Sms Jokes in Catageari

FRIENDSHIP
☻FRIENDSHIP TEST...
thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN
u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS
sTilL tHeRe...
☻FRIENDS
True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are
like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.
☻F.U.C.K
REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K
stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK
till eternity!
☻FRIENDSHIP IS....
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but
how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go
but how U hold oN!!!
☻ PRICELESS GIFT
FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To
Have An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!
☻SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED

If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me,
come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE
REACHED!
☻ COMPARE
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be,
but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...
☻FRIENDS 4 LIFE
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is
hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!
☻COMPUTER
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart,
'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my
memory!
☻FRIENDS ALWAYS
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is
DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME &
beyond DISTANCE!
☻ANGEL FRIENDS
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels
but I call them my best friends.
☻OUT OF MY CONTROL
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love
with you was completely out of my control.
☻ MEMORY LASTS FOREVER

A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together
and never say good bye.
☻ FRIENDSHIP
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.
☻ NEVER SPLIT
I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our
friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet
again.
☻NEVER LOSE TRUE FRIENDS

I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat
loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true
friends.
☻ WITHOUT A FRIEND LIKE U

EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE
reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...
☻ BEHIND YOU
DuRiNg OuR FrIeNdShIp, ThErE wIlL B TiMeS U wOn't SeE Me BeSiDe U,
DuN ThInK I LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuSt ChOsE To WaLk BeHiNd U So I CaN
CaTcH U WhEn U Fall...
☻ NAKED
GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd
probably die laughing.
☻ MAKING LOVE
After making love, wat r u tryin to say? I love u? Wrong! 1 more time?
Wrong. U r so pretty?Wrong. I'm so tired? Wrong! The answer is
tissue...tissue...plsss!!!
☻KISS
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. what is a kiss without a tongue.
☻PAINTING
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with
leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered
- waitng 4 autumn.
☻FALLING APART
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell
off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the
bathroom.
☻HOME EARLY
1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to
the guy, 'Hey buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came
home early.'
☻ NEVER LOSE ME!

We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL
NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!
☻BEST FREN
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.
☻SHOOTING STARS
The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really
beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our hearts.... Friends forever~!!!
☻ KEEPING A FRIEND
KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep
them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I swear I'm
keeping U..
☻ PROMISE
We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still
friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's
definitely a lifetime PROMISE!
☻FLOWER
If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden
& cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!
☻ A RING
A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend.
☻WONDERFUL FRIEND
There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the
gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in u!
☻WAT U SEE
Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never
dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within
my heart!
☻ FATE 2B FRIENDS
A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your
life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure the friendship between
us.
☻ WHAT YOU SAY

Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best
friends listen to what you don't say...
☻ FRIENDSHIP MEANS...
I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh..
I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again..
hahaha
☻ ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU...

Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are
always there for you...
☻ LEAVING FOOTPRINTS
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will
leave footprints in your heart.
☻AS LONG AS....

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have
hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is never
a waste.
☻ MY BRA
a gd friend is like a gd bra... hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, and
always close to the heart..... HELLO MY GD BRA :)
☻ PRICETAGS
GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because.....
if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!
☻OLD FRIENDS
Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like
wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u
get OLDER.
☻ PATH OF FRIENDSHIP
The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship
shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :)
☻ NIGHT PRAYER
Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy?
If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.
☻ABOUT ME
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends,
Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?
☻ GOOD TASTE
A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection. A picture
is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING me as ur FRIEND is a form of..
ehem GOOD TASTE!
☻ BE MY FRIEND
If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take
the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step to be there for you.
☻ RULES TO BE HAPPY
6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from
worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR
FRIEND
☻ FRIENDS
Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be
thankful that once, along my life's journey I found a friend like U...
☻KISS MY ASS
The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The
morning dew may kiss the grass,But u my friend can kiss my ass!
☻RING
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe
her rear I'd see the promised land....
☻ FRIENDS LIKE HAIR

Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough
$money$ you can buy them back.
☻NICE FRIENDS
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my
everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet
dreams...
FUNNY
☻We will now upgrade your brain, please
wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN
found...!
☻I'M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS
TEST. AS YOU ARE READING I'M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR
EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE
SMILING
☻All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all
the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.
☻If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met
everybody.
☻When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When
a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
☻Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
☻Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
☻Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
☻I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
☻Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
☻First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the
suffering.
☻Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
☻Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft
lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever
seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!
☻Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.
☻Bad sex is better then a good day in school.
☻Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's
own!!!!
☻Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO
SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…
☻Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you
wish you could just pluck them from your dreams......
☻My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself
too...
☻Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? ...Okay, then can we
just practice?
☻I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
☻Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks your an asshole…
☻If you wanna be a hipi, put you flower in your pipi…
☻Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!
☻Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your
penis...........................ERROR: Your penis was not found!
Sorry..............
☻Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's
own!!!!
☻It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park
meat in girl.
☻News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching
tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading
this txt message
☻God made man and then rested. God made women and then no
one rested
☻The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
☻CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down
Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
☻Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
☻This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an
dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read
without the word dog.
☻Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
☻I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over
you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice
cream!
☻ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
☻Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army
instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for
50p.
☻Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower
than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a
maniac?
☻Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
☻Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
☻I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you
change gears...
☻There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her
boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
☻What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
☻What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
☻I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
☻A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
☻Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves
tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
☻What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
☻Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
☻Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know
how to drive this thing?"
☻What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
☻The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
stupidity of your action.
☻Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
☻WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-
kind!
☻What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
☻Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
☻Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
☻What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!
☻What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina
Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors
☻Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
☻Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!
☻Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his
stomach is aiming just a little too high.
☻I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body
experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.
☻I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
☻How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
☻For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
☻What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
☻Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a
cucumber field.
☻Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.
☻Whits pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!
☻What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love?
Honey, I'm home!
☻What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who
knows everything.
☻How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.
☻Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.
☻Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
☻Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?
A: An f****ing know it all.
☻ A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and
beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
☻ Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.
☻ I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for
the night?
☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
☻ Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every
fourth child born is chinese.
☻ What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...
☻I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
☻ It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
☻ I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
☻ Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to
get you.
☻ You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
butter.
☻ I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
☻ My Reality Check bounced.
☻ Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
☻ Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will
whiz on your computer.
☻ Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!
☻Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
☻Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
☻There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
☻Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back
☻As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing
☻Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
☻What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.
☻What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department
at the parachute packing plant
☻Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
☻A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
☻Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1
☻What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.
☻What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.
☻A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
☻Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding
ring, and suffering
☻How Dogs and Women are alike.....
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.
☻Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife
would have preferred.
☻If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?
☻Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at
pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"
☻If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
☻Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
that's how dogs spend their lives.
☻I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.
☻I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would
have smelled of.
☻Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He
drowned.
☻A woman walked into a fancy cocktail bar and asked the barman
for a "double entendre" - so he gave her one!
☻Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't
want your type in here"
☻A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is
this some kind of joke?"
☻A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't
serve food in here"
☻A dyslexic man walks into a bra
☻A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and
says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
☻A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides
up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my
paw."
☻Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's
Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental
medication.
☻I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to
arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
☻Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it.
☻News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching
tv.. another playing football and the third one was caught reading
this txt message
☻God made man and then rested. God made women and then no
one rested
☻The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
☻CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down
Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
☻This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an
dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read
without the word dog.
☻Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
☻I want to suck you.. lick you.. wanna move my tongue all over
you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice
cream!
☻ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
☻Don't spend £2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army
instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for
50p.
☻Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower
than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a
maniac?
☻Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
☻Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
☻I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you
change gears...
☻There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her
boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
☻What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
☻What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
☻I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
☻A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
☻Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves
tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
☻What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
☻Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
☻Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know
how to drive this thing?"
☻What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
☻The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
stupidity of your action.
☻Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
☻WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-
kind!
☻What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
☻Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
☻What do Germans use for birth control?
Their personalities!
☻Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
☻What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!
☻What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina
Currie?
One fucked the miners, the other fucked the Majors
☻Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
☻Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!
☻Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his
stomach is aiming just a little too high.
☻I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body
experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.
☻What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a German?
A man who's too drunk to follow orders.
☻I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
☻How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
☻For sale : Air Bags, Used once.
☻What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
☻What's the definition of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a
cucumber field.
☻Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.
☻What's pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!
☻What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love?
Honey, I'm home!
What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows
everything.
☻How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.
☻Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.
☻Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
☻Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?
A: An fucking know it all.
☻A chicken sandwich walked into the bar, ordered some food and
beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
☻Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
☻Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.
☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the
night?
☻Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every
fourth child born is chinese.
☻What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...
☻Q: How did the Pollack burn his face?
A: Bobbing for french fries.
☻Q: What's difference between Yogurt and Australia?
A: One has a real live culture.
☻Q: What's diff between Michael Jackson and grocery bag?
A: Ones white, made outta plastic and dangerous for kids to play
with. The other you carry groceries in.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Fanny.
Fanny who?
Fanny the way you keep saying 'Who's there? Every time I knock.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's There?
A midget who cant reach the doorbell.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and let me in!
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Harry, Butch, and Jimmy.
Harry, Butch and Jimmy who?
Harry up, Butch your arms around me, and Jimmy a kiss.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive across the road.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Mummy.
Mummy who?
Mummeasles are better so can I come in?
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
There's no need to cry, it's only a joke.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam key broke in the lock.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I called by?
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Mister.
Mister who?
Mister last bus home.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Ivor.
Ivor who?
Ivor sore hand from knocking so much.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
York.
York who?
York coming over to my place tonight?
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel broken? I had to knock.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here.
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Who's there?
Who's there?
Aunt.
Aunt who?
Aunt you glad Grandma's gone?
☻Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Doris.
☻friendship
Doris who? is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u
can feel
Doris its true
locked warmth.thank
- that's u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx
why I knocked.
☻(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore
arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
☻He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when
downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into
her hotmail she screamed yahoo!
☻Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will
be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE
MAN!!
☻Viagra now available in eye drops, you don't get an erection but
you look hard!
☻T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on
everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down
on u.not even a network
☻I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday.
Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!
DECENT JOKES
☻ KNOWING YOURSELF
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and
know someone else and expect them to know
you.
☻ WHO YOU TRUST
There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is
keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time
around.
☻ GRATEFUL
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right
one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be
grateful.
☻ WASTING YOUR TIME

Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their
time on you.
☻YOUR SMILE
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile.
☻ YOU CAN'T...
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing
you can't have them.
☻ BEAUTIFUL MOON
I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I... I'd rather
look at the moon again.. ;)
☻ TYPE OF EGGS
There r 6 types eggs. Chicken egg = ji dan, Duck egg = ya dan, Bomb = zha
dan, Person readin dis = hun dan, if u r smilin nw = chun dan & if angry =
ben dan.
☻ VALUE OF LIFE
The value of life does not depend on the length of time on this Earth but
rather on the amount of love given and shared to the people we care
about.
☻ MEN!
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did
you ever notice how all problems begin with MEN!
☻ FRIENDSHIP MEANS...
I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh..
I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again..
hahaha
☻ HEARTBREAKS
Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and Cut as deep as you allow
them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn
from them.
INDECENT JOKES
☻ This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again......
Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly
git!!
☻ Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
☻ Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me,
caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I
can fuck u senseless.
☻ Don't be sad... don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too...
☻ Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When
U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a
panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!
☻ I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed &
lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new
watch tat glow in the dark
☻ What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we
don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
☻ Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz the good ones are
always taken and the rest are all disabled!
☻ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's
nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
☻ According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS Five RooMS:
1.FACE-show room 2.BOOBS-play room 3.TUMMY-store room
4.VAGINA-men's room 5.ANUS-emergency room
☻ Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook
searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found.
conclusion, your are gay!
☻ RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk
pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well
☻ I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an
Erikson, sucked me till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen
all over her Nokias!
☻ Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the
floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down &
fucked her again!
☻ NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000 dead...U.S.A
sending money, France sending food, Britain sending replacement
paki's!!!
☻ i went for a walk with my uncle jim, when somebody threw a
tomato
at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin. they fucking well
do when theyre still in the tin.....
☻ Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice
friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?
☻ Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me
fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout
☻ Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I
don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
☻ sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his
location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the
explanation or do you need a demonstration?
☻ BOY : May I hold your hand ??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy
☻ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
☻Advantages of breast milk
A. No need to boli
B. Cat cannot steal
C.available in attractive containers
D.Liked by all age groups
E.Ek Par Ek FREE
☻23 useless things in a man's body

20 nails cannot be hammered
2 balls u cannot throw
1 cock cannot crow
Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse
Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat

☻Cocktail makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum
dat makes u cum!
☻Triplets or I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see
Twins who wins!
☻satisfy a HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle,
woman fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console,
worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow
job
☻Life is like a Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
dick
☻Rainbow Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous
fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up
Bungles bum!
☻Love & War LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit
out of you!
☻Little Girl When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed &
put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I
can get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone
☻Virginity
forever!
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?
A)walnuts
☻Question Time Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?
A)chestnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?
A)a mouth full of cock!
QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur
☻The Truth girlfriend?
ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!
Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't
☻Pringles
stop!!
A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3
women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner &
☻Marriage
3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big
tits!
U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF
1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long
☻Getting Old
2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss
3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a
☻Baby Please rejection,my teeth are clean for ur inspection,so giv my
mouth a tongue injection!
HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF
☻Pair of tights? TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1
beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!
Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on
☻Sex+drugs weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u
only live once & den u die,so fuck em all & lets get high!
Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS
1)dey r always out of order
☻Men like toilets 2)dey stink
3)the nice ones r always engaged
4)dey consume large amounts of liquid
5)r constantlt full of shit!
Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn
☻Mary's bush
hairy!!!
Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you
☻Horny
babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY
1)so dis explains ur car!
☻5 bad things 2)but still work,right?
3)r u cold?
4)shood i get a pump?
5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da
☻Hickory,
clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da
dickory, dock
end of da block
☻Mary had a little Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen
lamb she took her panties off,his wooly dick got hard!
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat
☻Peter, Peter,
her,smacked her twice around da head, Fucked her arse
Pumpkin eater
& went 2 bed!
Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in
☻Being a student playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues
flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!
Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of
☻Down on her
his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn
Knees
to jelly cos shes doin a fuckin good job!
A cat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its
☻Cat and the paws wet,then it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF
Sausage THE STORY?The bigger the sausage the wetter the
pussy!
Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2
☻Oral sex shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u
lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!
☻Mary's bike Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time
the wheels went round the spokes went up her cunt
☻NewsFlash *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can
get 1000 tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a
limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !
☻Nutella I love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and
lick it all . Love always , Nutella.
☻U and the Pope do u know what's the diference between U geting laid,
and the pope geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a
sin, and if U get laid, its a miracle!! :)
☻Old Days in days of old wen knights were bold + condoms wernt
invented they tied socks around their cocks + people
like u were prevented.
Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll
Speed, weed and birthcontrol,
☻Sex, Drugs + lifes a bitch, then u die,
Birthcontrol so fuck the world
lets get high..
Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless

☻Kiss Me they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so
kiss me BABE im vacinated!
How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen.
☻How many
Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after
letters
him!
last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars,
☻My Roof? the moon and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is
my roof??
mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin
☻Foot and Mouth
in a field right now cos its got foot and mouth
What is the difference between blondes and traffic

☻Blondes signs?
Some traffic signs say stop
This is your mobile operator and we just found out you

☻Operator are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on
ground and start jumping on it . Thank you
☻Blonde what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde
Womens legs womens right leg? don't know they never met!
Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
☻This Way Up
370HSSV 0773H
This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it
i
il
i lo
☻I love you i lov
i love
i love y
i love yo
i love young girls with Shaven Pussys!
Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and
☻Mary's Lambs Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and now
they're black and crispy.
Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The
☻Sheep
others reply shut the fuck up your get us all shot.
☻Butter Your teeth are so yellow, i can't believe it's not butter!!!
☻Condom Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
factory condom factory.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see
☻Yo Mama
her.
Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark as
☻Mary Stinks
charcoal.So most the men go round the back and stick
it up her arsehole!
mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put
☻Mary's Duck
them on the mantlepiece to see if they would fuck
whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle
☻Tampons
tampon and a large tampon?....they r all stuck up cunts
SEX JOKES
☻SEX
SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U'll enjoy it! I'll Die w/out
SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u.
☻SEX ON TEXT
Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there...
yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!
☻YOU ARE WANTED

The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good
looking... So where are you gonna hide Me?
☻TALKING DIRTY
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a
woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
☻LOVE AND SEX

Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
☻SEX IS ...
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a
woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a
demonstration?!
☻GIVE ME ALL YOUR $$$

MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME.
can buy sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U
☻NIGHT PRAYER
Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy?
If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.
☻WHAT I NEED
I need a hug, I need touch, I need tender, I need a kiss, I need love, I need
sex, I need you!
☻WRONG NUMBER
U've got SEX APPEAL ... U've got INTELLIGENCE ... U've got CLASS ... U
got da FACE, U got da BODY ... I got the wrong number ... SORRY
☻NO SEX !
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-
sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
☻PHONE ENGAGE
hey! what happen 2 your hp? tried calling alot of times. everytime i dial
your no, operator kept sayin 'THE SUBSCRIBER U CALLING IS HAVING
SEX, PLS TRY LATER'
☻KENTUCKEY
A woman is like a kentuckey friedchicken, it has legs ,breasts and a
greasy box to stick your bone in.
☻TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

Twinkle, twinkle little rectum bigcockscum when you least expect
them, never mind the screams of passion whoop it up with doggy
fashion.
☻OLD MAN
There was an old man from gosham,
who got out his bollocks to wash'em,
His wife said oh jack if you don't put'em back,
i'll stand on the bastards and squash em!!!(new)
☻ARSE ICONS
(_!_) Regular arse
(__!__) Fat arse
(!) Tight arse
(_*_) Sore arse
(_o_) Well used arse
(_e=mc2_) Smart arse
(_x_) Kiss my arse
☻FAMILY
your father had your mother,
your mother had your brother,
it's just 2 bad your fathers mad and
your mothers now your lover
☻GUY PERIOD
If guys had they periods
They wouldcompare the size of their tampons!
☻DEMONSTRATION
Sex is when a guyscommunication enters a girls information to
increase the population for a younger generation do you get the
nformation...or do you need a demonstration
☻SEX IS EVIL
Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So stick it in.
☻VIRGIN
Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a slut.
☻GUYS
Guys are like roses,
Watch out for the pricks.
☻cOOL GIRL
Im acool girl,
in acool town
it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
☻HOT SEX
There is Hot-sex,
Fast-sex, Group-sex,
Safe-sex, Leather-sex,
Telephone-sex,
and for people with your face ...
NO SEX !
☻WOMENS NEEDS
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her
garage,
mink in hercloset, tiger in her bed!
And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!
☻SICK LEAVE
A guycall into work and says: Boss Ican´tcome to work to day, I´m
sick.
Boss asks: How sick are you?
The guy says: I´m fucking my sister how sick is that?
☻BRAND SEX
Sex is like nokia -connecting people
like Nike -just do it
Like Pepsi -ask for more
Like Samsung -everyone is invated
and like me -TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
☻VALANTINE
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell
happend to you?
☻F**KING MAFIA
Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia...
One wrong move and you are in DEEP SHIT!!!!
☻THE BUSH
When an apple is green it's ready to pluck
When a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!
☻The Alpahbet
a-ur attractive
b-ur beautiful
c-urcaring
d-ur delicous
e-ur exciting
f-ur funny
g-ur gorgeous
h-ur heavenly
I-IM
J-JUST
K-KIDDING
L-LOSER!
☻Luv is a sensation
Luv is a sensation dat iscaused by temptation,a boy puts his location
in a girls destination,do u get my explanation or do u wanna
demonstration?
☻Good Sex
Sex is good,
sex is fine,
doggy style or 69,
just for fun or getting paid,
everyone likes getting laid!
☻Equation
Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract urclothes, divide your
legs and wecan multiply!
☻Sex Guide
Bak 2 bak,
front 2 front,
on d table,lick dcunt,
stick it in,
do ur ting,
do it hard & make her sing,
tense ur body feel dcum,
den let it rip into her bum!
☻Luv me tender
Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch &
smile,watch me grin,watch thecum drip down mychin!
☻Life as a penis
5 reasons not 2 b a penis
1)ur bald ur entire life
2)both ur naybors r nutz
3)an arsehole lives b’hind u
4)ur bestm8s acunt
5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!
☻Pregnant
Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groaning as he slides slowly
in,itcant last 4eva,I no it’s a shame,dat 1 night of passion leads to
9months of pain!
☻Flying Fuck
Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuck you
flying,if you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and fuck you
rotten!
☻Beat Me
Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suck
me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!
☻£50 note tattood on yourcock

