FADE IN:

EXT. COAST HIGHWAY (SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA) - DAY

A green MGB convertible wends its way along, top down and heading
fast toward the sinking sun.

INT. CONVERTIBLE - DAY (MOVING)

Behind the wheel is TOM HANLIN (30s), a natural charmer with casual
aplomb. He doesn't bother with any "hands-off" phone. Business for
him is hands-on and personal, now more than ever:

TOM
-- But it's got nothing to do with
me. If Peter wants to fire the
party people, let Peter pay the
party piper. I don't have enough
time for proper due diligence as it
is.

INT. POWERSERVE - AMANDA'S OFFICE - DAY

AMANDA MCKINLEY, V.P. Sales and Marketing, tall, beautiful, razor

sharp. She paces while talking into her headset.

AMANDA
So you said in front of the board
before throwing your little
conniption. We all heard you, Tom.

INTERCUT:

TOM
Position, Amanda, I argued my
position with passion and finesse.
You used to like that.

AMANDA
You used to lead with passion and
sense. The old you would never
have freaked out liked that --

TOM
-- I did not freak out --

AMANDA
-- You freaked out while Peter kept
his cool and now you --

TOM
-- Peter wants this merger --

AMANDA
-- You weren't at the meeting!
You're barely ever here anymore.
(more)
 2.
AMANDA(CONT'D)
Even when you are it's like you're
someplace else. Where are you,
Tom?

TOM
Right here, Amanda, and still I'm
there for you. Why you doing this?

AMANDA
Bottom line, you're in charge of
the Snork! signing. It's business,
strictly and personally. That is
what you taught me, isn't it?

TOM
You're making it sound pretty less
personal to me.

AMANDA
Yeah, and you're being paranoid.

BLIP!--Amanda hangs up on him. Tom can't believe it.

TOM
Paranoid? How could I be paranoid
if I'm not paranoid about my own
paranoia? Who said that?

On which the cell CHIMES. Tom answers quick.

TOM (CONT'D)
I'm not paranoid!

INT. CUBICLE - DAY

TIGHT SHOTS of a MYSTERY NERD whose face we cannot see--Birkenstocks

over socks, Band-Aids on several fingertips. He huddles over the
phone, speaks hushedly, disguising his voice:

MYSTERY NERD
(into phone; heavy voice)
Mr. Hanlin?

INTERCUT:

TOM
Who's this?

MYSTERY NERD
Call me...

His eyes dart about, searching--there's nothing but Snork!

paraphernalia everywhere. He regards the pliable squeeze-relaxer in
his free hand, a colorful chipmunk character.
 3.

MYSTERY NERD (CONT'D)

Call me, Alvin... ator.

TOM
What can I do for you, Alvinator?

A SNORK! BOSS drops a stack of papers in Alvinator's "In" box

SNORK! BOSS
On my desk before you leave.

ALVINATOR
(regular whiney voice)
Yes, ma'am, right away.

TOM
Hellooo?

Alvinator gives Boss a mean little finger behind her back, hunches
into the phone again:

ALVINATOR
Tom, you still -- Are you there?

TOM
I'm thinking I'm not --

ALVINATOR
-- No, wait! It's about the Snork!
deal.

TOM
What about Snork!?

ALVINATOR
We're -- they are over-valued.

TOM
And this would be news to?

ALVINATOR
Ten times over-valued.

EXT. SIDE OF ROAD - CONTINUOUS

Tom pulls over and climbs out of his car. Traffic whipping past
makes it hard for him to hear.

TOM
No way. Two times, definitely,
three maybe, not ten.

ALVINATOR
The books are cooked.
 4.

TOM
I've reviewed Snork!'s finances.
The numbers are solid, it's their
projections I have a problem with.

ALVINATOR
(whispers)
Check out the Simmons deal.

TOM
I can't hear --

ALVINATOR
The Simmons deal.

TOM
How do I contact you if --

The line goes dead. Tom scrolls the phone's menu, keys for last
number received: CALLER ID BLOCKED.

TOM (CONT'D)
Now who's being paranoid?

EXT. BEACH BUNGALOW - DAY

An old but well kept place in a row of similar places, with a van out
front. Tom climbs out of his car and steps onto the porch. He takes
a solemn breath.

INT. BEACH BUNGALOW - LIVING ROOM - DAY

HELEN (50s) directs two burly packers with the names SAM and CHAD
stenciled on their shirts. The place is filled with boxes and
wrapped furniture.

HELEN
Please be careful with that
platter, it's quite fragile.

Chad tosses it into a box with a THUD. Helen SIGHS, turns to find
Tom in the doorway.

HELEN (CONT'D)
Tom, hi. You're so quiet, I didn't
hear you.

