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Tap into Your Inner Phoenix to

Kick any Habit

(And get what you want in return)

By Kaarin Alisa
Copyright © 2007
Welcome Phoenix!
Yes!

You are a phoenix, or rather, there is a phoenix inside you, and you can
unleash your phoenix to help you make big and lasting changes in your life if
that is your desire! This special report will concentrate on overcoming bad
habits. More information about what your inner phoenix can do for you is
available at http://www.kaarinalisa.com.

Everyone has habits. Some habits are good for you, like brushing your teeth
regularly. Other habits are not so good, like procrastinating paying your bills
until they are overdue!

In this special report, I will reveal to you some simple strategies for kicking
any habit you wish to eliminate by tapping into your inner phoenix and simply
paying attention.

These powerful techniques have been used by countless people to transform


their lives for the better. They can help you too!

P.S. Throughout this report I refer to your phoenix as she. Please do not
be offended if you are a man. Just substitute the word he for she and keep
going! After all, you really do have both male and female aspects to your
being whether you know it yet or not! *smile*

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 2 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Distribution

You may re-distribute this special report in its entirety and without change
as long as you give it freely and do not charge money in exchange. The
author, Kaarin Alisa, holds the copyright on this material and retains all
rights and privileges thereof.

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 3 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


You and the Phoenix

You may have heard of the ancient Egyptian Phoenix; a magical, mythical bird
that regenerates itself from the ashes of its own funeral pyre. Or perhaps
you have heard of Feng Huang; the Chinese Phoenix that appears only in
times of prosperity and brings peace, longevity, and grace. Perhaps you have
heard of any of the other phoenixes mentioned in the folklore of almost
every ancient culture on earth. Even the wildly popular Harry Potter books
written by J. K. Rowling feature a phoenix whose tears can heal the most
severe maladies.

The Phoenix that resides within you is none of these, but does share some of
their characteristics. Among other things, your phoenix is a master of many
essential life traits, such as perseverance, gratitude, forgiveness, thought,
action, intention, and observation. If you spend the time to find and unleash
your inner phoenix, you will have access to life tools that will help you
transform your life for the better.

So I challenge you. Right now, today, as you are reading this report,
acknowledge your inner phoenix. Bow to her, ask for her help, and make
ready to pay attention to your life and, yes…

…to soar!

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 4 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Habits
Oh my!

We all have habits. Habits are very important to living a good and effective
life. Many people think of habits only as bad things they need to overcome.
But habits are simply the unconscious things we do without having to apply
conscious thought to do them.

Here's an example:

Remember when you first learned to drive a car? You sat down in the
driver's seat and had no idea what to do first. Do you fasten your
seatbelt? Do you put the key in the ignition? Do you adjust the
mirrors? The list of things you could do first goes on and on. And the
list gets much longer as soon as you put your foot on the gas pedal and
begin to move the vehicle!

If you had to think about everything on that list every time you got
behind the wheel, you would never get out of your driveway, let alone
go anywhere else! But by the time you got your driver's license, most
of these things had become habits. I know when I sit down behind
the wheel, I put the key in the ignition, fasten my seatbelt, check the
mirrors, turn the ignition key, check the gas level, pop on the radio,
adjust the environmental controls, and put the car in gear and I don't
even think about what I'm doing until I am ready to pull out into
traffic. I don't think about these things, they just all happen as a
result of sitting down in the driver's seat. My sub-conscious mind has
been programmed to do it all for me.

This is a good example of a set of habits that serve life. They make life
more efficient. Without good habits like this everything you do would be
harder. And of course you really want things to be easier, not harder!

Celebrate habits for their ability to help you. Be grateful for your sub-
conscious mind and its ability to learn and deploy actions for you. What a
marvelous mechanism you have to create and sustain habits: good habits and
bad habits!

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Bad Habits
While your sub-conscious mind is busy creating habits to make your life work
better, it does not have the ability to distinguish between habits that serve
you and habits that detract from the life you truly want. Your sub-conscious
will simply create a habit out of anything you do on a regular basis.

