BrideStep Ebook

Bride Step
Plan Your Perfect Wedding

by: Athina Marie Fascianella
Table of Contents
CHAPTER 1 ................................................................................................................................................ 4
ANNOUNCING THE ENGAGEMENT ............................................................................................................. 4
ENGAGEMENT PICTURES ........................................................................................................................... 6
ENGAGEMENT PARTY ............................................................................................................................... 7
PLANNING MADE EASY ............................................................................................................................ 9
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER ........................................................................................................................... 12
BUSINESS CARDS .................................................................................................................................... 17
PICK THE DATE ....................................................................................................................................... 18
THEME & COLOR SCHEME ...................................................................................................................... 20
BUDGET CALCULATOR & BREAKDOWN ................................................................................................. 22
WEDDING CONSULTANT - HIRE OR NOT TO HIRE .................................................................................. 28
CHAPTER 2 .............................................................................................................................................. 31
PICK YOUR BRIDAL PARTY ..................................................................................................................... 31
TOP 3 EXPENSES FOR THE WEDDING PARTY .......................................................................................... 33
OTHER IMPORTANT JOBS ........................................................................................................................ 37
HIGHLIGHTED WEDDING PARTY DUTIES................................................................................................ 38
CREATING A GUEST LIST ........................................................................................................................ 42
THE ART OF GETTING MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK ............................................................................ 47
TOP 10 QUESTIONS TO ASK ALL VENDORS ............................................................................................ 49
TIPPING TIPS............................................................................................................................................ 51
CHAPTER 3 .............................................................................................................................................. 53
WHERE TO SAY "I DO" ............................................................................................................................ 53
QUESTIONS FOR THE CEREMONY VENDOR ............................................................................................. 54
PROCESSION ............................................................................................................................................ 56
UNITY CANDLE ....................................................................................................................................... 58
RECEIVING LINES .................................................................................................................................... 60
CHOOSING A LOCATION TO CUT A RUG.................................................................................................. 61
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR RECEPTION VENDOR .................................................................................... 62
ALCOHOL ................................................................................................................................................ 65
SPEECHES ................................................................................................................................................ 66
SEATING PLAN ........................................................................................................................................ 69
FAVORS ................................................................................................................................................... 71
CHAPTER 4 .............................................................................................................................................. 73
GET A GORGEOUS GOWN AT A GREAT RATE ......................................................................................... 73
HOW TO GET YOUR ACCESSORIES WITHOUT GETTING A LOAN? .......................................................... 78
QUESTIONS THAT YOU NEED TO ASK YOUR DRESS VENDOR ............................................................... 80
WEDDING DAY HAIR .............................................................................................................................. 81
WEDDING SKIN & TEETH ........................................................................................................................ 84
WEDDING DAY MAKEUP ........................................................................................................................ 86
HEALTH/WEIGHT LOSS ........................................................................................................................... 87
HANDSOME HUSBAND TO BE .................................................................................................................. 89
BEAUTIFUL BRIDESMAIDS ...................................................................................................................... 92
BrideStep.com © Copyright 2010 2

GOOD LOOKING GROOMSMEN/USHERS.................................................................................................. 96
CHARMING CHILDREN ............................................................................................................................ 98
PRETTY GREAT PARENTS ...................................................................................................................... 101
CHAPTER 5 ............................................................................................................................................ 103
CATERING ............................................................................................................................................. 103
CAKE ..................................................................................................................................................... 106
WEDDING STATIONERY ........................................................................................................................ 110
INVITATIONS: ADDRESSING & ASSEMBLY ........................................................................................... 113
PERSONAL WEDDING NEWSLETTERS & WEBSITES .............................................................................. 117
FLOWERS & DECOR .............................................................................................................................. 120
7 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR FLORIST? ................................................................................................. 125
SMILE FOR THE CAMERA ....................................................................................................................... 127
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION ................................................................................................................... 131
CUT A RUG ............................................................................................................................................ 134
"LIMO LIGHTNING" - WEDDING TRANSPORTATION ............................................................................. 139
CHAPTER 6 ............................................................................................................................................ 144
BON VOYAGE ........................................................................................................................................ 144
TEN STEPS TO CHANGING YOUR NAME ............................................................................................... 149
THANK YOU NOTES .............................................................................................................................. 152

CHAPTER 1
ANNOUNCING THE ENGAGEMENT
Let me take this moment to congratulate you on your engagement. Take a second to let it all
sink in. You are getting married! This is a fabulous time in your life, so enjoy it as much as you
can. Now that you're engaged, the question is what do you do next? The first thing most
brides-to-be cannot wait to do is to inform the people you know, whether near or far, that you
and your fiancé are in love and planning to tie the knot.
● First, you should tell your parents if they don’t already

know. Traditionally, your fiance should have contacted
your parents and informed them of his intention to
marry their daughter. His next step would be to
approach his parents, and tell them that he has found
the love of his life and wants to ask this woman to
marry him. By the time the marriage proposal actually
takes place your parents will have already been
forewarned. Now it's just the simple matter of telling
your parents that he has indeed proposed.
● If this isn't the way it happened -- maybe it was just a

spur of the moment decision, or maybe you're just not
a traditional couple. There's always the Contemporary Method. Since, in this particular
case, both sets of parents won't have any advance notice, the only way to avoid hurt
feelings down the road is to inform them both at the same time. If you live in the same
area this will be a piece of cake. Take both sets of parents out to dinner and tell them
together. If both sets of parents live far apart then, by all means, go high-tech and have
a conference call. This way you're informing everyone at the same time and no one will
feel neglected. Now that your parents know about your upcoming marriage, what about
the rest of your family?
● The greatest way to share the good news is via word of mouth. Each partner will take a
set of people that they want to tell about the impending marriage. You're going to tell
your grandparents, siblings, godparents, etc. Let each set of parents inform everyone
else - whether it is your aunts, uncles, fifth cousins, third cousins twice removed, etc.
This way everyone gets informed by someone. You don't necessarily have to call every
single member of your family personally.
● The next set of people are your acquaintances, basically anyone that is not related to
you. Most women tell their best friends they are engaged before they tell their moms, so
this is a no-brainer for most of you. Let your friends know he finally popped the
question, in their order of importance, starting with your best friend and working your
way through your circle of friends. If you are so inclined post it on Facebook or Twitter!
● The next group to inform are your co-workers. This is a very delicate situation. I don't
advise you to go into the office on a Monday morning and make this grand
announcement. If your company has more than ten people you don't want to do that
because it's very unprofessional. Here is what to do. Tell the few closest people that
you talk to on a regular basis. Then send out a brief e-mail saying, "Hi, just wanted to let
everyone know that I got engaged this weekend - details to follow". And that is it -
nothing big - no hoopla. People will come to you if and when they see fit.
So you've told your family, acquaintances and co-workers. How are you going to tell everyone
else? Through a newspaper announcement of course! This is a semi old-fashioned way of
spreading the word, but it still happens and there is a way to do it correctly.
● Announce your wedding up to twelve months prior to the wedding. Even if you're getting
married and you've set a date three years from now, don't announce it in the newspaper
until two years from now - remember twelve months prior to the date.
● Announce it again at least two weeks prior to the wedding date. This is a reminder, sort
of a little poke with a stick saying, "Hey, remember us we're going to get married".

Now you have told your parents, your friends, and the world about your wonderful news.
ENGAGEMENT PICTURES
In this section we are going to discuss your engagement pictures.

The first question that usually pops into people's minds is if they
should have a professional, family member, or friend take the
photos - the professional vs. amateur argument! In my opinion
the best way to go, if your wedding photographer doesn’t offer
engagement pictures, is to have an amateur do it. It saves you
money and it's the easiest way to reflect your personality.
However, if you really want to have that professional look done go
to Sears or Walmart. This is the best way to have that portrait
style without having to pay those portrait prices. You have the
"who" now you need the "where".
Where do you have the photos taken if you aren't going to do it portrait style at Sears, Walmart,
or a studio? The best place to have the photos taken would be somewhere that portrays both
your personalities.
● Let's say you wake up every morning with the sand at your feet and the ocean breeze
blowing through your hair. Why not take the photos on a beach?
● You're both sport fans. You have season tickets; you never miss a game and own 800
jerseys. Why not take the pictures at a ballpark?
● What if you are both animal lovers? You have six dogs, two cats, a hamster, a pot-
bellied pig, a snake - you name it you have it. Or maybe you're a veterinarian. Why not
take your pictures at a zoo?
Do something that reflects who you are as a couple. When my husband and I had our photos
taken, we did so at the park near our high schools. It represented our love of our neighborhood.

Next is probably one of the most important questions: What am I going to wear? As far as your
attire goes, just think casual Friday with a twist! A key tip is to dress according to the
background.
● Let's say you're going to have those pictures taken at the beach. Why not a sun dress
for you and a pair of khaki shorts with a polo for your fiancé?
● What if you're going to have those ballpark pictures done? Then you can wear your
favorite team jersey and dress jeans. You can even do a change of clothes if your
photographer is okay with it.
Lets talk about your hair and your make-up. You want to go natural and not too flashy.
● Don't do an "updo" with tendrils and curls going every which way, or even think about
wearing a tiara.
● Don't do anything that is totally out of character for you. Remember, the aim is to appear
timeless. You definitely do not want to make your photo appear dated.
One way of avoiding this is by not going overboard with accessories. The simpler the better.
● Don't wear huge eight inch long earrings just simply because chandelier earrings may be
the big thing at the moment. Ceiling chandeliers never go out of style but chandelier
earrings eventually will.
● Keep your accessories small. A pair of stud earrings or maybe a nice locket.
● Think two accessories as tops!
Just remember to have fun with the entire experience.
ENGAGEMENT PARTY
The next part of the engagement trio is the engagement party. There are usually four areas of
concern with this topic so let's take one at a time.

● Why have an engagement party? An engagement party isn’t a must. My advice to you
is if you are paying for the party - don’t have one. Take the money you would have used
on the party, put it towards your wedding, and make it even better than you thought you
possibly could. If you want to have an engagement
party, and let's face it who doesn't want a party in their
honor, keep it simple. A big thing to keep in mind is
that gifts are not required for an engagement party. I'm
sure this is a surprise to many people - it was to me!
But remember, if you receive a gift you must write a
thank you note. A thank you note must precede a gift
for every wedding related party in your honor. Even if
you get gifts at your bachelorette party, you must send
thank you notes. This is an etiquette must! (It's also a
pet peeve of mine!)
● Who do you invite? This is a simple one. Actually, it is

the easiest one. You only invite people that you're
going to invite to the wedding. Invitations should start with your family and work their
way down to your friends and co-workers - depending on the size of the party. If you’re
not sure if someone is going to be invited to the wedding, do not invite them to the
engagement party. Rule of thumb is that f they are invited to the engagement party then
they must be invited to the wedding.
● When do we have the party? The party should take place no more then two months after
announcing your engagement. So, if you announce your engagement in January, you
should have your party before April.
● And the biggest question: How much is it going to cost me? The cost of a party depends
on a number of factors.
○ Formality: Is it black tie, suits, or just jeans and sneakers?
○ Size: Will you be inviting thirty or three hundred people?
○ Location: Will it be in your backyard, church rec room, a party hall, or in a hotel?

Now you know the "why", "who", "when", and "how much". It is up to you to decide whether or
not to have that party.
PLANNING MADE EASY
Your entire planning process can be a breeze. The one

key to planning anything is organization. The one way to
be truly organized is to have a file binder, which will only
be utilized for the planning of your wedding. This binder
will be your wedding central. Anything wedding related
will be placed into this binder. Therefore, you have a
“one-stop-shop” for everything you require for your
wedding. Let's go over the binder layout. You're going
to need a few supplies from your local office supply
store.
● Binder. It should be three inch thick and three-ringed. It’ll seem too large when you
purchase it but trust me, it’ll fill up fast!
● Three-hole punch. This will help to secure the paper into the binder
● Approximately (18) three-hole pocket dividers with insertable tabs. The reason for this
is so that each area of your wedding will have its own section. Therefore, it will be easy
to find things when you need to. You're not going to be searching around two hundred
pieces of paper. Everything will be immediately accessible when needed. The pocket
dividers are a necessity because you’ll be accumulating contracts, samples, and little
bits of wedding related papers that will require some organization. These bits of papers
might have phone numbers on them that you eventually might want to inquire about.
These pockets will help separate and organize this accumulation of papers. Everything
will be in its own place for your convenience and easy access.

● (3) three hole plastic business card holders. You will be given a multitude of business
cards from anyone who hears that you're planning a wedding. These cards should be
easily available. You don't want to be searching around in a thousand different places
for any one particular business card. All business cards relating to caterers, florists, etc.,
will go into their own respective pockets. Therefore, when you need a florist you will only
have to go to the pocket that has all florists' business cards. Everything will be
accessible to you in one easy and neat place.
● Pocket calendar. This can be purchased at any retail or super store. It's simply a small
hand-held pocket calendar that has every date between the day he proposed and the
day you will both say, "I do". You can also use your PDA if you own one.
● Bride Step Printable Workbook. This workbook can be found on BrideStep.com. It

contains simple and easy to read pages that you can print out on your home printer, and
"bam" everything you need, will be in one place. These are the things that you'll need to
help organize yourself.
Once you have everything, let's go to the pocket dividers and prepare to label them. We will
quickly go through all the titles that you'll require. The labels can be printed, written or even
decorated. Remember, this binder will be your "bible".
● Overview. This will contain a general review of all your scheduled appointments,
suppliers, etc.
● Budget. This is broken down into specific areas of the binder, and it has a different page
for each area along with its own cover sheet. In the "Budget" area all the expense cover
sheets will go together, so you will have a quick way to see how much money you have
available to spend in a specific area.
● Bride. This is a very important area. This is where anything related to you personally is
found. It can be your dress, your shoes, your make-up, your hair, a spa date, etc. All
things pertaining to the bride go into this section.

● Groom. The same applies to him whether it’s his tuxedo, his hair, a spa date, etc.
Anything relating to the groom will go into this area.
● Bridal Party. Here you will keep such things that apply to their attire, their schedules, if
they have any specific requests or needs, etc. Most important in this area will be their
contact information, which will immediately be at your disposal.
● Guest. This area will house your guest list complete with contact information, favors, and
anything else that has to do with your guests.
● Pre-Wedding Events. This section will hold anything leading up to the wedding itself.
This can mean rehearsal dinners, bridal showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties, or
any other event that will be happening prior to the wedding.
● Stationery. This encompasses your invitations, matchbooks, programs, napkins,

personal stationery which you have prior to and also after the wedding, thank you notes,
etc.
● Photographer and Videographer. These areas will hold anything relating to each
respectively.
● Ceremony. This area will hold anything related to where you are going to have the
ceremony, how it is going to be run, who is running it, what readings there will be, and
who will read what. You will also have whatever special features you'll be adding.
Maybe you're going to have a unity candle and have someone special light it. These
things are all ceremony related.
● Reception. In this area you will keep your seating charts, any special dances that you
want, etc. This is actually a very open area. You might have someone special make an
appearance, like your college mascot.
● Food & Cake. This area consists of everything involving the catering and the cake as
well. Here's where you will keep the lists of cake fillings, shapes, sizes, and all the
different decorations you could possibly want. As far as the food is concerned, if it is

related to your reception or being catered from outside, all paperwork relating to such
will be placed in the "Food & Cake" area, unless you choose otherwise.
● Music. This area will hold everything DJ or band related. If you requested eight different
songs, or can't decide between fifteen different songs - the "Music" section is where it
belongs. If you have CDs to be played, then you can get CD covered inserts and put
them in as well.
● Flower & Decoration. You will be placing any and all ideas pertaining to the overall look
and feel of your event in this area. You will also have information about the decor for the
ceremony and reception.
● Transportation & Lodging. This is the area where you will put anything limo related - or
maybe horse and buggy. If you're renting an entire hotel for your wedding guests - that's
right - into the "Transportation & Lodging" section it goes.
● Miscellaneous. Here's where you will keep your license and any check lists that may not
fit into any other areas.
● Honeymoon. Yes, it is technically after the wedding, but you have to plan for it while you
are planning your wedding. Here's where you are going to put all the different
brochures, travel agents names, documents, vaccinations, and anything you will require
pertaining to your honeymoon.
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
I know that it’s a cliché but by doing a few simple things and some research, you will be able to
find out everything that you need to know to make it possible to plan the perfect wedding. First
off you're going to have to do your homework. Oh no -- back to school again! Be ready to dust
off your notebooks and sharpen your pencils, because we're going to dive in and find out
everything and anything there is to know about weddings. I'm also going to teach you how to be
flexible. If you're able to give and take a little, or even bend a little here and there about certain

aspects of your wedding, you will be surprised as to how much
money, time and effort you can save. And best of all, you will
keep your stress level low.
My first tip for you is to think outside the box. Being creative is
never a bad trait when it comes to a wedding. If you're able to
create something instead of going out and spending thousands
of dollars on it -- well then, why wouldn't you? Here is a little
example from my own personal experience. I really wanted a
personalized aisle runner. However, I was quoted at the very
least $400 for it. Someone even quoted me $1200 due to the
length of my church’s aisle. There was no way I could rationalize
that expense to my fiancé since we were both paying for the
wedding. I searched the Internet and found a “how to decorate your aisle runner”. It was a
step-by-step instructional blog, with photos! So for under $100 and 10 hours of my time over
the course of a few days, I had the exact aisle runner I wanted for a fraction of the cost. I still
receive compliments on my aisle runner! Time = Savings. Trust me when I say this. The more
time you have to spend on planning your wedding, the more time you have to look and shop
around to find the best prices.
The first thing you're going to do is research. Why are you going to research, and what do you
need to research when it comes to weddings? Well, there are two answers.
● Pricing. You’ll need to search the average price regarding each vendor category that
you will be using in regards to your wedding. This way you will know which vendors are
ripping you off, and which ones will be saving you a ton of cash.
● Ideas. This probably is the most girlie part of it. You should get ideas and figure out
what you like and what you don't. This way when you begin to visit vendors you will
already know what you prefer, and you won't have to worry about them trying to sell you
things that you eventually may not want or even need.
Dust off your library cards. I want you to save money right from the start and don't want you to
spend hundreds of dollars on magazines. Go to the library. Take a Saturday morning or a

Sunday afternoon, and go browse through all of their bridal magazines. You won't have to
spend a dime on them. Take notes and write down the names of the florists, vendors,
designers, and caterers that you want to look into in depth. You can also make copies at the
library. But do this sparingly, because you do want to save money.
Networking is very important.
● If you live in or near a major metropolis definitely try to attend the expos and showcases
that are offered seasonally. Big cities such as Boston, Chicago, Dallas, New York,
Miami, Seattle, etc., are the spots where vendors display their wares. These vendors
from various categories such as music, food, flowers, etc., all get together, usually in a
hotel or a convention center, and have these expos. So you actually get to see
hundreds of vendors in only one afternoon, and usually for free or at a very low
reasonable price. This is a great place to network.
● Talk to other people. You must know someone who is getting or has gotten married
already that you can talk to. Find out who they are using or have already used. If you
went to a wedding for your cousin and fell in love with the DJ, inquire as to the name of
the DJ company. Most people will be happy to give out this information, because you're
actually paying them a compliment. They made a great choice for their wedding, and
you want the best for your wedding.
● Talk to vendors. Some florists have been around for so many years that they've worked
with mostly everyone in the business. They probably have worked with every band,
catering hall, etc. This will help you to find out who the best are. Just be a little leery
when it comes to this. Find out if they are recommending these companies because
they truly believe that they're the best in the business, or because they're going to be
getting a commission or referral fee. Just be aware! But, this is really a great avenue to
go.
● Your local college. This is something that you may not really have thought to consider,
but I have a friend that saved almost $2,300.00 simply by using this branch. What am I
referring to? Well, its none other than your "local college". College students studying
film, music and photography need to build their portfolios. What better way for them to

do this then by having you use their newly acquired expertise. You will be saving money
and they'll be building their portfolios. You might even find the next Vera Wang, Emeril
Lagasse, or Martin Scorcese for one-half the price of the cost of a professional.
○ Always use juniors and seniors if you go this route. Be sure to inquire about their
past work, transcripts and letters of recommendations from their professors.
○ Find out if they are employed by someone and ask for a letter of
recommendation from the employer. This information will help you make sure
that they're responsible and doing this for their career, not just for some quick
cash.
○ Since they are students and you're getting a service for less money than you
usually would, you will have to play a bigger role in the planning and execution of
your wedding. You are going to have to be more hands-on with them. You can't
just leave it up to the students, because they may not know actually where to go
with certain matters. But, the plus here is that you will be able to save money.
Here's a brief story for you. A bride was getting married in 2003, and turned to a friend who was
attending the esteemed Fashion Institute of Technology to make her dress. She offered to pay
for the materials and was able to get her dress for $250. This friend designed and created a
one-of-a-kind dress for her. This past summer that same friend sold a similar design based on
that dress for over $5,000.00. So, quite a bit of savings if you ask me!
The next aspect of research is for you to "Ride the Internet Surfboard". You're going to surf the
web high and low and bookmark your favorite sites. Have a folder in your favorites section
entitled "wedding". This will contain all the sites that you have come across. You can easily
print the information whenever necessary. And, you won't have to worry about cluttering up
your binder, because it will all be available to you right on the Internet! Another advantage of
surfing the net is that you can expand your choices. Let's say you live in NYC and are having a
western themed wedding. Western themed paraphernalia is not exactly running rampant in
NYC, so why not contact a vendor in Dallas or San Antonio, and have them send you samples
for your wedding. Maybe some favors or invitations that are especially made for a western
theme. Things that may not have been available to you before now are thanks to the net.

Speaking of the Internet - I would like to highlight three websites that I believe will come in
handy when planning your wedding.
● First, I'm sure you've already heard about theknot.com. While I think their best aspect
beyond tons of gallery images, is the advice and tips they give, I'm not crazy about them
because they do not go into depth on certain topics. They give you an overview, but
they don't usually get to the nitty-gritty, and that's sometimes what you need. If you just
require an overview or generalization then definitely visit theknot.com. If you need
something more in depth then definitely do the research on your own right now.
● Second is weddingchannel.com. The best aspect of this site, in my opinion, is their

registry. It is searchable by first name or last name of either person in the couple.
Therefore, your guests will easily be able to find the items that you would like for your
home. The weddingchannel.com is very similar to theknot.com in that they offer you a
lot of information, but it's all generalized information. Just be aware when using either of
these two sites for specific information, because it may not be available.
● The next site when it comes to saving money is the best. You've got it, eBay.com. You
can find absolutely anything on eBay with deep discounts such as designer wedding
dresses for one-third the price and only worn once. So, you can get a Vera Wang dress
for one-tenth the cost, and simply pay for the dry cleaning. You really will be saving a
ton of money. In addition to dresses, you can find favors, ribbons, and other generalized
items that you may not be able to locate elsewhere at such great prices.
As I've said before, when it comes to planning a wedding you must acquire an abundance of
knowledge. This information acquired from your knowledge through your research must be at
your fingertips at any given moment.

BUSINESS CARDS
The next aspect of this course is all about business cards. You would be surprised to find out
how much power these little pieces of paper possess. There are three parts to this.
● First, you're going to collect them. Collect as many business cards as humanly possible.
Just take them from every vendor, expo, associate, etc. Then weed through them
gradually. The plus of business cards is that they now all have URLs on them. You can
pull up the vendor's site and do a pre-interview of them. You can look around and see
what they offer, if they have galleries available, and how in depth their website really
goes. I am actually a website snob so this truly helped me narrow down my vendor
choices. If their website wasn’t up to my standards, their card got tossed in the trash.
This can be used as an informational tool for weeding out the good from the bad.
● Second, you're going to trade them. That's right, you're

going to be making your own business cards for you and
your fiancé but I’ll get back to that.
● Third, use them. Get all the information you can from
them. Don't just have them pile up. Go through them, do
research and talk to people. They are only as good as the
paper they're written on.
How are you going to make your cards?
● All you need is a word processing program and to make a

trip to one of your local office supply stores, such as Staples, Office Max or Office Depot.
They have an entire section of stationery where you will find business card templates,
typically by Avery.
● Simply select the template of the card you've picked on your software program and
you're in business.

Don't be intimidated, because they're simple to make and easy to use. It saves you a lot of time
when it comes to writing out contracts and trading information with other people. When it comes
to the expos and showcases you'll appreciate them. During these events vendors usually have
a contest in order to get your attention. They ask you to fill in your contact information and
eventually use that information to contact you. Instead of sitting there and filling out cards
provided by them, simply hand them your “handy-dandy” business card. Drop it in their little
fishbowl and proceed to the next table.
You want to include the bride and groom's information. I suggest printing the bride’s on the
front and the groom’s on the back.
● Name
● Mailing Address (Street Address, City, State and Zip Code)
● Home phone number
● Work phone number
● Email address
● Wedding Date (if it’s picked out already)
This way you will always be accessible to the people you wish to be accessible to. Simply print
a bunch of cards, place them in your wallet or in your handy-dandy binder, and you're on your
way. Trust me when I say that collecting and creating business cards is the quickest and
easiest part of planning your wedding, as well as one of the most helpful and convenient.
PICK THE DATE
Picking the date of the wedding is a very important subject, so let's dive right into it.
● The closer the holidays are to the day of your wedding, the higher the prices are going to
be. For example, I know that with Christmas weddings some aspects may be cheaper,
but not when you have to deal with florists and reception halls. During the holidays
these two vendors are a bit pricier.

● You must be aware of city and sporting events that may put a strain on local vendors.
Be sure to check ahead to make sure there isn't a convention or Super Bowl going on in
your town that may conflict with your wedding. Those types of events may make it
difficult for your out-of-town guests to find lodging and transportation, not to mention the
possibility of gridlock due to the excessive amount of traffic there will be.
Now, I'm going to go through the calendar quickly and explain what the most expensive,
moderate, and least expensive times are.
● Let's start with the most expensive. It's going to

cost you two to three times more money to have
your wedding during the months of May through
October, because it's the time when the weather is
usually the most consistent. People want to get
married outside where the sun is shining and
flowers are blooming. This is when most people
prefer to have their wedding; therefore, vendors
have no problem raising their prices. Saturday
evenings are one of the most expensive times. It's
the most popular because people usually don't
have to work the next day. They have that whole
day to pamper themselves and just sit around and relax. Year round, Saturday evenings
will always be more expensive than any other day of the week.
● Now we can move on to the moderate or average priced times. This is where it's not
going to be very expensive yet not very inexpensive. April, November, and December
are the most reasonable. Wait, did I said December! How much closer can you get to
the holidays? Well, this is pretty close, isn't it? The reason I am singling out the month
of December is because of its unpredictable weather. Not everyone wants to get
married when there could be a possibility of snow. An accumulation of possibly three
feet of snow in your area would make it very difficult for catering halls and florists to book
weddings during this time. If you're going to take this chance please be careful as to
what day you're going to choose. Be aware of holiday parties in December as well. As
far as days of the week are concerned, Friday nights are usually moderately priced.

