Friends to the End Reflections on the End of 20 Years with a Running Partner © By Malcolm D. Gibson friend of mine died today. He was my running part for 20 years. I ‘watched him po through a long divorce and fight a bout with cancer. He was a trooper. We were exactly the same height and weight so our bodies reacted the same on long training, runs. We ran every race ‘As younger men we were of one mind as competitive run- ners, always scheming to better ‘our race times by trying the lat est shoes, clothing and training techniques. But over the years, our ideas about running began to diverge. ‘While he continued to be absorbed with his quest for faster times, I discovered that running let me stop being a slave to thinking at all. We remained virtual alter egos, but cach with different reasons for running. His was to achieve PRs, mine to unlock my inner self. Tknew his wife well. She was not an athlete and strug- gled to accommodate the changes we adopted in our lifestyles as we pursued our running. Their relationship was like many others between run- ners and non-runners. There was conflict over diets and naps after long runs. ‘As their marital problems mounted his runs changed from a joy to an escape. When the marriage ended it was not because of running, but running was all he had left. (Over the years we struggled to find common ground in our philosophies of running and, eventually, life itself. We azo- nized and argued over which approach was best. ‘Always the disciplined sol- dier, he believed that the pur- pose of life's journey, like a long run, was to arrive at one's destination ... to rate one's accomplishments against past measured by time and space. Targued that there was an alternative ... that the importance of the journey was not how it to the past or the future, but rather the quality of each step along the way. My friend devoted much of his life to avoiding adversity, secking always to find an “ideal” formula for personal fulfillment and success. In his running, fatigue and pain were enemies to be outsmarted in order to accomplish his goals. Rather than avoiding adversity, distance running taught me how to accept it as part of a larger positive experi- ence. This approach helped me to achieve a better sense of per- spective and balance, not only in running but in life. In his heart, he knew I was right, but he was afraid to admit it ... afraid to leave behind his competitive philoso- phy even though it took an ever-increasing toll on his phys- ical and mental health. I wor- ried about him, about us. But I loved him and hoped for the best. The end came quietly today after we shared a grueling 15- miler. I felt tired but renewed at the end of the run. He had been unusually quiet and I was encouraged because he seemed more at peace than before. It happened as we rested together on a bench in the park, dripping with perspira— tion. No one called an ambu- lance. He just smiled and slipped away, leaving me alone in the twilight. As Twalked to my car I knew we were both better for it because, you see, he was also Malcom “Mack” Gibson is a lawyer who lives, runs and writes in Houston. Barring injury, and with favorable weather conditions, the 59- year-old figures to qualify for Boston in 2018. MR