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GargoyleIssue12April2

GargoyleIssue12April2

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Published by: ucgargoyle on Apr 06, 2011
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02/06/2013

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CarlaVahagnNathan
Andrew Alyssa
IrisGavinJanette
 
| April 5, 2011 | Volume fty-six, issue 12 |
Masthead
2010-2011 / 2011-2012
content editor-in-chief 
andrew campana / angjelin hila
managing editor-in-chief 
janette speare / carla mesa guzzo
production managers
kyle turner & nathan cockram /jasmine chorley foster & alyssa kuhnert
copy editors
angjelin hila / fan wu
politics
nathan cockram / jasmine chorley foster
opinion
gavin nowlan / maya bernal kotlier
science
vahagn karapetyan & kyle turner
centrefold 
angjelin hila
arts & culture
emily sommers / alyssa kuhnert & jon wu
avant-garg
sila özkara / iris liu
comics
ileea larente
staff 
cat penny anamarija koroljaschille clarke-mendesjohn cherkasillya mykytynmaxwell benwell
About us
The Gargoyle is University College’s nest (sexiest)student newspaper and is a bi-weekly publication. Westrive to produce an open forum for discussion on any topic. We have no political agenda except the free-doms of speech, press and expression. We hold incontempt ignorance, censorship and bad writing. Joinus, for the greatest truths are dressed in the gaudiestof lies whereas our pages are all tastefully designed.
ofce hours: mon-fri 12pm to 5pm
The Gargoyle dungeon/ofce is located in F6,accessed by the F door in the UC quad.416.946.0941
www.ucgargoyle.caucgargoyle@gmail.com
front & back covers
gargoyle editorial collective 2010-2011/2011-2012
centrefold 
iris liu
contributors
mr. w. w. baldwinlaura b.alex teppermanbenjamin mcgirrconnie loerik j. braccciodietaamanda stock justin day red mcsnappersimon melocheevelyn awesometea. k. hadziristic
Table of contents
garguation
... 3
politics
... 4
- political primer- the international community upholds the R2Pdoctrine
opinion
... 6
arts & culture
... 9
- class (no, not in the Marxist sense...)- an editor’s parting words- warpaint at wrongbar- beyond Margaret Atwood’s frightening persona- lcd soundsytem please don’t go
centrefold 
... 12
mandrew manpana
... 14
science
... 15
- kyle is sad- kyle nds out- an unholy marriage- a disappearing icon- janette’s medicine cabinet- got a gucci bag? get a gucci baby - something shy 
avant-garg
... 18
comics
... 22
- one red room- empress- carpool lane- untitled- the eternal ahh- tender lush- bloody moon blues- 5 a.m. aubade- nally - something aboutwizards- illustrated rap songs- carla watches friday - space llers- last week’s winner- on the Salterrae- dispatch from the inter-net- howzat cricket!- pdas: portrayals of dis-gusting affection- conversation conrnerAs I sit here in the cold but somehow still uncomfortably humid Garg ofce, surrounded by my own cast-off coffee cups and lth, nished for the last time with aneight-hour InDesign bender interspersed with yelling at lazy editors and pulling out my hair, I sit down to write a heartfelt editorial and nd that I am instead lledwith RAGE!!!!!!! FUCK THIS NEWSPAPERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!But I’m trying to calm down. The hate that I feel is not really for this paper that has been with me for the entirety of my undergraduate career, and I want us to parton good terms. After all, we’ve shared so much of our lives together, and much as Gargy has been a time drain for me, it has also been a therapeutic alternative tothe dreariness of academics, and I hope it has been both of those things for you, lovely reader, as well.Seriously, being the editor-in-chief of such a ne UC publication (I hesitate to say newspaper—I think we’re technically a pamphlet) has been a fantastic time andI love and cherish everyone who was involved this year, especially the staffs, who kept coming out to help even though we are all really weird; and especially theeditorial collective, who I know at this point much, much too well; and especially next year’s editors-to-be, who are amazing enough to ll in for the 9000 of us whoare leaving; and
especially
my co-editor-in-chiefdom Andrew, for whom I will be bearing a child seven months from now. A HAIR CHILDAnyway, let’s talk about this issue. It’s unusually big, for one thing. 24 pages! Check out the famous last words of all eight graduating editors, probably as pretty asthey’ll ever look. Get primed on the coming election in Politics, and talk about the internets in Opinions. Check out the Science and Arts & Culture editors’ swansong admonishments to get involved and maybe write for the Gargoyle. And let me throw my voice in there, just quickly: If you’re reading this, write us back some-thing! Reader mail has gotten scarcer in the ve years I’ve been involved with the Garg and it’s almost extinct. Don’t you ever get offended? If you don’t tell us whatyou think, in a couple years this paper will just run dick photos on every page, every week. And it’ll be your fault!What else do I want to say? Eat at Diabolos’, they need your business terribly. Find an ofce on campus to call your home, because having somewhere to nap peace-fully between classes is the bomb. UC can usually be accessed on weekends if you are sneaky. Always check the Art Centre for free wine and food. Ramsay Wrighthas crocodiles in the basement. Never go to Convocation Hall on acid. Eh...that’s about all I’ve learned here. Now go forth and teach the next generation.Garg out,
 