This is good news and bad news! The good news is that if you want to
establish a habit, all you have to do it perform the action associated with
the habit over and over until it becomes a pattern. The bad news is that if
you perform an action over and over again it will become a habit!

Simply performing an action over and over will create a subconscious pattern
to do it more often. The more you perform the action, the more ingrained
the habit will become.

NOTICE: BAD H A B IT S A R E S I M P L Y A C T I O N S Y O U H A V E
P E R F O R M E D T I M E A N D T I M E A G A I N T HA T N O L O N G E R
SERVE YOU.

Now, here is the rub! Once a habit is established, especially if that habit
has been years in the making, it can take quite a lot of effort to abandon it.
In fact, if all you are trying to do is abandon a long-standing habit, you may
indeed fail. The sub-conscious mind only deals with things in the positive. If
you concentrate on not doing a thing, the thing itself is all the sub-conscious
mind will recognize and the habit will stay firmly entrenched in your life.
What a sad fact!

This is where your inner phoenix comes into the picture. Your phoenix knows
how to take action. Your phoenix is a master of action. If you let your inner
phoenix guide you, you will have the ability to supplant any habitual action
with a new action that serves you better.

Your phoenix knows this by paying attention!

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 6 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Paying Attention
With some focused attention on any area of your life you can create good
habits to support the life you desire.

With attention, you have choices. Without it, you are living life on autopilot.
Sometimes that is okay. But more often than not, you are missing out on an
opportunity to make conscious choices.

The majority of people I have worked with do not pay attention to most of
their life. They may pay attention to one or two aspects of their life, but
not to their entire life. They let habits run most of their days and only pay
attention to their children or their jobs or their coveted desires.

But paying attention to your life is the only opportunity you have to
understand what it is you are currently doing. It also helps you discern if
the habits you have right now are helping or hindering your life.

Let's begin!

To begin the process of paying attention to your life just ask yourself
regularly throughout the day, 'What am I doing now?' Focus on the actions
you are taking, including the actions of thought. Don't worry yet about why
you are taking these actions, just observe yourself.

Remember, observation is neutral. Observation has no judgment. Your inner


phoenix is a master at observation. Your phoenix always knows what she is
doing, even if what she is doing is nothing. I'm guessing, however, that if
you truly pay attention you will find that you are rarely, if ever, doing
nothing!

Here's an example of doing nothing:

You come home from a hard day at the office. After changing out of
your work clothes and greeting others who live with you, or checking
your voice mail and e-mail, you plop down on the couch, grab the
remote, and turn on the TV.

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Then the phone rings. It turns out to be your best friend and when
she asks you what you are doing, you say, "Nothing."

Excuse me while I chuckle, but you were far from doing nothing.

Let me ask your phoenix here… what were you doing? Ahhhh... I see… Here
is what your phoenix said.

You were:

ƒ Watching TV
ƒ Trying to relax
ƒ Worrying about work tomorrow
ƒ Wondering if the plans you have for the weekend are the ones you
want
ƒ Wondering what is for dinner
ƒ Realizing your feet hurt
ƒ Trying to remember if you saw this program before
ƒ Ignoring the chores you have to do
ƒ Listening to the neighbor's dog bark… again
ƒ …

See what I mean? Were you really doing nothing?

NOTICE: BECOMING AWARE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING, GIVES


YOU THE POWER TO CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE DOING!

It is too overwhelming to perform this exercise all day long. You would get
nothing else done! But try it at intervals. Perhaps once every hour,
whatever interval doesn't seem overwhelming to start. Most people find
this exercise fun and very, very enlightening!

Once you learn how to pay attention to what you are currently doing, you can
begin to figure out if what you are currently doing is what you really want to
do. Making these changes and creating new habits can only be accomplished
with action.

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 8 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Action
The truth is that every habit you have right now was built from actions you
took to give yourself what you wanted at the moment you performed them.

That's right!

NOTICE: EVERY HABIT YOU HAVE NOW SERVED YOU WELL WHEN
I T W A S E S T A B L I S HE D !

