Jesus in Prison

Jesus in prison
Jesus in Prison
(journal of a remand prisoner)
ravindra ranasinha
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Jesus in prison
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS
TURNED SOMEONE
TO BE
A CRIMINAL
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Jesus in prison
CURTAIN RAISER
I am REAL. My experience is REAL. The men with whom I lived are REAL. But their names are given
fictitious to save their identity. Only who gets the passport and the visa through a Court of Law
could only enter this ‘region of universal knowledge’. This, anyone could treat as a research, a
survey or observations, discussions, experiences, as memoir or autobiography or a journal, story,
diary, fiction....anything anyone likes, or one could call this sociological, religious, criminological,
anthropological or let anyone call this gay or homosexual or human rights or ......anything.... This is
everything for me.... There is no label I could give because my experience is a totality.... The
purpose of reading this can vary and anyone can find anything...from the great philosopher to the
lover of fiction.... Our life is a fictional one – I realized this truth of what Buddha said (Maya) only
when I got this ‘passport’. The fiction is found in the ‘outside’ and when one goes ‘inside’, the
fiction is turned upside down. Therefore, the ‘outside’ man is standing on his head whereas the
man ‘inside’ stands from his feet. Which is better....? Standing from head or feet...? If you stand on
your head you could see the caricatures of Disneyland whereas if you stand on your feet you could
see the ‘humans’. Humans who have been branded as ‘animals’, ‘monsters’, ‘vermin’, as beyond the
social, outside society, as feral1.
This book is to prove that ‘crimes, even the worst and most seemingly inexplicable, do not happen
in a vacuum’2. The criminal is a product of the society. I call this the citizen-society as all those who
are in the prison are citizens in the country and everyone has a responsibility towards them. No one
can wash their hands! Someone in the citizen-society has contributed to send the citizen-member
to jail and to brand him/her as a criminal. The reason for a citizen to come before a criminal court
could vary: cultural, political or economical: lack of education, unemployment, undue influence,
unfair treatment, negligence or abandonment. Somehow, what was visible was that those in power
(wealth, ownership, social status) have exploited the branded citizen who is weak in voicing for
his/her rights and have made to turn against the power structure in order to ensure survival. The
crimino-legal sphere is weak in listening to the accused who is sent to prison and the ‘books’ are
only for those who are in ‘power’: justice stands on its head! 3
This journal is for someone who could come out from the ‘dreamland’ and think alternatively and
humanely. Not to look at this with the biological eyes but to read this with an eye of one’s heart. Do
not read this book if you are ‘pure’ and ‘free of any sin’. I am a sinner and I was with the sinners! I
was sleeping, eating, drinking, laughing, and crying with the sinners. I love them because they are
natural. No superficial, ostentatious, artificial and sophisticated style in them but simple and
truthful. I love them because they are humane. If one is unable to see the human inside of the
‘criminal’ then better not touch this book. Saints beware; do not defile yourself by touching this
book!
I believe in one thing: Jesus was always with the sinners. He loved them, He spoke to them, He
listened to them, He laughed with them, He lived with them and finally, He was crucified with them.
He was treated as a criminal and was given the worst punishment the world knew at that time.
Today, He is living with the sinners, He relieves them of their burdens and He has become the
Saviour. So it is this Good News that this journal is all about!
1
Collier, R. 1998. Masculitinities, Crime and Criminology, pg.91.
2
ibid. pg.107.
3
Parker, I., quoting Derrida (ed. ‘Deconstructing Psychotherapy’, 1999, pg. 46.) says that ‘what constitutes justice is the
desire to address oneself to the other in the language of the other (emphasis in bold is mine)’.
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TRUTH unfolded daringly....believe it or not....many actors....many scenes....BUT ONE TECHNICIAN:

LORD JESUS CHRIST!
ravindra ranasinha
Email: ravindraranasinha@yahoo.com
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Jesus in prison
17th November 2009
The State Counsel screamed.
“Your honour, this man is a big rogue”, I was patiently looking at him. His eyes big and glimmering
in anger. “Remand this man till the case is taken up for trial”.
The judge was scribbling something.
I looked up at the ceiling, fans were working and there came the vision of Jesus on the cross, blood
running down his cheeks. He had a smile on his lips.
Mudliyar: (in high tone) Accused remanded till 28th April 2010.
And Jesus said unto me, “Verily I say unto thee,
Today shalt thou be with me in paradise”.
“Thank you Jesus”, I said.
Time - 4.00 p.m.
Place – Welikada Prison, L Hall (The Remand)
I was asked to go into the first room in the hall and the wooden door was locked. There was only a
small hole through which one could see who is inside the room. No ventilation at all. Tired, I lied on
the floor. No lunch, no dinner.
Slept on the naked floor.... I didn’t feel it uncomfortable. Very relaxed.... I felt something strange...
He was with me, Jesus. I knew that.
I was not allowed to go to the toilet.
Another eight persons were brought in around 6.00 p.m. Altogether nine people slept in the 8’ x 6’
room. There were tatty mats – full of bugs. I prayed – “Jesus, give me a good sleep” – I was dog
tired – thanks to Jesus the floor was cold. I slept.
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18 November 2009
I was taken to room no. 10. There were two in the room. They smiled at me. I greeted them with a
smile. They helped me with a small pillow to sit on the floor.
Nuwan came close to me – a young chap of 32 years.
“Where’s your house brother?”
“Katubedda”.
“Oh, I’m from Angulana. This is Buddhi – he’s from Borupana. We are here for the past six years. I
was a ‘golaya’ of ‘Ratmalana Chamal’. You may be feeling tired?”
He served me some rice and sambol to a plate. I didn’t have any appetite to eat.
“What were you?”, Nuwan inquired me.
“I was a teacher. An English teacher”.
“That’s good, you can teach us. I like to polish my English. It’s difficult to make sentences with ‘do’
and ‘does’ – hey, will you come to do English?” he asked Buddhi.
I was happy that I could spend my time teaching them.
“Are you all Christians?”
“Yes, only Buddhi”, Buddhi shook his head.
“I’m a Buddhist but I went to the church. There was a sister whom I loved very much. One day she
took me to the church. From that day onwards I went to the church. Her parents were in
Bandarawela. I used to go there with her. She always carried a Bible in her hand. I didn’t like to pray
because I kept the lamp to Kali amma. One day the priest told me that all evil spirits will run away
in the name of Jesus and he prayed for me. Also he gave me Polk to eat. Somehow after sometime I
had a row with the sister and stopped going to see her. I heard that now she is in Cyprus teaching
the Gospel. I could have gone with her but now I am here. I had four women in life – not married”.
“We can pray here”.
“I will not come. Buddhi will join”.
Then he got close to me.
“You know, you can’t stay in this prison without money. You have to spend money for food and
water. Tell your wife to send two thousand rupees every week”.
I saw stars! How could she manage? But what should I do? Never mind!
They brought a mobile phone and gave me with an account number to ask my wife to deposit
money. I called my wife. She promised to put one thousand five hundred rupees. They agreed –
very happy.
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19 November 2009
The odour – unbearable – heat of these nine hundred people, pigeons, toilets – a sickly place. The
heat comes as most of the people here, drug addicts, do not bathe. Such a smell and a heat in a hall
that looks like a school hostel dormitory with 140 rooms.
L hall is a supermarket. This is a miniature of some supermarket in the town. Vendors shout, “Soap,
tea, milk, bread, cheap stuff, come buy”. Every corner someone shouts selling drugs. “Hey, bring
five hundred bucks, guys come quickly...” Another walks selling a good shirt and a towel – definitely
stolen from somewhere. The sound of the supermarket goes on till midnight. From morning till
night the same noise travels to every corner in the hall. The noise increases towards the evening –
especially after the roll-call at 5.00 p.m. Once the main Iron Gate is closed in the evening the hall is
reigned by the drug sellers. In every room four to five people gather and enjoy the smoke of drugs.
In my room, too, they take drugs and I was looking at them. They show so much greediness towards
drugs. I was observing their action. Heroine is put on a zinc paper and they hold a lamp underneath
and draw the smoke when the powder gets heated through a tube they have in the mouth. After
consuming the powder they lean onto the wall and keep talking of their ‘heroic’ deeds and
automatically fall asleep. So that’s how they consume ‘money’.
“O Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”, I prayed.
So unclean, the inside of the hall. Clothes hanging everywhere, dirty walls with brownish patches,
people sleeping in the borders, dirty and filthy.....
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20 November 2009
A skeleton walking....
I was amazed... an unseen image...
I was gazing at him. I was on my way to the toilet. This man was there looking at me. His eyes red
and protruding... A scary figure... A cough came from him... a TB patient, I thought....A big lump of
phlegm he spat...My heart was throbbing.... I wanted to look at him carefully, I was pissing and
thinking.... A stinking toilet with all the garbage piled up.... a rat was looking at me.... Maybe
wondering who this new man pissing here....seems unfamiliar.... the other side someone had done
the big job but the dirt was there....flies having a busy time.... Life.....is this, here with flies, rats,
cockroaches, cats, pigeons, bugs, ticks and what not.
I came out after pissing....He’s still there holding the railing looking down at the first and ground
floors. I was behind him...Oh, no flesh, only bones, good heavens how could he sleep or
walk?....won’t this whole skeleton dismantle and fall, break into pieces? He could be easily
dismantled.... A ghost one might say if one sees him in the midnight....A soul... a child of Almighty
suffers definitely for renouncing Him.
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21 November 2009
I prayed with Nuwan and Buddhi in the morning.
They fought with each other during lunch time for a petty matter. They were like bulls butting each
other to the walls. I jumped out of the room. People gathered. Both injured. Room covered with
rice and water. Plaster of dhal could be seen on the wall. Both left the room. Priyantha came to
clean the place and I helped.
Nuwan came in later: “Brother, I told you not o pray. Kali starts working when I pray. Kali won’t
allow me to pray. Hereafter I will not join you in prayers”.
Silence.
I sat on the floor and went into meditation.
“Dear Jesus, strengthen me through the Holy Spirit. Make these friends realize that you are
with them living in this room. Jesus, touch their souls. Talk to them in their dreams and
through the Holy Word. Show me how I should approach these people. Let me have the
guidance of the Holy Spirit. Pardon them for their sins. Help them dear Jesus, Amen”.
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22 November 2009
Priyantha told me that ‘Mara’ (Marasinghe) was a thug in Ratmalana and his parents and the
people in the area were dead scared of him. When he walks on the road no female comes to meet
him as he was such a boisterous character. A murderer and a rapist, now Mara suffers with some
sickness, no one knows, but as they say, doctors have meddled with his body and given a drug
which has brought him to this state, to that ghostly skeletal figure....only 30 years old, but looks a
75 years old man....Is this the punishment God has imposed on him?
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23 November 2009
Just after the morning roll-call one could see specially the drug addicts squatting along the drain
outside the hall waiting till urine passes. They just stay, heads drooping and then after fifteen to
twenty minutes time urine passes. Quite a substantial time of suffering squatting there.
Buddhi told me that it is because the drugs make the whole body dry.
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24 November 2009
Filth is what prevails in this prison. I am sure in every prison it is the same. Filth in the mouths of the
guards and prisoners. There is no other language that one could hear in the prison. The language
used here is to look down upon the other or to crush the other. They scream and shout at the other
in filth. From early morning till the time they go to sleep in the night it is ‘you son of a bitch’ or ‘you
fucking bastard’ or else ‘go and fuck your mother’. Debasing them purposely... Why the guards use
filth? They, too, are victims of this system – always in pressure among criminals - the threat to their
life is something that develops the tension and makes them to use filth as a repressive tool.
Prison is just a minute space. Don’t they use filth in the political arena? I could remember how filth
and obscenity prevailed in the legislature – the law-making body....that whole drama was shown in
the television and the whole world saw it. So isn’t that the place from where immorality flows to
the society? The indecency of the politicians flows to the public and a complete moral debasement
occurs. The cultural politics of the word thus functions – immoral and repressive. Those politicos –
males, sexualize language and so it is this masculine power of the language that crushes the society.
How could we overcome this madness in the language? Isn’t it an insanity of the outside world –
the insanity of the so-called civilized world that makes the members of the society to murder each
other through the language? So the country’s civility is nothing but an unconscious madness or
insanity. So the filth becomes an unconscious creation of the civilized world. Such madness prevails
in diverse spaces: institutions that discipline and punish the members of the society!
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25 November 2009
Holy Angel spoke to me.
“Ravi, how are you?”
“I’m O.K.”.
“How is your health?”
“Fine”.
Holy Angel laughed. I love to listen to that laughter. “You sound very confident”.
“Of course!”
“Good, we pray for you. God is with you”.
“Thank you”.
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26 November 2009
Case of a citizen:
“Brother, I became a murderer because of an inspector of Police. He wanted us to kill one of his
enemies, a businessman. We were asked to do it. I went with two of my friends for the job. We
finished it and were paid fifteen thousand rupees with two bottles of arrack. To tell you frankly, we
do not know exactly what wrong the businessman had done to the inspector. After that we got
used to killing people and rob from them. Murdering a man became a simple thing for me after the
first job. There was joy in killing people. If we didn’t do that there was some emptiness in us. We
got the training by killing the businessman and we became professional murderers. Extortion
became part of our business after that. Today we are in the prison and our trainer, that inspector is
still there in the free world”.
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27 November 2009
The pain in my soul brought Payne into me:
An exile from home, splendor dazzles in vain;

Oh, give me my lowly thatched cottage again!
The birds singing gayly, that come at my call --
Give me them -- and the peace of mind, dearer than all!
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!
I gaze on the moon as I tread the drear wild,

And feel that my mother now thinks of her child,
As she looks on that moon from our own cottage door
Thro' the woodbine, whose fragrance shall cheer me no more.
How sweet 'tis to sit 'neath a fond father's smile,

And the caress of a mother to soothe and beguile!
Let others delight mid new pleasures to roam,
But give me, oh, give me, the pleasures of home.
To thee I'll return, overburdened with care;

The heart's dearest solace will smile on me there;
No more from that cottage again will I roam;
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.
Home, home, sweet, sweet, home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!4
I read this over and over again until tears dropped from my eyes: There's no place like home, oh,
there's no place like home!
4
Authored by John Howard Payne
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28 November 2009
A letter from M.
I was praying all these days to get a chance to contact you and now I found a person
through whom I can communicate with you.
Don’t worry, see God is present....He is present even in the prison. In today’s Gospel Jesus
says, ‘You will be betrayed even by parents and brothers, by relatives and friends; and they
will put … you to death. You will be hated by all …. But not a hair of your head will perish’
(Luke 21.16 -18).
Believe in the Lord, He will surely help you. I say the rosary every night and do sacrifices
because when the disciples wanted to know why they couldn’t send away the evil spirits He
said ‘you need to pray and do sacrifices’.
Be strong. God is with you, God who was with Peter when he was in the prison.
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29 November 2009
The prisoners have their own world.....a world that is completely unthinkable for an ‘outsider’. A
separate community is formed with all possible vices. It is a place where scheming, planning,
dealing and exploiting take place...a place accepted and legalized by the authorities. In a way it is a
forbidden universe. They renounce all the virtues in the ‘outside’ world once they are sent in and
agree to live this life. The air inside the remand prison is nauseating: the prisoner can breathe it....it
is his life...
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30 November 2009
M. brought me papers and pens.
When people wanted to write letters and affidavits they came to me asking for paper. These
helpless people must be provided with all these facilities. Communication is the most vital part in
the human life for which the prison has not given any value. No one goes to ask officials to provide
paper. The subhuman treatment they get from the officers makes the prison environment a beastly
place.
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Dhammapada – teachings of Jesus Christ

Man shall not live by bread alone:
but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
Ye are the salt of the earth:
but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted?
Thou shalt not kill;
and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgement.
Thou shalt not commit adultery:
that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with
her already in his heart.
That whosoever shall put away his wife,
saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery.
That ye resist not evil:
but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and
pray for them.
That ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them.
When thou prayest, enter into the closet, and when thou hast shut thy door,
pray to thy Father which is in secret.
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt,
and where thieves break through and steal.
The light of the body is the eye; if therefore thine eye be single,
thy whole body shall be full of light.
No man can serve two masters.
Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness,
and all things shall be added unto you.
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01 December 2009
Blisters are all over my body. They say because of the heat of the food. Unhealthy way of cooking –
can it be the gasses or the chemicals in those huge cauldrons that causes this? I didn’t want to
scratch. I just bear it. Once a blister is broken a watery substance comes out and if it touches other
places the scratchy effect spreads. Everyone has this. They scratch and blood comes. So no one
likes to touch another’s body; wounds everywhere. The method of cooking causes this: an
allegation of the prisoners. Health inspectors must have the authority to come into prisons and
ensure that prisoner’s lives are secured in the prison space.
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02 December 2009
M. brought me soap, toothpaste, bread and biscuits. Nuwan has sold all that. I knew that it was for
drugs. I kept silent.
Stealing is common. For drugs: shirts, trousers, slippers and what not are being sold. Washed
clothes on lines disappear in seconds.
In the nights when people sleep the drug addicts slowly crawl to the rooms to steal. They open the
bags and take whatever they could get hold of. When captured, the beating takes place almost
killing the thief. The thief bears the beating as his target is to satisfy his greediness. Somehow the
stealer slips away and the commotion ends.
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03 December 2009
‘Those who want constant happiness or wisdom should often change themselves’, says Confucius.
These people are so inflexible, rigid, and adamant and never want to see a change in themselves.
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04 December 2009
“Something exceptional takes place in a court of law”, said Buddhi. I was curious to know what it is.
“You know, when the culprit’s name is called he stands up and the judge gazes at him. It’s a strange
connection that the accused and the judge build. In one way it is opposite and in another it is
complementary. The judge cannot survive without the criminal. And also the criminal needs the
judge. Now how can we say which is the sun and which is the shadow? We know that there are
popular criminals who have been great!” Quite a philosophical thinking....
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05 December 2009
Here in the remand I noted that people are called in names that belong to things. This is very
interesting.
Let me note here some of those names: Sticker, bothal (bottle), polla (stick) car, tractor, lorry,
potha (book).
Those people are never called by their real names. The identity of objects is thus passed over to
humans emphasizing the fact that the name given in their birth is no more valid in such a confined
place like the prison. Thus delinquency has objectified the prisoner.
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06 December 2009
M. sent me some papers and pens. I use them to teach English to Nuwan and Buddhi. Nuwan picks
up fast. Whenever he sees some phrase or hears a word in the television he comes and asks for the
meaning as well as the grammatical usage – such keenness of a student.
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07 December 2009
My mind went to Shulammi, the beautiful lass – king Solomon’s last wife, in line she is not the first
or the second but one thousand first – to whom he wrote romantic verses. My mind read the love
songs to Shulammi:
How fair and how pleasant art thou,
O love for delights!
This thy stature is like to a palm tree,
And thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
I said, I will go up to the palm tree,
I will take hold of the boughs thereof:
Now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine,
And the smell of thy nose like apples:
And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved,
That goeth down sweetly,
Causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak 5.
5
Song of Solomon 7.6-9
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08 December 2009
Nuwan told me about Priyantha’s gay relationships.
“You will see in the nights”, said Nuwan. Priyantha didn’t utter a word but just passed a smile at
me.
It was a moment that Genet came to my mind. Gays, sperms and their smell.....What a world he
created in ‘The thief’s Journal’?
"Erotic play discloses a nameless world which is revealed by the nocturnal language of
lovers. Such language is not written down. It is whispered into the ear at night in a hoarse
voice. At dawn it is forgotten."
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09 December 2009
‘For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God’ 6.
6
Romans 3.23
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10 December 2009
A kind of force is surging in me...a need to challenge the conditions... How did those leaders like
Gandhi, Luther and Mother Teresa work? Definitely they would have developed a strong spiritual
force...a force developed inside the person through deep prayer, reflection and activism. What is
my activism? To give flesh to the belief of Jesus and awaken the spirit deep within others. My
activism has to be a life giving one. Therefore, I need to love the inmate and transfer the mercy of
Jesus and on the other to do justice by making their experiences revealed to the world. The period
that I am going to stay in this prison will help me to extract the stories, organize them under the
banner of Jesus, and ensure that love of the ‘outsider’ is poured on them through various means
fulfilling justice.
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11 December 2009
What happens if we fail to reach out and help others?
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12 December 2009
Life of the remand prisoner is horrible. He’s a shattered entity. He doesn’t know when he would go
out. They stay for longer periods. Sometimes there cases are no dated. They feel as nonentities. Life
is no more in them. They want to kill themselves as well as to kill those who sent them in. There is
no love and caring extended towards them. They are no more treated as humans. Longer period of
stay in the remand prison means loss of family, loss of relations and loss of friends. An isolated
being is created in this space; a being who mull over his loneliness; a being who transforms himself
to an enemy of the society.
When Aram told me that he would kill his father-in-law, mother-in-law, brothers-in-law, and his
wife, it was not because of anything but he has not received any visits for the past six months. He
had been in the remand for the past eleven months. So lack of visits, pressure within the remand
prison, tension and worry brings this unrest within the prisoner.
The prisoner worries over family matters. He’s helpless. He wonders how the family survives. My
survey revealed that nearly 60% of the remand prisoners claimed that their families are shattered:
shattered due to lack of income. When the breadwinner is in the prison what solution is their for
the family? The family unit is scattered. An automatic unrest in the society erupts. More vice and
viciousness develops. The members of the family become victims of a ‘vicious cycle’. Who cares
about them!
The helpless members are pushed into poverty. They go begging, robbing, women and girls engage
in prostitution – furthering the sickness prevailing in the society. The ‘system of discipline’ creates a
sick and mad society. So the cycle goes on! Where will this end up?
Drugs and weapons are circulated in the society at a large scale. The elite citizens – rulers, makers
of law, protectors of law, and preachers of morality together with wealthy businessmen – have
created the ‘system’. They are in the summit of power and manoeuvre smuggling of drugs and
arms. The innumerable stories of the prisoners prove of this prevailing condition in the country. So
the real culprits are free – the cause of the ailment still remains – how could the crimino-legal
system in the country solve this burning issue?
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13 December 2009
These people should be helped to choose better priorities.
They are under excessive pressure.
They should be helped to recognise the harmfulness of such pressure.
At this moment their priority is to consume drugs, to commit suicide – Can we help them to re-
evaluate their priorities?
A challenge is visible. Tension is at every corner.
A mad-house created under the support of the ‘system’.
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14 December 2009
Case of a citizen:
“Brother, it was politician X who wanted us to murder his opponent. It was during an election
period. The opponent was much more powerful than X; I mean he was very popular. X had the fear
that he would lose the election. So he made all the plans and gave us directions when and where to
do the job. We went on a killing spree. It was not only the opponent but several others, too, got
killed. We were paid well and treated well. Thereafter, X kept us as his personal guard. We were
always behind him wherever he went. Political rallies were special places where he wanted our
presence. We gave a full guard. Today we are here in the prison and X has forgotten us. It was for
money that we did everything”.
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15 December 2009
Received a letter from M.
Happy to see you through the letter. You are very positive even in the middle of all kinds of
troubles. I started to read the book ‘Man’s search for meaning “ by Viktor E. Frankl. Man has
power to do anything to exist in this world. I had the book in my library. People can do
marvels...isn’t it...?
I know you are not worried. You make a difference being with those people in the prison...
I will come to see you one of these days.
I will send you three books and a Bible.
I talked to your wife and son. She was crying and said that she wanted to take you out...She
cannot live without you....Son is O.K. He is doing well and he told me that you were very
silent and not much communication with him but he said that he knows how much you love
them.. He said that he would do his best for the examination and try to get you out from
there....Other two don’t know much about the situation..nice children.
I know you are doing something good for those men and the person whom I know said that
you help them too...Try to keep the spirit...God is there to help you.
Remember how Viktor E. Frankl was in the concentration camps with all the torture. I have
not yet finished reading ...I read it earlier now can’t remember...I will tell you more after
reading...
Tell me if you need anything..I will come to see you...Pray for me too. When you come we
can work together....
Try to keep your health....
God Bless You!
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Viktor Frankl wrote the following while

