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I Will Sit by the Beds of Your Children . . . and Destroy Them Slowly

I Will Sit by the Beds of Your Children . . . and Destroy Them Slowly



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Published by Rose
This is disturbing! I wouldn't even ask you to read it, except that I need your help regarding how to finish it . . .
This is disturbing! I wouldn't even ask you to read it, except that I need your help regarding how to finish it . . .

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Published by: Rose on Jan 15, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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. . .
(A Story of Sunny Thoughts and Dark Nightmares)
I was reading from my regular daily devotional book one Saturday not long agoand I remember feeling that God wanted me to go ahead and read the page for the next day too. I resisted, of course. That's the page for tomorrow, I thought.Why would I read Sunday's selection on Saturday? But I did, and I read this:For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God thatis in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39I connected with that passage in such a powerful way that day. It reminded meof a thought that had come to my mind, like a message from God, several daysearlier. I think I must have been allowing some worry to trouble me; probably Iwas worrying about the safety of my children or other loved ones. The thoughtthat came to me was this:To God, even death is irrelevant.And, as it has always been when the messages come, I received, with those fewsimple words, a profound understanding of the depth of their meaning. Whenwe pray for protection for a loved one or for some other situation that seems torequire some specific outcome or “answer”, our hope still allows for fear andworry. We don't know the future so we don't know that things will turn out theway we would prefer.And when having the preferred answer is something that is very, very importantto us, our hope and our prayers have a kind of frantic quality to them. Becauseour hope is not in God, but in our limited desires regarding how thecircumstances should turn out. Circumstances, I think, are something veryweak to put our hope in.But if our hope is in God, there is no room for fear or worry because, like thescripture says, NOTHING can separate us from God's love. So, if we arepraying for a loved one, even if they die, that does not mean God hasabandoned them or failed to protect them, because not even death can separatethat person from God's love. They are safe in the Love of God, regardless of the circumstances!But, even as we seek to achieve that level of peace where our hope is totally inGod and no circumstance can shake us, God understands that we aren't thereyet. He understands that, to us, death is extremely relevant. So he is there withus every step of the way, comforting us and strengthening us in our pain, in our fear, and in our worry.
And when I read the passage from Romans, I felt that part of the purpose for mebeing led to read it early was that I needed to immediately share the passageand my thoughts with someone who was struggling, trying to come to termswith the suicide of a close friend.I understand that one part of the fear and worry that Christians, in particular,experience related to the death of a loved one is the concern that maybesomehow that loved one did not meet the criteria for acceptance by God after death. Maybe they didn't believe correctly or maybe their lives didn't contain thenecessary quantity of righteousness.But all I know about that is that WE are not the judge. Our responsibility is tocare for the living, to love them, to be obedient to God in how we can make adifference in the lives of those he places in our paths. But we are no one's judge. That is not our burden, not our concern to worry about.So, as 2011 begins, people talk about hope. Hope for a “happy new year”, achance to start fresh. We connect with a sincere hope that this year will beBETTER somehow than the one that has just passed. And if our hope is incircumstances, then it is an anxious, shaky, tentative hope. Maybe this year willbring us better circumstances and maybe it won't.But if our hope is in God, then we can be very sure that our hope will notdisappoint us. It is like having a 100% guarantee of a better year, a year of peace and freedom from fear and worry. Because NOTHING, not death, notanything, can separate us from the Love of God!!We are conquerors. We are MORE THAN conquerors!!On an icy Tuesday evening, I exercised vigorously, drank coffee, and stimulatedmy mind by writing. I finished writing what you have just read and went to sleep.I didn't expect to sleep well. (I know the rules of sleep hygiene.) But I did sleepwell, actually, except for the weird and vivid nightmare.I had intended to end my essay with the “more than conquerors part”. Thatwould make for an inspiring, positive RoseDQ ending, don't you think?I thought I had plugged up most of the loopholes with enough positivity. I wasstill somewhat troubled by one, though. The “fate worse than death” loophole. Ifigured I had presented a fairly solid case for death not being a thing to fear or worry about much. But still there was that nagging thought – we do all knowthere are things we fear and worry about more than death. It was a loophole topossibly give some thought to the next day. And with that, I fell asleep.

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Rose added this note
I need to read this now. I have been struggling way too much with worry!
Rose added this note
Two years has passed so very quickly! I never did revise this. I read it over recently, though, and decided I like it just the way it is!
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Aniruddha Sastikar added this note
"neither angels nor demons, nor any powers, will be able to separate us from the love of God" How true! Amazing read, Rose!
Rose added this note
Well, I never did revise this. Maybe someday . . .
Rose liked this
Rose added this note
Well, I think I will not end up revising this. I think I will just write a sequel of some sort . . .
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