Lam 1

Brian Lam

AP Literature

Mr. Gallagher

10 January 2011

Poetry in Translation Project

Francesco Petrarca

Voi ch'ascoltate in rime sparse il suono

di quei sospiri ond'io nudriva 'l core,
in sul mio primo giovenile errore,
quand'era in parte altr'uom da quel ch'i' sono,

del vario stile in ch'io piango et ragiono,

fra le vane speranze e 'l van dolore,
ove sia chi per prova intenda amore,
spero trovar pietà, nonché perdono.

Ma ben veggio or sí come al popol tutto

favola fui gran tempo, onde sovente
di me mesdesmo meco mi vergogno;

et del mio vaneggiar vergogna è 'l frutto,

e 'l pentersi, e 'l conoscer chiaramente
che quanto piace al mondo è breve sogno.

Francesco Petrarca (1304-1374) was an Italian scholar and poet. He was the “Father of
Humanism.” His best work was his songbook, Il Canzoniere, a poetical collection of sonnets
about his love for Laura, whom Petrarch fell in love with at first sight. However, Laura was
already married and denied all of Petrarca’s attempts to have a relationship with her. It is
unknown if the two ever spoke. Il Canzoniere emphasizes the paradox of Petrarchan love that
love is desire, and yet painful; the changing state, therefore, expresses instability. Petrarch also
emphasizes that time holds an opposing force against human, which he claims had worked
against him during his unrequited love for Laura.
 Lam 2

Francesco Petrarca (Translated by Brian Lam)

You heard in scattered rhymes the sound

of those laments that are felt in my heart.
Even when I was at my erring youth,
I was a different man.

Through the changing style, I weep and sing my song,

in the midst of vain hope and vain tears.
With those insights from love,
I hope to find pity and forgiveness to compound.

But with all the fable, I now see the repute

that I am a fool of myself, often
making me ashamed of myself;

shame is the fruit of my idle rage,

and regret, and I demand knowingly
that what is pleasing in this world is a short-lived dream.

Voi Ch’ascoltare In Rime Sparse Il Suono

You Who bear In Rhymes Scattered The Sound
Di Quei Sospiri Ond’io Nudriva ‘l core
Of Those Sighing Whence Nourished Heart
In Sul Mio Primo Giovenile Errore
In On My First Youthful Error
Quand’era In Parte Altr’uom Da Quell Ch’l’ Sono
When he In Parte Another By That Who, I am
man whom

Del Vario Stile In Ch’io Piango Et Ragiono

Of Various Style In I Cry And I speak
Fra Le Vane Speranze E ‘l van Dolore
Between The Empty Hopes And N/A in Pain,
Italian/Latin ache,
translations. hurt.
Ove Sia Chi Per Prova Intenda Amore
Where Is Who For Test, try Intends Love
Spero Trovar pietà nonchè Perdono
I hope Find Pity As well forgiveness
 Lam 3

Ma Ben Veggio Or Si Come Al Popol Tutto

But Well I see Or, Yes As To N/A in All
either Italian/Latin
translations.
Favola Fui Gran Tempo Onde Sovente
Fable, I great Time Waves Often
tale,
story
Di Me Medesmo Meco Mi Vergogno
Of Me Same Me I Ashamed

Et Del Mio Vaneggiar Vergogna È ‘l frutto

And Of My Rave Shame Is Fruit
(wild/furious)
E ‘l E ‘l conoscer Chiaramente
pentersi
And Regret And Know the Clearly
Che Quanto Piace Al Mondo È Breve Sogno
That How Like To World Is Short Dream

Francesco Petrarca (Translated by A.S. Kline)

You who hear the sound, in scattered rhymes,

of those sighs on which I fed my heart,
in my first vagrant youthfulness,
when I was partly other than I am,

I hope to find pity, and forgiveness,

for all the modes in which I talk and weep,
between vain hope and vain sadness,
in those who understand love through its trials.

Yet I see clearly now I have become

an old tale amongst all these people, so that
it often makes me ashamed of myself;

and shame is the fruit of my vanities,

and remorse, and the clearest knowledge
of how the world's delight is a brief dream.
 Lam 4

Meta-Cognitive

In Sonnet I of “Il Canzoniere,” Francesco Petrarca describes the time when he mourns

about his lost love that he experienced through his metaphorical representation of poetry. In my

translation, I focused on the overall emotion that Petrarca felt. However, after the translation, the

emotion had to be realistic and not something, that was easily expressed on behalf of Petrarca. I

do recognize my flaw in my translation, but trying to emulate the same conflict came against my

own personal experience in love with the general feeling of broken-heart that Petrarca must have

felt. Moreover, since Petrarca wrote in Sonnet form, I found it difficult (if not impossible) in my

translation to follow specific rhyme scheme to express his mournful tone. That is why I had to

follow the Petrarca’s overall emotion than my own personal feeling on broken-heartedness in

love.

In the first stanza, I clarified the confusion on the word choice by Kline’s translation. I

did not think that his words “sighs, fed, and vagrant” was specific enough to let readers know the

mournful tone of Petrarca. Instead, in my translation, these words are replaced with “laments,

felt, erring.” I really thought the translation needed clarity, so by contemporary American

English I decided to deliver that message to the reader’s understanding. I think Kline’s

translation sounds fitting to the old writing of Petrarca, but readers would find it difficult to

understand. I decided not to alter the translation of the words “scattered rhymes” because it

emphasizes the dismay and the “laments” that Petrarca felt (1-2). By using “scattered rhymes,”

Petrarca wants to connect how the broken verses of poetry are connected to the divisive

relationship that he had in real life. It was necessary to keep these two words without any minor

changes because the metaphor shows how his attitude on his love had changed over the course of

his life, stating, “Even when I was at my erring youth, I was a different man (3-4).” This implies
 Lam 5

that he is reflecting this conflict in the past and recounting it in the present. Both Kline and I had

made sure to separate the tenses and to create the distinction between the past and present tense

in the poem. Separating the tenses would further develop Petrarca’s mournful attitude since he is

looking back to see what he had done wrong in his relationship. The structure of the poem

needed to show how the “scattered rhymes,” the past and present, the changing attitude was

connected to Petrarca’s separation in his relationship. The first stanza is an introduction to the

topic and to what will come later in stanza two, three, and four. Since Kline and I did not follow

the rhyme schemes of a Petrarchan sonnet (because it was very hard to rhyme while translating

the original poem and preserving the meaning of the poem as a whole), the translation had to be

specific.

