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Raising Children

Raising Children

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Published by Cairoden Dimasangca

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Published by: Cairoden Dimasangca on Mar 03, 2011
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05/14/2011

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Raising Children
  
Ten lessons on the Islamic way of raising children
 
 
by
 
Tahera Kassamali
 
Raising Children
  
Title
 
Chapter 1
 
Training of children
 
Various definitions of training
 
Conclusions from theabove definitions
 
Parents as Trainers
 
Aspects of Training
 
.Guidance
 
. Self-Control
 
. Change
 
. Exploiting Potential
 
Lack of Training
 
Wise Words
  
Chapter 2
 
The Role of the Mother 
 
Islam¶s respect for theMother 
 
Emphasis on choosing agood wife
 
Respect in this world
 
Respect in the Hereafter 
 
Holy Qur¶an on the Mother 
 
Qualities of a Mother 
 
The role of the Mother 
 
Strengths of a Mother 
 
Wise Words
  
Chapter 3
 
Religious Training of children
 
Beliefs
 
Rituals
 
Morals
 
Methods of ReligiousTraining
 
Some Don¶ts in ReligiousTraining
 
Wise Words
  
Chapter 4
 
 
A Child¶s need for Love
 
Effects of Love
 
Letting the child know he isloved
 
The love of a mother 
 
Unconditional Love
 
Excessive Love
 
Wise Words
  
Chapter 5
 
Self-esteem andChildren
 
Advantages of a healthyself-esteem
 
When self-esteem islacking
 
How to foster self-esteemin a child
 
Practical Do¶s & Don¶ts for fostering self-esteem
 
Wise Words
 
A lesson from the Life of the Prophet
  
Chapter 6 
 
Discipline and Control
 
Advantages of Discipline
 
What to control?
 
Some important points
 
Wise Words
  
Chapter 7 
 
Children and Play
 
Benefits of Play
 
Types of play
 
Parents and Play
 
Companions in play
 
Some important points
 
Words of Wisdom
  
Chapter 8
 
O
utside Influences
 
Television
 
Books
 
Friends
 
Wise Words
  
Chapter 9
 
Sibling Rivalry
 
Causes of Jealousy
 
Hints for reducing SiblingRivalry
 
Wise Words
  
Chapter 10
 
Mistakes Parents oftenmake
 
 
. Making childrendependent
 
. Quarreling in front of thechildren
 
. Expecting too much of children
 
. Negativity
 
. Being two-faced
 
. Humiliating a child in frontof others
  
Chapter 11
 
Du`a for VirtuousChildren
 
Training of children
 
  
 
The duty of every parent is to train the child in the right way. Training means teaching and guiding. Trainingalso means producing required changes in a person. It is not enough for parents to cater for the physical needsof the child. They need to give the child an awareness and knowledge, help him gain good characteristics, anddevelop a virtuous personality. Such training of children has great benefits for the child as well as for thesociety in which he lives. Although many people have an influence on the training of a child, the first and mostimportant trainers are the parents.
 
 
 
The guidance that a parent gives his child is vital for the progress of the child. Although the child may notappreciate it at the time, a loving parent knows that it is incumbent upon him to make his child learn from hisown knowledge and experience. This enables the child to avoid the mistakes the parent may have made, andbenefit from his wisdom. Imam `Ali (a) wrote a will to his son Imam Hasan (a), advising him on how to live inthis world. In the will he explains why he felt it necessary to advise his son: 
 
found you a part of myself, rather 
found you my whole, so much that if anything befell you, it was asthough it befell me, and if death came to you, it was as though it came to me. Consequently your affairsmeant to me as my own matters would mean to me. So
have written this piece of advice as aninstrument of help . . .
 
 
 
Certainly, the heart of a young man is like uncultivated land.
t accepts whatever is strewn on it. So
 hastened to mould you properly before your heart hardens up and your mind gets occupied. So that youmay be ready to accept through your intelligence, the results of experiences of others and be saved fromgoing through these experiences yourself.
 
Nahjul Balagha
, Letter 31
 
 
  
Various definitions of training
 
  
1.
 
An action or a series of actions carried out on those who have not yet achieved full (physical and emotional)growth, to guide them in their thoughts and manners in order to create a strong and balanced human being.
 
 
 
2.
 
A process to help the growth of mental and spiritual powers of the human being to go towards perfection.
 
 
 
3.
 
An informed and thoughtful process which has the aim of guiding, changing, and achieving the fullpotential of, another.
 
 
 

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