Let's look at this example:

Once upon a time, you wore braces on your teeth. Of course you
wanted your teeth to be straight and your smile to look great for the
rest of your life. But while you wore those braces, you were very
self-conscious about how you looked. You got into a habit of covering
your mouth with your hand every time you smiled or laughed.

At first this worked very well. It made you feel less self-conscious by
concealing the blemish of the braces from full view of the world. But
you don't have those braces any more and this habit doesn't work so
well.

Now you are more interested in projecting a powerful image of a


person who is confident. Covering your mouth when you smile or laugh
does just the opposite; it tells those around you that you are less than
happy with your appearance and behavior.

You can see here though, that this habit served you when it was established.
It gave you what you wanted at the time. Just because you think you don't
want that same thing now is not enough of an action for the habit to
disappear.

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 9 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


NOTICE: THOUGHT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR CHANGE, BUT IT IS
N O T E N O U G H T O M A K E T HE C H A N G E . C HA N G E ONLY OCCURS
WHEN THOUGHT IS FOLLOWED BY A C T IO N .

Action is a must-do, but only if you are clear on what action to take.
Otherwise, the actions you take will bring you mixed results.

You can only form clear sets of action by becoming clear about what it is you
want.

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 10 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


What You Want
Knowing what you want is not always clear. Knowing what you want is the
bug-a-boo of many people I know. When you ask most people what they want
they will give you a stock answer. Something like:

ƒ Lots of money
ƒ A sexy body
ƒ A soul-mate
ƒ Happiness
ƒ A new house

While these are all fine things to want, they are too general to be of any
real use when trying to create change in your life.

The truth is, your inner phoenix always knows exactly what you want in fine
detail. The trick is listening to what she has to say.

NOTICE: IF YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS YOU WANT, YOU


C A N F O R MU L A T E T HE A C T I O NS T O M A K E I T H A P P E N !

I have one thing more to say about getting what you want before I reveal
how to listen to what your phoenix is telling you.

Your desires have to be realistic. If you are a man, you will not succeed if
what you want is to be pregnant. If you are 50, you will not succeed if what
you want is to be 20 again. These are no-brainers that everyone can agree
are impossibilities.

However, where most people fail is to compare their desires not to reality,
but to their judgment of who they currently are.

NOTICE: IF YOU WORK FOR CHANGE, WHO YOU ARE NOW IS


GOING AWAY! COMMON S E N S E T E L L S Y O U T O U S E Y O U R V IS I O N
OF THE FUTURE AS YOUR GUIDE, NOT YOUR PRESENT
CIRCUMSTANCES!

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Here's an example:

You make a good income, enough to pay your rent and put food on the
table. You even make enough to have a few hundred dollars in your
pocket for fun stuff each month.

But it's not really the life you want. You desire to increase your
income by $2,000 a month. This would give you that beautiful new car
you want and a good vacation; not to mention a new wardrobe, a new
TV, and that sweet new stereo system you saw recently.

You look at your life and realize that given what you do for a living,
and your education, as well as how much you have ever made in the
past, that extra $2,000 is out of the question. For the person you are
right now, there is no way you will make that much money!

So you give up.

The reality is though, that even if it takes time and effort, you probably can
boost your income by $2,000 a month. But to believe that fact you have to
stop comparing your desire with who you currently are! Who you currently
are has been formed by the sub-conscious habits you are about to change!

Your inner phoenix knows better. She knows you can get what you want.
Listen to her and these concerns will vanish.

Okay, let's explore how you listen to your phoenix when she tells you what
you want. It's very simple if you use The Want List.

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The Want List
The want list is a very simple exercise that takes about a week to complete.
You spend 20 minutes a day for 7 days and then, on the 8th day, you will be
able to write a comprehensive list of exactly what it is you want.

Sound unbelievable? It's not, it's 100% doable. I have seen this work
wonders for many people and it can work wonders for you too. *smile*

Here's the formula for The Want List:

What you need:

ƒ 20 minutes a day of quiet time set aside. (Plan on Day 8 taking


more time.)
ƒ A pad of paper and pencil –or- a computer with a word-processing
program.
ƒ A willingness to explore your desires; including your physical
desires, your mental/emotional desires, and your spiritual desires.

