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NoLongerKonstant

NoLongerKonstant

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Published by juliesllama3343

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Published by: juliesllama3343 on Apr 27, 2011
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04/27/2011

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No Longer Konstant
“ 
Konstantine
 
by Something Corporate Thoughts The Back-story
 
 
Jump on the bed, shoes off long ago.Soft sheets, plaid pillow, entertainment centerheadboard. CD player.
We were just kids. Kids in some kind of 
love
. We were friends, and maybe
that’s
 where it gets dangerous. Kids through therough times, getting acquainted with ourbodies. You used to call me at all hours, justto ask me those silly things boys wonder.Why do girls go to the bathroom together?What do girls think about before bed? Whatdo you do when you get up in the morning?Simple. I was your leader through the world Ilived in: girls. You were wide-eyed andlistened to me be vague and cool. Youlistened to my advice but never took it.Never. Everything we had was for show. Isaid something and it was only words. Wordswere all I ever had.
Friend
is only a word.
Push button. Wait. Place old used up CD. Pushbutton.Wait.Wait.Piano.Wait.You.
 I can't imagine all the people that you know And the places that you goWhen the lights are turned down low And I don't understand 
You open, close the door. You smile. Listen.I mouth the words.
 All the things you've seen But I'm slipping in betweenYou and your big... dreams It's always you and my big dreams
Sitting. Waiting. Fingers touching.
 And you tell meThat it's over  But I can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clover  And your restless And I'm naked 
Heartbreak. Openness. Not you, only me.Trying to be so raw. You like sandpaper.I think 
…who is who? Am
I
“I” or am I “you”
 
You've got to get out You can't stand to see me shaking No, could you let me go I didn't think so
The door closes. You left me. Trembling. It
sall too similar.Finding clichés.
 And you don't want to be here in the future
I am
you
. Five years later I am finally
“you”.
 
 
 
Just like everything else in our relationship,everyone knew, but you always denied it. weweren
t friends to you. Until we were. Then I
wasn’t
your girlfriend. We never got pastthat. I never was your girlfriend, always asecret. You used to tell me,
don
t tellanyone!
and I would say,
who am I going totell?
It was true. I had no one to tell. Youwere my whole world and I was nothing toyou. No friends, no family, no one in thewhole world existed except you, and youwere never there. You kept everything asecret. Your family
didn’t
know I existed untilI insisted. You lived with your mom and yourbrother, in that tiny house that he couldbarely maneuver in. We c
ouldn’t
drive, so
So you sayThe present's just a pleasant  Interruption to the past  And you don't want to look much closer 'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hopeThat you had sent into the sky by now had...crashed  And it did because of me
Balloons. Bubbles. Bright summer skies. Bikes.Bursting.
 And then you bring me home Afraid to find out that you're alone, no And I'm sleeping in your living room But we don't have much roomTo live
Could it be? Could you be the one? Could wehave a living room? Could we live there?Could we be happy?
 And I had dreams that I would learn to playguitar  Maybe cross the country Become a rock star  And there was hope in meThat I could take you there But dammit you're so young
Famous. Lights. Love. Could this be you?There was so much hope. Where did all thehope go?
 But I don't think I care And if I hurt you then I'm sorryPlease don't think that this was easy
He could always say it, but you never could.What kind of man can never apologize?
 And then you bring me home'Cause we both know what its like to be alone,no And I'm dreaming in your living room But we don't have much roomTo live
Doghouses. I should have put you in thedoghouse years ago. Why
didn’t
I?

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