being marched to forced labor in a Nazi concentration camp:
We stumbled on in the darkness, over big stones and through large puddles, along the one road
running through the camp. The accompanying guards kept shouting at us and driving us with the
butts of their rifles. Anyone with very sore feet supported himself on his neighbor's arm. Hardly a
word was spoken; the icy wind did not encourage talk. Hiding his hand behind his upturned collar,
the man marching next to me whispered suddenly: "If our wives could see us now! I do hope they
are better off in their camps and don't know what is happening to us."
That brought thoughts of my own wife to mind. And as we stumbled on for miles, slipping on
icy spots, supporting each other time and again, dragging one another on and upward, nothing was
said, but we both knew: each of us was thinking of his wife. Occasionally I looked at the sky, where
the stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind a dark bank
of clouds. But my mind clung to my wife's image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard
her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look then was
more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.
A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so
many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that love is the
ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest
secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is
through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world may still know
bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter
desolation, when a man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may
consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way--an honorable way--in such a position man can,
through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the
first time in my life, I was able to understand the words, "The angels are lost in perpetual
contemplation of an infinite glory."
In front of me a man stumbled and those following him fell on top of him. The guard rushed over
and used his whip on them all. Thus my thoughts were interrupted for a few minutes. But soon my
soul found its way back from the prisoners existence to another world, and I resumed talk with my
loved one: I asked her questions, and she answered; she questioned me in return, and I answered...
My mind still clung to the image of my wife. A thought crossed my mind: I didn't even know if
she were still alive, and I had no means of finding out (during all my prison life there was no
outgoing or incoming mail); but at that moment it ceased to matter. There was no need to know;
nothing could touch the strength of my love, and the thoughts of my beloved. Had I known then
that my wife was dead, I think that I still would have given myself, undisturbed by that knowledge,
to the contemplation of that image, and that my mental conversation with her would have been
just as vivid and just as satisfying. "Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is as strong as death."
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
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16 December 2009
Nuwan as a Buddhist asked me what navadora (nine openings) is. I answered him. I was correct.
Buddha has told that navadora or nine doors in the human body opens when a man dies. Two eyes,
two nostrils, two ears, urinary organ, anal and mouth are the places from where the water goes out
when a man is dead and they are the nine doors.
According to Nuwan while a man is alive the nine doors are opened due to consumption of narcotic
drugs.
Phlegm, urine, loose-motion, mucus and a watery thing comes from those places. Why the body is
tortured so much?
I asked Nuwan why he takes drugs and his answer was very plain: “to die”.
I kept silent.
“Brother, you know most of us know that we are going to get condemned. We are not sure when
we could go home. I have several murder cases. I don’t have any hope in this life”.
I wanted to interfere....
“But isn’t there a change possible?”
“What change?”
“May be the Word of God”.
“No way. I will not think of God, here in this prison. There is only one religion here. It is the religion
of the devil. This is the devil’s den. You must practice religion in the outside, not here. Don’t you
know that we are sinners? God didn’t send us here. We came here because wee were with the
devil. So there is no point reading the Bible and praying. There is my Bible in the bag. If you want
you take it. I have read it many times”.
I didn’t want to counter him.
I silently prayed for him.
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17 December 2009
For the past four weeks I was eating a little and praying unceasingly. Every Friday I was fasting. My
behaviour created unrest among the room mates. They ate well. They consumed drugs. They
scolded me for not eating. For the four weeks I spent with these people I came to know that Nuwan
cannot talk without using bad words. His anger explodes in seconds. Anything can happen in the
room if he gets worked up. So I had a tension in me. Nuwan wanted to dominate the room. A big
show. I calmed myself through prayers though I get internally disturbed. It was a time of testing
how strong I am to serve God. Peace should reign me. The whole day I sit and pray except to go to
the toilet, bath, and eat and to the roll call.
Counting is done in the morning at six and evening at five. One day in the evening a person came to
me and said, ‘sorry to disturb, since you are always in a thinking mood, I thought to come and talk. I
worked in a private company as a cashier. I got caught for cheating. What did you do?’
“I am a teacher. I had to pay a big amount. I entered into settlement but couldn’t make the
payment last month on the seventeenth. So I was sent here for six months”.
“Don’t worry, we are all the same. All have come here for some reason. Are you a Buddhist?”
“No, I’m a Christian”.
“Nice, you can go to the church for Christmas. I didn’t see you at the kema polima”.
“No, I don’t come. Room fellows they bring”.
“Do you pay them?”
“Yes, one thousand five hundred rupees”.
“What for? Stop it immediately. The courts sent you and the government has the responsibility to
give you everything free. You said you were a teacher. May be married?”
“Yes, three kids”.
“So, feed your children with that money. Do you know what they do with the money? They buy
drugs. They burn your money. Please stop that. You must not do that”.
I was a bit baffled. He is right. But how could I get my things done? I am not used to the place...
“God, I know it is you who spoke through this person. Guide me further. Jesus be with me”, I
prayed looking at the sky.
“Let’s meet tomorrow”, and he disappeared.
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18 December 2009
Buddhi came to the room with food and started reading the weekly menu loudly.
“Monday – dhal, brinjals and green leaves.
Tuesday – sweet potatoes, grams and green leaves.
Wednesday – dhal, pumpkin and green leaves.
Thursday – dhal, leeks and green leaves.
Friday – dhal, ladies fingers and green leaves.
Saturday – dhal, brinjals and green leaves.
Sunday – yellow rice, pappadam, brinjals, dhal.
For breakfast – rice and coconut sambol or bread and sambol
Dinner comes with soya meat, carrot, cabbages, sweet potatoes and manioc.
Fish – unwashed, half boiled. Size one inch.
Chicken – half boiled, legs only or wings. Size one inch.
What energy do we get? Brother, this is the way these fellows treat humans. They say ‘prisoners
are humans’ but, in fact, the President of the country must come here to see whether we are
treated as humans. The government is spending a big sum for food for the prisoners. Even there is a
prescribed weight for chicken and fish. The government spends three hundred and fifty rupees per
day for each prisoner. But here they spend only one hundred rupees or two hundred rupees per
day and God knows where the balance goes. The government must look into this. There are more
than thirty five thousand prisoners in all the prisons in the country and just imagine the amount of
money the government is spending to maintain all of them. There are many in these prisons who
have failed to go out because their families don’t have money to pay the bail or the fines. Daily
people are sent inside but no one knows the reality. Those who have for one thousand rupees also
stay here for many years and who investigates these situations? The disciplinary institutions don’t
have proper management standards. They want to brand a person, that’s all”.
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19 December 2009
“Hello, what news?”
“Everything is fine.”
“You seems to be very happy?”
“Why not? These people are lovely people. I love them, I pray with them. Nobody wants them, but
God wants them”.
“You are right. Ravi go ahead. Jesus is with you”.
“Pray for me...pray for all of us...pray for my whole mission”.
“Yes, we are with you.”
“Thank you”.
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20 December 2009
I am not a good story writer but what I saw in my dreams should be put in its real form. This can be
a very naive type of writing or an amateur short story but still it is my dream....
What title shall I put to this? I do not know. The reader can put any title he/she likes but let me call
it ‘I am satisfied’.
Christmas eve and the restless city...dangling and jingling in every street and every corner...perfume
scent, trotting and pounding...young and old in smiles and chats...all in joy and festive
mood...Ranasinhas and Welikalas all out in their Benzes, Monteroes and Hiaces and what not...All
go with rosy cheeks and reddened lips... The women turn this way and that making their pleats
ensuring they don’t get crushed... so conscious of the saree pota and the havariya... ‘How will the
others look at us?” A question of inquisitiveness from the time they enter the church till they leave
the place... A question of pomposity...”Do we look more gorgeous than others?” “Our babes in their
best dresses?” Creation of a heaven in colour...!
“Hark the Herald Angels sing
Glory to the new born king...”
All so choric to celebrate the birthday of a king who did not have any colour or comfort... What best
dresses he had...? But in soprano the singing goes on...eyes go glimmering....imaginations run to
Bethlehem, a place where they have never seen and a vision of a new born king with a golden
crown and a smiling face in a manger in front of them...They are clueless of the boy who was lying
on straw in a chilly dark room barely covered and shivering in cold....
“This boy was given by God Almighty for the salvation of all mankind..”, the sermonizer
making his specs, in a joyful tone proclaims to the congregation that has attuned their ears to hear
of the ‘great salvation’. They never wanted to know whether the boy needed any clothes to cover
or milk to drink..they never bothered of those who tried to protect the child...Happy they were as
their salvation is ensured by this ‘new born king’...Happy they were for not knowing the difficulties
the Protectors had to experience.
“Joseph took Mary and the new born child on a donkey and left...”
So happily the congregation left the church..fire crackers and sky rockets... Ranasinhas and Welikals
once again in their luxurious vehicles.... imagining of the Christmas table adorned with cakes, wines
and whisky.
Christmas trees covered with colourful cards, bulbs, crepes... A glistening star right on top...’May be
guiding only the wise’...Others in laughter and joy...kisses and wishes...They exchange presents as if
He has been born in their houses...What joy He knew...?What celebration He saw...?
“Oh, what a beautiful frock..what surprise...cute...!!!”
“So you knew my taste...”
Ummmaaah...’Happy Christmas’...ummmaaah....” a long kiss of love.
x x x
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A Ranasinha boy is sleeping in the naked floor in room no. 10 of Welikada prison, covering himself
with his sarong, so chilly that he shivers...fire crackers disturb his sleep in the mid night...but still
struggles to cover himself with the sarong tightly to avoid the child..he’s sleeping soundly...yeah,
it’s Christmas, he knew, but...He rolled to this side and that...He felt someone tapping at this his
feet....
“Son, are you sleeping...?”, it was a voice in his dreams. “I am the new born king...”
Ranasinha boy didn’t open his eyes. Can this be just a dream? He made himself sit..wiped the eyes
to pen..No one...May be just imagination...lied again and closed the eyes...
“Son, I am here....I am with you...Beside you”.
Once again the voice called.
The Ranasinha boy raised himself. Opened his eyes wide. He looked at the wall...A ray of light that
comes from the small window falls on the picture of Jesus pasted on the wall. A pleasant smile....
“Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called
your son...” he muttered at the picture...closed his eyes...head drooped...tears ran down the
cheeks....
“There is no one for me Jesus...” involuntarily the words slipped out from his mouth.
Silence.....
Dimness in the room created a gloomy mood with a ray of light falling on Jesus. He is still smiling....
“My child, they will lay their hands on you and will persecute you, delivering you to the
prisons, bringing you before kings and governors. It will lead to an opportunity for your testimony.
So make up your mind not to prepare beforehand to defend yourself; for I will give you utterance
and wisdom which none of your opponents will be able to resist or refute…. you will be betrayed
even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and they will put … you to death, and you
will be hated by all…Yet not a hair of your head will perish”.
Jesus is looking at him...The boy was sitting and gazing at the picture…the other three inmates are
groaning and sound asleep…
The boy lied on the floor again. He tries to close his eyes but the thoughts run to his home…wife
and three kids maybe sleeping…wife may be crying while the children sleep…What joy is there…?
Who cares about them? No one… Thoughts travel to the High Courts…Massive doors, all
closed…Law is sleeping…that huge tree in the front covered with bats…darkness everywhere… The
State Attorney and the Judge who sent this boy for six months to prison without listening to the
plea, maybe happily sleeping dreaming of Christmas cakes and wines…parties and dances…
“….but I am with you”.
He quickly opened the eyes and looked at the picture…Once again for a sound sleep….
x x x
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Morning six…the room party whacks the iron door in the L hall with a rod to wake up the inmates.
“Wake up you fellow”, he groans…”Hey…yako get up”, he walks round the three floors shouting.
‘Mahattaya, came for counting…polim…polim…’ the inmates run out and the prison guard
counts…one…two…three…all go out two by two…all nine hundred and fifty in a line….
A big barrel of plain tea…all pissing in a row…
Spitting and squatting…phlegm and piss mixed and raises a stinking smell that no human could
bear….
“Today is Christmas”, someone said.
“Warella, warella, kema polimata”, screams a guard calling prisoners to squat in the middle
of the road to get their breakfast….
Sambol and a cup of rice…
“Thank you Jesus”, said Ranasinha boy, in the room.
“I, even didn’t have that…”
The boy looked at the picture of Jesus. He’s looking at the tin plate…
The boy is mixing sambol with rice…
“Let me have a mouth from you, I am hungry…”
The boy made a ball of rice, slowly lifted it up. “Jesus, this is for you”, and kept that in a
corner of the plate.
“Thank you, I am satisfied”.
The picture looked smiling….
End of the story.
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st
21 December 2009
Nuwan and Buddhi went for their case. I was alone with Priyantha. I was praying when a fair tall
chap came in and stood before me.
“Where’s lokka (the big boss)?”
“He went out”.
“I’ll sleep here”.
“O.K.”.
He was looking at me.
“Were you in this room for a long time?”
“Yes, one month”, I said.
“I am here in the remand for one year. Can’t go out. No one to pay my bail”.
“How much?”
“Fifteen thousand rupees. My parents are old. They are helpless. My sister is in Minneriya. This is
hell. I feel like jumping down from here. We have lost everything in our lives”, he sighed.
I felt sorry, a young man in despair.
“I will pray for you. God will send you back to your parents”.
“Yes, He is the only hope. I know, I am a Christian, he can do that”.
“Your faith is enough. Let’s pray”.
He smiled.
“Dear Jesus, help my friend who has come to you. He would have done something wrong but
pardon him. Help him. I thank you Jesus for being with him for the past one year and giving this
opportunity to come to you at this moment. Help his parents too. Have mercy on them, Amen”.
“I am really happy today”, a word of relief.
“Yes, Jesus relieves all those who are heavy-laden”.
“Shall I sleep here? I feel comfortable now”.
“Of course”.
Jesus put him to sleep.
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nd
22 December 2009
I love to look at the ground floor from the second floor. If I have a camera I would shoot the scene.
Clothes hanging everywhere, men after a good nights sleep busy like ants, two by two they move
out in a row from the Iron Gate...morning roll call...what a cinematic scene...a strand of light falls on
them from the back of the hall...dust plays in it.
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nd
23 December 2009
We work not with love but with a hammer! Said Mao Tse-tung.
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24 December 2009
By now I have many friends. They all ask about how I get food and water. I told them that I pay one
thousand five hundred every week to the room-mates. It was their advice not to make any
payment. If courts sent me here, the prison has the responsibility to protect me. They should
provide food, water, medicine, shelter and security. Therefore I was insisted by my friends to stop
immediately making payments. I took this advice seriously. I have already made six payments
amounting to nine thousand rupees. I was waiting till the time comes. I need to arrange a room to
go. I must avoid conflict. This step that I determined to take would relieve my wife immensely. With
that money she could fee the children.
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25 December 2009
GOD IS LOVE!7
Jesus came to this world as a marginalized being and suffered right from his birth. He was with the
oppressed people of his time and was in solidarity with them, entering into conflicts with the
existing social norms and practices. It is this message of Jesus we should understand and put this
message into practice by being followers of Jesus in our own context in Sri Lanka today.
7
1 John 4.16
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26 December 2009
I overheard the telephone conversation my room mate Nuwan had with his mother. Only what is
left in my memory could be transcribed here to learn the psychic condition of a prisoner.
“You bitch, why don’t you come to see me? Now for five years I am here and have you even cared
to take me out. I don’t have any visits and when others get visits what do you think I feel. Am I from
nowhere? Didn’t I come from your bloody womb...talk you bitch...you all enjoy life there and I am
here...why did you let that man f.......... you to bring me to this world....? Talk, am I a bastard...? Do
you understand what I say? The new year is coming... and what will you bring for me... will you
come... will you come, all this happened to me because of you people.
Can you remember that you told that your sister did a ‘kodivine8’ to our house. It was to destroy
our family... and that ‘kodivine’ fell on me in my ‘apala time’9. What did you people do to that?
Nothing. My ‘apala’ is still there. You never bothered about that ‘kodivine’ that bitch, your sister
did.
Can’t you remember how good I was when we were in Beralesgamuwa, in your mother’s house?
Can you remember I was the first in the class and even I went to the temple with my friends? I was
like a girl at that time, can you remember? But when thaththa took us to Gonakovila my whole life
changed. My life was ruined. That bright child was no more in me. That calm, girl-like. Character left
me. I was surrounded by rowdies. From every side we heard only ‘kunuharupa10’. So now it is me
with all the filth...Think about me...think what happened to me. That son of a bitch and you are
responsible for what happened to me. Accept or not...that is what happened to me...why you bitch,
you are silent? Talk...talk...te4ll me what you have to say....Am I wrong...yes, you never told me to
go killing people, but your man brought me to an area where killers were shown and introduced. So
I went killing...am I wrong...what job you people gave me or did you send me for any training... I
had to live, earn, so I went killing...you people didn’t take a single cent I brought home...you never
took a single cent....why because there was blood in them...yes, like ‘Kali’ I was going behind
blood...Kali’s avatar is with me, even now I can kill you if you are in front of me, you bitch, you
don’t have anything to say, keep the phone, come on 31st morning. If you don’t come, don’t come
thereafter. I don’t want to see you people...you are a curse o me. Why did you bear me in your
f.....womb....? I will die here, do you understand, I will die here....I will not be able to see the
outside world , try to take me out, find money, sell the property and take me out. Put a
motion....why don’t you people do that...? How can you say there is not property....? sell the house
now you stay and tame me out....Otherwise, the day I come out I will kill you all....understand you
f.....woman? Do you understand what I say?” (He disconnected the line).
So impatient Nuwan started walking up and down, reddish face, eyes goggled out in red – a
complete tensed moment.
I didn’t want to look at his face directly. I kept reading a book. He went out. I feel the tension. It was
such a scary talk. How could a son talk to a mother like that?
Again he came in and sat beside me. There was pin drop silence.
8
An evil spell
9
Bad time
10
Filthy language
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“Aiya”, he spoke to me.
“Am I wrong?”
What am I to say? If I say he’s wrong he will kill me. He was in such an anger. If I say he’s right he’ll
be happy. Yes, I must say he’s right and then....
“Yes, yes, you are right. I understand you. I understand you very well”.
My answer made him happy. I reassured that I understood him well.
“You know, what you heard was the truth. I was like a girl but see what has happened to me now. It
was the ‘kodivine’ that ruined me...”
“I know, these things happen to people. There are various reasons”.
“Was it wrong the way I spoke?”
“You know, you have your reasons”.
“My reasons are not unfair”.
“Yes, but your mother may be feeling sorry”.
When I mentioned about the mother he gazed at me. My heart throbbed. Is he going to do
anything to me? Suddenly he broke down. I was holding him. He cried and cried. I didn’t want to
ask him to stop crying. I understood very well that it was all that pent up emotions in him that
comes out as tears. It took nearly 30 minutes for him to return to normal.
“Brother, it was only you who accepted me. No one will try to understand me. I am sorry, I used
bad words”.
“No, no, it’s OK. Words become good or bad according to the situation, and according to the
listener”.
“You are right. You never speak bad words. I feel ashamed, I used bad words to my mother. Oh,
now I feel guilty”.
O Jesus, a guilt....a conscious reaction for a change.
Tackling a person doesn’t need many words. The right word at the right time will touch his
conscience. Selecting the right words, phrases are vital when dealing with those who are in tensed
mood. Especially with prisoners who are confined and live in a lonely state where there is not much
of time to waste when counselling as anything severe could take place if the matter is wrongly
handled. They need the listener to accept them. Acceptance – a vital feeling that should creep into
the patients soul erasing the loneliness. This develops belief on the other person, the listener. The
patient considers the listener as an empathizer. A relationship built on empathy.... The relationship
between the Samaritan woman and Jesus came to my mind.
He continued: “My mother loves me a lot”.
“Yes, you are lucky to have such a mother. She loves you and she listens to you. So definitely she
will come to see you. Be happy now”.
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It was a joyous moment. The situation was completely transformed – the act of the Holy Spirit – a
moment that anger was changed into happiness.
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27 December 2009
My wife visited me. I told through the mesh that not to put money to the given account anymore.
She was highly worried as to how I would manage without water. I told her that I will bear the
hardships. She heaved.
“It was very difficult to find this money. Malli (her younger brother) provided that”. She kept quiet. I
know my suggestion would relieve her. ‘Thank you Jesus you are clearing my path’.
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28 December 2010
Case of a citizen:
“Brother, Y is a famous businessman in the country and had connections with a very famous
politician (let us call this politician Z). Y ran a brothel with the help of Z. Both of them wanted us to
bring an actress to the brothel which had to be carried out forcefully. We did the job. We were first
observing her whereabouts. She used to travel in a three wheeler. We followed her many times.
Then a day came for us to take her. We informed Y that we are going to do the job. He was happy.
We brought her. It was not as simple as telling this story. We threatened her. She kept quiet and
was finally inside the brothel. Y and Z had their time with her. They raped her. Finally, they asked us
to take her away late in the night. Y was scared that this would bring negative consequences and
we were asked to finish her on the way. We took her in our van and near a bunt I sent a sharp knife
into her. I felt the warm blood in my hand. We finished her. But that, too, after four of us had her
body. She was almost dead. I left that body near the bunt and disappeared”.
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29 December 2009
An angel sent by god made all the facility to call home. This prisoner wanted to save me from the
Satan’s hand. I called my wife.
“I will call you tomorrow, because the room fellows press me for money. When I ask for money you
give the negative answer so that they will hear”.
She agreed. God’s plans are working.
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30 December 2009
An angel of god organized a room for me. A peaceful room. A Tamil Hindu stays in that room. He
spoke to me. “Pastor, you come in the evening. I will look after you” said he.
It was as if everyone has come to rescue me. Angels everywhere to protect me. I felt a strong
confidence. No one could do any harm to me. God answere my prayers.
“Why do you pay money to those fellows? You go to the office and complain. They will be definitely
chased out from that room. You must let them have their punishment. Those fellows take that
money for drugs. Water and food is given free here. You can go to the ‘polima’ (row) and bring you
food. Also water is there in the tank. They have cheated you. Go to the office”, another angel said.
I didn’t want to make a mess by going to the office.
In the afternoon Nuwan was in an excited look. He was making suggestions to me.
“Brother, tomorrow is a poya day”.
“Is it so?
“Poya days banking is not possible”
“Yes”.
I kept silent. I knew what he plans.
“Brother, akka may be knowing about that...?” He wanted me to tell my wife to put one thousand
five hundred rupees for the account. They were in a hurry to have the money to buy drugs.
“Yes, she should know”.
Buddhi came running to the room with a mobile phone and handed over to me.
A plan of Nuwan. Never mind, I have my plan, too – God’s plan.
I called my wife. The speaker was on. But as I have already informed her on the previous day she
said: ‘Ravi, I can’t put money. It’s difficult” and they heard it. They were gazing at me.
“Everything is finish. She doesn’t have money to look after the children even. I will bear all the
difficulties. I will go out and get my food. I will have my water”. As I knew my stagecraft I acted
superbly in front of the drug addicts in room no. 10. The Holy Spirit guided me.
They were silent.
Buddhi said that they are the real sinners. Nuwan approved it. All because they didn’t get the
money. For 1 ½ months they took 9000/- from me. They didn’t let me go out of the room. They
provided food and water. I was imprisoned inside a prison.
I went, for the first time, to the ‘polima’. So interesting, god made me to be among the people,
different types...filth and laughter...Thank you Jesus you freed me from the Satan’s hands!
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We had to squat or sit and wait in the hot sun. In rows that goes to the rice plank. Then the buckets
with dhal and pumpkin. A ass with green leaves.
I took my plate and went to another room where angels welcomed me.
“Master have your lunch. Here’s water”.
One angel kept a bottle of water near me. There were many to help me. They were like angels
coming to support me. I felt really secured. And finally God made me to win.
“Thanks Jesus for every thing”.
I finished my lunch and went to the room, packed my bed sheet and clothes to a shopping bag and
while Nuwan and Buddhi were looking left the room.
Came to room no. 134. Bala welcomed me. Peaceful. Happiness filled me. The Comforter is with
me.
Bala is a Tamil person who has murdered his spouse. For the past five years he has been in this
room.
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31 December 2009
I went to the tank to put a bath. All in a row. A ten feet long tank filled with water. The tank party
was ready. First the know persons of the prison officers. Secondly, the newcomers. Thirdly the old
people and fourthly, the young crowd. I was called to bathe with the old people. Again there were
angels to put water on me.
I conducted the midnight prayer service in the remand. Four persons gathered to room 113 -
Sundar, Kumu, Prabhu and Sethu. Songs of praise, Bible reading, thanksgiving and supplication. It
took one hour. We started at 11.00 and finished at 12.00 midnight followed by cakes and tea.
It was Kumu who has prepared tea. He would have had a visit today....
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Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye,
but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find,
knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,
do ye even so to them.
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way,
that leadeth to destruction.
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing,
but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them,
I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock.
Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
That ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins.
I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words,
when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.
Be ye wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
Fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and heavy laden and I will give you rest.
A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things.
For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven,
the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man;
but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
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01 January 2010
‘Dear Jesus, strengthen me to engage in your mission. This New Year you have selected me to find
your lost sheep. Guide me through the Holy Spirit.
I thank you for the past one and half months that you let me continuously discern and pray and also
as you were tested by Satan you, too, let me face that experience. You had a close watch on me. I
never got myself subjected to the tricks of Satan., in your name. You sent angels to save me. You
rescued me. As Job was given twice as what he had you gave me thrice than what I had after the
twest.
Thank you Jesus, for choosing me and showering the blessings. ‘Here is my son, I am pleased with
him’, Father says and I am happy. Dear Jesus, I know how you guided Peter and Paul. They were in
prison, they were tortured, and they were guided out and they were filled with the Holy Spirit whom
you sent. It is the same mission till death that I would serve for. Let me accomplish the mission you
have entrusted to me.
Thank you once again Jesus for opening the door for me to preach you Word - the Word of Truth –
the Message of Salvation to these prisoners.
Amen!’
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02 January 2010
Truth imprisoned – Freedom of thought imprisoned – Tissanayagam in white prisoner’s clothes.
The veteran journalist and columnist is in Welikada sentenced for 20 years – 20 years of rigorous
imprisonment. The State has hounded him under the legal tools of Emergency law and Prevention
of Terrorism Act.
I saw Tissanayagam moving in the line, may be after party work. I had the urge of talking to this
simple man but I couldn’t avoid the eyes of the guards.
But I am sure the government will release him.... the government will declare that the President has
pardoned Tissanayagam....political tactics to win the presidential elections and to win the hearts of
the civil society here in Sri Lanka and abroad.
Credibility is marred – nothing left to repair – a complete devastation. I heard that the International
Crisis Group has come out with a detailed report on war crimes committed by the armed forces and
the LTTE. Also Channel 4 has kindled fire of war crimes with more information. Television tells that
General Fonseka, too, speaks about war crimes and the parliament is in a chaotic state.
Sri Lanka needs to learn from the three decade long conflict she had. The politicos need to change
their attitudes....there way of looking at things – Sri Lanka is a multicultural society and that fact
cannot be denied. Now since the war is over immediate remedial measures are needed. The
country can’t continue with emergency laws and anti-terrorist laws anymore. The country needs
positive thinking – good religious values – values that will not make its own citizens criminals.
The State should promote and strengthen diverse human rights and fundamental rights. It should
appreciate the plural society and ensure that no community suppresses the other. This country
does not belong to any particular community or to any particular ideology. There has to be a
harmony among all people and all thinking.
At present, can we apply what is said in The Crucible11 to the Sri Lankan context: A political policy is
equated with moral right, and opposition to it with diabolical malevolence. Once such an equation
is effectively made, society becomes a congerie of plots and counterplots, and the main role of
government changes from that of the arbiter to that of the scourge of God’.
11
The play by the American playwright Arthur Miller
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03 January 2010
All in a row – naked – bathing at the tank. Splash - five buckets first, then soap, and another seven
buckets. Is that what you call bathing? The business of the tank party is just to splash water at those
who are sitting in the row. The commanding language is nothing but filth. I felt that these people
don’t feel like getting activated without such foul language.
I was wearing my trunk. No one feels shy. Especially, old people don’t bother staying naked
showing their penis and the balls of different sizes and shapes. They quickly take off their clothes
when they come to bathe. In fact, it was uncomfortable for me to see nude bodies of the same sex
but I gradually got familiar to the culture. I was wondering of this same-sex community, a legal
entity, a truth that cannot be refuted for any reason. A society of nudes. As we know, in the outside
people stay nude only furtively. Going nude is not a practice in our country. We don’t find people
unclothed in social functions. In Sri Lanka everything happens secretly, inside rooms or in secluded
places. Appearing naked in public is illegal. However, in other areas of the world there is
widespread acceptance for nudity. Let me call these people nudists as they practice nudism. Most
fundamentalist in our land believe that being naked with other people is necessarily always sexual,
and that nudism is morally wrong or pornographic. But these prisoners reject this view. As I can
remember nudity was one reason for Ashoka Handagama’s film ‘Aksharaya’ (Letter of Fire) to get
banned. The moralists in the country banned it fearing that country’s children will be spoiled but
they do uncover bodies and spoil them secretly.
Sex and Power
Foucault offers the following observations on the way sex and power are intertwined in modern
Western society.
'Nineteenth-century 'bourgeois' society-and it is doubtless still with us-was a society of blatant and
fragmented perversion. And this was not by way of hypocrisy, for nothing was more manifest and
more prolix, or more manifestly taken over by discourses and institutions. Not because, having tried
to erect too rigid or too general a barrier against sexuality, society succeeded only in giving rise to a
whole perverse outbreak and a long pathology of the sexual instinct. At issue, rather, is the type of
power it brought to bear on the body and on sex. In point of fact, this power had neither the form
of the law, nor the effects of the taboo. On the contrary, it acted by multiplication of singular
sexualities. It did not set boundaries for sexuality; it extended the various forms of sexuality,
pursuing them according to lines of indefinite penetration. It did not exclude sexuality, but included
-it in the body as a mode of specification of individuals. It did not seek to avoid it; it attracted its
varieties by means of spirals in which pleasure and power reinforced one another. It did not set up
a barrier; it provided places of maximum saturation. It produced and determined the sexual mosaic.
Modern society is perverse, not in spite of its puritanism or as if from a backlash provoked by its
hypocrisy; it is in actual fact, and directly, perverse.'
Michel Foucault (1990) The History of Sexuality vol 1. An introduction. Trans. Robert Hurley.
Harmondsworth: Penguin, p.47. French original 1976.
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04 January 2010
With me stays a young chap called Ajey in the room – thirty years old from Maharagama. His
mother goes begging. His two brothers are in the prison for drugs. This one has come after cutting a
hand of one of one of those who has come to attack him. Totally illiterate, his expressions, too, is
not so clear. He takes time to put out words. He’s struggling to gather proper words. When he came
to the room he used cannabis and drugs, but I explained him and he stopped. He understood that
he should be with Jesus. He came to the church, prayed, very sensitive and his innocence was
visible in his speech and behaviour. I told those who came for prayers that Jesus loves him a lot.
Not only him, his mother, too.
All in a row urinating. The foul smell is too much. Nearly fifty prisoners in the row. I looked at the
drain. Urine, red betel saliva, yellowish phlegm – what a scene?
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05 January 2010
A rash all over my body.
Is it something to do with food or an allergic condition? Scratchy and itchy. The body gets redden. It
can be for bugs, too. On the naked floor when we sleep they come in swarms to attack. Hundreds
of them. Those who use mats in the borders suffer indescribably. Also I was told that a small white
colour tick from the pigeons keep pestering all the night. The ticks are so small that they cannot be
seen. They creep into the clothes and when you dress they bite you but one doesn’t know from
where it manipulated its attack. In the seams, collars and pocket one could find them. A tiny,
whitish insect. The pigeons are in hundreds and they dwell at the top of the roof.
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06 January 2010
Kingdom of Hades......
Fights are common. Shouts.....screams.....someone hammers someone. All because of drugs.

