Yesterday when I woke up, I immediately go to her, and the usual thing is, to kiss her at her forehead. But I was shockedto feel her skin starting to get dry and cold. My Ate gave her foods, honey and sugar, but she refused to eat and taste anyof them. I had the same feeling when I’m losing my other pets (Baruk, Buruka, Wady, Panget, Ox, Nanno, Kwatog, and theyoungest puppy we had). And I have fears of loosing Kikay, because I know I will never have and find someone like heragain.It was 3:45 pm when I left our house for school. I went to kikay and kissed her before I leave, I tell her how much I loveher and ask her to please stay until I get back home. She looked at me, and maybe that’s her way of saying
“Yes Len, Iwill wait for you.”
Knowing that she was waiting for us, trusting us to make the right decisions was an enormous and terrifying responsibility. Iheld her hand and I wondered if she knew my struggle. Did she feel my heart breaking? Was she begging me to end herpain? In my heart, I believe she knew how much we loved her and knew we would never let her suffer.It was 8:30pm when I went home. Mamag (our other pet) is looking at me as if asking me questions. I entered our gateslowly. I was so scared. My knees were shaking and I’m hesitating to go near Kikay’s house. My Ate told me not to go nearher again, because she’s starting to frenzy.Listening Kikay’s moan makes my heart breaks so much. I didn’t eat much last night, because I can’t imagine myself enjoying the meal while Kikay is there, suffering and struggling for death. Our mother couldn’t pay much attention to whatshe’s watching. We were just listening to Kikay. We wanted to help her but we didn’t know what to do.It was 2:00 in the morning when I heard her last moan and cry. All the dogs of our neighbours also barks, I think it wastheir way of showing care and sympathy for their peer. I asked God why is He allowing Kikay to suffer if He’ll sure to takeher life soon? Does He really want her to suffer that much? Does He really want us to feel the pain for loosing Kikay? Wealso asked God to please stop it. If He’s going to take Kikay’s life, then go! Do it now. Do it quick! And Kikay’s life has ended. The pain of her loss is so great; you wonder why you would ever have a pet when chances areyou will outlive them. A pet means you will grieve again and again as you have to say goodbye.