She opens the screen door to let him in.

TOM
Got held up.
 5.

HELEN
We're almost done. Just a couple
more boxes in here and they'll
start on your father's den.

She leads Tom into --

THE DEN

A warm, rustic room, full of wood and crammed with the prized
possessions acquired over a lifetime.

Tom spots a framed photo on the fireplace mantel. It's of a boy on a

fishing trip, squished between loving parents holding a marlin.

HELEN
That was his most favorite one. He
missed your mother so much.

TOM
You were a good friend to him,
Helen.

HELEN
I couldn't fill that hole.

TOM
I don't know if I can do this.

HELEN
Then don't. I'm happy to stay
while the packers finish up.

TOM
Salvation Army's coming tomorrow.
And I need to.

Tom forces a smile, resisting tears. Helen looks like she wants to
give him a hug but holds back.

HELEN
Tom, remember who he was and carry
that with you. You are still your
father's son

TOM
Without him? I wonder.

Sam steps in carrying an empty box.

SAM
Looks like this is it. Shouldn't
take more 'an a couple hours.
 6.

He sets the box down and starts dumping stuff into it; no regard for
sentiment. Tom reacts, moving to stop him with --

TOM
Yeah -- Great job guys, but I think
I'll take it from here.

Sam plucks the photo off the mantel. Tom snatches it back.

HELEN
Don't do this to yourself, Tom.

TOM
I don't want people pawing through
my dad's stuff. Some of it meant
something to him once. It all
means something to me.

Off Helen's nod, Sam lumbers back into the living room.

HELEN
But what will you do with it?

TOM
Put it in storage 'til I figure
that out.

HELEN
Don't suppose you want some help?
(off shake)
Can I at least arrange the storage?

Tom relents and Helen leaves him to pack up a room full of memories.
The front door BANGS shut. He loosens his tie and gets to it.

INT. BEACH BUNGALOW - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Late. Tom skids a full box out of the den, looking tired. He grabs
another box and heads back into --

IN THE DEN

A fire burns in the fireplace, and though lots has been packed into
several boxes labelled "storage," there's still much to do. Tom
picks up what looks like a stuffed gopher glued to a surf board.

Does it go in the new empty box for donations, or the one filled with
storage stuff? The gopher is so kitschy, Tom's choice seems obvious.

He notices the gopher's smiling and smiles back, chooses the keeper
box at the last instant looking like he might cry.

TOM
Get a hold of yourself, man.
(puts it in box; then)
(more)
 7.
TOM(CONT'D)
Okay, no more stuffed gophers,
that's progress.

He opens a large cabinet only to find it stuffed top to bottom with

even more gophers. Tom slams it shut, puts his back to it as though
they might bust out. He focuses on his father's decanter collection.

While most are obviously empty, he quickly finds a white bottle in

the back. Tom rubs the grimy label. It's Malibu rum.

TOM (CONT'D)
Malibu? You bet I bu.

He twists off the top. A syrupy vapor floats from it forming a thick
contrail around him. Tom takes a whiff, goes to drink, but only more
vapor flows out. He shakes it like a bottle of ketchup. Behind him,
an extravagantly bejewelled hand reaches out and taps his shoulder.

GENE (O.S.)
(flatly)
Your wish is my demand.

Tom whips around to find GENE GENIE (late 30s to 4000) in full
regalia, a blend of Hip Hop meets Old West. Tom YELPS and falls back
into the packing box while Gene stands listing woozily.

TOM
Who are you? What do you want?

GENE
Cocktail?

Extricating himself from the box as Gene yawns, Tom swipes the
stuffed marlin off the wall to defend himself.

TOM
Stay right there. I got this fish -
- and I do know Tae Bo!

GENE
No, it's cool.

TOM
Seriously, I'm not screwing around!

He takes a ballpark swing at Gene. The marlin sticks in mid-air as

Tom whirls around empty-handed.

GENE
Okay. I'm just still, you know, a
little woozy.

TOM
What?
 8.

GENE
My bottle?

Tom regards the suspended marlin, the bottle he still holds, the
outrageously dressed being in front of him.

TOM
What are you, like some kind of
genie?

GENE
I have been described in those
terms.

TOM
You expect me to believe that?

GENE
Believe whatever you want, I know
who I am.

TOM
Where's the turban and goofy
slippers?

GENE
You see a genie on TV and suddenly
you're an expert on Aramaic
mythology? You think we don't
yearn to break free and assert our
own unique style? Typically human.

TOM
Aren't you supposed to be in a
lamp?

GENE
And you're a rum snob, too?

TOM
You're a genie? Okay, my mind's a
little fried, I'm tired, I'm
brandishing a carp. Obviously,
this is some post-stress mourning
quarter-age-crisis thing --

GENE
What's your name?