In the second stanza, I rearranged, organized, and clarified the thoughts that Kline was

trying to say without confusion. In lines 5, I decided to keep the literal translation of “changing

style” from its Italian translation “vario stile” because I understand that Petrarca is trying to

connect the changing style with his “scattered rhymes” in line 1. In contrast, Kline decided to

translate line 5 as “I hope to find pity, and forgiveness,” which differs to what Petrarca would

want. I decided to follow the literal translation because it does not throw away the overall

message of the first stanza, instead, it would keep the message flowing to the second stanza. By

rearranging some of Kline’s ideas, I think there is more clarity to how the poem should be read.

In line 6, I liked how Kline phrased “vain hope and vain sadness,” but it just needed to be

tweaked a little to get the message across. Kline use the words “modes” and “talk,” which I felt

needed clarity. What are modes? The awkward phrasing makes it sound impossible to

understand. In stanza 2, Petrarca is saying about vain suffering, love’s trial, and forgiveness. In

line 6, I thought it was necessary to say “in the midst of vain hope and vain tears, because since
 Lam 6

Petrarca’s relationship ended, he thought that hope and tears are useless to him. Once his

relationship ended, it was reasonable to feel that everything is against him, making him feel

hopeless in life. Despite the fact that he feels hopeless in life, he does not feel that tears are

affecting him. Because the break-up on his relationship was his first unrequited love, Petrarca

learned a lot from that experience. This leads me to say in lines 7-8, “With those insights from

love, I hope to find pity and forgiveness to compound.” Kline’s second stanza does not deliver

the message across; he lacks the intention to express how one with a broken heart should feel

after their relationship had ended. I notice that Kline says, “I hope to find pity, and forgiveness”

in the beginning of line 5 which is different from my translation where I put that in line 8. In my

translation, the effect to put that later in line 8 is to develop the consequence of a broken

relationship and then sought ways to comfort oneself from that event. I did the opposite of what

Kline did because it sounds a lot more organized, instead of details that are scattered in different

order.

In the third stanza, lines 9-11 present a self-reflection of an ashamed Petrarca. Again, I

see that Kline’s translation is a bit off due to how he organized each line in stanza 3. In lines 9, I

used the word “fable” because I feel it that it is a better word to say that Petrarca had learned a

moral lesson in life from his relationship. In contrast, Kline translated it as “old tale,” which does

not imply much underlying detail of how much he learned after his relationship. The message in

stanza 3 is that Petrarca regrets everything that he had done leading up to his broken relationship.

I decided to delete the part where Kline added in lines 10 “amongst all these people,” with “that I

am a fool of myself,” to further emphasize the individual feeling. The poem is a focus on

Petrarca, not about other people affecting his relationship. I interpreted as a personal failure to
 Lam 7

accomplish the relationship, and by saying, “I am a fool of myself” is more effective in

delivering the moral lesson learned.

In stanza 4, I fixed the wording and tried to clarified line confusion. In line 12, my

translation says “idle rage” as oppose to Kline’s translation that says “vanities.” In this line, I

questioned why Kline decided to use the word vanity if Petrarca’s sonnet is about love and

regret. The word vanity has no connection to excessive pride on a Petrarca’s personality, and

bears no context. In addition, the Italian word “vaneggiar” means rave (wild or furious), I just do

not see how Kline was able to draw his interpretation that vanity was the right usage. This leads

me to think that “idle rage” was a more accurate translation because of the conflicting emotion

that Petrarca experienced in love. The antithesis “idle rage,” suppose to reveal that his inner

emotion of shame is futile and that rage has taken over him. In lines 13, I decided to put

“demanded knowingly” to emphasize Petrarca’s ambition to find a universal truth on why love is

sometimes so painful to experience. In contrast to Kline’s translation, his wording “clearest

knowledge” could better improve if it is fitting to the tone in the last stanza. His translation

“clearest knowledge” sounds like there is a sudden realization of his broken relationship, but

does not connect well with his translation on “vanity.” Kline’s translation lacks organization to

clarify what Petrarca is trying to say. The last line of the last stanza is significant in that it

highlights how much Petrarca wants to put back his life together, and dismisses his dream as

“short-lived dream” hoping to bounce back his illusion of shame to reality.

Overall, this poetry in translation project was quite difficult. As I took the role of a

translator, I had to face a grey area in translating a foreign language into English. What I mean

by grey area is that I may not follow the rule of Sonnet form in translating to achieve the overall

emotion of the poem. As a translator, I have to decide what I need to put by taking into account
 Lam 8

from Kline’s translation and Petrarca’s original poem. The confusion lies between literal

translation and overall translation of the poem. In the end, I decided to follow the overall

meaning of the poem since it produced a better understanding to me, and hopefully, to the

readers.

Work Cited

Francesco Petrarch - Father of Humanism. N.p., 10 Sept. 2007. Web. 10 Jan. 2011.

<http://petrarch.petersadlon.com/canzoniere.html?poem=1>.