D

Dear Wife/ Sw
weetheart/Girrl Friend/ Parrtner/whome
ever it may co
oncern,

1. Beetween 11 June and 11 July 2010,

2 you shouuld read the sp ports section of the newspape er so that you are
a aware of
w
what is going on
n regarding the w you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail
e World of Socccer, and that way
too do this, then you will be looked at in a bad
d way, or you will
w be totally ig
gnored. DO NO OT complain abbout not
reeceiving any atttention. 
 
2. During the World d Cup, the tele
evision is mine, at all times, without
w any excceptions. If you
u even take a glimpse
g of the
reemote control, you will lose it (your eye). 

3. Iff you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't

d mind, as long
l as you do
o it crawling on the floor and
w
without distracting me.  

4. During the game es I will be blin

nd, deaf and mute, unless I re
equire a refill of
o my drink or something
s to eat. You are outt
y expect me to listen to you
off your mind if you u, open the door, answer the e telephone, or pick up the ba
aby that just fell
onn the floor....It won't happen. 

5. ood idea for you to keep at le

Itt would be a go east 2 six packss in the fridge at
a all times, as well as plenty of things to
niibble on (excluding your bodyy parts), and pllease do not make
m any funnyy faces to my frriends when the ey come over
to
o watch the gam mes. In return,, you will be allowed to use thhe TV between n 12am and 6am m, unless theyy replay a good
ga ame that I misssed during the day. 

6. Pllease, please, please!!

p If you see me upset because one of o my teams is losing,
l DO NOT T say "get overr it, it's only a
gaame", or "don'tt worry, they'll win next time"". If you say th
hese things, you
u will only makke me angrier and
a I will love
yo
ou less. Remem mber, you will never
n ever kno
ow more about football than me m and your so o called "wordss of
en
ncouragement"" will only lead to a break up or divorce. 

7. Yo
ou are welcome to sit with me to watch one e game and you can talk to me m during halftime but only when
w the
co
ommercials aree on, and only if
i the half time scores is pleassing me. In add
dition, please note
n ng "one" game;
I am sayin
he
ence do not usse the World Cuup as a nice cheesy excuse to o "spend time together". 
t

8. Th
he replays of th
he goals are ve
ery important. I don't care if I have seen the
em or I haven't seen them, I want to see
th
hem again, Man ny times. 

9. Teell your friendss NOT to have any

a babies, or any other child
d related partie
es or gatherings that requires my
atttendance beca ause:

a)) I will not go,

b)) I will not go, and
c)) I will not go. 

10. Bu o mine invites us to his house

ut, if a friend of me, we will be there in a flash
e on a Sunday to watch a gam h. 

he daily World Cup highlightss show on TV every

11. Th e night is ju nt as the games themselves. Do not even
ust as importan
th
hink about saying "but you haave already see en this...why doon't you change the channel to
t something we
w can all
w
watch?" because
e, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of thiss list". 

12. An
nd finally, please save your expressions succh as "Thank Go
od the World Cup
C is only every 4 years". I am
a immune to
th
hese words, because before and
a after this co omes the Chammpions League,, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish
Le
eague, KPL, FA A Cup, Euro Cupp, etc.

P//S

Byy the way if yo

ou get stuck on the road call the
t Police or AA
A.

Th
hank you for yo
our cooperation.