Jenny Gonzalez

Thoughts ofa Teenager

a waterways project publication Barbara Fisher & Richard Spiegel co-directors Thomas Perry assistant

Phyllis Brusca

Site Teacher

Lutheran Medical Center, NYC VTC Loretta White

Assistant Principal, NYC VTC Alan Werner

Principal, NYC VTC

Jenny Gonzalez

StephenE. Phillips Superintendent Alternative HS & Programs

with funding support from Learn and Serve America

& the N ew York State Council on the Arts

©1996 Ten Penny Players Inc.

contents

Sweet Mother Pretty Brown Eyes Another Woman's Man Broken Wings Father

Little Girl

The Tnrth Inside Reflection

Baby Valentine's Day Trying Times Lasting Love

What PeopleJ ust Don't See W'hen They Look AtMe

When Love Don't Love You

Foolish Heart

Svveet 1\'I:other

Sweet mother of mine with a voice as gentle as wind chimes I think it is definitely time ...

Old sweet mother of mine I'd like to let you know how I feel, that my love and my trust is for real

Oh sweet mother we have definitely been through some rough times. But yet here we still are. We have survived the everlasting test of time.

Oh sweet mother of mine I vow to be there for ever more, always if you need me, I will be standing right outside your door.

3

Oh sweet mother of mine I wish I could turn back the precious hands of time, to when

I was young and we both had so much fun

Sweet mother I am almost grown and I turned out well, with

your love and nurturing that

was the magic spell, and forever more this I must tell.

Mother you are truly the

meaning of beauty and salvation.

As a mother you do it with total dedication. These are my feelings they are ever so true and these words are how I feel for you, my mommy.

4

Pretty Bro-vvn. Eyes

These eyes show more than

her radiant beauty. They tell a story of great agony, and sorrow, with hope for tomorrow.

Can you see what runs through her mind when she closes those sore and tired eyes?

Treachery and lies, relationships with broken ties, and a bedroom filled with silent cries.

Beatings and harsh words are the only affection she knew

Her reason for not leaving ... love.

These memories are alive like the beating of her heart. Now she and her confidence have grown completely apart.

So now she is on a quest, a quest to find her inner strength, her tranquility, her peace of mind, but do not worry this

will not be hard to find, for

it's just a matter of time.

So rejoice beautiful one, your time has come to be

truly happy. The world is at your feet, and with you no one can compete, so rest easier my precious one,

my sweet!

6

An..o-.:her -wr orn.a..n.' s l\tI:an.

Cold and lustful, that is how I'm feeling, Because I know when I think of you

I am only dreaming

Knowing I'll never be able to feel your body above mine ~

Or the taste of your love

So sweet and divine

If I had one chance to love you

the way I'd like

I'd push you down on the bed And kiss you down

Starting with the top of your head

I'd run my fingers down to the point of no return

7

1'11 make your body feel fire My desire will make you burn And after I'm done

It will be your turn

To show me what you've learned.

But from a distance I can only admire you Tall and sleek with a hidden treasure in between

That I'm so desperate to seek

Eyes the color of piercing green A color which I've never seen

Lips so juicy and sweet

The kind I'd like my own to meet

But I know when I must admit defeat

F or you are someone else's special treat!

8

Broken. '"W7ings

As I look up at the sky.

My heart yearns to soar, to be free, to fly.

I close my eyes and picture you and I, Locked in a deep embrace,

I then fall, fall hard on my face, Against the pavement I land, The pavement of reality,

That no longer consists of you and me.

Now I lay face down on the floor,

Knowing that you'll never walk through that door'

In the distance I hear a tune, The words are faint, but I know I'll understand better soon.

These words strike up a memory,

A memory about rwo people strolling by a sea, Then I remember that it's you and me.

You whispered something to me that night, and it was ...

9

Hold me baby,

Hold me right,

You are my angel, My guiding light, You are the one who Makes it rightt

I wonder what ever happened to that love of ours? I guess it was good, but now it turned sour

I know that you want me back,

Because it's that special feeling that you lack.

