create positive changes, and to f
a new plan, comes the realization that I amfinally a grown-up. Now what do I do? How will I repair the damage seen in the first half and revitalize our family for the second half?? Substitution please!It is the spring of 2004 when I make my first visible grown-up moves. Fearingwhat the future holds and dreading life without my beloved colleagues, I force myself tomeet with our rehab facility’s new manager to explain my new game plan. Choking back tears I express, “My family’s needs are changing and in order to focus on my family, Ineed more time and energy to spend with them. Please accept my resignation as Director of Rehab and my request to work part time as a staff occupational therapist.”Instead of feeling joy and pride with my new grown-up behavior, I experience anoverwhelming sensation of loss. Grieving, I stagger out of the meeting room, stumbledown the hall, and fumble for the door’s “push to open” button. Once in the parking lot,uncontrollable dry heaving and sobbing stops me in my tracks. Then comes the secondguessing. Will committing to this new game plan really help restore my family’semotional health? Will discarding my professional dreams and identity really help mychildren become grown-ups who work to serve others? Will my husband be contributingto this recovery process? Or will he be pursuing his career goals and enjoyingpromotions, awards and business travels? I am planning to soul search, research, journal,and work with counselors.
I am also planning to deal with a potential backlash frommy family. What I am not anticipating is the magnitude of the upcoming stressors.Once the dry heaving and sobbing subsides, I spend the evening re-hydrating andre-fueling. These next few months will be challenging because I must maintain mycommitment to the new plan and regimen while dealing with four stressors that can easily