did the PTS/SP course. I had some great wins on the Purif, and one of the most dramatic was the running out of some anesthesia from some dental work many years earlier. I had a great key-out at the end of the purif, andafterwards noticed that my body needed much less sleep than it had before.After completing the purif, I was routed to the reg (at CC) for my next action which was TRs & Objectives. Still beingfairly new, I enquired as to what it was and the purpose. As I recall, the reg said that it puts a person in present-time, good communication and good control of their body. I replied that I already had all those attributes, andtherefore I didn't need it and it was an unnecessary action for me. The reg insisted that it was my next action, and Iinsisted that I didn't need it as I already had the EP (End Phenomenon). A stalemate developed, and this became astop on my Bridge progress for approx. 5 years.In the intervening time, I read a lot of books, bulletins, and PLs, and listened to a lot of tapes. I set about educatingmyself and learning all that I could. I was particularly interested in whole-track and OT related topics as opposed toDianetics and auditing PCs. By early 1992, I was fed-up with being stopped on the bridge, and decided that eventhough I didn't need the TR's & Objectives, I would just confront it and blow-through that barrier anyway. I pulled outthe credit cards and made the reg at Pasadena very happy. But before I started, I made an origination to the CSabout a bulletin I had read regarding individuals who had experienced a specific phenomenon, and that they shoulddo an Int Rndn prior to doing TR's. The CS replied in the affirmative, and so I was routed onto the Int Rndn. After running that one incident from when I was about 16, I began running some really wild OT, whole-track incidents.This was the first Scientology auditing I had received, and was running incidents that (I was to find out much later)are not addressed until one gets onto the OT levels. I blew a lot of charge and had some great wins and cognitionsfrom doing this action, and it was just afterwards that I originated that I was already Clear.That was a great experience for me and I gained many abilities as a result of doing the Int Rndn, but this was alsothe turning point in my Scientology experience. From that point forward, I was only run on unnecessary andenturbulating actions. Never again would any org deliver an action that I said I needed, which confused and upsetme no end. I was not to discover the exact WHY of this until after I had left the church.
After completing the Int Rndn, I routed back onto the TR's & Obj course which, I had mainted for the past five years Ialready had the EP of. The TR's went fine as those are just confronting drills. My confront was already pretty goodbefore starting, but it went up a bit more as a result of doing the drilling. Once we (my twin and I) completed the TR'sand actually started the Objectives processes, things took a turn for the worse (for me). Most often, the processwould simply produce no change, and it was just a waste of time for me. My twin could recognize this and would endthe process after a little while of no-change. But then, on orders of the CS, I would be overrun for hours sometimesa day or more, on an individual process. Then, the CS would acknowledge that I was overrun (which I hadmaintained all along), and I would be routed into the HGC for a "repair session". This occurred time and time againon each of the objectives processes. There was one process that produced a very slight release after about 20seconds (which my twin caught), but again, on orders of the CS, I was overrun for many hours and then "repaired"again. This went on the entire time I was on the Objectives, even though I could spot the point of release and rehabit myself without any help from anyone or any need of a repair session (because I was already Clear). By the end, Iwas totally sick of Objectives and repair sessions. At one point, I was routed into the HGC again, and an HGCauditor ran Objective ARC on me while I was on the cans. Then, just as I was about to go exterior, he stopped. Hethen tried several times to get me to say that I HAD gone exterior, but I kept telling him that no, he stopped toosoon. This was never taken up again either at Pasadena or LA Day or ASHO.
A SLICE OF SEA ORG LIFE
In Feb of '94, I routed into the SO, and did my EPF (Estates Project Force - kind of like boot camp) at PAC Base(Pacific Area Command). The PPO (Personell Procurement Officer) of Bridge Publications had (several monthsearlier) seen my portfolio of drawings and artwork, and had convinced me to join staff at Bridge where I would beplaced as a designer in P&M (Promo & Marketing). Ordinarily this is not done, but due to the fact that I was alreadya professional in the field with proven stats (my resume and portfolio), all that was required was for me to completethe EPF and Staff Status 2.My purpose in joining the SO was to contribute the most valuable thing that I could to Scientology - me. I consider abeing to be the most valuable thing that can exist. The EPF was not too dissimilar from what I expected. Lots of MEST work, long hours, a lot of study time, etc. However, it was during my EPF that I began seeing some verydisturbing indications that stuck my attention.The first outpoint of course, was the living conditions for regular staff. I was apalled at the "normal" and acceptedliving conditions for the vast majority of staff in the PAC area. Although renovations were underway in the entirePAC complex, it was what I perceived as the utter disregard for the well-being of the staff by Int Mgmt that struck me.