But my wings are broken, And my heart is torn in two, I will never return to you.

10

Father

Loving care was taken when God made you

He sat in his mighty throne, And thought, then he knew.

He said, "This man will be quite like no other, He will be friend to many,

And people will look upon rum as brother!"

God called to his angels one by one And gave his commands

His heart will be pure as gold, And his arms strong and powerful So that his daughters he may hold

His hair will be strands Taken from mother night,

And his eyes will be golden brown, So they may always shine bright.

II

His legs will be a powerful foundation To steer him away from temptation.

\X'hen the angels were done

God stood before him and with a simple breath

He breathed life into you, my father, a man so loving and true.

1

12

Little Girl

Little girl don't you grow up

So fast because soon the present has become the past

Your dolls will turn into make-up And your pigtails in pretty curls And your glass beads into fine pearls

Don't be so eager to learn to fly So many dangers come with it, Even when you're [ust passing by

Soon boys will call,

They'll notice you as you walk down the hall

Now you will be considered a big girl, no longer small.

So, now you have become a woman

\1{lith so many responsibilities on your hands And when a husband and children are involved There's something always in demand

During your life time you're going to know How a heart breaks,

Your body will ache,

And you will make many mistakes, But remember, I'll be here to help, I'll do whatever it takes

So res t easy my precious one, And don't grow up too fast,

Because soon the present has become the past.

The Truth Inside

Bottled up with no way of escaping, Like a soul traveling through a heaven,

Only in true insanity would you find meaning Thoughts lost in bliss

Finding their way throughout the heavy mist Seeking peace just to exist.

\X/hat does it mean'

The truth inside trying so desperately to hide, In the corner sits a man

Confined to himself with his sighs Listening to the wind carry silent cries

of another place and time.

1)

Reflection

I once knew a girl So caring and true, But now her soul

Has turned to ice blue

Because of a boy Tha t took her love Away and he's what She thinks of every Single day

She gave him all

That she can and asked in return if He'd be her man

So he said 'yes' Then played her Like a game From that day on

16

She was never the same

To his ex-girl he went back Because her love is what he lacked

The girl remembers how it used to be, Then she realized 'he never loved me. I was just an aspirin to take away the pain.' Now she figures without his love

She'd go insane.

So the girl looks deep into a mirror And stares at her reflection

Now realizing she lost her protection.

17

Baby

A baby is a small angel that is sent to you from love On ly something so precious

can be sen t from up above To care for a baby there must

be patience, love and understanding.

W'hen loving a baby

you must never be demanding A baby is so gentle and brand new

Your love for your child must always be true \'('hen. a baby arrives a new hope

For the world is born

A love for a child can never be torn So take care and love your child

to the fullest extent:

\'(!hen I look deep into my baby's precious eyes I always seem to be content

[8

Valentine's Day

Valentine's day comes and goes once a year But the love I feel for you is always near

Cupid's arrow has already struck me not once but twice,

So it makes two loves [hat I've had in my life

Even though you are my second In my heart you'll always be first

And your body to mine is what I thirst

On this precious day of love and lust, My heart with in you I trust

Slow music and candlelight

I'm gonna make this an unforgettable night Everything I promise to make right

1 promise tender kisses from your head to your feet And little surprises in between that are so sweet

I'll rub your body down with the gentlest of ease I promise tonight you'll definitely get pleased

19

Tonight you will be my king, and I shall be your queen

Keep in mind that nothing is ever as it seems

And before the night is over

I'll kiss you once, then twice ... And I'll leave you feeling real nice

Happy Valentine's Day.

20

Tryi:ng TiIn.es

There's no one left. And I'm all alone

I'm left without a Person to call my 0"''11

Life is so confusing When there's no one To help you interpret

I ts meaning. So I'm left Not knowing what I'm Feeling. I t all starts

Out as fun and games And when it's all over There's no one to blame

\XTho knew it would be like this? That I'd always stay alone

And live in the silent bliss.

21

Lasting Love

Our love is going to last till All of eternity.

