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Published by Austin Traylor

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Published by: Austin Traylor on Dec 07, 2010
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Austin Traylor Engl 1103-024Professor Jan RiemannOctober 14, 2
A Glimpse of Retrospection and Foresight
We are essentially halfway through this crash-course now and looking back we can see the trailcarved behind us; the words we have written etched into the ground. Yet when we turn to look forwardwe can see forever. Before us there are infinite possibilities and a vast horizon. At some point someof us may turn towards the left in our paths, others right, and some may keep forging forward. We all willcontinue to head into the future with our stories engraved in our shadows, and we must all tackle thesame objective that looms before us: the midterm paper. A paper that will make us look at our footstepsand describe the process that has brought us where we stand, and also make us wonder where our journeys to tomorrow and the days afterwill take us to.Over the short amount of time that we havebeen meeting together we have been challenged toattempt different styles of writing weekly. To try and broaden our comfort zone of writing.Unfortunately I have barely stepped outside of my shell, only endeavoring to trydifferent methods of composing a formal essay. I have experimented with amore intra-personal standpoint in my essays thanI normally use as I was taught in high school to never speak to the reader. I never couldagree with thispoint. I feel as if you lose the opportunity for the reader to superimpose themselves into your positionorventure at putting themselves in your shoes. In one of my earlier writing pieces I also tried to playwith my levels of description. Some authors are very skilled with the way they can describe a scene,almost painting a picture in the readers head. Now when I look back at my previous works in which Itried to be descriptive, but I dont find myself very gifted in that department.
Comment [J1]:
Need last name and pagenumber
Comment [J2]:
No self assessment?
Comment [J3]:
Read this aloudIt would be nice to have more specifics in thisparagraph, some examples to help illustrate yourpoint.
Inversely it almost seems I am better off with trying to make the reader think. Pushing them to read intothe subject and create correlations between the concept presented and other ideas. These are the mainthings that I have noticed in my recent pieces that differ greatly from my standard writing format.As for the actual composition of my w
orks I do not find myself comfortable enough withcommunicating to strive at expressing my notions in any style other than that of a formal essay. While Imight not write in the standard format of Opening paragraph, definable thesis here, three bodyparagraphs, and conclusion I do not stray very far from that formateither. Instead my style doesnt
eventruly define a thesis in the opening paragraph, which I find myself very distressed about. Instead itattempts to open a thought process within the reader in which they might agree with or sympathizewith my thoughts. I then proceed to build paragraphs as you would in any other essay. Each paragraphbeing a definite stand-alone thought process or elaborated thought based off of the conceptspresentedin previous paragraphs.Now in my style of writing there are things which I find quite problematic: namely that I do notdefine a thesis in my opening paragraph andthe ability to keep the readers attention When it comes tothe opening paragraph many readers are looking specificallyfor the thesis statement to understandwhat the paper is about. So understandably they become lostbecause, as I have already stated, I do notdefine one. This has led me to worry that some readers will not know what to expect throughout the
paper. If this happens then the original hook that grabbed their attention quickly wears off and thereader loses interest in the paper. This brings me to my second point as I do not feel I can efficientlykeep the readers attention throughout the entirety of my paper. Some people state that my papers arepresented too scholarly and are hard to follow, and we all know that if your target audience does noteven finish the paper then you have failed completely.
Comment [J4]:
Is this a new para?
Comment [J5]:
Read this aloudAgain, can you give a specific example of howyouve dont this?
Comment [J6]:
Read this aloud to see if itsounds like you want
Comment [J7]:
Ill stop marking these weirdlyshoved together words
Comment [J8]:
Then why not just include athesis statement to guide your reader?
Now, putting the way I write my papers and my worries aside, we look instead to standards Iand the course had set for those works to meet. In the beginning of this adventure we had to askourselves what we wanted to learn. We had to ask what we wanted to gain for our composition skillsthrough the class time together. I myself merely wanted to bolster the level of my papers, not tochange the way I wrote them or constructed them. I wanted to have a better sense of what needed tobe done with my papers, and to have a better understanding of wordsI used. Those were my goals; thehurdles placed by me at the start. The course goals on the other hand seemed to be more gearedtowards the advancement of my own literacy as a person; to build on the confidence we already heldand present us to the world as more sophisticated people than we were before. In both respects I cansay that I feel like I am advancing down the marked path, but the speedI am moving at I cannot place.However, I feel like the tinkering I have done in my writingshas given me an idea of what I wanted toknow. It became possible to learn what I searched for because the chains and shackles of the definedformats we had impressed into us in our earlier schooling experienceswere torn asunder.Another thing I believe that has been, and is, imperative to our continuous growth towardsthese goals is the criticism we receive from having peer workshops. I myself could look at my paper overand over and not be able to find any problems in it. Its like a mime mimicking another mime. Howeverwhen another person analyzes your work the flaws become so much more apparent because they havea differing thought process. Going with the analogy of the mime again say a mime was to mimic aperson he passed on the street. The person in turn would then become extremely conscious of theiractions and attempt to change anything that seemed out of place or unusual. The peer workshops andanalysis of our peers works really gives us a boost and well needed hints to creating the perfectwork.
Comment [J9]:
Thats from a writers standpoint.What s it like to be a reader in PW?

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