for whom normative standards of English grammar and usage are functions of nothing but custom and the ovine docility of a populace that lets self-appointedlanguage experts boss them around.”In the “Usage Wars,” it’s the bossy Prescriptivists, who prescribe what “good”English should be, versus the go-with-the-flow Descriptivists, who as linguistsdescribe how English is actually used. For example, we have two 18
th
centuryPrescriptivists to thank for our strict rule against double negatives. They decidedthat double negatives, such as the Spanish
No hay nada
, were illogical because twonegatives should make a positive in language just as in mathematics, even though,as any linguist will tell you, thousands of languages use the double negativewithout confusion, including Old English and every single nonstandard dialect of English. “Once introduced a prescriptive rule is very hard to eradicate, no matterhow ridiculous,” writes linguist and cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, best knownfor his book
The Language Instinct
. Pinker, a die-hard Descriptivist, argues thatour brains are hardwired for language; that our ability to communicate verbally isinstinctual, selected and honed by evolutionary forces. That’s why no one – unlessthey are debilitated in some “profound Oliver Sacksish way” – has to be told not tosay
Apples the eat boy
or
The child seems sleeping
. According to Pinker, we don’tneed rules, like the arbitrary prohibition on double negatives, because the reallyimportant rules are hardwired into people’s neocortex. “When a scientist considersall the high-tech mental machinery needed to order words into everyday sentences,prescriptive rules are, at best, inconsequential decorations.”But can decorative rules have real-world consequences? Just because something is“decorative” does not necessarily make it “inconsequential.” We might, forinstance, have learned about consonant weakening – how the “t” sound requires anextra energetic puff of air and how, over time, it is a natural process in human