3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock:
1- Ucan play wiv ur money,
2- Ucan see ur money grow
3- Ur girlcan blow as much money as she wants
☻Bastard Rubber
D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv
u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av
happened if d rubber hadnt tore!
☻Nice Arse
I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like your arse!
☻Cat & Rooster

cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster starts
laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres a wet
pussy!
☻Love poem
Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in
between!
☻Bonna
There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?
☻Cocktail
Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is
it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes ucum!
☻Triplets or Twins
I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
☻How to satisfy a woman

HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil,
kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2
SATISFY A MAN; blow job
☻Life is like a dick

Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
☻Rainbow
Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got
silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
☻Love & War

LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
☻Little Girl
When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger
in,now im a woman & full of grace &charm,Ican get 4fingers in &
HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
☻Virginity is like a balloon

Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!
☻Question Time
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?
A)walnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on urchest?
A)chestnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on urchin?
A)a mouth full ofcock!
☻The Truth
QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend?
ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!
☻Pringles
Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, youcan't stop!!
☻Marriage
A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had achoice of 3 women!1st woz
a rich docter,2nd woz a poorcleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID
HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits!
☻Getting Old
U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF
1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long
2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss
3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
☻Baby Please
Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my
teeth areclean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
☻HOW MANY ANIMALScAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS?
10 little piggies,2calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1
smelly fish!
☻Sex+drugs+rock+rave
Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed
+little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so
fuck em all & lets get high!
☻Men like toilets

Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS
1)dey r always out of order
2)dey stink
3)the nice ones r always engaged
4)deyconsume large amounts of liquid
5)rconstantlt full of shit!
☻Mary's bush
Mary Mary, quitecontrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!
☻Horny
Roses are red, voilets arecorny, when i think of you babes it makes
me so HORNY!!!
☻5 bad things to say to a naked guy
5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY

1)so dis explains urcar!
2)but still work,right?
3)r ucold?
4)shood i get a pump?
5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
☻Hickory, dickory, dock
Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin mecock,daclock struck
2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block!
☻Mary had a little lamb

Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her
panties off,his wooly dick got hard!
☻Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked
her twice around da head, F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!
☻Being a student
Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv
tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in
hot oral sex!
☻Down on her Knees

Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in
her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jellycos shes doin a
fuckin good job!
☻Cat and the Sausage

Acat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws wet,then it
sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigger the
sausage the wetter the pussy!
☻Oral sex
Oral sexcan b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan &
quiver,den ucum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips
and start again!
☻Mary's bike
Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time the wheels
went round the spokes went up hercunt
☻Rhyme
a mans ocupation
is to stick hiscockulation
up a wommens ventulation to
increase the population of the
younger generation if u want a demonstation plz lie down!
☻NewsFlash
*NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that ican get 1000
tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY!
Its A bloody good deal !
☻Nutella
I love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and lick it all .
Love always , Nutella.
☻U and the Pope

do u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope
geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a
miracle!! :)
☻Durex
Do you wan't fun Do you wan't sex Don't forget durex
☻Old Days
in days of old wen knights were bold +condoms wernt invented they
tied socks around theircocks + people like u were prevented.
☻Sex, Drugs + Birthcontrol

Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll
Speed, weed and birthcontrol,
lifes a bitch, then u die,
so fuck the world
lets get high..
☻Kiss Me
Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted,
kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!
☻How many letters

How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went
Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
☻My Roof?
last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and
the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof??
☻Foot and Mouth

mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field
right nowcos its got foot and mouth
☻Blondes
What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
☻Operator
This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb
to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it
. Thank you
☻Blonde Womens legs

what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens
right leg? don't know they never met!
☻This Way Up
Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H
☻I love you
This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it
i
il
i lo
i lov
i love
i love y
i love yo
☻Mary's Lambs
Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day
they got foot and mouth and now they're black andcrispy.
☻Sheep
Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply
shut the fuck up your get us all shot.
☻Butter
Your teeth are so yellow, ican't believe it's not butter!!!
☻Condom factory
Your birthcertificate is an apology letter from thecondom factory.
☻Yo Mama
Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
☻Mary Stinks
Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark ascharcoal.So most the
men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!
☻Mary's Duck
mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the
mantlepiece to see if they would fuck!
☻Tampons
whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and a
large tampon?....they r all stuck upcunts!
☻Sex is like Maths

sex is like maths: Add the bed, subtractclothes, divide the legs...
and MULTIPLY!
☻Suspense
how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you
later !!!
☻Statistics
At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights
91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS
☻Farmer Joneshas
farmer Joneshas got no sheep,
isn't life a drag?
coz they're all burning in a field
he's got no sheep to shag
☻Gary Gliter
*Newsflash*
The FA have just announced gary gliter the next Englandcoach.
The appontmentcollapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under
15's
☻Ba Ba White Sheep

ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots
it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs &
shepherds pie
☻News Flash - Indian Earthquake

!!News flash!!
Indian earthquake kills 50 000!
USA sending food.
Australia sendingclothes.
britain sending ... ... ... Replacements
☻Leather Heather
there was a young girlcalled heather,whoscunt lips were made of
leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping
the edges together
☻Little Miss Drugy

little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame a
spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.
☻Jack and Jill
Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said
"WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
☻IRA
what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you
runcause he's got a grenade in his mouth
☻Dear Mammy love annie

There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a
prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and
down till it's sick.
☻Cock Sucker Detecotor
This is acock sucker detector
Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...
cOCK SUCKER !!
☻Pink Vagina
Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
☻Red Riding Hood

Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck your tits.
No she said lifting her skirt.
Eat me like the fucking book says!
☻Fuck for money

sex
☻Luvis good sex is funny
me tender,luv many people
me sweet,rap fuck
ur lips for money
around my meat,watch &
but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and
smile,watch me grin,watch thecum drip down mychin!safe your money
☻5 reasons not 2 b a penis

1)ur bald ur entire life
2)both ur naybors r nutz
3)an arsehole lives b'hind u
4)ur bestm8s acunt
5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!
☻Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groaning as he slides

slowly in,itcant last 4eva,I no it's a shame,dat 1 night of passion
leads to 9months of pain!
☻Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuck you
flying,if you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and fuck you
rotten!
☻Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suck

me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!
☻3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock:

1- Ucan play wiv ur money,
2- Ucan see ur money grow
3- Ur girlcan blow as much money as she wants
☻D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv
u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av
happened if d rubber hadnt tore!
☻I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like your arse!
☻Cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster

starts laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres
a wet pussy!
☻Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in
between!
☻There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?
☻Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u

randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes ucum!
☻I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
☻HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil,

kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2
SATISFY A MAN; blow job
☻Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
☻Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy

got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
☻LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
☻When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a
finger in,now im a woman & full of grace &charm,Ican get 4fingers in
& HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
☻Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!

☻There was a young girlcalled heather,whoscunt lips were made of
leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping
the edges together
☻little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame

a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed .
☻Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said
"WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
☻what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you
runcause he's got a grenade in his mouth
☻There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a
prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and
down till it's sick.
☻This is acock sucker detector
Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...
COCK SUCKER !!
☻Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?

And after sex?
☻Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck your tits.
No she said lifting her skirt.
☻sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money
but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money
☻What sexual position do you have to be in to make the most
ugliest kid?…. ask your parents
☻What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET
☻A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1
make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes
& says "iron these!"
☻Wots da closest thing to a womans period? ur salary! It cums once
a month.lasts About 3 or 4 days & if it doesnt cum every1s in trouble!
☻Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door
sideways is always going to Bangkok"
☻Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it's gone forever!
☻Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop you can't stop!!
EROTIC SMS
☻3 GOOD MANNERS
3 good manners of male penis. 1)Courteous-it stands before performing.
2)Emotional-it cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after
the performance.
☻MISTAKES
Learn from your parents' mistakes - Use birth control!
☻ PICTURE
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can
always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it
enlarged.
☻MAN
Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and mobile-phones... It will
come the time when SMALL PENIS will be in style, and then you will be the
man!!!
☻ COCUNUT
What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a
'T' and has U' and 'N' in the middle? Answer: 'COCUNUT'
☻ SHOWTIME
Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a
curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S
SHOWTIME!
☻LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG
What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us,
we can make a lot of money.
☻SEX MACHINE
When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my
headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.
☻ SEX ON TEXT
Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there...
yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!
☻ CARS
Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say
'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say
'Full Tank pls.'
☻ DEPRESSED
A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if
every morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the
same?
☻ BAR STOOL
How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside
down.
☻VIAGRA
CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available
through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for
MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you
☻ WE CAN MULTIPLY
Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs
and we can multiply!
☻ SNOW WHITE
*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She
was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and
shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'
☻ GLOW IN THE DARK

I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is
off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in
the dark
☻ PENIS & BALLS

Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u
never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always
keep vomiting!
☻ STUPID PYJAMAS
Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I
had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!
☻BRUSH MY TEETH
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy
foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my
teeth
☻ RING
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe
her rear I'd see the promised land....
☻ DUMB
What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with
no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an
asshole!
☻ SAGGY BOOB
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get
some support people are going to think we're nuts!
☻ BLOW JOB
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is
no ordinary blow job!
☻ COVER ME
What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'
☻ TITS DAIRY
I'd willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From
the very first day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn into a
dairy.
how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? .............

☻Suspense
............ ...tell you later !!!
At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in
☻Statistics gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is
reading this SMS
☻Farmer farmer Joneshas got no sheep,
Joneshas isn't life a drag?
☻Gary Gliter *Newsflash*
The FA have just announced garly gliter the next
England Coach.
The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman
in the under 15's
☻Ba Ba White ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff
Sheep official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill
the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie
☻Leather there was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips
Heather were made of leather they made a strange noise that
attracted the boys by flapping the edges together
☻Little Miss little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed
Drugy along came a spider skinned up beside her and sold
her some acid and speed.
Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n
☻Jack and Jill airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home &
DO IT PROPER
what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ...
☻IRA
... you run cause he's got a grenade in his mouth
☻Dear Mammy There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum
love annie what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your
fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
This is a cock sucker detector
☻Cock Sucker Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
Detecotor The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...
COCK SUCKER !!
Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
☻Pink Vagina
And after sex?
Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can
☻Red Riding suck your tits.
Hood No she said lifting her skirt.
sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money
☻Fuck for money but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe
your money
LOVE SMS
☻YOUR SMILE
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile.
☻ WHO YOU ARE

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am
with you.
☻ I'M STILL ALIVE...

TaLk 2 me wHen i'm boReD, kiSS me wHen i'm saD, hug me wHen i cRy,
caRe 4 me wHen i diE, loVe me When i'm sTill Alive...
☻ IN LOVE WITH YOU

It is not being in love that makes me happy... but is being in love with YOU
that makes me happy.
☻ TRULY LOVE
It’s hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less to find someone
who loves you as much. When the chance comes, don't ever let go.
☻ CHER|SH...
Cherish the person you love, never tell lies or attempt to hurt them
because you won't know how important they are until they are out of your
life...
☻POEM OR RHYME?
Who cares whether this is a poem or rhyme, I will love you until the end of
time...
☻ 2NITE WITH ME
A sMiLe tO pUt You On HiGh... A KisS To Set YoUr SouL ALriGhT... WouLd
iT bE aLriGhT iF I spEnT ToNiTe BeiNg LovED bY YoU???
☻LOVE YOU
Never WasTe an OppOrtuniTy 2 sAy 'I LoVe U' to Someone u ReaLLy Like,
Coz it is noT EvEryDaY u'll mEEt tHe PerSoN WhO hAs tHe MaGic 2 lEt u
fAll iN love...
☻ TRUE LOVE
True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.
☻ FRIENDS 4 LIFE
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is
hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!
☻: FIRST SIGHT
FiRsT NiTe, FiRsT SiGhT, I SaW, I KnEw, LoVe's SwEEtEr ThAn MoUnTaiN
DeW, A pRoMiSe I mAdE and' WiLL kEEp, 2 LoVe YOU aLwAys~
☻ VALUE OF LOVE
LovE is Not HoW LonG U've BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U've GIvEn oR
RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U've HeLpEd EaCh OthEr --- Its HoW U
VALUE EaCh OtHEr...
☻: STILL LOVING U
i håtê Smî|îÑg jûSt tO prEtêñD î'M ñOt hUrt. î hÅtE to gîGglê tO Show î'll ßê
okåY. î hAtE tO laUgh aFtEr î Cry. í Stìll lovE YOU ßût í'Vé tó SaY
gooDbYê...
☻ NEVER REGRET WHAT YOU DO
Don't regret what you've did, but regret what you never did, go and say 'I
LOVE U' to your loved one!
☻ LOVE IS SO CONFUSING
Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?
☻ REALITY
Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is Better
Than A Dream.
☻WHY IS HE NOT MINE...

wOrLd iS cRueL, LoVe iS bLinD. LoSt iN sAdnEsS, BluR In miND. HeArT iS
bRoKeN, fLaMe hAd DiEd. TiMe HaS pAsSeD bUt wHy iS hE... sTiLL nOt
mInE...
☻ NOT TOO YOUNG

No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind,
which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.
☻ I FOUND U
Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything
in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found
U.
☻ IT HURTS
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what hurts more is
to love someone, and never find the courage to let them know how you
feel.
☻ FORGET YOU
It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to
love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
☻ IT NEVER SEEMS TO LAST

I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in
love... it never seems to last.
☻ FALL IN LOVE
People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in
love all over again
☻ LOVE IS TO THINK
Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think
about yourself.
☻IN LOVE WITH YOU

There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to
find myself back in love with you.
☻: SOMEONE ELSE
The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love someone
else.
☻ OUT OF MY CONTROL
☻ HEART TO CIRCLE
Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart
because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.
☻: WHO
I'd rather be hated for who I am then be loved for who I'm not
☻ TRY TO FORGET
Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone
you never knew.
☻ ADVICE ON LIVING
Dance like no one's watching; sing like no one's listening; love like you
can't get hurt, and live like there's no tomorrow.
☻ QUICKSAND
LoVe iS LiKe QuiCkSanD - ThE DeEpEr yOu FaLL iN iT ThE HaRdeR iT iS
tO GeT OuT.
☻ IN MY ARMS
You showed me how it is to be loved. Now I know what really love is. 1 day
we will be together forever. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again.
☻ WHAT IS TRUE
There's a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when U R gone. Mend me 2 ur
side and never let go. The more I live The more I know, wat's simple is true,
I love you.
☻ FLAME OF YOURS
I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this
flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!
☻ If love were to be taxed,

I would be the highest tax payer.
☻you can't buy Love... but you can pay heavily.
☻Common sense is common, but... the use of common sense is

uncommon !!!!
☻Promises are like babies, easy to give hard to deliver.
☻You need Money to call someone Honey.
☻My girlfriend told me, I should be more Affectionate, so i got two

Girlfriends.
☻We can see more Grafitti's in girls toilet , WHY ?

Because their both hands are free.
☻Definitions :
Home : A place where you can scratch where it itches.
Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,

and kills by his bills.
LOVE : Loss Of Valuable Energy
WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever
ADULT JOKES
☻Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast
tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d
breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet!
☻Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I press u in my car. Up

above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let
me suck you, dont feel shy.
☻Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your

breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged
☻The sky is blue,grass is green,harder the fuck the

louder the scream,louder the scream the better the
fuck,give me a ring u might be in luck
☻Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she

lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2
stones with the help of a crane.
☻A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?

His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
☻Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do.

MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got
my nose in her armpit. Now what?
☻rooster&cat goin over bridge,cat slips&falls in

river.rooster cant stop laughin.wats D moral?whereva
therZ a wet pussy therZ a happy cock
☻LUV D WAY IT RUBS AGAINST D SOFT PINK FLESH N MAKES A

CREAMY FOAMY LIQUID AS IT THRUSTS IN&OUT,UP&DOWN,CAN`T
WAIT 4 NEXT TIME.LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
COOL JOKES
☻ MATCHES
MuM: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mum: Are they
working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire macthes... It's working.
☻KNOWING YOURSELF
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and
know someone else and expect them to know you.
☻ WHO YOU TRUST

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is
keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time
around.
☻GRATEFUL
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right
one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be
grateful.
☻ WASTING YOUR TIME

Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their
time on you.
☻THE WORLD
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the
world
☻FIRST SIGHT
FiRsT NiTe, FiRsT SiGhT, I SaW, I KnEw, LoVe's SwEEtEr ThAn MoUnTaiN
DeW, A pRoMiSe I mAdE and' WiLL kEEp, 2 LoVe YOU aLwAys~
☻ VALUE OF LOVE
LovE is Not HoW LonG U've BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U've GIvEn oR
RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U've HeLpEd EaCh OthEr --- Its HoW U
VALUE EaCh OtHEr...
☻ STILL LOVING U
i håtê Smî|îÑg jûSt tO prEtêñD î'M ñOt hUrt. î hÅtE to gîGglê tO Show î'll ßê
okåY. î hAtE tO laUgh aFtEr î Cry. í Stìll lovE YOU ßût í'Vé tó SaY
gooDbYê...
☻ NEWSPAPER
Some newspapers publish untrue news, but there is one thing that is true.
What is it? >>> Date <<<
☻ NEVER REGRET WHAT YOU DO

Don't regret what you've did, but regret what you never did, go and say 'I
LOVE U' to your loved one!
☻ YOUR FUTURE
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't get
on well in life until you let go of past failures and heartaches.
☻ UNTIL IT'S GONE

It's true that we don't know what we've got until it's gone, but it's also true
that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
☻ NEEDS
Every girl wants one guy to meet all her needs, while every guy wants all
the girls to meet his one need.
☻ HUGGING YOU
Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you... I wish that someday I'd
dream about my pillow and I'd be hugging you.
☻ CHARACTER VS REPUTAION
Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR ReputationN
BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoU ReputaioN Is WhaT
OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!!
☻ 1 HEARTBEAT
When I look at you, my heart skips 1 beat but later that beat could mean a
lifetime of tears wasted on some thing i knew i could never have!
☻ GIRLS ARE LIKE...