TOM
Tom?

GENE
Tom, right. That's nice.
(checking things out)
(more)
 9.

I like what GENE(CONT'D)

you've done to the
place, so old world in a post-
modern revisionist kind of way.
Got some brown cubist thing going.
You just move in?

TOM
No, it was my dad's. He died
recently.

Gene SIGHS.

GENE
You do need a drink.

POOF!--two tall exotic drinks appear in the hands of TWO SUPER

MODELS. One rubs Gene's tummy, the other nibbles his ear.

Tom reacts. The marlin drops out of the air.

GENE (CONT'D)
No?

POOF!--the Models vanish but Gene retains one drink.

GENE (CONT'D)
I suppose you wanna skip the
pleasantries and get to it, Tom?

TOM
Shouldn't you be calling me
"master"?

GENE
We no longer use the "m" word.

TOM
Whatever. I get it. If you're a
genie, I got wishes coming, right?

Gene hoists himself onto the desk and gets comfortable. He has a
good long sip of his drink and SIGHS, regrettably.

GENE
Wish.

TOM
You're granting me only one wish?

GENE
Downsizing. There's only a finite
number of wishes left and they must
be managed accordingly.

TOM
You're kidding, right?
 10.

GENE
You've only got yourselves to
blame. "I wish my dot-com would
IPO and make a gazillion dollars
before I develop a viable business
plan." "I wish I had the abs of an
Olympic gymnast even though I'm
allergic to sit-ups." You guys
blew through wishes in the Nineties
like Brando blows through
creampuffs. The well's dry, Tom.
Why do you think Nasdaq tanked?

TOM
Where's that leave me?

GENE
Well, I just got e-mail from our
Grant A Wish Foundation -- it's a
nonprofit. I've been selected to
bestow a wish to three winners
selected in a random drawing.

TOM
But you said I have only one wish.

GENE
Exactly.

TOM
So I still get it.

GENE
Oh, sure. But in order to grant
you your wish you have to help
fulfill their wishes.

TOM
Throw 'em a lamp or bottle or
whatever you do, you're the genie.
I earned my wish.

GENE
Tom, you rubbed my bottle. If you
rub my belly you'd be earning it.
Rub my belly?
(off no interest)
C'mon, it's a win-win situation.
You get a wish, they get a wish.

TOM
What are we talking, specifically?
 11.

GENE
Three days, three wishes, three
wishers. After the wish of each is
fulfilled, you get your wish, but
you must figure out what their
wishes are first.

Tom eyeballs Gene hard, looking for a crack. Finally:

TOM
All right, I'll play along.

GENE
Then let's meet our contestants --
Flabazom.

A CRACKLING electric lasso appears. Gene swirls it expertly, snaps

it at the bottle Tom still holds and--POOF!--a giant genie home
entertainment system is roped out of it, complete with big screen TV.

The room erupts into flashy gameshow glitz and canned APPLAUSE. Gene
dons a glittering "tuxedo" and gameshow host schtick:

GENE (CONT'D)
Lucky wisher number one is Mr.
Anoop Dubey.

ON TV: A slick "Inside Story"-type segment airs on GNN (Genie News

Network) --

GENE (CONT'D)
A Scorpio with a love of naan bread
and fear of damp sponges, Anoop
owns Casa De India, a local eatery
blending traditional meals from his
immigrant past with exotic new
flavors inspired by the Latin-
American experience. Anoop is a
family man at heart, his beloved
wife and children both his greatest
joy and constant frustration.

ANOOP SEGMENT ON TV:

* ANOOP DUBEY presents Customers with "Casa de India" menus; in the

kitchen, he adds spice to whatever simmers in a pot; exotic dishes
are delivered to happy customers --

* In their apartment, Anoop wears a Dodger's cap and watches baseball

on TV, really getting into it; POONAM, his wife, gives him a kiss --

* At the restaurant, Anoop's daughter, NIDRA (19) has fallen asleep

doing the books; Anoop's son, PRANAY (17) arrives dressed in a hip-
hop waiter's uniform, over-sized pants hanging low to expose his
shorts. Exasperated, Anoop just shakes his head.
 12.

GENE (CONT'D)
(next intro)
Flabazom. And here's lucky wisher
number two, Dionne Barboza. A
typical pre-adolescent teenager,
Dionne enjoys eating fast food with
her only friends and trying to stop
her enormous feet from growing any
larger. Though already an
accomplished pianist, deep down
Dionne dreams of tickling a
different set of ivories.

