Non-Verbal

Communication – Body
Language
Maya. M, Lecturer, MBA Department,
Sathyabama University

Types of Non-Verbal communication, Paraverbal Message,

Power of Body language, Tips for successful Nonverbal
communication, Evaluating Nonverbal communication skills

Admin
NONVERBAL MESSAGES/COMMUNICATION
The power of nonverbal communication cannot be underestimated. In his book, Silent Messages,
Professor Albert Mehrabian says the messages we send through our posture, gestures, facial
expression, and spatial distance account for 55% of what is perceived and understood by others.
In fact, through our body language we are always communicating, whether we want to or not!

Nonverbal messages are the primary way that we communicate emotions:

1. Account for about 55% of what is perceived and understood by others.

2. Are conveyed through our facial expressions as well as our postures and gestures.

Types of nonverbal communication and

body language
There are many different types of nonverbal communication. Together, the following nonverbal
signals and cues communicate your interest and investment in others.

Facial expressions
The human face is extremely expressive, able to express countless emotions without saying a
word. And unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are universal. The
facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across
cultures.

Body movements and posture

Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand up, or hold
their head. The way you move and carry yourself communicates a wealth of information to the
world. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, bearing, stance, and subtle
movements.
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Our body postures can create a feeling of warm openness or cold rejection. For example, when
someone faces us, sitting quietly with hands loosely folded in the lap, a feeling of anticipation
and interest is created. A posture of arms crossed on the chest portrays a feeling of inflexibility.
The action of gathering up one's materials and reaching for a purse signals a desire to end the
conversation.

Gestures
Gestures are woven into the fabric of our daily lives. We wave, point, beckon, and use our hands
when we’re arguing or speaking animatedly—expressing ourselves with gestures often without
thinking. However, the meaning of gestures can be very different across cultures and regions, so
it’s important to be careful to avoid misinterpretation.

Eye contact
Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of
nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things,
including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining
the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person’s response.

Touch
We communicate a great deal through touch. Think about the messages given by the following: a
firm handshake, a timid tap on the shoulder, a warm bear hug, a reassuring pat on the back, a
patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on your arm.

Space
Have you ever felt uncomfortable during a conversation because the other person was standing
too close and invading your space? We all have a need for physical space, although that need
differs depending on the culture, the situation, and the closeness of the relationship. You can use
physical space to communicate many different nonverbal messages, including signals of
intimacy, aggression, dominance, or affection.
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Voice
We communicate with our voices, even when we are not using words. Nonverbal speech sounds
such as tone, pitch, volume, inflection, rhythm, and rate are important communication elements.
When we speak, other people “read” our voices in addition to listening to our words. These
nonverbal speech sounds provide subtle but powerful clues into our true feelings and what we
really mean. Think about how tone of voice, for example, can indicate sarcasm, anger, affection,
or confidence.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it

 Intensity. A reflection of the amount of energy you project is considered your intensity.
Again, this has as much to do with what feels good to the other person as what you
personally prefer.
 Timing and pace. Your ability to be a good listener and communicate interest and
involvement is impacted by timing and pace.
 Sounds that convey understanding. Sounds such as “ahhh, ummm, ohhh,” uttered with
congruent eye and facial gestures, communicate understanding and emotional connection.
More than words, these sounds are the language of interest, understanding and
compassion.

Paraverbal Messages
Paraverbal communication refers to the messages that we transmit through the tone, pitch, and
pacing of our voices. It is how we say something, not what we say. Professor Mehrabian states
that the paraverbal message accounts for approximately 38% of what is communicated to
someone. A sentence can convey entirely different meanings depending on the emphasis on
words and the tone of voice. For example, the statement, "I didn't say you were stupid" has six
different meanings, depending on which word is emphasized.

Some points to remember about our paraverbal communication:

 When we are angry or excited, our speech tends to become more rapid and higher
pitched.
 When we are bored or feeling down, our speech tends to slow and take on a monotone
quality.

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  When we are feeling defensive, our speech is often abrupt.

Paraverbal Messages:

1. Account for about 38% of what is perceived and understood by others.

2. Include the tone, pitch, and pacing of our voice
Key Listening Skills:

Giving Full Physical Attention To The Speaker

Attending is the art and skill of giving full, physical attention to another person. In his book,
People Skills, Robert Bolton, Ph.D., refers to it as "listening with the whole body".

