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Hogs

Hogs

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Published by David Polk
A slacker at a commodities firm pretends to be an eccentric pork futures guru to battle the firm’s best trader and win the affection of the secretary who got him fired from the mailroom.
A slacker at a commodities firm pretends to be an eccentric pork futures guru to battle the firm’s best trader and win the affection of the secretary who got him fired from the mailroom.

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Published by: David Polk on Mar 18, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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02/05/2013

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HOGSByDavid PolkAn Original Screenplay176 Dusty Rose CourtSimi Valley, CA 93065805.428.5775dpolk@mac.com
 
ONSCREEN TEXT:
"Pigs get fed. Hogs get slaughtered."-- Business Lesson #1.
INT. BEDROOM - DAWN
DIGITAL CLOCK - 6:55 a.m.A Bose Wave radio booms to life with Rod Stewart’s"Infatuation". Curtains automatically part, revealing ahigh-rise view of the sun rising over downtown Chicago.A naked man - for now well call him OUR GUY - rolls out ofbed. ANGLE on his toned, sun-tanned buttocks as he strutsacross the spacious room to Rod’s musical stylings.Our Guy’s got the moves.
INT. BATHROOM/BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
QUICK CUTS of Our Guy (but not his face yet) showering,shaving, blow drying, dressing in Armani. We finally see hisface when he straightens his tie in the mirror:Early twenties. Handsome. A smooth operator. Our Guy smilesand winks at himself. "Cha-ching".
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Our Guy strides across a kick-ass bachelor pad to the door.HOT BLONDE (O.S.)Hey, baby...Our Guy turns to a HOT BLONDE in Frederick’s of Hollywood.HOT BLONDEForget something?When the tonsil probe ends, she bites his bottom lip.HOT BLONDEHurry home, lover.Our Guy smiles. "Cha-ching" -
just living the dream, baby.
 
2.
INT. LOBBY - DAY
Ding.
Elevator doors open and out strides Our Guy, readinghis smartphone. A stocky, black DOORMAN opens glass doorsfor him.DOORMAN’Morning, Sir!OUR GUYHi, Doorman!
EXT. BUILDING DRIVEWAY - CONTINUOUS
A gleaming ASTIN MARTIN, engine running, waits for Our Guy.The VALET opens the door for him.VALETMake a million bucks today, Sir!OUR GUY(climbs in car)You bet, Car Parking Dude!
INT. ASTIN MARTIN - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
"Infatuation" blares on the car stereo. Our Guy glances inthe rearview mirror at Doorman, Valet and Hot Blonde in thedriveway. He smiles to himself, hits the gas and - BAM! -MUSIC SCREECHES TO A HALT.REVEAL Our Guy has rammed the back of a MANURE TRUCK. PIGSSQUEAL. GOOEY SHIT flows through the Astin Martin’s windowsand sunroof, covering Our Guy as we --SMASH CUT TO:
INT. CHRIS’ APARTMENT - DAY
Where the dream abruptly ends. A BUZZING alarm has replaced"Infatuation". Our Guy, CHRIS MATHESON, looks at theclock. It’s 7:35!CHRISShit!He bolts from bed, races around his crappy studio apartment,finds a pair of khakis. He pulls them on, flies out thedoor. Beat.

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