What you do:

Beginning steps for each session, each day:

ƒ Find your quiet place and close your eyes.


ƒ Take several deep breathes to help relax yourself.
ƒ Greet your inner phoenix and welcome her participation in
this exercise.
ƒ Remind yourself to not judge anything you think or feel.
ƒ Ready yourself to start writing.

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Day 1:

ƒ Perform the beginning steps.


ƒ Write down everything you think you want: do not eliminate
anything. And do not judge it. Just put down everything
that comes to mind.
ƒ This should be pretty rapid and your list will be long!
ƒ Set this list aside.

Day 2:

ƒ Same as day 1, but do not think about or look at your list


from day 1. Start fresh! (Most people find that their list
gets shorter with each iteration. But if yours doesn't that's
okay!)

Day 3:

ƒ Perform the beginning steps.


ƒ Take the lists from day 1 and day 2 and compare them.
ƒ Notice the similarities and differences.
ƒ Consolidate them into one list, striking out things that are
redundant, consolidating things that are similar, and
eliminating anything that stands out as no longer desired.
ƒ Set this list aside.

Day 4:

ƒ Same as day 1, but do not think about or look at any of your


previous lists. Start fresh!

Day 5:

ƒ Same as day 1, but do not think about or look at any of your


previous lists. Again, start fresh!

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 14 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Day 6:

ƒ Perform the beginning steps.


ƒ Take the lists from day 4 and day 5 and compare them.
ƒ Notice the similarities and differences.
ƒ Consolidate them into one list, striking out things that are
redundant, consolidating things that are similar, and
eliminating anything that stands out as no longer desired.
ƒ Set this list aside.

Day 7:

ƒ Perform the beginning steps.


ƒ Take the lists from day 3 and day 6 and compare them.
ƒ Notice the similarities and differences.
ƒ Consolidate them into one list, striking out things that are
redundant, consolidating things that are similar, and
eliminating anything that stands out as no longer desired.
ƒ Set this list aside.

Day 8 (now for the real fun):

ƒ Perform the beginning steps.


ƒ Take the list from day 7.
ƒ Look it over carefully.
ƒ Remember there is no judgment as to whether or not you
think you can do any of these. These are desires.
ƒ Think about each line item.
ƒ Rewrite that line to truly reflect this desire. Embellish this
item to include details about it. For example, if one of your
desires is to remodel your kitchen, add to this item what you
want the kitchen to be like. Instead of "remodel the
kitchen" you may write "remodel the kitchen by adding a
center island, making the room bigger, installing a
greenhouse window, and bringing more natural materials into
the construction." Put in whatever matches the picture you
have in your mind of a remodeled kitchen.
ƒ Rejoice at finding your desires!

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 15 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Congratulations! If you have suspended your judgment, listened to your
phoenix, and have been honest with yourself, this will be a pretty accurate
reflection of what you want in your life right now. You should feel a thrill
when you look at this list. Give yourself the gift of reading this list over
several times and feel the feelings you would feel if all these things were
truly made manifest through action!

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 16 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Manifest through Action
So now what? Now you combine all of this good stuff and transform your
life!

Each of these newly uncovered desires can become its own action plan. I
suggest you look at your list of desires and determine three things:

1. Where is the best place to start,


2. What actions must you take to make this desire a reality, and
3. Which of your current habits do not support these actions?

NOTICE: AS Y O U MO V E C L O S E R T O Y O U R D E S I R E S , Y O U R D E S I R E S
WILL UNDOUBTEDLY CHANGE. THIS IS A D Y N A M I C P R O C E S S A N D I
U R G E Y O U T O R E V IS I T Y O U R L I S T O F D E S I R E S R E G U L A R L Y . EVERY 3 TO
4 M O N T H S IS A G O O D T I M E F R A M E T O C O N S I D E R .

Where to Start?

Pick the low-hanging fruit to start with! If your list of desires is twenty
long, surely you will notice that some of them look easier to accomplish than
others, or that some of them must be accomplished before others.