Effective attending is a careful balance of alertness and relaxation that includes appropriate body
movement, eye contact, and "posture of involvement". Fully attending says to the speaker, "What
you are saying is very important. I am totally present and intent on understanding you". We
create a posture of involvement by:

 Leaning gently towards the speaker;

 Facing the other person squarely;
 Maintaining an open posture with arms and legs uncrossed;
 Maintaining an appropriate distance between us and the speaker;
 Moving our bodies in response to the speaker, i.e., appropriate head nodding, facial
expressions.

As psychiatrist Franklin Ernst, Jr. writes in his book, Who's Listening?".

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Being Aware of the Speaker’s Nonverbal Messages

When we pay attention to a speaker's body language we gain insight into how that person is
feeling as well as the intensity of the feeling. Through careful attention to body language and
paraverbal messages, we are able to develop hunches about what the speaker (or listener) is
communicating. We can then, through our reflective listening skills, check the accuracy of those
hunches by expressing in our own words, our impression of what is being communicated.

Paying Attention to the Words and Feelings

In order to understand the total meaning of a message, we must be able to gain understanding
about both the feeling and the content of the message. We are often more comfortable dealing
with the content rather than the feelings (i.e., the relationship), particularly when the feelings are
intense. Our tendency is to try and ignore the emotional aspect of the message/conflict and move
directly to the substance of the issues.

This can lead to an escalation of intense emotions. It may be necessary to deal directly with the
relationship problem by openly acknowledging and naming the feelings and having an honest
discussion about them prior to moving into the substantive issues. If we leave the emotional
aspect unaddressed, we risk missing important information about the problem as well as
derailing the communication process.

Reflective Listening Skills

Reflective listening or responding is the process of restating, in our words, the feeling and/or
content that is being expressed and is part of the verbal component of sending and receiving
messages. By reflecting back to the speaker what we believe we understand, we validate that
person by giving them the experience of being heard and acknowledged. We also provide an
opportunity for the speaker to give us feedback about the accuracy of our perceptions, thereby
increasing the effectiveness of our overall communication.

Paraphrasing - This is a concise statement of the content of the speaker's message. A paraphrase
should be brief, succinct, and focus on the facts or ideas of the message rather than the feeling.
The paraphrase should be in the listener's own words rather than "parroting back", using the
speaker's words.
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"You believe that Jane needs an instructional assistant because she isn't capable of working
independently."

"You would like Bob to remain in first grade because you think the activities would be more
developmentally appropriate."

"You do not want Beth to receive special education services because you think it would be
humiliating for her to leave the classroom at any time."

"You want to evaluate my child because you think he may have an emotional disability.

Reflecting Feeling - The listener concentrates on the feeling words and asks herself, "How
would I be feeling if I was having that experience?" She then restates or paraphrases the feeling
of what she has heard in a manner that conveys understanding.

"You are very worried about the impact that an evaluation might have on Lisa's self esteem".

"You are frustrated because dealing with Ben has taken up so much of your time, you feel like
you've ignored your other students."

"You feel extremely angry about the lack of communication you have had in regards to Joe's
failing grades."

"You're upset because you haven't been able to get in touch with me when I'm at work."

Summarizing - The listener pulls together the main ideas and feelings of the speaker to show
understanding. This skill is used after a considerable amount of information sharing has gone on
and shows that the listener grasps the total meaning of the message. It also helps the speaker gain
an integrated picture of what she has been saying.

"You're frustrated and angry that the assessment has taken so long and confused about why the
referral wasn't made earlier since that is what you thought had happened. You are also willing to
consider additional evaluation if you can choose the provider and the school district will pay for
it".

"You're worried that my son won't make adequate progress in reading if he doesn't receive
special services. And you feel that he needs to be getting those services in the resource room for
at least 30 minutes each day because the reading groups in the classroom are bigger and wouldn't
provide the type of instruction you think he needs."

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The Power of Nonverbal communication
and Body Language
Good communication is the foundation of successful relationships, both personally and
professionally. But we communicate with much more than words. In fact, research shows that
the majority of our communication is nonverbal. Nonverbal communication, or body language,
includes our facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture, and even the tone of our voice.

The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication is a powerful tool that will help you
connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build
better relationships at home and work.

The power of nonverbal communication and body language

Nonverbal communication, or body language, is a vital form of communication. When we

interact with others, we continuously give and receive countless wordless signals. All of our
nonverbal behaviors—the gestures we make, the way we sit, how fast or how loud we talk, how
close we stand, how much eye contact we make—send strong messages.

The way you listen, look, move, and react tell the other person whether or not you care and how
well you’re listening. The nonverbal signals you send either produce a sense of interest, trust,
and desire for connection—or they generate disinterest, distrust, and confusion.

