NINJALISTICS, INC. MISSION STATEMENT
“We shall maintain cutting-edge technical standards in stealth,disguise, camoufage, combat, wall and rope climbing, dart blowing, clouding weak minds, and miscellaneous mysteriousninja-related activities, and stay abreast o current research insecurity systems, pressure points, sleep drugs, caustic acids,ingestive and insinuative poisons both herbal and inorganic,pyrotechnics, smoke, and other relevant cross-disciplinary studies, while continuing to promote, disseminate, and integrateecacious practices o covert inltration, surveillance,espionage, sabotage, and assassination that oster personalemployee growth and help us stay competitive in providingtimely long-term high-impact value-added destabilizationsolutions or tomorrow’s emerging global tactical realignment and unorthodox-warare markets.”
[Statement version 31.15.1]
PURPOSE OF THIS DOCUMENT
This handbook gives you, the new Ninjalistics employee, a brie overview o the corporate ninja’s dark mysteries, proprietary secrets, and required paperwork. From time to time, indeedon the very spur o the moment, Ninjalistics management may expand, delete or otherwise amend this document and thepolicies herein without any notication, prior or otherwise. Your supervisor can provide details, i you can track and deeat him/her in single combat.Ninjalistics employs its workers at-will and able-to-survive. Although we hope your employment relationship with us will belong and productive, Ninjalistics may terminate this relationshipor you at any time, or any reason, with or without cause or notice, on any vagrant whim or feeting ancy.