DIONNE SEGMENT ON TV:

* DIONNE BARBOZA (14), a redhead with braces and brightly colored

beret, at her school locker listening to headphones. She watches the
Popular Girls strut past; Dionne with mom (RHONDA) and dad (BILL) at
some fast food joint, bored; Dionne in her bedroom, paints her toe
nails; wraps her feet with duct tape --

* Dionne at piano lessons, playing a solemn piece to the approval of

her instructor (PEEBLESNEEP), she rolls her eyes, uninspired --

* Dionne at a school dance, watches a COUPLE kiss. The Boy spies

her, winks, and Dionne looks away, embarrassed.

GENE (CONT'D)
(next intro)
Flabazom. And last but not least,
let's meet wisher number three, the
lovely and talented Margaret
Frazier. Margaret has a
predilection for fresh-plucked
daisies, enjoys pancakes for dinner
and the smell of newly sharpened
pencils. Single and an only child,
she runs her own business planning
parties and special events, and
adores both children and other
small animals alike.

MAGGIE SEGMENT ON TV:

* MAGGIE FRAZIER, late-20s, does a cartwheel in front of her newly

opened storefront as KADIJA HORNE snaps a picture; a sign reads:
"Maggie's Merry Party & Special Event Planning Perfectionists" --

* Maggie picks daisies, hands them to a baffled and somewhat

frightened ELDERLY MAN in a walker --

* An extravagant outside party; a band plays; Clowns and Acrobats

perform; and the 2-YEAR-OLD it's for plunks his cotton candy on
Maggie's head while his MOTHER beams proudly.
 13.

POOF!--The gameshow glitz vanishes leaving the wishers' faces freeze-

framed on TV. Gene's back in his regular costume as Tom goes over to
the screen and scrutinizes Maggie's radiant face.

TOM
This one? Savvy, single woman with
an entrepreneurial spirit,
teetering on the dark side of
thirty. Crunch it anyway you like,
what she wishes for is a man.

GENE
You can tell just like that?

TOM
Reading people is my job.

GENE
You do non-humans?

Tom inflates at the challenge, studies Gene closely.

TOM
Inherently carefree, fun-loving by
nature, you resent being expected
to conduct yourself as others
expect, but cringe at the thought
they may not marvel that you can.
You have purpose, power, a pinch of
panache, yet would rather slack
than assume the responsibility that
comes with exercising it... And
it's because of humans. Thousands
of years spent popping in and out
of a bottle just to grant some
greedy desire. You offer us a
field of dreams, we wish it paved
with gold. We're all about me and
you don't approve.

GENE
(a beat; doubtful)
Only a pinch of panache? You have
three days.

Gene tornadoes back into the bottle, along with his home
entertainment system leaving Tom standing in silence. He looks
inside the bottle, sees nothing. Heads into --

INT. BEACH BUNGALOW - LIVING ROOM - SAME

Nothing here but stacked boxes and wrapped furniture. Tom smirks it
off, sits in the big chair. He eyes the shadows. Falls asleep.
 14.

EXT. BEACH BUNGALOW - DAY

Tom's car still parked out front. A couple of JOGGERS pant along the
highway shoulder.

INT. BEACH BUNGALOW - DEN - DAY

Tom awakes in the chair looking like a man in need of coffee. He

winces at the kink in his neck, then reacts to what he sees --

REVEAL entire room packed into neatly stacked boxes. Tom gathers his
feet, knocks the Malibu bottle rolling.

TOM
...That's good rum.

There can be no other explanation. He grabs his tie and the photo
and heads out, all the while trying to stretch out the kink.

THE MALIBU BOTTLE

left rocking on the floor, its screwtop long gone.

INT. POWERSERVE - JULES' OFFICE - DAY

Young accountant JULES VARNAN answers the phone:

JULES
PowerServe, Jules speaking.

INT./EXT. TOM'S CAR - DAY (MOVING)

Tom on his cell, driving into the city. He's cleaned up and in a new
change of clothes.

TOM
Jules, you got a minute?

INTERCUT:

JULES
Hey boss, what's up?

TOM
I need you to double-check the
Snork! financials.

JULES
Our people have been over it a
dozen times.

TOM
This is something specific, under
the name Simmons.
 15.

JULES
(jots it down)
You got something?

TOM
Probably nothing, but I got a call
and --

A storefront catches Tom's eye and he does a double-take --

WHAT TOM SEES - STOREFRONT

The sign above it: "Maggie's Merry Party & Special Event Planning
Perfectionists," just as it was last night.

BACK TO SCENE

JULES
Tom? You okay?

TOM
Yeah, I...

JULES
Hey, been meaning to ask,
everything all right with your dad?
Haven't seen him in a while.

TOM
Listen, I gotta go. You're on it?

JULES
Like buffalo on a wing.

Tom ends the call and parks at a meter.