● We will now discuss the least expensive times. The least expensive months to get
married are January, February, and March. This especially pertains to the north simply
because of weather. Again, as in December, we have the possibility of snow, which is a
big concern. While Valentine's Day is the most expensive day to get married (in the
flower department) and one of the most popular, February is generally less expensive
than other months. Saturday and Sunday afternoons are very inexpensive simply
because the majority of brides aim to have Friday and Saturday evening receptions.
While you're picking the date please keep the above advice in mind and pick the date that is the
happiest for you. Remember to give yourself enough time to plan your wedding. Don't just rush
into a date because of the day of the week or the time of the year.
THEME & COLOR SCHEME
My number one tip when it comes to wedding themes

and color schemes is that it should always reflect the
wedding couple's love. It should reflect your
relationship, your personalities, and who you are as a
whole. I like to use baseball as an example because
for my husband and I, it’s a perfect fit. If you both love
baseball and you have season tickets to your
hometown team, make your wedding about baseball. If
your friends describe you as the typical baseball
couple, then bring it to them. Making your wedding
about you two is more than just picking out your
favorite colors. It is about displaying your love, your
interests, and your personalities together as one for
everyone to see and enjoy.
Let's move right along to the top three reasons to even have a theme.

1. Coordinating and matching all aspects of your wedding will provide one seamless picture
to your guests.
2. Decision-making is made a lot easier. It minimizes your choices immensely instead of

having to search through six hundred different invitations. You can say to your vendor,
"Listen, we're going to have a baseball themed wedding in the middle of October,
therefore, I need to see your collection of fun baseball invitations". Not only will your
invitations match everything, but also the rest of your stationery, any other paperwork,
and your flowers. Everything will match accordingly.
3. Creativity will save you tons of cash. It's just plain and simple. You can think of things
that are not normally wedding related and incorporate them. Thereby, making it a
unique wedding where everyone who attends will absolutely walk away astonished.
Let’s talk about my top three tips when it comes to dealing with your theme.
0. The colors should compliment the location. When you look at the location please take a
picture, memorize it or whatever. You should not have colors that will clash, because it
will draw people's attention to the wrong area.
1. The colors should be carried throughout the decor and the rest of the day. They should
be carried through to your floral and overall decorations. The same family of colors
should be utilized for the bridesmaids' attires, the ushers' ties, and any place where you
can incorporate that color scheme. Your family of colors will really work to bring the
whole day together.
2. The colors should compliment the season. Dark colors are favorable in the fall and
winter. So, look at those emerald greens or navy blues for those fall or winter months.
Lighter colors are favorable for the spring and summer. Any pastel colors such as pinks
or yellows are fine.
Today, there are three extremely popular wedding themes across the country.
1. Beach theme. The colors usually associated with this theme are tans, blues, whites, and
beiges. All light colors that you can definitely find right at the beach. The decor, well
that's simple, could consist of shells, sand, and pebbles - things of that nature. The

attire should always be light fabrics, think linens and silks. Something light and not too
detailed for the bride. You don't usually see a lot of embroidery or big heavy taffeta
gowns in the summertime.
2. Vintage Glamour. The colors are usually reds, blacks and golds, which are used to
make the bright white of your dress sparkle. The decor! There are always crystals
somewhere. Sleek, clean lines and very little to no clutter. Attire is usually of a rich
fabric - silk, fur, etc. These types of fabrics usually work better with this type of wedding
simply because they take place in the wintertime.
3. Woodland/rustic. The colors are usually burgundys, browns, and dark blues. The decor
is usually very simple but not always what you’d expect at a wedding. Nature plays a
huge role in this sort of wedding, so expect to see wood, leaves and fresh flowers. The
spectrum of attire for a woodland/rustic theme runs the gamut. You can see heavier
fabrics such as suede or lighter fabrics like cotton. Your only limitation is your
imagination. Typically, you will see this theme being used in the spring and autumn.
By making sure your themes and colors are chosen at the beginning of your wedding plans, it
will leave you with one less decision to make, and more room for the other necessary decisions.
BUDGET CALCULATOR & BREAKDOWN
This is one of the most important topics of the entire

course. Weddings cost money and this section is going to
let you know exactly how much money you can safely
spend on yours. We are going to discuss the budget
calculator. This will show you how much money you really
have to spend. In order to find your exact budget, you
must follow these seven easy steps. I'm going to run
through them and then I will explain each one.

● In the first step we're going to calculate your Combined Monthly Income (CMI). This
includes the income of both you and your fiancé.
● Next, we're going to find your Combined Yearly Income (CYI). Again, this includes both
yours and your fiancé’s income.
● Third, we're going to find your Yearly Expenses (YE). This includes all the money that
you shell out each month, each year, and I mean everything.
● Next, we're going to find the Total Funds Available (TFA) between the two of you, and
how much money you really have that you can spend.
● Fifth, we're going to find your Usable Funds (UF). These are the funds you can use for
everything, but not the total funds that you necessarily have. Just because you have a
million dollars doesn't mean that you should spend a million dollars.
● Next, we're going to find your Subtotal.
● And finally we're going to get your Budget Total.
Let's first find your CMI.

● This is the bride's monthly income plus the groom's monthly income, which will equal
your combined monthly income. I'm going to give you an example. Every month you
and your fiancé make $4,000 each. Together this will equal $8,000 a month. Your
Combined Monthly Income is $8,000 each month.
Now that we know your Combined Monthly Income, let's find your Combined Yearly Income.
● We're going to take your CMI and multiply it by 12 because there are twelve months in a
year. This will give us your CYI. Let's continue with the example. Your Combined
Monthly Income which was $8,000 x 12 months = $96,000. Therefore, your CYI is
$96,000.00.
Let's find your Yearly Expenses. In order to find your YE we must follow a couple of steps.

● Determine the Combined Monthly Expenses of both the bride and groom. Anything you
pay on a monthly basis - your rent, car payment, phone, etc. We are going to add these
expenses up and times them by 12. Now we have the first number.
● Determine your Combined Quarterly Expenses. Anything you don't pay monthly but pay
four times a year. Maybe your insurance is one of them. We are going to take these
expenses and times them by 4.
● Determine your Combined Annual Expenses. Anything you pay on a yearly basis.
Memberships are usually a good example of this. So, your yearly gym membership
dues will be added to your yearly expenses.
● Determine any other expenses you have. Get an average and determine those
expenses on a month-to-month basis.
● Add your Combined Monthly Expenses + Combined Quarterly Expenses + Combined

Annual Expenses + Other Expenses to equal your Combined Total Yearly Expenses.
For example, we're going to say that your:
Combined Monthly Expenses are $48,000.00
+ Combined Quarterly Expenses are $3,000.00
+ Combined Annual Expenses are $1,000.00
+ Other Expenses are $1,000.00.
Total Yearly Expenses are $53,000.00.
We're going to find your Total Funds Available.

● In order to find your TFA we are going to take your Combined Yearly Income and minus
your Total Yearly Expenses. In keeping with our example, your Yearly Income of
$96,000.00 minus your Total Yearly Expenses of $53,000.00 will make your Total Funds
Available $43,000.00.
Now we will find your Usable Funds.

● In order to find your UF we have to take your Total Funds Available minus any personal
savings, which on average should be 10% of each paycheck. You should be putting
away 10% of every paycheck you receive, and never touch it except for emergencies.
● Then we're going to add your contributions - if you have received any gifts from anyone,
or if your parents have decided that they're going to contribute to your wedding. These
will be added into the Fund. All totaled we're going to get your UF. We have $43,000.00
as your Total Funds Available.
● We are then going to minus 10% of your personal savings which should be $4,300.00.
● Then we're going to add $10,000.00, because this couple's parents are generous.
● The Usable Funds equal $48,700.00.
Let's find your Subtotal, in order to do that we are going to take your Usable Funds and add any
previous savings. You and your fiancé may have been putting money away in a separate
account or a piggybank your whole life - saving it for this day.
● We're going to take your UF of $48,700.00 and add your previous savings to get your
Subtotal. Since the example couple has saved $5,000.00 for their wedding the Subtotal
will be $53,700.00.
Finally comes the last step where we're going to get your Budget Total.
● To do this we're going to take 10% of your Subtotal. We want to hold onto that 10% for
emergency costs. This is the money that does not get touched unless it is absolutely
necessary. This 10% will be your salvation. This is the money you'll use if something
unexpected occurs, or you've just simply gone over your budget. Therefore, you won't
go into any type of debt if you remember to take out that 10% from your Subtotal right
from the beginning. Now, take your Subtotal and minus 10% of your Subtotal for
emergency costs and that gives you your Budget Total. This couple's Subtotal was
$53,700.00, minus 10% of that which is $5,370.00, making their Budget Total
$48,330.00. This is the amount of money they'll have to spend on their entire wedding.
That's not too shabby now, is it!

It will take about a thirty minutes to an hour to calculate, but you will know the exact amount of
money you have on hand with which to plan that dream wedding. Here are a few more tips to
manage your budget.
● If you're getting any contributions be sure to find out what strings are attached in
advance. Let's say your mother says we're going to give you $10,000.00. Now you're
ecstatic, you're happy, you're jumping for joy, you now have $10,000.00 to play with.
Well, when it comes to your picking out flowers, your wedding hall, or your dress there
might be strings attached. You may have that one person who'll say: "Well, I gave you
that money", or just may want more of a say regarding your wedding plans then they
possibly should have. Be sure to find out what if any clauses go with that “gift”. If they're
giving you that money free and clear to do whatever you want with, then that's fine. If
there are restrictions or requests included, be sure to make your terms clear before you
accept any contributions.
● Get a fixed budget if contributions are on an item to item basis. If, for example, your
mother wants to pay for your flowers, find out how much she's looking to spend on all
your flowers. Because if you go into the florist and you are choosing $5,000 worth of
flowers, but your mom has only budgeted herself to be able to spend only $3,000, then
you have a problem. You'll now have to come up with the other $2,000. So, find out the
fixed budget contributions. Trust me when I say this. It will eliminate tons of family
disputes.
Let's talk about your savings. As far as your savings are concerned I have three very important
tips for you.
1. Open a joint account where both signatures are required for withdrawals. This is to
insure that both of you are aware of what money is being spent from this account. This
is very important for engaged couples who are not yet married. This is not considered
joint property. If on the off chance you break up and call off your engagement, and it's
done in a poor manner, there's a chance that money in the account may be withdrawn.
If one of you becomes angered and withdraws all the money, the other person will have
no legal rights for the return of the money unless both signatures were a requirement for
any and all withdrawals. That's why you must make sure that both signatures are
required for withdrawals. Remember, this can happen to anyone.

2. Make weekly deposits. This means that every week you're putting in a specific amount
of money from both of your paychecks. You will be so surprised as to how easy it is to
save money this way.
3. No matter how big you want your dream wedding to be, please oh please, don't take out
a loan. Loans may cost you so much more than you want to borrow. And in the long run
you're going to wind up spending tons more money in interest and late payments,
heaven for bid! Why not have a smaller scale wedding and be free and clear as far as
expenses are concerned.
Take a little time and sit down with your fiancé and go over your budget. Having a set and
distinctive budget number will make things easier for everyone involved.
Now that you have a set budget amount of how much

you can spend, let's do a basic budget breakdown on
how much of that money you should be spending on a
particular area of the wedding. If any items are included
in other areas or are being paid for by someone else,
you can move that allotted percent to miscellaneous.
● 50% - reception, food, and any type of beverages

● 13% - photos and videos
● 13% - music and/or entertainment
● 10% - bride and groom apparel (dress, veil, tuxedo, shoes, etc.)
● 2% - transportation (cars, limos, etc.)
● 2% - stationery (invitations, save the dates, thank you notes, etc.)
● 2% - cake
● 4% - decor/flowers
● The remaining 4% should be allotted for miscellaneous items

WEDDING CONSULTANT - HIRE OR NOT TO HIRE
We are going to be discussing wedding consultants, and whether or not this is someone you
should look into hiring. There are three questions when it comes to wedding consultants or
wedding planners. (1) Who are they? (2) What do they do? and (3) Are they really worth it?
Let's try to answer each question for you.
● Who are they? Wedding consultants and wedding planners are one in the same. A
bridal consultant is actually the sales person in a
bridal salon. Now that we have cleared up the
distinctions between the aforementioned, I'd like
you to know that there are actually men and
women who know everything and anything about
the wedding industry. These people are
considered walking wedding encyclopedias.
Anything regarding flowers, music, decor, cakes,
or whatever - these people can help you. They're
what you would call "life savers", because they
have been involved in literally thousands of these
functions. They're usually extremely organized
and very accommodating. They're able to multi-
task, managing six different things at one time.
They're referred to as people with Type A
personalities.
● What do they do? Well, wedding consultants do a variety things. Let me just highlight a
few things for you.
○ They can manage your budget instead of you having to sit down with your
calculator.
○ They can actually breakdown your budget into separate categories for you, and
allot money to you as needed.

○ They also will help you save money when possible.
○ Vendor Referrals. If your wedding consultant is very established and has been
around for a long time, they have probably worked with just about everyone
within a fifty-mile radius of you. They can actually help you to weed out the
unfavorable vendors such as florists, musicians, etc. and steer you in the right
direction.
○ Contract negotiations. It can be a very daunting job to sit down with a manager
of a reception hall and deal with negotiating your contract. What the wedding
consultant does is to help figure out what you exactly want, what the site
manager wants, and help create a contract that is ideal for both parties.
○ They're also on-site coordinators. There are so many details to deal with on your
wedding day. You'll see! Planning a special wedding depends a lot on details.
That day you'll have to finish paying people, tipping people, and whatnot. The
wedding consultants control the entire day. They're the ones people will go to if a
problem arises.
○ Now, let's discuss my favorite - the bride's personal assistant. Instead of having
the bride run around searching for her pocketbook in order to fix her make-up,
her hair, or simply get a glass of water - this is where they come to the rescue.
They'll get you anything you need or want. Think of them as your own personal
genie.
○ Event Design and Decor. It's very difficult for a bride who is not accustomed to
planning events to picture all the small elements coming together for one big
grand illusion. The wedding consultant is actually there to do that for you. They'll
explain to you how this flower will look with this particular fabric against this table.
They really are good when it comes to overall designs and coordination.
○ Etiquette Advice. This is a big stickler of a topic for me! Proper etiquette when it
comes to your wedding is a must. You have to be able to word things correctly.
Sticky situations regarding families are going to arise. Wedding consultants are

there to help "unstick" you - so to speak.
● Are they worth it? Depending on your budget and personality, a full-service wedding
consultant is a great asset. However, if you're able to devote a lot of time to planning
your wedding and you follow this course to the letter, you may not require a consultant
since they can be costly. They usually charge anywhere between 10 to 20% of your
entire budget. That's a lot of money if you aren't willing to spend $100,000 on your
wedding.
In my opinion it really depends on your personality. If you are unorganized, can't multi-
task well, and your fiancé isn't really that much of a help, maybe just consulting a
wedding planner for tips on certain aspects, such as your budget or vendor referrals is
the way to go. They can charge you per service and not just for the whole package. If
your budget allows though, I highly suggest hiring a personal assistant/”day of
consultant”. Whether or not you go for a professional, or just someone who's very
accommodating and ready to help you on that day, it is definitely a necessity. You really
need someone who is going to be on top of things, to make sure that you eat, you're
being hydrated, that your hair and make-up are fine, etc.
Now that we have gone over who they are and what they do, it's up to you to figure out if they're
worth the money or not.
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Chapter 2
PICK YOUR BRIDAL PARTY
Choosing attendants consists of the following eight key points, which I would like to share with
you.
● Your attendants should have a meaningful relationship, which has stood the test of time,
with either the bride or the groom. These aren't friends that you've just made a month
ago. These are the friends and family members
who have stuck by you through thick and thin, and
have had a great impact on your life. They will be
your friends for probably the next twenty, thirty,
forty, or fifty years.
● Your attendants need to be responsible. What if

the groom wants to have some of his fraternity
brothers from college? That’s fine, if they have
remained close friends and they've matured.
However, if they still think they are eighteen years
old and in college, this might not be such a great
idea. Besides you want your groom to show up
sober to the wedding, right!
● Your attendants should be able to afford the numerous costs that come with this honor.
They should be able to cover the expenses for their attire, travel, and contribute to the
costs of the bridal shower, bachelor or bachelorette parties.
● Your attendants should also be able and willing to take on additional duties. These are
people who you can call up at 6:00pm on a Friday night crying that you haven’t finished
your invitations yet. They should offer to come over and be willing to take on the
responsibility of helping to complete those invitations. They should be people that will
make themselves available to you when you are in a bind. These are the people who
should be able to help you run errands. They’re supposed to be making your day and
the time leading up to this day memorable and easier for you. So, be sure to pick your
people wisely. They should be dependable and able to do additional things, as opposed
to people who just like to stand there and look pretty for the camera.
● Your attendants should not be chosen out of any obligation. Don’t let someone tell you
that you must choose cousin Theresa because they were in your mother’s bridal party.
This is not the way to do it. You want people that you're close to and share a
camaraderie with. You want people whose presence you'll enjoy as much as they'll enjoy
yours. Don’t pick anyone because you feel that you have to – you don’t!
● Having two best men and two maids/matrons of honor is common and absolutely
acceptable. If you have two sisters, but simply can’t decide between the two, then
choose them both. Not only will they be able to split the duties as to who should do what
for you, but they'll both have that feeling of being very special. Also, if you have two
best friends you can go ahead and choose both. Not one person will be offended if you
choose two people to play the same role. This is your day. It’s totally up to you – have
three if you want!
● You are not obligated to pick one or more of your siblings to be your maid of honor,
matron of honor, or best man. This simply means that you pick the most responsible
person for this particular position, who will best be able to accommodate you with
everything that is requested of them. This is the person you want standing by your side
on your wedding day. Someone you know who would take a bullet for you! I know that
sounds a little extreme, but it's only taken out of context. Remember, we're talking
imaginary bullet here! Bottom line is that you need people around you whom you can
trust. People who will be of some advantage to you, and also possess the ability and
understanding to share your feelings with. Now, if it happens that you're not that close
with your brother or sister, then don’t choose either one to be your number one in
command – so to speak!
● While I said that you shouldn’t choose anyone out of obligation, the one exception
should be the choice of your fiancé’s siblings - which is usually a good idea. Did I say “a

good idea”, what I really meant was “a great idea”! If he has two sisters it will be in every
ones best interest to include both in your bridal party. Trust me, twenty years down the
road you will thank me for this tip! Even if you aren’t close to them, or they’re ten years
older or ten years your junior, in the long run it will be appreciated and remembered by
both sides of the family. It will go a long way in strengthening your relationship with your
intendeds’ family. Fortunately, my husband and I both jumped at the idea of having
each other’s siblings in our wedding party. This was one less problem for us to deal with.
Every little bit helps!
Now that you know the eight key points on choosing your bridal attendants – get to it!
TOP 3 EXPENSES FOR THE WEDDING PARTY
You may wonder: “Why do I need to know how much they're spending? It’s my day and I
already have enough to worry about.” You have to worry about what they are spending, simply
because you don’t want to impose on anyone who may not
have the necessary funds. You also want to be able to explain
the expenses that they will incur, so that they can make an
informed decision. There are three top expenses. I will explain
each expense to you in great detail. First and foremost is the
attire. Second is travel and transportation. And last is the pre-
wedding contribution.
Attire
Simply to be dressed appropriately, the female attendant has
the responsibility of purchasing an assortment of items:
● Dress: The cost is an important factor when choosing

a dress. Make sure that it is a reasonable amount of
money. Remember, they will probably only wear this
dress one time.

● Shoes: Please be sure to pick out affordable and comfortable shoes. Try to choose a
shoe that doesn’t need dyeing, so that your bridesmaids can wear them over and over
again.
● Accessories: Jewelry has become a popular attendant’s gift from the bride. If you're
going to take this route and save your attendants this expense, be sure that this is not
the only gift you're giving. I will delve into that in a later chapter.
● Purse: It's a well-known fact that most women can’t go anywhere with simply having just
one or two things in their possession. We need a purse to carry all our necessities -
including money and cell phones.
● Hair and makeup: If your budget allows - you can treat your bridesmaids to their hair
and makeup. Even if your budget doesn’t allow - there are two other options you can
resort too.
○ Have your bridesmaids go to a specific place for hair and makeup.
○ Give brief guidelines as to what you would like their hair to look like, and what
type of makeup you would prefer them to wear. Using these guidelines will help
them find someone to do their hair and makeup in their own particular price
range. This is probably the best way to go!
Always give your attendants options to choose from: an expensive or inexpensive option – both
of which you will be happy with. At least they won’t be put on the spot of having to pay more
money than they can possibly afford.
A little personal input regarding my own wedding: I had a large bridal party at my wedding.
When It came to picking the dresses, I narrowed it down to 3 dresses, which were all in the
same price range and let the bridesmaids vote on their favorite. The dress that received the
most votes was the dress they wore. In regards to shoes, I simply asked that they use their
judgment and be comfortable. I trusted their fashion sense enough to not worry about it. They
all wore shoes that were comfortable for them, and ranged from three-inch heels to flats. The
dresses covered their shoes so it really didn’t matter to me. I had the same outlook for their hair
and makeup as I did their shoes. My thought process was simple - they were all gorgeous

women who knew what looked best for them. Since not everyone looks good with their hair in
an updo or down, I let them decide. In the end, I was thrilled because they all looked flawlessly
beautiful and natural.
Let’s move on to the male attendants. They have it slightly easier!

● They must rent a tuxedo that commonly consists of a jacket, a pair of pants, a tie, and a
vest or a cummerbund. In every neighborhood there are tons of places to go to rent
tuxedos, and just like everything else in the world, there is the high end and low end of
the spectrum. Your best bet is to not go where everybody else goes, tells you to go, or
has gone, but rather go to the place where you feel most comfortable. Go to the place
where you have already spoken with the personnel at the store, believe they can provide
you with a quality tuxedo at a reasonable price, and where they will include any type of
alterations that are required.
● Another expense for male attendants are shoes. Most stores in metro areas such as
New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles include the price of the shoes as part of the
package when renting a tuxedo. This added feature will save your male attendants a lot
of money, and save you the worry of their shoes possibly not matching their tuxedo.
● Next, there are the accessories, which are items that are usually included when renting a
tuxedo - such as cuff links or tiepins. You can let your attendants know if they have to
buy anything specific. Most guys’ attires are a lot easier to determine than girls.
Travel and Transportation

Depending upon where your ceremony and reception are located, your attendants may need to
spend money on gas for their car, which nowadays isn’t inexpensive. Another expense could
be the rental of a car. If it’s a destination wedding, they may have to incur a plane or train ticket
fee, and may even have to pay for an overnight hotel reservation.
When you’re choosing the location of your wedding, please remember these few details when
considering your attendants and guests. Try to make things easier for all involved by locating a
rental car company that can offer you a discount for group car rentals. As far as planes, trains,
and hotels, you may want to speak with a travel agent or directly to a hotel, airline, or train

company to obtain a group discount code. This way your bridal party will be saving money, and
have a specific place to stay overnight.
Pre-wedding Celebrations
When you're asking someone to be a part of your wedding, you're asking them not only to show
up the day of your wedding, but to also show up at four to five different pre-wedding
celebrations.
● The first one is the engagement party - if you choose to have one.
● Second are the bridal showers. I use the plural tense because many people tend to
have more then one bridal shower. In most areas the bridesmaids pay for the bridal
shower. Even if that isn’t the case, they usually are expected to give a more expensive
gift.
● The bridal party has to be responsible for sharing the cost of the bachelor and
bachelorette parties. It is no longer just the responsibility of the maid of honor and the
best man to incur all the costs of these two parties.
● The fourth is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. No real costs are incurred when it
comes to this because the attendants are not required to give gifts for either the
rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. The attendants do have to incur the cost of getting to the
rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Depending on the time, date, and location, it might cost
them quite a bit of money.
Just be aware of these three areas when asking your family and friends to be a part of your
wedding party.

OTHER IMPORTANT JOBS
There are jobs you can give your friends and family who are not a part of your bridal party.
These five jobs show that you care about these people, that they are important to you, and that
you want to include them in your wedding day. Just because they're not necessarily in your
bridal party doesn't mean you don't have the ability to make them feel special.
● Readers: Why not give someone, who is exceptional at giving speeches or talking in
public, the job of reading at your ceremony. Regardless of the religion or the ceremony
of choice, there are always at least
one or two readings that must be
given.
● Photographer or Videographer:
I'm not saying you shouldn't get
professionals, but you could
entrust one of your friends who is
excellent at taking photos and
videos to do this job. Give him/her
your personal camera so that by
the end of the day your wedding photos will instantly be available for viewing. Today,
digital cameras and digital video recorders make many jobs a lot simpler. Wouldn't it be
great to see those pictures of your entire wedding minutes after it has ended while
relaxing in your hotel room?
● Singer: If you have a family member or a friend who has an exceptional voice - why
not highlight them by having them sing during the ceremony or reception!
● Musician: If someone plays an instrument, and I don't mean an electric guitar or the
drums, but a violin or some other appropriate instrument - why not let them play at the
ceremony or reception. You automatically now have a musician for free, and that person

in turn will be appreciated for his/her talent.
● Planner: Have your most organized friend or family member aid you in your planning
process for free. You can ask your Aunt Mary by saying, "Aunt Mary, you’re the most
organized person I know. Would you be available to help me plan my entire wedding".
Do you have any idea how absolutely thrilled and honored Aunt Mary will feel?
These are the five jobs, which you can delegate to others. Maybe you wanted to include them
in your bridal party, but it wasn’t possible. Instead of having fifty-seven people in your bridal
party, you've still managed to make them a part of your wedding day by having them participate
with behind the scene tasks. See, you've made everyone happy now!
HIGHLIGHTED WEDDING PARTY DUTIES
Besides simply posing and looking pretty for pictures, your

wedding party will be responsible for specific tasks which will
help keep the day running smoothly.
Maid/Matron of Honor - Now, how do you decide between the

two? Well, that's simple. The maid of honor is an unmarried
woman, and the matron of honor is a married woman. See -
the choice has been made easy for you!
● She's also considered the bride's "right hand gal" or

"gal Friday". Anything that the bride needs help with,
the maid or matron of honor or let's simply call her
“MOH” will be there to help in any way possible.
● She attends all pre-wedding celebrations and consults with the mother of the bride
and/or the mother of the groom for the coordination of both the bridal shower and
bachelorette parties.
● She pays for her own attire and her own transportation.

