Positive Poisoning - The Closure though Troubled Times
When people's relationships break off whether its in business, a fling, committedrelationship or simply a friendship, the sentence I hear the most is "I need closure". I'vehad 2 different people from opposite sides of the world tell me about this burning desirethis week...........closure. I had to really think about what this word is supposed to reallymean...how this word is supposed to manifest.In order to tackle the abstraction of this word, I first had to analyze my own pastexperiences. My recent relationship's breakup, as people have told me, should have takenat least a year to get over. Three years, I "gave" myself to someone whom I ended upnursing until I ran dry. I didn't want to fail so I kept on but in the end the person I thought Iloved was no longer. SPLIT! Right before the holidays in 2010. As anyone would be in amajor life adjustment, I was destroyed...couldn't sleep, cried for a week, started smokingagain, and had enough anger in me to set everything around me on fire just by looking atit. It took me a month and a half to get over it. Why was it so fast? I'm assumingbecause :A) this wasn't my heart's first disappointment. As I'm no "spring chicken", thesethings get easier (or at least they should) . B) My ex made it easy. How so? I'll give ananalogy just so I don't completely expose the exact issues. Imagine trying out a newseafood restaurant and getting food poisoning the next day. Fever, hot flashes, andnausea lead you to see a doctor. Imagine the doctor telling you that everyone that hasbeen to that restaurant has gotten the same illness. So? Do you miss the meal you had?Or accept that the consequences suck, and get better. THAT was my closure - I got sickand didn't want to go back to expose myself to that again. PERIOD. Don't get me wrong, Ienjoyed the meal and had high hopes of making that MY seafood joint but it didn't work outas planned. That type of rationalization is something that comes with time and experience.I'm not that old, or wise, but the ex before the last probably help take the edge off of anyother future break ups whether in love or friendship. I was younger, a hopeless romantic,and un-jaded. I learned...the hard way. Most importantly, I learned to love myself over anything else. Sure, I miss the "innocence" of my idealistic desires but I learned jumpinginto relationships both feet forward and blind may lead to injury so I keep an open eye anddeep down I meditate. Ommmmm. Repeat. "I got over the last one and always didbetter...I WILL do it again". Ommmmm. "Why be miserable when someone else sleepspeacefully in their ignorant bliss?". Ommmmm. "I love myself, what I stand for, and theintrinsic value I offer to another enough to give someone else the time and opportunity todiscover it". English Writer, John Heyward said "If you will call your troubles experiences,and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will growvigorous and happy however adverse your circumstances seem to be". Summary? Your strength and inner power gets stronger as time passes and you go through life's crappymoments... BECAUSE YOUR
ABILITY TO RECOVER
BETTER IS DUE TO AN
ACCUMULATION OF WHAT IS LEARNED IN RETROSPECT
FROM THE CRAP.Let's test this out. Clear your mind. Think of the last time, someone you trusteddisappointed you. It can be a best friend, a family member, a lover, a spouse, a pet, aemploer...whatever. This about how low that person made you feel. Think about the anger,rage, need for revenge, need to discuss, the tears, the bad words exchanged...whatever you were feeling at the time. Thinking about it?