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the
wrong button you'll be disconnected!
☻ LOVE IS SO CONFUSING
Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?
☻ IT'S OVER
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend.
☻ IDIOT
It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth
and prove it.
☻ REALITY
Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is Better
Than A Dream.
☻ FORGET ME NOT
Under the sea, there lays a rock. In the rock, there is an envelope. In the
envelope, there is a paper. On the paper, there are 3 words... 'Forget me
not'
☻ LIVE YOUR LIFE

When u were born, u were crying and everyone round u was smiling.. Live
ur life so that when u die, u're the one who is smiling and everyone round
u is crying..
☻ MAKE THE BEST OF IT

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everyting... they
just make the most of everything that comes along their way...
☻ LIFETIME GUARANTEE
I got nothing else 2 offer, so 2 U, it's luv I going 2 send. It's nothing tat I
borrowed, it's nothing I’d lend. This luv I’m sending has a Lifetime
Guarantee!
☻ COMPUTER
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart,
'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my
memory!
☻ TEARS
Don't cry for someone who don't worth while; the one who is worth,
wouldn't make one cries..
☻ SEAT BELT
A Short thing, It gets Longer when U hold it, N pass between women
Breasts, N enters into A hole What is it? 1 min 2 think! Car Seat Belt, U
dirty mind.
☻ DESSERTS
When you are feeling stressed and about to breakdown, just remember:
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.. it's a piece of cake!
☻ MEMORIES
Memories is treasured, no one can steal. Parting is heartache, no one can
heal. Some'll forget you when you are gone, but I'll remember you no
matter how long.
☻ DON'T BE SAD
If someone comes into your life and becomes part of you, but for some
reason he/she could not stay, don't be too sad... be glad that your paths
have crossed.
☻ SHINING STAR
You're like a shining star in the cold dark nite, you lead me, you guide me,
you makes everything seems so rite...
☻ SHE..
She BlinDeD mE wiTh hEr LigHT, it'S SucH A beaUtiFuL SigHt... The WaY
She MoVes Is LiKe An AngEl... ShE gOt Me WaLkiNg On Air.
☻ I FELL FOR YOU

Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you
☻ RUNNING
aRe Ur LeGs TiReD? CoZ yoU'Ve BeEn RuNNiNg ThRoUgH My MiNd aLL
DaY LoNg!
☻ 911
Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because She can't find the eleven!!!
☻ FRIENDS ALWAYS
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is
DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME &
beyond DISTANCE!
☻ WHY IS HE NOT MINE...

wOrLd iS cRueL, LoVe iS bLinD. LoSt iN sAdnEsS, BluR In miND. HeArT iS
bRoKeN, fLaMe hAd DiEd. TiMe HaS pAsSeD bUt wHy iS hE... sTiLL nOt
mInE...
☻ DON'T WANT TO LOST YOU

If yöü cän bé ävöìdéd sìmply by clösìng r éyés, I wöüldn't blìnk ät äll for I
dönt wänt to lét ä sécönd päss hävìng löst ä höñey lìké YÖü!
☻ CAN'T LET U GO
Höld ä trüé frìénd wìth böth yöür händs, doñt lét gö 4 trüé frìend cömés
öncé ìn ä lìfétìmé. Thåt's why ì'm höldìng yoü tight! Cänt lét Ü go
☻ NOT TOO YOUNG

No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind,
which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.
☻ ANGEL FRIENDS
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels
but I call them my best friends.
☻ I FOUND U
Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything
in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found
U.
☻ NEVER END
If I had a single flower for every time I thought of you I could walk in my
garden forever, never finding the end.
☻ IT HURTS
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what hurts more is
to love someone, and never find the courage to let them know how you
feel.
☻ SMILE
You do not know the effect you have on me because every time I see you
my heart begins to smile.
☻ FORGET YOU
It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to
love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
☻ IT NEVER SEEMS TO LAST

I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in
love... it never seems to last.
☻ MY HEART BREAKS
I could fill a 1000 pages telling U how I feel, and still U would not
understand.. So now I leave w/o a sound, except my heart shattering as it
hits the ground.
☻ A MILLION
A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried.
Neither would a million tears. I know, because I've cried.
☻ SWEETEST THING
Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing
that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met
you.
☻ FALL IN LOVE
People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in
love all over again.
☻ CRYING FOR
I cry 4 the times U were almost mine. I cry 4 the memories I've left behind. I
cry 4 the pain, the lost, the old, the new. I cry 4 the times I thought I had U.
☻ CRAZY FOR YOU

I'm crazy for you. Touch me once and you'll know it's true, I never wanted
anyone like this, it's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss, I'm crazy for
you.
☻ NOT TO FADE
Looking back on all these years, all the smiles and all the tears, I never
want these memories to fade.
☻ YOU ARE THE ONE

You asked me who I liked and I said no one... but what I really meant was
no one but you.
☻ SLEEP FOREVER
If the only possible way we can be together is in my dreams, then I'll sleep
forever.
☻ LOVE IS TO THINK
Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think
about yourself.
☻ IN LOVE WITH YOU

There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to
find myself back in love with you.
☻ SOMEONE ELSE
The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love someone
else.
☻ MASTERPIECE
God created men first, coz you always make a rough draft before a
masterpiece.
☻ OUT OF MY CONTROL
☻ MEMORY LASTS FOREVER

A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together
and never say good bye.
☻ HEART TO CIRCLE
Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart
GENERAL JOKES
☻Abracadabra
Nope, ur still ugly!
☻Ths msg cn only B read by a SEXY person:

Nothing? Sorry, I guess UR just not SEXY… Hey! Dnt force it ugly, get lost!
☻2 cows in a field. 1 cow says 'Hv U hrd about ths mad cow disease?'
T oTr thinks & replies 'Yep but it doesn't affect us rabbits.'
☻T Japanese hv banned all animal movements after discovering droppings in T

Bdding in 2kyo.
Ty Blieve it could B a case of Fu2n Mouse.
☻Hw do U occupy an idiot?

Press down - Press up!
☻2 men R fishing. A funeral march goes by. T 1st man places his h@ on his
chest. 2nd man says ''Th@'s nice.
1st man says 'It's T least I cn do. We wr married for 25 years.'
☻Y did T farmer win a noBl prize?

Bcoz he was out st&ing in his field!
☻Y did T jelly baby go 2 school?

Bcoz it wanted 2 B a smarty.
☻Wht do U cll a dog with no legs?

It doesn't m@ter wot U cll him, he ain't gonna cum.
☻For sale complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 74 volumes. Good condition.

£1,000 ONO.
No longer needed, got married, T wife knows eVthing!
☻I went 2 by sum camouflage trousers T oTr day

But I cdnt find NE.
☻Y did T cnnibal rush over 2 T cafeteria?

He hrd children wr half price.
☻Y dnt lobsters shR?

Bcoz Ty're shellfish.
☻I'm an alien I've transformed in2 Ur ph1 & as U're reading ths I'm having sex
with Ur finger.
I know U like it Bcoz I cn C U smiling!
☻T jogger who overslept found himself running...

l@e.
☻A girl ph1d me T oTr day & said 'Come no over, Tre's nobody home'.
I went over. Nobody was home.
☻Woman asks a barman 'Cn I hv a double entendre please?'

so T barman gave her 1.
☻2 aerials meet on a roof - fell in love & got married.

T ceremony was terrible, but T reception was brilliant!
☻I had a ploughman's lunch T oTr day.

He wasn't V happy.
☻Y dnt c@s shv?

Coz 80% prefer Whiskers!
☻Wht do U cll a vicar on a mo2r bike?

Rev.
☻Did U hear about T Dutch man with T infl@able shoes?

He popped his clogs!
☻Chelsea signed 2 players from Icel&.

Ranieri said 'If Ty R no good he wll try Sainsburys.
☻Hw do U communic@e with a fish?

Drop it a line.
☻Wht do elephants hv for dinner?

An hour, just like T rest of T animals.
☻Hw does Bob Marley like his s&wiches?

Wi jammin.
☻Wht do U cll a triple barrel shotgun?

A trifle.
☻Wht do U cll a h&cuffed man?

Trus2rthy.
☻Wht do Mexicns hv under Tir carpets?

Underlay! Underlay!
☻Wht's T maximum penalty of bigamy?

2 moTrs-in-law.
☻Wht do U get if U cross a skunk with a boomerang?

A bad smell U cnt get rid of.
☻Wht's T fastest cake in T world?

Sc1.
☻Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense?
I'll tel U l8r.
☻Y R dumb blonde jokes all 1-liners?

So men cn underst& Tm.
☻Wot do U do if a blonde throws a grenade @ U?

Take T pin out & throw it back.
☻Hv U hrd about T magic trac2r?

It went down a country road & turned in2 a field.
☻I want 2 die peacefully in my sleep like my gr&f@her…

not screaming in terror like his passengers!
☻Spell hungry horse in 4 letters.

M T G G.
☻I used 2 like trac2rs...

...but now I'm an extrac2r fan.
☻My wife dresses 2 kill

T only problem is th@ she cooks in T same manner.
☻Wht did 1 magnet say 2 T oTr magnet?

I find U V @tractive.
☻Hw do U kp an idiot amused?

W@ch ths message until it goes away!
☻Tre wr 2 cows in a field - Daisy & MaBl.

D: 'I've bn artificially insemin@ed.'
M: 'I dnt Blieve U!'
D: 'Straight up, no bull!'
☻Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But don't worry...
I'm sure science Will come up With something To help you.
☻How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect
her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer
☻There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage,
mink in her closet, tiger in her bed!
And of course adonkey to pay her bills!!
☻The average woman would rather have beauty than brains,

because the average man can see better than he can think
☻Brain Search: Brain detector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still

searching......get a good grip of your gsm....
still searching.......no brains found
☻Why did they call it PMS?

Mad cow disease was already taken!
☻Mary had a little lamb

The doctor fainted!!!
☻When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment

when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its £3.95 per minute!
☻Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends,

charming, funny
well...Enough about ME! How about you?
☻I Want triplets you want twins....

Lets get in bed and see who wins
☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...

Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain
☻Yesterday night I lay on my bed looking at the stars, then I wondered...

Hey, where on earth IS MY ROOF!
☻I wanted to send you something that would make you smile...

But the postman told me to get out of the mailbox
☻Drive carefully:
90% of people in this world are caused by accidents...
☻God made man and then rested,

God made women and then no one rested
☻Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

It's like when dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
☻blonde is on 1 side of a lake and yells 2 another blonde across the lake, 'How
do I get 2 the other side?'
The other blonde yells back, 'U R on the other side!'
☻How do you keep a blonde busy all day?

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner
☻What do u call a blonde hiding in a closet?

The 1987 world hide and seek champion
☻What do 7'tall basketball players do in their off season?

Go to the movies and sit in front of you
☻Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went it would be hell
☻Why can't men get Mad Cow's Disease?

Because they are pigs
☻How many letters are in the Alphabet?

Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
☻What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

☻How do you keep an idiot in suspense............??

Tell you later........
☻Why don't blondes talk whilst having sex?
Because their mums told them not to talk to strangers!
☻Never let a man's mind wander,

It's too little to be out on it's own!!!!
☻What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan!
☻Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?

No you can have turkey like everyone else !
☻Who is never hungry at Christmas?

The turkey - he's always stuffed !
☻We had grandma for Christmas dinner?

Really, we had turkey!
☻This turkey tastes like an old settee.

Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing.
☻What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards?

ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L !!)
☻Why did the blond woman sneak past the pharmacy?

She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!
☻The average woman would rather have beauty than brains...

Because the average man can see better than he can think
☻What's the difference between Bigfoot and intelligent men?

Big foot has been spotted a few times
☻What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the
bar?
Ok you 2, don't start anything.
☻Two blondes were driving to Disney Land when they saw a sign that read,
"Disney Land left"
So they turned round and went home.
☻Drink until she's cute

But stop before the wedding!
☻Guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken.

The waiter replies 'nothing special - we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die'.
☻He said: "I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it."
She said: "You wear underpants, don't you?"
☻What's the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need; a man wants every woman to
satisfy his one need.
CRUDE JOKES
☻Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r
tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im
vacinated!
☻How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET

went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
☻last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon
and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof??
☻mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field
right nowcos its got foot and mouth
☻What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

☻This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too
dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start
jumping on it . Thank you
☻what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens
right leg? don't know they never met!
☻Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H
☻This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it

i
il
i lo
i lov
i love
i love y
i love yo
☻Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day
they got foot and mouth and now they're black andcrispy.
☻Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply
shut the fuck up your get us all shot.
☻Your teeth are so yellow, ican't believe it's not butter!!!
☻Your birthcertificate is an apology letter from thecondom factory.
☻Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
☻Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark ascharcoal.So most

the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!
☻mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the
mantlepiece to see if they would fuck!
☻whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and

a large tampon?....they r all stuck upcunts!
☻sex is like maths: Add the bed, subtractclothes, divide the legs...
and MULTIPLY!
☻how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell

you later !!!
☻At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights
91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS
☻farmer Joneshas got no sheep,

isn't life a drag?
☻*Newsflash*
The FA have just announced gary gliter the next Englandcoach.
The appontmentcollapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under
15's
☻ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official

shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4
kebabs & shepherds pie
☻!!News flash!!
Indian earthquake kills 50 000!
USA sending food.
Australia sendingclothes.
britain sending ... ... ... Replacements
MARRIAGE JOKES
☻Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).
☻Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and

Suffering.
☻A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives

and the wife takes.
☻A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a
millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
☻There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her
covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next
wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."
☻Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with

friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other
fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
☻Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
☻Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half
the time!
☻Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?

Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
☻The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with
the dishes...
☻The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what was
wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afraid she
would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only
needed to remember 3 things.
First the aisle, cos that is what you'll be walking down.
Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive.
Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing
during the service.
While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family
and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3
words
...Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him)
☻Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually
head right for your hips.
☻A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"
"No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."
☻There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for
her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!
☻I've got a good friend who married a Doctor.

One day he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our
love-making".
Soon thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another
man who is also an M.D.
"Why?" asked her husband. "You said I needed to do something to
spice up our love-making;
I just wanted to get a Second Opinion", she replied...
☻Q: Why do brides wear white?

A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.
☻One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife

wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
☻What makes men chase women they have no intention of

marrying? -
Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving
☻Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's

Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
☻After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I

was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
☻
it."I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho
Marx
☻I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. -

Noel Coward
☻Behind every great man there is a surprised woman. - Maryon

Pearson
☻The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the

union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - S. T. Coleridge
☻A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. -

Zsa Zsa Gabor
☻A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf

husband. - Michel de Montaigne
☻Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a

relative. - Unknown
☻Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
☻Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of

happy, fat women. - Marion Smith
☻There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage. - James Holt McGavran
☻The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took
him - Oscar Wilde
☻An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The

older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie
☻Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it
anyway. - Joey Adams
☻A husband's last words should always be 'OK buy it'.
☻They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and

lightning. - Clint Eastwood
☻There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I

learn what it is I'll get married again. - Clint Eastwood
☻The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake -

Unknown.
☻A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. - Marvin

Kitman
☻Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an

institution? - Groucho Marx
☻After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they
just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi
☻A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. - Ralph
Waldo Emerson
☻The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henry

Youngman
☻Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. - Mae West
☻The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about
nothing, and then marry him - Cher
☻I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by
then it was too late. - Max Kauffmann
☻I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the
same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning,
a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at
night. - Marie Corelli
☻I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome,

ruthless and stupid. - Dorothy Parker
☻When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
☻Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut

afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin
☻Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife
to his success. - Jim Backus
☻By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
☻A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted -

Helen Rowland
☻Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go

live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
☻All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. -

Lord Byron
☻Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to
go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft
music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henry
Youngman
☻Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chesterton
☻My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and
then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
☻I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -

Rodney Dangerfield
☻I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man. - Jean Harlow

☻Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa
Hoffman
☻To the bride and groom - may we all be invited to your golden
wedding celebrations...
☻To the NewlyWeds: May 'for better or worse' be far better than
worse.
☻To the 2 secrets of a long lasting and happy marriage

...Here's to good sense of humor and a short memory!
☻Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a
discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words
in: "Yes dear"
☻You know, the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that
you never get to actually prove it.
☻May the best of your past be the worst of your future
☻Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be

between the sheets!
☻May the joys you share today, be the beginning of a lifetime of

great happiness and fulfilment
☻To our wives and lovers...may they never meet!
☻Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I

express an appreciation of your determination to end the
desperation and frustration which has caused you so much
consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to
bring an accumulation to the population.
☻May you grow old on one pillow.
☻Dear [bride's name],
☻Isn't it quite funny how History repeats itself?

[Bride's Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to
bed with a dummy...and now it's happening all over again
☻I've known many,

Liked not a few,
Loved only one,
I toast to you
☻Here's to the bride - may she share everything with her

husband...and that includes the housework.
☻To the Bride and Groom - may the roof above you never fall in and
may you both never fall out
☻To the Bride and Groom - live life to the fullest and remember, this
is the first day of the rest of your life...
☻To my wife...my bride...my joy
☻May your joys be as deep as the Ocean, and your troubles as light
as its foam.
☻May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember

what is best forgotten.
☻A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here's to you, my beautiful bride.
☻May our children be blessed with rich parents
☻Here's to my bride: she knows everything about me, yet loves me

just the same.
SILLY QUOTES
☻Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature
☻All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!
☻if barbie is so popular....then y do u have 2 buy her friends?
☻I intend to live forever- so far so good
☻Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I
say "are you gonna drink that?"
☻Iv got 2 sit down & work out where i stand!!!
☻Wen u smile the world smiles with u.wen ur down people will rally
behind u.but wen u fart u r alone coz people will never stand by u!
☻people ask me if id pefer 2 go 2 hell or heaven i say hell coz its
nice and warm down there
☻Im a nobody.. nobodys perfect.. therefore IM PERFECT!!!
☻I didnt kiss ur boyfriend! I told his lips a secret!!
☻I would stop eating chocolate.. but I'm not a quitter!
ONE LINER
☻Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious,
friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?
☻How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!
☻***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 100
tampons for £1
... No Strings attached
...but for a limited period ONLY!
...A bloody good deal!
☻Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H
☻FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete,
now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends
found.
☻Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r.
☻Press down..More...Ok more...WOW yes ahh ohh yes....almost
there....oh god harder..faster..FEELS GOOD...oh goddd!...That's how I
sex on text!
☻Ths msg cn only b read by a SEXY person -
Nothing? Soz, I guess UR just not SEXY But hey, i Didnt force it ugly,
so get lost!
☻I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an
Erikson, sucked me til my face went Orange, til I busted my Siemen
all over her Nokias!
☻Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you
press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
☻HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good
lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
☻This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too
dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start
jumping on it. Thank you
☻Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
☻A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone
☻Why'd they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!
☻I went to ur house justnow - can't enter cos door says *CUTE
FOLK NOT ALLOWED* - pls take sign down next time ok!
☻Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
☻Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
☻I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were
negative.
☻How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO
and the FBI went after him.
☻Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too...
☻U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da
Body....shit...I got wrong number...SORRY :)
☻I need a kiss, I need touched, I need your love, I need warmth, I
need hugs, I need sex, I need YOU!
☻On the cellphone pad of life, always keep one finger on the
disconnect key.
☻The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second
half by our children.
☻Nope.....u still ugly!
☻Y did the jelly baby go 2 school? Cuz he wanted to be a smarty.
☻What u call dog with no legs? Don't matter wot u call him, he ain't
gonna come.
☻Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE
NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father:
'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'
☻Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But hey, no
worries - I sure science will come up with somin to help u.
☻I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your
back...! Nice Ass.
☻How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love
her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer.
☻How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it goes
away!
☻It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your
mouth and prove it.
☻Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!
☻You are here: X
☻Hickory Dickory Dock, dis bitch woz suckin me c**k, da clock
struck 2, i dumped me goo, & dropped her at da end of da block.
☻In Ikea they have a Shelf storage system called Nob - So that's the
only shop you can go into and ask the assistant to wheel your Nob to
the car cuz it's too heavy.
☻Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!
☻Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
☻Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?
A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.
☻What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked
into the bar? Ok u 2, don't start anything.
☻Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
☻Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get
operator sayin 'Sorry, The Subscriber U R Calling is having Sex,
Please try again later.'
☻Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick"
Boss asks: "How sick are u?"
Bloke: "I'm F****ing my Sis, how sick is that???"
☻Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and lets play that
game!
☻Roses are red, Pickles are green, I like ur legs and all that's
between!
☻I like your style, you got sheer class, but babe, my god, I WANT
YOUR ASS!
☻Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex, phone-sex, speedy-
sex, crazy-sex and for people wid ur face - NO SEX!
☻When an apple is green, it's ready to pluck, When a girl is sixteen
she's ready to ..WOOPS...wrong number....
☻U good at math? Well, add a bed, subtract ur cloths, divide ur legs
and we can multiply!
☻Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.
☻Important Message: Conserve your toilet paper - use both sides.
☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for
the night?
☻I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.
☻The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
☻There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through
suitable application of high explosives.
☻Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is
stupid.
☻You may be recognized soon. Hide.
☻Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
☻He who laughs last thinks slowest.
☻Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual
arousal in women.
☻I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
☻Is somebody not editing what I'm saying here???
☻Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the
subject.
☻If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
☻You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid
enough to worry.
☻My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch
☻If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit
next to me
☻Mind intentionally left blank...
☻I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem
☻Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
☻Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
☻If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
☻Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I
think I've forgotten this before.
☻If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
☻The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
☻It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With
ahunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times.
☻Born Free........Taxed to Death.
☻We will now upgrade your brain, please
wait...searching...searching...still searching...sorry NO BRAIN found
☻I remind u that the most powerful force in the universe is sms
gossip.
☻Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and
mental illness.
☻My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's
reading.
☻Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wait, hold
on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now...
☻Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the
key.
☻What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men
everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
☻Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
☻Celibacy is not hereditary
☻Familiarity breeds children
☻Life is sexually transmitted
☻We do precision guesswork
☻Born free . . . Taxed to death

☻If it's too loud, you're too old
☻Common sense isn't common
☻Nothing succeeds like excess
☻Do pilots take crash-courses?
☻If it ain't broke, fix it until it is
☻The older I get, the older old is
☻Relax, its only Ones and Zeros
☻A closed mouth gathers no feet
☻Do witches run spell checkers?
☻I don't get even . . . . . I get odder
☻Allow me to introduce my selves
☻A feature is a bug with seniority
☻If I throw a stick, will you leave?
☻Justice: A decision in your favor
☻Strip mining prevents forest fires
☻A waist is a terrible thing to mind
☻Do not disturb. Already disturbed
☻Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
☻Today's subliminal message is . . .
☻Demons are a Ghouls best Friend

