sliding drawer, and put some ashes in it, saying that she liked the thought of part of Davidcoming to rest on a remote and uninhabited island. It was only later, after I’d driven away fromher house, that I realized that she’d given me the ashes as much for my sake as for hers or David’s. She knew, because I had told her, that my current state of flight from myself had begunsoon after David’s death, two years earlier. At the time, I’d made a decision not to deal with thehideous suicide of someone I’d loved so much but instead to take refuge in anger and work.Now that the work was done, though, it was harder to ignore the circumstance that, arguably, inone interpretation of his suicide, David had died of boredom and in despair about his futurenovels. The desperate edge to my own recent boredom: might this be related to my havingbroken a promise to myself? The promise that, after I’d finished my book project, I would allowmyself to feel more than fleeting grief and enduring anger at David’s death?And so, on the last morning of January, I arrived in heavy fog at a spot on Masafuera called LaCuchara (The Spoon), three thousand feet above sea level. I had a notebook, binoculars, apaperback copy of “Robinson Crusoe,” the little book containing David’s remains, a backpackfilled with camping gear, a grotesquely inadequate map of the island, and no alcohol, tobacco,or computer. Apart from the fact that, instead of hiking up on my own, I’d followed a young parkranger and a mule that was carrying my backpack, and that I’d also brought along, at variouspeople’s insistence, a two-way radio, a ten-year-old G.P.S. unit, a satellite phone, and severalspare batteries, I was entirely isolated and alone.My first experience of “Robinson Crusoe” was having it read to me by my father. Along with “LesMisérables,” it was the only novel that meant anything to him. From the pleasure he took inreading it to me, it’s clear that he identified as deeply with Crusoe as he did with Jean Valjean(which, in his self-taught way, he pronounced “Gene Val Gene”). Like Crusoe, my father feltisolated from other people, was resolutely moderate in his habits, believed in the superiority of Western civilization to the “savagery” of other cultures, saw the natural world as something to besubdued and exploited, and was an inveterate do-it-yourselfer. Self-disciplined survival on adesert island surrounded by cannibals was the perfect romance for him. He was born in a roughtown built by his pioneer father and uncles, and he’d grown up working in road-building campsin the boreal swampland. In our basement in St. Louis, he kept an orderly workshop in which hesharpened his tools, repaired his clothes (he was a good seamster), and improvised, out of wood and metal and leather, sturdy solutions to home-maintenance problems. He took myfriends and me camping several times a year, organizing our campsite by himself while I ran inthe woods with my friends, and making himself a bed out of rough old blankets beside our fibrefill sleeping bags. I think, to some extent, I was an excuse for him to go camping.My brother Tom, no less a do-it-yourselfer than my father, became a serious backpacker after he went away to college. Because I was trying to emulate Tom in all things, I listened to hisstories of ten-day solo treks in Colorado and Wyoming and yearned to be a backpacker myself.My first opportunity came in the summer I turned sixteen, when I persuaded my parents to letme take a summer-school course called “Camping in the West.” My friend Weidman and I joineda busload of teen-agers and counsellors for two weeks of “study” in the Rockies. I had Tom’sobsolescent red Gerry backpack and, for taking notes on my somewhat randomly chosen areaof study, lichens, a notebook identical to the one that Tom carried.On the second day of a trek into the Sawtooth Wilderness, in Idaho, we were all invited to spendtwenty-four hours by ourselves. My counsellor took me off to a sparse grove of ponderosa pine