Wle survived maturity Together forever, That's how it will be

I will love you and you will love me

People say we won't last, Bur what do they know

These feelings I have are too real to let go Growing together always and forever,

Our love is called never ending

I hope you feel the strong love I'm sending For you I will do anyrhing in my castle of love You will always be king

At night I'm protected by your soft kisses And warm embrace

I n the game of love there is no such thing as race There is always a place for you in my heart

1\1)' love we are ever lasting and shall never part.

"W'"ha:t: PeopleJus"t:

Do:n..'t:: See "W'"hen. They Look At l\-Ie

\Vhen people stop to look at me

There's so much that they just don't see

All they tend to do is look right through me

There so much more to me than just poetry I'm a dreamer with hopes and wishes Someone that misses her grandma's soft kisses

I'm someone who tries to think of everybody, I'm kind and good hearted,

That they refuse to see

And half of my family stopped Believing in me

I tried to prove them wrong,

But this is something I have to let be

They don't see I'm gonna be someone Some one with a good job

Never ro forget my loved ones

Because I'm no snob

I'm gonna have loving children to reflect upon me.

I'll make sure our bond is like the roots of a redwood tree

A person who's gonna make it in life I'm not gonna struggle or fight

For what I want I'm gonna be the best I can possibly be

And there's no other who's quite like me

-wrh.en. Love Don't LoveYo-u

\'Vhen love don't love you it's a crying shame, And there's no body bur you to blame,

And the reasons are all the same

Cheating and lying are part of the game

And this monster is hard to tam

Do you realize the hurt you put on her? No you 'don't

To you it's just a big blur, And when she confronted you Your words you'd slur

Don't. you understand it can't go on this way You're losing something precious day by day

Her trust is slowly going and soon it will be gone Once that is gone there will be nothing left

So baby doll please don't fret

I've tried to warn you,

But you wouldn't listen

\'{'ho's laughing now;

And you ask yourself how!

J t's a sad, sad thing when love don't love you Now your skies will never again be blue

Something has got to change

And it's all up to you

So what are you gonna do?

Sorry but flowers won't do the trick

Boy you're pathetic and you're making me sick Don't you know what you need to fix?

You need to mend her broken heart

And promise to never drift apart

It will be a new start

But it will be hard because You have co regain her trust

For this is something that you must do But it will be worth it in the end

Because you'll not only have a lover, but a friend

So now everything is okay

But to keep her you're gonna

Have to know the right things to say And show her love day by day

But don't ever forget what it feels like \\.'hen love don't love you,

So don't p!ay the fool.

Foolish Heart::

My foolish heart will not let my mind rest Thoughts of you just flood my head .

So many precious feelings that were just left unsaid With every heart beat

I picture our first kiss

The feelings of contentment and pleasure I will definitely miss

Flash backs and memories Are all I have left of you

Talks followed by sweet love making That was pure and true

A tragedy it was for me to see our love end Everything is gone and we're not even friends

I want you back in my life so desperately

This is something I wish both your eyes and heart would see

But they don't

Sooner or later my foolish heart Will just have to face reality

J\ relationship that was so perfect Is what I see

But something appears to be wrong and that something was me

The demon that had a hold on me \X'as called insecurity and jealousy

It just sneaks up on you and it's coming You will never see

I should have listened to my mind And not my foolish heart

For if I had, we would never have drifted apart Feeling as if every moment we were together

was an eternity

\X/hen I was with you r felt r could do anything And baby you were my energy

You were wonderful and never rushed me JUSt let nature take its course

And Jet things be

l\' ever made love as if it was a race

You took your time and loved me at the right pace

Foolish heart please don't let me remember any more For I k now my true love will never again walk through rnv heart's door!

~ ----------~--------------------~----------~

In Search of a Song Volume 204

r

~ ~.,:t~:" •• _ I u'_ .

:. -'. - __ ._ - .. - -

. ': -- ~ - __ -._ ...

• ••• • ' ., ' ~I. f":~"

J...L::r~~~ a waterways project publication