Nonverbal communication cues can play five roles:

 Repetition: they can repeat the message the person is making verbally
 Contradiction: they can contradict a message the individual is trying to convey
 Substitution: they can substitute for a verbal message. For example, a person's eyes can
often convey a far more vivid message than words and often do
 Complementing: they may add to or complement a verbal message. A boss who pats a
person on the back in addition to giving praise can increase the impact of the message
 Accenting: they may accent or underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for
example, can underline a message.

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Nonverbal Communication Barriers
1. Flashing or rolling eyes

2. Quick or slow movements

3. Arms crossed, legs crossed

4. Gestures made with exasperation

5. Slouching, hunching over

6. Poor personal care

7. Doodling

8. Staring at people or avoiding eye contact

9. Excessive fidgeting with materials

All of these examples of barriers prevent communication, mutual understanding, respect,

problem solving, and identifying solutions that will meet everyone's needs. They put a serious
strain on relationships that ultimately need to be collaborative in order to most effectively meet
the needs of our children. Use of these "communication errors" results in increased emotional
distancing between the parties, escalation in the intensity of the conflict and a negative
environment for everyone involved.

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Using body language and nonverbal
communication successfully
Nonverbal communication is a rapidly flowing back-and-forth process. Successful nonverbal
communication depends on emotional self-awareness and an understanding of the cues you’re
sending, along with the ability to accurately pick up on the cues others are sending you. This
requires your full concentration and attention. If you are planning what you’re going to say next,
daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues
and other subtleties in the conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment
experience in order to fully understand what’s going on.

Tips for successful nonverbal communication:

 Take a time out if you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress. Stress compromises your
ability to communicate. When you’re stressed out, you’re more likely to misread other
people, send off confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy
knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into
the conversation. Once you’ve regained your emotional equilibrium, you’ll be better
equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way.
 Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is
being said. If you get the feeling that someone isn’t being honest or that something is
“off,” you may be picking up on a mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues. Is the
person is saying one thing, and their body language something else? For example, are
they telling you “yes” while shaking their head no?
 Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a
single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you are sending and
receiving, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language. Are your nonverbal cues
consistent—or inconsistent—with what you are trying to communicate?

Improving your nonverbal communication skills

Before you can improve your nonverbal communication skills, you need to figure out what
you’re doing right and where there is room for improvement. The most effective method is to
observe yourself in action:

 Video camera – Videotape a conversation between you and a partner. Set the camera to
record both of you at the same time, so you can observe the nonverbal back-and-forth.
When you watch the recording, focus on any discrepancies between your verbal and
nonverbal communication.
 Digital camera – Ask someone to take a series of photos of you while you’re talking to
someone else. As you look through the photos, focus on you and the other person’s body
language, facial expressions, and gestures.
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  Audio recorder – Record a conversation between you and a friend or family member. As
you listen to the recording afterwards, concentrate on the way things are said, rather than
the words. Pay attention to tone, timing, pace, and other sounds.

As you watch or listen to the recordings, ask yourself the following questions:

Evaluating your nonverbal communication skills

Eye contact Is this source of connection missing, too intense, or just right in yourself or in
the person you are looking at?
Facial What is your face showing? Is it masklike and unexpressive, or emotionally
expression present and filled with interest? What do you see as you look into the faces of
others?
Tone of voice Does your voice project warmth, confidence, and delight, or is it strained and
blocked? What do you hear as you listen to other people?
Posture and Does your body look still and immobile, or relaxed? Sensing the degree of
gesture tension in your shoulders and jaw answers this question. What do you observe
about the degree of tension or relaxation in the body of the person you are
speaking to?
Touch Remember, what feels good is relative. How do you like to be touched? Who do
you like to have touching you? Is the difference between what you like and what
the other person likes obvious to you?
Intensity Do you or the person you are communicating with seem flat, cool, and
disinterested, or over-the-top and melodramatic? Again, this has as much to do
with what feels good to the other person as it does with what you personally
prefer.
Timing and What happens when you or someone you care about makes an important
pace statement? Does a response—not necessarily verbal—come too quickly or too
slowly? Is there an easy flow of information back and forth?
Sounds Do you use sounds to indicate that you are attending to the other person? Do you
pick up on sounds from others that indicate their caring or concern for you?
Source: The Language of Emotional Intelligence, by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.
The point of this exercise is to develop your nonverbal awareness. As you continue to pay
attention to the nonverbal cues and signals you send and receive, your ability to communicate
will improve.

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