3miracles do happen. Reading this book may give you some motivation to change, I hope.
I guess that I didn’t answer the question
of how to accept advice gracefully.
s the answer: Keep an open mind. The other person may have a point (even if theirlife is screwed up), so be polite about it. The person giving the advice probably cares about
you and doesn’t want you to screw
up. Either that
or they’re insanely jealous of you,
mean-spirited, and want you to fail.
If that’s the case, w
hy are you hanging around them?
Accentuate the Positive
When I was complaining to my father about my husband, my father said, “
Roll withthe punches,
”(I’m talking about figurative “punches” here, not the fist to face kind).
Myfather then went on to list all th
e negative things my husband wasn’t doing, like: gambling,
going out drinking with the boys; having an affair. Can you do that for the people/personin your life? Can you do that for yourself? Is there something positive that you like inanother person, or in yourself? Can you put your focus on that rather than on what you
don’t like? You know, count your blessings?
Is the glass half empty or is it half full? Both answers are correct but one answerviews it negatively and the other positively. The great thing is that you get to choose howyou view it. My mother is seventy-four
years old and she won’t wear shirts that leave her
neck exposed, because her neck is
So if you were under the illusion that passingtime would ease your mind, wake up. What needs to change is the way you think aboutthings.
How do you go about that? Stop playing the tape recorder in your mind that’s
repeating the mantra of everything
wrong with your life (or another’s). Replace
said mantrawith something in your life that is positive (there has to be something redeemable aboutyou). It may be something microscopic, but you have to start somewhere. For an example
of how to do this let’s use my mother and her “ugly” neck. When my mother looks in the
mirror she sees a neck with a hideous, gargantuan birthmark on the bottom half. What the
outside observer sees is a neck that is somewhat red on the bottom half. It’s not even a
dark, port-wine-colored birthmark, just
slightly red, like a rug rash. It’s certainly notgargantuan, so why does she focus on it and feel that she has to hide it? I don’t know whatthe root cause is, but one way to change her feelings about it is to “accentuate the positive
”She needs to start seeing the things that aren’t wrong with her neck’s appearance. It’sslender, it’s there in the first place (she doesn’t have the “no
neck” look), it doesn’t haveany unsightly goiters or moles growing out of it, and she doesn’t have any “turkey wattles
So the question is: do you want a more contented life? Or do you want to end up seventy-four years old and still caring that your neck is ugly?
Anger in itself, is not a bad thing. It’s what you do
while under its influencethat can be a bad thing. Words spoken in anger can never be retracted (let alone punches
and slaps). Are you sure you want to go down that road? You may feel better by “letting