TOM
Buffalo on a wing?

EXT. MAGGIE'S MERRY SHOP - DAY

Stuck between two nondescript businesses in a bland cinder block

building, Maggie's is anything but. With colorful signage, awnings
and thriving potted ficus, time and attention have been spent where
money was not. Kneading his neck, Tom approaches cautiously.

INT. MAGGIE'S MERRY SHOP - DAY

Half cluttered retail space, half cozy client-planning space, it's

just the right balance of balloonage and business. Near the back,
Kadija and Maggie confer over a table of swatches and sample binders.
Tom enters, startles when the door makes a party favor NOISE.
 16.

MAGGIE
Good morning, c'mon in and join the
party. We'll be right with you.

He lingers uncomfortably at the front as they finish up.

KADIJA
But I thought Mrs. Grant said she
wanted the blue pinstriping.

MAGGIE
She did say that, but what she was
really trying to say is that she
doesn't, not really. It simply
hasn't occurred to her yet.

She fishes out a peach-colored linen and lays it on top of the

chocolate cake pictured, covering a blue pinstripe swatch.

MAGGIE (CONT'D)
See the difference? She says she
wants blue pinstripes when she
really wants warmth and sunshine.

KADIJA
I see it now. You are so good.

A high-five from Kadija and Maggie approaches Tom with vibrant

intensity and hand extended.

MAGGIE
Hi, I'm Maggie.

Tom just stares. Maggie has to grab his hand to shake it.

MAGGIE (CONT'D)
And you are?

TOM
Nice to meet you?

MAGGIE
You look like a man who could use
some assistance --

TOM
-- Yeah, things seem really crazy --

MAGGIE
-- Planning a special occasion?

TOM
Right. You own your own business
planning parties and special
events. You adore small children.
 17.

Maggie nods, takes Tom under arm, leads him past her "Wall of
Satisfaction," a montage of photos depicting happy clients, mostly
involving kids' birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, etc.

MAGGIE
That's right. Maggie's Merry Party
& Special Event Planning
Perfectionists will endeavor to
keep your event on target, on
budget, on time, every time you
need us. We can choose a site for
your event, facilitate all of your
catering requirements, arrange
special activities and games for
your guests, even provide live
entertainment. From birthdays to
bar mitzvahs, cakes to clowns,
decorations to decorum, we're here
to serve so you don't have to.

TOM
Looks like a lot of happy faces.

MAGGIE
Aren't they?

Tom looks around the room totally bewildered.

MAGGIE (CONT'D)
So you do have a party to plan?

Tom pulls himself together, digs in his pockets for a business card.

TOM
Yeah, yes, actually I do. A
company thing. I'm in charge. I
could really use some help.

Maggie glances at the card, tries to contain the excitement of what

she sees on it. She shakes his hand vigorously.

MAGGIE
Great. So, how about I give you a
call this afternoon and we'll work
out the details.

TOM
Great. That'd be great, Maggie.
Just...

MAGGIE
Great. So I'll call you on the
phone when I call.
 18.

TOM
Okay. I'll answer the call when
you call me on the phone.

MAGGIE
Okay.

Tom retrieves his hand and exits. Maggie stands there gazing at his
card as Kadija approaches with a bundle of balloons.

KADIJA
He was cute. Bachelor theme party?

MAGGIE
I don't think so...

She hands over the card. Kadija's eyes pop out.

KADIJA
PowerServe Software? This is the
one we've been waiting for, girl.
This'll buy us at least six months.
What do they want us to do?

MAGGIE
He didn't say. All I know is
whatever it is, we're going to make
it perfectious -- and I don't care
if perfectious isn't a word, it
should be. Plus I forgot to ask.

KADIJA
Honey, it don't matter if it's the
opening of a new elevator, it's who
they are that's gonna get you out
of ready-made.

Maggie heads for the phone.

MAGGIE
I have to call my mother.

EXT. POWERSERVE SOFTWARE - DAY - ESTABLISHING

A monolithic building in an expansive office park.

INT. POWERSERVE - EXECUTIVE LOBBY - DAY

Downplayed corporate and all business-casual, except for the

receptionist, CINDY, formal in her navy pantsuit. Tom strolls in
with his leather Tumi.

CINDY
Good morning, Tom.
 19.

Under which Amanda appears with a sheaf of papers.

AMANDA
So good of you to show up today.

WITH TOM AND AMANDA

As they make their way down the hall, Tom puts on a brave face,
nodding good-naturedly to everyone they pass.

TOM
I show up to work everyday, Amanda.
It's why Peter and I started this
company, so I'd have a place to go
each morning when I wake up.

AMANDA
And I thought you just wanted an
excuse to be near me. Spare me a
little alone time?

