Parenting 2.

0:
How to Help Parents
with Digital Issues and
Fears
 Parenting 2.0:
How to Help Parents
with Digital Issues and Fears
Rita Oates, PhD
Formerly ed tech director,
Miami-Dade County Public Schools
VP, Education Markets, ePals Inc.
 Session description
• Did your mama talk to you about sexting,
cyberbullying, and watching what you post on
Facebook? Parents today have a whole new set of
challenges and issues, raised by technology at
school and home. Learn how you can help parents
understand the real issues, fears and challenges
and support them in being great parents in a 2.0
world. Resources for schools and families will be
shared, and the core presentation is based on
presentations at school PTA meetings, Wired
Safety and Wired Moms.
 What are your biggest fears
for your child in this wired world?
 What are your biggest fears
for your child in this wired world?
1. Predators meet my child online and do something
awful
2. My credit card number is stolen after my child buys
something (without my permission)
3. My child shares family information with strangers
4. My child sees graphic porn
5. My child sees gruesome photos
6. My child takes and shares an indecent photo
7. Info on my child will create a problem when he’s older
8. Other things?
 Parent Fears in Australia
• Parents’ main concerns about their children using
the internet:
– coming into contact with sexually explicit material
(89%)
– being targeted by online predators (86%)
– being infected by viruses and spyware (86%)
• Children are naive to internet dangers
• Parents don’t possess technological know how to
implement effective safety measures
- June 2010
 Aussie Kids do More than
Parents Realize Online
32% have seen images of naked people
29% have:
– seen violent images
– played games rated MA15+
– been contacted by someone they don’t know
17% have been asked for personal details
14% have been teased or bullied online
7% have had someone post pictures or videos without their
permission
 Organizations Exist to Help
• PTA
• Wired Safety
• Wired Moms: Taking back the Net!
– Safeguarding all kids in cyberspace
• Teen Angels and Tween Angels
• Groups Study Internet Safety, Suggest Policy
• Parental settings on AOL, Internet Explorer,
Cable
• Others from list compiled by CTAP4
 Annotated Resources
• June 2010 report includes annotated sites
about internet safety
• http://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OST
WG_Final_Report_060410.pdf
• Pages 34-49
 Parent Education
• Provide resources
• Work with PTA and other parent groups
• Encourage parental involvement at home
http://www.wiredsafety.org
Task Force Report from
Harvard
 Main Charge for Task Force

• Assess online
dangers to children
• Find scalable
technological
solutions to keep
children safe
• Focus on age
verification for
minors
Filters are NOT the whole story
• Role-based computing
– Teacher
– Parent
– Student
• Under 13
• Older than 13
– Other trusted adult
SchoolMail365 Policies: NYC DOE
Policies governing the ability to discover and email groups of individuals
le SchoolMail 365
Communication Policy
Policies Teachers Moderators Students Parents

Teachers can email with: In same district In same school In same class In same school

Moderators can email with: In same school In same school In same school In same school

Parents can email with: In same school In same school In same Family None

Students in grades >=6 can email with: In same school In same school In same school In same Family

Students in grades < 6 can email with: In same school In same school In same grade In same Family

Email Moderation, Monitoring and Filtering Policies

All Media
Role Constraints External Access All Incoming All Outgoing Stop Word
Attachments Attachments
System Admin   Internet
School Admin   Internet
Teacher   Internet N/A for Adult Roles
Moderator   Internet
Parent   NYC Domain Only
Student Grade >= 6 NYC Domain Only Off Off Moderate Off Monitor
Student Grade <6 NYC Domain Only Monitor Monitor Moderate Off Moderate
 Task Force Major Risk Findings
• Public perception of
predators and
victims is not
accurate
• Only about 3% of
teens are at risk from
predators
• Significant threat from
peer harassment and
cyberbullying
• Need for further study
 To Catch a Predator says…
• Predators
– Don’t hide age
– Don’t hide purpose • The “Victim”
– Don’t even have to – Risk taker
push buttons – Teen in adult chat
room (Not a social
network)
– Willing to talk about
sex
– More than willingly to
meet for sex
– Just as likely to be at
risk off-line
 What the Task Force Found
• Most Predators • Most Victims
– Don’t hide age – Risk takers
– Don’t hide purpose – Troubled teens
– Do know how to push – Broken homes or little
the right buttons parental involvement
– Go willingly to
meetings
– Just as likely to be at
risk off-line
 A Different Perception