● She coordinates with the bridesmaids. This means at times she will act as a liaison for
the bride. If you're having a very large wedding party, say ten girls, you can't be calling
every single girl for every little thing. That's what your MOH is for.
● She's also going to collect the bride's attire after the reception. If the bride changes her
clothing after the reception and is immediately going on her honeymoon, the MOH is
responsible for the collection of her dress, veil, undergarments, shoes, and whatnot.
Thereafter, bringing the clothes to the cleaners in accordance with the bride's wishes.
● She also assists with the writing of the invitations and thank you notes.
Best Man
● He is the groom's right hand man.
● He is also going to attend all pre-wedding celebrations, coordinate the bachelor party,
and pay for his own attire and transportation.
● Here is where his job gets really important! He gives the "big toast" at the reception. No
one really ever discusses the father of the bride's toast or even the groom's toast for that
matter. It's always the best man's toast. So, be sure your best man is someone who is
a relatively good public speaker. He doesn't have to be an eloquent speaker, "good" is
acceptable. Depending on who he is and what his relationship is to the groom - be sure
that someone proof reads his toast to make sure that it contains appropriate material.
● He is also responsible for driving the couple to their destination after the reception.
Whether it is their hotel, home, or straight to the airport, he is the one who is responsible
for the driving. Therefore, he can't be drinking in excess throughout the entire day.
● He's also responsible for all parents and grandparents getting home safely. He doesn't
necessarily have to drive them all home, but it is his job to find them adequate
transportation if it hasn't already been provided.

Bridesmaids
● Act as deputy hostesses at the reception.
● Attend all pre-wedding celebrations.
● Pay for their attire and transportation.
● Help the bride as needed with wedding tasks.
Junior Bridesmaids
● These are any girls in your party between the ages of eight and sixteen.
● Their dresses are just a little bit different, not extremely different, but just enough so that
there is a distinction between the older and younger girls.
● Their parents pay for their attire and transportation, unless they have a job and choose
to pay for it themselves.
● Junior bridesmaids attend all pre-wedding celebrations as deemed appropriate. For

example, they usually don't attend the bachelorette party.
● Junior bridesmaids also help with the children. Just as the older regular bridesmaids act
as deputy hostesses for the reception, the junior bridesmaids similarly act as hostesses
for the children. They help corral them, get them to settle down, and whatnot.
Side Note: If you have a large bridal party with numerous girls of different ages, there seems to
be a new trend that is being followed. For instance, on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon
everyone in the bridal party goes out together and does an activity that is appropriate for all
ages. Then later in the evening the younger girls return home and the older girls go out and do
more of an adult activity. This is definitely acceptable and a perfect medium to include
everyone.

Groomsmen and Ushers
● Any male that is not the groom or best man is considered a groomsman or usher.
● They attend all pre-wedding celebrations.
● They pay for their own attire and transportation.
● They will help the groom with wedding tasks as needed.
● They seat guests prior to the ceremony. For Christian weddings the bride's family sits
on the left side of the church, and the groom's family sits on the right. Jewish weddings
are the reverse. The bride's family sits on the right side of the temple, and the groom's
family sits on the left side. Review this with the groomsmen and ushers in order to help
them seat guests properly.
● They distribute the wedding programs prior to the ceremony, and the birdseed after the
ceremony. If you're having bubbles, rose pedals, or having a butterfly release after the
ceremony for your guests - they're the ones who will be in charge.
● They also handle the aisle runner for the bride. And I'm not referring to some guy
running down the aisle - a little joke here to see if you are still with me? Good, so let's
move on!
Flower Girls
● Usually between the ages of four and eight. These ages are not set in stone so use your
judgment. I had three flower girls for my wedding. One girl was 3 years old at the time
and the other two were 4 years old.
● Traditionally, the bride pays for the flower girl's attire.
● The girl’s parents, however, pay for any and all transportation.

● Attends all pre-wedding celebrations, but usually not the bachelorette party.
Ring and/or Train Bearers
● Simply holds a pillow, or some type of object that contains the actual rings or symbolic
rings, and carries them down the aisle directly towards the bride and groom.
● The trainbearer is a young boy that actually lifts the bride's train off the floor and helps to
carry it down the aisle.
● Usually between the ages of four and eight.
● The groom pays for their attire.
● The children's parents pay for any transportation.
● Attends all pre-wedding celebrations but usually not the bachelor party.
If you have someone who you would like to ask to be a part of your wedding, but who is
incapable of handling any or all responsibilities, I strongly advise you to choose someone else.
You can give that person a different job to compensate for this action. Remember, you want
your day to run smoothly and problem free.
CREATING A GUEST LIST
Who do you invite to one of the most important days in your life?
1. Rule #1: Invite people that you share a history with and will be a part of your future.
2. Rule #2: Be consistent to a fault. Don't set down a rule but then make exceptions for
certain people. Therefore, if you say that second cousins can't come, well, then you
can't invite even one.

3. Rule #3: “Have they been there for you?" Has this person been around when you've
really needed them, or has simply been that type of
fly-by-night individual? You know the type I'm referring
to. The one who you've only spoken with
intermittently, and would only pop up when he/she
needed a favor.
When compiling a list, other than family, divide your friends

into three different groups.
● The first group is your best friends. These are the
ones who have always been there for you. You are
always with them. You can't imagine going out on a
Friday night without them. They are so close to you
that they almost feel like a brother or sister.
● The second group is your regular friends who you enjoy hanging out with, who aren't as
close as a brother or sister, but more like a cousin.
● The third group is your acquaintances. These are the people you see once in a while,
like the relatives you only see at family functions.
Now that you have your friends divided into three lists - let’s prioritize them.
● Your best friends come first.
● Then your regular friends.
● Lastly your acquaintances.
This will better help you organize your guest list.
The next topic you must tackle is the “and guests” question. The first thing when it comes to the
this issue is to ask the question “Do you have the money to afford those extra people?” You
have two options to choose from.
● There is the with guest option. The pro is that you keep the guests happy, and no one
gets upset that you're omitting their best friend or girlfriend. The con is that it's an

additional cost. Remember, for each person that comes you must pay for his or her
meal and favor.
● There is the without guest option which saves you money, but upsets guests every so
often. If you're taking this route you have to tell the truth. If asked, simply tell the people
that you are going to keep the party small. You don't have to go into detail, but don't lie.
The next aspect you must consider are the kids. Please remember there is nothing wrong with
having an "adult only" reception. First you have to decide whether or not you want to invite kids.
● If you go the "adult only" route:
○ Be sure to include this information on the invitation.
○ You can also explain (if you feel the need to) on an enclosed note in the invitation
why you're not inviting children.
○ Excluding any children in the bridal party, there should be no exceptions. You
can't tell everyone that you're not allowing anyone under the age of ten, and then
your six-year-old cousin is at the reception.
● If you're allowing kids to come to the wedding, please be sure to ask yourself a few
questions:
○ What are the age limits? Are you going to let everyone from birth attend or
anyone over the age of five (maybe even ten). You should set an age limit.
Whatever it is please make sure you include it in the personalized note inside the
invitation sent to these families.
○ Will you have designated seating for the children, or will they be sitting with their
parents?
○ Will the children be able to have their own menu, or will the parents have to make
sure their meat is cut for them?

○ Will you have child-friendly entertainment? There is nothing worse then a bored
six year-old. If you're going to allow children - will there be something there to
keep them busy?
○ Will childcare be offered to parents? If so, you're going to have to pay for that
person's dinner as well as any additional fees there may be.
The next point of discussion is co-workers.
● First and foremost, an invitation must be extended to your current boss if you have been
working for a period of six months or longer.
● You should only invite people who you are truly close with - who fit into a friend category.
However, If you have a small office try not to single out one or two people. This may
cause a lot of tension, and you want to avoid tension whenever possible.
● Remember your office is a place of work, so try not to discuss your wedding as a daily
event type of thing. As with your engagement, don't go into the office and announce that
your wedding invitations have gone out. Whoever receives it - receives it! Whoever
doesn't - doesn't!
There are people who don't fit into a specific category but who have impacted your life. An
example may be a neighbor who took care of you, as if you were their own child, for years and
years; possibly that high school teacher with whom you've maintained an active relationship. If
you have the space and the finances, these individuals should definitely receive an invitation.
There is another category of guest to consider, the "respect" invitations. Now, surely not
everyone likes certain people that are going to be invited to their wedding. There may be that
aunt that you loathe. But, some people need to receive an invitation to avoid a lot of hurt
feelings and family drama. The second group of people you have to send a "respect invitation"
to are the people who have informed you beforehand that they actually will not be able to attend
your wedding. Maybe your best friend is going overseas the day of your wedding. You still

have to send an invitation. Be sure to mark them down appropriately on your list that they are
definite invites.
When putting together your completed guest list, you’ll actually be combining four lists:
● The bride
● The groom
● The bride's parents
● The groom's parents.
Each of them are going to submit two lists.

1. There is going to be List A that are the people that must receive an invitation.
2. List B will have the optional invitations: people who they would like to invite, prioritized in
order of importance. If you have forty-nine people on List A, but you are allowing fifty for
each list, then the first person on List B is going to get an invitation.
The List Layout has to be very specific and is best done on a spreadsheet such as Excel as
follows:
● Full name of the person or people you're inviting: i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Jr.
● Complete current mailing address: i.e. 123 Main Street, New York, NY 10001.
● Current phone number. This will come in handy if the RSVP date has passed and you
haven’t received their reply. You're going to have to call these people to find out if
they're coming.
● An email address is optional but good to have. This helps for last minute changes,
maybe directions, or something of the sort that they may need.
● The number of attendees. If you send an invitation to the Smith family you need to know
how many people from the Smith family are actually attending.

You know who to invite, how to invite them, and how to get your guest list started. Well - get to
it!
THE ART OF GETTING MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK
We're going to talk about the top ten things to do before signing a contract.
● The More the Merrier. Get three or four quotes before putting a deposit down. If you
really like a place or a vendor ask them for a "pencil hold". This is a temporary one to
two-week hold without a deposit.
● Momma told you to shop around. Don't

hesitate to let vendors know that you're
shopping around. They may try to match
the price of another equal competitor.
● It's included. Get a full list of what is or

isn't included in the price. If you don't want
or need certain services that are included
in their price, will their price change to
accommodate you?
● Tummy Test. Always trust your first

impression or instinct. Even though the
hall is beautiful, but the contact personnel
make you feel uneasy - walk away. It's not
going to be worth it in the end if you are uncomfortable with the people who work there,
or there is just something about that place that hits you the wrong way. Trust your
instincts!
● The past dictates the future. Remember to request to see photos from their previous
events. You can also obtain a lot of ideas from them. The photos will give you a better

idea of what they can or can't do.
● Poker Face. Don't give up your hand by showing too much emotion. It is very common
for vendors, who aren't on the up and up, to possibly increase the price slightly because
they see that you're excited about their establishment.
● Low-ball your Budget. They might inquire as to how much you're willing to spend. Don't
give them the true amount because you'll probably wind up paying that amount. Always
give them a lower figure that is reasonable. Even if you end up paying that number you'll
still end up saving money in the long run. For example, if you have $500.00 earmarked
for your cake, tell the baker you only have $400.00. So, if you end up paying that
$400.00 you'll save $100.00.
● Always meet with the Managers. These are the people who usually have the authority to
cut prices on a person-by-person basis. If you meet first with a sales representative he
or she will still have to get the approval from the manager. And meeting directly with the
managers brings your encounter to a more personal level. So, you're more frequently
going to get that discount.
● Channel your inner Barbara. Ask as many questions as you want. Silly or not - but the
more information you have the easier your decision will be. The best way to ask all
these questions is to be prepared - have a list with you. It shows that you're in charge,
you know what you're doing, and you’re not about to be taken advantage of.
● Two are better than One. Before signing contracts or placing deposits on anything, visit
the vendor with your husband-to-be. This way you're both in tune as to what's
happening. If one of you has forgotten to ask something that may be pertinent to your
decision the other one might remember. Two heads are always better than one.

TOP 10 QUESTIONS TO ASK ALL VENDORS
We are going to be discussing the top ten questions you should

ask all vendors. Of course there will be specific questions for
each vendor. For example, in regards to your florist you will ask
what type of flowers are available for certain times of the year,
and what they are capable of doing as far as arrangements are
concerned. However, there are ten questions you should ask
every single vendor. I will be going over each of these questions,
and what possible answers you should expect from each vendor.
Here goes!
1. Are you available for the day of my wedding? That is the first and foremost question you
should have the answer to. This question will help you to weed out certain vendors from
the beginning. You definitely do not want to proceed with an entire interview process,
and at the end suddenly realize that the vendor is not available for your particular date.
That's the sort of waste of time you want to avoid. My best advice is to inquire about
their availability when you make an appointment on the phone.
2. Are there any other bookings going on the day of my wedding? Depending on the
vendor, this may cause a problem. You don't want to be overly pressured by the amount
of time that is available. You don't want to be put in a position where you have to rush
your wedding celebration in order to make way for the next booked party. Be sure to
take this into consideration.
3. Are they fully insured? If something goes wrong you want to know if they have the
necessary insurance coverage to compensate for the problem. Also, you want to know
how the Better Business Bureau of your metro area has ranked them.
4. Are there any hidden costs we haven't discussed? Costs such as security, valet parking,
proofs, etc. You want to make sure every single cost is explained to you, so that you
know where every single penny is going.

5. Are there any restrictions we haven't discussed? Some vendors may not allow you to
use candles for fear of a fire occurring. Some florists may not use certain flowers or may
not want to have them flown in. Be sure you find out if there are any restrictions in
advance. Make sure everything you have discussed is also in writing in your contract,
and signed by both parties.
6. What is your cancellation or postponement policy? In case of a death in the family,

extreme weather, or illness, you want to make sure that you have some type of leeway if
you need to change the date - heaven forbid!
7. In regards to the deposit you want to ask them - How much is needed?, What is the
deadline date?, What forms of payment are accepted? What is their refund policy?"
You need to make sure that as far as the deposit is concerned you have covered all
bases and are safe. You will want to know exactly how much is needed, their deadline
date, and what forms of payment are acceptable. If they request that the deposit be
cash, make sure you inquire as to why this is necessary. Remember, cash isn't
traceable and you want to be sure that the vendor you're dealing with is doing the right
thing. You also want to make sure that they offer some type of refund policy. For
whatever reason you might cancel the party, your deposit may not be refundable if you
cancel only five days prior to the event. If you cancel within a reasonable amount of time
prior to your wedding you may be entitled to the return of your deposit. So, be sure of
what their policies are as far as the deposit or any other types of payment are
concerned.
8. Can we please see your portfolio of your work on past events? Be sure to find out what
they can do and what they've done before. The worst thing that you could possibly do is
to take someone’s word as to what they are capable of doing for you, and then on the
day of your wedding find out that they really can't do what they’ve promised. Now, you
have paid all this money out for something that they can't deliver.
9. Would you be able to provide us with verifiable references? Be sure that they can give
you the names, phone numbers, addresses, or email addresses, of clients that they
have serviced in the past. This way if you really like a vendor, you can contact their

clients and find out what their specific experience was with this vendor.
10. What do you envision for our wedding? Be sure to ask this question of every vendor,
because this will be the telltale sign of the competence of the vendor you wish to work
with. If they're the type of people who can say to you, "Well, since you're having a fall
wedding I suggest flush flowers with deep, warm hues” - that's great! Be sure that you
obtain their input as to what they envision for your wedding. If they simply supply you
with what you ask for with no amount of creativity involved, they probably won't have the
capability of being too helpful when it comes to what you envision for your wedding.
Make sure you ask these ten questions, because each vendor will have their own specific
answer for you. And for the most part the answers to these questions should be pretty cut and
dry, honest and to the point! For example, what if they have a no refund policy and something
does happen? You need to be sure of these things. Remember, better safe than sorry!
TIPPING TIPS
● The standard gratuity across the United States is 15

to 20% for good service, 25% for exceptional service,
and 12.5 % for service that isn't that great.
● The best man or the father of the bride usually does

tipping. This is not usually done by the groom or the
bride, simply because this is your day and you're not
supposed to be handling these matters.
● Tips should always be presented in sealed, marked

envelopes, and should always include thank you
stationery.
● Tipping for caterers is divided into two parts. The standard is 15-20%, which is paid in
advance and included in the contract. At the end of the evening it is customary to pay

$3 to $5 dollars per guest to given to the maitre d’.
● Bartenders usually receive 15-20% of the total bar bill if paid at the end of the evening.
Tip jars are a no-no! They should not be asking for tips from the guests or have
anything on top of the bar that implies that they are expecting tips.
● If the following tips aren’t included in the gratuity of the reception hall (usually in the
contract), then coat checks, valets, or restroom attendants should receive $1 to $3
dollars per guest, paid prior to the reception in order to off set tips from the guests.
Again, may I stress that tipping jars are definitely a no-no!
● As far as transportation is concerned, 20% of the total bill is given to each driver. If you
have four drivers then you give 20% of the total bill to each driver. This is paid at the
end of the transaction. The last time you see your driver is when you pay them. If it's
prior to the ceremony then that's when you pay them. If it's after the reception and
they're dropping you off at your destination, then that's when you give them their tips.
● Musicians customarily receive $25 to $75 per band member if you have a band. If the
band is exceptional then $75 is typically safe for each member. $30 to $35 is the
average for tipping band members. DJs usually get 15-20% of the total bill.
● If the photographers and/or videographers are the owners of their companies they
usually don’t accept tips. If they aren’t the owners the typical tip ranges from $75 to
$150 depending on the amount of time they are with you.
● Officiants usually receive $50-$100. Alter servers are commonly tipped $25-$50 each.
● Hair and makeup artist tips are 15-20% of your total bill.
Now that you know what specific vendors to tip, there are certain vendors you never have to tip.
Florists and bakers are two of them.

Chapter 3
WHERE TO SAY "I DO"
There are three different places where you can say,

"I do" and have your ceremony. I'm going to touch
upon each of them, give you a few examples, and
also some highlights pertinent to each one.
● The first is a house of worship. By house of

worship I mean places such as a church, a
synagogue, a mosque, or a temple. These
places will make your parents very happy,
and they're also traditional houses of
worship. If you are going for that traditional
formal wedding, or you're simply religious
and feel that this is the place you've always
dreamed you should get married, a house of
worship is definitely the place to go.
● The second place is outdoors. Some examples where ceremonies can take place are a
park, a ranch, a beach, a family backyard, a golf course, a country club, or a city
landmark. When taking pictures outdoors you're most definitely going to get great shots
because of the natural lighting? However, just remember that weather concerns play a
much larger role when ceremonies are held outdoors. You'll need to have a backup plan
in case of foul weather such as rain or snow.
● The third place in which you can have your ceremony in indoors. Places such as a
hotel, a museum, a restaurant, a family home, a community or church center, or a
college theater. While weather is not as big a concern for indoor ceremonies, you must

always take into consideration the occupancy limits for each location. Examples of this
would be a family home or restaurant where there is a limit as to the amount of people
that can fit on the premises at any given time. Be sure to check out these numbers prior
to settling on one place.
One great tip on how you can save money for your entire wedding is to have your ceremony
and reception in the same establishment - not exactly in the same room - but at least on the
same grounds.
● This makes traveling much easier for everyone.
● You don't have to pay for transportation between the ceremony and reception, and your
guests will appreciate it because it’s less traveling for them.
● In the long run you may get a discount because you're using the location for a longer
time period.
Always ask to be penciled in anywhere you really like. Temporary bookings without leaving a
deposit are very common, they usually only last one to two weeks maximum. Therefore, be
prepared that if someone comes in looking for the same date and time that you've been
penciled in for, and are willing to put down a deposit right then and there -- you may be erased.
Remember your ceremony location is both your decision, and should be chosen by which one
fits your formality and your personality as a couple.
QUESTIONS FOR THE CEREMONY VENDOR
Here are a few questions for you to specifically ask ceremony vendors.
● How long can I use the site? You want to be sure that you will have the site for an
ample amount of time to decorate, have your guests comfortably come in and sit at their
leisure, for your entire ceremony to take place, and for any type of receiving line or

photos to be taken post ceremony.
● What tools or accessories does the site offer? Some of these are aisle runners, musical
instruments, and musical talent. If an organist is part of your house of worship’s total
fee, then why not use that person instead of paying for additional musicians.
● How many guests can be seated comfortably? Some places will tell you that you can
seat fifty but it will hold one hundred, which means fifty people will be standing or
hanging from the chandeliers! You have to take this into consideration when it comes to
your guest list and the location.
● Is there parking available for all of your guests? If you live in the metro area you should
realize that usually it's very difficult to find a parking space. So, please take into
consideration the parking situation of your ceremony. Your guests don't want to be
driving around for hours, and possibly having to miss your ceremony only because they
couldn't find a parking spot for their car.
● Is the site cooled and/or heated? If you're having your wedding in the third week of July
in Florida, you want to make sure that the place has air conditioning. If you're having
your wedding on New Year's Eve in New York City, you definitely want to make sure that
the place is heated. These small environmental things may not seem like a problem, but
when your guests are sitting there for an hour or more, it becomes a huge concern.
● Can we use our personal or family officiant? This question is very important. If you
have a family minister or rabbi that you're close with, that you've always wanted to have
perform your ceremony, or that you've known forever - find out if you can use them. It
will help personalize your ceremony that much more.
● The next question, depending on your guest list - Is the site handicap accessible? You
want to make sure that people with any type of disability will be able to get in and out of
the site smoothly and safely without any harm coming to them.
● What restrictions are there? Some restrictions may be musical selections, bridal attire or
decorations. Be certain to find out what these restrictions are in advance. You don't
want to pick out a bunch of contemporary tunes only to find out that you can't use
contemporary music during your ceremony at this venue. Also, you don't want to spend
thousands of dollars on your bridal dress only to be told that it's inappropriate for this
venue.
● As far as the photographers and videographers are concerned you should also find out,
where they're allowed to go and what they're allowed to do? If you truly want an
overhead shot of the ceremony, say from a balcony, it’s good to know if your
photographer is allowed up there.
● How personalized can we make the ceremony? If it's important for you to highlight
certain people or events, or for your readings to be more personalized than
standardized, you must make sure to find out if this is allowed in advance. You want to
be absolutely sure that you can do these things.
● Do personal vows need to be approved in advance? If you are allowed to personalize

vows, find out if they need to be approved in advance. There are some things that your
officiant or the ceremonial site may consider inappropriate for your wedding. You want
to make sure that everything that goes on in their venue is up to their standards as well.
Be sure to ask your ceremony vendors all of these questions, and even more if you have any
prior to signing any contracts or putting any deposits down.
PROCESSION
Let’s discuss the Procession in regards to your ceremony. First item on the list is the music.
Not so much what music is being played, but how exactly it's run.
● There are usually two to three songs during the procession depending on who is
entering and where. If you have the clergy, your officiant, or anyone else who is
participating in the ceremony walking into the room to a particular song, you don't want

your parents walking in while the same song is playing. You don't want anyone else
entering the room to the same song that your bridal party uses to make its entrance.
● As far as the music is concerned you should consult with the ceremony site as well as
the officiant. You should discuss what songs you've chosen, how long they are going to
play, and at what point everyone enters.
The Order of the Procession
● The first people to walk down the aisle after the

guests have been seated are the ceremony
assistants such as altar servers, etc.
● Right behind them are the readers followed by

the officiant. Many people decide to not have
any of these people walk in. Instead they have
them already at the front of wherever the
ceremony is taking place. For example, if the
ceremony was being held in a church they
would be standing at the foot of the altar.
● Usually immediately after the officiant, you

have the groom and the best man. Again, some people decide not to have this happen,
but instead have both men walk in from the side of the room. This is totally your
decision. The whole entrance protocol actually depends on how much attention you
want given to the groom and best man. Also, how much attention you want given to the
ceremonial assistants, readers, and officiants.
● Following them or starting it off, depending on what you have decided to do, we have
notable family members such as parents and grandparents. They're always escorted in.
Depending on your ceremony they're either accompanying the groom or the bride, as
done today in some Christian weddings, or a groomsman or usher escorts them in.

● Next, we have the junior attendants followed by the bridal party. Keep in mind that the
first one in will always be the last to leave. Remember that when you're lining up your
girls and guys. Traditionally, the entrants are usually placed according to the order of
their height. You don’t have to do this, but for most people it is considered the easiest
and most uniformed way. It also eliminates any hard feelings by people who may feel
that they should be closer to you or possibly first to enter.
● After the bridal party makes their entrance we then have the ring bearers.
● Immediately following the ring bearers is the maid/matron of honor. She enters by
herself with no escort.
● Next the flower girls make their entrance.
● Right after the flower girls, we have the bride and her escort, usually her dad or another
prominent man in her life, make their entrance to a different song then what was used for
the previous entrants.
Your procession should not last more then a few minutes. Actually, this time frame depends on
how grand you want your ceremony to be, so pick your musical selections accordingly. Timing
everything as well as you can during your rehearsal, will have everyone feeling more assured
and comfortable when walking in. Keep in mind the religion traditions of the bride and groom.
For example, in Christian ceremonies the female attendants will be entering from the left. The
bride's family will also be seated on the left. The groom's attendants and family will be on the
right. This is reversed for Jewish ceremonies. The bride's family members are on the right,
therefore, the ladies enter from the right, and the groom's family and attendants are to the left.
UNITY CANDLE
The Unity Candle consists of three candles situated at the front of the ceremonial site.
● There is usually a small candle on the left representing the bride and her family.

● A small candle on the right representing the groom and his family.
● A larger candle in the center representing the joining of the couple and both of their
families.
Who lights what candle?

● Usually the mothers of the bride and the groom light the two candles that are on the left
and right.
○ They each light the candle, which
symbolizes their own child.
○ This can be done at the beginning of the

ceremony immediately after they've been
escorted into the room.
○ They can proceed straight up to the front

of the ceremonial site, light a candle, and
return to their respective places.
○ It can also be done during the ceremony

prior to the couple lighting the center unity
candle.
● The couple lights the Unity Candle during the ceremony immediately after their vows.
This candle is lit usually during a musical interlude. Since a song lasts a few minutes,
be sure to take your time. Wait approximately a minute before you even stand up. Then
go light the candle.
Please be careful of the hot wax from the candles that have been burning for a long time. If
your mothers have lit their candles at the beginning of the ceremony, which probably was about
twenty to thirty minutes ago, a puddle of hot wax will have accumulated at the bottom of each
candle.