Janette SpeareManaging Editor-in-Chief The Gargoyle 2006-2011
 
garguation 3
2011 Gargoyle grads
Emily Sommers
Subject Posts:
Adobe Creative Suite, Libraryology 
Years active:
2006-2011
Fav UC Lit prez:
what’s a u-clit?
5 years from now:
I will be livin’ it up at the Library of Congress.WOOT!
Memorable moments:
Hangin’ out with all my Garg peeps every Thursday night. WHATUP!
Parting words:
“Anything for my princess!”“I don’t want to move to a city where theonly cultural advantage is being able tomake a right turn on a red light.”
Andrew Campana Nathan CockramVahagn Karapetyan Gavin NowlanSıla ÖzkaraJanette Speare Kyle Turner
Subject Posts:
3am Perfectionism, Poetry 
Years active:
2007-2011
Fav UC Lit prez:
n/a
5 years from now:
A Wittgenstein scholar, surrounded by self-made books of sorts, drinking excessiveamounts of tea
Memorable moments:
Thursday evenings with the Garg, walks toand from Robarts, snow, campus ghost tours
Parting words:
These words in writing are already a
part 
(for all you fans of 
différance
). We arealways already a-part.
Subject Posts:
MAJ Pill popper, MIN Show stopper
Years active:
2006-2011
Fav UC Lit prez:
Jaime Auron! Yeah you da man!
5 years from now:
The woman who looks for beer cans inyour garbage
Memorable moments:
I’ll never forget the time Nathan ate a beercan.
Parting words:
If you’re not sure what it is, just eat it!
Subject Posts:
MAJ Ant Counting, MIN Sarcasm,MIN Fatigue
Years active:
2007-2011
Fav UC Lit prez:
Gavin Nowlan, 2011-2012
5 years from now:
Still in graduate school (counting ants)
Memorable moments:
One time the sun was low and bright over theice on front campus and it was very moving.
Parting words:
Science rulez
Subject Posts:
MAJ History, MIN Sexual Diversity Studies,MIN Explaining my minor
Years active:
2008-2011
Fav UC Lit prez:
Arman...wait, was he the prez? Is he stillhere?
5 years from now:
Watching my kid Graduate from UC. I loveyou princess!
Memorable moments:
Having to learn what the Raelians are, forall the wrong reasons.
Parting words:
Loyal I began, and loyal I will remain.
Subject Posts:
MIN Pinky, MAJ Brain
Years active:
2007-2011
Fav UC Lit prez:
I’m a Victorian and I am impartial…
5 years from now:
Still in school
Memorable moments:
Ordering Popeyes and watching Housu, agood mixture of junk from the West andthe East
Parting words:
Quit prostituting your mind and think for once!
Subject Posts:
Philosophy Specialist
Years active:
2008-2011
Fav UC Lit prez:
Umm David Naylor?
5 years from now:
Two tours of duty inAfganistan with the Para Regiment.
Memorable moments:
Blasting my favoirite band, the Fall, atproduction nights, much to the ire of cer-tain staff members.
Parting words:
“Hold on to your brains!”
Subject Posts:
SPE East Asian Studies, MAJ East AsianStudies Studies, MIN Studies Studies
Years active:
2007-2011
Fav UC Lit prez:
William Henry Harrison
5 years from now:
Waiting 24 hours in line to be the rst totheorize the Playstation 4.
Memorable moments:
When my issues with hair became the HairIssue.
Parting words:
Shanté, you stay. Now: sashay away.

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