TOM
I'm sure we can find a few leftover
candles here somewhere.

They head into --

TOM'S OFFICE

Spartan but comfortable. Amanda sits as Tom pulls the Yellow Pages
out of a drawer. She knits her brow, serious.

AMANDA
Tom, you're starting to worry me --
and Peter.

TOM
Guess candles are out.

AMANDA
What is going on with you?

Under which Tom flips through the phone book, entirely focused and
failing to look up at Amanda.

TOM
What's going on, Amanda, is I seem
to be the only person in this
company unwilling to accept
Snork!'s claims at face value.

AMANDA
Give me some credit, okay? You
went into that meeting just itching
to lift your leg and spray.
(more)
 20.
AMANDA(CONT'D)
This is about loss of autonomy and
your ego -- What are you looking
for?

TOM
A place to eat. I may be hungry
after I finish spraying all the
neighborhood fire hydrants.

THE YELLOW PAGES

Under Restaurants, Indian: Casa De India

BACK TO SCENE

Tom rips the page out and pockets it. He regards Amanda fully.

TOM
Clearly I don't seem to know what
you want anymore, so tell me.

AMANDA
This merger's good for all of us.
You're either on the boat or you're
not.

TOM
And you've decided I'm not.

AMANDA
Your call, not mine. I'm throwing
a preserver, now you gotta grab it.

Tom just stares at her, stone-faced.

AMANDA (CONT'D)
Okay, fine. The signing party is
Friday. This is what the event
planners had come up with.

She sets the sheaf of documents on his desk. Tom's swipes it up.

TOM
Where we at?

AMANDA
Pretty much set top to bottom --
Barbarella Pavrotia's performing,
the media's primed, all you have to
do is make a few calls and ensure
things happen as planned. So you
with me?

TOM
That's what I'd hoped to hear.
 21.

Before Amanda can respond, PETER MULLIGAN raps at the open door, fit
and sunny, but a little awkward in his skin.

PETER
Hey, you two. Don't mean to
interrupt --

AMANDA
Not at all, I was just bringing Tom
up to speed on the party.

PETER
Thanks for helping out with that,
Tom, really. I know you still have
reservations.

TOM
We all jump in where we can.

PETER
Oh, so Amanda told you about the
"Light Your Fire" empowerment
retreat we attended last weekend in
Sonoma.

TOM
No, actually she didn't.

PETER
That was their motto. "Jump in
where you can."

AMANDA
Peter jumped in and ran barefoot
through burning coals.

PETER
And let me tell you, for those few
seconds, time stood still and I
became one with nature and all the
forces in the universe.

TOM
With one force in particular,
apparently.

AMANDA
Well, you know how nature abhors a
vacuum -- or is it to vacuum?
(to Peter)
We've got the Quarterline meeting.

TOM
Quarterline? When'd that happen?
 22.

AMANDA
Just their network guys. No need
for you to be there.

Tom might as well have been slapped in the face. Too stung to
respond, he can't help but notice the white orthopedic shoes Peter
wears. By the measured steps he takes exiting, his feet must be
pretty blistered. Amanda flashes a smile --

AMANDA (CONT'D)
Big mwah. Thanks.

-- and closes the door behind her. Gene stands behind it wearing
black leather pants and a crop top with two BIKER BABES.

GENE
I see what you're wishing.

TOM
You are real.

GENE
Got that whole I'm-a-woman-with-
power-who-likes-the-power-of-being-
the-woman-you-want thing happening.

TOM
A laser-guided smart bomb is what
she is. A good partner.

GENE
Seeing she doesn't seem to have her
sights on you right now, you think
maybe I might...?

TOM
No, I don't think maybe you might.

Tom puts his back to Gene and looks out the window, kneading his kink
and fuming. The intercom BUZZES.

CINDY
(on com)
Tom, you've got the IDT conference
call in five... Meeting with
Wallach after... Then the HMO
group.

TOM
(wearily)
Got it, Cindy. Thanks.

Gene sidles up behind him, the abandoned Babes pout.

 23.

GENE
Tom, forget about the girl right
now. Think of the other things you
can wish for when we're done, fame,
fortune, fabulous hair --

TOM
(quietly)
What I wish is I were the man I was
two weeks ago. Then there'd be no
question about the girl.

GENE
There's always a question about the
girl. It's why they're shaped like
that.

Tom turns to respond, but Gene and the Babes have vanished.

CINDY
(on com)
Tom, there's a Maggie Frazier on
the line. Says it's urgent, but
IDT's waiting.

TOM
Tell her I'll call her back in a
couple hours and put IDT through.

He cracks open his laptop and settles in uncomfortably for the long
haul. Still, he can't quite assuage this damn kink.