☻Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

☻Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
☻First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the
suffering.
☻Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
☻Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.
☻
☻Bad
Am Isex is better
dead, Angel?then a good
Cause this day
mustinbe
school.
heaven!
☻Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
☻Fuck Me...are those real?
☻Be unique and different, just say yes.
☻Can I flirt with you?
☻Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
☻Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really
kickin.
☻Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm
going to have to ask you to assume the position.
☻Umh, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
☻Darling, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to
your house.
☻I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!
☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbour ... what say we tie up for
the night?
☻I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
☻If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just
practice?
☻Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
☻That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
☻Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
☻A hangover is the wrath of grapes
☻Everyone is entitled to my opinion
☻If it ain't chocolate, it ain't dessert
☻I don't work here. I'm a consultant
☻Out of Body. Back in Five Minutes
☻The best things in life aren't things
☻I like feminists; I think they're cute
☻I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable
☻Does killing time damage eternity?
☻How can there be self-help groups?
☻"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy
☻BIGAMIST --- A heavy fog in Italy
☻Have a nice day. . . somewhere else
☻Guilt -- the gift that keeps on giving
☻Exceptions always outnumber rules
☻Adults are just kids who owe money
☻All stressed out and no one to choke
☻Constipated people don't give a crap

☻I may not be perfect, but I'm all I got
☻Where there's a will, I want to be in it
☻Anything not nailed down is a cat toy
☻Never miss a good chance to shut up
☻All computers wait at the same speed
☻Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
☻How do you get off a non-stop flight?
☻How come night falls but day breaks?
☻How do I set the laser printer to stun?
☻If we quit voting will they all go away?
☻Is it time for your medication or mine?
☻INSTANT HUMAN (Just Add Coffee)
☻I'm not getting older...I'm getting bitter
☻When all else fails manipulate the data
☻I'm as confused as a termite in a yo-yo
☻Insanity is my only means of relaxation
☻No guts, no glory, no brain, same story
☻Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw
☻I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert
☻I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier
☻When money talks, the criminal walks

Q & A JOKES
☻Q. WHY DID SANTA SING TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES WHILE
WRITING EXAMS?
A. COZ IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE PAPER"ANSWER IN BRIEF.
☻Q. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF LAZINESS?
A. A COUPLE ADOPTING A CHILD.
☻Q. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF POSSESSIVENESS?
a. constiPATION.
☻Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHERE HER

HUSBAND IS EVERY NIGHT?
A. WIDOW
☻Q. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF

PAMEELA ANDERSON?
A. COZ PEOPLE STARTED LICKING THE WRONG SIDE OF IT FOR

PASTING THEM ON THE ENVELOPES.
☻Q. WHAT DOES 98 STAND FOR IN WINDOWS 98?
A. IT STANDS FOR NUMBER OF TIMES IT HANGS IN A DAY.
☻Q. WHY DID BANTA SINGH TAKE HIS PREGNANT WIFE TO PIZZA
CORNER?
A. FOR FREE DELIVERY.
☻Q. HOW WOULD YOU IDENTIFY BANTA SINGH IN A SUBMARINE?
A. HE WILL BE THE ONLY ONE WITH A PARACHUTE TIED TO HIS

BACK.
☻q. what would you call a sardar with just one hair on his head?
a. iqbal singh.
☻Q. HOW TO MAKE TTK LAUGH ON SUNDAY?
A. BY TELLING HER A JOKE ON THURSDAY.
ONCE A NUN GOES FOR A URINE EXAMINATION AND THE

SAMPLES GET MIXED UP. the report indicates she is pregnant.
WHEN SHE GETS THE REPORT, SHE EXCLAIMS, "OH JESUS!! NOW
WE CAN NOT EVEN RELY ON CANDLES"
☻Q. WHAT DID BANTA SINGH SAY WHEN HE SAW A BANANA

PEEL?
A. "OH! I AM GOING TO SLIP AGAIN.
☻Q. WHICH IS THE SHORTEST JOKE?
A. SANTA SINGH AND BANTA SINGH PLAYING CHESS.
☻Q. WHICH BROTHER OF KALIDAS MAKES SHOES?
A. ADIDAS
☻Wot's the best thing about babies ?
MAKING THEM !
☻If i guard you with my life,

Will u be my wife ?
☻Girls are like roads,

More the curves,
More the dangerous they are.
☻Love is Photogenic,
it needs darkness to develop.
☻Messages are given to

Those who are apart
But what shall i give
When you are in my heart.
SMS GREETINGS
☻BLINKING STARS
FreNz r 4-evER liKE E starS taT kePt blinkin In E sky. THoUgh we MighT b
Far Apart.. BUt I noE taT u r Still Near 2 Me WhnEveR I look up... Gd nite N
sleep TiTE
☻ TIME TO SLEEP
LyinG oN mY BeD, LoOkiN @ ThE CloCk, I nOe tAt iTs timE 2 zzz. I
WonDeR HoW hAv U bEEn todaY... HopE Tat EveryTHinG is FInE.. WiSh u
sweeT dReaMz n Sleep TiGhT!
☻ MORNING GREETING
Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Gd Morning, it has asilent
message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!
☻ MORNING GIFT
Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity, tied
with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long!
Take Care!
☻ GOOD MORNING
A night hug warms the heart, a night kiss brightens the day, and a good
morning to start your day!
☻ NITE HAS END...

Nite has end for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you
smile like the sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay.
☻ THINGS TO NOTE B4 SLEEPING

ThinGs 2 TaKe NoTe WheN u SleeP: 1st-MiSS Me, 2nd-ThInk oF Me, 3rd-
HuG Me, 4th-LoVE mE. TrY 2 SlEEp NoW & ClOSe Ur EyeS. Get PrePaReD
2 DrEaM oF mE! Gd NiTe!
☻ HELLO
The Word 'Hello' means H=How R U? E=Everything all right? L=Like 2 hear
4rm U. L=Love 2 C U soon. O=Obviously, I miss you!
☻: I PRAY 4 YOU
In tis lovely nite, I pray 2 the blue moon 2 protect U thru the nite, the wind 2
blow away ur stress N the twinkle stars 2 guide U the way, sweet dreams
Gd Nite
☻ GOOD MORNING
The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good
morning, hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & miss you.
☻ NO MATTER
No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there's stars or moon, as long
as ur heart is true, sweet dreams will always be wif u. Gd Nite!
☻ TIME 4 BED
da starz r out, da moon is up, 1 more HUG, 1 more smile, KISS u once,
KISS u twice, now itz time 4 bed. Close ur @@, n sleep tite!
☻ I CARE MOST
I was looking out the windows thinking about the person I care most & the
person that came into my mind is U so juz wanna wish u good nite.......
☻ STARS LIGHT
Stars light Stars bright u're the only Star I see tonite. I wish I may. I wish I
might be there guarding ur dreams tonite, gd nite sweet dreams
☻ NICE FRIENDS
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my
everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet
dreams...
☻ WASH UP
Wash your face and wash your feet! Now itz time 2 fall asleep. Yours eyes
are weak N mouth can't speak so hope tis nite shall b nice and sweet.
Good Nite.
☻ COLD COLD NITE

On this cold cold nite,in My small small rOOm,i Look At The Brite Brite
StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of uR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur
CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe!
☻ WINDOWS OF SOUL
Tireness draws across the mind making the body fade flexibility n soon
windows of soul begin 2 close N enter the dreamland! OYASUMINASAI!
Sweet Dreams!
☻SOUL BACK FROM DREAMLAND

Your soul came back from dreamland reunited with a sleeping senseless
piece of yourself slowly open ur eyes realise its a brand new day. Good
Morning.
☻ DRACULA KISS
As u go 2 bed 2nite, I ordered bats 2 guard u tight. I told some ghosts to
dance in white, & 2 make sure u r alryt, i'LL ask dracula 2 kiss ur neck
goodnight..
☻ LAZY BONE WAKE UP!

The sun has once brought brightness to earth! lazy bone. it's time 2 wake
up gd morning...
☻ AS NITE FALLS
As nite falls upon the land, it is time 2 Zz again. With the moon hangin in
the starlit sky, i'm here 2 wish U NiteNite! Sweet dreams, cover blanket
tight tight
☻ THE SUN HAD RISED

The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R
around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd
morning to u..
☻ SOMEWHERE OUT THERE

somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone thinkin of u
somewhere out there where dreams come true... nitenite & sweet dreams 2
u
☻ MASTER OF PUPPETS
Master of puppets is pulling ur strings, twisting ur mind n smashing
ur dreams. blinded by me, u can't c a thing when i count to 3 u shall
fall asleep 1,2,3,Zzz
Friendship & Anti-Friendship

Messages
☻A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches
your heart.
☻I MaY Not Be a cLocK ThaT maY TexT yOu 24hrs a DaY But My
HeArt Will bE LikE a CloCk ThAt will nOt sToP CarIng & SayInG U r
aLwaYs RemeMbEreD. TakE CaRe.
☻The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but
really beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our hearts.... Friends
forever~!!!
☻KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot

To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I
swear I'm keeping U..
☻We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE,

still friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER,
that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE!
☻If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the
garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a
friend 4ever!!
☻When i'm walking in front of u,I'm protecting u. When i'm beside u

i'm there for u, when i'm behind u, I'm watching over u. When i'm
alone,I'm thinking of u.
☻A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your
friend.
☻So many of us either fear tmr or regret yesterday. But I won't fear
tmr, if I get 2 b ur fren 4ever, and I don't regret yesterday, coz 1
yesterday, I met u.
☻There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true,
dats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in u!
☻Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship
never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u
deep within my heart!
☻A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter

your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure the
friendship between us.
☻Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say...
Best friends listen to what you don't say...
☻Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know
they are always there for you...
☻Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends
will leave footprints in your heart.
☻As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we

have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each
day is never a waste.
☻Good frenz are like quilts... it never loses its warmth...
☻GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags,

☻ If you need
Because..... advice,
if He did, Itext me...
can't if you
afford need a friend,
a precious FRIEND call meYOU!!!
like ... if you
need me, come to me... if you need money........ SUBSCRIBER
CANNOT BE REACHED!
☻A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway
☻Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with
enough cash you can buy them back.
☻Without humor, life sucks. Without Love, Life seems hopeless. But
without a friend like you, life is nearly impossible.
☻Memories last forever, they simply never die, true friends stay
together - they NEVER say good-bye.
☻Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so my friend stay
wasted all the time, and have the time of your life!
☻A faithful friend is worth more than all the gold in the world.
☻Love is only chatter, it's your friends that really matter.
☻I've nothing to offer so it's love I'm going to send. It's nothing that
I've borrowed, nor nothing that I'd lend. This love that I send comes
with my Lifetime Guarantee.
☻It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into
friendship.
☻Friendships multiply joys and divide griefs.
☻Our kind of friendship is like love without wings!
☻Friendship is a sheltering tree.
☻I believe in Angels, the ones that Heaven sends. Each day I tell
those Angels, you are my best of friends.
☻Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart
☻A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
☻True friends warm the heart, make you laugh, smile...yes, you are
a true friend.
☻A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway
☻Your the kind of friend that only heaven could have sent.
☻I need you too know our friendship means a lot - If you cry then I
cry, if you laugh..if you jump out the window I look down then....I
laugh again :-)
☻Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their
best light.
☻Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
☻The world is round so that friendship may encircle it.
☻Working is a delight, leave enough work for your colleagues.
☻My husband and I cannot decide... a dog or a child..do we ruin our
carpet or our life?
☻Remember that you are unique... just like everybody else!
☻I never forget a face, but for you I will make an exception.
☻Nostalgia is not what it used to be.
☻Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties!
☻A good movy can make you cry... so can onions.
☻Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a
bank or a post office!
☻Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is
open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories … of many
good things.
☻You cannot buy friendship, you can earn it. If someone comes for
help, be a true friend !
☻A friend is always welcome ... Early in the morning or late at night.
Time is of no importance ... When it concerns real friendship!!
☻Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be te most beautiful one
on earth. Friendship is something powerful, a gift of great value!
☻No gold or precious stones ... give us happiness and peace,
friendship and its warmth ... will bring it to us
☻There is a big difference between friendship and a rose... Roses
last only a while ... but friendship is for ever
☻I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he
gave me a forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an ocean. Asked 4 a
friend, he gave me you
☻Friends are like stars... you don't see them all the time, but you
know they're there!
☻Life is not easy and it will never be, but you've got friends and one
of them is me ...
☻I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice
as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to
remain my friend !!!
☻When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be
uprooted by a storm....
☻My "aim" in life is: die young when I am very old.
☻When you are lazy, you cannot help it. When you are tired, that is
your own fault.
☻who digs a hole for some else is surely no selfish person !
☻I am on holiday ... when I think of holidays I think of the beach,
when I think of the beach I think of the sea, when I think of the sea, I
think of jellyfish...
when I think of jellyfish, I think of YOU!!!!!!!!
☻A friend is someone who knows when you need her...
☻A ring is round and has no end, so is my love for you ma friend.
☻If my head looks like yours, I'd shave my rear end and walked on
my hands.
☻Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images.
☻All nice things in life are illegal, immoral, or make you grow fat.
☻When it is raining setbacks, use your smile as an umbrella!
☻A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who
can sing it for you when you have forgotten it
☻Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things
that others tell after you die
☻You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life
together, but you are only real friends when you also cried together.
☻Before you want to start making a work of art, first make a draft,
that is what also God did by creating first the man and then the
woman
☻Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over
you.
☻Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.
☻A little clown is living in my heart. Small and very special. It can
dance and jump, laugh and sing. Are you in pain and you need to
cry, come and borrow it!
☻My girlfriend ran off with my best friend after a relationship of four
years....Oh how I miss my friend.
☻I would not call myself important, but I am convinced that when I
was not born, everyone would like to know why.
☻A new meeting next month ? Sorry, that is not possible, I have to
go to a funeral.
☻Happiness is a disaster. You get lazy. When you do not pay
attention, you might start loving life.
☻The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might
make other people happy.
☻He was very lonely. The only type he knew was his blood type.
☻I visited the tax office. I wanted to know the people I work for.
☻I was a beautiful baby. But they switched my in the hospital.
☻Not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship makes marriages
unhappy.
☻Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven
know I need u. years may fly, tears may dry, but my friendship with u
will never die.
☻One day u will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your
life? I will say: my life… You will walk away from me without knowing
that U R MY LIFE!!!
☻Feel good when somebody Miss u. Feel better when somebody
Loves u. But feel best when somebody never forgets u.
☻A friend is sweet when its new….but it is sweeter when its TRUE!
But u know what? Its sweetest when its you.
☻A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when you
have nowhere to go, a friend is honest, a friend is true. A friend is
precious a friend is u.
☻If kisses were water, I will give u sea. If hugs were leaves, I will
give u a tree.If u luv a planet, I will give u a galaxy, if friendship is life
I will give u mine.
☻People live People die People Laugh People Cry Some give up
Some will try Some say hi Some say bye Others may forget YOU but
never will I.
☻If I were to be anything in this world…. I’d be ur tears!!!… So, I can
be conceived in ur heart, born in ur eyes, live on ur cheeks & die on
ur lips!!!!!
☻If u r a chocolate ur the sweetest, if u r a Teddy Bear u r the most
huggable, If u are a Star u r the Brightest, and since u r my “FRIEND”
u r the “BEST”!!!!!!!!!
☻A special friend is rare indeed, it beems to be special breed, yes,
perfect friends r very few, so lucky I m for having you.
☻They say it takes a minute 2 fine a special person, an hour 2
appreciate them, a day 2 love them, but then an entire life 2 forget
them.
☻When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What
is your wish for today? “I said : please take special care of the
person reading this!!!!!!!”
☻Time might lead me to nowhere and faith might break into pieces
but I will always be THANKFUL that once in my life’s journey we
became FRIENDS!
☻It takes half our life to find true friends & half of it keeping them.I
am lucky to have spent less than half my life finding you & wish to
spend the rest keeping you.
☻In my life I learned how… 2 love 2 smile 2 be happy 2 be strong 2
work hard 2 be honest 2 be faithful 2 forgive but I couldn’t learn
how.. 2 stop rembering u.
☻A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay
together and never say good bye.
☻Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart
☻U got style, u got sex-appeal, u got the intelligence and u sure got
the body. Wait. Sorry, wrong number!
☻Of all the gifts, big and small, your friendship is the greatest of
them all.
☻A ring is round and has no end, that's how long I'll be your
friend!!!
☻The morning is just a few moments away. Go to sleep and when

you wake up, remember me as a friend who is always there for you
and never let you down
☻Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before
the final copy.
☻The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident.
Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologize
for any inconvenience.
☻If you are in trouble, If you need a hand, Just call my number,
because I'm your friend!
☻Whenever I see your smiling face, I have to smile myself, because I
like you, you're my friend!!!
open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories.... of many
good things.

☻Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be the most beautiful one




know they're there!
of them is me ...
☻When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be

uprooted by a storm....
☻My "aim" in life is: die young when I am very old.
☻When you are lazy, you cannot help it. When you are tired, that is
your own fault.
☻A friend is someone who knows when you need her...
☻A ring is round and has no end, so is my love for you my friend.
☻If my head looks like yours, I'd shave my rear end and walked on
my hands.
☻Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images.
☻A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who
can sing it for you when you have forgotten it
☻Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things
that others tell after you die
☻You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life
together, but you are only real friends when you also cried together.
☻Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over
you.
☻A little clown is living in my heart. Small and very special. It can

dance and jump, laugh and sing. Are you in pain and you need to
cry, come and borrow it!
☻I would not call myself important, but I am convinced that when I

was not born, everyone would like to know why.
☻The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might
make other people happy.
☻Not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship makes marriages
unhappy.
your heart.
forever~!!!
☻KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot

To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I
swear I'm keeping U..

friend 4ever!!
☻When i'm walking in front of u,I'm protecting u. When i'm beside u

i'm there for u, when i'm behind u, I'm watching over u. When i'm
alone,I'm thinking of u.
friend.


☻Good frenz are like quilts... it never loses its warmth...
☻GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags,

Because..... if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!
☻thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It

cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe,
thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe...
☻True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False
friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.
☻FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U

liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not
how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!
☻FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd,

BuT To Have An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN
GoLd~!
☻If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you
need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE
SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
☻FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it

could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...
☻In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one

thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS,
beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!
☻I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by

angels but I call them my best friends.
☻Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling
in love with you was completely out of my control.
☻A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay
together and never say good bye.
☻The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.
☻I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world

stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do
they will meet again.
☻I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I

realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we
never lose true friends.
☻EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS

mE reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE
U...
☻We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing:
YOU WILL NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!
your heart.
forever~!!!

friend 4ever!!
friend.

