Writing an Essay

English 114
Lesson 7: Part Two

Dr. Mercedes Torres

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

 Quote

“ The real me is music. Music discovers

my inside feelings….It wakes up my
emotions and the rest of me comes into
play.”

Christian A. Quiñónes Santiago 114/05

 Example
Favorite Song: Breakaway
Breakaway
(Written by M. Gerrard/B. Benante/A. Lavigne) (used for educational purposes)

 Grew up in a small town

And when the rain would fall down
I’d just stare out my window
Dreamin’ of what could be
And if I’d end up happy
I would pray

 Trying hard to reach out

But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar
Example
 I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes
Till I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away

 Out of the darkness

And into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
 Example
 Want to feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get on board a fast train
Travel on a jet plane
Far away and break away

 I’ll spread my wings

And I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes till I touch the sky
and I’ll make a wish, take a chance ,make a change
And break away
 Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that love
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break away, breakaway, breakaway
©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar
 Example
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me but
Gotta keep movin’ on movin’ on
Fly away break away
I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
Though it’s not easy
To tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break away, breakaway, breakaway

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

 Main Idea: What is each strophe about?
 Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down The person is unhappy
I’d just stare out my window and dreaming and
Dreamin’ of what could be hoping for something
And if I’d end up happy better
I would pray

 Trying hard to reach out

But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
The person feels no
sense of belonging and
wants to leave
Main Idea: What is each strophe about?
 I’ll spread my wings The person will try to
And I’ll learn how to fly accomplish other goals
I’ll do what it takes and take chances.
Till I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away

 Out of the darkness

And into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
 Preparing a Concept Map
Title Breakaway
Thesis Statement Concept Map

Childhood Message Inspires a

memories of hope philosophy of life

Living in NY Hoping for a Live a full life.

better life Take a risk
Apartment
Being brave Take a chance
building
Make a change
Feeling afraid Taking risks Break away
Moving to PR ©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar
Thesis Statement
 Thesis statement: expresses the main idea
that will be developed for the entire essay
 It should be expressed in a complete sentence
 It expresses an opinion, attitude, or idea.
 It should express only one main idea
Visual Image
 When you listen to the song, what
visual image do you create in your
mind?

Breakaway is a song of freeing

the spirit to reach perfection. It
is my favorite because…

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Visual Image
 Preparing a Concept Map
Title Breakaway
Thesis Statement Breakaway is a song of freeing the spirit to
reach perfection. It is my favorite because………….

Childhood Message Inspires a

memories of hope philosophy of life

Living in NY Hoping for a Live a full life.

better life Take a risk
Apartment
Being brave Take a chance
building
Make a change
Feeling afraid Taking risks Break away
Moving to PR ©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar
Organizing ideas
Thesis: Breakaway is a song of freeing the spirit
to reach perfection. It is my favorite because..
 Subgroup 1:Childhood memories
 Living in New York was an experience that made me feel in
prison
 Apartment buildings limited your freedom
 I always felt afraid that something bad would happen.
 I would pray that someday things would be different.
 Moving to Puerto Rico was the best thing that ever happen
to me

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Organizing ideas
 Subgroup 2: Message
 Breakaway was like my prayer in which I
hoped for a better life.
 My dreams came true, but I had to be
brave to this new beginning
 There were many risks that had to be
taken

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Organizing ideas
 Subgroup 3: Motivating words for living
a full life.
 Taking risks is part of reaching perfection
 Chances are never programmed you need
to take them as they come
 We need to make changes in our lives and
breakaway from the comfort zone.

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Prepare an outline for the
essay
I. Thesis Statement Outline
A. Subtopics
B. Transition sentence
II. Subgroup 1 Topic sentences of developmental paragraphs
A. Details
B. Details
C. Details
D. Transition sentence
III. Subgroup 2 Topic sentences of developmental paragraphs
A. Details
B. Details
C. Details
D. Transition sentence
IV. Subgroup 3 Topic sentences of developmental paragraphs
A. Details
B. Details
C. Details
V. Concluding Paragraph
©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar
Outline the Essay
Breakaway to Freedom
I. Breakaway is a song of freeing the spirit
to reach perfection. It is my favorite because..
A. My childhood memories
B. Its message
C. Motivating words
D. Transition sentence

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Outline the Essay
II. The song reflects my childhood memories.
A. Living in New York was an experience that
made me feel in prison
B. Apartment buildings limited your freedom
C. I always felt afraid that something bad would
happen.
D. I would pray that someday things would be
different.
E. Moving to Puerto Rico was the best thing that
ever happen to me
F. Transition sentence

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Organizing ideas
III. Message
A. Breakaway was like my prayer in which I
hoped for a better life.
B. My dreams came true, but I had to be brave
to this new beginning
C. There were many risks that had to be taken
D. Transition

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Outline the Essay
IV. Motivating words for living a full life.
A. The song invites us to take a risk
B. It also tells us to take a chance
C. We need to make a change in our life
D. We have to break away from what is
customary and conforming or just from
the routine.

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Conclusion
 Breakaway is a song that inspires
anyone to follow their inner voice, and
inspires us to be the best. It gives us
the opportunity to be free.

Essay

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

Use of Transitions
 Examples of Transitions:
http://www.google.com.pr/search?
hl=es&q=transitions+in+paragraphs&lr
=

©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar

References
 Ellis et.al. (1998). Write On! A Grammar-
Composition Workbook. Puerto Rico:
Editorial Plaza Mayor.
 Breakaway. M. Gerrard/B. Benante/A.
Lavigne)
Used for educational purposes
 Smalley, R.L. & Ruetten, M.K. (1995).
Refining Composition Skills. Boston: Heinle
and Heinle
©2007 Mercedes Torres Almodóvar