For example:

If one of your desires is to spend 2 months in China, and another


desire is to make $2,000 more each month so you can afford to take
time off and travel, then you can easily see that the increased
earnings are necessary in order to pay for the travel. So you start
with the desire of earning extra money.

You may find that the assigning order to all your desires may not be as easy
or clear as it is in this example, but if that is so, just pick one! You want
them all so it doesn't really matter which one you start with!

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 17 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


What Actions are Needed?

Figuring out which actions to take may or may not be something you know off
the top of your head. You may need to research your subject to make a
determination about the best course of action. You can read books, talk to
knowledgeable people, and conduct research on the internet. If you know
you need to research things before you can make your full to-do list, then
make 'doing research' the top item on your to-do list for this desire and
then note the subjects you know need to be researched.

For example:

Perhaps one of your desires is to become an auto mechanic. You


probably need to get some additional training to fulfill this desire. So,
you need to research what type of education will prepare you the best
for the type of auto mechanic you want to be.

If you want to be an auto mechanic by trade, then you might want to


consult with auto repair shops about the type of education they want
in new mechanics they hire. Probably you would need classroom
education and perhaps an apprenticeship.

If you want to be a weekend mechanic, fixing up old cars in your spare


time, you will want to research what type of education will give you
the skills to do that. Perhaps you would need to join a club and read a
bunch of books. Then you might want to practice on some old junker
of a car you bought just to facilitate your learning process.

You can see that the action items that result as part of your education
process would be very different in these two scenarios. And this will be the
case for each of the desires on your list.

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 18 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Which Habits to Change?

Once you have your action list, now you get to take your observations about
your current habits and figure out which ones get in the way of performing
your new action list.

For example:

Perhaps one of your action items is to become proficient at Karate.


Through your research in forming your action list, you realize that the
only Karate class that fits in your schedule is at 6:45 am.

Uh-oh, you have a habit of not getting out of bed until 8:00 am, just in
time to shower, grab coffee, and race to the office. This habit is not
going to help you accomplish your desire. So you know that you have
to get up at a new time, to form a new habit about awakening each day.

Uh-oh, now you realize that to get up that much earlier, you have to go
to bed earlier. So now you have identified 2 habits you have to
change, going to bed and getting up in the morning.

Uh-oh, now you realize that grabbing a cup of coffee for breakfast is
not going to work if you have already spent 40 minutes doing Karate
before breakfast. So you realize you need to change your breakfast
habit and make room for better nutrition to make ready for each day.

3 habits to change - all related, but each with its own possible pitfalls to
success. How do you avoid the pitfalls?

Copyright © 2007, Kaarin Alisa – All rights reserved 19 http://www.kaarinalisa.com


Avoid the Pitfalls?
How do you avoid the pitfalls? Well, unfortunately, the answer is you can't!
You can overcome them in time, but falling short of the mark from time-to-
time is probably inevitable.

What counts in changing your habits is:

1. Giving it your full attention, so that when you are tempted to return
to old behaviors you are aware of the choice you are making to do so.

Example: Remind yourself of the desire you are postponing by


succumbing to your old habit. This is a good way to stay on track.

2. Give yourself short-term rewards for doing a good job. Nicely, your
desires list now becomes your long-term rewards, but daily change
requires something much more immediate to be motivating in the
moment.

Example: You may decide that when you have accomplished your new
action of going to karate class for 6 weeks that you will treat yourself
to a new outfit. Karate will continue, your long-term goal is not yet
realized, but you have a short-term goal to keep you motivated!

3. When the day comes and you do fail to uphold your new habit, employ
some of your phoenix' other tools and forgive yourself, pick yourself
up, and persevere with your new action the next time.

Do this and before you know it, you will have new habits that support your
life and bring you closer to your true desires each and every day.

I wish you and your phoenix supreme success!

To receive more tips and wisdom about unleashing your inner phoenix, sign up
for Kaarin's weekly tip-letter at http://www.kaarinalisa.com/signup.htm!

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