☻I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U
laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh
again.. hahaha

☻Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is

like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get
BETTER, u get OLDER.
☻The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our
friendship shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend
like YOU! :)
☻Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice

Friends, Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?
☻If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you
can take the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step to be
there for you.
☻6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind
from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME
as UR FRIEND
☻Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll

always be thankful that once, along my life's journey I found a friend
like U...
☻Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with
enough $money$ you can buy them back.
☻A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U

making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly
gd nite n sweet dreams...
☻I have seen angels in the sky… I have seen snowfall in july… I
have seen things u only imAgine to see… But I haven’t seen
anything sweeter than u.
☻There r many stars but the moon is u, there are many friends but
the best is u,, To forget me that’s up to u,,, To forget u I will never
ever do.
☻U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of
my reach but not out of my mind.I may mean nothing to u but u will
always be special to me!!
☻How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exist? How can u tell
the leaves not 2 fall when wind exist? How can u tell me not to fall
in friendship when u exist.
☻Knowing a friend like u has made me happy in a million ways And
if Ever I Have to Let you go………..I would Find a million reasons to
make u stay!!!!
☻ If I m in hell & u in heaven, I always look up & be proud of u. but if
I were In heaven & u in hell, I beg God 2 send me down coz heaven
wont be heaven without u.
☻Life is 4 u, death is 4 me, being happy is 4 u, being sad is 4 me,
being together is 4 u, being lonely is 4 me, everything 4 u but u r 4
me.
☻If I could pull down the rainbow I would write ur name with it & put
it back in the sky to let everybody know how colorful my life is with a
friend like u!!
☻Never say ur happy when ur sad… never say ur fine when ur not
ok… never say u feel good when u feel bad… and never say ur alone
when I m still alive.
☻Sometimes my mind asked why? I miss u, Why? I care 4 u, Why? I
remember u then my heart answered its simply b’coz you are a sweet
friend!!
☻On a silent night when friend r few, i close my eyes and fink of u, a
silent nite, a silent tear, a silent wish,dat u were here!
☻stars have 5ends, squares have4 ends, triangles have3 ends, lines
have2 ends, life has1 end, but i hope our friendship has no end
☻Although its quite a statement, Well it happens 2 b true. The best
friend i ever had, Im glad 2 say its u!
☻Smiles 'n' Tears, Giggles 'n' Laughs, Late nite calls 'n' Cute
fotographs, ill b rite here till da day of ma death best friends forever
till ma very last breath!!
☻The years will come the years will go but with each 1 i wil always
know whichever way the road may bend u wil always be my best
friend
☻when it hurts 2 look back & ur scared 2 look ahead, just look
beside u & i will b there.
☻i cant txt u roses or fax u my heart.id email u kisses but wed stil b
apart.i luv u 2 pieces n just wish ud c dat i care 4 u so much coz u
mean da world 2 me.
☻Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur life.but only tru friends will leave
foot prints in ur heart. . . . .u left urs in mine -x-
☻The recipe of friendship: 1 cup of sharing.2 cups of caring.3 cups
of forgiveness & hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends
4ever.
☻A friend gives hope wen life is low.A friend is a place where you
can go.A friend is honest- A friend is true.A friend is precious.A
friend is u!
☻A GOOD FRIEND ISLIKE A 'COMPUTER''ENTERS' UR
LIFE.'SAVES' U IN DA HEART.'FORMATS' UR PROBLEMS.'SHIFTS' U
2 OPPORUNITY & NEVA 'DELETS' U 4RM DA HEART
☻"In ur darkest hour wen ur fed up & blue.just remember this I'll
always be there 4 u.Im no angel N cant change ur fate.but I'll do
anything 4 u coz ur my m8."
☻ur a mate wiv a heart of gold.how much u mean to me can never
be told.ur sum1 2b talked bout so sweet and true.1 in a million dats u
☻A gun can kill some1.fire can burn some1.wind can chill.anger can
rage till it tearz u apart.but da power of ur smile can heal a frozen
heart
☻There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats
d gift of a wonderful friend like d friend dat i have in u!
☻Sum1 sum where dreamz of ur smiles & whilst thinking of u says
life is worthwhile.so wen ur lonely remember its true.that sum1 sum
where is thinking of u.
☻like a fallen star u fel into my life.u made me smile wen thingz
werent rite..if hugz were water id send u the c.n sail away 4eva jus u
n me.
☻R we friends or r we not.U told me once but i 4got.of all d m8s ive
eva met ur d 1 i wont 4get.& if i die b4 u do i will go 2 heaven & wait 4
u!
☻God in heaven God above please protect the friend i love.Sent wiv
a smile:-) sealed with a kiss.i love my friend whos reading this xx
☻A very special m8 of mine.in my heart all da time.to c u wiv a
happy smile makes my life feel worthwhile.warm & carin ur feelins
true.im glad i av a m8 like u!
☻Life can be hard & not always fun.But as night brings dark mornin
brings sun.Wen life gets tough & no1 seems 2 care.Give me a call
coz I'll always b there!
☻Tiny starz shinin bright its time 4 me 2 say goodnite.so close ur
eyes & snuggle up tight im wishin u sweet dreams 2nite!
☻Uve touched my heart uve touched my soul.bcos of u I now feel
whole.U'll always b my closest friend.u'll b in my heart 2 the very
end.
☻Dreams r2b 4goten reality to b lived.desires 2b fulfilled & destiny
2b reached.where it began.where will it end.friends from da
start.friends til da end!
☻Friends r angels that come from above.sent by god 4 me 2 luv.so
wen u r lonely sad n blue remember ill be there for u!
☻I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I'll
kill you for nothing!
☻We will now upgrade your brain, please wait............ Searching............
Searching......... still searching.............. sorry NO BRAIN found ! ! !
☻U got style, u got sex-appeal, u got the intelligence and u sure got the
body. Wait. Sorry, wrong number!
☻Friends are just like stars. You don't always see them, but you now
they are there for you. Your friend
☻A ring is round and has no end, that's how long I'll be your friend!!!
☻The morning is just a few moments away. Go to sleep and when you
wake up, remember me as a friend who is allways there for you and never
let you down
☻Hello too the owner of the cell-phone with no.+316........Your sim-card is
been cracked open by Hacker's,and will destroy your phone within 24
hours,from NOW!
☻Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before the
final copy.
☻The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please
report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any
inconvenience.
☻This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try
again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't
force it ugly!!!
☻Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down.
☻Live isn't easy it will never be .... Remember you got friends one of
them is me
☻Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over you.
☻I am a killer. I kill people for money. But, you are my friend. I kill you for
nothing!
☻When darkness moves in on me, it is the love of people like you that
allows me to go through defeat and still know to be fully accepted.
☻Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!
☻I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as
you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my
friend !!!
☻Roses are red violines are bleu, a face like yours belongs to the zoo.
☻Do you want to be a star**************************************************look
above and you see stars.
☻Roses are red, violets are blue, Frankenstein is ugly, but what the hell
happend to you?
☻Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still
searching......get a good grip of your gsm....still searching.......no brain
found.
☻Umm...your .... ZIP is open...
☻I'm not as dumb as you look.
☻If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
☻What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.
☻This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat,
busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
☻Roses are red ... Violets are blue ... but a face like yours belongs in the
zoo!!!
☻Roses are red violets are blue, shit stinks and so do you!
☻Hi, I am an alien and I'm checking for some chicks in your
phonebook..Searching..Searching..Searching..Sorry,no chicks found!
Gay?
Conclusion: You Are Gay!
☻Life is not easy, and it will never be, but remember you've got friends,
and one of them is me!
☻If you are in trouble, If you need a hand, Just call my number, because
I'm your friend!
☻Whenever I see your smiling face, I have to smile myself, because I like
you, you're my friend!!!
☻There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Cuddle-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, SM-Sex,
Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people like you: NO SEX.
Friendship Quotes
☻If i could choose but one friend, it would be you
☻Friendship like gardens, grow with beauty.
☻Our house filled with happiness is our hearts filled with love
☻A friend reaches for the hand and she touches your heart
☻May your journey throuhg life be long and fulfilling.
☻Meow my friend.
☻It's best friends that light the way through the bad times.
☻A friend in need is a friend indeed

☻Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice
☻The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb.
☻Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
☻The best mirror is an old friend.
☻There are many types of ships. There are wooden ships ,plastic
ships, and metal ships. But the best and most importaint types of
ships are friendships
☻Friendship is when people know all about you but like you
anyway.
☻Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
☻It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.
☻Life is nothing without friendship.
☻Love is friendship set on fire.
☻My best times, are the times I spend with you.
☻A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would
rather be someplace else.
☻The road to a friend's house is never long.
☻Always remember that every good friend was once a stranger - old
proverb.
☻You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. --
Barbara DeAngelis.
☻Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to
share troubles? -- Proverbs
☻Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world
together -- Woodrow Wilson
☻In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the
silence of our friends. -- Martin Luther King Jr
☻Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. -- Benjamin
Franklin
☻No one person can possibly combine all the elements supposed to
make up what everyone means by friendship.
☻No man is useless while he has a friend. -- Robert Louis
Stevenson
☻A friend to all is a friend to none. -- Aristotle

☻True friends are those who are there for you unconditionally.
Never do they question, but always offer support no matter what the
circumstances are. Best Friends are the people worth living for.
☻Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the
heart.
☻A best friend is somebody who knows every last thing about you,
yet still manages to like you anyway.
☻The medicine of life is to have several true faithful friends.
☻Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.
☻I get by with a little help from my friends. -- John Lennon
☻In a friend you find a second self. -- Isabelle Norton
☻My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. -- Henry
Ford
☻A true friend stabs you in the front. -- Oscar Wilde
☻Misfortune shows those who are not really friends. -- Aristotle
☻One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. -- Euripides
☻Friendship is like thighs, they are always sticking together.
☻Dont walk on front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me I
may not lead, just walk beside me and be my friend.
☻Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and

impossible to forget. -- G. Randolf
☻Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your
enemies won’t believe it. -- Belgicia Howell
☻The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your
riches but to reveal to him his own. -- Benjamin Disraeli
☻Friendships begin with liking or gratitude roots that can be pulled
up. -- George Eliot
☻What is a friend? I will tell you it is someone with whom you dare
to be yourself. -- Frank Crane
☻A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome
Cummings
☻Then come the wild weather, come sleet or come snow, we will
stand by each other, however it blow. -- Simon Dach
☻A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth. --
Charles Darwin
☻Our kind of friendship is like love without wings!
☻Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends. -- Jacques

Delille
☻A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. -- Frank
Crane
☻Best friend, my well-spring in the wilderness! -- George Eliot
☻Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are
dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now
instead. -- Anna Cummins
☻A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks
out. Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
☻Never exaggerate your faults, your friends will attend to that. --
Robert C. Edwards
☻A friend is someone you can be alone with and have nothing to do
and not be able to think of anything to say and be comfortable in the
silence. -- Sheryl Condie
☻I need you too know our friendship means a lot - If you cry then I
cry, if you laugh..if you jump out the window I look down then....I
laugh again :-)
☻But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really
haven't learned anything. -- Mohammed Ali
☻A good motto is: Use friendliness but do not use your friends. --
Frank Crane
☻Have no friends not equal to yourself. -- Confucius
☻"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even
though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.
☻A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome
Cummings
☻Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a
tree, but in the hearts of true friends. -- Cindy Lew
☻Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. -- Jewish Saying
☻"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes
you."
-- Elbert Hubbard
☻"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure."
-- Jewish saying
☻What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -- Aristotle
☻Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.-- Albert Camus
☻"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
☻The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.--
Abraham Lincoln
☻Hold a true friend with both your hands. -- Nigerian Proverb
☻"A faithful friend is the medicine of life."
-- Apocrypha
☻Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for
awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the
same.-- Anonymous
☻Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find one good you
must one hundred try. -- Claude Mermet
☻"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil."
-- Baltasar Gracian (1647)
☻"Friendship needs no words..."
-- Dag Hammarskjold.
☻"Friends are the sunshine of life."
-- John Hay (1871)
☻"The best mirror is an old friend."
--George Herbert
☻One who looks for a friend without faults will have none. -- Hasidic
Saying
☻A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks
out.-- Walter Winchell
☻Friends are needed both for joy and for sorrow. -- Samuel
Paterson
☻Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.--
John Evelyn
☻Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.-- Swedish
proverb
☻A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my
memory fails.-- Anonymous
☻Count your age with friends but not with years - Anonymous
☻Plant a seed of friendship; reap a bouquet of happiness. -- Lois L.
Kaufman
☻"I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the
things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or better than
friendship."
-- Pietro Aretino (1537)
☻"There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the
love of friends."
-- Hillaire Belloc
☻"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan
☻"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-
ripening fruit."
-- Aristotle (4th century B.C.)
☻"Friendship is essentially a partnership."
-- Aristotle (4th century B.C.)
☻"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for
their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto
him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him
up."
-- The Bible: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
☻"A friend loves at all times."
-- The Bible: Proverbs 17, 17.
☻"A companion loves some agreeable qualities which a man may
possess, but a friend loves the man himself."
-- James Boswell (1763)
☻"Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to
promote the good and happiness of one another."
-- Eustace Budgell (1711)
☻"Friendship is Love without his wings!"
-- Lord Byron (1806)
☻"Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens
adversity by dividing and sharing it."
-- Cicero (44 B.C.)
☻"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom
known until it be lost"
-- Charles Caleb Colton (1825)
☻"Every man passes his life in the search after friendship."
☻"A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature."
☻"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere."
☻"We do not so much need the help of our friends as the
confidence of their help in need."
-- Epicurus (3rd century B.C.)
☻"Friends show their love in times of trouble..."
-- Euripides (408 B.C.)
☻"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."
-- Euripides (408 B.C.)
☻"A good friend is my nearest relation."
-- Thomas Fuller (1732)
☻"My friend is he who will tell me my faults in private."
-- Solomon Ibn Gabirol
☻"Your friend is your needs answered."
-- Kahil Gibran
☻"Let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the
spirit."
-- Kahil Gibran.
☻"Let your best be for your friend..."
-- Kahil Gibran
☻"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing
of pleasures."
-- Kahil Gibran
☻"A sympathetic friend can be quite as dear as a brother."
-- Homer (9th century B.C.)
☻"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As
in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it
run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which
makes the heart run over."
-- Samuel Johnson
☻"However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship."
-- La Rochefoucauld (1665)
☻"A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we
take the least care to acquire."
-- La Rochefoucauld (1665)
☻"I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
☻I breathed a song into the air,

It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, who has sight so keen and strong
That it can follow the flight of song?
☻Long, long afterward, in an oak

I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend."
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
☻"You can make more friends in two months by becoming really
interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get
other people interested in you."
-- Bernard Meltzer
☻"Love is rarer than genius itself. And friendship is rarer than love."
-- Charles Peguy
☻"There can be no Friendship where there is no Freedom." --
William Penn
☻"No man is useless while he has a friend." -- Robert Louis
Stevenson
☻"A friend is a present you give yourself." -- Robert Louis
Stevenson
☻"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the
friends whom we choose." -- Tehyi Hsieh
☻"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you
must have somebody to divide it with." -- Mark Twain
☻An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.-- Proverbs 24:26
☻"A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be
anywhere else." -- Len Wein
☻"You cannot be friends upon any other terms than upon the terms
of equality."
-- Woodrow Wilson
☻It is not what you give your friend, but what you are willing to give
him that determines the quality of friendship. -- Mary Dixon Thayer
☻A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world. -- Leo
Buscaglia
☻Advice from your friends in like the weather, some of it is good,
some of it is bad.
-Anonymous
☻It's the ones you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that really matter.--
Marlene Dietrich
☻Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-Samuel Paterson
☻Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. --
Sicilian Proverb
☻Good friends are good for your health.-Irwin Sarason
☻The language of friendship is not words but meanings. -- Henry
David Thoreau
☻True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and
withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the
appellation. -- George Washington
☻I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability
to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
☻Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved
is the greatest happiness of existence.
-Sydney Smith
☻In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but
the silence of our friends.
-Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)
☻It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the
one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true
religion. The other is mere business. -- Mahatma Gandhi
☻One of the surest evidences of friendship that one individual can

display to another is telling him gently of a fault. If any other can
excel it, it is listening to such a disclosure with gratitude, and
amending the error.-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
☻A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your
success!-- Doug Larson
☻A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be
anywhere else. -- Len Wein
☻Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends. --
Czech. Proverb
☻Friendship is to be purchased only by friendship. A man may have

authority over others, but he can never have their hearts but by
giving his own. -- Thomas Wilson
☻Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
☻Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
☻Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to
forget.
☻You can only go as far as you push.
☻Actions speak louder than words.
☻The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody
else.
☻Don't let the past hold you back; you're missing the good stuff.
☻Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might
miss it.
☻A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to
have.
☻If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might
mean the world to someone else.
☻When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you
can look beside you and your best friend will be there
☻True friendship never ends.
☻Friends are forever.
☻Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you
know they are always there.
☻Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
☻What do you do when the only person who can make you stop
crying is the person who made you cry?
☻NOBODY IS PERFECT UNTIL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM.
(Isn't that the truth?)
☻Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
☻Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave
footprints in your heart.
Love Messages
☻Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget. And if I die
before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
☻When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't
wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, because I did it
and I found you.
☻Words however special... could never even start, to tell you all the love
I have for you within my heart. xXx
☻I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you,
this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!.…
☻Love under the stars... they seem very far, but you are so close the star
I love the most.
☻Somewhere, some1 dreams of your smile & finds your presence in life
so worthwhile. So when your lonely, remember its true that some1,
somewhere, is thinking of u.
☻Theres a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when you're gone. Mend me
to your side and never let go. The more I live The more I know, what's
simple is true, I love you.
☻Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in
your dreams !
☻My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell you all
the love I have for you within my heart!!!
☻The day that I'll die, when death replaces birth, I'll recognize angels'
faces, because I live with one on earth.
☻Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know
you're worth that sacrafice!
☻Heaven is the place where I would be, the day you would stop loving
me!
☻I miss you ... I need you ... More and more .... each day ... I love you ...
more than words ... can ever say.
☻If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into
a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!
☻The hardest thing in life is watching someone you love , loving
someone else.
☻Love is hard and will always be, but remember somebody loves you
and that one is ME !
☻Don't love 1, don't love 2, but love the 1 who loves you.
☻The words are easy when the language is LOVE !
☻There is somebody in the world. Diferent from the rest. The sweetest
person I know. That is why I love you so.
☻You showed me how it is to be loved. Now i know what really love is. 1
day we will be together forever. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again.
☻I love three things: the sun, the moon and you, the sun for the day, the
moon for the night and you forever.
☻i love the 'y'
i love the 'u'
i love the 'o'
put them together
and i love 'you'
☻For the world you are somebody, but for somebody, you are the world!
Lots of love, Somebody.
☻The first time we kissed, I closed my eyes, He closed his eyes, and
then....… WE MISSED!
☻Sometimes words are hard to find, to form that perfect line to let you
know you're always on my mind!
☻Where ever you're going, I'm going your way !
☻Ferrari's are red, Lambo's are blue... but I am as happy in a mini with
you.
☻For there is a certain someone who makes the grey sky blue, I'm glad
to say that one is you.
☻I don't wanna feel the way that I do, I just wanna be right here with you,
I don't wanna see, see us apart, I just wanna say straight from my heart I
miss you
☻If you're the desert, I'd be the sea. If you hunger then hunger for me.
Everything you ask I'll be. It's all good as long it's you I see.
☻You can fall from a bridge, you can fall from above, but the best way of
falling, is falling in love!
☻SMAK ... A mobile kiss... Keep your mobile close to your ear!
☻Love is like war ... Easy to start ... Difficult to end ... Impossible to
forget...
☻What I feel for you,is really true. You got to know,I need you so.
When you are gone,I can't go on. Can't you see, that you are the only
one for me?
☻If I had a penny for everytime I thought of you, I'd still miss you,
but at least I would be rich enough to come and see you..!!
☻I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I
miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each day more and
more!
☻If I die and go to heaven, I'll put your name on a golden star. So
that all the angels can see, how much you mean to me.
☻Every message is a smile ... every word is like a kiss but when you
touch me ...remember this ... my life is full with happiness
☻By following my heart I came to you, I only forgot to take
something back with me. For my thoughts are still with you.
☻The ideal husband is the one who understands what his wife did
not say.
☻Love is hard and will always be, but remember somebody loves
you and that one is ME !
☻If the people we love are stolen away from us the only way to have
them live on is to never stop lovin'them. Buildings burn, people die,
but real love is forever...
☻Without love I cannot live, You are love so I cannot live without
you!!!
☻LOVE is something beautiful,a desire, a feeling that one would like
to catch. LOVE is the feeling that makes you feel alive. LOVE is
something that may never go away!
☻I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too
big !!!!!
☻Roses of red grow in my heart and they will never wither... 'Cause
they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your voice or just think
of you!
☻If you live to be a hundred , I want to be a hundred minus one day ,
so I don't have to live a day without you...
☻You know what, in the whole world there is no such darling whom
I love and I want the whole world to know that I will never forget you!
☻If I die and go to heaven, I put your name on a golden star. So that
all the angels can see how much you mean to me !! I love you
☻I cannot resist the tears of a woman, that is why I would do
anything for you
☻You are always in my heart, here and everywhere, There is no one
in the whole world that makes me feel this way.
☻That I love you is no wonder. But the fact that you care about me,
that is very special.
☻Women admire a man because he is strong , but they love him for
his weaknesses.
☻There are a lot of birds wispering only about you, you should once
listen to them, then you would know how much I love you.
☻There Were Times You Make Me Cry... Looking 4 A Reason Why...
There Were Times You Make Me Fly...Stay With Me Until I Die...Stay
With Me...
☻I am looking for a word. I am looking for a whole new word. I am
looking for a word. I am looking for a word that nobody knows. I am
looking for a word. I am looking for a word that says...that you are
the best !!!
☻There are thousands of roses on this world, even if I gave you
every rose to you, that would not be enough to tell you how much I
love you!
☻When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star,
don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true,
'cause I did it and I found you!
☻When a heart is the sign of love ,and red the colour ...and when
walking around with your head in the clouds means that one is in
love..Why do I draw a line in blue and am I only thinking of you ?
☻The sky is full of golden stars shining in the light of the moon, but
the most beautiful light I see is in your eyes ...
☻The rose speaks of love silently in a language known only to the
heart.
☻In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.
☻What holds you together is far greater than what can tear you
apart.
☻A dream costs nothing unless you want it to come true
☻A butterfly needs its wings ... an icebear needs cold weather and I
... I need you!
☻Love... I want to hold you close to me and feel our hearts beat as
one … forever ....
☻I love you! From the earth till the moon!
☻I hope that you finally understand, that I will love you untill the
end, because your not just my girl, you are also my best friend!
☻What is a flower without the sun, what is the earth without the sky.
What am I without you, that is why I tell you … I love you
☻Tomorrow there is an other day.A day i'd rather spend with
you....without you there is no joy, only pain!
☻Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget.And if I
die before you do I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
☻Words however special... could never even start, to tell you all the
love I have for you within my heart. xXx
☻Love is forever, only the partners change...
☻If I would get a rose for every time I think of you, I would spend
every day in a rose garden, ... thinking of you
☻How can it be that I am sad and happy at the same time ... it's
because I know ... that you aren't back until tomorrow
☻I love two things, a rose and you. A rose for a short while, but you
the rest of my life
☻I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see
you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I
LOVE YOU!....
☻Love is....... to love more and more each day....
☻Love under the stars... they seem very far, but you are so close the
star I love the most
☻Lonely? no, how can I be lonely when you are always in my
thoughts. I wake up with you and go to sleep with you. I love you!!
☻Kiss me and you will see stars ....Love me and I will give them to
you.
☻I would love you only little when I would be able to say how much I
love you!... Kiss
☻Like a rose needs water, like a season needs change, like a poet
needs a pen, I need you!!
☻The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second
time you made little flames and now you make my heart burn like hell
!
☻Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up
in your dreams !
☻When darkness moves in on me,it's the love of people like you that
allows me to go through defeat and still know to be fully accepted.
☻They learned me that one hours equals 60 minutes and that one
minute equals 60 seconds, but they never told me that one second
without you can last for ever!
☻My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell
you all the love I have for you within my heart!!!
☻My eyes were set on you...it was love at first sight...
☻If the world was made of paper and the sea of ink, I would write
everywhere that I like you!
☻Far away from here, totally inaccessible. That is where you are.
Here next to me, within reach. That is where you are. Whereever you
go or when, you will always be near me.
☻I do not think much, i do not think often, but when I think, I think of
you!
☻The day that I'll die, when death replaces birth, I'll recognize
angels' faces, 'cus I live with one on earth..
☻Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I
know you're worth that sacrafice!
☻If you were a tear I would never dare to cry. I might lose you !
☻Heaven is the place where I would be, the day you would stop
loving me!
☻It must have been a rainy day when you were born, but it wasn't
really rain, the sky was crying because it lost his most beautifull
angel...!
☻I miss you ... I need you ... More and more .... each day ... I love you
... more than words ... can ever say
☻If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life
☻If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you
into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for
christmas!
☻3 words made my heart beat faster, 3 words made my legs shake 3
words made my head spin, 3 words: I love you!
☻To the whole world you are somebody....but to somebody you are
the whole world
☻If you are mad at me, you might just as well give me all my kisses
back !
☻The world is so more beautiful with you around!
☻All beautiful moments do not last long, except in our memory.
☻A kiss that tells it all is seldomly a first edition.
☻Being in love is when she looks at you and says: I would like to be
a cannibal.
☻Real love is the history of enormous patience.
☻Love stops being a joy when it stops being a secret.
(\_/)
(=.=)
(")(")
☻a sweet little rabbit, just like you, because I love you!! kisses...
☻Grow old with me! ...... The best is yet to come...
☻the hardesd thing in life is watching someone you love , loving
someone else
☻Tears in my eyes ......... Tears for you ...... Tears that realise how
much I love you
☻Roses are red and the sky is blue ........ and I love you
☻Push down if you miss me... that is sweet of you ...... Very sweet
indeed .... You can stop now ..... You really miss me, hé :-) .... me too
xxx
☻In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not
eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think
of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
☻Love is as a war, easy to start but hard to end..
☻When I think, I think of you, when I look, I want to look at you. I am
crazy about you, even if it seems to become an obsession
☻I would like to be a tear, born in your eyes, alive passing your
cheeks and dieing on your lips.
☻If a raindrop would mean ... I love you and you would ask me how
much I love you, i bet you that it would …. rain all day !
☻They say that kids tell the truth, but am I a child too when I tell you
that I love you enormously ?
☻Yesterday I did love you, tomorrow I will only think of you. You
know whant... I love you!
☻people are children............life is love...........and you are sunshine.
☻-<-@
A rose for you
Because I love you
☻don't love 1, don't love 2, but love the 1 who loves you
☻Where were you before you came camping in my heart??? You
started a fire and now my heart is filled with flames !!!
☻I love you so much !
☻Loving and being loved is feeling the sun shine at both sides.
☻Love is ... being married to your best friend.
☻I love you even more than when I started this sentence.
☻You always smile, you never say no, you never hurt me, my dear
sweet teddybear!
☻The words are easy when the language is LOVE !
☻I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am
when I am with you.
☻It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a
day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
☻To love you is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
☻Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like your
unrequited love.
☻I appreciate all the things you do, and the way you show you care.
☻When God gave you to me, he planted the image of you deep in
my heart.
☻When you left, my world turned upside down
☻I love you more than all the tea in China.
☻I'll love you till the end! And then some.
☻If love were a movie, you'd be a coming attraction.
☻If love were to be taxed, I would be the highest tax payer.
☻The most important things in my world are to get food, drink and
to love you.
☻A day without your love is a day without life.
☻I can't think of anything but you.
☻I don't know how I could have done that thing, when I love you like
life itself. Please forgive me.
☻You're the best thing since God made men.
☻You're the best thing since God made women.
☻You are my friend, my love, my forever Valentine.
☻The only love worthy of a name is unconditional.
☻You many meet people better than me, funnier than me, more
hilarious than me, but one thing I can say to you, I will 'ALWAYS' be
there when they ALL leave YOU!
☻It may sound simple, nothing unique or original... but yet it means
so much and take courage to say. I wanna tell you 'I Miss You Alot!'
☻When a door of happiness closes. Another opens. But so often at