Be sure not to blow out your individual candles. Simply return them back to their original
positions. These candles are a symbolic way of joining both families. If you blow out your own
candle it's like saying that your individual life no longer exists. Of course this isn't true. Your
individual life still exists. You're simply making it better by joining together your life with
someone else.
While this has become a new trend over the past ten or fifteen years, it's not part of any
religious ceremony. It's actually not considered part of the official marriage ceremony for any
religion. Be sure to check with your ceremonial site to find out if it is allowed, and if it's going to
be shown reverence.
RECEIVING LINES
Receiving lines are usually done after the ceremony when

the bride and the groom walk to the back of the ceremonial
site. Please remember that the more people you have in
your receiving line, the more time this is going to take.
Obviously time equals money in this situation. You're
paying the photographer and the videographer to stand
around and do very little. To alleviate this problem, be sure
to keep it short and sweet.
Try to spend less then one minute with each person. Keep
it to a quick hello, “thank you for coming”, “so glad to see
you”, an inside joke, a little chuckle, and then on to the next
person. There are three different types of receiving lines. I
am going to go over each of them and who should be in each one.
● Classic Line. This line will consist of the mothers of the bride and groom, the bride and
groom, the maid or matron of honor, and all of the bridesmaids. While this line is in
existence, the fathers of the bride and groom, the best man, and the groomsmen should

be mingling with the guests who are waiting said line.
● Semi Classic Line. This line consists of the parents of the bride, followed by the parents
of the groom, the bride and groom, the maid or matron of honor, and the bridesmaids.
Once again the best man and the groomsmen should be mingling with the remaining
guests who are on line.
● Contemporary Line. This line consists of three couples: the parents of the bride, the
bride and groom, and the parents of the groom. In my opinion and for time's sake and
money wise, the Contemporary Line is the best way to go.
CHOOSING A LOCATION TO CUT A RUG
Your reception location requirements should be as

follows:
● They should definitely match the theme and

formality of the wedding. If you're going to be
wearing a huge dress or ball gown - maybe a
small restaurant wedding isn't such a great
idea.
● Always remember the time of the year and

keep these thoughts in mind. Take into
consideration whether or not you'll need
heating or cooling.
● The room should fit everyone that you're

inviting with at least twenty-five people to
spare. You want to have extra room available so that movement of the guests will not
be restricted. They’ll be able to move around without squeezing through chairs.

Remember, you don't want everyone sitting on top of one another.
● The reception location should meet your guests’ needs. If you have people attending
from out of town then maybe there should be a hotel nearby. If you have some people
attending who are incapacitated then maybe the reception hall should be handicap
accessible. Be sure that all these things are taken into consideration.
You also have to ask yourself the following questions:
● How big of a dance floor do you need? Be sure that it can fit at least seventy-five
percent of your guests at the same time. The chances of them all being on the dance
floor at once are usually slim to none. But just be sure of the seventy-five percent and
you'll be covered.
● Where to place sleeping children? If children are attending will there be an area to place
them if they fall asleep, because children do tend to fall asleep at weddings.
● Will there be a cocktail area? If you're having a cocktail hour you may want to have it in
a separate area. You don't want the guests to be burdened by the fact that they'll have to
leave the room in order for it to be reset for the reception.
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR RECEPTION VENDOR
Here are the top ten topics you should be discussing when trying to find your reception vendor.
● What is their smoking policy? Find out if there are designated smoking areas. If
smoking is allowed then people will probably be able to smoke anywhere on the outside
property. However, depending on what state you're in, smoking indoors may be
prohibited.
● Are direction cards provided for the guests? In case your guests aren't familiar with the
location of the reception hall that you're getting married in, be sure that direction cards

are provided for them. If cards aren't provided then be sure to obtain detailed directions
to the hall from all major directions such as north, south, east, and west. Make sure to
enclose these directions with your invitations.
● Are outside caterers allowed? If you're choosing a place such as a museum or outside
venue usually you can get any caterer you want. If you're choosing a hall or a location
where on premise catering is provided but you prefer another specific caterer - this can
be a problem. So make sure to iron out these details beforehand. Most locations such
as designated halls or wedding banquet halls do not allow outside catering. Just be sure
to check with your vendor first.
● Are there musical restrictions? Can you have

a DJ? Can you have a band? Are there
enough outlets available for the DJ or band to
plug in their equipment? Things of this nature
are important to know beforehand. Is there a
noise policy pertaining to the loudness of the
music? Be sure to find out all these things in
advance.
● How many options are provided for linens?

Today, the typical and very traditional white
linens are being replaced with ivory and
colored linens. If you prefer a different option
ask the vendor if he will provide it at a
discount, so you won’t have to shell out any extra money. He also might have the other
option available at no extra cost to you. That would be nice!
● Find out if there's a cake-cutting fee. I know it sounds ridiculous. Some vendors will
actually charge you a fee for cutting a cake. If this is in your contract try to negotiate it
out of your contract. If you can't eliminate that cake-cutting fee then simply inform the
vendor that your preference is to enlist a friend to cut the cake for you.

● Is there a corking fee? Again, this is a very silly policy but a very popular one. This is a
fee they charge for physically removing corks from wine or champagne bottles. Try to
negotiate this charge out of your contract completely. If they won't then simply eliminate
this service from your contract, and have your family and friends uncork their own
bottles.
● How early can vendors such as florists and musicians begin setting up? Find out if
there's an event being held just prior to yours. You want your guests arriving after your
vendors have completed their set up process. Find out what time they will be allowed to
begin setting up their equipment, and if the allotted time is enough for them to have
everything in place.
● Find out what ratio the wait staff is to guests. A good ratio is usually one waiter for two
to three tables depending on the size of your banquet hall or the number of guests you
have. You don't want one waiter for six tables. You must tell the vendor you want more
waiters.
● What is the cost of overtime and is it by the half hour? If you have a cost for overtime,
which most people do, it can run anywhere from $50.00 to $250.00 per hour depending
on what type of location you've gone for. Get it by the half hour not by the hour. If you
go over by fifteen minutes because you're all saying your goodbyes, you don't want to be
paying for that extra forty-five minutes.
Additional questions you may need to ask, if they don’t offer the information in their “sales
speech” are as follows:
● What is the price per person? What does that price include? Exclude? Is there a price
difference for kids (what age range) and vendors?
● What is the complete time span for reception, including cocktail hour?
● Is there a minimum person requirement for the room? If so, what is it and what is the
policy if you don’t reach that number?

● Will there be a bridal suite available for our wedding party and us?
● If there is a problem on the reception location’s end (weather damage, double booking,
etc.) what is their policy? Do they return your money in full? Do they provide other
accommodations?
Make sure to get all your questions answered from each reception hall that you visit, which
should be anywhere from two to three halls. Get it down in writing so that you will be able to
make a comparison of all three. You want to know which halls give you more bang for your
buck!
ALCOHOL
As far as alcohol is concerned for the day of the

wedding, you always must take into consideration if
alcohol will be served at all, or what types of alcohol will
be served.
● Depending on your vendor there may be an

option for an open bar or a cash bar. Alcohol is
one of the biggest expenses that you'll incur as
far as your reception is concerned. Having an
open bar is usually where most of the cost is.
So, try to gauge your needs in this area as to
what you're willing to go for, or what you're
willing to forego in relation to spending or saving
a little money.
● Remember, alcohol is a huge expense. Be sure

that you and your husband-to-be take on the responsibility of making certain that
everyone who drinks doesn't drive home. If they're drinking past just that sip of

champagne then they really shouldn't be driving home. There should be a designated
driver for every person that drinks. Please keep this in mind.
● Providing your own alcohol can actually save you money. Find out if your vendor will
allow this option. Again, find out in advance if there's a corking fee. You don't want this!
Be sure that you can return any unopened bottles to your vendor for a refund. In case
you purchase three hundred bottles of champagne - of course this is an exaggerated
number and you won't need all that champagne, be sure that if you use only ten bottles
that you'll be able to get a full refund for the other two hundred ninety bottles.
● Be clear on your location's rules about serving alcohol. You want to know if they ID
everyone, or if young children are seen with alcohol will there be any repercussions such
as the shutting down of the party. You must be made aware of these important issues.
These are rules that actually do exist, and you want to be sure that you don't break
them, and that your guests are also aware of them in advance.
● If you're having an evening event, note that they tend to consume more alcohol than if
you were having a morning or afternoon affair.
● Other ways to save on alcohol is to have just one or two options available such as wine
or beer, and not have a full top shelf bar available to your guests. Whenever you're
trying to save money, cutting out alcohol is probably the first and foremost thing you
should do.
SPEECHES
Speeches or toasts are a staple of any wedding. A good speech will be remembered and
spoken about for years to come. A bad speech will also be remembered, but in a negative way.
All speeches should be a 60/40 split. Sixty percent of it love and sentiment and forty percent of
it humor and cleverness. There are usually three traditional speeches.

● The father of the bride gives the first. His speech
usually runs about three to five minutes in length. He
proceeds to thank everyone for attending the wedding.
Then he talks about the bride's life beginning from her
childhood to the present. He tells stories that he's
accumulated over the years.
The father usually offers some advice to the groom

regarding the handling of his daughter. For example, if
his daughter is a collector of stuffed animals - now I'm
not saying this for any particular reason, but say she
owns at least three hundred stuffed animals - I guess
this would qualify her as an "avid" collector as opposed to just a girl who likes them. He
can advise the groom as to when and under what circumstances to purchase a stuffed
animal for his new bride. This could all work in the groom's favor if he plays his cards
right. This is just a cute, funny, and personalized example of how the father advises the
groom as to the handling of his daughter. Then at the end of his speech he toasts the
couple.
● The groom gives the second speech that usually follows the father of the bride. It's
usually three to five minutes in length. He begins by thanking both sets of parents and
then talks about his bride. Maybe he'll discuss his first impression of her on their first
date. He may also fill in with a few funny stories regarding both of them.
Next, he'll discuss his proposal of marriage. Be sure the proposal is definitely
mentioned. He also thanks the guests for attending their wedding, and coming from long
distances in order to be a part of it. The groom then toasts the wedding party by
thanking the best man and the maid/matron of honor, and all the groomsmen and
bridesmaids for being a part of this special day.
● The third speech is the “big-to-do” speech and given by the best man. This speech is
usually a little longer then the others - around seven to nine minutes. He thanks the
couple on behalf of the wedding party. He also talks about the groom - how they met
and what makes them so close - maybe a funny story involving both of them. He also

talks about being the best man, and how he felt when he was asked. He then begins to
talk about the bride - his first impression of her, their friendship, and their relationship
with one another.
Finally he talks about the couple as a whole - how they interact with one another. Then
he gives an example of their interaction. He discusses what makes this couple so
different and sets them apart from the rest. He would read out loud any correspondence
from guests who were unable to attend the wedding, if any were sent. This will help
make their presence known and felt. Then he toasts the couple, their families, and the
night ahead. He wishes them good luck and what not.
These are the three traditional speeches and what they consist of. You can't go wrong by
keeping to this outline.
Here are a few more tips:
• Remember that everything you say should, first of all, be appropriate to your audience.
Certain words shouldn't be spoken. Certain incidences that are of a mature nature
shouldn't be shared with everyone in the room, especially if there are children present.
Always remember that the couple's new in-laws, parents, grandparents, and clergy will
be present. All stories should be of a clean, funny, and lighthearted nature. There
shouldn't be anything said that goes into too much detail or may be embarrassing to
either of the couple. It might be something that either of them doesn’t want their mom or
dad to know.
• Speeches are usually given at the beginning of the evening to sort of set off the entire
evening. You want to get these things out of the way.
• If someone is uncomfortable with speaking, such as a young best man who doesn't like
speaking in front of big audiences, it's perfectly okay to have a stand in speak for him.
Just remember these are the things that should come from the heart and people should
have fun with.

SEATING PLAN
We are going to be discussing the seating plan, what it is and how to make one. If you are
having fewer than seventy-five guests then open seating is perfectly fine. This means that
guests can sit wherever they want. If you're having over seventy-five guests then you must
have a seating plan, otherwise there will be pure chaos. There are seven easy steps to creating
the perfect seating plan.
● Divide your groups into family, friends, co-workers, and so on.
● Get a floor plan from the reception hall or make a floor plan yourself. It's really simple!
You get a piece of paper and draw a box in the center, and if you have round tables you
simply draw circles on the paper. But find out from the reception hall if they have floor
plans available.
● Establish the table size. Your

reception hall may establish this
already. They usually seat
anywhere between ten to fourteen
people per table.
● Try to mix and match your guests.

For example, don't place all your
singles at the same table.
● Be sensitive to your guests needs.

If you have older guests try to seat
them closer to the front of the hall,
and as far as possible from the
music so it's not pulsating loudly into
their ears. Older folks also like to be
closer to restrooms. The same
thing goes for very young children. You want them to be farther from the music in case
they happen to fall asleep. Place the younger guests towards the music and older

guests away from the music.
● Try to place people of the same age and with the same interests together. If you're
having a large group of people - let's say you have twenty-five people coming from your
job, but you can only seat ten people per table, well, split them up and fill in the extra
seats with complimentary guests who don't fit into a particular group. They may not
immediately fit in with the group, but they will eventually and wind up getting along fine.
● Be mindful of inter-family issues. If your cousin on your mother's side can't sit with your
sister, well, don't put them next to each other. If your grandmother doesn't like your
other grandmother's nephew, well, you can't have them sitting next to each other either.
Remember not to seat people who dislike one another next to each other. It makes for
an extremely uncomfortable atmosphere.
When it comes to your place cards there are a few things we must discuss.
● You should try to match your invitations to your other wedding stationery. For example,
if all your wedding stationery is cream colored then so should your place cards unless
you want to match your theme. If your theme is winter wonderland, well, there's no
reason why your place cards can't include snowflakes or something of that nature.
● All cards should be alphabetized by last name and usually placed on a table in front of
the reception location. Nowadays, you also may find them in the cocktail area. And
again, start the alphabet from the front of the table and work your way back.
● A seating chart is also another option when it comes to place cards. It's usually a very
large list with the letters of the alphabet highly distinguishable on a piece of oak tag or
poster board, and underneath each letter will have those people's names that fall into
that category, along with the table number they'll be sitting at. This is a less expensive
way.
The only downfall that I honestly see as to a seating chart vs. personal place cards is that a
seating chart can cause some problems. If you're having a large wedding, say over one
hundred people, not everyone may be able to see the chart so clearly - like grandmas and

grandpas for instance! It also creates a very huge crowd around the chart area. Whereas, with
place cards your guests only have to find their name, check the card for their table number, and
simply walk away toward the appropriate table.
A seating chart is perfectly acceptable for a wedding party of fewer than one hundred people. If
you're having over one hundred people, I highly recommend place cards as your means of
letting your guests know where they will be sitting. Much less confusion - don't you think!
FAVORS
Depending on what part of the country you're from they

can be referred to as either favors or souvenirs. These
are usually little gifts given out to your guests at the end
of the reception as a thank you to them for being a part
of your special day.
● The favors can be placed at one of two areas.

Either on the table positioned around the
centerpiece so that your guests can take them
when they're ready, or they can be placed on a
separate favor table.
● You usually spend anywhere between two to ten

dollars per couple or single guest, or one favor
per household. The price includes the favor and
the packaging.
● Favors are traditionally placed in a box, wrapped in solid paper and topped with a pretty
bow or placed in an organza bag. Along with the bow on the box or attached to the
organza bag, you'll sometimes find white candy coated almonds wrapped in netting.
This is simply an added adornment and is also an old wedding tradition.

● Great favors compliment the couples or the wedding theme. For instance if you're
having a Celtic wedding you could have something with a shamrock on it or a cross. If
you're having a western wedding you can have something that has a cowboy hat on it.
Giving out something that people can use is usually a good idea too.
● If you assemble your own favors you'll actually be saving money. The way to do this is
to contact companies directly if you have something particular in mind. Auction websites
- these are huge! You'll find all kinds of items to match your theme. But be creative.
Today, you'll also see a lot of couples who may want to forego the nick-knacks that they've
received at weddings in the past, and be a little more creative by doing something philanthropic.
They can achieve this by substituting favors for donations. At each person's place setting you
can put a small rolled up scroll or something of that nature. This item will indicate that in lieu of
a favor, the bride and groom has decided to make a donation in the guest's name to a worthy
cause such as the American Cancer Society, or some other charity. Usually the guests
appreciate this choice. Depending on what you can afford and your wedding theme -- the sky is
the limit when it comes to favors!


Chapter 4
GET A GORGEOUS GOWN AT A GREAT RATE
Now we're going to discuss the Top Ten Tips of finding "The One".
1. We are going to go back to an old lesson and

do some homework! The more you know the
less you'll pay in the end. You want to find
the general pricing of each aspect of a
wedding dress. For instance, is a two-piece
cheaper than a one piece? How long of a
train can you have before the price is
increased? These are things you want to find
out.
2. Pictures, pictures, and more pictures! Collect

pictures in your handy-dandy binder
(remember that from a previous lesson) of
dress designs that you absolutely adore. It
doesn't have to be the whole dress. It can
just be particular areas of a dress such as the
neckline, the sleeves, the train, or any other parts of the dress. You will collect an
abundance of these pictures, thereby, giving you a better idea as to the perfect dress for
you.
3. Seasons of Savings! The best time to shop is in the late spring or early fall. These two
seasons are when stores are turning over their stock. You will be able to get an
incredible dress for half the price because they're trying to get rid of it.

4. Timing is everything! Start searching for your dress at least ten to twelve months in
advance of your wedding. You need time to find the perfect dress, to go for multiple
fittings, and to make sure that the dress is in perfect condition. If something happens to
the dress, heaven forbid, then you will have the time to obtain a replacement.
5. Use that sales motto to your advantage! You’re the customer, you're always right, and
always in charge. Do not let the salesperson pressure you into absolutely anything,
whether it's buying the dress right then and there, trying on a dress that you may not
perfectly love, or even looking at a dress that doesn't appeal to you. You know what you
like and you know what you want -- find it! Don't let the salesperson push you in the
wrong direction.
6. Three is ideal! Try to take no more than three people with you - that's it! They should be
people that you trust to be honest with you. It can be that friend or sister that will tell you
when you look really good or really bad. You want honesty now. You don't want
somebody to be nice just for the sake of being nice. Most likely that person will either be
your mother, your sister, or your maid of honor.
7. Lead the search, don't be lead (to a degree)! When shopping for your dress it’s good to
go into the establishment with a game plan, having ideas of specific styles, fabrics,
designers, etc. that you’re interested in. This gives the salesperson a great place to start
when finding your dream dress. If they want to make suggestions that's fine.
Remember, they're just suggestions. You don't have to take them!
8. Variety is the spice of life! Now, here are two things in one. First, you want to visit three
or four different places. Don't just go to one dress shop and think that you're going to
find the perfect dress there. Is it possible? Yes, it's possible. You know the old adage -
the first dress you try on is the last dress you actually buy. You have to try on a few
dresses because you never know! The reason for this is that you don't want the
salesperson to think you have your heart set on one particular dress because she might
suddenly raise the price of that dress along with its alterations.
Please be sure to try on a multitude of dresses. Even though you may fall in love with
the first one, it's sometimes that third one, or that tenth one that you try on that - you

know - may actually be that perfect one. And that leads me to repeat myself once again
- try on a lot of dresses! Don't just try on that one dress. Try on a bunch of them in a lot
of different places.
9. Wedding Weight Worry! Well, we're all petrified that we're going to look fat on our
wedding day. Right! It's true. Whether or not you gain ten pounds, lose ten pounds, or
stay the exact weight that you are - don't worry! Definitely do not stress about the
numbers - at least when it comes to these numbers.
On your wedding day you may weigh plus or minus five pounds. With all the stress of
planning a wedding you may stop eating or you may be exercising more. I don't want
you to go out and buy a dress that is too small for you just on the hopes that you're going
to lose that weight by your wedding day. Because come your wedding day if you don't
lose that weight you are really going to be in a pickle.
The other number I don't want you to worry about is the one on the tag. Wedding
dresses are notorious for running smaller than their actual tag size. Even though you
may be a size four, you may end up buying a size 14. This is truly a fact - I nearly
fainted when I saw the size listed on my wedding dress! Just be careful and don't worry
about what the tag says. The tag means nothing. The only thing that matters is how
you feel and how you look in the dress. So, don't worry about the scale and definitely
don't worry about the tag.
10. Patience is a virtue! Do be patient. Don't buy a dress immediately. Always wait a few
days or preferably a week. The reason being is that you may put on a dress as soon as
you get into a store, find yourself standing there under those amazing lights in front of
beautiful mirrors with your loved ones standing near you, the sales person telling you
how absolutely phenomenal you look, and then immediately lose all your perspective.
Well, you then get home at night and sleep on it. You wake up the next morning, after
you've put a forty percent deposit on the dress, and low and behold, you hate it. It
doesn't look as good on you as you had hoped it would, and you're worried about
anything and everything. Plus you won't be able to get the deposit back. Trust me when
I say be patient. Go home and sleep on it. Talk about the dress with others and then if
you really want it - go back and buy it. If your sales person tells you that it's not going to

be available unless you purchase it right then and there - well, turn tail and run - walk
right out of the store. That sales person is only worried about her paycheck, not what
looks good on you.
THE TOP TEN TIPS TO SAVING ON A SENSATIONAL DRESS
1. Always remember that more is actually more! By changing the amount of fabric or
maybe going a little easy on the details, you could save tons of cash.
2. Be flexible with your fabric! By just changing the fabric you could cut hundreds of dollars
off the price of your dress. Since silk is extremely expensive it would be a good idea to
substitute it with a fabric that is comparable in texture but a lot less expensive. The only
thing that matters is how it feels on you.
3. Rack up those savings! Buy off the rack at a chain store and then have a tailor alter it
for you. This is an amazing way to save money. You have to find a dress that fits well
and then have a tailor adjust it. Even though you'll be spending extra money for the cost
of a tailor, believe me, you'll still be saving money in the long run.
4. A dress is a dress is a dress my friend! Purchasing a white evening gown from a

department store is just as beautiful as a wedding dress but half the price. Just because
something says the word "wedding", you can bet it's always going to be double the price.
Keep that in mind. If you want that contemporary sleek fashionable look, well, buy a
beautiful dress from a department store. Trust me - your wallet will thank you.
5. My two favorite words - are you ready - "sample sale"! This is if you really want that
designer dress. You know that designer that makes all the dresses for the stars. If you
really want that dress, well, this is the way to go. You can usually find wedding dresses
that are made by top designers from New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Italy, and France,
at a price that is much more budget friendly.

6. Couture for less! What does this mean? Have your dress made especially for you by a
dressmaker or seamstress. If you don't know how to use a dressmaker or seamstress,
and you don't have one on speed dial, here are a few tips to finding one.
○ First, you can ask around. Networking is a great tool for brides!
○ Ask your tailor or your dry cleaner if they know anyone. They work together so
one of them may actually be a seamstress.
○ Go to fabric stores. Many shops specialize in wedding gown fabrics. They may
have a dressmaker on file.
Now that you have found a dressmaker, well, how do you use that person? Bring all
your examples that you have been tearing out of magazines, and describe your dream
dress to the dressmaker. This person is here to make the dress absolutely perfect for
you. Always try to view previous dresses that they have made. And treat them as you
would any other vendor, even though they are doing something that obviously is going to
be the focal point of your wedding. Be sure that you don't make them feel too special,
because then they may take advantage of you.
7. An ode! Well, how do you do an ode? It's simple! You can wear a family dress - your
mom’s, your aunt's, your sister's, and your cousin's - anyone's dress. Maybe even wear
a friend's dress. Besides the cost of the alterations, it's practically a free dress. And
they will really feel touched and special that you wanted to honor them in such a
spectacular way.
8. Discounted designers! Many people don't choose to do this. I personally think that if
you want that designer dress, but you can't afford to pay the designer prices, you can
rent a designer dress. I promise you it's so much fun, and you will get this amazing
dress for practically nothing.
9. Retro chic! Buy a second hand dress. Think about it! How long do you wear a
wedding dress for? Once, that's it! Actually you are only going to wear it for a few
hours. So, it's totally okay and pretty smart to purchase a second hand dress. How do
you do this? Simple - you look at eBay and classified ads. When you're looking at eBay

and classified ads be sure the dress is coming from a smoke free and animal free home.
And you want to see tons and tons of pictures of it.
You want to find out if there's a return policy for the dress in case you're not absolutely
happy with it. The same thing goes if you buy from an antique or vintage shop. Check
out the imperfections. You want to look over every nook, cranny, and hem on that dress.
Also, you can try your dry cleaners. Brides often drop off their wedding dresses to be
cleaned and boxed, and sometimes don't return to pick them up. This could be a total
savings on your part.
10. Be charitable! This has become one of my most favorite things. Charities such as
makingmemories.org and bridesagainstbreastcancer.org are great places to buy your
dress. First, you're buying a dress from a charity and that money is automatically going
back to the charity. You can purchase a dress from a charity and then re-donate it and
have a double write-off. Not only are you saving on the dress and doing something
absolutely incredible, but also you are getting paid for it in the long run.
Bridesagainstbreastcancer.org has shows and bridal events all over the country at
various times. Make sure to check out their event's calendar.
HOW TO GET YOUR ACCESSORIES WITHOUT GETTING A LOAN?
● Head dress or veil
○ Again, online auctions are the way to go. eBay is going to become your new
best friend.
○ Be creative. If you have a friend or family member who is good with a needle
and thread, or even a glue gun, you can create a simple veil for nothing. Really,
all that is needed is tooling or lace depending on what your style is. A little
embroidery on the ends and "bam" you have a head dress for nothing.

○ Borrow. Remember, your family members and friends are your best sources
when it comes to wedding accessories.
● Shoes
○ Don't buy anything that says wedding shoes. Take the wedding out of wedding
shoes. You can purchase simple beautiful white shoes for twenty bucks - the
same shoes that you can get for one hundred twenty bucks.
○ How much of your shoes are actually going to be seen from under your beautiful
wedding dress? Probably not much of them. Maybe the tips of them. So, don't
buy overly detailed shoes.
○ Remember your ABC’s and what comes before fashion - well, that word is
comfort. You have to be sure these shoes are going to get you through the
entire day without blisters and tears of pain.
○ Break them in. Breaking in shoes before the wedding will eliminate any
possibility of blisters. Be sure that a few weeks before the wedding to go out with
the shoes, or even wear them around the house. And maybe, even if you are
only sitting down and watching television, try having your wedding shoes on.
First of all it will make you feel really pretty, and secondly you will be breaking in
those new shoes. Then when the time comes to wear your shoes on your
wedding day, they will be the most comfortable shoes you've ever worn.
● Jewelry
○ Borrow! Borrow! Borrow! You know those diamond teardrop earrings belonging
to your grandmother, or that string of fresh water pearls that your mother has
been hiding away forever -- ask to borrow those priceless pieces on your
wedding day. The person will be honored that you admired them enough to want
to display their prize jewelry on your wedding day.