Sometimes stealing takes place and all get together and hammer the culprit. Fights and filthy
speech goes together. “You son of a bitch, you fucking bastard, you mother fucker....and it goes
on...” All hell breaks loose and no one knows who hammered whom. Knives, pointed iron rods, and
whatever solid that could kill a man is used. Negative energy is activated. Satan is overseering his
army in action. Blood oozes.....someone screams of an attack......people run amuck.....all in
hundreds.....some fall....a sudden pin drop silence. Nothing has happened. The guards walk in. No
witnesses, no attacks, no victims. All very peaceful. Guards walk out smiling.
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07 January 2010
Bandu was helpless. A bank manger, now in the prison for 3 years. No one from home has come to
see him for the past two years. Somehow an energetic look is visible in his face. 52 years. Old. Had
only one shirt to wear from which he wiped his body after bathing. I gave a blue shirt which I had to
wear. He was happy.
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08 January 2010
The country is going to experience Presidential elections this month. Won’t they give the right for
the prisoner to vote? He is punished for a crime committed but how come that obstructs the rights
he has as a citizen? If the government spends money to maintain him, and has appointed paid
officers to protect him that itself proves that he has not lost his rights as a citizen. Then depriving
him of his right to vote is a violation of Constitutional rights which needs to be looked into by the
authorities.
Violation of the Constitutional Right of all Citizens
In a recent High Court judgment (the High Court is the highest court in Australia) his Honor Mr.
Justice Michael Kirby (dissenting) commented that:
‘Prisoners are human beings. In most cases, they are also citizens of this country, “subjects
of the Queen” and “electors” under the Constitution. They should, so far as the law can
allow, ordinarily have the same rights as all other persons before this Court. They have lost
their liberty whilst they are in prison. However, so far as I am concerned, they have not lost
their human dignity or their right to equality before the law’.
Quoted from Muir v The Queen (2004) HCA 21 at paragraph 25.
This quote underlines the point that criminal offenders lose their liberty when they are sentenced
to imprisonment, but that in a civilized society they do not lose their rights as citizens. In other
words: the imprisonment is the punishment. Our prisons are meant to be places of rehabilitation,
not places where extra punishment is added (my emphasis).
Despite this, the rights of prisoners are breached on a daily basis. For example, both the NSW and
federal governments have stopped some prisoners from voting at elections. This amounts to
"double punishment" because the court has already imprisoned these people and now the
government is punishing them again by taking away their voting rights. This is a blatant violation
of the constitutional right of all citizens to elect those who govern them.
http://www.nswccl.org.au/issues/prisoners/index.php
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09 January 2010
Ajey’s mother visited him. A big parcel with whatever she could collect by begging. I loved that. Two
packets of rice, some pieces of cake, soap, toothpaste, some buns, a bottle of water..... that was all
in the parcel. He opened the two packets of rice. I was asked to eat one. How lovely, Jesus likes to
eat this food. A mother who had collected these by begging gives to Jesus to eat. Won’t He say to
her on the Judgement day, “I was in the prison longing for some tasty rice, and you brought to me”.
And she will ask, ”when were you in the prison that I brought you rice?”
“Yes, I was in Welikada remand prison through brother Ravi and you fed him with what you
begged”.
So all the merit goes to the mother for all her effort to fetch food for the least of His brothers.
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10 January 2010
‘Sudu Wawula’ (white bat) is the betrayer in the L hall. He spies, his eyes are sharp, a drug addict
who cheats others for money and drugs. He brings drugs from the jail from the prisoners as well as
from the guards.
Once he betrayed and a full-scale batten attack fell upon the breakfast queue. It was as if breaking
chairs. Humans versus wood. Screams and shouts, an utter chaos...Officers failed in their attempt
to capture the one who had ‘charas’ and money.
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11 January 2010
In the morning I was sitting on the floor with my eyes fixed on a row of ants passing me – each one
busy engaged in some matter, some carrying food, some talking to the other, it was a long
procession, a complete meditation for me on the Creation – for forty five minutes I was
concentrating on this amazing Creation of the Almighty – He has given us a life, a life to support the
other, to be a leader for everyone, to ensure everyone’s safety and share and care for the other...a
love so tender and great, that these small ants have all the virtues that the man should possess.
‘Thank you Lord, for giving me this moment of meditation in you. The beauty of silence that you
brought through this image – this moving image – a complete silent procession, that you made my
thoughts to do deep into the soul and find peace – an inner peace everyone should acquire
specially in this prison. In Jesus’ name, Amen!’
I thought I must write to my daughter;
Darling Ama,
Here is a nice story about ants. Learn from them. Look at them, observe their behaviour. They can
teach you many things. Small things can make great wonders!
A Lesson from the Ant

You ….. Look at an ant.
Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two.
Nobody has to tell it what to do.
All summer it stores up food;
at harvest it stockpiles provisions.
So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing?
How long before you get out of bed?
A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there,
sit back, take it easy—do you know what comes next?
Just this: ….. A dirt-poor life……12
So be courageous and work hard. Thaththa will come soon. Yes, as soon as possible! Do your studies
well!
Bye!
12
Proverbs 6:6-11 (The Message)
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12 January 2010
Case of a citizen:
“Brother, in our area drugs were distributed by none other than the officer in charge of the Police.
(Let us name him as A). He was OIC crimes. He got drugs from a politician who brought them down
to the country through an illicit way. This OIC got me to sell drugs in the area. Even the narcotic
officers couldn’t do anything against me. I was looked after by the OIC. A powerful man. So I
appointed drug dealers. We were able to sell drugs to young people in the area. The heroin we got
from the OIC was mixed with panadol and various other medicines which we got from the
pharmacies. What was needed was that drowsy effect. School children and youth were our targets.
My daily income was around two hundred thousand rupees. It was good business. I know that with
drugs I have destroyed lives of thousands of people and even whole families have been affected
very badly. Today I am here. I don’t know when I could go home. It was because of A. I fell into this
trouble. But then I continued. I never took drugs but I sold. I was caught with 2 kilograms in my
hand”.
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13 January 2010
I got a smell when passing a room. A strawberry pudding smell....I peeped in. Yes, a red pudding in a
big bowl. There were six chaps sitting round it. I returned to my room and told my room mates that
I saw a pudding. They started laughing at me.
“That’s Corex-D. When they don’t have money to buy drugs they get down the cough syrup mixed
with jelly”.
I was astonished to hear that.
“I too had used Corex, even my children have used it, that’s for cough”, I said.
“Not only Corex but even hair gel is used by these fellows when they want to get intoxicated”, said
one chap.
Doesn’t this show how valueless the human life for them? I fell into a silence that reminded me of
the effort God put to create man.
Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground,
And breathed into his nostrils the breath of life;
And man became a living soul. (Genesis 2.7)
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14 January 2010
“My dear, so what’s the progress?”
“We have launched the mission. By now eight prisoners have been saved. All worship our God
Almighty. They have been answered.”
“Yes, God hears your prayers. He’s happy. Continue the good work”.
“Thank you”.
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15 January 2010
I was praying in the church and I felt that someone came and sat behind me. I looked back. It was
‘Mara’. I touched him. He was lying on the floor. I asked him whether to lean him against the wall.
He said ‘faintish’. I just left him lying and held his hand and prayed. “Jesus, touch this soul. Have
mercy on him. Cure him. Shower your love on him. Pardon all his sins now that he has come to you.
Relieve him of this agony, Amen”.
“I must go to the hospital”, he told me in a faint voice.
I got up, went out to inform the party people who take the prisoners to the hospital and returned. I
sat again near ‘Mara’.
In a little while a party prisoner came and took Mara to the hospital.
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16 January 2010
Sundar’s story
“Brother, you know I was the gang leader in the area. I had a team. We got everything free from the
market. We had weapons and no one came closer to us: even the police. We were asked to carry
out certain jobs the police couldn’t do. It was a power we got from the police OIC. So we enjoyed
that power to the maximum. I was more inclined towards women. I am married. My wife is a
beautiful woman. I have two kids. But I went behind women. I slept with them. I enjoyed life like
that. But now when I think all that I don’t see any value. What dirty things we did in the outside. I
repent for what I did. I know I did something wrong. My wife didn’t know of my behaviour. She still
thinks that I am a good man. I was a Hindu. Now I believe that my only saviour is Jesus. I want to
learn more about Him. I know He will forgive. He pardoned the prostitute whom the people
brought before Him to stone to death. Wo9n’t He pardon me then?”
“Why not? Your faith in Him has already saved you. Now hereafter praise Him for making you a new
man”.
“Yes, I sing and pray. You teach me how to read the Bible. Can you show me a place that talks about
adultery?”
I turned a letter written by Paul.
‘Don’t you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don’t care about God
will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex,
use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don’t qualify as citizens in God’s kingdom. A
number of you know from experience what I’m talking about, for not so long ago you were
on that list. Since then, you’ve been cleaned up and given a fresh start by Jesus, our Master,
our Messiah, and by our God present in us, the Spirit.
Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I
went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.
You know the old saying, “First you eat to live, and then you live to eat”? Well, it may be true
that the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with
food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your
body!
God honored the Master’s body by raising it from the grave. He’ll treat yours with the same
resurrection power. Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same
dignity as the Master’s body. You wouldn’t take the Master’s body off to a whorehouse,
would you? I should hope not.
There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact.
As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with
the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy,
leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a
sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the
sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled
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love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place,
the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please,
squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece
of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people
see God in and through your body’13.
“Oh, thank you, this is enough. It’s burning form inside. Why did I behave like that?”
He was silent.... A moment that Holy Spirit touched him.
13
1 Corinthians 6:9-20 (The Message)
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17 January 2010
A mentally disordered person was brought in and he was hammered by the prison guards and then
put to the front room and closed. When I saw this incident I felt that Sri Lankan prisons do not
provide adequate mental health care service, instead the prison is transformed into a dangerous
and destructive space which debilitates the psychic condition of the mentally ill person. These
mentally ill persons are victimized by other inmates as well. This type of prison environment
exacerbates the symptoms of the mentally ill.
I would say that the prison system acts as an incubator for aggravated sickness and psychic
breakdowns.
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18 January 2010
Five mobile phones were confiscated by the guards. I was wondering in this post-modern world
why can’t prisoners ‘as humans’ use a cell phone so that they can communicate with their dear
ones which really has a psychological value and then also to get prepared for their cases, a right all
prisoners must have since most cases are heard by keeping the prisoner inside not permitting him
the opportunity to prepare his defence. The helplessness of remand prisoners due to lack of
communication facilities is a backwardness in a country where super highways, airports and
harbours are built.
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19 January 2010
Manjula asked me an interesting question.
“Brother, has Jesus ever told to put gala parties and enjoy? What I have seen is that most Christians
are like that. For Christmas, Easter, new year they feast”.
I was a bit puzzled and was wondering what answer Jesus could give to this Buddhist who is
inquisitive.
It quickly came to my mind that in Romans 14.17 a clear answer is given.
“Is there an answer for this question?”, he inquired.
“Oh, yes, it is said like this: ‘For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink’”.
“So if that is the case, why don’t the Christian people practice that truth?”
“They are still the slaves of the world. They are engaged in sin. There are some enlightening words
which I like to read from the Bible:
For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful
lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred
from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. (1 Tim. 6.7-10)
These words are a good warning for everyone, aren’t they? As you say it is necessary for everyone
to live in the light of Jesus.
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20 January 2010
Bala was telling a story after lunch.
“Once upon a time there was a chest in a mansion which was filled with beans. One day a bird came
and sat on this chest. She saw the beans and thought of picking one. So she took a bean and went
to a nearby village where a poor woman lives in a poor house and left the bean in a corner....again
on another day she took another bean and left it there....on the third day she took another bean
and left it in the poor woman’s house....slowly again she opened the chest and took another
bean....on the sixth day......”
I got up at 4.00 p.m. I had fallen asleep while Sam was telling the story. In a dream-like state I asked
the others what happened to the beans and they started laughing. A story that will never
end....endless collection of beans, each day a single bean, how long will it take to that poor bird...?
Will she live to empty that chest....? Good humour! Good for the psyche! Good to kill time!
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21 January 2010
An interesting character – loku nanda (big aunty), a complete feminine type with long hair tied and
the sarong worn to the chest. His voice, too, is effeminate. He sells ganja (cannabis) and more than
that he’s a superb ‘bunker’ as they say. He could hide five mobile phones in his arse hole and God
knows how he does that! This happens when prison guards come for search operations and luku
nanda’s duty is to hide the mobile phones. When the prisoners come to know that there would be a
search they go running to him. For each phone he charges five hundred rupees. I was wondering
what these people have done to the body, the Temple of God!
If any man defile the temple of God,
Him shall God destroy;
For the temple of God is holy,
Which temple ye are. (1 Cor. 3.17)
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22 January 2010
Sethu came to the room in the night, completely upset.
“Brother, tomorrow is my case. For the past one year I couldn’t go out. I was not given bail, twice
the motions were rejected. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow”.
“Don’t worry, you came to you brother and your matter is answered. Have faith in Jesus. Tomorrow
He will answer you. He will be there with you in courts”.
I saw his eyes gleaming in happiness. Hope has crept into him.
“Thank you brother, pray for me”.
“Of course, be patient. The faith you have in Jesus has already answered. Now go and sleep well”.
He left the room in great relief and confidence.
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23 January 2010
After evening prayers I was having a chat with Prabhu in my room. Suddenly the door was opened
and there crept in Sethu. He hugged me.
“What’s all this?”
“You know, Jesus answered me. After one year in the remand I got bail. Thank you for your prayers.
This week I can go home. When I go out I will go to the church. I will take my wife and children also.
They are Muslims. I will tell them how Jesus helped me after one year”, his eyes were filled with
joy.
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24 January 2010
“Brother, I used to go to the church and touch the statues and pray. Someone told me it’s wrong.
But everybody does that. What do you say?” This question was posed to me when Amal came for
prayers.
“You know, Satan has put you in trouble. He has made you to turn your face away from god. Jesus
tells ‘worship your creator, Almighty God’. Now Satan has distracted you. What can the statues do?
They are either clay or wood. This is the blindness most Christians have. This is the religiosity they
have but our unseen God dislikes this behaviour. How can there be any other who could help you
other than Lord God. All statues are man-made. Give up walking with Satan. Let’s read Isaiah 44.9-
20 to understand the truth”.
‘All who fashion idols are nothing, and the things they delight in do not profit. Their
witnesses neither see nor know that they may be put to shame. Who fashions a god or casts
an idol that is profitable for nothing? Behold, all his companions shall be put to shame, and
the craftsmen are only human. Let them all assemble, let them stand forth. They shall be
terrified; they shall be put to shame together.
The ironsmith takes a cutting tool and works it over the coals. He fashions it with hammers
and works it with his strong arm. He becomes hungry, and his strength fails; he drinks no
water and is faint. The carpenter stretches a line; he marks it out with a pencil. He shapes it
with planes and marks it with a compass. He shapes it into the figure of a man, with the
beauty of a man, to dwell in a house. He cuts down cedars, or he chooses a cypress tree or
an oak and lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest. He plants a cedar and the rain
nourishes it. Then it becomes fuel for a man. He takes a part of it and warms himself; he
kindles a fire and bakes bread. Also he makes a god and worships it; he makes it an idol and
falls down before it. Half of it he burns in the fire. Over the half he eats meat; he roasts it and
is satisfied. Also he warms himself and says, “Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!” And the
rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it. He prays to it and
says, “Deliver me, for you are my god!”
They know not, nor do they discern, for he has shut their eyes, so that they cannot see, and
their hearts, so that they cannot understand. No one considers, nor is there knowledge or
discernment to say, “Half of it I burned in the fire; I also baked bread on its coals; I roasted
meat and have eaten. And shall I make the rest of it an abomination? Shall I fall down before
a block of wood?” He feeds on ashes; a deluded heart has led him astray, and he cannot
deliver himself or say, “Is there not a lie in my right hand?”
“This type of worshiping is seen all over our country. Every corner there is some statue. Not only
Christians but also Buddhists and Hindus are engaged in idol worshiping in a similar manner. Stop
this act right now”.
Who sees Me by form,

Who seeks Me in sound,
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Perverted are his footsteps upon the Way;

For he cannot perceive the Tathagata.
Buddhism. Diamond Sutra 26
Fools misjudge me when I take

a human form,
Because they do not know my supreme
state as Lord of Beings.
Unconscious, they fall prey to a beguiling nature
such as belongs to ogres and demons,
For their hopes [ascribing to God human motives] are vain, and so
are their rituals and their search for wisdom.
Hinduism. Bhagavad Gita 9.11-12
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25 January 2010
Someone visited me.
“Why do you pray God? Give up”.
“That is my Lord God. I worship only my God. Go away!”
I chased away Satan.
“When you are strengthened in Jesus and engaged in the mission of building God’s kingdom these
evil forces automatically try to put pressure on you and disturb you. Let’s fight back in the name of
Jesus”, said an elderly prisoner while praying in the church.
The whole congregation in the L hall prayed for me.
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26th January 2010
Case of a citizen:
“Brother, when I tell you that priests run brothels will you believe me? But this monk (I name him
as X), a famous character, a preacher in the area had close contacts with politician Y. They got down
heroin from a foreign country. I heard it was Mexico. I am not sure of the country. I was asked to be
the distributor. X ran a brothel in the temple itself. So that was the point from where I contacted
people and sold drugs. Drugs and the brothel brought good income. I was actually jobless and when
I told X about finding a job it was he who first appointed me to overseer the brothel and then later
introduced me to Y who visited the brothel. So it was a fortune for me when big money came to my
hand. But now there is no one for me. X didn’t come to see me. I am helpless”.
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27 January 2010
This story which was told by an inmate makes me to think how lonely these people are. In their
lives they have nothing left but thoughts of agony and remorse.
“For the past nine years I am in this remand. Day by day things get worse for me. I have tried killing
myself thousand times but I failed. Because I am scared that I will live after attempting suicide. I
could tear a bed sheet and tie round my neck and hang myself from the railing in the second floor.
Or I could just jump down to the concrete from the second floor. I don’t know, everything is difficult
for me. I can’t go on living like this. I am sick of life. They don’t finish my case. They still have not
taken it for trial either. They say reports have not come. I think about home. Then I start vomiting. I
want to go home...! But who will send me? They are going to send me to hell...! I am in my lonely
world now. I don’t want to talk to anyone either. What is there to talk....? All have the same
problem....My children, my wife....I don’t know where they are....Where am I to return to now....?
Who cares for me.... I am a soulless character. Why is it that people are made to be like this? This is
madness....they have driven us mad.... Don’t you think this place is worse than a mental asylum? All
are mad.... This is a place where mad people are produced....I am also a product of such
madness...otherwise I won’t talk to you like this....Only God could answer me...but that is also when
I go to the other world....this loneliness is hell. Yes, I am there, in fire, burning inside me....I will die
in one of these days...who cares!”
This is the experience of a feeling of being disconnected from the world around them. Also these
long periods of stay in the remand make them to experience depression, despair, anxiety, rage,
claustrophobia, hallucinations, problems with impulse control, and/or an impaired ability to think,
concentrate, or remember. Also this isolation can cause impaired vision and hearing... tinnitus
[(ringing in the ears)], weakening of the immune system, and aggressive behavior in prisoners.
There could be many other sexual problems too that could occur due to this loneliness.
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28 January 2010
“Good Morning, Master”, I received this greeting every morning from one person when I started
going to the tank to have a bath for the couple of weeks.
A man with the right leg amputated, going in crutches.
“I am a Hindu”, he came one day to my room and started chatting with me. “You are doing a great
service. These young people who were drug addicts are now with you. Every body is talking about
you service. You have been sent by God”.
“Oh, thank you...thank you”, I was happy of the compliments I received that day.
“God give me more strength. Work in me. Holy Spirit guide me, in the mane of Jesus, Amen”, I
silently prayed.
“You know brother”, he once again opened his talk. “These children have gone astray. There was no
one to guide them. As you see there are nearly eight hundred chaps consuming narcotics out of the
nine hundred. They need some one to save them... To talk to them. They sometimes have got used
to drugs only when they came here because the worries they have. Drugs make them to forget
themselves. Their families are shattered. Wives have gone with other men. There are cases where
the guards have relationships with these women. So, these people only need money or drugs, they
can live here forgetting the world. Above all this, just think about their children. Completely ruined
lives. They come through courts, they are being made culprits for some reason, but are their dear
ones deserve such victimization – hunger and poverty has struck them badly. Only when you talk
with them you will learn this truth. Your service here has saved several young chaps. Continue the
work. You have shouldered a heavy responsibility. Do it. We all wish you good luck”.
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29 January 2010
Two days back my wife brought a baby cream to apply. The rash disappeared.
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30 January 2010
Ramesh came crying to the room.
“Brother, my daughter has been raped. My bother had cut the fellow to pieces. My wife is crying.
The whole house is in hell. My little child!”
He broke down. He couldn’t control himself....I made him to sit.
“Now where is your child?”
“She’s in the hospital. My wife is with her. She’s the one who called me. She can’t bear this. Child’s
life is ruined”.
“I understand. Now calm yourself. Even if you worry, too much, you can’t do anything here. We can
do one thing. And we must do that. We must pray for your daughter, wife and brother. More than
that what about that man?”
“Now he’s in the hospital. Seriously cut”.
“We should ask Jesus to touch him. He should recover. All should be saved”.
“I understand”.
“We must not let our emotions to control us in these circumstances. Be calm”.
Ramesh was silent. Helplessness has overcome him. It is visible in his face. ....Just helplessness.
Blankness...that nothing could be done in the prison. He is confined. I was expecting a conscious
reply.
“I understand...we cannot do anything other than praying...we are here, confined”.
“You are right. The only thing we can do is to handover everything to Him. You do not need to be
shaky....have faith....there’s nothing for you to get scared of....see what God says: ‘Do not fear; only
believe, and she will be well. 14’ That’s what happened to everyone who went behind Jesus. They
were answered”.
Ramesh was assured... A self-assurance is important for those who are in despair. Because God’s
love is so strong that no man can believe that He has answered immediately.
‘Forget about what’s happened;

don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?’15
14
Luke 8.50
15
Isaiah 43.18-19
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31 January 2010
While walking to the church I met a prisoner to whom we prayed. He was very upset when he came
for prayers because he tho9ught he will get condemned.
“I got seven years”.
“Thank God”, I uttered, so God saved him. “See how God looked at you”.
“Yes, I was scared”.
In fact, this man had loose motion continuously for more than twenty times thinking that he would
get condemned but now he is saved.
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Whosoever shall humble himself as this little child,
the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle,
than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
All things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s;
and unto God the things that are God’s.
Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul,
and with all thy mind.
Whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased;
and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.
He that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.
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01 February 2010
A discussion arose today on ‘why humans came into being?’ A question that many philosophers
have answered in many angles. The materialists have a very easy answer – ‘its nature, a natural
process’. Our friends here, too, had this answer. Some said it was to eat, drink and to have children.
These answers look very narrow as the human thinking is so limited and they are unable to perceive
life beyond eyesight. There has to be a reason for every human to come to this earth. A kind of
responsibility is entrusted to us by a higher power. A short life span – maximum sixty or seventy
years is a period to accomplish a task given. Do we realize this truth? I have read in many books ‘on
reincarnation’ that spirits or consciousness travels to this earth to experience life in different styles
– suffering, happiness, pain, pleasure. Again these hypnotic or spiritual readings do not touch on
the divine quality or meaning of life. There is something missing in all these answers – it is the
centric point – Jesus.
‘To the faithful you show yourself faithful;

to those with integrity you show integrity.
To the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the wicked you show yourself hostile.
You rescue the humble,
but you humiliate the proud.
You light a lamp for me.
The LORD, my God, lights up my darkness.
In your strength I can crush an army;
with my God I can scale any wall.
God’s way is perfect.

All the LORD’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
For who is God except the LORD?
Who but our God is a solid rock?
God arms me with strength,
and he makes my way perfect’16.
The above Word denotes that we are here to experience being in God. To live as Jesus did. He lived
to challenge the existing conditions. It is the meaning of becoming a human. Not to be passive but
to be alive, active, face moments of tension through divine wisdom. To know God and to walk with
him. Development of a matured consciousness to reach God. So our life becomes a life lived in
Jesus.
16
Psalm 18:25-32 (New Living Translation)
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02 February 2010
It was so interesting to learn about Brother Raja Wijekoon, a one time terror in the South. He was
better or more notoriously known as Karapitiya Raja, one of the toughest and deadliest thugs in the
area. He was in Welikada prison and now a great preacher of the Holy word and a rehabilitator of
‘lost sheep’. Two persons related to me about Brother Raja who was very close to him. According to
them, Brother Raja had been in the cell and while he was in Mahara he had been with ‘Cheena’ ( a
hard-core terror- Keragala Sirisena). These two had been cell-mates and one day Cheena’s wife had
brought a lunch parcel of which half had been passed to Raja. Raja had eaten the rice and with little
light that flows into the cell had read the piece of newspaper from which the parcel was wrapped. It
was that piece of paper that had transformed Raja. It had contained amidst all the worldly news
stories news from God in an unimportant place:”Those who are heavy-lade come unto me, I will
give you rest”. God not only relieved him but gave him a mission to accomplish. As the story goes
there had been many people behind him for this elevation and among them let me mention the
name of Rev. Fr. Lakshman Rieris.
As I came to know this one-time hardcore prisoner is now a life member of the Prison Welfare
Association and key figure in the movement to transform retributive justice into restorative justice.
‘…many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first’17.
17
Matthew 19.30
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rd
03 February2010
Rumi came in the morning to the tank when I went for a bath.
“Brother, I need to talk with you something important. You know, I was here for the past six
months. I am married. But now I face a problem”.
“So out with it”, I was anxious to know what he has to say.
“Don’t misunderstand me. Every night I ejaculate. Tell me; is it because of a sickness? I just can’t
control this. The first few weeks I used to masturbate. But then this started happening”.
“I understand. It is your imagination that you aroused at the beginning and automatically your
hormones worked in the nights. This we call nocturnal emissions. And you as a married person must
know that this is bad for the body. It weakens you”.
“You are right. Every morning I feel weak”.
”It is because you lose your energy. This food you eat here does not give you the necessary energy.
This food is watery and no salt in them. So what energy you get. It is the energy you have in you
that goes out. Make sure that you be conscious of this. In the prison there is no one to advice you.
So you need to be you own doctor. Go for thoughts that raises you spiritual energy”.
“What do you mean”.
“We know how your body is consumed. We cannot let your body go astray anymore. It is thinking
or imagination that manipulates the body. So let’s find alternatives in your thinking. What you have
is a conflict between thoughts and body. Let me start with the question of masturbation. Why did
you masturbate?”
He was silent for a little while and then said, “I was thinking about my wife. I imagined the sexual
play I had with her. I enjoyed thinking about that and rubbed my penis”.
“So it was that enjoyment that caused you to masturbate”.
“Yes, for weeks I masturbated”.
“Pleasure is what you have sought. So we need to agree that the sexual thoughts, desires, arousal
and even lust precede the need to masturbate. Once orgasm occurs, all of that is gone. Actually, it
is God who created sex, and that sex is good. Therefore, sexual thoughts are not bad. But since you
are confined in this prison, you cannot have thoughts of sex …. You cannot think having sex with
your wife….because she’s not here….we need to accept the reality. You continued with
masturbation and became addictive. It became a habit that’s hard to break. And then it turned to
involuntary ejaculation. Everything depends on your brain. Even though you don’t masturbate your
hormones work. Your imagination works in the night...your subconscious sees the sexual act...so
your brain experiences a release of chemicals called endorphins and encephalin. This is the highest
rush in the human body. It is the same area cocaine or heroin affects; this is why cocaine is so
addicting. Now the only way out is to think and be with a person who had no indulgences in sex”.
“Who is that?”
“Jesus”.
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“How can I be with him?”
“Pray…pray…pray. Build a closer relationship with God. Think good of your family. Ask God to give
all the happiness you need through prayers and Bible readings. I am sure you will have a new life
with Jesus. Bible tells like this: ‘that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that
is holy and honorable…’ (1 Thessalonians 4:4). What we actually need is a spiritual relief. We are all
bound in lust. A lust that we cannot fulfill easily. So it is this lust that we should give up. Our
attachment to lust has brought sickness and sorrow. Pointless suffering as the Bible explains. We
lose sensitivity towards the beauty and strength of our body when we engage in lustful acts. – In
the Bible it says ‘having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to
indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more’ (Ephesians 4:19). So now let’s be
sensitive of how Jesus worked. Don’t forget that in his youth He had many women around him but
He never had sensual feelings towards them. He worked to raise their lives. He prayed and helped
them. He taught them. He taught about life. He showed how suffering could wipe out from your
life. He wants all of us to love and care for others. Here in the prison we can listen, talk and do Bible
studies. Jesus continuously engaged in removing all bad forces from the people. If you are good in
singing I suggest you learn hymns so that you can sing during our prayer sessions. Praising God
through songs would bring you immense happiness”.
“That’s a good idea. I am not a good singer but your idea makes me to think of something
different”.
“Yes, we all have to be different. Jesus was different. Buddha was different. They changed people.
Buddha said: ‘All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What
we think we become’. So we need to be prepared for such a change. Such preparedness will bring
amazing results to our lives. We will be happy and healthy”.
“Oh yes, I want to be a changed man”.
The discussion took a long time and both lost the opportunity of having a bath!
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Rajneesh Osho on Lust and Love
1. Lust is the lowest form of sex energy; love, the highest form. Unless your lust becomes love
you will be missing your goal.
2. Lust is the same energy as love; the difference is only of direction. Lust moves downwards,
love has started the uphill task. Lust is like roots of a tree, love is like wings of a bird — but
the energy is the same. All energy is the same. Energy as such is neutral. Unless you become
conscious about it you cannot be creative. And the downhill movement is very destructive:
you are simply dissipating yourself. You are not getting any integration through it — what
Gurdjieff used to call crystallization.
3. When lust is transformed and you enter into the city of love, you enter unattached.
Remember, that is their definition of love. If love has attachment in it, it is lust, If love has no
attachment in it, only then is it not lust. When you are in lust you are not really thinking of
the other, thinking of your beloved or lover. You are simply using the other for your own
ends. And of course, attachment is bound to be there, because you would like to possess
him, and you would like to possess him or her forever. Because tomorrow also you may
need, the day after tomorrow also you may need. You need a lover and you want to possess
him.
4. This is compassion — when the other becomes more valuable than you. This is love — when
you can sacrifice yourself for the other. When you become the means and the other
becomes the end, this is love. When you are the end and the other is used as a means, this
is lust. Lust is always cunning and love is always compassionate.
5. When love is unconscious it is only lust and nothing else — a beautiful name for an ugly
thing. When love is conscious, only then it is love. But how many people are conscious?
When love is meditative, only then it is love.
6. Love is more aesthetic; lust is almost non-aesthetic. Lust is ugly, and you can observe it.
When somebody looks at you with lust in his eyes, have you watched the face? — it
becomes ugly. Even a beautiful face becomes ugly when lust is there in the eyes. And just
the opposite also happens: even an ugly face becomes beautiful when there is love in the
eyes. Love in the eyes gives a totally different color to the face; a different aura arises. Lust
gives a black aura, a very evilish aura around you. To look at somebody with lust is ugly. It is
not the search for beauty.
7. LUST is when you are unconscious. You see a woman or a man and you fall in love, and you
don’t know why; sometimes even against yourself, in spite of yourself. People come and say
to me, “What can we do? We are helpless; love has happened.” This love is not the love of
the Baul; this is lust. What a Baul calls lust is this: unconscious love is lust. Then it flows
downwards. Then it moves through the sex center into the world again. Upwards lust is
love, but then it is conscious. Consciousness is the staircase: step by step you become more
and more conscious. Whatsoever you do, you do it with full consciousness — even walking,
eating, going to bed, talking, listening — small things of life, but you do them with
consciousness. And when you are in love, you are in love with full consciousness. It is not
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against you. It is not that you are possessed; it is not that you are a victim; it is not that you
are being pulled by somebody like a magnet. No, you are moving on your own.
8. Man is unconscious. You go on doing things, not knowing why. You go on doing things you
could not do if you were even a little conscious. What we are doing with our life is just
sleeping through it. Consciousness has to be evolved. The more consciousness you have, the
more energy starts flowing upwards on its own accord. Consciousness is the clue, the key,
the master key. Lust becomes love through consciousness, so love cannot be an unconscious
thing.
9. Lust is greed, lust is attachment, lust is possessiveness. Love needs no possession, love
knows no attachment, because love is not greed. Love is a gift. It is a sharing. You have
found something; your heart is full, your fruits are ripe. You hanker that somebody should
come and share. It is unconditional; who shares does not matter. But you are so full of it
that you would like to be unburdened — as when clouds are full of rainwater, they rain.
Sometimes they rain in a forest, sometimes they rain on a hill, sometimes they rain in a
desert, but they rain. The fact of where they rain is irrelevant. They are so full they have to
rain. A lover is so full he becomes a cloud, full of love water; he has to rain. That raining is
spontaneous.
10. CHOOSE love; bring love out of lust. Let your life be a life of alertness, so whatsoever you do
is done in such awareness that only that which is valuable is chosen, and the valueless is left.
The whole life is nothing but a great effort to choose life against death, to choose love
instead of lust, to choose God instead of the world, to choose beauty, good, truth, instead
of falsities.
11. Love is rising sun, lust is the dark night of the soul.
12. A man who lives through lust lives absolutely unconsciously. Whatsoever he is going to do is
going to be wrong. Whatsoever he is going to say and see is going to be wrong. He can’t see,
he is blind. He can’t hear, he is deaf. Nothing makes people more ugly and animal like than
lust.
13. You come to me with a thousand and one problems, but my answer is always the same. If
you come with anger I say be aware of it, if you come with greed I say be aware of it, if you
come with lust I say be aware of it — because awareness cuts the very root. What is the
root? Unawareness is the root.
14. Love ordinarily is not love, it is lust. And lust is bound to feel hurt, because to desire
somebody as an object is to offend. It is an insult, it is violent. When you move with lust
towards somebody, how long can you pretend it is love? Something which is superficial will
look like love, but scratch a little bit and hidden behind it is sheer lust. Lust is animalistic. To
look at anybody with lust is to insult, humiliate, is to reduce the other person to a thing, to a
commodity. No person ever likes to be used; that’s the most ugly thing you can do to
anybody. No person is a commodity; no person is a means towards any end.
15. This is the difference between lust and love. Lust uses the other person to fulfill some of
your desires. The other is only used, and when the use is complete you can throw the other
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person away. It has no more use to you; its function is fulfilled. This is the greatest immoral
act in existence: using the other as a means.
16. Just watch your life and you will find it: one minute of anger and how many minutes of
guilt? One minute of lust and how many minutes of guilt, or how many hours, or how many
days?
17. Buddha says: Beware of lust. Love is beautiful, but lust is just fire. It burns you and burns you
badly. It wounds you.
18. Lust is madness, lust is fire, lust is poison. It keeps people blind to the truth. It keeps them
foolish, it keeps them unaware, it keeps them drunk.
19. A few distinctions have to be made: when Buddha says “sensuousness” he does not mean
sensitivity. In fact, a sensuous person is a gross person; the sensitive person is subtle.
Sensitiveness is beautiful, sensuousness is ugly. Love is beautiful, lust is ugly. Love is
sensitivity, lust is sensuousness. Love gives what you have, lust tries to snatch away
something from the other. The sensuous person exploits the other, and the sensitive person
shares himself with the other. Be sensitive but don’t be sensuous. Be loving but get out of
lust. Lust and sensuousness are animal; love and sensitivity are human.
20. At the lowest when love is just lust, physiological, it is an exploitation of the other, and it is
using the other as a means. Soon it is finished. Once you have exploited the woman or the
man you lose interest; the interest was only for the moment. The moment the woman is
well-known to you you are finished with her. You have used the other human being as a
means — which is ugly, which is immoral. To use another human being as a means is the
most immoral act in existence, because each human being is an end unto himself.
21. Beware of lust, unconscious sexuality. When sex becomes conscious it has a totally different
flavor. It becomes tantra, it is no longer sex. When sex becomes conscious it is love, it is no
longer lust. Love brings freedom, and lust simply creates prisons for you.
http://www.oshoquotes.net/category/osho-quotes-on-lust/
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04 February 2010
I was walking up and down in the sun when three others were sitting under the water tank and
discussing about the philosophy of Buddha. I overheard what they were talking and was very much
interested in joining them. I got close to them, smiled and listened.
“Master, can you tell us something about Jesus?”
That was a surprising request. My mind instantly started looking for a better approach.
“It’s interesting to talk on Buddha and Jesus”, I said. “Buddha discussed about anithya
(impernance), dukka (sorrow) and 99umin99te (selflessness) and in the same manner Jesus
discussed life. Our life is impermanent Jesus says. He says, ‘Stop storing up treasures for
yourselves!18’ We all lose what we have. There is nothing we can retain permanently. Even we
cannot secure ourselves. So why do we struggle for all the wealth and treasure? There can be many
reasons: we look for material security. With the material possessions and wealth we think that we
are successful in our lives. We dress, drive, dine, and decorate well. With wealth and material
success, we believe that we have the power to get and be what we want and also have control over
our own fate and over other people. With wealth we think that we can be our own “god” and not
rely on anyone else. And lastly, with wealth we can indulge in every fantasy, whether it is the exotic
vacation, the luxurious wedding, or the finest dining. At this juncture there is a warning from Jesus.
He says that the thieves will enter and rob everything you have. Yes, thieves are there…Death or
Mara can take everything from you. People collect everything not knowing of this fact. They forget
that the pleasure they seek is impermanent. So the moment you lose your material wealth you feel
dukka. Because leaving all you accumulated makes you sad. Jesus told a young chap to leave
everything and come but that fellow failed to do so19. The young man felt sad. So wealth brings
sorrow; pleasure turns to sorrow, happiness turns to sorrow. We should be conscious of this.
Attachment or lust destroys our path to salvation. Our soul reaches for worldly pleasure. We need
to detach ourselves. We need to remind ourselves that even ‘I do not belong to myself’.
Renunciation is important in our lives. We should be selfless not selfish. Our attachments are the
selfishness and greediness we have. This is challenging: to give up our attachment. Think of giving
up ones family! Buddha did it and Jesus, too, gave up his life. That is selflessness. When we become
selfless we are free of worries. That is the path to Nirvana or heaven. Nirvana is nothing but the
18
Matthew 6.19
19
Matthew 19.21-22
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heavenly bliss. That is why Jesus calls us to bear the cross and follow him 20. Sensitivity towards this
truth is called enlightenment. Buddha tells like this:
Whose minds are well perfected in the Factors of Enlightenment, who,