times we look so long at da closed door.. that we do not see the 1
which has been opening at us
☻True luv is eternal... Cherish da luv when U've got the chance, for
once it leaves U, it would b difficult 2 get it back.. Don't let luv be
only a memory in U..
☻U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. U may be out of

my reach, but not out of my mind. I may mean nothing to u, but u'll
always be special to me.
☻Someday you'll 4get abt me, ...my name, ...my voice, who I am &
who I am 2 you... But even if you 4get abt me, I just wan u to know...
I'll never 4get you...
☻Hearts could only love for a while, feets could only walk for some
miles, clothes won't 4ever be in style, but having U as my 'lover' is
4ever worthwhile....
☻Love, knows no reason, knows no time, it has a sole intention of

bringing people together to a time, called - F O R E V E R...
☻1 min, 1 hr, 1 day, 1 wk, 1 mth, 1 yr, no matter how long, I'll
treasure the times we've spent together!
☻So many questions, but the answers are so few, all i really know,
is, I MISS YOU !
☻Loving u is not just having a cup of coffee. It still takes me time to

add in sugar and milk to make it sweeter and pure...
☻Fate has brought us together, to meet, to know and to part is the

saddest thing in life... I £ove You...
☻Curved high on a mountain covered in dew... I saw these 3 words...

I LOVE YOU!
☻i may seldom tell u how special u are, i may not be able to reach u
coz we're both busy, but inspite of all, u know u are someone i really
miss and care about.
☻Loving is not how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but
how u understand, not what u see but how u feel, and not how u let
go but how u hold on.
☻SMAK ... A mobile kiss... Keep your mobile close to your ear!
☻Love is like war ... Easy to start ... Difficult to end ... Impossible to
forget...
☻What I feel for you,is really true. You got to know,I need you so.
When you are gone,I can't go on. Can't you see, that you are the only
one for me?
☻If I had a penny for everytime I thought of you, I'd still miss you,
but at least I would be rich enough to come and see you..!!
☻I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I
miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each day more and
more!
☻If I die and go to heaven, I'll put your name on a golden star. So
that all the angels can see, how much you mean to me.
☻Every message is a smile ... every word is like a kiss but when you
touch me ...remember this ... my life is full with happiness
☻By following my heart I came to you, I only forgot to take

something back with me. For my thoughts are still with you.
☻The ideal husband is the one who understands what his wife did
not say.
☻Love is hard and will always be, but remember somebody loves
you and that one is ME !
☻If the people we love are stolen away from us the only way to have
them live on is to never stop lovin'them. Buildings burn, people die,
but real love is forever...
☻Without love I cannot live, You are love so I cannot live without
you!!!
☻LOVE is something beautiful,a desire, a feeling that one would like

to catch. LOVE is the feeling that makes you feel alive. LOVE is
something that may never go away!
☻I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too
big !!!!!
☻Roses of red grow in my heart and they will never wither... 'Cause
they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your voice or just think
of you!
☻If you live to be a hundred , I want to be a hundred minus one day ,

so I don't have to live a day without you...
☻You know what, in the whole world there is no such darling whom
I love and I want the whole world to know that I will never forget you!
☻If I die and go to heaven, I put your name on a golden star. So that
all the angels can see how much you mean to me !! I love you
☻I cannot resist the tears of a woman, that is why I would do

anything for you
☻You are always in my heart, here and everywhere, There is no one

in the whole world that makes me feel this way.
☻That I love you is no wonder. But the fact that you care about me,
that is very special.
☻Women admire a man because he is strong , but they love him for
his weaknesses.
☻There are a lot of birds wispering only about you, you should once
listen to them, then you would know how much I love you.
☻There Were Times You Make Me Cry... Looking 4 A Reason Why...

There Were Times You Make Me Fly...Stay With Me Until I Die...Stay
With Me..
☻I love you not because of who you are,
but because of who I am when I am with you.
☻No man or woman is worth your tears,

and the one who is, won't make you cry.
☻Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them
to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
☻To the world you may be one person,

but to one person you may be the world.
☻Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting

the right one,
so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be
grateful.
☻Don't cry because it is over,

smile because it happened.
☻Make yourself a better person and know who you are

before you try and know someone else and expect them to know
you.
☻A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand

and
☻Thetouches
worst your heart.
way to miss someone is to be sitting
right beside them knowing you can't have them.
☻Never frown, even when you are sad,

because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
☻To the world you may be one person,

but to one person you may be the world.
☻Don't waste your time on a man/woman,

who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
☻There's always going to be people that hurt you

so what you have to do is keep on trusting
and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
☻Don't try so hard, the best things come

when you least expect them to.
☻Remember: Whatever happens,

happens for a reason.
☻In all your remembering, remember

that you have choices.
☻Though many people will go in and out of your heart

only one will want to stay there. If you bulid a heart full of holes,
think how much easier it is to hang on.
☻It isn't what happens in your life that matters most,
it is what your heart does with it, who it shares it with and what
together they learn from it.
☻They say forgive and forget,

but if someone is worth forgiving
then you'll never forget them.
☻The greatest thing you'll ever learn

is to love and be loved in return.
Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you
☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.
☻Theres a warmth in my heart It haunts me when you're gone

Mend me to your side and never let go
Say Time knows nothing,
we'll never grow cold
The more I live The more I know
Whats simple is true I love you
☻Somewhere, some1 dreams of your smile

& finds your presence in life so worthwhile.
So when your lonely,
remember its true that
some1, somewhere, is thinking of u.
☻The words are easy when the language is love
☻If u read,u owe me a HUG,

if u delete,u Owe me a KISS,
if u save,u owe me a DATE,
if u return txt msg 2 me,
u OWE me All,
bt if u ignore,
U r MINe!
So wat will U do?
☻A B C D E F G H I J
KLMNOPQRS
TVWXYZ
oops! i miss "U"
☻A ring is round,
A well is deep
& in ur arms i long to sleep
& in your bed i long to lie
no 1 else but u & i
☻I am looking for a word. I am looking for a whole new word. I am
looking for a word. I am looking for a word that nobody knows. I am
looking for a word. I am looking for a word that says...that you are
the best !!!
☻There are thousands of roses on this world, even if I gave you

every rose to you, that would not be enough to tell you how much I
love you!
'cause I did it and I found you!
☻When a heart is the sign of love ,and red the colour ...and when
walking around with your head in the clouds means that one is in
love..Why do I draw a line in blue and am I only thinking of you ?
☻The sky is full of golden stars shining in the light of the moon, but
the most beautiful light I see is in your eyes ...
☻The rose speaks of love silently in a language known only to the

heart.
☻In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.
☻What holds you together is far greater than what can tear you
apart.
☻A dream costs nothing unless you want it to come true
☻A butterfly needs its wings ... an icebear needs cold weather and I
... I need you!
☻Love... I want to hold you close to me and feel our hearts beat as
one … forever ....
☻I love you! From the earth till the moon!
☻I hope that you finally understand, that I will love you untill the
end, because your not just my girl, you are also my best friend!
☻What is a flower without the sun, what is the earth without the sky.
What am I without you, that is why I tell you … I love you
☻Tomorrow there is an other day.A day i'd rather spend with

you....without you there is no joy, only pain!
☻Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget.And if I
die before you do I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
☻Words however special... could never even start, to tell you all the
love I have for you within my heart. xXx
☻Love is forever, only the partners change...
☻If I would get a rose for every time I think of you, I would spend
every day in a rose garden, ... thinking of you
☻How can it be that I am sad and happy at the same time ... it's
because I know ... that you aren't back until tomorrow
☻I love two things, a rose and you. A rose for a short while, but you
the rest of my life
LOVE YOU!....
☻Love is....... to love more and more each day....
☻Love under the stars... they seem very far, but you are so close the
star I love the most
☻Lonely? no, how can I be lonely when you are always in my

thoughts. I wake up with you and go to sleep with you. I love you!!
☻Kiss me and you will see stars ....Love me and I will give them to
you.
☻I would love you only little when I would be able to say how much I
love you!... Kiss
☻Like a rose needs water, like a season needs change, like a poet
needs a pen, I need you!!
☻The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second
time you made little flames and now you make my heart burn like hell
!
☻Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up
in your dreams !
☻Working is a delight, leave enough work for your colleagues.
☻My husband and I cannot decide... a dog or a child..do we ruin our

carpet or our life?
☻Remember that you are unique... just like everybody else!
☻I never forget a face, but for you I will make an exception.
☻Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties!
☻A good movy can make you cry... so can onions.
open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories … of many
good things.

☻Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be te most beautiful one




know they're there!
of them is me ...
☻U mUz bE tiReD cOz u haF bEEn runNinG thrU mY miNd, u gOttA
bE a thiEf coZ u haF stOleN My hEaRt n i muZ haF BeEn a bAd
shOotEr CoZ i kEep miSSing u...
☻Fate brought the both of us together. So naturally when you look

at us, you will think we match each other. Coz we are make to be for
each other.
☻If love is water, I'll give u the ocean. If kisses are spaces, I'll give u
the universe... If heat was your love & care, how I wish the sun was
beside me...
☻Itz better this way U say 2 b or not 2 b. Is up 2 U to say, U r FREE

to CHOOSE, but i'm AFRAID to LOSE... but no matter when.. no
mater where... I LOVE U...
☻The SPACES between ur FINGERS were created so that another

person's fingers would fill them in. Hope U found the hand that u r
☻it dos
meant 2 hold onme
nt hurt 4ever..
seeing you in luv wd sum1 else, not wen i c u so
hapi wd her
n nt wen u dnt say hi 2 me. it hurts me knwing dat i shud've been in
her place.
☻t's a luvly feeling 2 stand on d top of a hill & feel on ur face d touch
of d
cool soft wind, he same is d feeling wenevr I hear ur voice & c ur
smyl.
☻There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone

not because that
person has started hating us but because we found out that they'd
be happier if
we let them go.
☻Days wil b spnt lyk yirs f dos days wil b spnt w/out u, smiles r lyk
frwn f its
nt ment 4 u, but 4ever wil sound gre8t f u promise 4ever to me!
☻FYT 4UR LOVE, dats ol dey say.LET HER KNOW & DON't LET HER
GO, so what dey
think of. IT WUD WORK OUT is dey beliv in. SET UR HART FREE, its
wat they see.
but how can i......wen 4u ITS NEVER ME?!!!
☻everyone wants 2 be the sun dat lights up your lyf.But I'd rather be
ur moon,so
I can shine on u during ur darkest hour when ur sun isn't around.
☻Luv not one, Luv not two Luv d one who luvs u true Luv not three,
Luv not four
Luv d one who luvs u more Luv not five, Luv not six Luv d one who
really sticks
Luv not seven, Luv not eight Luv d ne who really waits...
☻If I had the letter "HRT", I can add "EA" to get heart or a "U" and
get "HURT".
But Id rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than to have a "HEART"
without "U".
☻There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone

not because that
person has started hating us but because we found out that they'd
be happier if
we let tham go.
☻I would give up happines to never see you sad, I would give up

eternity to be
with you always, I would give up my life so that yours would be
new... I'd give
up everything... except you...
☻the pain inflicted, is because the good times (no matter how brief)
make it all
worthwhile.
☻why say HI! if u mean I MISS U.. why say LET'S GO! if u mean I
WANT 2 B W/ U..
why say STAY! if u can say B WITH ME... and why say I CARE wen ur
heart says I
LUV U!
☻i dont want 2 live anoder day if u're no longer der, 4 in dis lyf only
u can
inspyr me 2 c d nxt sunrys, only u can motiv8 me 2 apprec8 d colors
of lyf dat
no one else can.
☻ts funny that all of the souls in this worls knows how i feel for
you..but you
it seems that ur the only one who doesnt have the clue.. i just wanna
tell you
what everybody knows and thats I LOVE YOU...
☻not ol d tym i can go wid u. not ol d tym i can plis u. not al d tym
im
available 4 u 2 tok 2. but 1 thing is 4 sure, i'l care 4 u even wen u
least
expect me 2.
☻dont set ppl free if u luv dem, keep dem and treasure dem and fyt
for dem...
kaya nga pinaglaban kita eh, kasi LOVE KITA!!!
☻Luv is only a gift gven 2 us, we shd not hold it in r hands 4 we may
nvr find d
strength 2 let go wen it dcded 2 leave, we shd only mbrace 8s
warmth & glow wyl
it last & den frily open r arms when its tme 2 say gudbye........
☻if someone asks me if ur good...il say ur not...if they say ur

better...il say
ur not...why shud i say ur good or better if ur 1 of d best i ever had...
☻id rather to loved and be hurt than nothing at all
☻If you love someone, put their name in a circle instead of a heart,
because
hearts can break, but circles go on forever.
☻if you cud be a part of my body,i'd let you be my heart for i want
you to be
the most important,be the center of ol my emotions and be the last 1
to stop
wen it's tym for me to "GO". .
☻y hide ur
elings 2 d 1 u love? y lav d 1 hu lavs anader? y give evrything if
only pain comes in return? y wait if ders nothing 2 wait 4? i guess d
anser
is... LOVE
☻i know its wrong 4 me 2 fall 4 u,but i cant get through it & if

choosing ryt
means letting u go...then let me be wrong 4ever...
☻my hart s made 2 luv u, my lips are made 2 kis u, my eyes r made 2
c u, my
hands r made 2 hold u .....evry part of me wants u, maybe bcoz i was
made just
4 u!!
☻u can close ur eyes wd d things u dnt want 2 c bt u can never

close ur heart wd
d thigs u dnt want 2 feel.
☻U promsd 2 tke cre of me bt u hrt me, u promsd me 2 brng me joy

