Dear Ms.

Labelle,

Russian-born, teenage violinist Nadia Godunov struggles to reclaim her life after a tragic
accident crushes her dream.

Nadia awakens in the hospital from a three-day coma with a broken left hand and is devastated
to learn she may never play the violin again – and worse yet, her boyfriend, Marcus, died in the
accident. She must battle to overcome her grief and guilt, but her fear of change is
overwhelming. She has to find a way to move on without him or her music. Comment [LL1]: The first two 
paragraphs are great. 
When the broken bones in her hand heal, her fingers refuse to find the correct notes, shattering Deleted: ,
her dreams of going pro. Given a second chance, she discovers that if she focuses her mind, she Deleted: perhaps without
will keep her virtuoso status. Her new-found telekinetic abilities may help her play, but the
Deleted: in her hand
headaches it produces makes her second-guess her extra chance.
Formatted: Highlight
Just as normalcy ensues, an undead Marcus waltzes into her life, and he wants her back. Her Comment [LL2]: This needs work.  
former boyfriend, now a vampire, offers a lifetime of forever, and Nadia must decide between See below. 

her love for him and her love of music. Formatted: Highlight
Comment [LL3]: This is pretty good, 
A 68,000-word paranormal novel for young adults, Virtuoso explores one young woman's just a couple of teaks.  See below.
journey to find herself through grief, guilt, and love.

I have various short stories published in magazines and anthologies. I am a member of the
Virginia Writers Club and Valley Writers, and place third in Roanoke Valley's Big Read writing
contest.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Cherie Reich

Cherie,

Thanks for allowing me to critique your query and post it on my blogs. Reading is subjective
and, to a certain extent, so is editing. Take what works and ignore the rest.

The first two paragraphs work. Now, let’s move things around to make the third paragraph
stronger. (Plus, we need to combine the third and fourth paragraphs because your blurb should
only be one to two, and yours is three.)

When the broken bones in her hand heal, her fingers refuse to find the correct notes, shattering
her dreams of going pro. Nadia fights to overcome this challenge and keep her virtuoso status.
In doing so, she discovers another ability—telekinesis. Her newfound gift may help her play, but
the headaches it produces make her question her second chance. And just as normalcy returns,
an undead Marcus waltzes into her life and wants her back. Now a vampire, he offers her a
lifetime of forever, and Nadia must decide between her love for him and her love for music.

Otherwise, the rest of the query is great. Good job!

Lynnette Labelle
www.labelleseditorialservices.com