Loving Freelydougfloyd5/7/2007I quit trying to be great. Once I had aspirations of making a name for myself,becoming a famous person. Now I just want to learn to be a person. I dreamed ofspeaking before thousands of people frozen under the spell of my voice. I wasgoing to change the world. Now I realize: I cannot even change myself.I am not even free to love as He loved.As Jesus gathers with his disciples for a final meal, he looks around the room andsees people who will not be faithful, who will not love him to the end, who willabandon him in the hour of his greatest need.He sees Judas and knows that in just a few moments, Judas will leave to meet withconspirators seeking to kill Jesus. And there’s Philip, Andrew and the others.When the hour of reckoning comes, they’ll abandon him, escaping into the night.His three closest friends Peter, James and John will fail him. The one time heasks for prayer, they’ll fall asleep, leaving him alone in his greatest trial.These three has shared a rare intimacy with Jesus. He took these three up themountain and revealed glories beyond imagination. They saw him in a light no otherliving human would see, and they still failed him.Peter wasn’t always Peter. He was Simon. Jesus named him “Peter,” the rock. Thisheadstrong man was to play a special foundational role in Jesus’ purposes.Bursting ahead of pack in his passionate way, Peter experienced the power of Jesusin amazing, unique ways like walking on the water.Yet Jesus knows that his darkest hour, Peter will deny him. Jesus said, “If youdeny me before men, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven.” Peter not onlydenies him before men, he curses anyone suggested otherwise.So as Jesus prepares to spend a final evening with his disciples, he sees a groupof strangers. He is alone. These men will not be faithful. These men will betray,deny, abandon him. “Having love his own who were in the world, he loved them tothe end.”Resting in the love of his Father alone, Jesus kneels down before each man.Humbling himself before them, he washes their feet. His life will soon bequenched. He pours that same life into these men.He speaks words of comfort, encouragement, instruction. His love has noconstraints. He freely embraces his betrayer. He freely serves and loves all thosewho will disappoint him, forget him and leave him.As he demonstrates this free gift of love, he exhorts, “Love one another as I haveloved you.” This love is not fickle, changing based on circumstances. It is awellspring that never stops flowing. This love flows freely and continuouslybetween the Father and the Son by the Holy Spirit.Jesus comes to earth, revealing the express image of the Father. He reveals a lovethat is never restrained. Beaten, mocked, humiliated, spat upon, lied about,cursed and crucified: he continues loving: “Father forgive them for they know notwhat they do.”

In his complete freedom to love, Jesus reveals what the Father looks like. He alsoreveals what humans were created to look like. Created in the image of God, humanswere made for love. As I gaze upon a love that is freely flow, I realize that mostof my dreams of grandeur cannot compare with the highest calling of simplybecoming a human being, becoming free to love.But I fear we are not free to love. We are nice instead.We live in a nice country with nice people who drive nice cars, and live in nicehouses. Take away the nice house, the nice car, the nice food, the nice family,and will we still be nice?I wonder if we have any idea what it means to love freely. It is natural to holdour hurts closer than our love. I think we love the idea of love, but the act oflove costs too much. It requires our life.Paul suggests that where the Spirit of God is there is freedom. He suggests thatChrist comes to frees us from the bondage to sin. Those in bondage are not free.While we speak of freedom and salvation and redemption, I wonder, are we reallyfree to love?I think about Jesus loving the disciples, loving the thief on the cross, andforgiving those who crucified him. In his act of unrestrained love, I am mostamazed by the love expressed to Peter. As he looks down from the cross, heconfesses that they don’t realize what they are doing.The Jewish leaders, the Roman soldiers, and the gaping crowds never shared thesame quiet intimacy that Peter shared. They never walked on the water; they neverclimbed the mountain to behold a vision of transfiguration. They never saw whatPeter saw, heard what Peter heard, and lived what Peter lived.Peter acknowledged that Jesus was the Christ. And in a moment of terror, he deniedthat same Christ before all men. The breach of a friend wounds far deeper breachthan the arrow of an enemy.The Gospel writers brand Judas as an enemy from the beginning. So we are notsurprised when he betrays Jesus. But Peter, he was an intimate friend. He knew thesecrets of love. And he denied that love.In Jesus’ darkest hour, Peter abandoned him.We may find the courage to love our enemies, but can we love the friends andfamily who misunderstand us, disappoint us, and even abandon us?Jesus loves freely for he knows a love that will not stop. He knows a love thatcontinues even into death. He knows a love stronger than death. In his finalmoments, he tells the disciples that they can know that same love. In fact, he ispreparing the way through the cross for them to enjoy a place in that love.The wondrous promise of our faith is not about mansions and crowns and goldenroads. The wondrous promise that Jesus offers is the love of the Father that willnever be quenched. We are loved. And we will be loved. And we will be loved. Andwe will be loved. And we will be loved.Nothing will stop this love. No angels, no demons, no hardship, no suffering. Noteven death. We rest completely secure in His love. If we ever but catch a glimpseof the wondrous security of this love, we may discover a way of loving freely. Wemay actually forgive the hurts and failures and spears of friend and foe alike.