○ Red carpet concepts! Stars all over the world have been renting their jewelry
from top name designers for years and years. You know! You've seen them
walking down the red carpet for the Emmy’s and the Oscar’s. Well, you can do
that too. Anybody can do it. You can rent a ten thousand dollar necklace for one
tenth of the price. And basically it's just for the insurance purposes. It's an
amazing way to get major “bling” without having to pay major money.
QUESTIONS THAT YOU NEED TO ASK YOUR DRESS VENDOR
● What are your alteration fees? From the onset, be sure to have your alteration price in
writing, so that you won’t be charged more money when the alterations are actually
started. You want to be perfectly certain before you even hand over that deposit check,
that when the dress arrives and it’s time for your fittings, the alteration price has
remained the same.
● Do you store the dress? You also want to make sure that the dress vendor will store
your dress prior to the wedding. And if so, you want to find out if there is a fee involved.
There is a very popular store that doesn't store wedding dresses. This is why you have
to be certain to find out in advance, because you don't want to worry about having to
store your dress. When you finally find a dress that you absolutely love and the place
doesn't provide storage, simply look on the website and you'll be able to find a step by
step guide of how to do this without any damage to the dress.
Here are a few questions you should ask yourself when trying to find the right dress for your
wedding.
● What is the formality of my wedding? Is it going to be really formal? Are you requiring
top hat and tails? Well, then your dress should reflect that.
● You also want to keep in mind the time of day and year of your wedding. This is
because certain fabrics are not as cold or heat friendly. You want to have an
appropriate dress fabric that is going to keep you warm or cool depending on what time

of the day or year it is.
● Keep in mind any part of your body that you are really self-conscience about, if there are
any! You may be an absolute fox but every one of us, or at least most of us, has that
one body part that we are self-conscience about. We always try to cover or hide it some
how. Be sure that your wedding dress makes you feel comfortable. And in the end
whether you are self-conscience about your arms or legs, be sure that your dress either
accentuates or disguises that certain area.
Now that you know what to look for, what not to look for, how to save, and what you need to
ask, you can go out and get a gorgeous gown at a great rate.
WEDDING DAY HAIR
Buying the appropriate attire for the wedding is only half the battle. You still need to deal with
your hair, makeup, teeth, weight, etc. In this lesson we're going to be discussing wedding day
hair.
● The main question women are faced with is whether or not to wear their hair up or
down? My feeling about it is to go with whatever you are most comfortable. For me
personally, I like wearing my hair down but for special occasions I prefer it up. Why?
Well, at weddings, parties and events of that nature there is a lot of dancing and a ton of
people. Both of those things coupled with any alcohol create a lot of heat, and wearing
my hair down only worsens the heat. So needless to say, I wore my hair up for my
wedding.
● When it comes to the color and cut of your hair, you should go for a color touch-up or
trimming at least two to three weeks prior to your wedding. You don't want your hair
color coming out on to your dress, and you also want to get use to it so that it gets to the
right shade, which usually takes two to three weeks.

● You should also go for a trial run with your hairdresser. This is usually one to two
months prior to the wedding, and you need to have your headpiece with you. Take your
camera and get a picture with the completed hairstyle from every single angle possible.
You also want to take notes if needed. If the hairdresser had a problem with your bangs,
well, be sure you make a note that you had a problem with your bangs and what the
solution was. This way when it comes to the actual wedding day you can say I know you
had a problem with my bangs and this is what you did to rectify it. It will save time in the
long run. Don’t forget to bring pictures of your favorite hairstyles for your trial run. You
don't want to go there and say, well, here's my veil but I don't know what I want to do.
You don't want to give the hairdresser full control. You want to give them some
guidelines because you know what you like and don’t like.
● The next part of your wedding day hair is to keep in mind that everyone's hair is different.
Even though that picture of the super model in the magazine looks perfect and ideal and
her ringlets are great, your hair may not be able to hold the ringlets as well. The shape,
thickness, coloring, and length can all affect your style. All of these factors must be
taken into consideration. If your hair is very long then getting it all up in curls is going to
be an extremely difficult task.
● Your face shape is also a key ingredient in designing the perfect hairstyle for you. If you
have a round race there are certain hairstyles that you should not wear, because those
styles might make your face look a little too full. I know this from personal experience.
The same is true if your face is very thin and long. There are certain hairstyles that you
might want to steer clear of in order to keep your face from appearing too long.
After you find the perfect style, how do you save on great hair?
● Have a talented friend or family member do your wedding day hair. You will definitely
save money because you won't have to pay a stylist. Secondly, it will make that person
feel pretty special simply because you requested her to do your hair, and also the fact
that you always admired how she styled her own hair.
● Hire a student hairdresser who is in their final year. Always be sure to arrange a few trial
runs with them to make certain that they have everything in order. Again, as when we

discussed college people, be sure to speak to their professors and examine their
portfolios.
● If you opt for a salon, see if they will offer a group discount for you and your bridal party.
And be sure to get it in writing if they agree to the discount.

WEDDING SKIN & TEETH
Want to achieve that “wedding day glow”? Here are a few tips and tricks to doing just that!
● Beauty Regiment. If you're starting a new beauty

regiment, do so three to four months in advance of
your wedding. If you don't allow for that three to
four month waiting period, any allergic or adverse
skins reactions from your new beauty treatment
may not have the opportunity to clear up before
your wedding day. You also want to give it time to
take effect and usually that takes anywhere
between twelve to sixteen weeks. That's when that
new glow will begin to shine through.
● Facials. Don't have any within three weeks of your

wedding in case you have an adverse reaction,
even if you have been going for facials every day
and every month of your entire adult life. It's simply
a precaution. Better safe than sorry!
● Tanning. If you want that sun kissed skin without the after effects of tanning beds and
the sun, then opt for spray tans such as Mystic Tanning Booths. Always go for a trial
run. If you like the results you can go five to seven days prior to the wedding. Not one
day sooner and not one day later. You need to have that five to seven day waiting
period, so that you won't get any type of tan stains on your wedding dress. Plus you
want that tan color to seep into your skin for a while so that it looks real.
● Smoking and drinking. Cut down and/or eliminate all harmful toxins from your body
three to four months prior to your wedding. This is so that your radiance and inner
beauty can shine through. Smoking deteriorates your teeth, turns your nails yellow, and
it really doesn't give your skin that healthy glow and smooth look. It will actually dry out

your skin. Drinking does the same thing to your skin. It will give you that dehydrated
look.
● Massage. If your budget allows try to go for a massage every two to three weeks during
the planning process. It will make you feel ten times better, and you will be so much
more relaxed. Your whole body will feel rejuvenated. Definitely try to treat yourself to a
full body massage a day or two before your wedding.
● Teeth. You will be smiling a lot, so you might as well make them look absolutely
beautiful. The first thing is do not wait to the last minute. Visit your dentist five to six
months prior to your wedding so that any and all possible work will be completed in
ample time. Try to eliminate coffee, tea, and cigarette smoke. When it comes to
whitening teeth these things definitely harm and hinder the process. If you're going to be
whitening your teeth it is available in three different forms. Let me go over each of them
with you.
○ At home kits. They usually go for under $100.00. You are going to need to use
two kits. The first one you're going to use seven to eight months prior to your
wedding, and the second you will use six weeks prior to your wedding. The
whitener usually brightens your teeth about three to four shades lighter.
○ Whitened professionally by a dentist. This costs approximately $400.00

depending on where you live. This usually consists of two one hour sessions in
the office followed by an at home treatment you must do. It usually lasts two to
three years, and also whitens your teeth three to four shades lighter.
○ Laser bleaching. This process costs approximately $800.00 to $1,000.00. It's

done in the office and lasts about five years. This form of whitening lightens your
teeth about six to eight shades.
Remember, you will be smiling all day so you want your skin and teeth to radiate. You want to
look absolutely stunning on your special day.

WEDDING DAY MAKEUP
Even though you may be a professional makeup artist, or you're just so good at it that your
friends always came to you to have their makeup done, always have someone else do your
wedding day makeup. You're going to be stressed out enough already. You don't want to
blame yourself if something goes wrong. You want to be able to sit down and relax. Doing your
own makeup is not going to help you relax.
Just like with your hair, you should go for a trial run with your makeup artist one month prior to
your wedding. There are certain things you should remember for your trial run.
● Tell that person the time, date, and color scheme

of your wedding. This will help them choose the
colors that are perfect for your skin and perfect
for your wedding.
● Ask and then write down the brand and color of

each item used by the makeup artist. Bring this
list back with you when they do your makeup the
day of the wedding.
● Again, bring a camera and take pictures from

every angle with your wedding makeup
completed.
How to save on your wedding day makeup?
● Have a friend or family member do it. Maybe you're not the one who does the best
makeup. I know from past experience that my sister does the most incredible makeup
ever and it always looks so natural and beautiful. You'll be saving money and
complimenting the person at the same time.

● Hire a student in their final year of cosmetology school. Again, like with any other
college students make sure you check with their teachers and you view their portfolio of
previous and current work.
● Ask the salon for a group rate for you and your bridal party. Make sure to get it in
writing. You want to be sure that any contract include all details and prices.
Between your hair, makeup, skin, and teeth, you can be certain that you will look absolutely
radiant the day of your wedding.
HEALTH/WEIGHT LOSS
Let’s scurry a little bit off of the wedding topic and talk about your health and your weight loss
during your wedding process. What you weigh shouldn't even compare to how healthy you are.
You could be considered over weight by BMI standards, but still be absolutely in the best shape
of your life. Always remember the number on the scale doesn't matter as much as everyone
wants you to believe it does. What does matters is how you feel and how your clothes fit on
you.
● When it comes to losing weight, which most people
want to do for their wedding, keep in mind that fad
diets are a total no-no. They do more harm than
good. Anything that makes you limit a food group
from your daily diet is not healthy. It's also not
realistic to stay away from them.
● Definitely listen to your doctor. Healthy eating and

exercise equals weight loss. You can't take the
short cut. As much as many of us do not have the
time or the patience to deal with eating properly
since those fast food joints really do call your name
out loud, you must try to ignore the fast food and try
to eat healthier and exercise regularly. That's the

only way you're going to remain healthy when losing weight. It’s the only way the weight
will stay off.
● Healthy weight loss consists of one to two pounds a week plus four weeks for your body
to adjust. Now, the first four weeks you may lose six pounds, but that's mostly water
weight. Please be careful when it comes to your weight loss because anything more
than that is drastic and unrealistic. If you're trying to lose fifty pounds you're going to
need at least twenty-five weeks to lose it. And that's if you're losing exactly two pounds
per week, which means you have to keep on a healthy diet and exercise on a regular
basis, about three to four times a week.
● Gym or no gym that is the question? What's the difference? If you can afford to join a
gym and you can commit to going a few times a week with or without a trainer, it's
definitely the ideal way to go. This means you're setting aside a certain time of the
week, either every day or every other day, and that you're making a commitment to do
this. This has to become a way of life for you, not just a way of means to an end. The
best workout you can do is fifteen to thirty minutes of cardio and weight training for
toning. It's a great regiment. You aren't weight lifting for bulk. You aren't going to
become a body builder by lifting weights. It's just not going to happen. Body builders
train to do that. They train to get their body that huge. You're not going to be doing
that. Lifting weights are for toning purposes only.
● Keep in mind your scale may not move or may actually go up. This is because muscle
weighs more than fat. You could be one hundred fifty pounds at five foot two and be a
rock of muscle versus one hundred fifty pounds at five foot two and be a ton of flab.
Building muscle also helps you burn calories quickly in the long run. So, it actually
works to your benefit.
● Walking is the number one best cardio you can do and it costs absolutely nothing. If you
can't join a gym, you're trying to save money or you simply can't shell out the money for
a gym membership - walk, walk, walk, and walk. Walk everywhere. Walk up the stairs
when you have to go to work. Walk down the stairs when you have to take the dog out
for a walk. Walk everywhere you possibly can.

Just remember the number on the scale and the number on the tag mean nothing as long as
you're comfortable with your weight and comfortable with yourself. Please don't worry or try to
lose weight if there's actually no need to. If you're a size two and you're trying to get to a size
zero, you don't need to - you're beautiful just the way you are. No matter if you're a size two or
a size twenty-two just be comfortable with who you are, and refrain from needlessly worrying
about a number. These are tips and tricks that I’ve learned from personal trainers and from
personal experience. I am not a doctor so always consult with your doctor before doing
anything that could affect your health. I’m not telling you that you have to work out; I am telling
you that these are the ways that you could work out but remain healthy.
HANDSOME HUSBAND TO BE
So far this book has centered around you ladies, but

what about your handsome husbands-to-be. You're not
the only one who has to be absolutely gorgeous on your
wedding day. The guys want to look pretty good since
they know that the "paparazzi" will be taking photos of
them also. Let's start with the head and work our way
down - shall we.
● First, we have the hair. Guys need to get their

haircut more often than women do. This is an
obvious one. Therefore, they should get a
haircut a week before the wedding. This way
their hair has a chance to grow to the length that
they feel most comfortable with. The haircut
shouldn't be anything different than they normally get. If they usually get a little trim here
and there, then that's what they should do or maybe they just need a little clean up.
They should style their hair as they usually do for a formal affair. Now, we women need
to go and get the works done which includes our hair, makeup, and whatnot. Men don't
require someone that must be brought to their homes to do their hair. Luckily men don't

have that headache to contend with.
● The next concern for the gentlemen is their skin. Like women they should not start a
regiment less then three or four months prior to the wedding. This way if there are any
adverse reactions to whatever they’re having done or medication they may be taking,
they’ll have the necessary time to start a new regiment or medication. Then by the time
the wedding has rolled around, there will be no worry as to having any allergic reactions
to any new medications or anything of that sort. Guys should also get facials about
three weeks prior to the wedding day. Now, if you have an extremely manly guy - he's
rugged, he's a cowboy, or he's a biker - none of these guys are going to want to have a
facial. But they should start cleaning their skin a little deeper so as to obtain more of a
glow to their skin so their photos will be more flattering.
● Tanning is okay for guys. If they want to go to the tanning bed or the beach to get a little
extra sun that's perfectly fine. Just be sure that they have the right sun block, and
they're not over tanning. You don't want them to get sun poisoning simply because they
want to look their best for the wedding.
● Manicure and pedicures for guys are a must even if they only go for a polish-less
manicure, which means the manicurist just cleans the cuticles, files and buffs the nails.
You have no idea how many photos of only the photographer will take your hands.
There will pictures of your beautiful wedding bands, and pictures of both your hands
joined together. Yes, your hands will be highlighted. So, be sure he goes to get a
manicure. Now, the pedicure isn't a must. But if you're having a destination wedding
such as a beach wedding, or there is a possibility that his shoes may be coming off at
some point during the night, please be sure that he gets a pedicure as well.
● Make sure he pampers himself just as much as you pamper yourself at least three or
four days prior to the wedding. Go with him for a massage. The best treat the two of
you could have is to go for a couple's massage. It is very relaxing. Both your minds will
be absolutely free from discussions about bridesmaids' dresses, seating plans, or
anything else of that sort. Just go and relax with one another. Trust me you'll both love
it, and he'll really appreciate it.

● The guys’ attire is something that the bride and groom should decide together. That's
right ladies, we get to decide on our dresses and we also have input as to what the guys
wear. Isn't it great to be a girl?
○ Be sure that you both agree on the tuxedo style. For example, if your husband
wants tails and a top hat but you don't want them, then it's time to discuss it and
try to come to a reasonable agreement between the two of you.
○ Always think Hollywood Red Carpet and not H.S. Prom. This is not the time to
go for the very inexpensive, very blasé tuxedo. The guys should shine a little bit
also. So, pull out magazines, watch the award shows, and try to get some style
tips from the big Hollywood stars.
○ The tuxedo style is determined by the formality of the wedding. If you're having
your wedding on the beach it's definitely not the time to have a top hat and tails.
And visa versa - if you are having your wedding in a grand hotel ballroom, it's not
the time to wear the khaki suit instead of a tuxedo.
○ It's so much easier for guys when they are renting a tuxedo. For a normal tuxedo
they need only go to any tuxedo store, which are all over. Even some
department stores now offer tuxedo rentals. They can go anywhere from one in
a half to two months prior to the actual wedding. They're only going to need one
to two fittings, and they usually work out the kinks beforehand.
○ If they are buying the tuxedo and having it personally hand made, then they
should start looking for their tuxedos and start going for their alterations a year
prior. A lot of guys have their tuxedos hand made, because they want that same
special treatment as the brides get. Guys should definitely have their first fitting
six to eight weeks prior to the wedding.
Everyone says it's the bride's day, but it's definitely the groom's day as well. We want them to
look really fabulous also.

BEAUTIFUL BRIDESMAIDS
● When it comes to choosing your bridesmaids' attire there are three top choices, which
we can go with.
○ Same dress for everyone. Skinny or
plus size, tall or short - you can have
the same style dress for all of them.
○ Same color and fabric but different

styles. This is where the bridesmaids
can each pick out their own style, but
both you and the bridesmaid must
agree on it. One in which they're
comfortable with, and also in which
you're comfortable with having them
wear. If you are okay with each of
them choosing a different style - one
with a halter, one strapless, one with
spaghetti straps - this is all right as
long as you're in agreement with their choices. They should understand that
there are some boundaries. You don't want anybody showing off things that they
shouldn't be showing in public.
○ Same style and the same fabric, but different shades of the same color. For
example, if you love the color blue you can have the bridesmaids each wear a
different shade of blue. One can have navy blue; another teal blue, light blue, or
baby blue. They're all be wearing the same styled dress, made from the same
fabric, but in different shades of blue.
● Before deciding on a dress try to get every ones input regarding the top three dresses
you have narrowed it down to. Then maybe email them or send them a bridesmaid's
newsletter with the three styles of dresses and let them all give their opinions. This

doesn't mean that you have to accept all of their opinions. If you happen to love all the
dresses equally, but five out of seven bridesmaids like one particular style, then maybe
that's the style to go with.
● Another tip is not to bring all your bridesmaids shopping with you. Only bring your
maid/matron of honor and one other person like your sister or your best friend. Keep it
down to just two people. For my wedding I took my best friend, who was my maid of
honor and my (then future) sister in law. You don't want five to twelve girls running
around the bridal shop picking out every single dress that they absolutely adore. You
don't want a two-hour excursion turning into an all day event. It also helps to keep you
from becoming overwhelmed. You don't want to have to preview twenty-seven dresses
on these girls. You know what you like and you sort of know what styles your girls
prefer. With only one or two people it's a safe bet that you won't hurt anyone's feelings,
or pick a wrong style that doesn't compliment every one of your girls.
● You may have a bridesmaid who lives totally across the country, so obviously you can't
accompany her to her fitting. Even though your girls are all going at different times for
their fittings, try to make it to the bridal shop and be there for at least one of their fittings.
You want to gauge their reactions about the dresses. You want to make sure they look
their best in the dress, and be sure they're all paying the same price. You don't want the
store overcharging or doing anything else behind your back. Another reason to
accompany them to their fittings would be to become familiar with each girl’s size. For
example, if they have strapless gowns and as part of their gift you’re getting them bolero
jackets, then you need to know their sizes.
○ Take into consideration each girl's tastes, personal styles, body types, and physical
needs. Just like you want to be comfortable on your wedding day, I’m sure your
bridesmaids do as well. These girls have decided to be a part of your wedding day, to
step up and pay the extra money, and to take on the extra responsibility to make you
happy. Your girls also want to make sure your day is a beautiful remembrance for you,
and that they keep it going smoothly by helping you out in any way they can.
Remember that they're doing you the favor by being in your bridal party.

● Being a little considerate about their preferences can only make your day better in the
long run. The more comfortable your girls are the happier they'll be which means you'll
be happier too. On the day of your wedding you don't want to hear how much they hate
or loathe their dresses. It's going to make you feel bad and add stress to your day -
which you don't want or need. So, just be respectful of what they may or may not like.
This doesn't mean that you'll be able to make everybody happy. It's just not going to
happen even under the best of circumstances but try to make as many of them as happy
as possible.
● I know that a lot of brides want their girls to have the same hairstyle. Either up, down,
straight, curly, or whatever else there may be. As nice as you think it may look and as
organized or formal as you think it may be, it really isn't. There are two problems with
this.
○ The first is that each girl may prefer a different type of hairstyle. No two girls
have the same texture to their hair, and what looks good on one girl may not look
well on another.
○ The second reason is that you can't expect every girl to have their hair up if
they've never worn it that way before. They'll most likely be very uncomfortable
throughout the whole wedding. And there's probably a reason why they've never
worn their hair up.
Let each girl choose the style that they are most comfortable with.
● Match the hair to the formality of the wedding dress or surroundings. If you're having a
beach wedding, then the girls don't have to wear their hair up in tendrils or have a bun
with pearls in it. Even though you want the girls to be comfortable they still must match
the decor as well. If you're having a more formal affair use a bun or a french twist, both
of which are perfectly acceptable. If you prefer a beach wedding then the girls can either
wear their hair up in a ponytail or actually kind of clip it a little bit. This type of wedding
goes with a casual hairstyle. A formal hairstyle does not belong at a beach wedding.
So, keep the formality of the wedding in mind.

● Let each girl have her input prior to choosing a style for everyone. Maybe every girl in
your party prefers their hair up. Well, then you're set. But the up styles of the hair do not
have to be the same. Some might want to wear buns, some might want to wear twists,
and others might prefer simple ponytails. Try to gauge everyone's personality when it
comes to her hair.
● When it comes to their makeup, always match it to the color of the dress and the
bridesmaid’s skin tone. You don't want them to wear a red dress and have bright green
eye shadow on. This isn't going to look good even if you're having a Christmas wedding.
Believe me when I say that they should match the shades of their dress to the shades
that they wear on their face, but very subtly. Remind them that less is more. Have them
choose one aspect of their face, either eyes or lips, and let that be the focal point. The
other one can be a lot subtler.
● Timeless over trendy makeup all the time. If big cat eyes and fake eyelashes are in
now, well, they may not be in fifteen years from now, because they weren't in fifteen
years ago either. Always keep in mind that you want that timeless elegance. You want
to look and draw inspiration from the Katherine Hepburn’s, the Grace Kelly’s, and the
Jackie Kennedy’s of the world. You don't want to draw inspiration from the Paris Hilton’s
or any other fly by night figures.
● When it comes to shoes try to keep it to a two-inch heel maximum if you are having the
same shoe for everyone. These girls are going to be standing on their feet all day.
They're going to be walking down aisles, posing for pictures, dancing, going up and
down stairs, greeting guests and possibly helping them to their chairs. We don't want
anyone falling first of all, and secondly we want your girls to be comfortable. Also, if
possible let the girls choose a style that they're comfortable with. One girl may want a
strappy sandal, another may want something that covers more of their foot, or some may
want a shoe with no heel at all. This is something that they should be picking out.
● Let each girl choose her own purse. Again, this comes down to personal taste. One girl
may be able to leave the house with her makeup, money, and her phone - she's done!
Another girl may need her makeup bag, PDA, phone charger, etc. etc. etc. - just you
name it and she needs it. You know who these girls are. The ones who have those big

huge bags that they can't find anything in. Then you have the other girls that only need
a purse about four inches wide. Let them choose the purse that they are most
comfortable with. The purses aren't going to be shown in the pictures. So, whichever
purse is most appropriate to matching their needs then that's the one they should
choose.
Remember, these girls are doing you a favor. Their accessories can be a lot more lenient. You
do want them to be happy that entire day. You don't want all the girls upset because they're
unhappy with their wedding attire.
GOOD LOOKING GROOMSMEN/USHERS
The groomsmen/ushers are usually in the same attire, which is a complete tuxedo. A complete
tuxedo consists of six different parts. Remember, the
tuxedo should match the formality of the wedding.
We are going to go through each part of the tuxedo in
case you aren't familiar with them. This will help you
when you're picking out which tuxedo to have them
rent.
● The first part of the tuxedo is the coat or the

jacket. It's usually single or double-breasted.
It can have anywhere between one to four
buttons. If you have an ultra formal event then
tailcoats are very popular. Morning coats are
for formal events ending before 6:00 P.M.
Pay attention to the lapels of the jacket. Now,

what I mean by lapels is that it's the part on each side of the jacket immediately below
the collar that is folded back on either side of the front opening. Lapels should be
approximately 3 to 3 1/2 inches wide and extend no less then 1/8th of an inch less than
the one half way mark between the collar and the shoulders. The point of the lapel

should be slightly less than one half the way between the shoulders of the men’s jackets.
Peak and notch styles are flattering for everyone. So, maybe a mandarin collar is not
exactly your style but this is.
● The second part of the tuxedo is the trousers. They definitely should match the coat's
style and color for formal events. When it comes to the bottom of the trousers you must
look at the cuff hem. They are usually 1 1/2 to 2 inches wide. Lighter fabrics should be
two inches. Heavier fabrics can be slightly shorter. Now, your height matters. If you're
5'8" you want to have a little bit wider cuff. It makes you appear not as short and more
proportional to your size. If you are over 5'10" again you want to be proportional to your
size, so you should have a narrower cuff.
● The third part of your tuxedo is a vest or cummerbund. I do not suggest having both.
● The fourth part is the necktie, which matches the style and color of the overall tuxedo. It
can be a solid color or it can be a print, and usually coincides with the vest or
cummerbund. Again, they should match the formality and style of the wedding. The
bow ties are more traditional, but today you'll see mostly regular neckties being worn
with tuxedos.
● When it comes to the shirt, which is our fifth aspect of the tuxedo, it should be
designated by the style of the wedding and the neck ware. The style and the color of the
tie will help designate what kind of shirt you can match it with. Your shirt should always
have french cuffs - always! It's a tuxedo; it's a formal affair, so make sure it has french
cuffs.
● This brings us to the sixth and final part of the tuxedo, which are your tie pins and cuff
links. Now, with french cuffs you need cuff links. These can be personalized. Each
groomsman/usher does not need to have the same cuff links or tiepins. Let them add a
little bit of personality to this. The same way you let your bridesmaids choose their
shoes and purses let the men choose their cuff links and tie pins. They're not going to
be visible and it makes them feel a little more comfortable.

CHARMING CHILDREN
Let’s discuss the charming children of the party. That's right! I mean your flower girls, your ring
bearers, and your trainbearers. Let's start with the flower girls.
● When it comes to dressing your flower girls your #1 concern is for their comfort. These
are little kids and they definitely want to be
comfortable. You don't want them feeling stuffy;
wearing something too tight on their necks or
anything that makes them itchy. Be sure to find out
from their parents before hand if there are any
fabrics they can't wear, or if they have any allergies
that you should know about.
● Find out if there are certain things they don't like

wearing. When I was a kid I didn't like wearing
anything close to my neck. You could never get me
into a turtleneck or a high collared dress, because I
would be standing there all night pulling on my
collar. You don't want this for your flower girls.
Make sure they're comfortable.
● For fall and winter weddings velvet and taffeta are perfect. They're a little bit of a heavier
fabric, so the girls won't be as cold as they may be if they were wearing a lighter fabric.
Remember, you may need to have a little light sweater available for them to wear as
well.
● For spring and summer weddings cottons or light fabrics like linen are fine. You want to
keep the girls cool for these two seasons. You don't want them perspiring simply
because their attire is inappropriate for the season.
● Flower girl dresses should always be ankle length so that their shoes are visible. And
speaking of shoes - they should have ballet slippers on. Nothing with a heel or any type

of sandal. Ballet slippers are the traditional shoes worn with flower girl dresses. Now, if
you're having a beach wedding then of course wear sandals.
● You have three options when it comes to colors and what you want them to look like.
1. Mini bride. This means that they have the same color dress as you - traditionally
white. But what sets their dress apart from looking like a communion dress is
that there is usually a colored sash around the waist or a colored accent some
place. Maybe the trim or the hemline has a color that matches the bridesmaids'
dresses.
2. One of the girls. This means they have a dress that's similar in style, color, and
fabric to the bridesmaids. Again, be sure that it's age appropriate. You don't
want anything that is too revealing or too sensual for a child.
3. Small and special. The third option you have available to you is actually the
option I chose for my wedding. You can have your flower girls in a dress all of
their own, which compliments your dress as well as your bridesmaids. For my
wedding, I wore a cream colored dress, my bridesmaids were in brown and my
flower girls wore burnt gold dresses. In their words, they looked like “Belle” from
Beauty and the Beast. They were young and I wanted them to feel special and
like little princesses.
When it comes to your ring bearers and trainbearers, again, the number one rule - think comfort!
● Ask their parents if there are any fabrics that they're uncomfortable with. Is there a style
that they don't like to wear, or any other particular thing that they don't like wearing? In
fall and winter synthetic fabrics or wool can be used. It's a little bit more comfortable and
it's warmer for them. For summer and spring have them in cotton.
● As far as shoes go they should opt for a pair that they own already. Most little boys have
dress shoes already. This way they won't have to break in a new pair of shoes, but do
make sure they match the color of the guys' shoes. The worst thing you could have in a
bridal party is a little boy who is uncomfortable in their shoes.

