“Youhaveapseudo-beard,anecklacewithasnake,andyou’rehuge,”my16-year-olddaughter,Kerry,saidinapleadingvoice.“Whatareyousaying?”Iasked,withjustahintofagrin.“He’stotallyscaredofyou.Dad,IfyouscrewthisupI’llkillyou.”“Astheassistantmanofthehouse,”Seamus,my14-year-oldson,chirped,sensinganopening,“Ithink
“Andasassistantmanofthehouseintraining,Cole
“Whatcouldyoupossiblyask?”Kerryasked,nowstaringatCole.“Youknow,Colecouldaskthekid’sfavoritelandanimal,”Seamusdeadpanned.“Iwanttoknowwhatfarmanimalhe’dliketohavesexwith.”Formydaughter’ssake,Itriednottolaugh.ThisSat-
ButIhadtolookaway;Seamus’humorhitthatfunny
theonethatmakesyoulaughatfuneralswhenevery-oneelseiscrying.
girl,ofwhatshewaslikeasababyandtoddlerandteenager.Howmightythestrugglehadbeentogettothismoment.CountyKerry(CiarraíinGaelic)inIrelandisknown
produceddarkcomplexionsandwildtemperaments.A“KerryGirl”isafreespirit.MyKerrymayhaveblonde
Asababysheneverslept,butItriedtocomforther,spendingtheweehoursofthemorninglisteningto
Iseparated.KerrywouldcomevisitmeinmyrentalapartmentonFridaynights,andwe’dgrabapizzain
Givenanopeninginanypublicspace,thegirlwould
Beach,ahugeexpanseofsandandboomingwaves,
throughthesurf.Iwouldjogbehind,makingsureshedidn’tdiveinoverherhead.Once,ImadethemistakeoftryingtotakeKerry,then3,andherbabybrotherSeamusinasnowstormto
wascanceled,butwewereabletogetoutonacon-
Oncethere,alltheairportsshutdown,andforsev-eralhoursIchasedKerryfromoneterminaltothe
baggageclaim,shewasstandingproudlyandholdingmymom’shand.Shefoundherwaywithnohelpfromme.AsKerrygrewintoateenager,herwildsidefoundaplaceonthestage.Iapproachedherjunior-highand
wasn’tnervous,thenIshouldn’tbenervous,either.
Kerry,andsawinourculture,abouthowsexualityis