bt u brought me
tears, u promisd me ur luv bt u gave me PAIN....ME? i promised u
Nothing but i
gave yoy EVERYTHING!!!!
Love Quotes
☻I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I
fall in love... it never seems to last.
☻I'm so sad when you're gone. Come back soon. Miss you!
☻In my dreams and in our love for 1 another there are no
impossibilities.
☻Love is like quicksand - the deeper you fall in it the harder it is to
get out.
☻You're just my cup of tea.
☻Love is like the truth, sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts.
☻Love is not something you feel. It's something you do.
☻Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling
in love with you was completely out of my control.
☻My girlfriend told me, I should be more Affectionate, so i got two
Girlfriends.
☻My heart is breaking since you went away
☻My love belongs to you.
☻My love is ever in your service.
☻One good thing about internet dating: you're guaranteed to click
with whomever you meet.
☻One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is
love.
☻To feel love gives pleasure to one; to express it gives pleasure to
two.
☻To the world you might be one person, but to one person you
might be the world
☻True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few
have seen.
☻True love never lives happily ever after - true love has no ending.
☻Trust, Love & Keep Moving (Growing)
☻We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly
by embracing one another.
☻We must love one another or die
☻When you left, I stopped smiling
☻Where ever I go, whatever I do, I carry a little part of you with me
right here in the center of me heart.
☻Who cares whether this is a poem or rhyme, I will love you until
the end of time...
☻With love and patience, nothing is impossible.
☻You gotta learn to laugh, it's the way to true love.
☻You need Money to call someone Honey.
☻You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
☻You touched my heart and changed my life for the better.
☻You're the icing on my cake. What's that? Chocolate, of course...
☻You're the laughter in my life.
☻You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve
your love and affection.
☻Your love's better than a cold beer on a warm day. Almost...OK
then, definitely!
☻Your love's better than a home run with the bases loaded.
☻Your love's better than chocolate
☻Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the
real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Goethe.
☻A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. -
Woodrow Wyatt
☻I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved. - George
Elliot
☻LOVE: The irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired. - Mark
Twain
☻The first duty of love - is to listen. - Paul Tillich
☻One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is
love. - Sophocles
☻How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry
and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?" -
Albert Einstien
☻Life is a flower of which love is the honey. - Victor Hugo
☻Love is friendship set to music. - E. Joseph Crossmann
☻At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato
☻Love is a great beautifier. - Louisa May Alcott
☻In our life there is a single color, as on an artist`s palette, which
provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love. - Marc
Chagall
☻Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an
hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
THAT'S relativity. - Einstein.
LOVE YOU!
☻Love is being stupid together.
☻Love is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same
direction.
☻Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know
who is falling in love with your smile.
☻No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from
your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows
no age.
☻Love conquers all. - Virgil.
☻It’s hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less to find
someone who loves you as much. When the chance comes, don't
ever let go.
☻Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
☻All we need is love.
☻Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a
conspiracy of love.
☻Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. - Einstien.
☻Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and VERY important.
☻Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it'll crush, hold it too
loose, it'll fly
☻Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is
Better Than A Dream.
☻Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the
ride worthwhile.
☻Love is a gift of one's inner most soul to another so both can be
whole
☻Love is also like a coconut which is good while it is fresh, but you
have to spit it out when the juice is gone, what's left tastes bitter.
☻People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I
fall in love all over again
☻Talk 2 me when i'm bored, kiss me when i'm sad, hug me when i
cry, care 4 me when i die, love me when i'm still alive
☻The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt
☻The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love
someone else.
☻The love we give away is the only love we keep.
☻The prerequisite for making love is to like someone enormously
☻There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always
seem to find myself back in love with you.
☻There is no remedy for love but to love more.
☻There is nothing more important in life than love.
☻A good love is delicious because you can't get enough too soon.
☻A smile to put you on high... A kiss to set your soul alright...Would
it be alright if I spent tonight being loved by you?
☻Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent,
protects you from age.
☻All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't
hurt!
☻Don't forget to love yourself.
☻He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and
loved much.
☻I see you in every passing face
☻I'll love you till the cows come home.
☻If love were a movie, you'd be a box office hit!
☻It's a rainy day when you're not around
☻Let love be your greatest aim.
☻Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
☻Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
☻Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.
☻Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you
think about yourself.
☻Love makes everything lovely.
☻Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to
live?
☻Love teaches even asses to dance.
☻Love without return is like a question without an answer
☻Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!
☻Love: Two minds without a single thought.
☻Lovers, like bees, lead a honey-sweet life.
☻Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.

☻To find a truly great friend, you have to keep one eye closed - to
keep him, two.
heart.
Best Friend Messages

successes.
☻I do not want a friend who smiles when I smile who weeps when I
weep for my shadow in the pool can do better than that.
☻A true friend cares for you if she says nasty things to your face
instead of behind your back.
☻Real friendship is most notable in those times of trouble. Times of
prosperity are full of 'friends'.
☻True friendship comes when silence between two people is
comfortable.
☻Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
☻Life without friendship is like the sky without sun.
☻Friendship is a single soul living in two bodies.
☻Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship -- never.
☻Two people can't wish to be friends long if they can't manage to
forgive each other's minor failings.
☻Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the
doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.
☻There is no distance too far between best friends, for friendship
gives wings to the heart.
☻There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.
☻Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.

☻To find a truly great friend, you have to keep one eye closed - to
keep him, two.
heart.
successes.
☻I do not want a friend who smiles when I smile who weeps when I
weep for my shadow in the pool can do better than that.
☻A true friend cares for you if she says nasty things to your face
instead of behind your back.
☻Real friendship is most notable in those times of trouble. Times of
prosperity are full of 'friends'.
☻True friendship comes when silence between two people is
comfortable.
☻Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
☻Life without friendship is like the sky without sun.
☻Friendship is a single soul living in two bodies.
☻Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship -- never.
☻Two people can't wish to be friends long if they can't manage to
forgive each other's minor failings.
☻Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the
doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.
☻There is no distance too far between best friends, for friendship
gives wings to the heart.
☻There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.
Funny Messages
☻20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex,
19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile
in his hand
☻A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front

of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to
pay for this all.
☻Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!
☻At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same
time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
☻Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are
old!
☻Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have
unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have
multiple orgasm again!
☻Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me

don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!
☻Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still

searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no
brains found.
☻Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O,
than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
☻Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
☻Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !
☻E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays
$.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.
☻Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
☻For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise
to stay here ?"
☻God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you
too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
☻God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and
saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and
thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!
☻HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just

wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!
☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I

will leave, I can't find a brain.
☻Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst
monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..
☻How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or

impregnated?
☻I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my

friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
☻I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
☻I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
☻I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have

kids...
☻I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful

colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just
take the next one!
☻I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...
☻If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
☻If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years
you can prove that you have not changed a bit.
☻If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit
enough to travel.
☻Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ...
look he is working!
☻In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN
CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
☻It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped,

horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!
☻Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???
☻Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5
for SM and for everything ... dial my number!
☻My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No,
they make me sick."
☻My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is
at this moment...
☻Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
☻One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and
your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
☻Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are
too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
☻Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
☻roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the
hell happened to you????
☻roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one
doesn't...
☻Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in

bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right
hand ..................
☻Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!
☻The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more
I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be
learning??
☻The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !
☻They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?
☻This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat,
idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all
without the word cat!
☻This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message

a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile
by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.
☻This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during
the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."
☻This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try

again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey
don't force it ugly!!!
☻Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy

mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you
are?
☻We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are
already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically
that at that age only few people die."
☻We will now upgrade your brain.......Please

wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no
brain found !!!
☻What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ...
What we want, is not allowed!
☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and
gave you a shower!!
☻You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical

expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.
☻You are never too blond to learn !!!
☻You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS...
and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong
number
☻You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do
things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing
things.
☻You should know what it takes to look this cheap!
☻You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around
your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you
☻You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave
out, talking about it or thinking about it?
☻You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with
your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number
☻You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.
☻Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the

length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You
can telephone for free from now on!
☻It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores
you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3
men should never meet!
☻A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a
butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my
ass!
☻i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card
in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!
☻Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm
playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!
☻Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU
after all!
☻Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came
fifth he won a toaster
☻A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's
nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
☻At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million
people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool
is reading my text!pass on
☻The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain
makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
☻i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U
lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
Jokes Messages
☻When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen
she's ready to fuck!
☻The 3 wonders of a woman 1*give milk without eating grass 2*get wet
without water 3*bleed for a week without going 2 die
☻No Boys! No Boys, no Sex. No Sex, no Kids. No Kids, no School. No
School, no problems! Why Boys??
☻After the party - mum, I am not drunk, I can lay on the flour without
holding on
☻A girl phoned me the other day and said...Come on over, there is
nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
☻I love you in the mornig, I love you in the evening, but most of all, I love
you when you are leaving
☻No men, no love, No love, no sex, No sex, no childeren, No childeren,
no school, No school, no homework, No homework, no problems!
☻NEWS FLASH snow white has been thrown out disneyland. she pulled
up her skirt, sat on pinnochios face & shouted lie u bastard, lie, lie!
☻What's the difference between your job and your wife? Your job still
sucks after five years!
☻If you want SEX take a boy and RELAX but don't forget DUREX!!!
☻If you think fuck is funny fuck yourself and save the money
☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave
you a shower!!
☻Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't
have if you didn't have a computer.
☻The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think.
☻If you have no voice: SCREAM...... If you have no legs: RUN......... If you
have no hope: INVENT…
☻When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with
boys!!
☻Man: I would really like to get into your pants. Woman: No thanks.
There's already one asshole in there.
☻A man was dying of cancer. His son asked him:dad why do you keepon
telling everyone that your dying of AIDS.He replied"So that when i die no
1 will fuck ur mom
☻Kill one you're a murderer, kill 10 you're a serial murderer, kill them all,
you're GOD.
☻The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed. Today I know better, so I
will write it in my letter. In my bed I've seen so many faces, so I'll fuck you
at different places.
☻Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute;
short...sweet and always cheap!!!
☻Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
☻To wake up in the morning and always see the sun no matter the
weather, I'm glad the day has begun.
☻I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.
☻When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting

? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."
☻One chicken to an other: are you tokkin' to me?
☻Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I
can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis, I
will have it enlarged.
☻A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond

one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others
☻What's the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some

signs say stop.
☻When god created the men he was only kidding
☻Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy?

................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!
☻Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner.
AMEN
☻When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up,
because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants
down.
☻There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a
red. Who has the biggest boops ? ............ The blond because she
already reached the age of 20!!!
☻If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents !
☻How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ...................

.................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
☻Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters
☻Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get

there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.
☻You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why,
don't you like pizza?!
☻Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has
a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2
bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise
☻Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two

mothers-in-law !
☻What does it say on the wrapping of the Morning-after pil???

......first some screwing before use
☻Farmer seeks woman with tractor. Please add photo of tractor.
☻Do you think I can live for another fourty years? ... Do you drink?
... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the whores? ... No!
....... Why do you want to live another fourty years?
☻Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead
period?"
☻There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it
does not help a bit. There are more every day.
☻Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ?
"Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"
☻Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but

be aware, pay attention during the applause."
SMS Poems
BITE OF U
The length & breadth & height of you
total up to quite a view,
but to taste the true delight of you
I'll have to take a bite of you.
UR SMILE
Your smile is a general
my heart a soldier
STARS
If the universe did start with a bang
when God loved and the angels sang
one of the sparks that flew
chased time to become you
DOVE
when the moon shine from the heaven above,
i open my dove a i lyin the floor
KISS
if kisses wer rain id send u showers,
if fun was time id send u hrs,
if u needed a frnd id send u me!
HUH?
As i lie on my bed and look at the stars, and the moon, and the sky...
i wonder...
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOF?!?!?!?
BOOK OF LIFE
Starting a new day,
Starting a new life,
Starting a new page,
In the Endless Book of Life.
LETTING GO
if i luv sum1 let them go...
if they return it was meant to b...
if they dont their luv was never yours 2 begin wif
FORGET ME NOT
forgettin you is hard to do
forgettin me is up to you
forget me not
forget me never
forget this message
but not the sender
SENT WITH A SMILE

god in heaven,
god above
please protect the one i love,
sent with a smile,
sealed with a kiss,
i love the one who is reading this
STOLEN
Your words of love steal
someone's heart,
but you don't know that your
heart is already stolen by me,
check it!
FOUND YOU
I love you up from heaven
down to the ground
I'm really glad
to have you found
ANGEL
last night an angel walked into my room. I asked him to watch over
you.
but he came back I asked him why he said:an angel doesn't watch
over another angel
DONT4GET
Please remind me 2 remind u about reminding me 2 send u this
reminder that reminds me of reminding u that i am always ur friend.
DONT 4GET!
HOW MUCH U MEAN 2 ME

If i go 2 heaven an ur not der i'll write ur name on evry stair 4 all 2 c
how much u mean 2 me
ALL THE TIME

Good time,
bad time,
night time,
day time,
work time,
off time,
sad time,
happy time,
in the mean time i'm thinking of you all the time.
TOO MUCH!
when God gave us friendships he tried to be fair, but when i got you,
i got more than my share!
2 GOOD 2 B TRUE
they say sugar is sweet and honey is too but baby wot do i call u? ur
sexier than sexy and hotter than that there's only one name 4 u and
thats 2 good 2 b true
FALL
U can fall from the sky
U can fall from a tree
But the best way to fall
is in love with me.
4EVER
u r me, and i is u for eva our love will be true
MEANT 2 B
i love u babe i really do, i love the times when im with u, the way u
say that u love me, i think that this was meant to be
STOLEN
Your words of love steal
someone's heart,
but you don't know that your
heart is already stolen by me,
check it!
DONT MESS WITH ME

here's my halo
made of glass
mess with me
and i'll kick ur ass
MA HUNI
Gifts r given @ b'days, chocs @ valentine, roses 2 say sorry, luv is
shown wid kisses, but da reason 4 sending dis is.... cuz UR MA
HUNI!!
LUV U
I love u wen u r sad.
I love u wen u r happy.
I love u wen u r teasing.
I love u wen u r laughing.
I love u wen u r angry.
I love u wen u love love me.
KISS 2 U
a kiss to you
from you know who
they say you knew me
COZ
It must have been a rainy day! when u were bourn heaven was crying
coz it lost it's most beautiful angel...
AMONG THE STARS

Among the stars you´re the one that shines the most.Among the
winds you´re the one that brings the warm air.Among the people
you´re the one who I wanna give a rose.
MISS U
i miss u
r u miss me
its u know or God know
but i know about my heart and brain
that is crying everytime for u.
dont froget me.
I MISS U
I miss u wen ur far away,i fink bout u evry nite n day i really cant
believe its true dat 1 day ill b bak wth u.
LOVE ME
Love me,
dont hate me!
Your love is my life,
Your hate is my death!
FALLING
You can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree but you will get hurt.
But falling in love with me is like falling in heaven!
EVRY NITE
Every night when I look at the moon, it reminds me of you, how you
can see the same moon. It makes me sometimes sad because I can
see the moon, but I can´t see you.
LEARN 2 LUV
Learn 2 love the people who are willing to love U at present.4get the
people in the past & tnk dem 4 hurting U which led U 2 luv d people U
have right now.
Riddle Messages
☻Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak?
☻Nok nok.Who's there?....Marie!....Marie who?.....Mariewhowanna....!!
☻The jogger who overslept found himself running late.
☻The more you study. Tthe more you know. The more you know. The
more you forget. The more you forget. The less you know. So why study?
☻no men no women no women no love no love no sex no sex no
children no children no school no school no homework no homework no
problems!
☻Everything in life is relative, ask Einstein.
☻If my right leg was thanksgiving and my left leg was christmas, would
you visit me between the holidays?
☻When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly I
realized that I was talking to myself.
☻Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
☻How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.
☻Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
☻How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28
look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age
78 4get it
☻If all the boys lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I
would be ?
☻What kind of children do you get using a yellow condom ?
................... NONE ! you stupid !
☻Why does a nun never wears a bra ? ............ God supports

everything...
☻If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a
thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?
☻What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?
☻When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking

of hostageship?
☻What is the velocity of the darkness ?
☻Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?
☻How do you know when you run out of invisible ink ?
☻When you strangle a smurf, what colour does he get ?
☻Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a
phone!
☻What happens when the earth turn 30 times faster?...You get your
salary every day and all women bleed dead!!!
☻when is a man worth some money??................When he pushes a

trolley
☻Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman?The head had to

be hollow to make a restaurant in it!
☻Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.
☻Why does beer contain female hormones ? ... When you drink too
much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to
nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.
☻How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite
☻It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster?

................... My fly!
☻When do you know you are overweight? .... When you are
sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you
back into the sea.
☻Why did God create the man first and only afterwards the woman?
.... To give him the chance to enjoy heaven on earth for just a few
moments.
☻Why are men like sperm cells? ...... Only one out of a million is
useful.
☻Why are men happy when they finish a puzzle in two months
time..... Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.
☻Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time?
.... Because he would be a woman then.
☻Why are men like a toothbrush? .... They are useless without
handle.
☻Why are men like snails? ..... They have horns, they slobber and
they trudge along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.
☻What happens when a man is in the water up till his navel ? ......
That is beyond his comprehension.
☻Why do have so many men a beer gut? ..... Than at least an

unemployed dwarf has a roof over his head.
☻The ressemblance of a man and a cup of coffee? ..... They both get
on the nerve.
☻What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? a fridge

does not moan when there is meat inside
☻It is round and orange and says:"I am an orange, I am an orange"?

.................. a mandarin who thinks big
☻What is the difference between a washing machine and a teacher?

a washing machine runs on batteries and a teacher gets on the
nerves.
☻What is the difference between a battery and a woman? ...... A

battery has also a positive side.
☻why do have men bandy legs? ......... all unimportant matters are
between brackets
☻How does a dummy catch a rabbit? ... He sits behind a tree and
imitates the sound of a carrot.
☻Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ... When
she feels something wet she turn on her back.
☻It is white and it stands in the corner? ....... A punished fridge
☻What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both

seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!
☻Why did God create the man first and only then the woman? ......
Everyone makes a draft first!!!
☻Why do men exist ? Because dildos cannot mow the lawn.
☻Why do women not have a penis ? ......... That comes together with
the brains.
☻Why do women have legs ? ...... Otherwise there will be traces of

mucus on the kitchen floor.
☻Why the trolleys were invented ? ........ To learn women to walk on

their hind legs.
☻What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the

garden? ...... Shoot again.
☻Why does one do some peanut butter on his condom? ...... That
makes him big and strong.
☻Why do the number of traffic accidents with stupid blond girls

increase at April 1st? ..... When the traffic light is read they think it is
a joke
☻If Adam and Eve were so beautiful, how come that there are so
many ugly people ?
☻When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is
there a lock on the door ?
☻When you are not supposed to drive a car when you have been
drinking, why do bars have a parking lot ?
☻When swinning is good for the development of our arms and legs,
why do fish not have arms and legs ?
☻Blackmail: "When you do not give me the raise I will tell everyone
you did give me one."
☻The black box of the plane is indestructible, why do they not make
the plane of the same material ?
☻One out of 4 marriages ends in a divorce, what do the other

marriages end in ?
☻How does the driver of a gritting vehicle go to work in the morning

?
☻How do you call a woman who looses 90% of her intelligence

??.................................a widow !!!!!
☻Do they have a coffee break at the tea factory ?
☻Does a liar lies when he says he says he is telling a lie ?
☻What do you prefer in the hereafter?...........Smoking or non-

smoking area.
☻Where are the first 6 up's ?
☻Why does a kamikaze wear a helmet ?
☻Why does an answering machine never gives an answer when I

ask something ?
☻Why do you always find one shoelon the streets ?
☻Why do we call apartements apartements when they are all

connected to one another ?
☻Why can you buy sigarettes in a gaz station where it is forbidden

to smoke ?
☻Why are you behind a computer, while in fact you are sitting in
front of the screen ?
☻why are there life jackets in airplanes and no parachutes ?
☻What do the military do in a civil war ?

☻What is more easy for a man to make, a boy or a girl ? ...........a
girl.....there is an example in front of him
☻What do sheep count when they want to sleep ?
☻What does a butterfly feel when he is in love?
☻What whish would stars make when they saw falling people.
☻Who invented milking cows and what did he think when he started
doing it ?
Daring Messages
☻You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not
like animals!!!
☻I think you are ugly and stupid, You are a real pain in the …... Wait
a moment.... oh no, I do have the right number...
☻Roses are red, violets are blue, when I sense the smell of the
bathroom, I think of you !
☻I do not swear, I do not smoke and I do not drink ! O damned My

sigarette has fallen in my glass of beer ...
☻I wish you lots of itching and short arms.
☻You have the face of a saint...a Saint-Bernard!
☻Will we play the hulk together??.....I will be tall and strong and you
green and ugly!!!
☻If you did not have any feet, would you wear shoes?? ...no... why
do you wear a bra????!!!
☻A fart is a flying planet, created by God and produced by men!
☻Why do men fart more often than women ? Because women do not
keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure..
☻Oké honey, we will try one more time!! How do you spell 'IQ' ?
☻I am born this way, but what is your excuse?