● You have two options when it comes to their attire.
1. Mini groom. Here the tuxedo matches the groom's tuxedo but not the
groomsmen or ushers. What usually sets apart the groom's tuxedo and the
groomsmen or usher's tuxedo are their vest and necktie choices. So, if you're
going to have a mini groom make sure their tuxedo matches the grooms.
2. Boys will be boys. A tuxedo that consists of shorts instead of trousers. The
shirt will have a rounded collar with no tie. This is very good for a summer
wedding especially if you're having somewhat of a nautically themed wedding.
This is a good way to think about it.
A nautically themed wedding usually has the gentleman in light pants, usually a
suit of a khaki color. Their suit jacket is usually of a navy blue color. Their
shirts are usually white, and again, they'll have a tie but it will be a more
informal tie without any vest or cummerbund. If you're taking this option just
remember that for the boys you can keep this exact look, but just have them
wear shorts.
● If you're going for a black formal affair you can have them wear shorts as well. But just
make sure they're black shorts. Again, no tie and a round collared shirt. Always
remember that for shorts you want them to wear black folded down socks and dress
shoes. If they're going to be in that nautically themed or summer wedding, they could
wear white folded down socks with white shoes. Be sure you always match.
Mention what your theme is to your tuxedo rental store or the store in which you're going to
purchase the little boy's tuxedo, because they might have some more options for you. Always
keep in mind that the trainbearers, ring bearers, and flower girl's attire are paid for by the bride
and groom respectively. This attire is bought as part of the gift to the flower girls, ring bearers
and trainbearers.

PRETTY GREAT PARENTS
What styles and fashions should your parents be wearing to your wedding?
● The fathers’ tuxedos should be similar in style to that of the groom and groomsmen but
not an exact match. You can all go to the same store, but they don't need to have a
vest, cummerbund, or tie like the groom or groomsmen. They can wear a plain black tie
if they choose. If he has his own tuxedo let him use it.
● Mothers should always look like mothers. I

understand they don't want to be old enough to
have a daughter or son who's getting married.
We all hear it and one day we will all be that
mother, but they should look like moms
nonetheless. They shouldn't wear anything that's
too revealing or anything that's too low cut. We
want them to look pretty and feel comfortable
without looking distasteful.
● Moms should have dresses or gowns - no pants

suits. Business attire is not appropriate since this
is a formal affair. However, today you will see
mothers of the brides and grooms wearing very big and wide palazzo type pants with a
petticoat type of jacket on top. This is perfectly acceptable if they wish to do this.
However, it shouldn't be tight fitting or a fabric that is not forgiving. It should have some
type of embroidery on it if necessary, or made from a brocade material. But it definitely
should be motherly not homely. You can dress the part as the mother of the bride, look
elegant and stylish, without looking tacky.
● The color of the mothers’ outfits should coordinate with the color scheme but not be an
exact match. If you're having everyone wearing browns in your bridal party then, well,
why not let your mom wear a taupe or something in the gold family. She will then blend
well with your bridal party. Be sure it's a color that they're comfortable with.

● They should have their hair and makeup done with the bride on the day of the wedding.
As much as it's your day, it's also their day too. Your mothers have nurtured you, been
there for you every step of the way leading up to this point of your life, and now you're
totally ready to go out on your own - one hundred percent. This is the day that they
should be able to shine and look absolutely gorgeous. Photos will be taken of the moms
and you want to make certain that they look and feel their absolute best.


Chapter 5
CATERING
When it comes to catering your wedding, you actually have four different options to choose
from. These options are:
1. Buffet Style. This is where all the food is lined up
on tables and the guests serve themselves. They
can have whatever they prefer. With me that would
probably be one of everything that's on the table.
2. American Style/Sit down dinner. Here the food is

brought to the guests already plated while they are
seated. At times, due to my extreme hunger at this
point in any wedding, I've had to control myself
from physically attacking the waiters carrying the
trays of food even before they get to the tables.
Well, I might be exaggerating slightly, but believe
me it's come close. Let's return to discussing the
American Style or sit down dinner as it's usually
referred to. All the food they'll be eating will be on
that plate, but of course where else would it be!
3. Family Style. This is where the waiters bring out large platters of food. The platters are
placed on the table, and the guests can proceed to help themselves to whatever food
they prefer, and to whatever amount they desire. This is a throw back to that age-old
"football wedding", where large platters of only sandwiches were placed in the middle of
each table, along with pitchers of soda and beer as added attractions. If a table was out
of ham sandwiches, someone from another table would toss one over. Oh, those good
old inexpensive days!

4. French Style. Here the waiters again bring out large platters of food, the guests then
pick and choose what they want, but the waiters serve them.
The most typical and widely used options are the Buffet and American Styles. When it comes to
discussing the catering with the reception hall vendor be sure to obtain the following:
● You want to have an itemized list of all the food that's going to be served at each course.
If they tell you that you're going to have three or four separate courses served, you want
to know exactly what your guests will be served as far as appetizers, salads, soups, etc.
For the main course, which is usually a meat, you want to know exactly what meat they'll
be serving, and if there will be choices. Fish can also be included as one of the main
course dishes. You'll also want to know if there will be a pasta dish. Make sure all of
these offerings are itemized. You might also want to know what ingredients they'll be
using.
● Be sure to arrange for a food tasting and linen inspection. This is crucial. You're paying
all this money for food and you want to make sure that the food you're paying for is
acceptable to your taste. You also want to be sure that the linens that are going to be on
your tables be in pristine condition. There should be no visible stains, rips, or fraying
anywhere. You also want to make sure that they are the correct color that was originally
promised you.
● You might want to take into consideration your guests' dietary needs. Try to arrange
with your caterer to have available a special vegetable dish, low sodium dish, or maybe
a non-sugar dessert that a special guest might require. You can't be expected to satisfy
every ones needs, so just do the best you can. You aim to please, but you just can't
please everyone.
● You also want to be given a time line as to when each course will be served. Most
traditional American wedding receptions are approximately four hours long, not including
the cocktail hour. You want to be told at approximately what time each course will be
served. If you have an eight to twelve wedding - your appetizer will be served at eight
thirty, your salad/soup will be served at nine, your entree served at nine forty-five, etc.
You want to have some type of gauge as to when and what things will be served. I've

yet to attend a wedding that has run exactly by the clock. Eventually everything usually
works out according to plan, even if the "tick" sometimes isn't exactly in sync with the
"tock".
● Remember to arrange meals for your DJ or band, photographer, videographer, and any
other service personnel that you may be bringing in, such as a wedding coordinator.
These vendors are usually told that they are going to be fed and they expect to eat.
Believe me it's not a good idea to starve the guys who are supplying the music! They
don't have to be served the exact same things as your guests. Usually, at most
reputable places, the vendors you bring in will be served a plate of food, a very
respectable plate of food I might add, where the cost is one third to one half the price of
a guest's dinner. Be sure to find this out and make sure it's written into your contract
before you give a deposit.
● The last thing that you want to find out from your caterer is, do they have a cake cutting
fee? Remember the song with the words "the bride cuts the cake". I say let the bride
stand there the remainder of the night and cut that cake! Believe me it will be a lot
cheaper. Okay, enough with the humor. Let's get back to reality. There are two things
to consider about cake cutting.
○ If the vendor is making your cake then the cake-cutting fee isn't applicable. If
you're bringing a cake in from another bakery, cake vendor or establishment, find
out if they're going to charge you to cut the cake. If there is an extra fee, try to
negotiate it out of the contract. If you're able to do that be sure that the fee has
been removed from the contract.
○ You can have someone else cut your cake like a guest. Maybe you have an aunt
who bakes all the time that can cut the cake. Cutting the cake can usually cost
anywhere from one to three dollars per person which can add up to an
astronomical fee. Three dollars per person for two hundred guests - right there
you're talking about six hundred dollars. A no cake cutting fee clause in your
contract could help you save six hundred dollars that could be used for some
other necessity, or you can just deposit that money into your bank account.

When you're entering into a catering contract and speaking to the vendor, try to get all of these
things out of the way in advance so there's no problem on the day of your wedding.
CAKE
Other then the bride's dress and the bride and groom themselves, the cake is usually the most
memorable part of the evening as far as visuals are concerned. People will remember what the
cake looked like. It's spotlighted at the reception, almost like the fireworks spectacular at a fair.
The cake is definitely the highlight or the main event of the evening.
The national average cost of a cake is five dollars per slice. Keep in mind that this is the
average cost throughout the whole country. Here are seven cake tips that I'd like to share with
you.
1. The first is that local bakers are less expensive than bakers who specialize in wedding
cakes. This is a known fact. If you can find a local baker who's experienced with cakes
and can make a beautiful and tasty cake, then that can usually cost you anywhere
between one third to one half the price you would pay a person who specializes in
wedding cakes. And they do exist especially in the large metro areas. There are people
who specialize in only creating wedding and special occasion cakes. If you're trying to
save money go to a local vendor - a local baker that you trust.
2. The second one is to decide on your top three cakes before you visit your vendor.
Search online! Remember that whole do your homework theory! Am I sounding a little
too much like a teacher? - Sorry! Well, this is where it will come in handy. Go online
and see what you like. Do you like french cream? Do you like cannoli cream? Do you
like butter cream? Do you want seven layers? Do you want two layers? Do you want a
cake at all? These are things you want to figure out for yourselves. What colors do you
prefer? If you want flowers? Intricate designs? Find your top three cakes as far as
design, style, and overall look. Then print them out if you're getting them offline, or cut
them out of a magazine. Bring them to the vendor so he or she can immediately get an

idea and feel as to what your preferences are.
3. Elaborate designs on any cake increase the price significantly. If you want a lot of
filigree, gold leafing, and maybe a lot of those little edible pearls, be prepared to spend a
lot more money.
4. Keep in mind the time of year you're having your wedding. There are certain times of
the year that the cakes are going to be more expensive depending on what your
ingredients are and what kind of fillings you prefer. If you're having a fruit filling, will it be
in season at that time? Between May and October cakes are going to be in high
demand, therefore, vendors will be in high demand. Remember the months between
May and October are prime choice months for weddings.
5. Start shopping for cakes eight to twelve weeks in advance. The reason for this is your
vendors will be in high demand, and they'll be getting a lot of requests from others if their
work is exceptional and they're reputable.
6. Sample, sample, sample! This is the best part of shopping for your wedding and
wedding cake. You get to try all of these delicious pieces of cakes. Now, I don't want
you competing with cookie monster. He doesn't have to worry about fitting into a
wedding dress, and besides he's blue. Just taste test small pieces of cake. Remember
you want your bridal dress to fit properly. You do want to know what's in the cake and
how it tastes in advance, so not to be hit with any surprises on the day of your wedding.
7. The seventh tip when it comes to buying a cake is to get the exact ingredients written
into the contract. Remember you want to know exactly what 's going to be put into your
cake. You also want to know what substitutes, if necessary, are going to be utilized.
This is very important in regards to allergies and anything else of that nature. If you
have a peanut allergy you don't want the baker using any products that may contain
peanuts or have even been near nuts. You just want to be sure as to what exactly will
be put into your cake.
Another cake that's becoming very well associated with weddings is a groom's cake. There are
five aspects to a groom's cake.

1. The first is that it's typically found in Southern American states and becoming
increasingly popular all around the world. You'll find more and more couples are doing
groom’s cakes.
2. It's typically the dessert for the rehearsal dinner or can be a second cake for the
reception. The groom's favorite flavor and filling are put into the cake if used at the
rehearsal dinner. If your groom loves chocolate, then that's usually what the filling is.
3. If the cake is served at the reception as a second dessert, you want it to be the exact
opposite of what your wedding cake is. If your wedding cake is something outrageous,
you will want your groom's cake to be something very simple and vice versa. This is so
the guests have more of a selection.
4. The groom's cake should be a layered sheet cake. Nothing bigger then that. It shouldn't
have any tiers. It can be a different shape but it definitely should be a layered sheet
cake.
5. The number one requirement when it comes to the groom's cake is to reflect the groom's
interests. This is the fun cake. This is the cake where if your groom is a huge sports
fan, have the cake decorated in his teams favorite colors or emblems. A very big feature
is that if he's into movies then have the cake shaped into a character or something else
special from that movie. One that I've seen was the character ET, where they had the
cake shaped exactly like ET. Other ones were sports themes where they actually have
a round cake shaped into a stadium for baseball teams. Another was a large sheet cake
decorated as a football field with little toy football players on the field. I've seen one
where the groom was a very well known artist. He was very good and took great pride in
his artistry. So, they made a cake that was shaped like a paintbrush. You can basically
do anything.
There are other options when it comes to your cakes.
● Now you don't have to have a five-tier layer cake when it comes to your wedding cake,
you can have a cupcake tower. This has become increasingly popular. The reason why
is because it's so quaint, cute, and actually simple to do. The bride and groom could

easily do this themselves. It's very simple to make a bunch of cupcakes. Have four or
five people making cupcakes and decorating them at least a day or two before the
wedding. It's less expensive to do a cupcake tower.
● You can also have a cake with fake layers. What this means is that if you really want to
go for that seven-tiered cake but it's too expensive, there's no reason why most of the
cake can’t be made of Styrofoam, while only the bottom and top layers are actually the
cake. It's a very common practice.
● Another way to go would be to have an entirely phony cake just because of your
indifference as far as wedding cakes go. You simply might want that cake at the
wedding only to be used as a prop for your photos. One, it will save you a great deal of
money. Two, anyone can do it. They can go to a craft shop and purchase some
Styrofoam, and basically wrap it in fondant. It's very simple to do and it's very cost
effective.
● You can also use individual mini wedding cakes. These are usually a little bit pricier.
They are along the same concept as the cupcake tower, except they're actually
individual wedding cakes decorated as a wedding cake. They can either be served in a
plate or placed in front of each guest, or they can be boxed and made part of the favor.
These are a little more expensive because they have to design each cake separately as
opposed to designing just one large wedding cake.
● You can always opt for a smaller cake along with other desserts. Which means if you
really just aren't a cake person but you want that cake-cutting photo, you can get a small
two or three layer cake. A family member such as your mom, sister, aunt, etc can bake
it. You can serve other desserts such as ice cream, pies, or tarts, along with the small
cake. This is very similar to the dessert hour, also known as the Venetian hour, used at
weddings in the Northern United States and parts of Europe. This dessert hour consists
of every dessert imaginable with not much emphasis on the wedding cake.
Another item that adds to your cake costs are your cake toppers. If you look at the picture
there's a cute little bride and groom in the picture, well, that's a cake topper. You can have a
cute little bride and groom. A lot of brides today are doing things that relate to their theme.

They're also doing initials. You'll find this online a lot or in magazines, where the couple's initials
are used as a cake topper and decorated with rhinestones or made of a nice metal. You can do
whatever your heart desires. Anything you want can be done. The only thing you have to be
aware of when it comes to your cake toppers is it's weight. You don't want it to be too heavy or
it may fall right through your cake.
WEDDING STATIONERY
What exactly makes up a full formal wedding invitation? It's actually devised of six different
parts.
● The first is the actual invitation itself. This is
where all your information will be printed - your
names, the address, the church, etc.
● Next is your reception card. This is the card

that has your reception information on it.
● Usually there are directions and maps included

to either the church or to wherever your
ceremony is being held, and/or your reception
depending on how far away it is.
● A response card, which usually is a regular

folded card that is mailed back to you.
● A liner, which is generally tissue paper.
● And then there are three envelopes - the outer envelope, the inner envelope, and the
response envelope.
○ The outer envelope is actually where you write the address, the return address,
and your stamp.

○ The inner envelope is usually thicker and lined. Inside this envelope is where all
your invitation parts will be placed.
○ The third envelope is for the response card. It's self-addressed back to you and
already stamped so that your guests just have to pop it into a mailbox.
What are your printing options when it comes to your invitations? Well, you actually have five
different options.
● The first one is engraving. Engraving makes the text look as if it's raised off of the
paper. Metal plates are usually used for this process. It's usually not that easy to find
engravers. This is the most expensive procedure for printing.
● The next most expensive procedure is called calligraphy. This is that fancy script that
you find everywhere. If done by hand it's expensive, but now there's something called
digital calligraphy that is actually quite affordable.
● There is also thermography which is the most popular printing used for invitations.
Ninety-nine percent of the time thermography is what is used on those invitations that
you receive. It has a very similar look as engraving. The text is raised off the page but
it's a fraction of the cost. This is one of the most popular printing methods you'll find on
invitations and the most affordable.
● The fourth is offset printing. This is the most common printing that you'll find. It is used
far more than any other form of printing. It can be done at home from your own regular
printer. And what's very unique with offset printing is that it allows you to use multiple
colors, and once again it is the most affordable.
● The fifth one is written invitations. The only time that you can use written invitations is
when you have less then fifty invited guests. This is a rule of etiquette. For these
invitations you'll need an extremely good handwriting, very straight and legible. This
method is very cost effective.

There will be additional stationery needs when dealing with your wedding invitations. They are
as follows:
● Save the date. These are sent anywhere between six to eight months in advance
depending on what type of wedding you're having. The use of magnets is very common
now as reminders for saving dates. They can be placed on your refrigerator, and can be
found all over the Internet. "Save the dates" range anywhere from seventy-five cents to
three dollars each. So, just be aware of that price before you purchase any.
● Rain cards that are included in your normal invitation that you send out to your guests.
Basically, these are rain dates in case of foul weather. If any part of your affair is to be
held outdoors a rain date will be required. It will inform the guests as to the new date,
place, and time of your ceremony and/or reception.
● Announcements are the cards that are sent out to relatives, friends, etc. who couldn't
attend the wedding or who weren't invited to the wedding, and announces that you've
been married and when. These are sent out one or two weeks after your wedding day.
● Thank you cards. You're going to have a lot of thank you notes to write, between your
bridal shower, bachelorette party, engagement party, and of course, your wedding itself.
These are usually sent out four to six weeks after the event takes place. They should be
hand written and should reference the gift that you've received from them. If you didn't
receive a gift simply refer to the fact that they showed up.
● The last are ceremony programs. These are optional. Many people tend not to use
these. These programs state the line up of the ceremony, how it will run down, the
members of the wedding party, and in what order they're presented. It usually contains
a thank you from the couple. And since the ceremony is before the reception, it will
usually contain additional directions to the reception.

INVITATIONS: ADDRESSING & ASSEMBLY
Let’s discuss your invitations as far as addressing and assembling them. Before you even get
started there are four things you're going to need.
● First, you're going to enlist helpers who have good penmanship. Good penmanship
meaning the kind that anyone will be able to decipher! If you've decided to hand write
addresses onto the inner and outer envelopes, you will definitely need people with good
penmanship assisting you. Remember, you
won't be writing doctor's prescriptions where
the words are barely legible.
● Next, you've got to be sure that you have all

the postage necessary. This includes
postage going onto the outer envelope, which
houses the entire invitation package, and the
postage required for your inner envelope,
which houses the response card. Be sure to
have the correct amount of postage on your
outer envelope, because it will be weighty
due to its extra contents. Remember, no
messing with the post office. They'll be only
too happy to return all those inappropriately
stamped envelopes to you, and might I add "with a smile". Don't make it more difficult
for our postal service to do their job, so make sure you get it done right the first time
around.
● Pens - lots and lots of pens! You'll need pens that write very well, compliment your
penmanship, aren't going to appear choppy when used, and must be of the same color.
Actually, I'm thinking maybe "magical pens"; therefore, when I simply twitch my nose
they'll proceed to write on their own. Well, that's not ever going to happen! So, let's

move on. Black is the most typical and widely used color.
● Envelope moisteners. Save your saliva for swallowing! Moisteners can be purchased at
any office supply store and come in very handy. You don't want to be sitting there licking
three hundred envelopes - trust me.
There are a few Do’s and Don’ts of Addressing.
● DO hand write or preprint addresses onto your envelopes. DON’T use self-adhesive
labels on envelopes. As easy as it sounds, simply printing everything out onto a label
sheet and sticking them onto your envelopes just doesn't appear appropriate. You
definitely should hand write your envelopes, preprint the addresses directly onto each
envelope using your printer, or have them done by a calligrapher.
● DO use the full names and addresses including titles when addressing your invitations.
○ You want to put Mr. & Mrs. Alexander Smith as opposed to using Mr. & Mrs. Alex
Smith.
○ You can use numbers such as 754 for the house address.
○ Streets addresses aren’t so cut and dry. The correct procedure is to write out the
numbers from one to nine, but if it's ten or over use numerical numbers. So, if a
person lives on "9th" Street you must spell out the word "Ninth". If they live on
"11th” Street you can use the numerical version as is. Don't abbreviate streets or
cities. If a person lives on Astoria "Blvd." you must write out the word
"Boulevard". If they reside in "NYC" you must write out the words "New York".
● DO abbreviate states and countries. This is done more to accommodate the post office
than for any other reason. This makes it easier for the post office to sort the mail, and
there's a higher guarantee that your mail will arrive to its destination in a timely manner.
Good examples of this would be abbreviating NY for New York and CA for California.

● DON’T put "and guest" on the outer envelope. It should only be put on the inner
envelope, which contains the entire invitation package. If you're inviting a single cousin
and he doesn't have a girlfriend, remember not to place "and guest" on the outer
envelope, only on the inside one.
I'm also going to help you with some titles, as some people have an aversion as to the correct
use of titles. They don't know exactly what to use or for whom.
● Mr. is used for any male over the age of thirteen years old. If you're sending an
invitation.
● Mrs. is used for a married or widowed female over the age of eighteen years old.
● Ms. is used for a single or divorced female over the age of eighteen.
● Miss is used for any female under the age of eighteen.
● Master is for any male under the age of thirteen.
If you're going towards a more formal route with regards to your wedding, then these titles are
used for the inner envelope as well as the outer envelope. If you're inviting a family named the
Jones, and you have mom and dad Jones, big sister Jones, little brother Jones, and little sister
Jones, you need to know if big sister Jones is over the age of eighteen? If so, then she gets her
own invitation - there's no question about that. However, we now have little sister and little
brother Jones. Well, how old are little sister and little brother Jones? To properly address the
outer envelope you'll need to know their age order. The inner envelope has the same list,
without the address. Here’s a small sample:
Mr. & Mrs. Thomas Jones

Miss Catherine Jones
Master Joseph Jones
754 Ninth Street
New York, NY 10001
If you're going the informal route you can mail the invitation to “the Jones Family”, but actually
put John and Jane Jones and then list the kids names according to their descending ages,
oldest to the youngest, on the inner envelope. You only have to write their first names.
John and Jane Jones

Molly, Stephen and Christopher

Professionals always retain their titles when it comes to addressing them.
● Judges are addressed as the Honorable Joseph Smith.
● Doctors are addressed as Dr. Joseph Smith, but you don't have to acknowledge what
type of doctor they are.
● Political figures, clergy, and military personnel are addressed by their positions such as
Senator Joseph Smith, Reverend Joseph Smith, and General Joseph Smith.
Here are some other examples that may answer your questions as far as couples are
concerned.
● If the wife is a doctor or professional then you must list the wife's name first as in Dr.
Mary Smith & Mr. Joseph Smith. If she is a judge then again it should read the
Honorable Mary Smith & Mr. Joseph Smith.
● If the gentlemen is the professional and has a title associated with his name then the
invitation should read Dr. & Mrs. Joseph Smith, or Honorable Joseph Smith and then the
wife's name if he is a judge.
● For a family you can put Mr. & Mrs. Joseph Smith & Family, or The Smith Family. I tend
to opt for the second choice.
● For unmarried couples that are living together you list their names, always the woman
first, so it reads as Ms. Catherine Smith & Mr. William Jennings.
Let's go over the ten steps to assembling your invitations.
1. Hold the invitation in front of you with the writing will be facing you.
2. Place the liner, usually tissue paper, over the writing in the center.
3. The reception card is placed, writing up, on top of the tissue paper.
4. Lay the map and any additional insert cards such as a rain card, etc., face up on top of
the reception card.

5. Lay the response card, writing up, on top of its coordinating envelope with the envelope's
writing down. The response card is placed under the envelope's flap, while the writing
on the envelope faces downward.
6. Then place this on top of your maps or any other insert cards that are there already.
7. Take the whole pile and place it into the inner envelope with the response card still at the
top. You're not going to seal this envelope.
8. Turn the inner envelope over and place it with the name facing you into the outer
envelope. Remember, this is the only envelope that you will actually seal.
9. Seal it
10. Stamp it.
And there you have it! Your whole invitation package is fully assembled and ready to be mailed.
Once you place those invitations into the mailbox there's no turning back.
PERSONAL WEDDING NEWSLETTERS & WEBSITES
These tools are a great way to share all the information and late breaking news regarding your
wedding.
● They also fit all of the information that the invitation
didn’t have the room for.
● They can provide an early introduction to the couple,

bridal party, parents, or any other prominent people who
will be part of your wedding.
● They can be used to explain the cultures and customs

others may not be familiar with. For example, if you're
having a very traditional Hindu or Jewish ceremony and
your guests aren't too familiar with the rituals that are
going on during the ceremony, a personal wedding
website or newsletter is a great way to get them
accustomed to it beforehand.