INT. SNORK! - BREAK ROOM - DAY

A coffee pot CRACKLES on the warmer. A hand with many Band-Aids on

its fingertips pulls it off. Alvinator scowls at the black gunk
scalded to the pot's bottom.

ALVINATOR
Would it kill anybody to just once
make a new pot of coffee for the
next person? Geez Loueez.

He scrubs out the pot as a couple of SNORK! EMPLOYEES hangout nearby,

sipping from their filled mugs.

SNORK! EMPLOYEE #1
I heard our shares are going to go
stratospheric with the PowerServe
deal. Even the janitor's gonna be
worth a million.

They CLINK their mugs in toast, Alvinator's dark cloud has no impact
on their sunny day. He's intent only on making coffee.
 24.

SNORK! EMPLOYEE #2
Hey, you were here for the startup,
you got the stock options. Buy
yourself a barista to make the
coffee.

SNORK! EMPLOYEE #1
No, he's one of those that cashed
out early. What was it? "A check
in hand is better than ten thousand
shares up the tush."

They barely contain themselves as Alvinator grabs his empty cup and
stalks out. They CLINK mugs again.

INT. POWERSERVE - EXECUTIVE LOBBY - DAY

Cindy on her headset on, levels a withering look O.S. and stabs a
button on the PBX.

CINDY
Tom? Maggie Frazier for you.

TOM'S OFFICE

Tom on his computer. Sleeves rolled up, Red Bull in his hand.

TOM
Right, party girl. Put her
through.

CINDY
(on com)
No, I mean she's here to see you.

MAGGIE
(on com)
I don't have an appointment, which
has been made very clear to me,
thank you.

Tom can't help but smile at that.

TOM
You eaten, Maggie?

EXT. RESTAURANT ROW - DAY

Maggie carries her portfolio while Tom leads them down a busy
sidewalk lined by eclectic eateries.

MAGGIE
Party girl?
 25.

TOM
I meant it as in party planner, as
in a consummate professional.

MAGGIE
I know, I'm sorry I just showed up,
but you said you'd call me back and
I trust when people say they're
going to do something --

TOM
-- I was --

MAGGIE
-- Then when you didn't, it
occurred to me that the phone just
wouldn't do anyway --

Tom brings them to a stop, directly outside Casa De India.

TOM
Do you like Indian food?

MAGGIE
Of course.

Tom opens the door.

INT. CASA DE INDIA - DAY

Already seated, scanning the menu, Tom's got water, Maggie, tea. Tom
thoughtlessly kneads his neck as Pranay arrives to take their order,
instantly gravitating to Maggie like the flirt that he is.

PRANAY
Good afternoon, almost evening.
I'm Pranay at your service. Do you
see what you like?

MAGGIE
It's so hard to choose. I'll have
the lamb saagwala, and an order of
raita, and -- You like naan?

TOM
Never met one I didn't.

MAGGIE
And an order of naan.

PRANAY
Excellent. The lady does like what
she sees.
 26.

MAGGIE
And some murg soup to start,
please.

PRANAY
Delicious. And for you, sir?

TOM
Chicken curry, please. And is the
proprietor of your fine
establishment here by chance?

PRANAY
My father, yes. I can get him --

TOM
No, I just, ah, always like to ask.

Pranay gives him a look, then turns his attention back to Maggie. He
touches the back of her hand, ever so gently. Tom notices.

PRANAY
And how is your tea, senorita?

MAGGIE
Wonderful, thank you.

Pranay collects their menus then, quite obvious, winks at Maggie and
flashes his suave smile before trotting off.

TOM
Can you believe that?

MAGGIE
It's sweet of you to get ornery
about it, but I'm not offended.

TOM
Well, I am.

MAGGIE
I'm sure he thinks you're cute,
too.

TOM
You think? I'm not so sure.

MAGGIE
Assuming Pranay hails from a
traditional Hindu upbringing, he's
aware that Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva,
many of their most supreme gods
weren't even realized until that
defining moment when they first
interacted with a woman.
 27.

TOM
At the end of the day, who is?

MAGGIE
Exactly, so it stands to reason a
young man such as he might feel
compelled to validate his sense of
spiritual identity in a similar
fashion. I mean, think about it.
It was the Tantrics, afterall, who
believed that true Buddhahood can
only be found in the vulva.
(off silence)
More information than you needed?

TOM
No, no, maybe you're right, or --

MAGGIE
Yes?

TOM
Maybe he just wants to rub his
Brahna against your Vishnu.

Maggie's eyes flash wide, but she can't help but crack up.

MAGGIE
He's much too young and unaware of
what matters when courting a woman
with expectations of what he might
one day become.

TOM
What might that be, exactly?