without clinging, delight in the giving up of grasping, they, the
corruption-free, shining ones, have attained Nibbana even in this world 21.
And Jesus invites us to be perfect, as our heavenly Father is perfect 22.
In Bhagavad Gita23 of the Hindus it is stated like this:
The Supreme Reality stands revealed in the consciousness of those who have conquered
themselves. They live in peace, alike in cold and heat, pleasure and pain, praise and blame.
They are completely filled by spiritual wisdom and have realized the Self. Having conquered
their senses, they have climbed to the summit of human consciousness. To such people a
clod of dirt, a stone, and gold are the same. They are equally disposed to family, enemies,
and friends, to those who support them and those who are hostile, to the good and the evil
alike. Because they are impartial, they rise to great heights.
This is the truth taught in all religions. There is a wonderful story in the Bible which tells what
happened to a couple that pretended that they have selflessly given up everything24. They tried to
cheat God. Those days the Christian believers did not consider their possessions to be their own,
but had all things in common. This particular couple – Ananias and Sapphira also sold their land, but
withheld a portion of the sales, having decided that they did not wish to give it all to the common
purse. Ananias presented his donation and claimed that it was the entire amount. Apostle Peter
replied, “Why is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit?” Peter
pointed out that Ananias was in control of the money and could give or keep it as he saw fit, but
that he had withheld it from Peter and lied about it, and stated that Ananias had not only lied to
Peter, but also to God. Ananias died on the spot, and as a result, everyone who heard the tale
became afraid. Three hours later, his wife told the same lie and suffered the same fate. So it is their
greed that caused them to die. People become dead when they are selfish; their souls are dead;
20
Matthew 16.24-25
21
Dhammapada 89
22
Matthew 5.48
23
6.7-9
24
Acts 5.1-11
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they are physically dead; they fall ill and they are worried and helpless. We should not be dead
people. We live in Jesus. That is why Jesus tells us, ‘Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead’25.
So we should understand that our salvation rests with a Living God 26: a Universal Energy: an energy
that calls our souls to purify our thoughts. Cleaning our inner selves is nothing but reaching
Niravana or Heaven. We should repent for every wrong thing we have committed; we should
abstain from sinning; we should love our enemies; we should help the poor, the marginalized, the
forgotten, the cornered, the sick; we should have unconditional love: a love that is compassionate,
that does not demand anything in return as God loves us unconditionally.
I know that in Buddhism there is no concept of God but the perfect God of the Christian connotes
meththa (loving kindness), muditha (unselfish joy), karuna (compassionate action) and upekka
(equanimity). So these are the values or the universal energies that we need to gain through the
teaching of Jesus.
25
Matthew 8:22
26
Matthew 22:32
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05 February 2010
According to the information I gathered Welikada, Bogambara and Mahara prisons are over
125 years old. The Multi storeyed buildings made of lime, sand and bricks and wooden
floors have long outlived their usefulness. These dilapidated buildings are not in a fit state
for human occupation. These prisons were built to house the prisoners of the 19th century.
Overcrowding of remand prisoners has caused severe pressure and it does not only mean a
problem of space but a problem regarding water, lavatory facilities, recreation and other
equipment. Facilities meant for 100 prisoners have to be utilized by over 300.
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06 February 2010
Chaminda came crying to the room. A hardcore murderer. He couldn’t control himself.
“Brother, my mother is seriously ill. She has been admitted to the hospital. They said she’s going to
die”.
“Don’t worry friend, Jesus answered you. She’s not going to die. Jesus has already saved your
mother. And it is to the glory of Him. It is your faith that that Jesus answered”.
“Dear Jesus, touch our sister in the hospital. Take her under the comforting wings of the Holy Spirit.
Bring peace to our brothr Chaminda. As Prophet Isaiah says in 53.4, ‘Surely he has borne our
infirmities and carried our diseases…’ Thank you Jesus for giving rest to those who are heavy-laden,
Amen”.
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07 February 2010
We prayed continuously to Chaminda’s mother.
Suren came in the night. I was getting ready to sleep.
“Come, sit down”, I said.
“Father (another manner of addressing me), I need to come for prayers. I was with a priest for a
long time. He looked after me. I was a drug addict and the home people couldn’t do anything. They
took me to the priest but I didn’t want to listen to anyone. I took to drugs heavily. Then one day
home people caught me, tied with a rope and brought to the church. The priest had a place where
drug addicts were tied and kept till they get over the sickness. But I broke away in the night. I went
and hid myself somewhere in Homagama. But I got caught to the police. They brought me here to
the prison. I am thirty years old. I have four kids, all girls. My wife had gone with another man. Only
recently I came to know that. The two elder children are with my father. The other two are with
her. I am worried about the two kids who are with the woman. When I go out I will kill her. I want
to finish her”.
“Why worry about her? She is not going to stay with you eternally...? One day both of you will have
to depart from each other. So you don’t have to worry now”.
“Yes, I know”. A tone of change was visible.
“And I think the most important thing is to see that your children grow and receive good education.
When you go out you can look after them. Now that your father is doing that job you can release
him of the burden when you go. You can do a job and look after the kids. When they grow they will
do good jobs. And then you can be happy. You have achieved life”.
“Yes....”
“Now do you understand, our hastiness only brings negative results? They will not help you.
Patience and Hope are the most important. God loves you, that’s why you opened yourself today”.
“In fact for all these two years, I was living in anger. Brother, now I feel that you are there and I am
relieved. I must actually go out and lead a good life”
“Good”.
We were talking till midnight.
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08 February 2010
Around 1.30 a.m. I got up. I had the urge of walking in the upper floors. It was dark. Here and there
dim light falls. People sleep in the borders and I carefully kept my legs and moved forward. Climbed
the iron stairway to the first floor. I nearly tripped as I couldn’t see the steps. A pigeon sent a heap
of dirt on me. Oooh, the smell of it! Even these birds have fallen sick after eating all this junk food, I
thought. I climbed and came to the second floor. Oh, luckily I didn’t trample a single fellow. I moved
slowly. Here and there comes a snoring sound. I could see four fellows sitting in a circle enjoying a
shot of heroine. They had a lamp lighted near them. Their heads were drooping down. I passed
them. A wavy shadow I could see in a place. My heavens, two naked male bodies entangled. They
hug each other, enjoying the ‘pleasure’. How could I go passing them. I looked at the other end of
the first floor. My gosh, another couple kissing each other, tightly attached to their bodies, naked
and draws a picture I have never seen in my life. Am I to write a verse on this...? I moved my eyes to
the ground floor and gosh, again, in the toilet another couple. What’s this? Oh, they are playing
with their genitals. God, what is this that you show me? Is this the reality? Gays everywhere! Is this
a place where man meets man? Prison, a place to promote homosexuality!? I was gazing at them.
All their actions were observed. I could write another ‘Kamasuthra’. Could this be another way of
manifesting human sexuality as the penal system works against normality and naturality.
Institutional repression of heterosexuality thus transformed into homosexuality within the confined
space.
The prison inmates are being attracted to those of the same sex primarily due to long sexual
deprivation and over-congestion, whereby heat radiates between them.
They have oral and anal sex.
The prison space is a homosexual space. The men and women have been turned into gays and
lesbians by the crimino-legal system which is masculine and heterosexual. In Sri Lanka
homosexuality is banned by law but the legal system unequivocally has accepted in creating
homosexual spaces. A space that challenges the heterosexual ‘outside’.
I know that Freud took homosexual feelings as normal as he believed that human beings were
intrinsically bisexual.
For neo-freudians homosexuality is not from an intrinsic bisexuality, but that same-sex attractions,
like hysterical symptoms, had their roots in neurotic conflict.
Highly respectable gays of ancient and modern times:
Plato, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Oscar Wilde.
Plutarch wrote, “No sensible person can imagine that the sexes differ in matters of love as they do
in matters of clothing. The intelligent lover of beauty will be attracted to beauty in whichever
gender he finds it.”
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What the Bible says:
Leviticus 18:22 – “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.”
Leviticus 20:13 – “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what
is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”
Romans 1:26-27 – “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women
exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural
relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts
with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.”
What Buddhism has to say:
Generally speaking Lord Buddha did not say anything specifically about homosexuality because it
has never been an issue, however this is not to say that that there was no homosexual activity in the
time of the Lord Buddha. The Tripitaka (Buddhist scripts) refers to incidents of homosexuality and
transexuality. Specifically the Tripitaka highlights the case of a bhikku (monk) Wakkali who became
a monk purely because he was physically attracted to how handsome Lord Buddha was. The
Tripitaka also highlights a transsexual incident in which a married man with children was physically
attracted to a monk, following this the man underwent metamorphosis and became a female and
eventually married a man. Another section of Tripitaka refers to an incident where a novice monk
masterbated a high ordained monk. While Buddhism itself makes no moral claim on any form of
sexual behavior, regardless of orientation, the vinaya (monastic rules) for monks states that monks
are not allowed to enter their sex organ into bodily orifices (vagina, mouth or anus). But it makes
no distinction between homosexual or heterosexual sex. Essentially monks are expected to be
celibate so they cannot engage in sex with anyone, including themselves. However it is important to
note that the vinaya apply only to monks, there is nothing in the scripts that extend these rules to
lay Buddhists.
By Bellanvila Sudaththa Thero and Cecil J. Dunne27
27
http://www.groundviews.org/2007/08/28/homosexuality-buddhism-and-sri-lankan-society/#more-565
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09 February 2010
Selvaraj came to the room.
“Brother, for five years I’m in this remand. I prayed God. He has not answered. When you told me
first to come I was not interested because I went to the church, prayed but nothing happened. He
didn’t answer me. So I gave him up. But today something told me to come to you”.
“Good. First thing is you must have faith in Him. You can’t be wavy. He has already answered your
prayers. But in your urgency you cannot see the answer. He planned you even before you came to
this world. So do you think He doesn’t know about you: What you think and what you do? No, it’s a
mistake we all do. The plan is in action. He knows that you need to go out but there is a time for
Him to take you out”.
“When?”
“My friend, you are living here. You are not dead. You have friends here and you get your food. So
what urgency is there to go out? For God, your urgency is not important. Do you know the story of
Lazarus? His two sisters came to Jesus when Lazarus was fatally ill. But what did Jesus do? He didn’t
shake himself. He stayed for two days and then only went to see Lazarus. Mary was very upset
because her brother was dead by that time and more than that their close friend Jesus ignored
them at the time of their urgency. But what did Jesus do? He asked those who were near the tomb
to remove the stone that covered it and ordered Lazarus to come out. So Lazarus was alive. The
urgency of Mary and Martha was invalid since their invitation was just for the biological love
towards Lazarus. They should have had patience, and belief and more than that love towards God.
Once you ask God you are answered, because He loves you. You are wavy because you faith is
wavy. You must remove that stone of disbelief that covers your soul and let God reside in you. Then
you will have all the happiness because God wants to manifest himself through us. We are here in
the prison for the God to manifest through us and make the world realize that He is Living. See
what Jesus tells to Mary and Martha when they hurried to Jesus: “This sickness is not fatal. It will
become an occasion to show God’s glory by glorifying God’s Son.28” So, it is for the glorification of
Jesus that time was taken – He is living and you need accept that fact. He will take you out at the
right moment when you are prepared to glorify Him. So make yourself prepared”.
“Oh, now I feel sorry, there was no one to tell me all this. Am I late?”
“Not at all. He’s with you”.
A silence fell over us.
28
John 11:4 (The Message)
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10 February 2010
I was sleeping – Time 10.30 p.m. – suddenly a chap came in.
“Brother, Chandana aiya is not well. He hadn’t any meal for tree days. Something is wrong. Can you
bless this rice and give?”
I was thinking whether to bless the rice or to go and see the patient.
“Wait, let’s go to the room and pray. Your faith will cure him”.
I went – room ---- Chandana was lying on the floor – a fair chap with well built body but completely
weak, cannot talk or raise him. I prayed: ‘Dear Jesus, cure my brother. Chase away all unclean
forces from his body. Raise him Jesus, in your name, Amen’.
I made him to sit and fed one mouth of rice. Also he had a sip of coffee.
“In the name of Jesus you are cured. God bless you brother, sleep well”.
I left that room.
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11 February 2010
My elder son’s birthday. No way that I could wish him. No phone available.
I met a member of the Socialist Equality Party who has, in fact, been dismissed after a disciplinary
matter and remanded for several murders. I was talking to about my acquaintance with comrades
Keerthi Balasuriya and Sucharitha Gamlath. Balasuriya was a staunch Trotskyite and Gamlath had a
very unfortunate fate when he was dismissed from the Revolutionary Communist Party for sitting
together with State ministers at a felicitation ceremony for Ediriweera Sarachchandra. I told this
friend of the debate Balasuriya and Gamlath had with Sarachchandra on aesthetics, that was
twenty years back. However, that debate was really fruitful since there had been no literature on
Marxist criticism on Arts: that was objective criticism and the duo was against Sarachchandra for his
imaginary worlds.
My friend had a question for me: ‘Knowing Marxism why do you talk about Jesus?’
My answer: ‘Jesus is the most powerful Communist I have heard of in this world’.
“How come? That is not the truth. Jesus talks about a religion. Religion is opium – Lenin said. Don’t
you know about that? Why have you taken a reactionary path? I am still a Marxist. I don’t want to
deviate. I joined SEP in latter part of 1990’s. I don’t know the people whom you knew. But I know
one thing: you have taken the wrong path”.
I smiled.
I started the dialogue.
“Yes, religion is opium for the oppressed. It was Marx who said this in Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy
of Right29. What did he really say: ‘religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a
heartless world, just as it is the spirit of a spiritless situation?’ Now you can see religion is needed
by the oppressed who lives in a heartless world. True enough. That is why Jesus in his mission
statement says:
“The Spirit of the Lord is with me.

He has anointed me
to tell the Good News to the poor.
He has sent me
to announce forgiveness to the prisoners of sin
and the restoring of sight to the blind,
to forgive those who have been shattered by sin,
to announce the year of the Lord’s favor.30”
Jesus has brought the Good News of Salvation which is opium for Marx. For him salvation for the
oppressed has a political and economic interpretation. Marx visualizes a class society in which the
means of production is owned by the wealthy; who are the owners of property. In Das Kapital he
delineates of how excess labour exploited by the factory owner builds up his profit which is
considered as accumulation of capital. In order to destroy this class struggle he professed of a war
against the capitalist – a proletarian revolution.
29
Marx’s Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right (1843), Cambridge University Press, 1970. Ed. Joseph O’Malley.
30
Luke 4.18-19 (God’s Word Translation)
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In the history we have seen the results of such struggles. Let me start with Lenin the leader. The
leadership of Lenin was different to Stalin or to Che or to Mao or to Chavez. Marx intended a
struggle which he never thought would completely depend on an individual person. Marx didn’t see
that individuality of the person would decide the course of the struggle. Russian leaders took
different ideological stands and Marx’s expectation failed. China is also taking a completely
different path re-interpreting Marx’s terms. East Germany saw the demolition of the Berlin wall.
The world is changing and still we are not in a position to see a Communist state as idealized by
Marx. No country could live alone as a Communist State. Suspicion and suppression become the
ideology and tool to ensure existence of such States. A complete hatred of the enemy prevails.
What destruction was caused in the past to build these Socialist States. Men and women together
with children were massacred to build a State for the oppressed. Even though Marx forgot that
individual traits of the leader influence the path of Socialism it has become the true point to be
argued.
Let’s get back to another point: Marx saw suffering of the poor, especially the working classes.
Jesus, too, saw the suffering. Buddha saw the suffering. Marx was looking at a mundane world since
he interpreted world materialistically and so only way he saw in eradicating poverty and suffering
was to root out the exploiters. In contrast, Buddha and Jesus saw suffering as part of life and they
never professed of erasing of any community or class but transformed such suffering into a positive
understanding of life that would bring inner peace to the human and his environment.
As we know exploitation was visible from the time the world came into existence. Every being has
the instinct of using the ‘other’ for them. The emergence of the civilization means man exploiting
his environment. The struggle was there from the time immemorial. Marx could only think of the
struggle against accumulated labor – Capital, but for Buddha and Jesus it was the struggle against
accumulated lust – Sorrow or dukkha.
Marx’s vision was to build a Communist State where no difference or discrimination would exit but
only democracy and equality exists. Buddha and Jesus spoke on nirvana and heaven where
democracy and equality prevails through the transformation of the individual who has given up
greediness and is consciously prepared to ensure the well-being of everyone. This individual
transformation is a result the conscious willingness of the individual which is free of any external
coercion. I emphasize this term ‘external coercion’ in order to prove the fact that the Communist
State of Marx is a development of a process of continuous coercion from a particular class and that
coercion initially means of removing all freedom of thought. The particular class – the proletariat
turns into officialdom suppressing and censoring every aspect of the society developing a negative
ideology of suspicion for its survival. The process to build the Communist State receives a blockade
with this new psychology of the proletariat officer who reverses at destroying enemies – enemies of
every kind whom he considers would be harmful for his existence. This type of psychology we
witnessed in every country that pursued for Communism, finally faced a point of crash or divert
them to ensure safety and adopt reformist actions. It is this fear psychosis that becomes a burden
and innumerable defense lines are being adopted by them to ensure that no enemy intrudes into
their territory.
Let me say that this territory of theirs is primarily the territory of psyche which is always in tension
and no inner freedom or happiness is visible. Anyone can say that for a Communist, freedom or
happiness means a collective achievement. True, to achieve freedom or happiness collectively each
member in the society needs to first achieve it. For Marx the primary achievement is the
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establishment of the Proletariat State and together with it all freedom and happiness flows.
However, we have never seen a Proletariat State that exists with total freedom and let me say a
State whether it’s Capitalist or Socialist or Proletariat or Democratic or whatever name you call it is
not an entity that exercises total freedom. States are built with repressive tools otherwise it cannot
be a State. It imposes restrictions on its citizens. The moment the citizen’s thinking moves onto
breaking barriers he/she becomes an ‘enemy’. So it is clear now that the tension that exists in this
world is of being a friend or an enemy.
For Buddha and Jesus this tension does not apply for the reason that they advocate that one should
be able to make friend with one’s self. Eradicate all greediness, lust, attachment and invite a free
life that would bring inner happiness, free of unwanted burdens, live to make others happy through
an exemplary life. This may be challenging and difficult of the majority and you may laugh at this
thought but the truth is that unless you start loving yourself, you cannot make others free and
happy. When you are burdened with worries how could you think of removing the worries of the
others? Marx had a worry – he was worried over the suffering of the masses but we know from his
life that he couldn’t relieve himself of his own worries. Lenin, too, had his personal worries. Che
had. Mao had. Castro has and Chavez has. All are in a struggle to find a way out.
The dissatisfaction in life is visible everywhere. No one is contented. It is because their centric
points are all uncertain, temporary and mundane. The proletariat looks for protecting his Socialist
State. Another is trying to protect the factories. Another tries to protect the family. And so it goes
on as a question of security in an insecure world. This insecurity is what brings in suspicion, worry
and enemy. So one has become his own enemy. He loses everything. Nothing becomes permanent.
There is nothing that one can retain eternally. Everything disappears. Everything comes to zero.
This truth was not seen by the materialists or even those who pursue a worldly life.
At this point, Buddha and Jesus could help the people. Both of them talk of the inner self or the
consciousness which needs to be enlightened with an understanding of how suffering comes to
man and how it could be avoided. Man as an individual needs to enlighten himself by giving up
carnal desires and concentrate on inner peace so that he would not become an enemy of his
environment. When one removes all lust and build inner peace and become a good friend for one’s
self then that friendliness automatically flows to every part of the world limitless and even those
who are hostile towards the person gets transformed as no hostility is visible in the person.
Friendliness becomes the only philosophy that can be easily termed as compassionate love.
It is this compassion that I have towards these prisoners and it breaks all barriers and moves onto
nature, to animals, trees, planets, water, sand, and to every particle of this universe. Now just
imagine of this heat we have. What hostility we have shown towards the ozone layer for us to
receive such heat. How many die in other countries because of this heat? The number of land slides
and earth quakes that are reported show how much we have loved our nature. Instead of
subjugation we need to think of friendly interaction with the universe. We are not just singular
particles but we are a vital part of the cosmos. The cosmic energy transmits through every single
thing. There is nothing you cannot say non-living. Everything is living and everything is decaying. A
change is taking place at every moment. And how could we make this better for every being? The
answer is maithree or love as religion shows. And that is the centric point in each of us. A mature
level of consciousness.
Love calls to stop all types of discrimination!
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Love calls for the protection of nature!
Love calls for respect and equality!
Love calls for the dignity of every being!”
My friend was silently looking at me.
“Isn’t this love that made Mother Theresa to help the poor, sick and the abandoned? To this day
she helps those who are in need. Isn’t this love that made Nelson Mandela to destroy the prisons
and eradicate apartheid from South Africa? Isn’t this love that made Rachel Corrie to call for a stop
of the Israeli Defense Force action in occupying in Palestenian lands? Isn’t this love that made
Gandhi to call for the freedom of the Indians? And today isn’t this love that has made Dalai Lama to
be with his own Tibetan people in exile? I can remember someone telling me that there was a
Catholic nun among the IDP’s in the North who had continuously worked with them until the last
IDP was sent out from that camp. So this is the strength of love. It transforms the world. It
transforms the lives of the people. It never invites hostility. Even those who are hostile change and
accept the power of compassion”.
“So what you try to stress is that the individual is vital in the change of the society?”
“Exactly. The society is comprised of individuals. Now look at this remand. There are nearly nine
hundred – a large society but I work with those who are prepared to change. They have gained love
of Jesus and are very happy. They don’t have any grudge against anyone. They pray for you and for
everyone in this world. So from this prison flows out a love – an energy that could heal the whole
world. Isn’t this the way or the path to salvation?”
“Yes, yes, I understand…” He was silent. “What will happen to my Marxism?” A silence.
“Marxism, too, is important. It is because of love for the poor worker that Marx wrote so much and
everyone should learn from him but the application of theories into action one should deeply think
and see what is suits the occasion”.
“You are referring to a refined way of helping the underprivileged and oppressed people?”
“Yes, without harming anyone; loving your enemy; bringing the friend and the foe together to make
this world better. That is what Buddha did and Jesus did. What I can tell finally is that love is a force
that even has changed you”.
“You are right. It has even shaken me. It pushes me into thinking further of myself and my action.
This is enough for today. I love you for giving me this insight. Always talk to me when you are free. I
want to hear what you say”.
A silence reigned for a moment and then we departed with a maturity of consciousness that could
never have come without this discussion.
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12 February 2010
A man with wounds in the whole body came near the tank. There was no one to help. Blood coming
from the wounds. He kept on scratching. Nobody wanted to help him. At least to talk with him. I
went to him. Come, I will help you to bathe. I took him to the tank. Removed his clothes. Got the
man in the tank to pour water. I gave the piece of soap, but he refused. Yes, he can’t apply soap. He
finished bathing. There was no towel. What shall I do? I gave my towel. I was happy. I helped Jesus
to have a bath.
It comes to my mind of a Haiku poem on gratitude :
Feeling gratitude
Feeling content and grateful
Feeling greatly full.
It’s like an in-breath

