THERE·S NO GETTING AROUND THEM You go into a grocery store there are people with carts and we have to navigatethrough all of them. You go to the movies you have to interact with the person at the window and again there is a sea of movie goers. Whether it is a stranger or a family member we are in the world and we must relate with one another. There is no getting around it.How we relate to one another makes all the difference in the world. It takes C.A.R.Eto be in relationship no matter what the nature of that relationship is, from the mostcasual to the most intimate.
C = Commitment
² It takes commitment to fully engage and be present withanother. When we walk through a store how rare is it that you see people making eyecontact with one another let alone say a word. If someone does happen to make eyecontact with you what is your immediate reaction? Is it surprise, suspicion, joy? Doyou get caught off guard or do you outwardly pretend that they are not looking at youand ignore them? Do you question why they are looking at you? Hey, you lookin· atMe? Or, do you meet them with a friendly smile or gesture? It takes commitment to walk out the door each day and consciously intend to acknowledge otherness, whichis altogether another topic for discussion.
´Cµ can also equal Communication
. We are always communicating whether it is verbal or non-verbal. How and what wecommunicate is the root of all conflict and/or understanding. It takes commitment tocommunicate fully and clearly to leave no doubt in one·s mind as to what is expressedand meant.
A = Attention ²
For the most part we understand that children need our utmostattention. Children turn into adults. It is not just children that need attention;relationships with adults need attention as well. Without attention as children thefeeling of being ignored, unseen and unheard grows as we become adults. It canmanifest in a myriad of ways, through aggression, spite, physical and verbal abuse. We either act out or withdraw at the first hint of confrontation. As we enter into arelationship whether friendship or business associate each one is vying for attentionand attempting to get it in their own way. It often creates friction and conflictbecause neither individual is SEEing the other. They are not paying ATTENTIONto one another. There is no commitment to listening to another·s needs. How oftendo you find that as you are talking and expressing that the other person begins to talk over you and cuts you off in the middle of what you are saying? Do you do the same