MAGGIE
Why, a man, of course.

With this, last night's conclusion has been succinctly corroborated.

Tom finally relaxes.

TOM
Of course. They're all the rave in
the mosh pit. I'm hoping to become
one myself one day.

MAGGIE
Of that, I have no doubt.

Pranay arrives with the food.

PRANAY
Here you go. Chicken curry for
you. And especially for you...
 28.

He places Maggie's many plates in front of her and she digs right in.
Pranay lingers.

MAGGIE
Oh my god, this is wonderful.

Tom agrees as Anoop approaches.

ANOOP
Hello, hello, welcome, thank you
for coming. How is everything?

PRANAY
This is my father, Anoop Dubey.

TOM
Tom Hanlin. Great place you got
here.

ANOOP
Hello, yes, thank you.

MAGGIE
This raita is excellent, Anoop.
Homemade yogurt, yes? And the
saagwala! I haven't tasted mutton
this good outside of New Delhi.
You used fresh fenugreek and if I'm
not mistaken, ground and toasted
the cardamom, didn't you?

ANOOP
Yes, myself. The old fashioned
way, none of these modern mixes.

MAGGIE
Everywhere you go, it's processed
powder. What's up with that? But
this is resplendent.

ANOOP
Yes, what is up? It is
resplendent, thank you -- Wait, you
must try my latest creations.

Anoop scrambles into the kitchen as Pranay flashes his "suavy" smile
and heads off to another table.

TOM
I think you've got another fan.

Maggie grins, savoring another mouthful. Anoop returns with a tray

load of several other dishes.
 29.

ANOOP
Here, yes. You must try this. On
the house. I call it bhunita.

MAGGIE
Oh, like a little bhunna burrito.

TOM
Some Indian-Mexican fusion thing?

ANOOP
Fusion implies a subtle blending of
different flavors. This is more
like...

MAGGIE
Mmm, a collision.

ANOOP
Like a collision. Exactly. The
spices of east and southwest
collide into an explosion of...

Maggie offers Tom a bite, which he takes.

TOM
Hari ole' --

ANOOP
Hari ole', yes. I call this one
tacurry --

MAGGIE
Let me guess, a curry taco?

ANOOP
No. It is a taco curry. One
should not confuse one with the
other. You like?

Maggie bites into it, loves it.

MAGGIE
Anoop, it's madness.

ANOOP
Yes, it is madness.

Anoop sits to serve her another bite as Tom quietly checks out the
restaurant for the first time, notices the odd sombrero and elephant
pinatas. Nidra nods off at the cash register.

TOM
You're a regular Iron Chef, Anoop.
Why isn't this stuff on the menu?
 30.

ANOOP
People like traditional, but
someday they will know there is
more to Indian food than missing
cow.

TOM
I'm sure they will.

He goes back to kneading his neck. He's got Anoop sussed out.

EXT. CASA DE INDIA - DAY

Tom and Maggie emerge stuffed. They stroll up the sidewalk.

MAGGIE
I think I'm going to explode.

TOM
So about the thing --

MAGGIE
Yes, the thing.

TOM
It's Saturday night at the Abbey.

MAGGIE
Sounds pretty black tie on pretty
short notice.

TOM
Most of the details are in place.
Should be a no-brainer --

MAGGIE
-- No-brainer, thank you not --

TOM
-- For someone of your considerable
expertise, I was going to add.

Under which Dionne Barboza slams out of "Piano Tutelage by

Peeblesneep," her mother on her tail.

RHONDA
Dionne, you stop this right now.

DIONNE
Stop this what right now? My
lessons? Gladly. Thought you'd
never ask.

RHONDA
Watch where you're going --
 31.

Dionne nearly plows into Tom and Maggie. Tom reacts.

She stomps off to the car, leaving her mother exasperated.

RHONDA (CONT'D)
I'm sorry. Kids today.

TOM
Kids every day.

RHONDA
You're telling me.

She climbs into the car where Dionne sits pouting. Just before they
pull away, the electric windows go down.

RHONDA (CONT'D)
I just wish I didn't have to take
anymore stupid lessons from him.

A grin parts Tom's face. He heads off, hurriedly.

TOM
Listen, Maggie, I gotta go. Drop
by the office tomorrow morning and
we'll iron out the wrinkles.

He's already several yards away from her and gaining speed. Maggie
seems unsure whether to stay put or chase after.

MAGGIE
Do I need to make an appointment?

WITH TOM

nearly running.

TOM
No.

ON MAGGIE

MAGGIE
Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then --
Thank you!

TOM (O.S.)
Thank you!

She stands there a moment, puzzled. She shrugs her shoulders --

MAGGIE
Too many beans in the bhunita?