An inhalation: great, full
Full with life’s bounty.
For more, first exhale,

Give away our great fullness:
Generosity31.
31
Author - Dan Gurney
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Case of a citizen:
“Brother, I knew a businessman (let’s call him A.), a big jewellery shop owner. What he didn’t like
was to have competitors. He had close contacts with the Police OIC (let’s name him as B.) in the
area. There was another jewellery shop which was famous and had good business and A wanted to
destroy it. A planned with B to attack that shop. B gave all the ideas as to how the attack should be
carried out. It was for me that the job was entrusted. I went with four of my friends in a van. We
were clad as monks. This matter appeared in the papers, too. Somehow we got caught. B couldn’t
do anything or he didn’t want to do anything. They shared the money they got from selling the
robbed jewellery. We got only twenty thousand rupees”.
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14 February 2010
My experience convinced me that counseling provision is a necessity within our prisons.
Prison mental-health…. Many inmates suffer from relatively low-level psychological disturbances –
depression, anxiety and so on…. Very little support is available to prisoners with common mental
health problems, such as depression, anxiety and sleeping disorders.
My experience leads me to conclude that a significant number of the inmates whom I met in prison
have been traumatized as children. Anti-social and criminal behavior of them is a result of their
alienation and a distrust of authority.
“Self-narratives are shaped by experience and then reflected in 115umin115te. In order to explain
why individuals commit crime an analysis is required to understand these internal states. One level
is to explore the narrative identity or self-concept. It is suggested that traits give only the beginning
of the ‘whole personality.’ To fully understand offending there is a need to move beyond ‘stable
traits’ to explore the ‘whole person.’ Previous approaches to understanding crime do not take into
account understanding of the criminal and this must be supplemented with offenders’ perspectives
and a review of their unique personal histories to give . . . . a full-blooded portrait.”
Day, J. (2007) ‘Psychological Theories of Criminality’, in Parker, M. (ed.) Dynamic Security, (London
and Philadelphia: JKP), pp.55-6.
How many really want to understand the prisoner?
The relationship between the prisoner and the prison officer is vital in this respect.
A serious question: Who is the counsellor who is prepared to work in the prison system?
My observations proved that rehabilitation does not work in the prison. Those who go out return
with smiling faces. This means that for a counsellor or a psychotherapist changing people is a
difficult task as it cannot be effected against their will. As I know in therapy, change normally occurs
because people want to change. These people are here in the prison against their will. They are mainly
concerned in going out. So counseling for them would be challenging.
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15 February 2010
Chaminda came running to the room with a loaf of bread and a packet of murukku (a deep fried,
crunchy, crispy, yummy snack which is made with rice flour and gram dhal).
“Brother, thank you, amma came to see me”.
I looked up at the sky. “Praise be to you my heavenly Father”.
“So you are happy. Jesus loves you. Come for prayers every day”.
“I will, I will…Here is a small present….Amma brought these….” He gave me murukku and the loaf of
bread.
“Your prayers are more important than anything else”, I said.
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16 February 2010
A grey-haired short chap came into the room in afternoon. A bit in excitement as I noticed him.
“Brother, Bandu aiya told me to come and talk to you. I am not a Christian but my wife and child
are Christians. My case is coming up tomorrow, can you pray for me?”
“Of course, I will. Come for prayers in the evening”.
“Brother, there’s something that hurts me. I want to tell you that. I know god will not pardon me
for the crime I committed, but....” eyes filled with tears.
“Now, let me listen to you. Tell me, Jesus is there to give you peace”.
“You know, my wife is abroad. We didn’t have a house. We lived in a small room in Pettah. We have
a small girl child. She’s eleven years old. My daughter was kept with my wife’s sister. One day she
was brought to my room, she had wanted to see me. That particular day I was drunk. I couldn’t
control myself. I took my child closer to me when she was sleeping. I didn’t know what happened.
She started screaming. I saw blood. I ran out. I couldn’t think of what would happen next. I thought
of killing her. But then I was hesitant. The neighbours had heard my child screaming and they came
out. They saw me. Since I was silent they went into the room. I didn’t move. My dope had
disappeared. They caught me and gave me to the police. Now the child is back with the sister-in-
law. This happened one year ago. There’s no one to give me bail. I lost everything because of this.
There’s no one for me”
“See, it is your drunkenness that made the small child’s life ruined”.
“I know. It all happened. I am a sinner. Only the hell is there for me”.
“This is what happens when you walk with the devil. At least now you have thought God. You have
thought of Jesus”.
“For us we have only karma. What we do will give the appropriate result. Mine is an akusala ( a bad
deed). I need to save my life. I know, I will be burnt in hell. They will tear me to pieces. Why did I
come to this world to have this fate?”
“Don’t make you worried so much. God likes your repentance. What happened has happened. You
can’t reverse all that. But God will not renounce you. ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake
you,32’ He says. So He loves you, your daughter and your wife. What we should do is pray....pray”.
A moment of silence and relief.
32
Hebrews 13.5
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17 February 2010
I failed to answer a question that was asked by my friends: ‘How and where did the Apostle Paul
die?’ In fact, I asked an elderly prisoner of this and he told me that Paul was killed by the Romans.
Romans killed Paul
The Bible does not tell us how or when the apostle Paul died, and history does not provide us with
any information. The only thing we have to go on is Christian tradition, which has Paul being
behead in Rome, around the mid 60s A.D., during the reign of Nero. Most Bible dictionaries and
some commentaries can give us details on the traditions surrounding Paul’s death. The following
are examples:
“Concerning the time, place, and manner of his death, we have little certainty. It is commonly
believed that, when a general persecution was raised against the Christians by Nero, about A.D. 64,
under pretence that they had set Rome on fire, both St. Paul and St. Peter then sealed the truth
with their blood; the latter being crucified with his head downward; the former being beheaded,
either in A.D. 64 or 65, and buried in the Via Ostiensis. EUSEBIUS, Hist, Eccles. Lib. Ii. Cap. 25,
intimates that the tombs of these two apostles, with their inscriptions, were extant in his time; and
quotes as his authority a holy man of the name of Caius, who wrote against the sect of the
Cataphrygians, who has asserted this, as from his personal knowledge. See Eusebius, by Reading,
vol. i. p. 83; and see Dr. Lardner, in his life of this apostle, who examines this account with his usual
perspicuity and candor.
“Other writers have been more particular concerning his death: they say that it was not by the
command of Nero that he was martyred, but by that of the prefects of the city, Nero being then
absent; that he was beheaded at Aquae Salviae, about three miles from Rome, on Feb. 22; that he
could not be crucified, as Peter was, because he was a freeman of the city of Rome. But there is
great uncertainty on these subjects, so that we cannot positively rely on any account that even the
ancients have transmitted to us concerning the death of this apostle; and much less on the
accounts given by the moderns; and least of all on those which are to be found in the
Martyrologists. Whether Paul ever returned after this to Rome has not yet been satisfactorily
proved. It is probable that he did, and suffered death there, as stated above; but still we have no
certainty” (Commentary on the Bible by Adam Clarke, commenting on Acts 28:31).
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The following excerpt is taken from The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, First Edition,
article “Paul the Apostle”
“When Paul writes again to Timothy he has had a winter in prison, and has suffered greatly from
the cold and does not wish to spend another winter in the Mamertine (probably) prison (2Timothy
4:13, 21). We do not know what the charges now are. They may have been connected with the
burning of Rome. There were plenty of informers eager to win favor with Nero. Proof was not now
necessary. Christianity is no longer a religion under the shelter of Judaism. It is now a crime to be a
Christian. It is dangerous to be seen with Paul now, and he feels the desertion keenly (2Timothy
1:15ff; 4:10). Only Luke, the beloved physician, is with Paul (2Timothy 4:11), and such faithful ones
as live in Rome still in hiding (2Timothy 4:21).
“Paul hopes that Timothy may come and bring Mark also ( 2Timothy 4:11). Apparently Timothy did
come and was put into prison (Hebrews 13:23). Paul is not afraid. He knows that he will die. He has
escaped the mouth of the lion (2Timothy 4:17), but he will die (2Timothy 4:18). The Lord Jesus
stood by him, perhaps in visible presence (2Timothy 4:17). The tradition is, for now Paul fails us,
that Paul, as a Roman citizen, was beheaded on the Ostian Road just outside of Rome. Nero died
June, 68 AD, so that Paul was executed before that date, perhaps in the late spring of that year (or
67). Perhaps Luke and Timothy were with him. It is fitting, as Findlay suggests, to let Paul’s words in
2Timothy 4:6-8 serve for his own epitaph. He was ready to go to be with Jesus, as he had long
wished to be (Philippians 1:23)”
Lastly, the following quote regarding the death of Paul was taken from the Smith’s Bible
Dictionary by Dr. William Smith, article “Paul”:
“This epistle, [2 Timothy ] surely no unworthy utterance at such an age and in such an hour even of
a St. Paul, brings us, it may well be presumed, close to the end of his life. For what remains, we
have the concurrent testimony of ecclesiastical antiquity, that he was beheaded at Rome, about the
same time that St. Peter was crucified there. The earliest allusion to the death of St. Paul is in that
sentence from Clemens Romanus, . . . which just fails of giving us any particulars upon which we
can conclusively rely. The next authorities are those quoted by Eusebius in his H. E. ii. 25. Dionysius,
bishop of Corinth (A. D. 170), says that Peter and Paul went to Italy and taught there together, and
suffered martyrdom about the same time. This, like most of the statements relating to the death of
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St. Paul, is mixed up with the tradition, with which we are not here immediately concerned, of the
work of St. Peter at Rome.
“Caius of Rome, supposed to be writing within the 2nd century, names the grave of St. Peter on the
Vatican, and that of St. Paul on the Ostian way. Eusebius himself entirely adopts the tradition that
St. Paul was beheaded under Nero at Rome. Amongst other early testimonies, we have that of
Tertullian, who says (De Praescr. Haeret. 36) that at Rome “Petrus 120umin120t Dominicae
adaequatur, Paulus Johannis [the Baptist] exitu coronatur;” and that of Jerome (Cat. Sc. Paulus),
“Hic ergo 14 to Neronis anno (eodem die quo Petrus) Romae pro Christo capite 120umin120tes
sepultusque est, in via Ostiensi.” It would be useless to enumerate further testimonies of what is
undisputed”.
Written by: Calvin Lashway
http://www.biblestudy.org/question/sauldie.html
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18 February 2010
I was looking at an old man, 70 years or more, what crime has he committed to come to the
remand, I was wondering. He couldn’t walk properly....very feeble....helpless..... Even though I do
not know the gravity of his crime I was thinking that confining the aged in this manner looks quite
awkward as any sensible man would feel that law is too rigid towards elders and humanizing the
legal system in this post-modern age is important for better policies and for a healthy society.
Love and care for elders....the world talks a lot about this topic but when an elder is confined in a
prison and left to die without the necessary love and care what would the society achieve? Does it
mean that a prisoner is a being that is made to be forgotten?
During my stay here three elders died.
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19 February 2010
Balu’s testimony
“I thank God for giving me good vision. I couldn’t read a book, my eyesight was so bad. Brother
touched my eyes and prayed. Then I went to the room. A friend gave me a piece of paper to read
and I read. I was amazed. I was thinking how this happened. God did it. Brother, you healed me”.
“It was not me, God did it. You must thank Him”.
‘
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres’. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
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20 February 2010
I was lying on the floor reading a book Time – around nine in the night. Suddenly came to the room
a person wearing a pair of spectacles.
“I came to see you”.
God bless you brother, come so what news?”
“News?” he sounded very indefinite.
“I am fed up this life”.
“Now for how many months?”
“Six months. Not a single bloody visit. As if I’m from nowhere”.
“So how did you come here then? Surely you would have been somewhere?”
“Yes, yes, they brought me here while I was sleeping in the church”.
His eyes ere filled with tears.
“Brother, I went in search of my two daughters and my wife. I went to Gampola. I thought that they
would be there. I went to the churches, to the convents, but I couldn’t find them. I was helpless.
There was no one to help me. I returned to Colombo. I went to a place where I used to buy drugs. I
took drugs and went to the Baptist church to which used to go. I thought the priest would be there.
But he was not available. The door to the vestry was opened. I went in and thought of lying for a
little while and as I was tired – tired mentally and physically. I lied on the bench in the last row. I
had fallen asleep. It was when the police woke me up that I realized what has happened. There had
been some committee meeting and those members had come and without identifying me had
informed the police. I had not excuse. They took me to the police station and then to courts and
here. The priest could have easily helped me but he made the case worse. I hate those fellows:
priests who are supposed to preach the gentleness and love of God Almighty. They killed me. I hate
them. Even my brother is a popular priest in Sri Lanka. I, too, studied at the theological school to
become a priest. My brother came to see me four months back. He brought me some food and a
Bible. I took all that and returned the Bible as none of those priests abide by the Word. They
accuse, they show themselves as saints but what love do they have towards a person who has been
made a culprit? My brother could have intervened easily. All those priests are very powerful. There
power is to destroy others and not to make the oppressed survive through love. I was under severe
stress. I lost my two kids and wife. Why couldn’t those white robed saints of priests think about my
plight? Was it the fault of sleeping inside the church without anyone’s permission under drugs to
send me to jail? Why didn’t they care about me? Why couldn’t they pay concern over my issue?
Those preachers are cheaters: they cheat God: a well-fed lot: bloody rogues: they rob money of the
people in the name of God: they feed themselves: but they have forgotten the love, the
responsibility they should have towards God’s children. No love, no caring, no Jesus!” he cried...”I
am alone...a lonely creature...no mother, no father, no brother...a fucking fate....”
“Can you tell me from where you are, and who your parents are?”
He revealed all that. (I am obliged to keep everything secret)
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“When is your next date?”
“Eighteenth March. I need to have one thousand five hundred rupees to go out or I have to serve a
sentence”.
“Don’t worry my brother, Jesus is with you. He has not left you. You were sent to show that there is
someone to care for you in this world”.
“Knowing very well the Holy Word I got used to drugs and that’s where Satan took me to the
depths. After getting married I stopped all that. My wife is very young and beautiful. When I think
of my two daughters I can’t bear it. It is they whom I want. That’s why I went to Gampola. I failed. I
came and took drugs again. And came here”.
“so you are blessed with a beautiful wife and two loving daughters. God has given you invaluable
gifts. So how did you go for drugs? A person who knows the Holy Word...you made a mistake...Do
you accept the mistake you made?”
“Yes, I did a wrong thing. I went against him. I know it was my fault”.
“This is enough. Your repentance, your acceptance of the fault before god is enough. Now be with
Him. You must spend your time with God. Come for prayers. Jesus will guide you out from this place
on the eighteenth of March”.
He smiled.
“Will that happen?”
“Of course! Believe Jesus. Look at Him. He’s the only saviour! He has turned you into a new man
now. Isn’t it told in the letter to Corinthians?”
“Yes”.
“It is told like this: ‘If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone;
everything is made new!’33 So let’s talk and discern only about the Cross – the Cross on which Jesus
gave His life for our sins”.
“Thanks brother, no priest was able to give me life like you”.
I warmly embraced him.
He left happily.
(The reader may be curious about the name of this person – let’s call him Mike.)
33
2 Corinthians 5.17
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st
21 February 2010
M. told me that she went to Jaffna to see the resettled people. According to her nothing much ahs
taken place. The government is involved in election battles and not on humanitarian work. I love
the way M. has taken an interest on the people who suffered in the war. They could be Tamil,
Sinhala or Muslim but what is important is they were victims of the three decade long battle
between the government forces and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam.‘You shall not take
vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor
as yourself: I am the LORD34’. M. has felt the suffering of those displace. It has become her
concern. It is necessary that we care for other sin the manner we care for ourselves. What Maya
Angelou said comes to my mind: ‘If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have
succeeded’.
If anyone asks me, ‘what is the business of those who follow Christ?” I will say “it is to make the
persecution, suffering, and injustice of our fellows our own”. And that is the love Jesus taught us.
To be caring Christians. To make it my business.
34
(Leviticus 19:18 )(English Standard Version)
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rd
22 February 2010
Case of a citizen:
“Brother, I became a rapist when I started associating politician L. He was behind nice girls. He, as I
know, was so lusty that whenever he sees a girl he wanted her. And so I had to track the one he
selected and bring to him forcefully. I, too, got used to rape girls like that. My craving was limitless.
I have raped sixteen girls. I know it is wrong but I couldn’t stop my habit. Let me tell you one
incident for which I am in the prison now. One day L wanted a woman and that time I had to go to
her house and bring her. She’s married with two kids. When I went to her house her husband was
there. I had to hammer the man and as he was not giving in; I had to shoot him with the 9m. I had
and take the woman by force. I can still hear the screaming of the two small kids. I feel sorry for
them. They lost their mother, too. I had to finish her that night. All this is wrong but I wanted
money at the end of the day”.
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rd
23 February 2010
Ten fellows on the roof top – those who were in the remand for seven years or more due to delay
in submission of reports by the government departments to High Courts. What rights a prisoner has
in such circumstances? Do they have to stay for longer periods in the remand until the government
departments come out from their slumber? What excuses can the government give for keeping its
citizens in the remand for such longer periods for the inactivity, lack of expertise, and lack of
diligence in their departments? Isn’t there a remedy for the prisoners under the country’s
constitution? Isn’t there a National Human Rights Commission to work on this matter?
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24 February 2010
‘The usefulness of a cup is its emptiness’, I can remember someone telling me this.
I mention this because an inmate whose name was not revealed gave his life story thus:
“I got fed up when I came here…isolation is really a scary business….this prison is scary…it’s
messy….it messes everyone’s mind…first I didn’t know how to fight it….but in one way it was OK to
be sad and lonely…it was OK to cry….it was OK not to feel happy, to feel broken… Did I choose to
come to this world? No, no, no….so how can I be responsible for such a loneliness? What can I do
more than staying alone like this? If life has broken me….it’s OK to be broken! Why did You break
me, I asked God several times. But He just let me cry…let everything to pour out….and then….slowly
and in an amazing manner He re-awakened my soul….my little soul….and paved way for me to get
going….I’m alive….and I saw everyone alive…no one is dead…. In fact, I was in such an awful
isolation when they put me in….there was so much pain….I wished if God would just kill me inside
this prison….It was such a terrific worry I had….but it didn’t last…it had a breaking point….a change
came in….I didn’t want to die anymore….I didn’t like this burden….I didn’t want to suffer and I
didn’t want to die…Why? This big question gave me an answer: Love. I started loving myself and
then I felt to do something…with songs….I was a good guitarist…so I started singing. First, I sang to
myself….I loved myself…tried to make me happy….I forgot the world….It was only me…and then I
started singing for others….I had come out from the cave that I was in and then reaching others…
My voice is good. So they love to listen to me…I sing, especially, in the nights when they can’t sleep
because of the worries. Automatically, they join me in singing or fall asleep. The past
disappeared…no more cries….a beautiful life has crept into me…one time my heart was ripped out
from me…now it has come back and it gives life to others, too. I am sure God answered me in a
different way…He made me to sing… He became the song….His love for me made me to sing…. Now
I can’t stay without singing….love is persistent…it goes on….it hurts in such a manner that when
someone is crying I feel like singing to him. You must love a person till it hurts you….isn’t it
wonderful to be in love? To stay together? Because all of us have a common thread that runs
through us. It’s like a sewing needle which pierces right into all our hearts - and that sting is so
awesome, and also amazing at the same time. Now I don't want feel like going out into the world. It
is the place that is scary. I don't want to be abused anymore. But let’s be together. Your little soul
might be flickering far away, but it's in the same universe I'm in - and I know that because 'you can
take my hand in the darkness like a length of rope.' I know that the heart beating inside me is on
the same thread as yours. Somewhere along the line, they meet up. Otherwise I wouldn't be talking
to you right at this moment. Now I must go to sleep… Go on with your work… Maybe we'll both
spiral downward...but I think that's OK, as long as that flicker is there! Whatever happens at work,
remember...no one can touch your heart. It's safe from everything. There's a thread running
through it that nothing in this world can even fray. So we have made a relationship; Someone has
thought of you today, and is wishing you well. So you touched someone and thank you, I found it
difficult to stay alone and now I am not alone. I appreciate your work, take care, I love you”, he
hugged me and left the room.
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25 February 2010
Surith has become a good preacher. When I met him first he was not in a position to read a single
word. But now he is reading and preaching. He praised God for giving this gift of reading. I feel that
one day God will use him in strong manner. He selects the Word and explains to the congregation.
The way he uses words have become sharpened.
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26 February 2010
“Dear friend, how are you?”
“Oh, in the name of Jesus, all going well. Now the pressure comes from another direction, too.
From the church”.
“That has to happen. Pharisees, Sadducees and all those clergy and lawmakers and scribes were
dominating the church even at the time of Jesus....You have your House of Jesus, be in that. Do
your Bible studies and intercessory prayers there. God’s blessings are with you”.
“Do pray Jesus to strengthen us more and more”.
“Yes, we pray for all of you. Do not worry. He’s with you”.
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27 February 2010
In the evening there were fights.
Ten grams of heroine had come in last night and Rufinol had been mixed to that and a big number
of people have used it. They shout, fall, fight and a big commotion from last night. I heard that
Rufinol is a tablet used for mentally disordered.
A doctor who is inside told me that the real term of this tablet is flunitrazepam. It is commonly
abused in Europe, Asia, South America, especially Chile, where it is available without a prescription
and brings drowsiness, dizziness, ataxia, nightmares, headache, and memory impairment.
Sometimes in other countries it is used as a hypnotic and for the induction of anesthesia. The
depressive effect of this tablet lasts from eight to twelve hours. These people not only mix this
tablet with heroine but also sometimes crush and ‘snort’ to hasten the onset and intensity of the
effect. Sometimes it is being smoked.
Rufinol: an alternative to psychotherapy or counselling?
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28 February 2010
Ranjith came to me and asked a very interesting question.
“Brother, tell me how one could find a partner who is really spiritual?”
I turned the Bible and showed him that it is not only the woman but the man, too, needs to be
spiritual. The man has a spiritual role and to understand that means a healthy relationship with the
wife. I read the passage which says, “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the
Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, even as Christ is head of the church….so let wives be to
their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wife as Christ also loved the church and
gave himself for it . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife
loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as
the Lord the church . . . For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined
unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh 35”.
I raised a question: “Will it be possible for a husband to take a decision without consulting or
considering his wife and her wishes?” The answer from Ranjith was, “Impossible”!
In fact, the husband should love his wife above all other human beings. Ephesians 5.25 clearly says,
‘
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her
holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a
radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless’. Further, we
can see in Colossians 3.19 which says, ‘Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly’.
Don’t these passages teach the husband to be considerate and tender? The husband is to cherish
his wife. She is to be treated with tenderness and affection. Love must be fed, and there has to be a
warm demonstrative love relationship. Not only that, he should be able to talk to her lovingly and
openly. He cannot sit in self-absorption and avoid talking with her and communicating with her
socially, mentally, verbally and physically. Most men, as we know, demonstrate their love towards
the wife only at the time of sexual intercourse. That is wrong. How come the husband’s affection
and consideration is shown only when the sex play is going on? Then what would the wife think?
She will get the idea that all a husband is interested in is her body and that she is merely a sex
object.
Look at the advise Peter gives 36: ‘You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an
understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow
heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered’. Doesn’t Peter tell that husband
should honor his wife. She gave up her name to take the husband’s. She should be respected and it
involves courtesy, consideration and emotional support. I have seen husbands who ridicule their
wives in public. How come you as a loving husband do that in public cutting remarks. Don’t forget
that she wears your name. So she should be viewed as part of your body. Do not think that she is
35
Ephesians 5.22-31
36
I Peter 3:7
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perfect. No one is perfect. You must be aware of this. In the letter to the Ephesians37 Paul says ‘Be
kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you’.
This clearly demands gentleness towards her. You as a husband how could you show your
forbearance? It is only through the control of temper, abstaining from physical violence and
restraining a sharp tongue that makes one feel so inferior.
Paul further explains 38 that marriage is a financial venture and the man has his duty to finance or
support or provide for his family. Isn’t this about earnings? So your earnings are not your own but
belong to your wife as well as your children. One cannot neglect this duty. ‘But if any provide not
for his own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an
infidel’.
What further duty a husband has? To be active in the area of discipline and rearing of children. As
we know many men administer discipline without love. If one is to rule his house he should nurture
love. Only through love that proper governance in the house could be maintained; healthy
relationships could be maintained. “Fathers provoke not your children to wrath”, says Paul and
again in Colossians 3:21 he says, “Fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be
discouraged”. Look at this serious task imposed on the husband? We have witnessed that many
men leave all the discipline up to his wife, and finally blames her for some fault of the children. No,
the husband should share the responsibility in the molding and direction of their children. Many
men say “I provide the living and the wife has to take care of the house and children”. One must
not forget that after the days work even one has his duties.
So the Christian father, as the leader of the house should earn a living and direct the household
with concern for each member. He should see to their spiritual development by the life he lives and
the direction in which he leads his family.
Don’t forget, your wife is a part of your body – you are a part of each other.
“Love your wife”, stresses Paul since the love you give to her is the love you have to yourself and
hence you fulfill the role that the Lord wanted you to have.
37
Ephesians 4:32
38
I Timothy 5:8
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01 March 2010
In the afternoon under the water tank I sat with Ranjith to create a prayer for him. He wanted to
have a prayer to free himself from lethargy, drugs and smoking. We discussed the Word and thus
created the following prayer:
“O Father, you have poured your immense love on me and accepted me as your son. Thank
you Father, for this privilege you have bestowed on me. Father, let me open my soul to you as I am
weakened with lethargy, drugs and smoking. Touch me Father. Help me through your Word. It is
said in Hebrews 4.12 ‘For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged
sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick
to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart’. Please father, with your two-edged sword cut and
remove the unclean lethargy, and the greed I have for drugs and smoking. Make me strong in you,
in Jesus’ Name, Amen!”
This prayer, I am sure, could be used by anyone with appropriate alterations to experience a change
mentally and physically. This prayer is powerful to clean the psyche and the body of a person.
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02 March 2010
Whom do we find in the prison? Fathers, brothers, nephews, cousins and grandfathers.
These human children need love.
More than everything they need forgiveness. My mission showed that they need to forgive
themselves first and the people ‘outside’, too, should forgive them and should consider it as a high
priority.
The freedom I had in the remand was a blessing to engage in my prison ministry work. I preached
the inmates, discussed their issues, taught lessons from the Bible and it was for this purpose Lord
had placed me here.
The inmates need a philosophy to their lives. No political theory works here. No psychotherapy
works here. They need only one thing: J-O-Y (Jesus – others and you). And it was this philosophy I
put to them and it worked. First Jesus, then others and finally it is you....
In Ephesians 4:32 it is said, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” So they want kindhearted people to talk to them,
to listen to them.
The Lord gave me two lessons:
Lesson 1. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to
them who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Lesson 2. “ ... But rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven” (Luke 10:20).
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03 March 2010
Now we have twenty five in our congregation. Ranjith suggested a week ago that we should have a
name for the congregation in the remand prison. We prayed and found a name – ‘Jesu Nivasa’
(House of Jesus”. All were happy that Jesus is living among them and in them. House of Jesus
became a pleasant place. Room 134 became the place for the Christians to come and worship that
is where I stayed.
My penis gives a pain – also it’s scratchy. When wants to urinate an unbearable pain comes. I drink
lot of water. Can’t wear trousers, when it touches I feel the pain. Many have this health problem.
They scratch and injure the penis. I saw in some where blood comes because they have scratched
so much. Can this be for food? Isn’t there a standard of food that should be given to the prisoners?
Does this scratchy effect come from a chemical or toxic mixture with the food? Health authorities
cannot ignore this problem as good health is a right of every citizen in the country. The kitchen
utensils should be experimented to see whether any chemical gets mixed with the food. When can
a solution be expected? Until such time prisoners will keep on scratching their private parts.
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04 March 2010
Suren sat beside me. Time 10.00 p.m.
“Brother, there’s something important that I want to discuss with you. Something really important
to my life. When I go out I want to get married. Now I’m 35 years”.
“You have taken a very important decision”.
“Yes, my mother tried her best to find a partner for me but she couldn’t. You know it’s difficult to
find a wife”. I smiled.
“So you need a wife?”
“Of course”.
“Let me ask you a question: why do you need a wife?”
In a serious mood he started to explain.
“The main thing I need a wife is to satisfy my sexual needs. She should be able to love me
passionately. She should be faithful to me. Also my wife should keep the house clean. She should
wash my clothes and even should look after my mother. She should get up early and cook, so that I
could leave for work early. Yes, she should be a good cook. She should do the marketing, bring
everything, vegetables and meat, I can’t be bothered running for such things. Her food should be
tasty, that I am much concerned”.
“Is that all?” I asked with a smile.
“No, no, there’s some more. When I am sick she should be able to care for me. Also she should join
me when I go on trips. She should be social enough. When I talk with my friends she should not
interfere and give me due respect by staying beside me silently. I want her to show as a real
woman. She should wear sarees so that other men will not keep on eyeing at her. Her modesty is
important. Also with the children she should always keep an eye on them to make sure that they
don’t get injured or fall sick....”
“Let me ask you something. How many kids would you like to have?”
“That is very important. I think two would be the best. Even if my wife wants more I will not allow
her to have more than two. This is why I want her to be sensitive towards my sexual needs. She
should think about birth control. It is her responsibility. I don’t want more children. She should look
after them as the apple of my eye. There schooling, food, medicine, free time, everything should be
looked after very well. Even I want my wife to be very thrifty. She should not spend too much. I will
give her the money when she wants and she should keep a strict control on expenses. As she is not
going for any job, she should be concerned about my pay and do the house work accordingly. She
should do everything according to a schedule so that she will not run out of money”.
“Isn’t it better for her to work since these days the expenditure is so high?” I just inquired.
“No, no, a wife for me means a housewife. A wife is meant for all this. I am the breadwinner and
she should respect me and care for my family. When I tell her something she should attend to that.
Otherwise what’s the point in having a wife. She should not go against my orders. I must tell you,
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when I saw the film on Gandhi I thought that I should have a wife like Gandhi’s. Because she was so
abiding and did everything. Even she cleaned the toilets. I can remember that incident in the film
where Gandhi got her to clean the toilets. This means that she should respect her husband’s social
work and be a support to him. She can’t be just wasting time watching television like most of the
women these days. She can watch television if she wants after finishing all her work. Since I don’t
like to watch television why should she sit in front of it? She should talk with me. She should report
to me of the day’s work. Because I am the planner in the house. It is according to my plans that the
house should run”.
“Why can’t she be part of your planning or share her thoughts with you?”
“That I don’t believe. What thoughts have they got? Can they think of earning like us? We are
strong and powerful. We can move anywhere. We know people. Women are meant to stay at
home”.
“So is that all that you want of a wife?”
“Some more things are there. Since I need clean clothes, ironed properly, she should be able to do
all that. I like cleanliness. Washing is one of the important things. She should wash my clothes
properly and iron them and if necessary mend them. I will buy new clothes for me when I feel so.
Because I like to be in clean suit”.
Oh God, what an expectation!
Let women talk of this!
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05 March 2010
Someone visited me.
“Have you listened to the advice given earlier? You give up your God, only then you will have a free
life....a better life....”
I shouted, “my faith is in Jesus, not in a better life. I am prepared to bear the cross that Jesus
carried....and I am carrying it, with all the revile from the world....let anyone laugh at me...let
anyone scorn, let anyone leave me, let anyone kill me, but no one can kill my soul other than my
God Almighty. Go away!”
‘Count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies
about you…. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble’39.
39
Jesus in Matthew 5:11 (The Message)
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06 March 2010
M. came to see me. As she knows jailor B. she had the opportunity of coming inside. He told M.
About the heat and smell that comes from the L hall. According to him they cannot bear that heat
and the smell when they open the iron gates in the morning to count the remand prisoners. In twos
the prisoners have to come out and the heat gushes out with that stinking smell. Together with that
stench goes a dust whirling and covering everyone. ‘Prisoners are Humans’ a slogan which is there
in the front wall for the whole world to see becomes a sham. Health officers need to have periodic
visits and ensure good health of the prisoners. Good Health is part of Millennium Development
goals the country has to achieve. The prisoners are in such unhealthy conditions and the
responsible authorities should change the conditions to accept prisoners as humans. L hall clearly
depicts the subhuman treatment received by the prisoners. In the post-modern world L hall reflects
the backwardness of the State.
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07 March 2010
I had my morning bath and came to enter from the main door of the L hall when I saw the beauty of
the screen of sunlight that comes from the iron grill at the back wall of the building. I stopped at the
main door and gazed at the beauty...the beauty that God has created...dust moving up and down in
the light...a curtain that falls just fifteen feet inside the wall..bit of an angular shape is visible in this
curtain. I could see those who are bathed in that light as actors on a stage....the drama has
commenced...One is bending to get water from the tank...another is standing with a towel shouting
to someone in the first floor and two others bathing from barrels. Another old man with his raised
sarong walking to the toilet...some others also visible moving about...what a beautiful scene
created through the natural light....a wonderful scenic designer, our God Almighty is!
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08 March 2010
Surith’s story
“Brother, I am a Catholic but my mother took me to Mutwal, Kali kovil. She kept a lamp to Kali. I,
too, worshiped. My father didn’t like this. He prayed in English but my mother had pictures of Kali,
Jesus, Mary and Vishnu framed and hung on the wall. We brought incense sticks. Our house also
smells like a kovil. I think now I have done something wrong. I engaged in murders. One day I killed
a man and his brain fell near my legs. All because of Kali, that devil of a woman! Satan was living
with me!
“Yes, you are right; Satan had a control on you. He made you to worship him and not the Lord God.
You know Satan stays very close to us”.
I took the Bible to my hand. See in Genesis 4:7 it says, ‘If you do what is right, will you not be
accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but
you must master it’.
“Unfortunately I had to come to the prison to understand that I could kill it”.
“Yes, most of us don’t understand this truth. Also Jesus is there near the door to your soul. He
wants to enter in. But you have kept the door closed for him. So how could He enter? He just
stands and wait there knocking and knocking…..’Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone
hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me’40.
“Oh, my gosh, what a mistake we have made?”
“Not only that , statue worshiping is something completely contrary to the Bible. When you worship
statues Satan loves that. Because you worship the craftsmanship of man and have completely
forgotten the Creator. Jesus clearly said when Satan tried to deceive Him, ‘‘Away from me, Satan!
For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only. 41’ That was the first vital
commandment Jesus gave”.
“Brother, this is a serious matter now. We went and lighted candles in some churches. And my
mother said that some saints or angels help us”.
“Don’t you think that Satan has guided your whole family? God doesn’t want candles from you.
Also those spirits you call saints or angels cannot give any help to you other than God. It is clearly
said in the Bible. People go worshiping the idols, thinking the saints or angels come to help but truly
I say such idolatry is the work of Satan and you move away from God and finally Satan brings you
here and your mother loses you”.
He started crying.
40
Revelation 3:20 (New International Version)
41
Matthew 4.10
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“My mother is no more. And for the past six years I was here. My case is no dated. There is no
hope. I don’t know what will happen to me”.
“Don’t worry. Let’s pray. God will look after you. He has not abandoned you. Even if you are in the
hell, He is with you. Now your repentance is important. Talk to God, be with Him”.
“Brother, will He accept my prayers? I don’t know to pray”.
“I will teach you how to pray. There is time. Now that you have learnt the truth be with it”.
‘Be humble then before God... You are sinners: get your hands clean again. Your loyalty is
divided: get your hearts made true once more. You should be deeply sorry, you should be
grieved, and you should even be in tears. Your laughter will have to become mourning; your
high spirits will have to become dejection. You must humble yourself in the sight of the Lord
before he will lift you up’42.
42
James 4:7-10
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Idolatry or forgetting God Alone
When Anything or Anybody Gets What God Alone Deserves
Ex 20:3-4 (NIV) “You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in
the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.”
God destroys idols; He is the greatest iconoclast. Even good things can become idols, and while
reveling and boasting seem good at the time, it is a grave disservice to idolize anything or anybody.
The result is God’s wrath, on you and the idol. God will not be eclipsed.
2 Kings 18:3-4 Hezekiah did right in the sight of the Lord... He broke in pieces the bronze serpent
that Moses had made, for until then the Israelites had burned incense to it; but he called it
Nehushtan [a brazen trifle].
James 4:5 ‘Surely you don’t think the Scripture is wrong when it says: the spirit which He sent to live
in us wants us for himself alone?’
The Lust for Idols–A Matter of the Heart
James 4:3-4 ‘You don’t get what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And when you do ask
he doesn’t give it to you, for you ask in quite the wrong spirit–you only want to satisfy your own
desires. You are like unfaithful wives, never realizing that to be the world’s lover means becoming
the enemy of God! Anyone who chooses to be the world’s friend is thereby making himself God’s
enemy.
Colossians 3:5-6 ‘that is why you must kill everything in you that belongs only to earthly life:
fornication, impurity, guilty passion, evil desires and especially greed, which are the same thing as
worshipping a false god. All this sort of behavior makes God angry. (also refer Ephesians 5:5)
Ezekiel 6:8-9 “...How I have been grieved by their adulterous hearts, which have turned away from
me, and by their eyes, which have lusted after their idols. They will loathe themselves for the evil
they have done and for all their detestable practices.”
Deuteronomy 29:18 ‘Make sure there is no man or woman, clan or tribe among you today
whose heart turns away from the Lord our God to go and worship the gods of those nations; make
sure there is no root among you that produces such bitter poison’. (See also through verse 29.)
But Everyone Else Is Doing It...
2 Kings 17:15 ‘they rejected his decrees and the covenant he had made with their fathers and the
warnings he had given them. They followed worthless idols and they became worthless.
They imitated the nations around them although the Lord had ordered them, “Do not do as they
do,” and they did the things the Lord had forbidden them to do’.
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2 Kings 17:40-41 ‘They would not listen, however, but persisted in their former practices. Even
while these people were worshipping the Lord, they were serving their idols. To this day their
children and grandchildren continue to do as their fathers did’.
1 Coronthians 10:7 ‘ Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: “The people sat
down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry.”
Public Image–Making Idols of Men