● They can give your guests insight as to what is going to occur.
There are seven things that you should include when it comes to your wedding website or
newsletter.
● Couple's introductions. Tell people who you are. His side may not know that much
about you. Your side may not know that much about him. And maybe your friends and
your co-workers don't know much about the both of you. This is a great way to let
people know who you are, where you grew up, what schools you've attended, if you
have a degree, what your degree is, what your current employment is, your hobbies, and
so on. Tell your proposal story. Explain to people how it happened and how you got to
this point. You may want to include photos of the couple, wedding party, some of the
plans and locations.
● Give wedding day details. These details can include such information as the ceremony
and reception locations and addresses.
● Wedding Party Introductions. Here you can explain the following: Who are they? What
do they do? Who are they in relation to you? Why are they in the party?
● Out of town accommodations and possible attractions. For those who are visiting or
have never been to the area in which you're getting married, maybe there's something
for them to see if they come a few days earlier or stay a few days later.
● Describe the theme of the wedding. If you have already picked out colors, maybe you
can include flowers of that color in the newsletter. If you have a very rustic theme
describe how it's going to play out, and what you envision for the wedding.
● Explain your traditions. Others may be unfamiliar with your traditions.
● You can also include your honeymoon plans. This is a great thing to do if you're going to
a place in the world that you've never been to before, but maybe others have. They
definitely will be contacting you with attractions to see, where you can go and what you

can do, and maybe they have an "in" to something that can actually save you more
money in the long run.
Let's talk about the website for a moment.
● It serves as a virtual wedding hub for guests.
● This website is something that the groom can become involved in. Most guys are pretty
tech-savvy and they love to play on the computer, but when it comes to planning a
wedding many guys feel left out of the process. By creating a wedding website together
this will give them something "wedding related" to do, make them feel useful, and will
also be something that's very helpful for your guests.
● A website can also be utilized after your "I do’s. You can share a post-wedding recap for
those who couldn't attend. You can share the photographs your guests will inevitably
send you with everyone. It's also a great way to share your honeymoon photos too.
Wedding websites are truly a great way to go.
● There are lots of free services available to you engaged couples. There are some
services where you pay to have a personalized URL and have more options such as
RSVP functions and message boards.
Now, let’s discuss the wedding newsletter.
● The wedding newsletter can also be used as a very informative version of the "Save the
date". Today, everyone sends these huge magnets that can cost a fortune. Well, why
not include a smaller, more cost effective magnet with a newsletter? You don't have to
worry if you're not very crafty as far as coming up with a template, as they are readily
available throughout the Internet.
● One difference between a wedding newsletter and a wedding site is that the newsletter
is actually printed and sent out to your guests.

● Another big difference is that the website, depending on which way you go, can be
practically free.
● The newsletter, no matter how you go, is going to cost you something. At the least,
you'll be paying for the postage.
● But they are a great way to get your guests involved and excited about your wedding
even before it happens, especially the non-internet savvy.
Whatever you choose to do -- definitely personalize it. Try to carry the theme of your wedding
throughout the design of your website or newsletter, and have fun with it. That's the best part of
being able to utilize your website or newsletter.
FLOWERS & DECOR
Here are seven tips that I would like to share with you regarding your flowers and decor.
● Flowers and decor should be booked at

least five to seven months in advance.
When you're looking for vendors be sure to
check out approximately five to seven
different ones. Get different quotes and
prices and see what you actually get with
each package that you're offered.
● Your goal is to match your flowers and

decor to your overall theme. Whatever
colors you're using in regards to your decor
should be carried through to your flowers.
Use complimentary flowers to coordinate
with your decor, if the flowers you had
originally chosen simply don't come in the

decor colors you've chosen.
● Be sure to test your bouquet as well. This doesn't mean you have to bring your flowers
to a doctor and have the fluid in the stems tested for any possible floral diseases. Just a
little humor here! Simply ask your florist if you can test the different sizes and designs of
the bouquets. For example, a large cascading bouquet makes a short slender bride
appear even smaller. You want a bouquet that's complimentary to your size, shape,
dress, and hairdo. You want to be able to test these bouquets in your hands while
standing in front of a mirror. You might want to resort to the old adage that reads,
"mirror, mirror, on the wall", to actually find out which bouquet is the “fairest of them all”.
But that only happens in fairy tales, right! Your best bet is to simply see which ones
you're most comfortable holding, and which ones compliment your frame.
● You want to be aware of big flower holidays that can turn a beautiful bouquet of flowers
into dollar signs for a vendor, and at the same time put a hole in your pocket. If your
wedding falls near Valentine's Day or Mother's Day, chances are the cost of your flowers
will be extremely expensive.
● While choosing your flowers usually only consists of the way they look, match the decor,
and smell, you may want to take the extra step and research the meaning of the flowers.
Choosing flowers according to their meanings can convey a deeper feeling throughout
your whole day. If you choose a flower that matches your decor but is also a symbol of
love and respect, this will probably set a good tone throughout your wedding day.
● The most expensive flowers are typically calla lilies and roses. If you really have your
heart set on roses and calla lilies, but your budget doesn't really coordinate with an
entire bouquet of these two flowers, then I suggest using them sparingly. You can make
them your focal point, but not an overwhelming focal point. This way you get the flowers
you want without breaking the bank.
● The next thing you want to think about when you're trying to envision your flowers are
the centerpieces. There are certain details you should be aware of when it comes to
centerpieces.

○ The first is that you really want to think about the height of the centerpiece. You
may have your heart set on very elaborate tall centerpieces, but if the ceiling in
the reception room is low, they will actually make the room feel smaller and more
congested. The bottom line is that this look will make the room simply seem too
crowded.
The opposite is also true. If you have really high vaulted ceilings, but you have
very small, dainty, and short centerpieces, it will make the room appear
extremely enormous and the people will actually look lost in it. You want to take
into consideration the height and depth of the room, and even the size of the
tables when deciding the height of your centerpieces.
○ The next option would be mirror illusions. This is a great way to get more bang
for your buck. You can have small arrangements, tall arrangements, or even
sparse arrangements, but by simply placing a mirror underneath it makes the
arrangement appear fuller then it actually is.
○ Another centerpiece idea is a non-floral arrangement. Candles, fruits, shells, and

things that are associated with your theme really do bring out both the bride and
groom's personalities more. Sometimes this idea is even more cost effective and
can bring together the entire theme of your wedding.
Now, I have my seven saving secrets for you when it comes to your flowers.
● Buy flowers that are in season. Whenever possible try to use flowers that are
considered in season because they honestly do cost less. When you're buying flowers
that are out of season, the florist must then have them imported from other locations
where they're in season. Not only are you paying for the flowers, but also you're
basically paying for their airfare. This really can add up depending on what type of
flowers you're getting. If the flowers themselves are expensive and you're having them
shipped in, well, then you'll actually be paying double the cost of what you would have
paid for flowers that were in season. Plus in season flowers always look ten times better
because they match the elements around you.

● Less is always more. If your favorite flowers are very expensive use them sparingly, and
pair them with less expensive flowers that will blend. A good example of this would be
that if you love American Beauty roses, they're just your favorite red roses, but the
problem is that they're really expensive in your area, then here is what you can do. You
get the flowers that you want but use them sparingly. Just use other red flowers that
match them. Today, florists are putting little crystals or rhinestones in the center of each
rose. What they can do is put these little rhinestones into the middle of the American
Beauty roses, thus allowing them to stand out that much more then the surrounding red
flowers in the bouquet. So, you're able to have the flowers that you want, not cost you
an arm and a leg, and still have them appear as the highlight of your bouquet.
● Always remember that fresh cut flowers are actually less expensive than the structured
ones. What this means is that flowers such as tulips will actually be less expensive than
maybe roses, simply because they don't involve as much work.
● Double duty. This is another good way to save money when it comes to your decor.
Have your flowers for one part of the day be used again in another area. For example,
you can use your bridesmaids' bouquets and even your bridal bouquet as flowers for
their tables, the cake table, or for a sweetheart table. If you're having a very large dais
each girl can place their bouquet in front of them that really decorates the table. This
way you won't need extra decorations for the table. This reuse of floral bouquets can
come in handy because it saves you a heap of money.
● Saving with silk. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a fan of silk flowers. However,
if you use them in the two ways that I'm going to explain they'll actually become elegant
timeless flowers that you'll have forever. You actually can have so many more flowers
and people will never be the wiser.
○ The first way is to mix and match. Surprisingly, brides are deciding more and
more to mix silk flowers with fresh cut flowers. If you really can't afford a lot of
fresh cut flowers, well, get silk ones and mix them in with the other flowers that
you can afford. Believe me they will stand out so beautifully, and nobody will
ever notice that they're silk.

When you're buying silk flowers you have to be sure to buy quality. As with
regular flowers they run the gamut. Sometimes you'll get beautiful ones, and
other times you'll get ones that just look cheap. You really have to get in there
and look and feel them. My preference is not to purchase silk flowers online
unless they have an incredible return policy.
○ My other tip when it comes to silk flowers is that if you're looking to preserve your
bouquet, which a lot of brides do, preserving the live flowers can cost you
hundreds of dollars, so just have a replica made using silk flowers. It costs so
much less and anyone who's good with flowers can actually make it. You'll be
preserving your bouquet, and it can be completed even before you go on your
honeymoon. Many people won't do this. There are those of you who really want
to preserve their bouquet, only for the fact that it’s a family honored tradition. It is
a gorgeous memento to have from your wedding. So, if you’re going to do it then
do it with silk flowers.
● Share the cost. Now, what does this mean? If there's another wedding on the same
day as yours, get in touch with the bride and groom and see if they would like to split the
cost of the flowers. Let's say that your ceremony is at 12:00 and the other ceremony is
at 11:00, well, get together with them. See if you have the same idea as far as flowers,
or see if you can compromise on ideas as far as flowers -- and then split the cost.
Therefore, you're both getting the flowers you want but at a fraction of the price.
When it comes to this, you know my rule, that both the bride and the groom should be
signing the contract. Well, this is doubly important. If you're sharing the cost with
another bride and groom be sure that they both sign the contract.
● The single big impact. What does this mean, right? It's kind of scary sounding isn't it?
Use single flowers for your bridesmaids, maid of honor, mother of the bride, and mother
of the groom. Instead of them having a very elaborate bouquet they can carry a single
flower wrapped with ribbon. It makes such a beautiful and simple statement. When you
have your girls holding it, for some reason, it's an absolutely stunning look. What it really
does is put more emphasis on the girls as far as their appearance. It makes them feel a
little bit more special, and it also costs one third of what a big bouquet would cost. For

example, a great flower for the summer is a sunflower. Keep this in mind when going to
your florist.
Keep an open mind when it comes to your flowers, because as gorgeous as they are you want
to be sure you're getting everything you want without paying an exorbitant amount of money.
7 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR FLORIST?
There are seven questions to ask your florist.
● Who will be the main florist working on your wedding? The reason you want to know this
is because you want to meet with this person and see examples of their work. You want
to be sure it’s definitely that person’s floral creations that are being used at your
wedding. This will give you an insight as to what they can provide for you.
● Have they worked at your ceremony

location in the past? If so, do they have
photos of their work at this location
available for you to see? You want to
know exactly what they've done at this
place, or if they've worked at this location
before - your temple or your church. You
want to see what they can do. Maybe
they can do something that you've never
thought was possible. You want to see
pictures because maybe you're not one
hundred percent up on your flower lingo,
and you're not exactly sure what some of
the words mean.
● Have you ever worked at my reception

location in the past? If so, do you have photos of your work from there? The same

premise as for the ceremony location. You want to see what they can do for you with
the room that you've provided for them.
● May I see other samples of your work that are relevant to our theme/color scheme and
time of year? If you're having a beach wedding in July, well, why don't you see what
they can do for you. Maybe you'll get ideas from them, but you can also gauge what
they can actually provide for you.
● What flowers do you recommend for our wedding? The reason for this question is to
find out if they're going to recommend flowers that are realistically appropriate for your
theme, color, and time of year, or they're going to recommend the most expensive
flowers. You have to be sure you accurately convey what you envision for your
wedding. Do you want something very Victorian, very classical, or very elegant? Do
you want something very funky and modern? See what they recommend to you for your
wedding.
Be sure to do your research in advance. Remember your research! This way you'll
have some kind of base information in order to distinguish whether they're trying to pull
at your purse strings, or they're actually trying to help you create the wedding of your
dreams.
● Do you offer any packages? If so, can you give us a run down of the prices and what's
included in each package? Sometimes it's less expensive to get your flowers from
vendors who offer them "ala carte", or also known as creating your own package deal.
Ordering a large volume of certain items is more cost effective when going with package
deals. Find out what packages they offer, if any of them are within your budget, or are
within your vision as to what you need, then see what they can do for you.
● Is delivery and set up extra? If they tell you it's going to cost you forty-five dollars for
delivery and two hundred dollars to set up, then see if you can negotiate to get the cost
of both or either down to nothing or at least to a very minimal amount. Remember, it's
not necessary to tip your florist, but it's still your decision to make. You might feel that
they've charged you a very reasonable or low price for your flowers, so you may want to
tip them. It's your decision. But, be sure that if you're paying for both delivery and set

up, it won't cost you an exorbitant amount of money. Depending upon your choice of
centerpieces the florist may not have to do much of anything as far as the set up goes.
Again make sure you're being charged accordingly.
SMILE FOR THE CAMERA
Here’s some information, which will help you when you begin your search to find a good reliable
photographer.
● The first thing you're going to have to do is to interview photographers seven to ten
months prior to your wedding date. Photographers tend to book up early. Because of
the different styles of photography, and the fact that you want to have that one-on-one
close relationship with your photographer, you really want to find the right one.
● You also want to decide on the main style you'd like to shoot. For example formal or
photojournalism/candid.
○ Now, photojournalism or candid, as

they used to be called, and sometimes
still are, is a very laid back type of
paparazzi look. These are the
photographers that you really don't see
or hear, but they are there doing their
job. They're quietly shooting every
single photograph they possibly can,
and capturing those special moments
that posing for a photo can never
reproduce.
○ Then you have the formal pictures -

which are the ones that you pose for. The photographer will direct you to tilt your
head in a certain direction, hold your bouquet a certain way, smile at each other
lovingly, look down at your hands, etc. Yes, you'll hear all of that.
My advice to you is to get a combination of the two. Ideally, you want to get about a
75/25% split. You want 75% of your photographs to be photo journalistic where they're
just catching you, your husband, your bridal party, and your guests in special ways by
simply capturing those special moments. And then you want the other 25% to be formal
because these are the pictures that you hand out every so often. These are the pictures
that contain your bridal party, your parents, your relatives, your siblings, etc.
● Always be sure to inquire as to the type of technology they are using as far as cameras,
editing software, etc. If you're a novice when it comes to the field of technology: i.e. as
far as a camera is concerned you're only good with a disposable, and as far as editing
software yours consists of a marker and a pair of scissors, well, then take a little crash
course with regards to the top cameras and editing software being used in the business.
Go back to your research and homework and get a gauge as to what photographers are
using today. See if they're using the most updated equipment. Remember, you don't
want pictures that are going to be dated or very old, but you also don't want too much of
the glitz and glamour when it comes to your photography.
● During the interview process you want to review their portfolio with a very keen eye. You
want to look for those photos that appeal to you. Maybe you saw a pose that you really
liked in the first photographer's portfolio, but the second photographer doesn't offer that
particular pose. Inquire about it. Try to keep a mental note or even written notes about
the photographs that you prefer. This way when you do sign with a photographer you
can give them a list of the “must take shots”, and then you'll finally have the pictures of
your dreams.
● Finally, you want to insist on retaining all the negatives and the copyright release. What
this means is if they take sixteen hundred photos you want to have those sixteen
hundred negatives, whether they be digital, CD, or actual physical negatives. You want
to have every single photo even if they have taken it of his/her thumb while they were
practicing with a new flash. You want to get a signed copyright release, so that if you

ever decide that you want to publish your photos, post them on your own website, post
them on some other website, or even use them for financial gain, you won't have to pay
your photographer any royalty.
The seven questions you're going to have to ask your photographer.
1. Do they offer packages? If so, what do they include? You want to be sure that it's more
cost effective for you to look into these packages rather than ordering everything a la
carte. The main items you want to make sure you obtain from your photographer are all
of your negatives. You also want to know the amount of time, as far as the number of
hours, they will spend taking your photos. Do you want them there when you're getting
dressed, at the ceremony, and how late do you want them to stay at the reception? Be
sure to keep all this in mind.
2. Inquire as to how many pictures the photographer will take, and how many proofs will
they provide you with? Now, your proofs and your negatives are two different items. If
the photographer takes sixteen hundred pictures you may only be provided with seven
hundred prints. The reason for this is that they only take the time out to print, usually on
a very thick hard stock, the pictures that they feel are the best ones that were taken on
the day of your wedding. You always want to try to get a good amount of proofs. If
they're taking sixteen hundred pictures, but they're only giving you two hundred proofs,
well, that's not acceptable. It should be at least 50% if not more.
3. Can one service be replaced with another? This one is my favorite. For instance, if you
prefer a particular package that they offer, but the only problem is that this package only
offers one parent album but you need two, try to make a swap. The parent album is a
smaller version of the album you'll be receiving. So, maybe if the package offers you 8 X
10 prints, 5 X 7 prints, and one hundred thank you cards, all of which you don't need,
see if the photographer will replace those items with an additional copy of a parent
album. This way you'll be getting exactly what you want without getting items you have
no use for. And most importantly all this won't cost you any extra money.
4. What is the turn-around time for proofs and prints? If you're getting married in June you
should be able to see your photos by September. If you're not going to receive your

proofs back until the next June then this isn't the photographer you want to go with. You
want your photos returned quickly without having to wait an excessively long amount of
time. Be sure to get a turn-around time from your vendor, and also be sure to have that
included on your contract.
5. Do you offer digital albums? For those of you who are computer illiterate - you don't
need this. For those of you who may not be so computer savvy, but want to be able to
share your proofs with your out-of-town guests, friends, or family members without
having to lug around a heavy album, then see if the photographer offers a digital album.
What this means is that the photographer takes the digital photos that were shot,
uploads them on to a digital friendly website, and hosts it for about a month or two. This
way your digital album will be online for whomever wishes to view it. Now, if you're
somewhat user friendly and the photographer doesn't offer a digital album, but you'll be
receiving your digital proofs on CD or DVD, then what you can do is upload those
pictures on to any one of the free share sites such as Picasa by Google, Shutterfly, or
even Kodak Gallery. These can be shared with anyone who has an email address.
6. In case of illness or emergency what is your contingency plan? What happens if on the
day of the wedding your photographer comes down with the flu? You know that he won't
be able to show up, but you want to make sure that the person who does show up is
qualified. You want to make sure that it's not going to be someone whose work you
won't like. If the photographer tells you they will send another photographer as a
replacement, you want to review that person's work as well. They will be the one
shooting your wedding, so you want to be sure that person is capable of doing
everything you want done.
7. Are you familiar with our wedding locations? If so, can you explain your vision for our
wedding photos? What this entails is the fact that maybe they've worked at your
reception location before, and know most of the best places to take your pictures. See
what they can give you as far as advice, tips, and whatever. If you don't hire them the
worst thing that can happen is that you have more ideas to pass on to the photographer
that you do hire. I hope I've been able to help with choosing the right photographer.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION
Let's get right to it - lights, camera, and action --- roll ‘em! I believe that a video is a must have
since you and your future husband will remember the "least" about your wedding. The entire
day will feel very rushed to you. You'll be saying your vows, going for pictures, saying hello to
every single guest, dancing when you
have to dance, and eating when you get
a second to eat. The whole day will
actually seem like a blur to you, it did for
me.
Even when you receive your finished

photos they'll only be a remembrance of
a small part of your wedding day. You'll
be able to remember some parts, but you
want to be able to remember every single aspect of your wedding. This is where the video
becomes useful. It actually acts as a memory tool. You get to view everything that has actually
occurred. There may be some good occurrences and some bad, but remember there's always
that "delete" button.
When it comes to your video there are three C's you should be aware of. Remember, there are
four for the diamond! Well, there are three C's for the video.
● You want the video to be very crisp. It should be sharp, not blurry.
● You want it to be crystal clear. You don't want the camera to be going in and out of
focus. You especially don't want anything obstructing your view.
● And you definitely want the color setting to be set correctly.
Here’s what to look for when searching for a videographer.

1. You should start interviewing your videographer six to nine months prior to your
wedding. You should interview at least five to seven different studios to get a range of
prices and services available.
2. Always remember to inquire about what technology is being used in regards to the types
of cameras, microphones, dubbing machines, etc. You want to make certain they are
using equipment that is considered high-end technology. And in order for you to
determine this you have to do a little research on your own. To help you with this you
can check out such sites as cNet.com, or other similar sites that can give you the scoop
as to what the latest technology is as far as videographers are concerned.
3. Remember to ask to review a complete wedding video. You don't want to view only
wedding highlights and ceremonies. You want to see the entire completed video from
start to finish to determine for yourself if they're qualified. They probably will show you
the best of their best but that's fine. However, you do want to get a complete overview
as to what they can offer and accomplish for you.
Photographic studios are usually associated with videographers that specialize in the same
styles. In a similar segment we had discussed the different styles of photography, whether it
was candid such as photo journalistic or something more formal. Well, if you want to go for the
photo journalistic look, go for a videographer that does documentary style work.
Now, let's discuss the questions you need to ask your videographer.
1. Do you offer packages? If so, what are they? You want to know what their price
breakdowns are, what services they automatically provide, and the approximate worth of
each service they offer.
2. How many hours do you shoot? One of their packages may offer you six hours of
continuous shooting. Well, that may seem great, but you have to remember that your
day starts a long time before your ceremony or reception does. So, if you want to have
all of this caught on video you need to factor in that time as well. Let's just say your
ceremony starts at two o'clock and your reception starts at seven o'clock, well, that's
already five hours. You really need to find out how many hours of continuous shooting is

provided for in your package.
3. How many cameras will they be using? There are certain times two cameras are a
necessity. There's an amazing shot every couple should have of themselves, and that's
the moment you're walking down the aisle. There should be one camera focused on you
catching your every glance, your every move, a smile, a tear, everything. At the same
time there should be another camera focused on your husband to be. Therefore, the
two shots can be dubbed together giving you a complete picture of that exact moment -
what he sees when he first sees you. It really is a beautiful moment that should be
captured for all time.
This is the only time that I really believe you should have the use of two cameras. If your
package only includes one camera with continuous shooting, find out how much it would
cost to have an additional camera just for the ceremony. In the long run it's really worth
the extra money. Just remember to get price quotes from the different videographers
you see as to what this extra camera will cost, so that you'll know whether or not you're
being overcharged or getting a reasonable price. If the price of this second camera is
simply too costly for you, just set up your own personal camera and focus it on the
groom. Then you can give that tape to your videographer and he can dub them together
for you.
4. Do you retain the master copy and copyright release? You want to make sure that, just
as you received the negatives from your photographer, you want to receive the master
copy of your video from your videographer. You want to retain this copy even if it's only
fifteen hours of monotonous moments from the day of your wedding.
5. What is the turn-around time for a video? If your wedding is in June, realistically
speaking, you should have your video in your hands by October. Make sure you find out
what the turn-around time is regarding your video, and have it written into your contract.
It should state the deadline date for you to receive this video. If they go over this
deadline - if the date is October 1st and you don't receive it until October 15th - make
sure that there is a stipulation in your contract regarding some sort of compensation for
you if this problem should occur. This will give the videographer more of an incentive to

make certain that they deliver the video to you on time.
6. How many DVDs will I receive? Now, just like with your photographer, occasionally
you'll get three albums - one for you and two smaller ones for both sets of parents. The
same thing should happen with your DVDs. You should have a copy and both sets of
parents should have a shorter version of your copy. This way they will have something
to show their friends and relatives, and you won't be receiving phone calls every five
minutes requesting your copy of the video so they can show Aunt Gladys or Uncle Moe.
7. How long does the final product run? Even though your day may be eight, nine, ten,
twelve, or fifteen hours long you don't want the final product to run fifteen hours.
Anywhere between 1 1/2 to 2 hours is a good time for your video to run. A run of sixty
minutes is even okay. You want to remain in that one to two hour range.
8. What do you charge for overtime? You really should not be going overtime in regard to
your videographer. You want to factor in the exact time he should arrive and what time
he should leave. Therefore, even if your party runs later then expected, all those special
moments will already have been included in your video - the cake cutting, the father-
daughter dance, the mother-son dance, etc.
9. In case of illness or emergency what is your contingency plan? If on the day of your
wedding your videographer comes down with a one hundred and three fever, you want
to be sure that someone will show up in his place. In addition to this you want to review
this person's work. So, if your videographer Joe can't show up, but his assistant Paul
can make it, you want to review Paul's work as well but beforehand. You want to be
certain that Paul's work is of the same caliber as Joe's.
You know what to ask and what to be looking for - so go out and interview and get ready to
smile.
CUT A RUG

The two choices you have for music are a band or a DJ.
When interviewing for a band you want to interview at
least nine to twelve months in advance. For a DJ you can
start interviewing five to seven months in advance. Make
an early decision as to whether you want to have live
music or a DJ, so you can determine when you should
actually start your interview process. As with other
vendors you want to interview at least three to five
different companies to get a range of prices and services
that are available.
Now that you know that there's a difference between a

band and a DJ, let's discuss those differences.
• A DJ is usually less expensive than a band.

Bands, however, are usually more traditional and a more formal way to go depending on
your wedding scheme.
• DJs tend to be more versatile, but nothing compares to the live music that a band
provides. DJs usually supply special lighting in their packages, so you will be getting two
items for the price of one.
• With a band you should always keep in mind that five to six members are acceptable.
You don't need a twelve-piece orchestra to make it a great band. A five to six member
band that has singers, percussion and string instruments, really is the best choice. You
can't get any better then that.
There are seven "must have" song moments when it comes to your musical entertainment.
1. The first one is the entrance of the bridal party and the newlyweds. This is the first time
you're being introduced as Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Therefore, you want to make sure that
when you come into the reception room together you really make it a memorable
entrance. The newlyweds enter the room immediately following the bridal party and

entrance of the parents. Your entrance can be to a different song or to the same song
as used by the others.
2. The newlywed's first dance. This is not the same song as your wedding song. This is
simply your first dance song. You'll enter the room, be introduced to the guests, a lot of
clapping, a lot of hoorays then "bam" you go into your first dance.
3. The mother and son dance. This is when the groom dances with his mom to a special
song chosen by either or both of them.
4. The father and daughter dance. Here the bride dances with her dad to a special song
chosen by either or both of them.
5. The anniversary dance. This is something very popular in the east, and becoming
increasingly popular throughout the rest of the country and world. An anniversary dance
is when the DJ requests that anyone who is married to come and dance on the dance
floor. Little by little the couples are weeded out. If you're married less then five years
please sit down. So, the newlyweds will actually have to sit down. If you're married less
then ten years please sit down. And so on and so forth until one couple remains on the
dance floor. This couple then finishes the dance and gets a nice round of applause. It
really is a way to celebrate the entire union of marriage, and also to celebrate people
who've been married for years and years.
6. The cutting of the cake. Usually a very fun energetic song is associated with this portion
of your reception.
7. Your last dance. Now, your last dance is exactly your last dance. It's usually a fun
dance that ends the evening on a good note.
Two optional song moments that you have are the garter and bouquet toss and the toast
introduction. The latter is a song that is going to be played prior to the first given speech.
Those are the typical key moments that are usually associated with a song. You can cut some
out, you can leave them all in, or you can add some. The best thing for you to do is to always

remember to gauge the time with your musicians, and check as to whether or not they can
perform certain songs.
In my opinion when it comes to price you can't go wrong with a DJ. If you're going for that grand
illusion or you have a certain vision then a band is usually the way to go. Definitely interview
several vendors, talk to them, and then you and your fiancé should sit down to discuss what you
want, what you can afford, and who can best supply you with the moments of your reception
that no one else can.
These are the top ten questions you want to ask your musical entertainment.
1. Do you offer hourly rates or is it a set fee? If it's an hourly rate you want to be sure that
you know exactly how much time you need your musical entertainment for. Now, if
you're having entertainment for your ceremony, cocktail hour, and/or reception, and if
one music company will be responsible for all three of these, you want to be sure that
they have a set time area as far as traveling, setting up of their equipment, etc.
You also want to make sure that they are not charging you for the set up of their
equipment. Their set up time should not run into the hours that you've hired them for.
Here’s an example. If your reception begins at 8:00 P.M. they need to arrive
approximately an hour before, which would be 7:00 P.M., to set up their equipment.
If you're going for separate entertainment for your ceremony, cocktail hour, and/or
reception, then you must also inquire as to the items of interest, which were just
discussed pertaining to equipment, set up time, etc. You'll have to ask these questions
three times over for the three separate musical vendors you will be hiring.
2. If you've decided to go with a band can you see a live performance of them not a demo
tape? You want to see them in action. You want to see when and how they take their
breaks, etc. If you go with a DJ you want to see a sample of their work. Usually DJs
have videos of themselves from previous parties or weddings they've entertained for.
You can also see the DJ's work live if they have a showcase coming up.