☻I love the sea, I love the rocks, but when I see you I need to puke !
☻Some people die. Others become a teacher...
☻The more the merrier. The more women, the more prettier.
☻Women are just like frogs. They have a big mouth and are scared
of the stork.
☻If I ever die because of marihuana, mark on my grave, I am too

stoned to get up!!
☻When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play
with boys!!
☻You know when you are really too fat? When you are on the beach
and Greenpeace carries you back to the sea.
☻When are you really full of confidence? .............. If you fart having
diarrhoea.
☻Roses are red ... Violets are blue ... but a face like yours belongs in
the zoo !!!
☻On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and

wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
☻Nice hair, a shame that you sit on it.
☻Roses are red violets are blue, shit stinks and so do you!
☻He kisses her gently on the lips. She does not feel comfortable,
squeezes her legs, and so his glasses broke.
☻A woman is a marvellous creation, she produces milk without

eating grass, she bleeds without being hurt, gets wet even when it
does not rain and sucks without needing power.
☻It is red and it taps on the window .................... A baby in a

microwave.
☻I like your style ... I like your class ... but most of all I like your ass
True Love Messages
☻i wish i was ur blanket,i wish i was ur bed, i wish i was ur pillow
underneath ur head,i wanna b around u,i wanna hold u tight, & b the
lucky person who kisses u goodnite
☻Uve won my luv now I luv u.This heart of mine I give 2 u.So keep it
safe as i have done.For u have 2 and i have none!
☻i dont have the measels, i am not confined to bed, asperin wont
help coz i aint my head, i dont have back ache or the flu, its more
serious...i am missin u!
☻Ull always be mine 4 now & 4ever.Ull always be mine 4 u r my
treasure.Ull always be mine please tell me its true.Please be mine
4ever ill always luv u
☻There are Tulips in my garden,there are Tulips in the park.but
nothing is more be beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark!
☻I love 3 things! The sun, the moon and U! The sun for the day, the
moon for the night and you forever!
☻if i died or travelled far, i'd write ur name on every star,so everyone
could look up & see, dat u mean the world 2 me
☻Wantin u is easy missin u is hard.Wishin u was wiv me wrapped
up in my arms.Constantly think of u wen we r apart.Ive got the
padlock u hav the key to my heart
☻How can u tell the rain not 2 fall wen clouds exist?How can u tell
the leaves not 2 fall wen the wind exists?How can u tell me not 2 fall
in love wen u exist?
☻Accidents do happen.i slip- i trip- i stumble- i fall & usually i dont
care at all.but now i dont know what to do cos i slipped and fell in
love with u
☻Love is like a golden chain that links our hearts together and if you
ever break that chain youll break my heart 4ever!xxx
because I did it and I found you
☻True luv is hard 2 find.Special 1-1 of a kind.But the luv inside of
me is true.It appeared the day i met you!
☻It takes 2 to tango.2 to kiss.2 to talk & remenisce.so many good
things cum in 2 & one of those things is me & u!
☻U say u luv me & want 2 hold me tight.those words run thru my
head day & nite.i dreamt u held me & made me see dat 4ever 2gether
we wood be!
☻1000 words 1 cood say.1000 wishes 1 cood pray.1000 miles legs
cood walk.1000 sounds a mouth cood talk.1000 times ill b true.1000
ways 2 say i luv u!
☻Ive got ur bak & uve got mine.ill help u out netime.2 see u hurt 2
see u cry.makes me weep & wanna die.ill b right here til d end.cos ur
my luv & my bestfriend
☻You can fall from a bridge, you can fall from above, but the best
way of falling, is falling in love!
☻There are 3 steps to happy happiness: 1 you. 2 me. 3 our hearts 4
eternity!
Wisdom Messages
☻A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things.
☻life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might
miss it
☻Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly
☻Love ur enemys... It really ticks them off
☻If you don't Stand for Something.You will Fall for Everything
☻da poorest man on earth is not da 1 without money, but is da 1
without a dream
☻To the world you may be one person but to one person you may
be the
world
☻It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what your not
☻Be yourself, there are enough other people
☻dont frown,you never know whos falling in love with ur smile
☻if u can stay calm while every1 else is goin mad ... u probably
havnt completely understood the situation!
☻FRIENDS are like stars…you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you
know they are always there!..
☻A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A
Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever
☻Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself.Reach out and tell sum1 wot they
mean 2 u coz when u decide its the right time it might b 2 late!
☻Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2
close ur eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest thing 2 do is to
let go wen u want to stay
☻What do you do when the only person who can stop you crying, is
the person who makes you cry in the first place?
☻You might regret what you do- but you'll you regret what you don't
do SO much more
☻2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin.2 let go is to learn theres
sumthin beyond.2 let go means acceptin reality.2 let go is lovin more
coz u only want the best.
☻If you are the flame you can't be burned
☻Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is
why we call it the present!
☻Intelligence is like a river. The deeper it is the less noise it makes
☻The virtue of love isnt finding the perfect person, but by loving the
imperfect person perfectly.
☻If love isnt a game then why are there so many players?
☻u luv coz u weep.u weep coz u hurt.u hurt coz u fail.u fail coz u
try.u try coz u need.u need coz u want.u want coz u feel.u feel coz u
live.u live coz u luv
☻have u eva notcied a heart is two upside down teardrops
☻they say true love is just round the corner i must be walking in
circles
☻Luv is like a glass. If u break it, it’s hard to fix, And even if you
manage that , it’ll never be the same.
☻People say dat wen luv comes knocking on ur door let it in.But
sumtimes luv comes through a backdoor & by the time u notice its
on its way out.
☻God gave u 2 legs to walk.2 hands to hold.2 ears to hear.2 eyes to
see.But why did he giv u only 1 Heart? Probably because He wants
you to look for the other
☻Some thoughts are better kept unsaid.some feelings are better
kept to urself.because love has its way of expressing itself despite
the silence.
☻True love doesnt have a happy ending.True love doesnt have an
ending!
☻Love is like a rose it blossoms then dies.
☻Dont find love.let love find you.That's why it's called falling in love
coz you dont force yourself to fall- you just do!
☻If you want me to fall for you- you have to give me something
worth tripping over.
☻love is not how u 4get but how u forgive.not how u listen but how
u understand.not what u see but what u feel & not how u let go but
how u hold on.
☻Love is like quicksand the deeper you fall in the harder it is to get
out
☻It hurts 2 luv sum1 who doesnt giv u d time of day.but it hurts
more wen u realize dat sum1 u dont giv d time of day luved u & gave
it up coz u luved another
☻Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures
the heart
☻love can sometimes be magic- but magic can sometimes be an
ILLUSION!
☻*In Reality*…. The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other
Person...He's Playing Himself...
☻You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see.but u cant
close your heart to things you dont want to feel.
☻the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love. love
somebofy else
☻People Fall in love not knowin y nor how.Its so special a feelin dat
it doesnt require much answers.U just love no matter how stupid u
become.
☻Children playin outside cars can cause accidents.but adults playin
inside cars can cause children by accident!
☻Boys should tell their trousers that it ‘s rude to point
☻be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his
heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another
girl on top
☻Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where
you live when your are old.
☻When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why
isn't he taken?
☻boys r like mascara, dey run on da first sign of emotion
☻while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong
1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1
all along
☻If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on
me.
☻Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks
Miss You Messages
☻My eyes R hurting coz I can't C U, My arms R empty coz I
can't hold U, My lips R cold coz I can't kiss U but, My heart is
breaking coz I'm not with U!
☻i heard someone whisper ur name, but when i turned around to c
who it was, i notice i was alone, then i realize it was my heart telling
me that i miss u.
☻4getn u is hard 2 do, 4gtn me is up2 u, 4gt me not, 4gt me neva,
but don’t 4get, we’re gr8 2gether
☻among ur frens i care 4 u da most, among ur frens i lov u da most,
among ur frens u hurt me d most coz....i know dats all im 2 u...
among ur frens
☻Luv will fly if held too lightly.Love will die if held too tightly.How
should I hold u.How do I know if I'm still keeping you or I'm letting
go...
☻Luv can be bad,it can treat u lik dirt.Theres always a risk of u
getting hurt.Luv is restless & luv is a flirt.Luv has places to go and
people to hurt.
☻It only takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like
someone & a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget
someone
☻i hide my tears when i say your name but the pain in my heart is
stil the same.though i smile and seem carefree theres no1 who
misses u more than me!!
☻Wot u see as truth wot u see as lies remember that true friendship
never dies.although we may change & drift apart,ill always value u
☻I miss u wen ur far away.I think about u every nite & day.Even if we
cant b 2gether.I will miss u now & forever!
☻i luved u once u luved me not.i luved u twice but i 4got.u neva luv
me u neva will but even so i luv u still.
☻Weve gone our own way our lives grew apart & weve made a life
wiv another.but despite of how far apart we grew 2 me there still is
no other!
☻Remember me and bare in mind A faithful girl is hard to find This
is always good and true So dont go changing old for new!
☻i no u think dat u broke my heart but i knew ur game rite from da
start. i saw ur game and played it 2 so look here playa da jokes on u!
☻So btween da miles & btween da years ts inevitable but its true.dat
seasons may change & people may change but my heart always
belonged 2 u!
☻Wen life changes & we go our separate wayz.u will still be in my
heart til my dyin dayz.i tell no lie dis is true.da world has nva seen a
freind like u.
☻I'd climd the highest mountain.I'd swim the ocean blue I'd do
anything at all my dear- Just to get away from you.
☻As we go on we rememba all d times we had 2gether.&as our life
changes cum whateva we will still be "friends forever"
☻Ur the one i love.the one I need.but bad mistakes Ive done
indeed.in search for forgivness and happyness too.I want to say that
I love u
Special You Messages
☻Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u
are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all rolled
into 1
☻I have liked many but loved very few.yet no-one has been as sweet
as u.I'd stand and wait in the worlds longest queue.just for the
pleasure of a moment with u.
☻A special smile a special face.a special someone i cant replace.i
luv u i always will.uve filled a space no one can fill!
☻Girl ur clever girl ur smart.girl ur like a work of art.girl ur sexy girl
ur fine.d only thing u aint is mine!
☻i luv ur eyes i luv ur smile.i cherish ur ways i adore ur style.Wot
can i say?ur 1of a kind & 24/7 ur on my mind!
☻As I lie awake in my bed.All sorts of thought run through my
head,Like why do I love u as much as I do.den I realise its because u
r u!
☻I believe that God above created u for me to luv.he picked you out
from all the rest cos he knew id luv you the best!
☻I love so much my heart is sure.As time goes on I love you
more,Your happy smile.Your loving face No1 will ever take your
place
Kiss Messages
☻A peach is a peach.a plum is a plum.a kiss aint a kiss unless its
wiv tongues.so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue
some exercise
☻Kissing you baby is my dream.Im the strawberry & ur the
cream.Handle me gently keep me real keen.U & i together babes is
passion so extreme!
☻wot kisses mean!KISS ON HAND=i adore u KISS ON CHEEK=lets b
friends KISS ON NECK=i want u KISS ON LIPS=i luv u KISS
ANYWHERE ELSE=...lets not get carried away!
☻Kisses blown r kisses wasted.kisses rnt kisses unless they r
tasted.kisses spread germs and germs r hated.but u can kiss me
baby im vaccinated
Pick Up Lines
☻Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
☻I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went
down on the Titanic
☻I'm good at math, U+I=69
☻I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing,
whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
☻Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.
☻Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...
☻Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't
3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.
☻What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
☻Will you be my Xmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
☻Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
☻You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
☻You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a
perfect square?
☻Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of
buns I've ever saw.
☻Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
☻Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
☻Baicarumba...are those real?
☻Be unique and different, just say yes.
☻Can I flirt with you?
☻Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
☻Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really
kickin.
☻Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm
going to have to ask you to assume the position.
☻Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
☻Greetings and salivations
☻Honey, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to
your house.
☻I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!
☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for
the night?
☻I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
☻If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just
practice?
☻Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
☻That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
☻Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
☻Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour
coordinated.
☻I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just
ate.
☻I wonder what our children will look like.
☻I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick. Wanna help me test the
claim it won't kiss off?
☻If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as
you, I'd have five cents.
☻If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.
☻If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
☻It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?
☻Since sex is a killer, would ya like to die happy?
☻That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
☻The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
☻There gotta be a keg in your pants, coz I wanna tap that ass.
☻There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go
by myself.
☻Was your Father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely
tuned body?
☻You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
☻Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
☻I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
☻Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...
☻I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth
tonight.
☻If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
☻There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're
name.
☻Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the
sky and put them in your eyes.
☻What time do you have to be back in heaven?
☻Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by
an angel?
☻You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
☻You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so
that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.
☻You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
☻You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
☻You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete
breakfast.
☻Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for
you.
☻Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your
eyes.
☻Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
☻Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all
day.
☻Got two nipples for a dime?
☻Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off
you.
☻Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you,
you turn me on!
☻Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
☻I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty
Woman.
☻I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
☻Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's
nothing else like you!
☻You're eyes are bluer than the atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost
at sea.
☻You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!
☻You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
☻Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
☻Do you want to see something swell?
☻Do you work for UPS / ParcelForce? I could have sworn I saw you
checking out my package.
☻Have I seen you before? Oh, yeah, I remember - it was in the
dictionary under the word FANBLEEDINGTASTIC!
☻Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
☻Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this
cheap hotel room across the street.
☻Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
☻I have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
☻If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting
head?
☻If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
☻Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
☻Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.
☻The word of the day is "legs." Let's say we head back to your
place and spread the word.
☻You've been a bad, bad girl (boy). Now go to my room!
☻Your Daddy must play the trumpet, cos he sure made me horny!
☻Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you
with your clothes on?
☻Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
☻I bet you $40 you're gonna turn me down.
☻I know that Milk does the body good, but wow, how much you
been drinking?
☻I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
☻I'm betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that
you get more and more beautiful every day.
☻Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
☻Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn
good.
☻When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and
think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the
day that I met you.
☻Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about
the first thing that pops up?
☻You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: if you treat
me right I'll do it your way
☻You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
☻You know the Power company is looking for you coz you're so
electrifying.
☻You know, I ain't this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.
☻You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I just can't stop ya
☻As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just
touch my ass? No. Damn!
☻I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
☻Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home
with you.
☻Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
☻Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if
yes…) Want some more?
☻Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
☻Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down
my number?
☻Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job?
[No!] Do you want to do lunch?
☻Do you know the essential difference between sex and
conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
☻Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the
room?
☻I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a prince
☻Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a
name to go with the face.
☻Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
☻For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
☻Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
☻Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like
a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
☻Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down;
go ahead say no.
☻Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think
it's time to see if I'm right.
☻Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've
broken the ice, lets talk"
☻Nice dress, it'd look good on my bedroom floor
☻Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate
with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine
sweetheart."
☻I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
☻I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to
see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
☻I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!
☻If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should
answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
☻The only thing that matters is that we're together.
☻I'msorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start. .
☻Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
☻Is you father a lumberjack Because when ever I look at you, I get
wood in my pants.
☻I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to
find your G-spot.
☻Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
☻Say, did we go to different schools together?
☻The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and
spread the word.
☻There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them
off you.
☻Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and
alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say,
"Come on, we're leaving."
☻You see my friend over there? He wants to know if YOU think I'M
cute.
☻You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my
erection.
☻Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes?
☻Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
☻You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and
knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.
☻Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
☻Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
☻I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went
down on the Titanic
☻I'm good at maths, U+I=69
☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
☻Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.
☻Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...
☻Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't
3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.
☻What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
☻Will you be my Xmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
☻Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
☻You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
☻You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a
perfect square?
☻Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of
buns I've ever saw.
☻Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

☻I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
☻Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...
☻I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth
tonight.
☻If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
☻There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're
name.
☻Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the
sky and put them in your eyes.
☻What time do you have to be back in heaven?
☻Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by
an angel?
☻You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
☻You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so
that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.
☻You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
☻You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
☻You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete
breakfast
☻Be unique and different, say yes.
☻Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
☻Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
☻Hi. Are you cute?
☻I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
☻I'm easy. Are you?
☻I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth
tonight.
☻Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have
a weak heart.
☻So....How am I doin'?
☻Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?
☻I think about you when I masturbate.
☻Are we related? Do you want to be?
☻Can you say constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just
wanted to ask.
☻Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee.
☻Do you know how to use a whip?
☻Excuse me, do you live around here often?
☻Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go
with the face.
☻Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
☻Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
☻Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down;
go ahead say no.
☻Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate
with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine
sweetheart."
☻I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
☻I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just
ate.
☻I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
☻I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
☻If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
☻Like the look of your crotch.
☻Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I
was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
☻Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your
hair.
☻Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
☻Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.
☻Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd
love to catch and mount back at my place.
☻Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart
back.
☻How was Heaven when you left it?
☻You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
☻Honey, you give new meaning to the defintion of 'edible'.
☻I think I can die happy now, coz I've just seen a piece of heaven.
☻You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.
☻You should be someone's wife.
☻Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost
mine.
☻You've made me so nervous that I've totally forgotten forgotten my
standard pick-up line.
☻Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give
you notice that I noticed you too.
☻Is your name Gillette? ...coz you're the best a man can get.
☻If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking
through my garden forever.
☻It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Quote Messages
☻To do ist to be (Socrates). To be is to do (Plato). Do be do be do (Sinatra)
☻It's the one who won't be taken, who can not seem to give.
☻It's the soul afraid of dying ... That never learns to live
☻It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change.
☻It's the heart afraid of breaking ... that never learns to dance.
☻Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !
☻Action without vision is only passing time, vision without action is merely
day dreaming, but vision with action can change the world - Nelson Mandela
☻Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last!
☻Don't drink and drive home!! Take a joint and fly home!!
☻Home is where the heart is born, lives and dies but still goes on !
☻Stoners live and stoners die, but in the end we all get high. So if at first you
don't succeed, fuck this world and smoke some weed.
☻If you really wanna get stoned, drink wet cement.
☻Shit happens, life goes on!
☻Free your mind the rest will follow.
☻Work sucks ... Ladies go to work.
☻A beginning is a very delicate time.
☻Life is what happens when you plan to do other things - John Lennon
☻Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.
☻Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!
☻Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
☻Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them
all yourselves!!
☻Life is like toilet paper, long and usefull !!!!
☻On the toilet: Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit
like thunder!
☻Love is an sensation. Caused by an temptation when an men puts his
dictation in an womens combination. Do u get this conversation or do u want an
demostration
☻All I ever wanted is what others have.
☻Laugh on your one and the world thinks you are an idiot.
☻A kiss that says it all is seldom a first edition.
☻Women have usually nothing to wear and no room to put it away!
☻It is better to be fair than to be popular!
☻The strongest musle of the human body is the tongue.
☻Time is something that makes sure that everything does nog

happen at the same moment.
☻Life is not short, it is being dead that lasts such a long time!
☻I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well.
☻I see things the way they are and say: Why? .................. I dream of
things that never were and say: Why not?
☻Life is what happens when you plan to do other things -- John

Lennon
☻copernicus said:"men with dick in peanutbutter is fucking nuts."

☻Law of Murphy..... Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong
sooner or later......Murphy was an optimist.
☻It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
☻A lot of people are in pain out of fear to be happy
☻A lot of people were never happy because they thought it had yet
to come.
☻A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.
☻I want to die sleeping, just like my grandfather ..... Not yelling and
screaming like the people on his bus.
☻He said:"I thank you for the wonderful talk." ... I had only been
listening.
☻When your youngest child needs sex education, you have badly
informed your elder children on the subject.
☻The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be
friends.
☻The present is just as mysterious as the future.
☻People who do not want to be disturbed, usually already are

disturbed.
☻You can close your eyes for certain facts, but not for the
memories.
☻Friendly words do not have to be long, the echo never dies.
☻Woman know that they are not that pretty any more when they
have nothing to wear.
☻What do you have to do when you fall into a river with a sign
"Forbidden to swim?"
☻Be yourself, there are enough other people.

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☻SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED

☻ MEMORY LASTS FOREVER

☻NEVER LOSE TRUE FRIENDS

☻ WITHOUT A FRIEND LIKE U

☻ NEVER LOSE ME!

☻ WHAT YOU SAY

☻ ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU...

☻AS LONG AS....

☻ FRIENDS LIKE HAIR

☻ WASTING YOUR TIME

☻23 useless things in a man's body

Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat

Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless

What is the difference between blondes and traffic

This is your mobile operator and we just found out you

☻YOU ARE WANTED

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☻TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

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☻Cat & Rooster

☻How to satisfy a woman

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☻Love & War

☻Virginity is like a balloon

☻Men like toilets

☻5 bad things to say to a naked guy

5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY

☻Mary had a little lamb

☻Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater

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☻How many letters

☻Foot and Mouth

☻Blonde Womens legs

☻Sex is like Maths

☻Ba Ba White Sheep

☻News Flash - Indian Earthquake

☻Little Miss Drugy

☻Dear Mammy love annie

Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....

The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...

☻Red Riding Hood

☻Fuck for money

☻5 reasons not 2 b a penis

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☻3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock:

☻Cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster

☻There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?

☻Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u

☻HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil,

☻Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!

☻Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy

☻Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!

☻little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame

☻This is acock sucker detector

Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....

The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...

☻Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?

☻ GLOW IN THE DARK