Example of video that tells a story to teach about Cyberbullying

 Cyberbullying
• Chat, IM and email are most
commonly used to bully
• ALL of these are included in
social networks
• Initial reactions are
frustration, anger, sadness
• Progressive reactions are
• 30-85% victimized anxiety, fear, physical
• 5% reported to illness, absenteeism,
parents violence, or suicide
• About 50% tell friends • Schools using moderated
communication tools help
decrease bullying
http://www.teenangels.org
Stop Cyberbullying Toolkit
 Unveiled in Feb. 2009
• www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html
• Megan’s Pledge
• Recommendation to schools:
The school's acceptable use policy can
reserve the right to discipline the student for
actions taken off-campus if they are
intended to have an effect on a student or
they adversely affect the safety and well-
being of student while in school. This
makes it a contractual, not a constitutional,
issue.
First Amendment Rights of free speech are
not then at risk.
WiredSafety Videos and Animations
 Facebook and Other General
Market Social Networks
• Check the privacy settings
• When children are grade 5 or older, do it
together
• “Google” yourself and your child and see
what is said
• Apply basic etiquette to the new medium
• Once posted, it’s always available
– Wayback site…shows internet pages on
previous days…NOTHING is ever really
deleted from the Internet
 Social Learning Networks
• Companies in the education market have
designed social networks that are:
– Private
– Safe
– Observe CIPA and FERPA
– Encourage the best part of social networking
– Protect students and teachers from the problems of
general market tools NOT designed for education
• ePals LearningSpace is one example
Sexting…cell phones and cameras
• Images can be quickly copied and sent to
many people
• Can’t really ever erase an image
• Text messages can be retrieved…as Gov.
of SC and Tiger found out
• Felony  sex offender at age 18
• Don’t say it, don’t send it unless
you would be willing to have it on
the 6 PM news
Video for Students and Parents
• A Geeky Momma's Blog by Lee Kolbert
• http://www.leekolbert.com/2011/01/lesson-
to-share-and-then-create.html

• from a blog by a Palm Beach Co. teacher

in Boca Raton, Florida
• Common Craft video to use with students
and parents
Common Craft: Protecting
Reputations Online
 TRUSTe certification:
Child Privacy
Adobe Apple
Microsoft Cisco
Electronic Arts

Education-focused sites
with TRUSTe certification
Cahootie Kidzrocket
Brightstorm Leafcutter
Course Hero Leapfrog
Disney Internet Schoolwires
Education Planet Thinkquest
ePals Togetherville
GoTrybe Vantage Learning
What Would You Like to
Suggest to Parents?
 Parenting Guidelines
• Know what your children are doing
• Work with them to discuss limits,
responsibilities
• Talk about problems from the news, from
work, from others (without revealing a
neighbor’s name)
 Setting Limits for Children
• What happens if they cross the line?
– Lose cell phone for a month? A semester?
– Get additional chores?
• Can you enforce the punishment? Be consistent.
– Some kids will push the limits; others observe and
don’t.
– Ask kids to suggest the guidelines and punishments;
they may actually be tougher on themselves than you
would be!
– Talk with others and decide what the “community” does
and what you will do.
– Discuss with your children. Their actions have
consequences!
– You are the parent. You pay the bills. You can see
what they are doing!
 Increase Communication with
Distant Relatives and Friends
• Facebook friends with Grandma, Aunt Tilly
– Relationships and sharing between teens and
distant grandparents is becoming a trend
• Encourage appropriate communication
with known individuals, not “I’m going to
have a thousand friends!”
 Frightening Things for Parents
• Not admitted to college…because daughter
emailed application from
hotsexxxychick@aol.com
• Applied for job, but Facebook page shows using
illegal substance, bragging about stealing
something from another employer, etc. ….and
employers ARE checking up on people every
way they can today
• Embarrassing or untrue photos/videos posted
and “go viral”
 Parenting 2.0 in a Wired World
• Enough is enough…keep time on digital
activities in balance with sports, scouts,
other activities
• Caution kids that written communications
don’t have the “cues” from face-to-face
communication.
– Think about it, read it out loud before sending.
– Save it and wait a while if you aren’t sure
about it.
• Invite your children to keep you informed
…they will surprise you!
 Parenting 2.0 in a Wired World
• Spend Some Time with WiredSafety
– Look at the Flash videos
– Share video stories with your children
and talk about them
• Children want to know what you think and
watch how you act!
• Be an informed parent
• Model behaviors you wish them to use
 Benefits of Online World are
Terrific!
• More teens and ‘tweens are creating
content and connecting online for
educational benefits, offering schools new
opportunities to use technology
– National School Boards Association Study
• Students report that one of the most
common topics of conversation on the
social networking scene is education
 Students Report…
• They are spending almost as much time using
social networking services and Web sites as
they spend watching television.
• Among teens who use social networking sites,
that amounts to:
– About 9 hours a week online
– 10 hours a week watching television
– A decrease in amount of TV watching (which is
passive) and an increase in communication online
(which is active)
 Permission granted to use
these slides with others
This session’s slides are uploaded to
www.scribd.com under “Rita Oates” as
author.

Contact information:
Rita Oates
roates@corp.epals.com
Twitter: @ritaoates