Ezekiel 8:12 He said to me, “Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel are
doing in the darkness, each at the shrine of his own idol?”
1 Corinthians 12:1-2 (NIV) ...I do not wish you to be ignorant... somehow or other you were
influenced and led astray to dumb idols.
Jeremiah 2:5 This is what the Lord says: “What fault did your fathers find in me, that they strayed so
far from me? They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves.”
Psalms 97:7 All who worship images are put to shame, those who boast in idols...
1 Sam 12:21 Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue
you, because they are useless.
Isaiah 57:12-13 “I will expose your righteousness and your works, and they will not benefit you.
When you cry out for help, let your collection [of idols] save you! The wind will carry all of them off;
a mere breath will blow them away. But the man who makes me his refuge will inherit the land and
possess my holy mountain.”
Isaiah 42:8 “I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to
idols.”
Do We Take Idolatry As Seriously As God?
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ‘Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not
be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor
homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy...’
Would You Qualify For This “Mark” In God’s “Temple” Today?
2 Corinthians 6:16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the
temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be
their God, and they will be my people.”
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09 March 2010
From the day we commenced our prayers, now three and half months have lapsed and with the
Bible readings and discussions, the congregation has become strengthened in the Word of God. I
am not sure whether the Christian in the outside will grasp the depth of the Bible in the manner the
prisoners interpret it. Each word is discussed as their conscience says that they are criminals. They
have accepted the fact that they have committed a crime. They know that they are sinners.
Therefore they know that Jesus is guiding them. They educate themselves through the Bible. My
task was to pour the love of Jesus on them. Through the Word it happens. The Holy Spirit works in
an inexplicable manner.
“Who needs a doctor:
the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means:
‘I’m after mercy, not religion.’
I’m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders. 43”
43
Matthew 9:13 (The Message)
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10 March 2010
Ramal came to me. He looked a bit perplexed.
“Brother, I want to tell you a secret. Please listen. When I came here only I got involved in this. I
became a homosexual – a gay. Now I am with a person in my room -. He loves me. Sometimes he
bathes me. He loves my body. The very first day it was a bit embarrassing when he came to me. But
gradually he won me. Now I can’t give up. I am married. When I go out I don’t know whether I’ll be
able to stay with my wife. I am a Christian. I know you can understand me. When I think of my wife
a tinge of pain creeps in. If she comes to know of this how can I face her? I am a man. All these days
I couldn’t tell you this. How can I ask God to pardon me for this sin I commit? I know He will punish
me one day. Brother, I want your help. Help me....”
He was very excited.
“You could do one thing. Talk to you friend. Tell him that all this is enough. Have a friendly talk with
your friend, he will definitely accept you”.
“Will he?”
“Of course. You are going to have a friendly chat. So he will not be an enemy for you. The friendship
is important”.
What men imagine women think of them
‘Women have always been seen by [heterosexual men] as their exclusive property... Heterosexual
men felt that if they practiced homosexuality with other men this would destroy what they think is
their image in the eyes of their women. They think of themselves as existing in the minds of women
as master. They think that the idea of their submitting to another man, of being under another man
in the act of love, would destroy their image in the eyes of women. Men think that women can only
experience pleasure in recognizing men as masters.’
Michel Foucault, ‘Sexual choice, sexual act’, in Foucault Live (Interviews, 1961-1984), New York:
Semiotext(e), p. 331. French original 1982.
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11 March 2010
Suriya’s testimony
“I was a Hindu, and I went to the kovil44, and one day I was told to come to the ‘House of Jesus”. It
was brother Ranjith who first told me that Jesus is living and He loves aus all. My wife was not well,
as you all know, with high fever and diarrhoea. She didn’t have money to go to the doctor. You
prayed for her. She called me, she has completely recovered. I thank Jesus. I was really worried. He
helped us!”
My penis has got swollen. Painful. I can’t tell anyone. Unbearable. I do not know the reason for this
but how long am I going to suffer like this? What has caused this? I ate tomatoes. Can it be for that?
One night they gave tomato juice with beans. I have doubts. What can I do now? Tears come
down...helpless..I wore the sarong...God...I prayed....’Help me Jesus, I can’t bear this pain...cure me
Jesus, Amen!’
Mike has got one thousand five hundred rupees from his room mate. I was happy when I heard
that. But his room mate revealed a secret. Mike had consumed drugs for that full amount. What
happens next would be god’s punishment. In the Holy word it says ‘your second situation will be
worse that n the first situation’.
44
Hindu temple.
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12 March 2010
“I don’t believe in God. We pray, but what has he done for us? Nothing”, Sisira, a young man told
me. Now for seven years I was in this remand. He has left me”.
“You sound the way the Israel’s responded to God. They said, ‘The LORD has forsaken the land, and
the LORD does not see (Esk.9.9)’. But, no, the God has not given you up. I feel that we don’t
understand the way He loves us. It is that we are in a hurry and when the answer does not come at
the time we expect we get weary. Then creeps in the disbelief. Do you know what He said to the
Israelis? ”None of my words will be delayed any longer, but the word that I speak will be fulfilled”
(Esk.12.28). So have faith in Him. Let me tell you something. You stayed only for seven years in this
remand and you have got fed up of Him, but there was a man near the pool in Bethesda who had
been a cripple for thirty eight years. It was only after thirty eight years he got the answer. Think
about the patience he had. On top of everything he had hope. This is the difference between you
and him”.
“Yes, no hope. You are right”.
“Today you must read the Bible. There’s this story of the crippled man in Bethesda. After reading
this story tell me what you felt”. I gave him my Bible to read.
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13 March 2010
I had a study on the story of the crippled man (John 5.1-18) with Sisira.
“So you read the story?”
“Oh, yes, just couldn’t believe. There had been many sick people near the pool and they had been
waiting for the moving of the waters”.
“Yes, they were waiting for an angel to come to do that job, an unseen angel, but they lacked one
thing...faith in Jesus. If we ask this question: why did Jesus go only to that man? Can you imagine?”
Sisira was guessing but he couldn’t give any answer. “It was because he was the only person who
was not expecting the support of an angel. He’s the only one to have faith in Jesus. So it was the
mercy of Jesus he was expecting. See, for thirty eight years he was waiting to meet Jesus. He had
neither friends nor family. Think about your situation now....seven years without friends and
relatives....For some sin he had committed he had become lame and what does Jesus tell him: ‘Now
don’t sin as you did before, or something even worse may happen to you’. So you must understand
that Jesus forgave his sins and healed the man. Out of all those sick people who were there near
the pool it was only him that Jesus healed. So you must understand that God works according to His
plans and laws. That man’s sickness and your plight is nothing but a symbol of our struggle in this
world which is ruled by the results of sin. Satan has touched all of us. So our difficulties remind us
that we are humans and we are forced to believe in God. You must note that there is no suffering in
heaven. It is told in Revelations 21.4 that “He shall wipe away every tear, there shall be no death, or
pain, or sickness, or crying; for these former things have passed away”. In fact, we should repent
for the sins, whether they are small or big, we have committed. I know it is impossible for us to
repent and quit sinning. But it is through our repentance that God could bring about a
transformation in us. That is why Jesus said ‘My Father worketh hitherto, and I work’…..so Jesus is
none other than God Himself. The sick man accepted God and he was healed and in the same
manner He touches you, right now, and heals your soul. Let Him touch you. Open your heart. He’s
there knocking at the door. So have faith in Christ and pray this simple prayer in your heart:
‘Dear Lord, I accept that I am a sinner. I believe Jesus died for my sins on the cross, and rose
again the third day. I repent of my sins. By faith I receive the Lord Jesus as my Savior. You promised
to save me, and I believe You, because You are God and cannot lie. I believe right now that the Lord
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Jesus is my personal Savior, and that all my sins are forgiven through His precious blood. I thank
You, dear Lord, for saving me. In Jesus’ name, Amen’.
I tell you that if you prayed that prayer, God will hear you and save you. Come for prayers in the
evening and you will feel the touch of God”.
There was complete silence.
A moment of deepening the relationship with God.
I knew Jesus touched him.
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14 March 2010
More than twenty persons were answered by Jesus after they attended intercessory prayers in the
‘House of Jesus’ and they went to their dear ones happily.
“Thank you Jesus, Your presence is visible and You, our Living God have extended Your love
to all these prisoners who accepted the Good News. Thank you for using me for the past four
and half months to engage in this ministry through the advocacy of the Holy Spirit to
accomplish the mission you have entrusted to me, Amen”.
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15 March 2010
For three days a prisoner was on the roof top. His wife has taken poison and admitted to hospital.
His mother is also remanded. His little daughter no one knows where. All because his brothers
wanted his property, planned and made them to get entangled in a criminal case. As I came to
know, his house is a ‘walauwa’ (mansion) which costs a lot. The greediness of the brothers made
everyone in the family to get confined in the prison. The Commissioner of prisons had got the
person to come down after three days.
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16 March 2010
Some have lost hope as their loved ones have left them for many reasons. Mainly financial reasons.
Those helpless ones have enormously set themselves going with drugs. Of which reason they give is
‘to commit suicide’. What chaos the system has created? On the other hand there are handfuls that
still maintain hope as they receive visits from their dear ones. They have the hope of seeing them,
talking with them and one day to see a reunion. This is all worldly and they lack a broader vision to
life – a hope in Christ. A much farsighted vision that would never fail anyone.
I was talking on this theme to those who came to ‘House of Jesus’.
“It is necessary that we understand that we are parts of this whole cosmos. The energy that
generates through the interconnection of all parts – planets, water, dust, trees, animals, humans,
etc. – creates a harmony for living. All types of wars disturb this harmony. Vying though courts is
also a disastrous war. So all disturbances lead to hopelessness in survival.
A counter-philosophy is needed, a philosophy in Christ – New Humanity45 – to look hopefully for a

better living. No attacks, no discrimination, no isolation, no segregation, no marginalization, no
devastation....Christ’s philosophy was a great revelation. A removal of all hopelessness. It is a
philosophy that unites the particles of this whole cosmos. A harmonious and a peaceful world. A
world of hope in Christ.
45 th
Refer 26 April 2010 comments.
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17 March 2010
In this remand all nine hundred are either sons, husbands, brothers, or fathers of someone in the
outside and most of them are the breadwinners. Now that they have been put inside the question
always echoes ‘who looks after the dear ones in the outside?’ Answer is ‘no one’. No one is
bothered about them. What caring the society has towards those families? Do the politicians, law
makers, priests, authorities care about them? What plan the State has for such families? Are they
left to suffer in hunger and poverty? What about the education of those children? Do they need to
be victimized and left in despair? Do those families need to be left shattered? What remedies are
there? The crimino-legal system and the society has a deep chasm. A division that will lead to many
problems. Therefore a unification of these two institutions would help in healing the society at
large. Otherwise, as my survey revealed, wives and daughter are compelled to go for prostitution,
boys go for thieving and aged mothers and fathers go begging and so the legal system has
contributed towards a failed State.
The prisoner is at least looked after by the prison system, but the kith and kin of the accused have
been victimized in a grave manner. Are we talking about a caring society these days?
For a country’s developmental plans don’t these factors need to be taken into consideration? From
where can we start humanizing the society?
A country with a community of forgotten citizens.
Some think that they are good and righteous whereas those who are inside are bad.
An eye of scorn is always directed at the prisoner and his family.
So what values do govern this society?
Let me tell that this small community, the forgotten people, prisoners are real humans. They care
for everyone in the prison. Irrespective of religion, social status, wealth, all are brothers, helping
each other at difficult moments. Love and care has reached such heights!
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18 March 2010
A question of karma arose when Hasitha, a Buddhist, mentioned that everything we face is a result
of our action, in the present life, ore in a past life. In ‘House of Jesus’ when this matter came up
Surith asked ‘what place God has in our lives?’ Quite a prudent question. All what we do and what
has happened to us is for none other than for the glory of God. That was my explanation and I took
the story of ‘True Blindness’: ‘Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His
disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?” Jesus
said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such
cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the
One who sent me here, working while the sun shines’46. It was not for any sin of the man or for his
parents that he was born as a blind man but in order to have the manifestation of God on him that
he became blind. Jesus’ answer was very clear on this point and it has nothing to do with karma. It
is the wish of God Almighty to see that His name is adored by everyone as he is the creator,
planner, decision-maker and the answerer. He is everything.
Should we take, for instance, the story of Gideon, God did not want him to take a massive army to
destroy the enemy of the Israel’s. Instead, He made Gidion to take only three hundred men, a
number less than the enemy army. So it was the planning of God that worked to make Gideon win
the war. God clearly tells that it is to avoid man telling that he won the war, instead God wanted to
show that it is the work of Him. When David went to fight with goliath he mentioned it as a war of
the God. So, in all the sixty six books in the Bible we could see God Almighty giving birth to children,
make them grow, make them heroes, and when they disobey Him, he destroy them, sometimes
send plagues, sometimes as the healer, teacher, guide and the advocate or the judge. It is the Will
of God that is accomplished and it is the Will of the Creator.
So coming into prison also becomes the Will of God, otherwise, there wouldn’t have been a House
of Jesus with this large gathering. Everything is for His glory and so one has to accept the present
conditions thanking and praising Him. In our circumstances He reveals us who we are to others: to
our parents, brothers and sisters, relations, and friends. And this revelation is about love and
relationships. On the basis of this only He would judge47 His children.
46
John 9:1-3 (The Message)
47
Matthew 25.31-46 (The Message) (The complete Bible extract is caged and given on the following page).
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I was in prison and you never visited Me

“When He finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all His angels with Him, the Son of Man will take His
place on His glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before Him and He will sort the
people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to His right and goats to
His left.
“Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s
coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s
why:
I was hungry and you fed me,

I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.’
“Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see
you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in
prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did
one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’
“Then He will turn to the ‘goats,’ the ones on His left, and say, ‘Get out, worthless goats! You’re
good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—
I was hungry and you gave me no meal,

