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Published by Emily Cecilia

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Published by: Emily Cecilia on Apr 25, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Emily McGannEDPR 432- Unit Analysis Part 5April 28, 2011Impact on Student LearningI have positively impacted student learning by motivating students toincrease the detail they put in their writing, the descriptive words they use,and the emotions they reveal in their writing. As ten-year olds, these FourthGrade students were not familiar with adding depth to their writing. Withtheir pre-puberty age and limited life experience, tapping into their emotionsand feelings about life events was a struggle. One of the strong points of their age, in regards to writing a Memoir, is how self-centered they are. Theyare very focused on themselves at this point and are just working on lookingat issues from alternate perspectives. When the students had to write storiesabout themselves and the events that affected the way they act or view theworld, being ego-centric was an advantage for them. I used their strengthsand tailored my lessons to building up their areas of need to make a positiveimpact on student learning. The work samples I have selected demonstrate my impact on studentlearning. My work samples from Student A, sample a-1 and a-2, demonstratethe growth that student made on the details they included in their writing. The work samples for Student B, sample b-1 and b-2, show how that student
used more specific descriptors in their writing of their memoir. Student C,evidence of their work is in sample c-1 and c-2, made a lot of growth on theemotions that they shared and the way they described their feelings fromthe first draft that they wrote to the final copy of their paper. While everystudent did not develop in the same areas, I saw growth in each student’swriting during this writing unit.Student A, sample a-1 and a-2, demonstrated their growth in detailedwriting by the increase in length and coverage of the setting and sequencesof actions in the story. The student included basic events, who, what, when,how, and what they learned in their five sentence paper. They knew thatmemoirs needed to focus on one key event or things that influenced them. They struggled to develop details in their writing. After working with thestudent, through multiple conferences, I was able to help her add greaterdepth to her writing. Readers can now understand the feelings she felt,noises she heard, specific movements she made, and much more from herimproved story about her adventure at the beach. From these work samples,sample a-1 and a-2, I learned that students sometimes overlook the littledetails. They see the big picture and try to just give the main ideas of whatthey think teachers want to hear or what readers want to know. Students atthis age are self-centered and have a hard time imagining what details theyneed to include to help their story make sense. They tend to think everyonehas the same experiences as them and would know exactly what they aretalking about. This will improve my future teaching because I will realize that
I cannot be self-centered and must take into consideration the limited lifeexperiences that my students have. I will try to do more direct and specificprompting when asking questions to them, so they know exactly what I want.Student B, sample b-1, b-2, and b-3, demonstrated their growth indescriptive words by increasing the depth of their explanation and the wordsthey used to explain the situations. Student B gave details, but they werevery ordinary, plain, and abrupt. He described his character climbing up ahole, down a hole, up to find his yard, back down a hole to find a snake, andthen found a banana. The descriptive words are very limited on that writingpiece, a piece written before the memoir unit started. Sample b-2 is anwriting piece from their brainstorming period when they were learning whata memoir was and discovering what they wanted to write about. His firstdraft of his memoir includes a higher level of descriptions about the event(what he likes, what the sand dollars look like, the size of the wave, length of time surfing, etc.). His writing is improved even more with the next draft,after a few conferences with me, as he gave specific measurements andcharacteristics (“..like 2 centimeters,” “blue jellyfish,” “hairy man,” “pointyfins”), told why he was at the beach and how he went belly boarding (“it wassummer vacation,” “got in ready position,” “took a deep breath,”), and usedbetter describing words for “fall” (“about to slip,” “crashed into the water”).From these work samples, sample b-1, b-2, and b-3, I learned that studentswill use more creative describing words in their verbal language, but take theeasy way out and use plain descriptions when they write. I will try to get

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