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As Tom Matlack’s 16-year-olddaughter waited for her date toarrive, she warned her father,
Tom Matlack, in The Good Men  Project Magazine.
The
First
Date
‘Dad, if you screw this upI’ll kill you.’
 
“Youhaveapseudo-beard,anecklacewithasnake,andyou’rehuge,”my16-year-olddaughter,Kerry,saidinapleadingvoice.“Whatareyousaying?”Iasked,withjustahintofagrin.“He’stotallyscaredofyou.Dad,IfyouscrewthisupI’llkillyou.”“Astheassistantmanofthehouse,”Seamus,my14-year-oldson,chirped,sensinganopening,“Ithink

“Andasassistantmanofthehouseintraining,Cole

“Whatcouldyoupossiblyask?”Kerryasked,nowstaringatCole.“Youknow,Colecouldaskthekid’sfavoritelandanimal,”Seamusdeadpanned.“Iwanttoknowwhatfarmanimalhe’dliketohavesexwith.”Formydaughter’ssake,Itriednottolaugh.ThisSat-

ButIhadtolookaway;Seamus’humorhitthatfunny

theonethatmakesyoulaughatfuneralswhenevery-oneelseiscrying.

girl,ofwhatshewaslikeasababyandtoddlerandteenager.Howmightythestrugglehadbeentogettothismoment.CountyKerry(CiarraíinGaelic)inIrelandisknown

produceddarkcomplexionsandwildtemperaments.A“KerryGirl”isafreespirit.MyKerrymayhaveblonde
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Asababysheneverslept,butItriedtocomforther,spendingtheweehoursofthemorninglisteningto

Iseparated.KerrywouldcomevisitmeinmyrentalapartmentonFridaynights,andwe’dgrabapizzain

Givenanopeninginanypublicspace,thegirlwould

Beach,ahugeexpanseofsandandboomingwaves,

throughthesurf.Iwouldjogbehind,makingsureshedidn’tdiveinoverherhead.Once,ImadethemistakeoftryingtotakeKerry,then3,andherbabybrotherSeamusinasnowstormto

wascanceled,butwewereabletogetoutonacon-

Oncethere,alltheairportsshutdown,andforsev-eralhoursIchasedKerryfromoneterminaltothe

baggageclaim,shewasstandingproudlyandholdingmymom’shand.Shefoundherwaywithnohelpfromme.AsKerrygrewintoateenager,herwildsidefoundaplaceonthestage.Iapproachedherjunior-highand

wasn’tnervous,thenIshouldn’tbenervous,either.

Kerry,andsawinourculture,abouthowsexualityis

 
www.GoodMenProject.com
KerryandIhadmanylongdiscussionsaboutwhyonly

theresthadtoputupwithguyswhoonlywanted

toldme,butIwashelplesstodoanythingaboutit.Icouldonlyadmirehercourageandstrengthincon-

-ingtheprevailingtermsofengagementwithboys.

atriptoseeGwenStefaniforherbirthdaycircledaroundinmyhead.Yes,Kerryhadgonetotheprom.

onherlaptop,whilesimultaneouslydoing“home-work.”

-

team,butrefusedtodivulgeanyotherdetails.SeamusandColehadconvenientlymadetheirwayoutbacktoplaysoccer.Kerry’sstepmom,Elena,her

surewhattodo.IwantedbothKerryandherdatetofeelsecureinmyapproval,andIwantedKerrytofeel

alreadywas.Inourfronthallway,Isawasweet-looking17-year-oldboywhohadtakenthesubwayfromWellesleytotake

too.Iaskedwheretheyweregoingandwhentheywouldbehome.Hesaidtheyweregoingtoarestaurant

wasimpressed;thekidseemedmoreresponsibleandmaturethanIwasathisage.Thentheyweregone.Despiteherfearlessnessandwildstreak,Kerryhasgrownintoagracefulandcomposedyoungwoman.Onceagain,shehasshownmethatIneedn’tbener-vous.Icantrusthertodotherightthing,evenwhensheknowsI’mnotlooking.ElenaandIhaddinnerplans,andwekeptthem.ButunderthetableIsentKerryatext.“Bigthumbsup.Quiteagentleman.Love,Dad.”
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