I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited.’
“Then those ‘goats’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see
you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn’t help?’
“He will answer them, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things
to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.’
“Then those ‘goats’ will be herded to their eternal doom, but the ‘sheep’ to their eternal reward.”
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19 March 2010
I could see different hair styles, a variety I must say – long hair that falls down to knees, crew cut
the most famous, classic bobs and sleek simple cuts, traditional Afro type hair, the long and
disheveled look, the messy and textured look, the punk-inspired Mohawk….
Just a simple question: what do women love on a man more than manliness?
Mike has received a three months jail sentence.
I met him in the church. He wanted soap, a towel and toothpaste. I got him all that in the evening.
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20 March 2010
A recollection of a story which I’ve read sometime back:
In USA, in a prison death row there had been a prisoner who had completely given up his life. Hair
grown, unshaven, unbathed, and stinking and the cell, too, had been dirty. He had not spoken a
single word for months. He was not prepared for any human interaction. One day he had been
visited by one of President Nixon’s closest friends – Charles. The man in the death cell had been
listening to Charles. It had been the gospel that Charles had been telling the prisoner and later the
man had been asked to mention the name Jesus. After a few days the man in the cell was found
sitting on a chair, clean shaven, with a nice hair cut and the cell completely tidy. Charles visited him,
found this transformation and had asked what had happened. The man had answered: ‘Jesus lives
here now’. When the day arrived for him to sit on the electric chair, he had uttered these last words
to the executioner: ‘I’m going to be with the Lord’.
‘For there is none other name under heaven given among men,
whereby we must be saved’ (Acts 4.12)
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21 March 2010
Nimal went to Kandy and returned. In the evening prayer session he was supposed to read the Bible
verse. He came out with a real story – what he experienced in the prison bus.
Nimal told that a prostitute who was taken to Kandy in that prison bus had copies of ‘Everyday with
Jesus’48 in her bag and suddenly she had started to talk about the Good News. One prisoner had
jeered at her boldly she had done her preaching and even the guards had been listening attentively
to her, the vibrant way that she has told ‘Jesus came to this world to save us sinners and He was
crucified and was raised after three days, and we are awaiting his next arrival’. She had told that
though she had been a prostitute now that she has completely changed herself with the Word of
Jesus and had warned the prisoner who jeered at her that he will have to answer God on the final
Judgement day.
Nimal said that he was thinking about his cases and that was too much and he had a severe
headache in the bus. In Kadugannawa he had opened the Bible and had read Ephesians 6.10 which
says ‘be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His power ’. That verse had been a great relief for
him.
The final prayer I conducted contained the verse ‘Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy
laden, and I will give you rest 49’ which really had struck Ranjith.
“Brother, today only I realized the strength of the Holy Word”, Ranjith said. He continued, “When
you read the Word while praying it really gave me an answer. Number 1: the Word is a promise.
Number 2: It made me to handover all my troubles to Jesus. This is the moment I realized that Jesus
is there when we are in trouble”.
“Yes, you are right. He is with us”, I said. “The Word is a promise and through that you could
communicate with God. There is no point in uttering thousand and one empty words. And so He is
living among us through the Word. Now see, you are relieved. You must have faith on Him”.
“Yes, my search for what faith means was answered today. All these days our study only gave us
words but Nimal’s experience gave a chance to understand the Word in its complete strength”.
48
Selwyn Hughes
49
Matthew 11:28
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22 March 2010
There had been an argument in Priyath’s room last night.
“Don’t enter into argument. Those who do not believe the Word let them be like that. Don’t let
anyone revile God Almighty. Keep quiet before non-believers. We believe in an unseen God. Our
Living God is Jesus. Through Jesus we have received salvation. If anyone does not wish to accept
this good news, se cannot press them, instead be silent”, I told Priyath who was very upset.
It took three weeks for the swelling in my penis to go down. Thanks be to Lord!
Suku’s wife has sent money from abroad and he has taken drugs for that money and Balu was
completely upset over that.
“Brother, these people don’t understand what difficulties their women face in other countries
doing all sorts of odd jobs. Some of these fellows sell their women and live in this prison. They don’t
mind about their wives prostitution as long as they get money to take drugs. They threaten their
women to give them money. When I go to the visit room I witness such thuggery from this side of
the mesh. They don’t think of the difficulties the women face in the outside world. They need only
drugs. These people even exploit their women who work abroad. No sympathy whatsoever. They
get down ten thousand or fifteen thousand rupees and consume drugs for all that. See what a
disaster it causes. These people like Suku, who prays and reads the Word of God, how can they
behave like this? How many times we have explained to them through the Word? They are digging
their own graves. Why do they have this separation with God? There is a division. They are still not
spiritually strong. What effort we have taken all these months to correct these people? When you
think of this we get fed up. Will they really go out and lead a good life? Once again they will return
to the prison. Is this what we expect here in the ‘House of Jesus’?”
Balu’s internal disturbance was a serious matter to be handled. A challenge to the ‘House of Jesus’.
A defector has been found.
“Let’s try our best...we can’t give up...We should be able to explain to him...but this is not the
moment...let him first come back to normal”, I said.
“They are cheaters. They cheat God. This is not the first time. Many times he cheated God like this”.
“But, let’s pardon him. Let’s allow him to realize that this money is not his. This money is for their
children’s education...If he finishes all the money she sends there’ll be a day that God will give him
punishment. I am sure God will not allow that woman to suffer. Let’s wait for the time; God’s time
is not our time”.
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23 March 2010
Spoke with M. over the phone. She left a document to be translated and I finished it in the morning.
It is really nice that now she has taken an interest in discussing political influence on life. Very
concerned about the Tamils in the north who were affected by war. She has done a write-up after a
visit to Vavuniya. What she tells is that even though the battle50 was over last year, the government
has failed to resettle the Tamils and the picture given through media is false. According to her the
displaced are still being kept as a marginalized community despite President’s proclamation that no
more minorities exist in the country51.
The time I spoke to her she was getting ready to go for a seminar with university students.
I asked her Holy Spirit means to her. She said it is the inner inspiration we get. Then I told her that
my answer to the prisoners is that Holy Spirit is God in Action. She accepted my answer.
I love to listen to her laughter. So charming!
She wanted to know whether my rash is O.K. I told her that in twenty four hours, with the medicine
she brought, the rash disappeared.
I told her to preserve all the letters I sent to her. She’s ready to see them published in the journal.
She has collected all the letters. Good!
In the morning I was fasting and completely concentrated on the translation M needs.
50
The Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam was finally crushed by the government troops on 19 th June 2009.
51
‘Tamils, Muslims, Burghers, Malays and others are not minorities. There are only two categories of people in this
country the people who love this country and the small group who have no love for their Motherland’. - Address at
ceremonial opening of the fourth Parliamentary session 19, May 2009.
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24 March 2010
Mike works in the kitchen party. He’s wearing a torn white shirt and a torn white trouser. He told
me that he will be transferred to the Magazine prison.
He told me that on the very first day, on the eighteenth March he was put with twelve others in
one room to sleep on the naked wooden floor. No shirt; Head shaven; Sweat and touch of others
bodies had given a sickly feeling to him. But now things have changed a little bit as he said.
He loves to read and experience shocking new thoughts but he is still with the thought of finding
the two daughters. I explained that the first thing he should do is to build his life instead of going
behind worldly things.
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25 March 2010
Last night I had a lengthy discussion with Sunil. He has come to the prison, according to him, due to
his wife’s negligence. She has engaged in adultery and he had murdered her. He’s repenting for
what he did. He has two small daughters. According to him the woman had no control of her lust
and therefore she has gone with other men. It was on the road under day light that he had attacked
her with a knife. He feels sorry for the two kids. He said that he didn’t want to do that marriage but
the parent’s forced him to marry her.
I told him that I understand his situation and asked him to be with God. I prayed with him. He creid.
His repentance was such that he dashed his head on the wall.
“Why did I come to this world?” he screamed. Several peeped into the room. I closed the door.
“You came to this world because you were wanted by God. He knows you. More than anyone He
knows you. It is very clearly told in the Bible.
For it was you who formed my inward parts;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
all the days that were formed for me….(Psalms 139.13-16)
What happened had to happen. He is with you. He has chosen you. So be with Him. Nothing will
happen to you. Come join in our prayers and God will answer you”.
“This is all shit. Do you think God can save me from getting condemned?”
“My friend, God created this whole universe. And He created you? What do you think He is? He
knows you very well. Listen to me”. I took the Bible to my hand. “It is told in the Bible like this:
O LORD, you have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down,
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
O LORD, you know it completely.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me. (Psalms 139.1-5)
So you cannot hide from Him. You cannot move away from Him.
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…where can I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
If I take the wings of the morning
and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me… (Psalms 139.7-10)
“Pray for me brother, I still can’t think what will happen to me. For the past four years I was here.
And I don’t know for how long I will have to stay”.
“Don’t worry. Open your soul to Jesus. Remove the stone of agony that covers your soul. Now you
can feel the stench in your soul. It is like the stench that came from Lazarus’s dead body. When you
remove the stone of that cave, your soul, everything will be healed. That is what Jesus did to
Lazarus. You must let Jesus come to you. For that you must now give up all hatred towards your
wife, remove the sorrow, remove all the stones that cover your soul. And invite Jesus so that he wil
be with you, answering you”.
“Will you pray for me brother, now?”
“Of course”.
“Dear Jesus, relieve my brother from the burden he carries. You said in the Holy Word: ‘those who
are heavy laden come unto me, I will give you rest’. Thank you for giving peace to my brother. Guide
him through the Holy Spirit. Be with him now and for always. You are the way, the truth and the life,
Amen”.
“Amen” – a deep tone….tears were falling down his cheeks.
Silence.
“Now He is with you. Take courage. Cheer up my friend”.
He smiled – a little effort was visible. He embraced me.
“I am relieved”.
“Thank Jesus, it is He who brought this smile to you”.
He slowly left the room.
“Good night, come for prayers tomorrow”.
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26 March 2010
We were at prayers in the evening and Nandana came out with a testimony:
“Praise the Lord, today my aunt came whom I never thought will come. She was angry with us. This
is a miracle. She is my wife’s aunt. My wife is a Tamil and because she married me all the relations
cornered us. I have a little girl. She’s three years old and my wife is expecting another baby. She is
due to deliver the baby next month. I was selling drugs. I got caught and there is no cent at home. I
don’t know how they live. But somehow God spoke to this aunt and sent her to see me. She has
come secretly without even telling her husband. When I saw her I praised Lord. I couldn’t imagine.
And the way she spoke to me she is going to help me on the next date in courts. I think she will help
my wife. God is present. I am not scared. All these days when I came for prayers I cried. But today I
am happy. God answered our prayers. Thank you Jesus.
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27 March 2010
A man with wounds all over his body was at the tank just after five buckets of water over his body,
looking at everyone to have a piece of soap to apply on his head but his begging was kept unseen
by everyone. I was watching this scene. Why do people just ignore him? Is it because of the wounds
that cover his body? What thoughts do they have? Do they think that this man is unclean? Can
there be an unclean man in the presence of God?
‘.....everything as it is in itself is holy 52’.
God moved me towards him. I smiled and offered the only tiny piece of soap I had. Soap is very
valuable inside the prison. He looked at me and took the piece of soap with thanking eyes. Oh, he
applied soap on his head, and as I was watching, slowly he applied soap all over his body. He was
happy – Jesus was happy – he returned the piece of soap and showed me some wounds that have
gone deep into his skin – silence crept into me and I prayed – ‘Jesus, heal this man, touch him,
shower your love on him, Amen’. I knew that Jesus was fully in contentment on touching that man
– a moment of living truth – complete bliss in me. Jesus touched him. Our clean thoughts can heal
anyone. Forgive their sins and pray for them. The power of our clean thoughts in Jesus can cure
anyone.
‘Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God’. 53
52
Romans 14.14
53
Matthew. 5.8
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28 March 2010
Today is Palm Sunday.
For the whole of last week I avoided going to the church – the Catholic church, as they (those who
are in charge of it) call it and that their church is not for Bible studies and intercessory prayers. They
prohibited me from conducting collective activities praising Lord.
Today I went to the church at 10.00 a.m. expecting the Anglican priest. However, the Anglican nun
was present and she conducted the prayer service. It was so beautiful to see the remand prisoners,
twenty in number, very actively responding to the nun. She was reading the gospel of Luke and was
explaining how the disciples of Jesus brought a colt, an innocent animal, on which Jesus rode like a
‘king’, people shouting along the road, ‘Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the LORD!
Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!’ and then came the Pharisees to Him and said, “teacher,
rebuke Your disciples”. But He answered them, “I tell you that if these should keep silent, the
stones would immediately cry out”. And then she went on to explain how Jesus observed that the
House of God has been turned into a market place by the merchants and the priests. The nun with
all the vigor said that Jesus exclaimed at those merchants stating “MY HOUSE SHALL BE A HOUSE
OF PRAYER, but you have made it a ROBBERS’ DEN”54. A true statement even in relation to the
prison church.
The important part of this story is that the nun asked, whether ‘this prison church is full of
merchants?” I said, “Yes” to myself. Merchants demanding ‘only the sale of Catholicism’ and ‘the
suppression of other denominations’. Merchants who debar others to read and study the Bible
collectively. Merchants who have made the God’s House their own Catholic church. These people
are merchandising Catholicism. They have created a religio-politic, a politic of power which the
Catholic priest emphasizes at every moment he comes to preach. He talks of the power structure in
his religious institution, he talks of the superiority of Catholicism and he talks of a purity of Catholics
which I couldn’t really understand since I saw only that he was trying to devour ‘Others’ and was
talking not spiritually but just as the man whose values are being passed down to those prisoners
who look after the prison church and who restricted our fellowship with others.
However, let me not judge them as it is not my duty. Let God Almighty make the judgment!
“Father, pardon them for they do not know what they do, Amen!”
Every church is a stone on the grave of a god-man:
It does not want him to rise up again under any circumstances.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
54
Luke 19:46-47 (New American Standard Bible)
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29 March 2010
‘House of Jesus’ has become a centre for rehabilitation and counselling. By now fifteen drug addicts
have been completely rehabilitated and kept under the word of God. Almost twenty five to thirty
persons brought their burning issues for which answers were sought through the Word. At time, I
myself had to write letters for them to dispatch to their homes. All these letters contained how
much they have changed by accepting the Word of God and asking home people to engage in
prayers. The truth is that home people suspect of whether a real change has taken place in these
people. I know there were many instances where the ex-drug addicts mention of their change, the
families were not prepared to believe that. However, continuous telephone conversations helped
them to convince the home people of this transformation. Visits increased and many went out after
keeping bail because of the changes they showed to their home people.
‘House of Jesus” became a place for those who seek change. I listened, endlessly listened to the
stories, visited rooms to pray and saw many crying, brought peace through the Word of God. This
brought me joy. And this is the Christian joy – Jesus, Others and You. The inner calmness was built
through morning meditation sessions which helped everyone to alleviate their burdens. My endless
prayers and meditation to get more and more closer to my spiritual Father was answered through
Living Jesus. It was the Holy Spirit of the Living Jesus who spoke to me and guided me. I read and
read the book of Acts....which I consider as the Acts of the Holy Spirit. I left my self to be controlled
by the all powerful Holy Spirit and so I was able to endure all difficulties inside this prison and
engage in the mission.
I was proud when people called me father, pastor or brother, but I never considered myself
superior to them. However, I knew that the Holy spirit has made everyoine to get attracted towards
me. I f the Holy Spirit didn’t work in that way I wouldn’t have been able to start a mission like this.
Then I would have been as same as others eating, drinking and sleeping. From the very first day,
that is seventeenth November last year, I was selected....no, before this wold was created I was
selected in Jesus Christ to make this mission realized.
‘I became like a person weak in faith to win those who are weak in faith. I have become
everything to everyone in order to save at least some of them. I do all this for the sake of the
Good News in order to share what it offers 55.’
55
1 Corinthians 9:22-23 (GOD’S WORD Translation)
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30 March 2010
“My dear, any news?”
“Yes, many...many have joined the congregation. Their faith is immense...Holy Spirit listens to them
and they are being answered. Continuous praise for Lord God”.
“Good. You have accomplished your task. God is happy. You need to get ready now”.
“Ready to....?”
“...to come out”.
“Yes, the days are nearing. Less than one month. I need to now finalize things. There has to be a
leader for them...a spiritual leader...they should be assured of the place for prayers...more than
that House of Jesus needs to continue...”
“It is God who made the congregation grow and He will ensure of its continuity. When you come
out the Holy Spirit will guide them, and answer them and make them prepared”.
“Yes, God’s plan will be as it is, and I am here to make it a reality”.
“He is pleased with you. Everyday in heaven He says, ‘he is my son, I am pleased wit h him’”.
I was elated.
I looked at the sky...the blue shiny sky...white clouds...angels moving slowly looking at me...looking
at us....prisoners!
“Good bye!” I murmured.
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31 March 2010
The difficulty of spending the day is what the remand prisoners psychologically face. Television for
some, drugs for others. After lunch the day is almost over for the prisoners.
Balu was praying using thousand and one words. I showed him that it is not worth spending so
many words. I read Matthew 6.6-9 which says, ‘But when you pray, go into your room, close the
door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will
reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be
heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need
before you ask him’. I showed him the importance of using the Word of God when praying.
I thought I must prepare a note. A note on love. All these days I was just talking and preaching
about God’s love– so I took the Bible to my hand and started to work.
God’s love in Greek is called Agape. From whom do we get love? From God. All those who are in
love are from god. And they know god. The one who doesn’t love does not know God. Because God
is love. Why do we say God loves us? Because He gave His only son to this world. So for our sins He
gave His lovable son and paid a price. God loves us so much. Do we love God? Yes or no and how?
‘Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God
and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love’56.
It is necessary that we get in touch with our spiritual Father in heart, soul and mind57. Our love
needs to be spiritual. Spirituality is the faith that lies at the depth of ones soul. No cheating, no
doubt, no sin and only the advancement towards a higher realm, a realm of happiness where
everyone is safe. Love is to create a safe haven for everyone.
When you say ‘I love God’ are you prepared to do one thing? To obey his commands. To love God
means to abide by the laws He has given. ‘Love one another as I love you’, says God 58. He
emphasizes His command in verse 17: ‘this is what I order you: love one another’. And then He says
‘If you love one another, then all will come to know that you are a follower of mine 59’.
Now once again check yourselves. He presents you a challenge. Are you ready to accept that
challenge? If you love Him you are faced with challenges. A challenge that you have never thought
of. Love towards God means taking up a task. So love is not just a passive sentiment. It is active and
creative, motivating and transforming. Love towards God means to change the world through
healing, helping and caring. It is the task to bring His lost sheep, sheep that has gone astray, back to
Him. No Christian can have comfort zones. Abandon all comfort and tread in the path of risk and
uncertainty. God orders so: ‘You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the
56
1 John 4:7-10 (New American Standard Bible)
57
‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’ (Matthew 22.37)
58
John 15.12
59
John 13.35
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choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. You have not strengthened the weak or healed
the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You
have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and
when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. My sheep wandered over all
the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one
searched or looked for them60’. Now reflect on what path you have taken: have you looked for the
lost sheep and brought them to God? Have you been active in the love of God? Jesus says: ‘Father
doesn’t want to lose even one of his simple believers’ 61.
So it is this Great Love that flows from God. Not a single one should be left to perish. We need to
re-read the verse in Ezekiel’s book and think what action we have formulated for this task of
rescuing the Children of God. Have you ever thought about prisons, correction centers and
rehabilitation centers? You will face objections when you unconditionally love the children of God.
There can be moments of uncertainty. Problems will come on you. And that is what Jesus faced. He
loved sinners. He loved all of us as we are sinners. And that is why He even asks you to ‘love your
enemy’. That is Christian love. And that is what Christ taught us. We need to disseminate this Word:
LOVE.
We are proud that we got the opportunity to LOVE the prisoners. Now I could reflect on the very
first day that He looked at me from the cross. He said ‘right now you are with me in the paradise’
and that was His love for me and the expectation of the radiation of that love towards the other
prisoners: the task was entrusted and was put into action. Love in action not just in L hall but to the
whole world through this journal.
‘Shepherd God’s flock, for whom you are responsible. Watch over them because you want to, not
because you are forced. That is how God wants it. Do it because you are happy to serve, not because
you want money. Do not be like a ruler over people you are responsible for, but be good examples
to them. Then when Christ, the Chief Shepherd, comes, you will get a glorious crown that will never
lose its beauty’62.
‘Lord, help me see the heartfelt needs
Of those within my care,
And grant that through my words and deeds
Your love with them I’ll share’63.
60
Ezekiel 34.3-6
61
Matthew 18.14
62
1 Peter 5:2-4 (New Century Version)
63
Authored by D. De Haan
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st
01 April 2010
I was walking in the hot sun. I was getting myself scorched. But didn’t feel the heat. There was
something boiling from within. My both hands were at the chin and I was gazing at a swarm of red
ants carrying a carcase of a cockroach. A loneliness crept into me. I was thinking how dead I was.
What was it that made me to think like this? I was wondering. The cockroach being carried in the
procession. Am I being carried by everyone around me like this, killed? What’s this, O God? I was
pondering. I was yearning for ‘something’ that I never received. It pierces me, hurts me, from my
small days to date. Emptiness....lack of a complete life....the gift of a spiritual life that I was yearning
for. My parents, relations, friends and my family were capable of fulfilling that in my life. They were
not spiritual but worldly and biological. Stern and rough, the relationships looked very dry and
distraught. Really superficial and had no inner meaning. These worldly relationships have brought
no sense to my life. It was this senselessness that made me to feel the emptiness. But in a flash I
heard the sound of God – ‘This is the way; walk in it.’
Yes, I know, you, you are with me”, I spoke to the depth of my soul.
“I am with you. I love you. I walk with you. Even if anyone leaves you, I will never leave you”.
“Thank you Jesus”.
I heard this voice and I spoke with that voice. In silence, under the scorching sun I had a dialogue….I
let the Holy Spirit to give my thoughts back to me and answer them. The Holy Spirit has protected
my thoughts…He knew my thoughts and He knew the answers. So it was His love that wiped out
the emptiness in me….He is the sun that bathed my whole body with a warm love….He built in me
the confidence….and He showed me what He has given me…
“The love you search is here….in building the kingdom of God….and for the past four and a half
months you have made the love I gave to you shone brightly among the lost sheep. So be happy”.
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4)
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nd
02 April 2010
Examining the making of the crimino-citizen is vital to know how the circumstances lead to form the
full portrait of the person. A citizen-member is part and parcel of the citizen-society. One becomes a
citizen of a country either by birth or by registration. Such citizen-member absorbs and digests
everything that passes down to him from the citizen-society. Therefore, the environment of the
citizen or the social factor, from the birth of the person intrudes into him/her and moulds the
character. The binaries such as good and bad, right and wrong, truth and false, etc., enters
relatively into the persons thoughts under diverse circumstances such as education, social status,
employment, recreation and gender.
The self-narratives I received from those who spoke to me proved that they were part of citizen-
society and it was this social influence which had finally given them the branding of ‘criminal’.
It is clearly understood that the citizen-society has its power structures designed according to the
wealth, education and family backgrounds. This structural formation amounts to a class formation
and citizen-elites find it easy to have power over the underprivileged, uneducated, and
marginalized. This domination could be simply called as exploitation since it amounts to be mental
and physical exploitation of the citizen under desperate circumstances.
The exploitation is not termed as vice by the crimino-legal system and therefore the citizen-elite are
always secured. Therefore, it amounts to a system of elite legality through which more cases are
facilitated to be filed and more citizens – exploited and less privileged – are sent to jail. The voice of
the less privileged citizen is kept silent under the sharp teeth of law. Equality is shattered under
democracy since the underprivileged citizen does not have a chance to say why vice entered him or
how he was indulged in vice by the citizen-society. The law book does not ask such questions, but
willingly listens to the powerful citizen-elites of their representations as to how innocent and pure
they are.
A class conflict is clearly visible in the crimino-legal system for which nobody has paid much
attention but struggles to build more and more prisons, so that more and more citizens could be
imprisoned. The power and the knowledge of law is thus to harass the citizens who are being
exploited but not to root out the vice from this earth. This power play in the society is thus
elaborated by Foucault64: ‘there is not, therefore, a criminal nature, but a play of forces which,
according to the class to which individuals belong, will lead them to power or to prison: if born poor,
today’s magistrates would no doubt be in the convict-ships; and the convicts, if they had been well
born, ‘would be presiding in the courts and dispensing justice’. In his book Foucault further quotes
from the French newspaper La Phalange65 of how the criminality has received its class culture:
‘licensed prostitution, direct material theft, house-breaking, murder, brigandage for the lower
classes’ while skilful spoliation, indirect, refined theft, clever exploitation of human cattle, carefully
planned and brilliantly executed betrayals, transcendent pieces of sharp practice in short, all the
truly elegant vices and lucrative crimes which the law is far too polite to interrupt remain the
monopoly of the upper classes (emphasis in bold letters is mine).’
64
Foucault, M. Discipline and Punish (1977), pg. 289.
65 st
1 December 1838.
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Woe to you, Guardians of Law!66
 ‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you lock people out of the kingdom of
heaven. For you do not go in yourselves, and when others are going in, you stop them. Woe
to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cross sea and land to make a single
convert, and you make the new convert twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.
 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows’ houses, and pray at
length as a pretense.
 ‘Woe to you, blind guides, who say, “Whoever swears by the sanctuary is bound by nothing,
but whoever swears by the gold of the sanctuary is bound by the oath.” You blind fools! For
which is greater, the gold or the sanctuary that has made the gold sacred? And you say,
“Whoever swears by the altar is bound by nothing, but whoever swears by the gift that is on
the altar is bound by the oath.” How blind you are! For which is greater, the gift or the
altar that makes the gift sacred? So whoever swears by the altar, swears by it and by
everything on it; and whoever swears by the sanctuary, swears by it and by the one who
dwells in it; and whoever swears by heaven, swears by the throne of God and by the one
who is seated upon it.
 ‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint, dill, and cumin, and have
neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. It is these you
ought to have practiced without neglecting the others. You blind guides! You strain out a
gnat but swallow a camel!
 ‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of
the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First
clean the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may become clean.
 ‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which
on the outside look beautiful, but inside they are full of the bones of the dead and of all
kinds of filth. So you also on the outside look righteous to others, but inside you are full of
hypocrisy and lawlessness.
 ‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You snakes, you brood of vipers! How can
you escape being sentenced to hell? Therefore I send you prophets, sages, and scribes,
some of whom you will kill and crucify, and some you will flog in your synagogues and
pursue from town to town, so that upon you may come all the righteous blood shed on
earth….
66
Gospel of Matthew 23.13-36
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rd
03 April 2010
Two cases came to me in the evening.
Case 1 Surith brought Ahmed for prayers. Ahmed’s wife has eloped and the small child is left
helpless at home with her grandmother. Ahmed was completely upset. He couldn’t see anyway out
from the matter.
“Brother, help me, pray for me, I am helpless. I am worried about my daughter. I don’t know how
she will live. She’s only seven years old. My mother can’t do any work. She has a problem in her
spine. That woman destroyed the whole family. Why this happened to me, I don’t know”.
“Don’t worry, I understand your situation. Have faith in god. He will answer you”.
We prayed for him and he was relieved.
Case 2 Last afternoon Lloyd had hammered a chap for stealing his mobile phone.
This evening Ranjith brought a young chap, dark in complexion, age around twenty seven years.
He’s Muttu who got thrashed last afternoon from Lloyd.
For eight years this boy has been in the remand for a murder case and he’s completely left alone
without anyone coming to see him from home. He’s a Tamil, a Hindu and is from Thalawakele close
to Nuwara Eliya.
It was he who has asked Ranjith to show the prayer room as he had no other way to turn except to
Jesus.
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th
04 April 2010
Last night we prayed in Lloyd’s room. Time – 10.00 p.m. And it was a moment of getting ourselves
prepared to receive Holy Communion on the following day – Easter Sunday – that is today. The
moment was a soul searching moment where everyone poured out all the sins they have
committed. Sme were crying...it was a moment that as Jesus said ‘repent and turn towards God and
you are saved”. I felt that it was only a prisoner who really feels that he has committed a wrong.
Milliions of outsiders may not have that same feeling because they are in the free world... Here, not
even in a church or even before a priest, but before unseen God they poured their soul out. What
an experience to be truthful before the face of God....a branded criminal in front of God repenting
endlessly...Finally, a moment of contentment...a joy...a joy being in Jesus...saints...! What other
word the Holy Bible has given to these branded criminals....Saints!
It was lightening in the afternoon. Lightning and thundering...I was listening to the sound
carefully...God is talking to me...a flash of light and a thunderbolt...what wonderful language...from
the sky to the earth....what message is He passing to me on this Easter Sunday, I was
wondering...another thunder struck...my ears got blocked...an inner voice spoke to me...”Get ready
my son, your time has come to move out...” A happiness crept into me...another twenty three
days....Flash...thunder....”Thank you Jesus”.
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05 April 2010
Kumar spoke about ‘Transformation in Life” after prayers. He commented that many are weak to
have a change in their lives. Especially in the prison, even people among us who come to pray.
There are some who use bad language when communicating with others and also go behind ‘local
beedi’. He said that Jesus gave life because of us and His resurrection should mean a new life to us.
Therefore, all bad habits should be wiped out and when we leave this prison we should go as new
people. Ranjith, Kamal and Priyath were shaken by this speech but others in the congregation
agreed with what Kumar said. He further said that some of our friends are still not strong enough to
engage in a fasting prayer because their thoughts run to food and local beedi. He showed that if we
are not strong in spirit to control ourselves how could we build a strong spiritual life. Lloyd said that
Hindus fast for seven days and they drink only water and that is towards evening. So Kumar said
that when we go out it is the strength of our spirituality that will help us to lead a better life in
Jesus. But most people think of jobs, money, status and property whereas Jesus wants us to build
his kingdom and for that primarily we should love ourselves, clean ourselves of thought and deed
and widen our horizon to our neighbour – friends and most of all enemies.
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If you have an unbelieving husband or wife....
Actually, the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and an unbelieving wife is made
holy because of her husband. Otherwise, their children would be unacceptable to God, but now
they are acceptable to him. But if the unbelieving partners leave, let them go. Under these
circumstances a Christian man or Christian woman is not bound by a marriage vow. God has called
you to live in peace. How do you as a wife know whether you will save your husband? How do you
as a husband know whether you will save your wife?
Everyone should live the life that the Lord gave him when God called him. This is the guideline I use
in every church.
Do you have a wife? Don’t seek a divorce. Are you divorced from your wife? Don’t look for another
one.
This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time has been shortened. While it lasts, those who
are married should live as though they were not. Those who have eyes filled with tears should live
as though they have no sorrow. Those who are happy should live as though there was nothing to be
happy about. Those who buy something should live as though they didn’t own it. Those who use
the things in this world should do so but not depend on them. It is clear that this world in its
present form is passing away.
So I don’t want you to have any concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the
Lord, that is, about how he can please the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:14-17, 27, 29-32 (GOD’S WORD Translation)
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06 April 2010
Rizwan came to the room asking for twenty rupees. I knew that it was for a ‘charas’ (mixed heroin).
“Sorry, I don’t have money. I don’t bring money into the prison”, that was my answer.
“Pastor, I thought you will give me...”
“Of course, when you give me water in the tank for me to bathe, I ask Jesus to shower all the
blessings on you”.
“Oh, what blessings? I left God long time ago. My whole family is Christian. They go to the church.
But I don’t believe. You will be surprised to hear that I studied in a convent and I speak like this.
God is not with me. And I am here today”.
“So come to pray with us...”
He passed a derisive smile.
“If God is there will I be here? Sorry, when I say like this. But I came here because I left Him”.
“There you are...”
“I left my family, I left my children, I left my parents and went to live alone in a house....I went to
live with....drugs”.
“So, you left God...? Where are you67 – I am sure He would have asked you that question. Not once
but several times and you wouldn’t have heard that voice of God”.
“I didn’t hear His voice. I didn’t hear Him at all. I never wanted to hear him....Becasue of that there
is no one to visit me...no one to come and see me...I know I left Him and today I am alone”.
“You are not alone, we are there for you, and above all Jesus is there for you”.
“Thanks”, he got up and left.
He looked adamant and was not ready for any change immediately.
“God Bless you !”
67
The first question in the Bible – Genesis 3.9
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07 April 2010
Ahmed’s mother-in-law has visited him today.
“I must say, I am a Muslim, but brother Surith gave me an assurance, he spoke to me about God’s
love. You all prayed for my problem. Thank God, today my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came to
see me. They said they have settled the issue. My wife has come back – thanks to God! I don’t know
whether my God will get angry with me for asking your prayers?”
“God is everyone’s God”, I said in an assuring tone.
I advised Surith to continue reading the Word to him and explain.
By now Surith, Ranjith and Balu have received the training to conduct the prayers. The spiritual
training they receive through fasting has become a vital component in the service of God. They
train to resist the pleasure demanded by flesh. The fasting prayer has, thus, led them to gather the
spirituality in them as a vital universal factor when considering the total energy that emanates from
the heaven – unseen and metaphysical. It is this strength that is radiated through intercessory
prayers for which answers are received through the power of the Word. The cosmic generation of
power is not from the planet earth alone but from the realm of consciousness or let me call it the
region of thoughts. The energy thus generated is the universal energy or to call it the universal
consciousness – a supreme power that is centric and holds the universe together and decides its
movements. This Active God of ours is named as the Holy Spirit, who guides, teaches, directs,
shows and supports us. Fasting prayer is a method of getting connected with the spiritual realm.
Holy angels become the messengers or the workers who pass the messages between the heaven
and the earth.
Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?68
68
Hebrews 1:13-14 (New International Version)
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08 April 2010
Someone visited me today.
I was threatened.
“You give up you Bible and you will be able to come out and stay happily”.
I prayed....I continuously prayed....
“Jesus, strengthen me”.
A friend showed me a Word: ‘The Message that points to Christ on the Cross seems like sheer
silliness to those hell-bent on destruction, but for those on the way of salvation it makes perfect
sense. This is the way God works, and most powerfully as it turns out.’69
Completely a gloomy day.
The day that the citizens are going to elect their parliamentary representatives.
Why is it the sky is so dark? Won’t the people have their expectations fulfilled through these people
who would get elected?
God only knows the signs of the day.
69
1 Corinthians 1:18 (The Message)
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09 April 2010
Thank God, today I was able to remove all the dirty water in the room. Ajey washed it and I pulled
the water. Balu bathed and washed his clothes. It is this that Jesus calls as becoming a ‘servant’. It is
this humbleness He wants the Christians to have. Help, serve and be strength to others through an
unconditional love towards everyone, He preached.
In the evening Lloyd was thanking God for giving His only son to the cross to save us. Jesus died for
us. So why can’t we die or bear the cross for others?
Last night Samantha came for prayers crying. “Brother, my son had a narrow escape yesterday in
Negombo. He suddenly ran across the road when the prison bus which took me was proceeding
and everyone in the bus started to shout. I looked from the window and to see it was my child. My
wife was on the other side of the road. He’s only four years old. My heart stopped working.
Everyone in the prison bus started to scold my wife. If something happens to my son I will kill
myself. I can’t bear all this. They have put twelve cases against me by now. It’s too much for me. I
am fed up...my wife is fed up....my mother and father...everyone is tired of this whole legal process.
Wherever I am taken they also have to come to that court... This is killing... These people have put
cases for what I have not done also. Brother, pray for me. Especially, for my son.
My parents and my wife came to see me with the little one two days back and through the mesh
the little one was gazing at me...not a single word...eyes big...He’s so attached to me, I wonder
whether he would go out of his mind... I will not live then... I can’t ...please pray”.
“Now calm down. ‘You are tempted in the same way that everyone else is tempted. But God can be
trusted not to let you be tempted too much, and he will show you how to escape from your
temptations’70. So have faith. Don’t think too much. Worrying will not help you. Let’s give
everything to Jesus and He will give you ‘rest’”.
“Brother, I must tell you, I enjoyed life to the maximum. I am only thirty two now. When I say
enjoyed, I had women everywhere….Though I have a wife, with money I went to other women….”
“So that is what made you to get entangled in these legal matters?”
“You are right. I went against my wife. Even I cheated my wife but I couldn’t cheat God. He
punished me. It was a woman whom I was in contact that put me into this state”.
“You know, God doesn’t like adultery. He has given you a wife He made you to be one. See what
advise He gives you: ‘The words of an immoral woman may be as sweet as honey and as smooth as
70
1 Corinthians 10:13 (Contemporary English Version)
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olive oil. But all that you really get from being with her is bitter poison and pain. If you follow her,
she will lead you down to the world of the dead’71. And not only has that God loved you and your
wife so much that He tells you like this: ‘You should be faithful to your wife, just as you take water
from your own well. And don’t be like a stream from which just any woman may take a drink. Save
yourself for your wife and don’t have sex with other women. Be happy with the wife you married
when you were young. She is beautiful and graceful, just like a deer; you should be attracted to her
and stay deeply in love’72.
“That’s true. I’m tied with my sins. I need God to forgive me. Same me from all these”. Eyes red,
filled with tears…
‘O Father, forgive our brother Samantha for the sins he has committed. You say ‘Now is the
time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet’73. ‘So if you forgive him, I forgive him
(2.10)’. Thank you Father for listening to our prayers and relieving our brother from his sins.
Today is a happy day for all of us. In chapter 6 v.2 of this 2nd letter to the Corinthians you say
‘I heard your call in the nick of time; The day you needed me, I was there to help. Well, now
is the right time to listen, the day to be helped’. I praise you father for this day of salvation,
in Jesus’ name, Amen”.
Samantha had a smile on his face.
What a blessing God showered on him!
71
Proverbs 5:3-5 (Contemporary English Version)
72
Proverbs 5.14-22
73
2 Corinthians 2.7 (The Message)
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10 April 2010
I met Alex, a forty year old chap who has come to the prison due to drug addiction.
“Brother, you don’t know something about me. I feel like telling you this story which I never
revealed to anyone”.
I was curious.
“You know, I was a monk in a down South village temple. I was young and was completely
engrossed in my religious activities. There was a family that lived right opposite the temple, on the
other side of the road. They were strong Buddhists. They had a daughter. A beautiful young girl. I
saw her several times coming to the temple, observing sil and also she used to come to the temple
on Sundays. I made it a point to visit that house”. He stopped for while as if to bring back his
memory.
“I think an evil thought crept into me, struggled with me and overcame me. I couldn’t hold on to my
spiritual strength. I became weakened. My eyes, my inner eye, all were focused on her. I was in
Moha. I went before the Bodhi tree and prayed., I went before Buddha and prayed but I couldn’t
remove the evil thought.
My visits to that house increased. A relationship built between her and me. We discussed, we
couldn’t’ leave each other, we wanted to stay together, so we ran away.
We got a baby – a daughter…We were in a far away village…because her parents were powerful
people in the area we didn’t want to come to that area at all. We were in a friend’s house.
After six months I got a chance to go to Italy. I went and there….” He was silent… he looked at the
sky…”I came to know that she had got involved with my friend. I didn’t want to return to my
country. I stayed there for two years. I didn’t communicate, I was totally upset, but then I made my
mind. I came down after two years. I went to another friend’s house. I kept all my things there. And
then I left to down South to see my wife and the daughter. They were there. When they saw me
they got shocked. I went in. I spoke to my friend and my wife. I gave my blessing to them. Arranged
the formal registration for the and gave my divorce.
My mind was completely set. No ill feeling towards them. Complete love…My daughter is also
happy with them. I completed al the formalities, blessed them and left and to this day I am
unmarried.
But after sometime in bad company I got used to drugs and today I am here. I don’t know when I
could go out because there’s no one to help me in the outside. I am just a lonely man. At times my
past life comes to me in a flash and hurts me. That’s why I revealed this to you”.
I felt sorry for him.
“You are right, when you say Moha took control of you. In our religion it is called darkness or
blindness. All sorrow comes when you put your eyes into darkness. Jesus clearly tells that your eyes
are the parts that brighten your body. Eyes also cause lust. That is the attachment. That is evil and
that attachment is Moha in Buddhism. You who were a monk should know better than me. Today
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you are with me here, sharing your thoughts because of sorrow. In both instances you wanted to
satisfy your carnal needs; pleasure that the body seeks. But ultimately that pleasure has turned to
sorrow. Pleasure and sorrow functions vice versa. And now when you are here, you again think of
‘if someone is there for me’. This is the vacuum we have. It is a vacuum we build because we live in
the world or we lead a worldly life. But I suggest you go back to your prayers. Even I don’t mind if
you come for our prayers. You will meet new friends. They were, let me say, ex-drug addicts. They
are now completely in the love of God. Whatever you wish.”
“Your God is foreign to me…How can I adapt myself? But I will try…”
“Good, that will give you, after a long time in your life, a new light. Experience it”.
“Oh, you are so encouraging. It’s good that I revealed everything to you”.
“It’s God who brought you to me. Jesus is everywhere. He knows you and He shows you the path.
He showed you to come to me. This is the miracle. He knows everything you need before you think.
He is the Savior”.
“I am so much relieved”.
“Praise the Lord”.
Alex was present at the evening prayers clapping for the hymns joyfully and praying
wholeheartedly. He was ‘born again’.
Thank you Jesus for touching my Brother, Amen!
Alex experienced the Spirit of Jesus!
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11 April 2010
A discussion ensued on sexuality as a prison guard had tried to seduce the wife of a prisoner. Are
we to name it as delinquency of the officials? The undue influence posed by the officers is visible in
this manner disrupting the families of the prisoners. This seductive act is not only seen in the prison
but also in politics, police, medical and religious spheres. Sheer sexual exploitation using the politics
of power and morality!
A further story was revealed where a particular prison guard visits the house of a prisoner, sleeps
with the wife of the prisoner and transports drugs to the prisoner. Is it flesh for drugs? A business
that is visible in the prison.
I myself have observed the sexual perversion carried out by the guards in the visit room where the
women (mothers, wives, daughters and aunts) are put into utter embarrassment. Is this masculine
opportunism under the guise of law or a further repression carried out by the masculine legality?
Or could it be further questioned as an extended penalizing of the accused?
A corruptive practice of the officials left unseen by the authorities concerned!
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12 April 2010
Shiva spoke to me – a Hindu. He was fascinated of the attendance to the ‘House of Jesus”.
“Pastor, we also have a nice story in Baghavatgitha where a saintly person renounces everything he
has because of the strong faith he has towards God, but he still survives. I think the reason is that
God loves those who strongly believes on Him. He tests everyone”.
He went on to tell the story.
“There once lived a famous king named Harishchandra, who was the emperor of the world and a
person of great truth and integrity. His wife’s name was Chandramati, and he had a son named
Lohitashva. By the force of destiny, however, Harishchandra lost his great kingdom and sold his wife
and son. The pious king himself became a menial servant of a dog-eater, who made him guard a
crematorium. Yet even while doing such menial service, he did not forsake his truthfulness and
good character, just as soma-rasa, even when mixed with some other liquid, does not lose its ability
to bestow immortality.
“The king passed many years in this condition. Then one day he sadly thought, ‘What shall I do?
Where shall I go? How can I be delivered from this plight?’ In this way he drowned in an ocean of
anxiety and sorrow.
“One day a great sage happened by, and when the king saw him he happily thought, ‘Ah, Lord
brahma has created 188armic188s just to help others.’ Harishchandra paid his respectful obeisance
to the sage, whose name was Gautama Muni. With joined palms the king stood before Gautama
Muni and narrated his pitiful story. Gautama Muni was astonished to hear the king’s tale of woe.
He thought, ‘How has this mighty king been reduced to collecting clothes from the dead?’ Gautama
Muni became very much compassionate toward Harishchandra and instructed him on the process
of fasting for purification.
“Gautama Muni said, ‘Oh king, during the dark fortnight of the month of bhadrapada (August-
September) there occurs an especially meritorious ekadashi74 named aja (annada), which removes
all sins. Indeed, this ekadashi is so auspicious that if you simply fast on that day and perform no
other austerity, all your sins will be nullified. By your good fortune it is coming in just seven days. So
I urge you to fast on this day and remain awake through the night. If you do so, all the reactions of
your past sins will come to an end. Oh Harishchandra, I have come here because of your past pious
deeds. Now, all good fortune to you in the future!’ So saying, the great sage Sri Gautama Muni
immediately disappeared from their vision.
“King Harishchandra followed Gautama Muni’s instructions concerning fasting on the sacred day of
aja ekadasii. Because the king fasted on that day, the reactions to his previous sins were completely
destroyed at once. Oh lion among kings just see the influence of this ekadasii fast! It immediately
vanquishes whatever miseries one may be suffering as a result of past 188armic sinful activities.
74
In the word "Ekadashi", "Ek" means one and "dash" means ten. The word "Ekadashi" refers to the two days of the
month numerically dated the eleventh. Many people in and some people of Indian origin outside India follow this
religious observence of Ekadashi. On this day, they do what is known as Upavas, which means fasting. There is one
additional way of observing Ekadashi. If it is not possible for a person to take any time off from daily routine, he can
offer his Ekadashi day's earnings in God's service. Ekadashi does not only mean fasting once every two weeks. Ekadashi
means controlling one's senses and mind through self-descipline. Ekadashi gives the opportunity to thank God for all
that He does that by offering one day out of fifteen for His work.
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Thus all Harishchandra’s miseries were relieved. Just by the power of this wonderful ekadashi, he
was reunited with his wife and son, who had died but were now revived. In the heavenly regions
the devas (demigods) began beating on their celestial kettle-drums and showering down flowers
upon Harishchandra, his queen, and their son. By the blessings of the ekadasii fast, he regained his
kingdom without difficulty. Moreover, when King Harishchandra left the planet, his relatives and all
his subjects, too, went with him to the spiritual world”.
We understand from this story that nobody brings anything to this world and nobody takes
anything to the other world. If everybody could think in this way most people would be able to live
peacefully. Here in the prison also how many people go mad of thinking of what they lost but that is
immaterial before God. It was He who gave everything to us and there is nothing that we possess”.
“Superb…that’s really a deep understanding about life….”, I said. “I must tell you that even
Christians have a similar story: story of Job. Similar to Harischandra’s experience. Job had nine sons.
A king. He lost everything. It was a severe testing but di didn’t fail. He lost the sons, kingship,
wealth, and even he suffered wit a bodily rash but still he was unwavering in his faith towards God.
Job told that, ‘I came naked and I will go naked” and that was the deep understand he had”.
“Pastor, our people are always in greed and selfishness. Now, when you think of these peo;e, their
blood relations and friends have given them up. Mainly because of status or the social norms. But
social status and norms, are they important? What is important is the human being. Everyone has a
flaw in this life. No one is perfect. No one is free of sin. But most people think they are flawless and
act as saints. They continue discriminating others. They lack love towards the other. They are
concerned about the petty matters like social status. Did they bring all that when they came to this
world? No, social status is built through repression of others. Does God accept this? No, not at all.
This is sheer darkness or moha that they are in. They cannot see the reality. They think they are
pure and above all people! How that? So they ignore their bretheren who are in helpless situations.
Most of these people in the prison are treated like that by their relatives.
At least now these people who come to pray may be having a deep understanding about life. Your
Jesus is miraculous in that way. I spoke to some of the Christians who come to pray with you. They
don’t have any hatred or any ill feeling towards those relations who have ignored them. They know
that Jesu loves them. They speak of that. Even if no one is there Tesu is there. So this is the truth. It
is His love that is important”, said Shiva.
“You are a better Christian than me”.

