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You're Going to Fit in Just Fine

You're Going to Fit in Just Fine

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Published by Taylor Vincent

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Published by: Taylor Vincent on Feb 05, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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01/29/2013

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You’re Going to Fit In Just Fine
 by Taylor Vincent“A PTA meeting? To rename the
 football team?
Don’t these people have anything betterto do?” Daniel said to himself as he read the letter in his mail.“Not in the least, I’m afraid,” Brian replied from his prone position on the sofa, eyeslingering on the television, his mop of black hair limp on his head like a dead jellyfish on the beach.Daniel blinked, bewildered. He needed, just as you might, some background.See, it was springtime in Wilson, Wisconsin, which meant that the populace was bored.Much of the town – let’s say a third – was employed at Holly Hayworth, the 150 yearold stalwart of a local business. The privately owned company was nationally famous forHolly Hayworth’s Holiday Hams, as well as, to a lesser extent, Holly Hayworth’s HealthfulHoliday Herbs. The biggest complex in the Holly Hayworth concern was just outside ofWilson, a cluster of squat gunmetal gray buildings that slumped against the hillsides like asperm whale against a set of bleachers. From August to December, increasing numbers ofpeople from the surrounding area would shuffle into work there, where the hams weremanufactured for shipping out in time for Christmas across the country. It was a facilitywhere pigs were less grown and butchered than they were assembled and harvested, adystopian mechanization of grocery that one might expect from
Blade Runner
or a Pink Floydmusic video, but not southern Wisconsin.However, it was March, which meant that the workers were gone and that the town of
 
Wilson was bored enough to spend its time thinking about naming the football team. DanielLancaster had just moved to town and was not aware of the cycle of energy in the area. Hewas a computer specialist, and in a place like Wilson, a computer specialist is always busy.Outside of the Deep South, southern Wisconsin is perhaps the best place to find peoplescared of computers. The elderly, presented with one of the infernal machines, will oftencower in fear as if the opening of a laptop would reveal some demonic horror. This was alesson Daniel had learned the hard way in the mere six months he had lived and worked inWilson. Moreover, since human stupidity knows no timetable, Daniel’s own stressors did notvanish with the New Year, and he was thoroughly confused by the town’s restlessness just asthe days began to grow longer.Daniel read the letter once more. “I don’t see why they need to change the name,there’s nothing wrong with… oh,” he said to himself, part of his humanity wasting away ashe read the name. “Okay, yeah, I can see them wanting to change that.”“Is that Joe Martin’s idea?” Brian asked from behind him. “The man’s as crazy as helooks if he thinks Old Lady Johansen’s going to let us get away with changing the name.”Daniel nodded in the affirmative, set the rest of the mail on the cheap coffee table, andsat down on the sectional next to Brian. The latter man chuckled. “Ought to be a fun meeting.That’s tomorrow night, right?”Daniel nodded.Brian Paulson was Daniel Lancaster’s only real friend in Wilson. He had met Danielonline and landed the younger man his job when an opening came about in Brian’s
 
department – tech support for the local Telco. He had also helped Daniel win a convenientlytimed election onto the Wilson PTA executive board. Daniel had brought his daughter Annanorth from Chicago when he moved, and Brian could see the zeal with which he went abouthammering away any obstacles to his daughter’s future. The public saw it, too, so whenEsther Eiserman vacated her seat through the only act she was capable of at her age – death –the town trusted her seat to Daniel Lancaster, the newcomer from the city.Suddenly, without warning, REO Speedwagon’s “Roll With the Changes” beganemanating from Brian’s pants.The two hemispheres of Daniel’s brain fell out of sync for a moment as he struggled tocope with that song coming from that place. Brian fished his cell phone from his pocket andDaniel slowly regained his composure.“Hello, darling cuddlecakes,” Brian said to his wife. Daniel looked down at the letterin his hand once more. If only Valerie could see him now. Her husband on the school board.However, she had been gone for eight years and two hundred and forty-nine days now, apoint Brian never failed to bring up.“Love you too, lovey-bear. G’bye,” Brian said as he snapped his phone shut. “That wasMargaret, obviously. She wants to know when you’re going to go on a double date with us.You don’t get out enough, Dan, and she’s a whole stable of women she’d like to set you upwith.”“So you’re saying my potential dates are horses,” Daniel replied, deadpan.“Maybe. Maybe they want to be rode,” the older man replied.

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