3. When can we submit a “must play list” and a “don't play list”? There are certain songs
that you, your husband, and your family might want played at your wedding. There also
may be certain songs that you don't want played such as songs from the 60’s, Reggae,
etc. Well, then you have to inform the band or DJ of this. Or visa versa - if you're really
into Rap and R & B and you don't want to hear country music, then you have to make
them aware of that as well.
4. How will guests' requests be handled? You can't stop a guest from requesting certain
music. They may want to hear a special song or have a song dedicated to someone.
Find out how this will be handled by the emcee, band, or DJ. Are they going to check
with you first, or is there a person that they can consult with in order to get a request
Okayed.
5. In case of an emergency or illness what is their procedure? You want to know if they
have someone who fills in for them if for some reason they can't perform. If so, you want
to see them and get to speak with them prior to the day of your wedding.
6. What attire is going to be worn? Will they be there in jeans and a t-shirt? Will they be
wearing a three-piece suit? Or will they be wearing a tuxedo? You want to get this
information in advance because their attire should coincide with your wedding scheme
decor.
7. How are breaks handled and what is played during these breaks? Everybody has to
take a break whether it be of a personal nature, to eat, etc. And they should be allotted
those breaks. How are these breaks handled? Does somebody else from the band take
over? If it's a DJ do they play recorded music and simply walk away. You should find
out how these breaks are handled in advance.
8. Is entertainment provided for the cocktail hour? If a package is offered it may

sometimes include cocktail hour entertainment. Usually it's a smaller version of what is
provided for during the reception. Find out in advance if any entertainment is provided.
If the answer is no, having background music for the cocktail hour can be as simple as
hooking up an iPod, playing the radio, playing a set of CDs, or playing a master tape. It
really is that simple. Consult with your music vendor before you make any

arrangements for providing your own music for the cocktail hour.
9. What other services do you provide? Do they provide giveaways such as light up
necklaces, air guitars (the blow up guitars), or special lighting effects? Do they offer you
a video montage? All these things should be checked into, because maybe they supply
something you want that you won't have to go to another vendor for.
10. Do you know our religious/cultural traditions? Everyone of us comes from a specific
heritage. When it comes to weddings, different heritages are usually on display whether
it be religious or cultural. Those traditions may include a special dance, a speech, or
something of that nature. Find out if your band or DJ is familiar with your heritage and
the traditions that go along with it.
For example, let's use Italian weddings. They usually do a dance known as the
Tarantella. Find out if your band or DJ is familiar with this dance. Can they play that
type of music? Even though it may be easier to scratch it because they may not be
familiar with it, I don't suggest that you omit it. You're going to have guests of all ages at
your wedding. The older and more traditional guests tend to look forward to these
dances. You totally don't want to disregard them, because the senior crowd at your
wedding might take this as an insult. Be sure to tread lightly and speak to your parents
about this matter. But whenever possible you should try to incorporate your heritage. If
you are of two different backgrounds try to incorporate both of them in some way.
Remember, at the end of the night the music can make or break your wedding. As much as the
food is a big thing, the music is one of the most important aspects of a wedding to your guests.
"LIMO LIGHTNING" - WEDDING TRANSPORTATION
If you remember one thing from this book, let it be this: Wedding items have a 50% to 500%
cost increase to their non-wedding counterparts. This is especially true when it comes to
transportation.

Here are my top three tips to saving money on your transportation.
1. Wedding vs. Non-Wedding Pricing. Call the limo company and ask for a price quote for
your wedding date. Don't mention it's for a wedding, however, keep all the details the
same - how many pick ups, how many drop offs, the location, and the time. In case they
inquire as to why you're going to a church or a
temple say it's for a baptism. Then have your
fiancé or a member of your bridal party call using
the same date, time, and details, but say it's for a
wedding. Finally compare the prices and inquire
as to the differences. If there is a difference the
transportation company may tell you that it's for
more insurance because it's a wedding and you
get extras. Find out what the extras are. Do you
really need them?
If any vendor tells you that they need to charge

more for a wedding than they do for a regular
event, they're not being truthful with you. There's
no nice way to say this. They're just out right
lying to you. There's no additional incurred fee
on their part because it's a wedding. They don't
have to pay more to obtain certain items, they don't have to pay more for gas, and they
don't have to pay more for their own liability insurance simply because it's a wedding. I
have looked into this and I've spoken to people - it's simply not true. If they tell you they
have these extra costs then ask for proof.
2. Another tip for you is that if your locations are far from one another such as your
ceremony and reception, inquire as to the pros and cons of hourly rates vs. package
deals. See if you can get a limousine with a package deal of six hours. If the two
locations are really far apart find out if they include their travel time in the cost. If not,
see how much the hourly rate is. It may be more cost effective to go with an hourly rate,
or it may be more cost effective to go with a package deal. It all depends on what your

wallet will allow.
3. My third tip is rent a limousine from the ceremony to the reception. Have a friend/family
member handle post-reception transportation and even pre-ceremony transportation.
What this means is that anybody can drive you to the ceremony. You really don't have
to show up in a limousine, because ultimately the limousine will be waiting anywhere
between one to two hours for you, depending on how long your ceremony runs, and you
will be paying for that stagnant time. Just have the limousine pick you up from the
ceremony and bring you to the reception. If any pictures are being done at that time
they can take you to the photo locations, and then they can leave you at your reception.
This way you're not paying for them to basically sit around and do nothing for long
periods of time. After your reception have a friend or family member bring you to your
destination whether you are going home, to a hotel, or to the airport.
There are certain questions you should ask your transportation vendor.
● How many weddings do you book per day? You want to be sure your vendor isn't over
booked, and that they haven't over stretched themselves already. If they have a fleet of
thirty cars, well, how many cars will actually be used the day of your wedding? You want
them to be prepared in case something unforeseen happens such as a car breaking
down. You want to be sure that they will have an extra car available for you, and get it
out to you as soon as possible. If all thirty cars in their lot are taken for that day, maybe
that's not the best vendor to choose.
● Will they charge extra for photos that are taken with their vehicles? A lot of brides love
to have pictures taken with their limousine, bus, or carriage. And many shady vendors
will tell you that you must pay an extra fee because you'll be using their car. If this is the
case then run the other way. Don't choose a vendor that's going to charge you for every
nook and cranny because it's not necessary.
● Do they offer an on time guarantee? If you need to be at your reception, photo shoot, or
any other place by a specific time, do they make sure that they'll get you there on time,
or do they cut some cost off the price if they're late at getting you to your destination.
Try to be sure they're going to offer you some type of an on time guarantee. And if they

don't maybe you can get reimbursed for late fees you may incur because they were
running late.
● What is included in each package? Have an itemized list of the included items written
into your contract. Let's say that they offer you the car for six hours. The driver is
appropriately groomed wearing a tuxedo or a suit. You'll also be getting a red carpet
from the church to the car. You'll be supplied with champagne and an aisle runner that
they'll set up for you. If this is what they offer in their package, you don't have to pay
extra for anything, and you love it, be sure that every single thing I just listed or anything
that they list is on your contract. Therefore, in case they don't give you the red carpet,
the champagne, an aisle runner, or worse, the driver shows up in jeans and a t-shirt, you
can say that they violated the terms of your contract.
● Are the drivers dressed appropriately? Again, you want to be sure that they're dressed
in some type of formal wear, whether it be a tuxedo or suit. Either one of these are
acceptable, but showing up dressed inappropriately is not acceptable.
● Can we see the vehicle's registration and registration number? Have these requests
placed on your contract. This is to avoid any type of misrepresentation. They may show
you a specific edition of a car. Let's say you want an antique Rolls Royce and they show
you a white 1937 Rolls Royce with a cream interior. This is your dream car. Be sure the
vehicle registration and registration's number of that specific car is on your contract. So,
when they show up the day of your wedding you can check your contract to see that
they have provided you with the exact same vehicle you saw. This is to avoid any
switches. Imagine if you were expecting the Rolls Royce and in its place they send you
a 2007 PT Cruiser in purple. This is just an example of what can happen. This little
addition into your contract will keep them from switching the car you were intended to
have.
● Who supplies directions to and from each location? Today, cars are being outfitted with
navigational systems. This is great. In case of an older model car see who supplies the
directions. Will they search for directions themselves or will you have to supply them?

● Do the drivers do a trial run to establish time? Do they actually try to go from the
ceremony location to the photo shoot, or from the ceremony to the reception? Do they
try to go from each stop to the next stop and time it as to how much time it will
approximately take on any given day? The reason for this is you want to be certain your
timing is correct on the day of your wedding. You don't want to show up late or super
early to anything. So, see if they do a trial run. If they don't I really suggest that you and
your fiancé do a trial run on the same day of the week that your wedding will fall on, and
at the exact time of your wedding. Let's say that your wedding is on Saturday at 3:00
PM. I suggest that you do the trial run then to gauge how long it does take. I suggest
you do this the week before your wedding. Maybe there's traffic or some sort of
construction going on. If these are your problems then you'll need to find an alternate
route and find it quickly. If you take the trial run too early you may not run into any snags
because they simply won't exist yet. So, stick to taking that trial run a week before your
wedding.
● What constitutes overtime? How much does overtime cost? If you get stuck in traffic
are they charging you for this? Are they charging you for getting some place late even
though it's not your fault or theirs, it's simply the fault of too much traffic congestion or
maybe an accident? They shouldn't be charging you, and if on the off chance they are,
it should be a very nominal fee - it should be nothing or close to it.


Chapter 6
BON VOYAGE
The first thing you're going to do with regards to your honeymoon is set a budget, and do
research from the onset of your engagement during your free time. It doesn't involve as much
heavy planning as does the rest of the wedding. You can honestly do it while you're sitting on
the couch watching television.
The next aspect of planning your honeymoon is to

have a discussion with your future spouse as to
what your ideal honeymoon setting will be. Be leery
if your future husband suggests a honeymoon at
some swank resort where their main attraction is a
huge golf course! Remember, this honeymoon is
for dual enjoyment. When you think about your
honeymoon do you imagine it being romantic, do
you simply see yourselves as doing the tourist thing,
or will you both be adventurous? The other things
you want to think about is will you stay local, will you
want to drive or take a train to your destination, only
fly within the United States, or do you want to travel
abroad? These are things you really want to sit
down and discuss, because they will have a great
impact as to the amount of money you'll be
spending.
Technically it's just a trip, but it's your first trip together as husband and wife. Try to incorporate
at least one romantic event per night for the entire duration of your honeymoon. You don't have
to spend every waking moment of your honeymoon embracing and looking into each other’s

eyes. But you do want to spend at least a couple of hours a day remembering that it is your
honeymoon. You want to share romantic moments and quality time with one another.
Let's discuss the seven tips for savings on your honeymoon.
• You definitely want to attend bridal expos because they're trying to get as many sales as
possible. You'll be getting even better deals because they're trying to get rid of these
trips. The honeymooners are the bridal expo's main consumers, and they'll offer sweet
deals in order to get these trips booked. So do take advantage!
• Utilize connections whenever possible. Your dad may have time-sharing or you may
have accumulated airline miles. You definitely want to use these. For example, time-
sharing can be used basically anywhere depending on the company they're affiliated
with. You could go off to Italy for one week for only the cost of the maintenance fee.
Even though you may not have an all-inclusive deal with a travel agent, in the long run
you'll still be saving money by using your connections.
• Next, consult with at least three travel agents. Just as with any other vendor during your
wedding planning process, you want to be sure you're getting the best price. In order to
accomplish this you have to shop around. You also want to find the travel agency that
you're most comfortable with. You're going to be discussing a lot of important details
with these people, and you want to be sure this information is safe. You don't want
someone using your social security number without your knowledge. Always check out
your travel agency with the Better Business Bureau in your area. The reason being is
that travel agencies come and go. They're very easy to start and just as easy to close
down. You want to be certain that you're dealing with a reputable agency.
• Always try to travel on off-peak days or off-peak times in order to save money. What this
means is that during the year, the week, or even each day, there are times that most
people do not like to travel. If you travel during these times you'll be saving money.
Good examples of this would be to travel either on a Tuesday or Wednesday, or in the
early afternoon or late evening. The other peak time during the year is around holidays.
You should travel the week before or the week after that holiday, and definitely not
during the summer. So, if you travel in October, as long as it's not going to be, for

instance, to or from a World Series city area, you'll be getting a pretty good rate.
• Always try to factor in the extra costs. Now what do I mean by extra? Well, here's what
I mean.
○ Transportation - how are you going to get around the city or anyplace else?
○ Tips - no matter where you go you're supposed to tip people. People who deal
with your luggage, waiters, drivers, etc.
○ The tax - you have to set aside for local taxes.
○ Your own spending money - you're going to spend money somehow.
○ Your meals - you're going to have to eat.
○ Travel transfers - how are you going to get from the airport, train station, or bus
terminal to your hotel?
○ Factor in the tariff - that's due when you enter or leave a country with items
you've purchased and wish to bring home with you.
○ Avoid renting equipment you already own - while on your honeymoon if you're
participating in some activity, like going golfing or even scuba diving, and these
are things that you do in your every day life, then bring your golf clubs or scuba
diving equipment along with you. Just because you want to carry a little less
won't help you to save money. You'll be saving a lot more money if you don't
have to rent equipment that you already own.
● Your honeymoon registry. This is a great way to save money. Today they actually have
registries for your honeymoon costs where guests can put money towards your
honeymoon. This is great especially for those of you who have been living together or
already own a house, and already have all the kitchen appliances you need.

● You can also do it as an additional registry. If you have a registry for all your kitchen
stuff and whatnot, you can have a second registry for just your honeymoon where your
guests will actually be paying for your honeymoon. Definitely look into this with your
travel agent, because depending on where you're going you may have to use a different
company. There are many of them out there for international, Disney, local, etc.
Let's talk about packing and planning.
● Always remember to purchase your ticket and make your reservations in your maiden
name. The reason for this is because if you get married on Saturday your name will not
be legally changed to your husband's by Sunday. You have to physically go through a
process of changing your name (which we will discuss). Traveling rules and regulations
are much more stricter these days, and you want to be sure that everything on your
ticket matches your identification.
● Always remember to give a complete copy of your itinerary to both sets of parents prior
to your trip. You want to make certain that somebody knows exactly where you are at all
times.
● Place a day-by-day itinerary in each piece of luggage in case it gets lost. If you're
planning a seven day cruise or a seven day excursion around Europe, or you're simply
going to stay at the same place for a certain amount of time - let’s say Aruba at a certain
hotel, then at least they'll be able to locate you. You want to make sure you can be
located at all times in case of a serious emergency. The itinerary should include the
name of hotels you'll be staying at along with their phone numbers, and contact people if
you've been speaking with specific people. The reason for this is in case your luggage
has been lost and they locate it on the first day, then there won't be a problem because
they can ship it right to your hotel since you've supplied them with that information. If it's
located on the seventh day, and because your information is already in there, they will
be able to ship your luggage directly to you. In addition to placing your itinerary in your
luggage, you also want to be sure your regular name and contact phone number are
included.

● Always obtain the latest copy of the FAA's rules and regulations. These rules and
regulations change on a monthly basis. You want to make sure you're packing what
you're allowed to pack, and in what your allowed to pack it in. You can obtain them on
the FAA website and make sure to go over them with a fine toothcomb. If you don't
understand any part of their rules and regulations simply give them a call and they'll
review them with you.
● Pack one full day’s outfit and all your necessary medications in your carry-on. On the off
chance that your luggage does get lost you want to be sure to have a full change of
clothes from undergarments on up. At least you'll have two outfits, that being the one
you're wearing and the one in your carry-on. You also want to make sure that all your
medications are in your carry-on. Therefore, once again, in case your luggage is lost
you'll have your blood pressure medication, asthma medication, etc., at your fingertips.
● Always remember not to carry large amounts of cash on you while traveling, especially
when you're traveling international. This is an important issue. Don't carry a lot of cash
whether it's U.S. or local currency. Remember, you're a tourist and we do tend to stick
out like a sore thumb. No matter now much you try to blend in you're still going to look
like a tourist. You don't want to be targeted.
● Keep a copy of your passport in a safe place. In some parts of the country you might be
required to keep your actual passport on your person. To keep it safe from theft you can
purchase these thin affordable wallets, which allow for your passport to hang around
your neck. This is definitely the way to go if you're traveling international. You can keep
all your important documents in that wallet making it difficult for them to be stolen. You
want to keep a copy of your passport in another safe place, whether it be in a hotel
safety deposit box, or something of that nature. It can be a photographic copy of your
passport. If your actual passport is stolen this copy will help to expedite your leaving the
country when necessary. It's not fool proof but it helps. You will still need to visit your
embassy and get paperwork from them, which would be an emergency passport, but
your photocopy will help to expedite this process.
● Always mail home breakable souvenirs via UPS or FedEx from your hotel. You're going
to purchase a lot of souvenirs. There are two reasons you're going to be sending them

home.
○ You're going to have to pay a tariff on each item that you buy overseas. So, isn't
it better for you to pay the tariff quickly and painlessly than having to do it while
your waiting on a long line at the airport.
○ If it's breakable you're insuring the possibility of breakage if you take it with you
on the airline. The airport workers do not treat luggage kindly. And labeling it
"fragile" makes no difference as to how it will be handled. To the workers at the
airport the words "fragile-handle with care" have a different meaning. I think they
interpret those words as meaning, "handle this package as roughly as you can".
TEN STEPS TO CHANGING YOUR NAME
1. Don't do anything until you return from your honeymoon. This is a long process and
occasionally takes a few weeks. You want to make sure you have the necessary time to
dedicate to the actual changing of your name. So, relax, have a few drinks, and go on
your honeymoon. Don't worry about anything until after you've returned.
2. Compile a list of companies and organizations that you will need to contact to inform
them of your name change.
○ Governmental agencies: DMV in regards to your license and registration, the

IRS, Passport Dept., Social Security Administration, and the Voter's Registration
Dept. for your area.
○ Companies - airlines and frequent flier miles companies, your banks and
investments for your 401ks, stocks, etc., and your credit card companies.
○ Your employer.
○ Your insurance companies - whether it be auto, home, or medical insurance.

○ Your utility companies - your phone, gas, and electric.
○ Your cell phone company, cable company, satellite company, etc.
○ Your accountant, your lawyer, medical personnel such as doctor or dentist,

memberships such as gyms or clubs, school and alumni organizations,
subscription lists for your magazines, newspapers, etc.
3. You will need to obtain at least five copies of your marriage certificate, which is not the
same thing as your marriage license. This
certificate is a legally binding document that
is proof of your marriage. It is either mailed
to you after your marriage or you can pick it
up at the appropriate governmental bureau.
Imagine one little piece of paper changing
your whole life. Public companies such as
telephone, gas, and electric only need to
see a copy of this certificate, but
governmental agencies such as social
security, DMV, etc. need to see an actual
copy of your marriage certificate, and may
also try to hold on to it for a couple of weeks.
Your extra copies will allow you to be able to
do other necessary things while waiting for
that particular agency to return your
marriage certificate.
4. Go to your social security office. For up-to-date information visit their website at
www.ssa.gov. You must visit your social security office first in order to get your social
security card, which is your basic source of identification in the U.S. This updated social
security card will allow you to be able to do everything else that is government related.

5. When you receive your new card you can then visit your local DMV to change your
license, vehicle and voter registration all at the same time. Each state DMV will have
different requirements. Google your local state DMV office and they'll give you a list of
requirements. Those requirements usually include your marriage certificate, your
previous I.D., your new social security card, and their form. The last time I checked
there was no cost, but again it depends on state requirements. When you change your
name you will also be required to take a new photograph. Definitely have your hair and
makeup done that day. You're going to have to show that photo pretty often so let's
make it a good one.
6. Once you have a new social security card and driver's license, you can change your
passport at your local post office. Again, you're going to have to check with the new
rules regarding the changing of your passport. Usually it involves a new driver's license
with a photo I.D., your new social security card, and a new form. There is a fee
associated with this and it does change from time to time.
7. You can now change your name for credit cards, banks, investments, and employers.
Again, you are going to need a copy of your marriage certificate. You can then phone or
go to your local bank, and if your investments are local you can visit them as well. Most
of the time you're going to phone them, and inform that that you’ve just gotten married
and request a change of name form sent to you. They might simply be able to assist
you over the phone. Then you'll probably just have to fax or email a copy of your
marriage certificate. When it comes to your employer you only have to inform the
Human Resources Department of this change.
8. Always remember to carry a copy of your marriage certificate with you at all times, since
for a short period of time your credit cards and I.D. won't match. It doesn't have to be a
notarized copy but a Xeroxed is sufficient. Simply fold it up and slip it into your purse. If
any problems arise such as being pulled over while driving, you'll have to show the
officer your marriage certificate. This is because your I.D. won't match yet, and you
don't want him to confiscate your driver's license because of the name difference.
9. Contact your medical and legal personnel, utilities and insurance companies. You will
most likely need to fill out a simple "Change of Name" form and produce a copy of your

marriage certificate.
10. To change the name on your frequent flier miles you will need to show a copy of your
marriage certificate and need to file a notarized letter. In addition you probably will have
to show them a new copy of your driver's license. You will probably have to wait until you
get that new license in the mail.
When it comes to changing your name on subscriptions, simply change it when the renewal
form comes. You don't immediately have to inform them of your name change. They will
send you a form in the mail if you request one. And at the end of step ten every aspect of
your life will recognize your new married name.
THANK YOU NOTES
A very important rule of etiquette is to always send a thank you note within six weeks of
receiving a gift. Guests have up to a year from your wedding date to send you a gift. Even if
they don't bring one to your wedding, which in itself
constitutes poor etiquette, they do have a year’s
grace to send you that gift. When you receive the
gift, no matter if it's the day of your wedding or
eleven months and twenty-nine days later, within six
weeks you need to send out a thank you note.
The thank you note should always be personalized.

It should be handwritten and not preprinted
messages. I know the big thing now is to send a
picture with a preprinted message at the bottom of
the picture, then simply placing it in a stamped
envelope and sending it on it's merry way. Sorry,
that's not proper etiquette and it's also not
appreciative. It doesn't show your appreciation for
the gift or the person's presence at your wedding. Always remember to include a handwritten

personalized message. The ideal thank you message should include the following:
● There should be a greeting with a personal message maybe including a inside joke
pertaining to your wedding day. If they didn't attend your wedding but sent you a gift
anyway, note why they weren't at your wedding. Usually they'll tell you that something
unexpected came up.
● When thanking them inject the actual name of the gift into your thank you note, whether
it be a blender or a monetary gift. If it is a monetary gift let them know what your using
their money for. It makes the gift giver feel better to know that their monetary gift is
going towards some kind of necessity. Even if you're not planning to use the money
towards anything in particular, pick out something that you might one day use it for, and
relay that to them in the thank you message.
● Finally you have the closing.
Let me now give you an example of a thank you note:
Dear Aunt Susan & Uncle Thomas,

It was such a pleasure having you attend our wedding, and we hope you had a
great time. (Right there is your greeting and your personalized message. Next
will come your inside joke or message.) We are still laughing over Uncle
Thomas' joke. (There, that was clear and to the point. You could also have
mentioned about how beautiful Aunt Susan's dress was or how great it was to
see them, etc. Then thank them for their specific gift.) We sincerely want to
thank you for your very generous gift. (Never mention if it was a check or cash
with reference to a monetary gift.) We will be using it towards the down payment
on our new home, which we hope you'll visit often. (Make sure to mention what
you’re using the money towards. You could even say you used it towards your
honeymoon and had a great time. And then the closing.)
With love,
Cathy and your new nephew-in-law David

The thank you note was personalized and to the point. It made them feel special since
you took the time to write specifically to them. This personalization should be carried
through with all your thank you notes.
You're going to have many thank you notes to write, so space them out and maybe do a
few a night. Have your fiancé help you even if it's simply with addressing the envelopes.
You should hold on to them until all the thank you notes are finished, therefore, they can
all be mailed together.


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Bride Step

Plan Your Perfect Wedding

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ANNOUNCING THE ENGAGEMENT

● First, you should tell your parents if they don’t already

● If this isn't the way it happened -- maybe it was just a

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In this section we are going to discuss your engagement pictures.

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● Think two accessories as tops!

Just remember to have fun with the entire experience.

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● Who do you invite? This is a simple one. Actually, it is

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PLANNING MADE EASY

Your entire planning process can be a breeze. The one

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● Bride Step Printable Workbook. This workbook can be found on BrideStep.com. It

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● Stationery. This encompasses your invitations, matchbooks, programs, napkins,

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Networking is very important.

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● Second is weddingchannel.com. The best aspect of this site, in my opinion, is their

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● Second, you're going to trade them. That's right, you're

How are you going to make your cards?

● All you need is a word processing program and to make a

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PICK THE DATE

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● Let's start with the most expensive. It's going to

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THEME & COLOR SCHEME

My number one tip when it comes to wedding themes

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2. Decision-making is made a lot easier. It minimizes your choices immensely instead of

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BUDGET CALCULATOR & BREAKDOWN

This is one of the most important topics of the entire

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● Next, we're going to find your Subtotal.

● And finally we're going to get your Budget Total.

Let's first find your CMI.

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● Add your Combined Monthly Expenses + Combined Quarterly Expenses + Combined

We're going to find your Total Funds Available.

Now we will find your Usable Funds.

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● The Usable Funds equal $48,700.00.

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Now that you have a set budget amount of how much

● 50% - reception, food, and any type of beverages

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Click Here or go to BrideStep.com to sign up for our newsletter.

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