Reasons to Dump Your Disney Prince
By Kathleen Fitzgerald
The Prince (“Snow White”)
Falling in love with a raven-haired maidsimply because she sings nicely whileperforming manual labor does not bode wellfor your future interactions with Mexicanhousekeepers.
The Prince (“Cinderella”)
Over/under odds that this one’s really a drugallegory. Poor girl spends most of her teenyears down on her knees working for “the man.” At some point, homegirl befriends fellowhoodrats (mice), finds a fairy godmother togive her slippers made of “glass”(methamphetamine), and convinces an older manof unearned wealth (pimp) to take care of her.Where to begin …
The Beast (“Beauty and the Beast”)
Unless you’re a furry, there’s not much pointto spending time with a guy who looks like Alf’s taller, fatter, angrier uncle … and whothrows snowballs like a little girl.