9. ma tight hug. “Be a big boy spered, “and don't ery when tan last week, I feel so bad when yore today. jefe looked at the Toddler Center gate and bust two tears, He wrapped his anns and. lope round hts father, sticking Uke giue. Paul cerned. tne wating son through the gate, looking as if he might imself: Me walked up to uJeffiey's caregiivr, w. and sail sadly. don't know why seffiey gets upset when I bring hum tere. And tt seers to be tng worse Wencly smited warmty. “Partly ws because he knows you're upset, and partly because eryity ts Just Fis tony of sayy good-bye right now4 Saying Goodsnye ie Sad Paul hugged his tile boy. who was stil clinging tightly to hin, but exying less loudly. and asked. “Could w be because he doesn't like being here? Maybe he's nx ott enon yet" Wendy smiled again and said, “Uelfiey stops crying Just a few minutes after you're gone ard ts rappy most ofthe day Hin he's doing fine Suddenly Paul laughed. “Tm having a biager Problem than he has. 1Cs cay, but 1 Keep wishing # could trade with my wife. Let her do the dropping of ‘and me do the picking up.” Hearing his father laugh, Jeffrey looked wp to see that was gotrg on. Wendy came close to Jeffeey andl sald, ‘Tim going to help your Daddy to say good-bye: He's sad, just tke yas are." defiiey grabbed his father even more Ughtly and wailed. “No! Not No got” Wendy gently helped Post peek his son elf his body, saying to Jeffrey. “l’s okay {f you ery. Fl hott You as tong os you need me. We'l 9 to the wenn Paul walked quickly out the coor, waved, ant Iuuried off to work. Saying good-bye 18 hard for almost everyone: Parents need (o have time away from thetr toddlers, and its also good for toddlers to be away from their parents. They learn that the separation doesn’t last forever: their parents do come back. They learn they can trust and have fun with other adults. And finally, ‘Seying Good yee Sada they start to feel strong and independent, They oat be happy with other people to, Ws normal for parents to have mised feelings About allthis. Just ask any group of parents how they’ Feel about leaving their toddlers ‘Gutllyt_ Guillyt Guilty” "Once she was smiling when Left, Fran back for fone last kiss and she burst into (ears, | felt s0 ashamed. it was like I wanted to know that. she'd SIF he can be so hapry with other people, what does he need me for?” *She’s growing up so fast. I makes me feet proud and sad at the sate time.” Like most child care programs, the Toddler Center has had a lot of practice in helping with good: byes. One caregiver said, “I wish I could give a class fon how to say good-bye. Ii tell parents how to make it easier on themselves and their toddlers. Ta tell parents to: 1D Be clear that you're going to eave, Say. ‘Tn oing to work now. Tl se you after nap time. you want your child to trast you, don't ty to sneak out, And don't ask for your elles per mission. They have a choice about whether they ery, but not about whether youre going.”yn tie SS 56 Saying Good-nye ie Sed | Accept the sad feelings ~ yours as well as your ‘hile’. Don't make your ehidren feel they fare bat a'they exy by asking them to ‘be good ot ery. In fat. Hs fe yon tel theta feel sad too ~ 7) Walt to leave until your eid s really with a person. Make sure the caregiver can give your {oxldier fll attention, Take a moment to tll the cazegiver what's been happening ike ‘Jessica might be hungry soon, She didnt eat her breakfast, She feels proud, though, bbeeatise she put her shoes on all by herself" Make your good-bye short and matter of fact Hing. Kiss, And move out the door. Stop an wave. And GO. Its okay to be sad, but you ‘hang around acting upset, your child wil fel there's something vrong with you leaving and ‘may get seared and much more upset,” 4 ‘The caregiver looked at the room of happily Playing toddlers and Taughed. “One more thing,” she sald, “I wish all the parents who left this moming had ‘super xray vision so they could see their hirer right now!” 10. MINE! (6Y7 OU'VE BEEN USING that pail all day. Let Robin have a tw. rad ‘Don't you want to share uw “Not” "Don't you want Robin ta be app?” “Nat