“No, pastor, this is what I perceived. I feel that love Tesu is limitless. That is why people take so
much interest to come for prayers in the mornings and evening”.
“Yes, this is the spirituality of life. Most people lack this spirituality. If they are spiritual they will
never have dry feeling towards the other. See how the Bible has rhetorically put it: ‘For he shall be
as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see
when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought,
neither shall cease from yielding fruit’ 75.
75
Jeremiah 17.8
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13 April 2010
Ranjith, our Peter brought Nalaka for morning prayers. A twenty eight years old lad, dark in
complexion with an obstinate look sat down in the middle of the room. His hair was dishevelled and
clothes were dirty. Tears coming down his cheeks.
“Brother...”, he looked at me and others in a perplexed mood.
Ranjith opened the story.
“Nalaka is really upset. The date is getting closer for the judgment. He thinks that he’ll get
condemned. He has murdered four people in different instances. Also he has four other robbery
cases. He wants us to pray”.
Nalaka was looking at me. He wanted to tell something. “Brother, my wife is ill. She has fallen and
now has a spine problem. She is in the wheelchair. My daughter is only eight years old. My problem
is now when I get condemned there’s no one to look after them. At least now I get my brother to
help them. But when I get condemned I think there security is in danger. I have thought like this...”,
he wanted to explain further. “I have decided not that If my wife gets completely cured I will give
her the divorce and ask her to re-marry as she is young. Even if someone is there to marry her now,
I am prepared. Because my wife and my daughter needs to have a better future. They don’t need to
suffer anymore. Because when I get condemned I will not be able to come out. Their lives are
precious for me. I want God to help me. This is what I need. I still feel sorry for those people whom I
murdered. They are all innocent people. One fellow is jewellery shop owner. The other a textile
shop owner. The other two are also wealthy merchants. I really repent for what I did. I am
uneducated and there was no way of finding a job. I was helpless. I thought this would be the best
thing to do. Even I didn’t want to kill them. I wanted to scare them and grab the money. But
unfortunately the pistol fired on them. Because at such moments even I feel threatened of my life.
Tody my parents went to Kataragama. I want you also to pray for me. Especially to my wife and the
daughter. They need your prayers. I know for what I did I have to serve the sentence”
Ranjith started to intercede in prayer.
‘If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there’76.
76
Psalm 139:8 (New International Version)
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14 April 2010
Sinhala – Tamil new year day.
A complete gloom in the morning with a slight drizzle....
Everyone was sent out with the morning roll call...kiribath (milk rice) was served with lunu miris ( a
chilli paste made of chillies and onions). A second tass of kiribath came to the L hall which
disappeared in seconds. My room-mates, too, brought seven big pieces of kiribath – a second
inning for our stomachs – we enjoyed batting kiribath with seeni sambol ( a tasty preparation of
tempered onions with sugar, and Maldive fish). My thoughts travelled to my home – what would
they be doing now- without the husband and without the father? Will they visit relations? No, that
would be an embarrassing thing for them as I am in the prison. Helpless people with no ones love –
isolated – maybe thinking and talking about me with tears in their eyes. I immediately felt the need
to pray.
“Dear Jesus, touch the souls of my wife and children, wipe out all the tears and give them peace.
Let them not feel lonely as you are with them...speak to them....tell that my thoughts and my love
is with them...at every second...ensure their happiness, Amen”.
A great relief in my heart, my friend Jesus will do what I asked. I am assured of that.
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15 April 2010
Sarath came to the room around 10.00 p.m. His grandmother has expired. Also his father has been
admitted to the hospital due to a heart attack.
“Jesus is there to look after us”.
I understood all what he meant. His four children were looked after by the father. And now that
he’s ill there won’t be anyone even to run about for his case. Not sure for how long he will have to
stay in the prison but hasn’t lost hope, instead, have strong gaze at Jesus. Thanks be to God!
When people spoke to me it was their pent-up emotions that flowed out through their words. I
understood my responsibility – encouraging a heartening words! Relief form emotional distress is
possible in this way. One must concentrate on the healing power of kind and encouraging words.
‘The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life… 77’
77
Proverbs 15.4
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16 April 2010
A news item – 12,000 people have died in China due to an earthquake.
What more would happen when humans go against the nature created by God? Chopping down of
tree, massive deforestation, vast constructions, etc. Have created an imbalance in the nature. This
lack of love towards the creation has brought this calamity. Exploitation of nature is due to the
greediness to accumulate more wealth. Money, the devil that plans, instigates and destroys all
beings. It is the curse that quickens the end of the earth. Money and power...it has become a curse.
David in Psalm 104.35 says ‘let the sinners be consume out of the earth,
and let the wicked be no more....’
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17 April 2010
I was feeling uneasy after evening prayers. I couldn’t lie down or sit....there was something that was
stirring in me. I started walking up and down inside the 8 feet long room. I was wondering what
makes me so uneasy. I started to reflect on my work – the work I did for the past five months.
I started scratching my whole body. A rash has come up. No medicine, nothing, just scratch till the
sin gets damaged. There is an indescribable pain in the right side of the abdomen. Body has become
a total suffering. My soul went back to the history.
When Jesus told me five months ago: ‘Today shalt thou be with me in paradise’, what did He mean
by the word paradise? I was reflecting. How did I make the prison a paradise? Yes, thoughts flowed
in smoothly...Jesus made the prison a paradise...He gave His word of hope, He gave His word of
encouragement, His word taught the prisoners on endurance and patience and most of all He made
me to listen attentively everyone.
Five months ago He selected me to start the machine working – the machine that radiates the living
word of God. Which strikes the souls and pierces into the bones.
‘For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword,
piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a
discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart’ (Heb. 4.12).
It was the word of God, as fuel, poured into the hearts of the prisoners to ensure that His kingdom
is built according to His will. He selected those who were prepared to accept His word, lead a
practical life accordingly and saved them. A mission of salvation effected by our living God Jesus in
prison.
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18 April 2010
Baluraj came from the prison hospital.
“I came; I was scared to stay there. A young fellow died and I saw his body. They say he had a
continuous flow of semen. I am not sure of his ailment. The magistrate came in the morning to
record the death. The deceased’s sister and two brothers were present. One fellow in the hospital
started screaming. ‘Your honour, doctor X is responsible for this death. Doctor didn’t come to treat
him. Doctor ignored him. Doctor didn’t do his duty. Last night our friend was shivering and the
doctor didn’t attend to him’ – the guards approached him and he kept silent. When the magistrate
left he climbed up and from a small opening in the wall he shouted, ‘sister, make a complaint to the
police. These devils kill us here. No medicine, no treatment, this not a hospital, this is hell’, he got a
fit and fell. At the time I left the prison hospital he was on the bed speechless and hands fully
stretched”.
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19 April 2010
‘Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death...’78
78
James 5.20
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20 April 2010
A special prayer was conducted by brother Balu. They were all upset that in seven days time I will
be going out and they needed a leader, a leader who could advise them and spiritually advance
them – who could listen well, answer well and guide those who come to the ‘House of Jesus’. He
asked Jesus to give all the strength and guidance to me to engage in the prison ministry which
would help ‘House of Jesus’ to be sustained serving the remand prisoners so that they would be
saved in God.
After prayers I assured them that the ministry I commenced, as I was guided by the Holy Spirit, will
be continued. Their day to day needs are to be met (soap, toothpaste, towels, sheets and clothes)
and more than that they need continuous input of gospel teaching though monthly publications
which would be food for thought, giving them encouragement, and giving a broader vision of life,
especially building hope in Jesus Christ. They were happy of my assurance. Their eyes had a plea:
‘Brother, don’t make us forgotten people’.
‘Dear Jesus, the days are getting closer for me to go out. Lord protect me! There is someone
to devour me in the outside world. Be my rampart. Be the solid rock round me so that that
someone will not be able to touch me; that some one will not then be able to scream at me;
that someone will not be able to grab my body. Lord, do not let that someone to possess me.
Save me from the world – from flesh. Lord I don’t belong to the world. So, mentioning your
name becomes poison for that someone. Your righteousness is not acceptable to that
someone. Your Word is not believed by that someone. O Jesus, how can I go to the world
without you? Why do you plan to send me out? Why do you want to see me suffer in the
world? Lord, can’t you remember you saved Elijah sending him into a cave on top of a
mountain79 when the world came to kill him. So why can’t you keep me in this safe haven
instead of sending to the world? Why do you want to let me be killed by that someone?
Queen Jezebel came chasing behind Elijah. Oh, what a disaster! Jesus, have mercy on me.
Save me. Father, why do you forsake me after six months? Finish!’
79
1 Kings 19:1-8
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21 April 2010
What have I been doing all these days?
A job of a psychotherapist with a politic!
Listening to stories and making the narrators to realize the circumstances that led to their action.
This is totally a retrospective action. Delving into the past and enabling the narrator to identify the
event as a productive force. A force that builds knowledge on the events and their meanings. This
helps to conceptualize the wider societal discourse the narrator was involved and is empowered to
sense who he is in this world. So each theme in these narratives helps us to explain events in the
lives of the people in their particular ways. This is nothing but empowering the narrator to
understand that the crime is not an individual mishap but part and parcel of social engagement.
This way of looking at things makes the narrator to find opportunities in changing himself and even
his circumstances when he goes out. This empowerment should be stated as conscious awareness,
could be highlighted and use in the future for a desired transformation.
The knowledge gained by the narrator through his revelations is powered as responsibility.
Responsibility for one’s self and one’s action. There is no limit for the narrator to think of how
he/she is going to change the circumstances. This knowledge-power relationship has been
discussed by Derrida, Foucault and Weber in their writings. Once the narrator is prepared to change
himself that preparedness is the willingness of grasping the meanings of every minute action
involved in the event. Meanings turn into knowledge and knowledge into power. This is the politic I
was involved in with the inmates: empowering the narrator for a better future. This is nothing but
politicizing the personal. Narrative therapy amounts to a political action.
Now it should be understood that the stories noted by me are not just individually written down
ones but are the results of a vast societal discourse that you and I are involved which even influence
our everyday relationships with others and those themes become our own individual narratives
finally. Those narrative stories constructed certain meaning around the lives and the events of the
narrator and now in turn create meanings for ourselves. This let me call ‘interactive narration’. The
listener needs to interact with the story and actively try to extract meaning to the life. As a
therapist one can hold two or more points of view simultaneously with regard to the story. My
ethical relationship with the narrator empowers me to write, converse and develop the person’s
narrative. A process and a practice giving value to the story listened as those narrations are unique
or ‘Other’, and in fact, outside the bounds of any psychotherapy.
The time factor taken by the narrator is vital to observe the therapeutic-change in the person which
we could mention as the ‘narrative destiny’ (Larner, 1999)80. The time permits the narrator to
encounter the event, separating him from it or alienating him and looking at it in a more Brechtian
epiche manner enabling to gain the knowledge of the circumstances that led to the event and to
80
‘Derrida and the Deconstruction of Power’. Ed. Parker, I. ‘Deconstructing psychotherapy’ (1999)
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find alternatives in having a changed life. As Brecht puts in his epic theatre the narrator sees his
own story in ‘wonder’ and Gasche81 proves of same. In this way the knowledge becomes power
‘which is not hegemonic, that allows the *listener+ to ‘say everything’ (as in literature), to think their
own thoughts, to have their own feeling, to be their own subject, to write their own narrative’
(Chase, 1995)82. Time permits the narrator to see beyond the limits that was shown to him in courts
and the stress evaporates with the alternatives visualized. Empowered narrator does work for
changing life and grasp the alternatives in all its amazement. The therapist should note that time
‘inside’ is really precious as the narrator presents himself for the revelation of events expecting
immediate solutions. The ‘outside’ psychotherapist’s time consumption does not help the ‘inside’
narrator at all. Hence, a therapist living among the narrators could be more productive as he will
not have a single second to waste but to listen and actively engage together with the narrator’s to
find alternative meanings in life.
One more important point is still left in this discussion: the prisoner’s psyche requires a higher
power to forgive him. It is because the narrator’s conscience has been pierced by the charges
imposed against him in courts as a culprit. This is vital as all change is possible only if a Healer is
visible who could propose and guide the narrator to adopt the alternatives. Faith comes in at this
point and entwines with the narration. The narrator looks for the Healer through his/her religious
faith. He knows that the ‘outside’ is not going to forgive him. He asks forgiveness from a Superior
Authority: God. The religious Word becomes active as a source of healing and faith functions to
accept the Word and alternatives are sought through the Word. The empowered narrator is more
assured of his Salvation with the spiritual relationship he builds up with the Lord. Reconciliation is
made with God and it is faith that does justice to the narrator. The therapist should note that
without apology and forgiveness, narrators remain locked in the value systems that produced them
to be criminals. Forgiveness and reconciliation thus become vital to overcome the narrator’s
conflict and that will be a process of dialogue, prayer and reflection and spiritual direction.
“There will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner repenting than over ninety – nine
upright people who have no need of repentance.”83
81
Gasche,R. (1994), ‘Inventions of Difference: on Jacques Derrida’.
82
‘Reading eptaphs’, Havenkamp.A. (ed.), ‘Deconstruction is in America: A New Sense of the Political’.
83
Matt:18;12-13
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22 April 2010
A huge bucket of plain tea was brought and kept right in the middle of the road opposite the
remand prison by two kitchen party prisoner. A heavy downpour...
Remand prisoners like a swarm of flies ran towards the bucket in the heavy rain with their cups,
bottles, cans and some with bowls.
A mixture of rain water and plain tea to gulp down...
In a civilized world what sub human life is this!
No shed...no shelter...for tea, breakfast, lunch and dinner...the food and the drink is opened for
many germs that comes with the wind, pigeons and dust...A country where billions of money is
spent on political vying and image building has failed to pay attention to the good health of its
prisoners – its own children and citizens of the country who are ‘humans’ should they fall within the
prominently shown label ‘Prisoners are Humans’.
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23 April 2010
Jesus created the wholeness in all those who accepted His word.
Christ is all, and in all84.
When I am disturbed or confronted by worldly matters I always tried to question: What would Jesus
do at such moments?
During my stay in the prison it was the person Jesus who was right before me and behind me and in
me at all moments. He was walking with me, eating, drinking, bathing and laughing with me. He
used to talk with me always and He guided me. He loved to joke....He made me to enjoy life...I
enjoyed prison life because Jesus was with me...He never let me feel lonely...When He sees that I
am in a vacuum He slowly crawls towards me and whispers to my soul: “Hello, Ravi”, and I am
compelled to take the Bible to my hand to talk with Him.
If any man serve me, let him follow me;
and where I am, there shall also my servant be:
if any man serve me, him will my Father honour85.
I knew that it was a strong invitation He made to me....right from the time I was sent into the
prison...the paradise that He selected for me.....and that was an invitation to be in His service till my
soul reaches Him in the heaven.
84
Col. 3.11
85
John 12.26
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24 April 2010
Prison is a place a new man could be found – a new man in Jesus – the transformation expected
through the Word of God. It is the power of the Word and the continuity of prayers that causes the
change within. And it is this newness that is expected in every human at every moment – new in
thought and action in God.
‘I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living
sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed (emphasis is mine) by the
renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of
God’86.
86
(Romans 12.1-2)
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25 April 2010
What has happened to criminology?
A question that often pestered me on seeing these prisoners in the remand.
As Collier87 says, ‘Criminology now frequently appears with caveats’ (emphasis mine).
Criminology in the twentieth century disposes an individual to criminality by turning itself to

‘immediate indications’88 and ‘factors 89’ instead of seeking for ‘deep laws90’.
Is it the reason why a society without crime is unattainable?
As Smart91 argues the, ‘whole raison d’être of Criminology’ is that it ‘addresses crime. It categorizes
a vast range of activities and treats them as if they were all subject to the same laws – whether laws
of human behavior, genetic inheritance, economic rationality, development or the like. The
argument within criminology has always been between those who give primacy to one form of
explanation rather than another. The thing that criminology cannot do is deconstruct crime (original
emphasis)”.
Therefore, criminology has failed to ‘locate specific crimes with particular domains (my emphasis).
Thus, criminology is unable to locate crimes such as rape or child sexual abuse in the domain of
sexuality, or a crime, such as theft in the domain of economic activity and so forth. In order to
address crime within such specific contexts what becomes necessary is to reject the unified
problem of ‘crime’ and, along with it, the possibility of there being any unified response or
intervention. In so doing, however, that which gives the discipline of criminology its own
epistemological or foundational unity – ‘crime’ – fades away. The focus shifts instead to the
construction of ‘Woman’, Man’, femininity, masculinity, corporeality, sexuality, and so on…
‘What we are observing is the reign of an often unreflective science of criminology, which neither
examines its own particular ideologies (its own specific world view) nor speculates about the
consequent intellectual and ethical value of the criminological enterprise (why it is doing what it is
doing). We see, instead, a preoccupation with the scientific study of criminal man and how to
correct him, much as the scientific men of the nineteenth century saw their task. But the gaze is
unidirectional. Criminologist examines criminal man but does not look back at himself to discover
the nature of his own identity and how it shapes the very nature of the scientific process, including
the very identity of criminal man himself’92.
87
‘Masculinities, Crime and Criminology’, (1998) pg.159.
88
Collier,R. (1998), pg.160.
89
ibid
90
ibid
91
‘Feminist Approaches to Criminology or Postmodern Woman Meets Atavistic Man’, (1990), pg. 77.
92
Naffine,N (1997), ‘Feminism and Criminology’, pg.28-29.
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26 April 2010
NEW HUMANITY - Philosophy of Jesus93
‘For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing
wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose
was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to
reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came
and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him
we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God's people and
also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ
Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to
become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling
in which God lives by his Spirit’.
Is there anything that we could say beyond this Word? We talk of human rights, commissions and
Democratic actions but hasn’t He showed us what equality means two thousand years ago? The
New Humanity that broke all barriers! No differences….no discriminations….Just Love!
‘God has just shown me that no race is better than any other’.94
93
Ephesians 2:14-22 (Today's New International Version)
94
Acts 10.28 (The Message)
204 | P a g e
Jesus in prison
th
27 April 2010
I was bailed out.
The mission entrusted to me was partly achieved and I thanked God when I came out from the
courtroom.
Departure of Brother Ravi would make the friends of Jesus grieve but I am sure Jesus would
continue His work there as He wants this testimonial to be out to the world.
‘And ye are witnesses of these things’95.
95
Luke 24. 48
205 | P a g e

Jesus in Prison

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Jesus in Prison

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Jesus in prison

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED

TO EVERYONE WHO HAS

TRUTH unfolded daringly....believe it or not....many actors....many scenes....BUT ONE TECHNICIAN:

17th November 2009

The State Counsel screamed.

The judge was scribbling something.

And Jesus said unto me, “Verily I say unto thee,

Today shalt thou be with me in paradise”.

“Thank you Jesus”, I said.

Time - 4.00 p.m.

Place – Welikada Prison, L Hall (The Remand)

I was not allowed to go to the toilet.

Nuwan came close to me – a young chap of 32 years.

“Where’s your house brother?”

“What were you?”, Nuwan inquired me.

“I was a teacher. An English teacher”.

I was happy that I could spend my time teaching them.

“Are you all Christians?”

“Yes, only Buddhi”, Buddhi shook his head.

“We can pray here”.

“I will not come. Buddhi will join”.

Then he got close to me.

I was amazed... an unseen image...

I prayed with Nuwan and Buddhi in the morning.

I sat on the floor and went into meditation.

Holy Angel spoke to me.

“Ravi, how are you?”

“How is your health?”

“Good, we pray for you. God is with you”.

The pain in my soul brought Payne into me:

An exile from home, splendor dazzles in vain;

I gaze on the moon as I tread the drear wild,

How sweet 'tis to sit 'neath a fond father's smile,

To thee I'll return, overburdened with care;

M. brought me papers and pens.

Dhammapada – teachings of Jesus Christ

but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

Ye are the salt of the earth:

Thou shalt not kill;

and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgement.

Thou shalt not commit adultery:

her already in his heart.

That whosoever shall put away his wife,

saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery.

That ye resist not evil:

pray for them.

That ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them.

pray to thy Father which is in secret.

and where thieves break through and steal.

thy whole body shall be full of light.

No man can serve two masters.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness,

and all things shall be added unto you.

How fair and how pleasant art thou,

O love for delights!

This thy stature is like to a palm tree,

And thy breasts to clusters of grapes.

I said, I will go up to the palm tree,

I will take hold of the boughs thereof:

Now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine,

And the smell of thy nose like apples:

That goeth down sweetly,

Causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak 5.