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Application

Application

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Published by Rue St. Michel

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Published by: Rue St. Michel on May 09, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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05/18/2012

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Application For Side-broad
 (aka:
Side-piece, Badge Bunny, Star Chaser 
)
Please answer the following questions as honestly as you can. By signing this application you agree to only contact the officer via thecell-phone number provided and to meet at pre-arranged locationsand times. The applicant understands that there will be long periods of non-communication from the officer, and agrees to the following:
 
You will not show up at said officer's home, residence or place of work without informing the officer of your intentions
 
You understand that this may be a solitary sexual encounter withsaid officer, and does not constitute any type or form of commitment by said officer.
The said officer may not be available on major holidays where primary family commitments may take precedence. These include but are not limited to Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day and the 4
th
of  July 
.
The officer will take prophylactic precautions during the sexual encounter(s) but you agree to be held responsible for any offspringgenerated during said sexual encounter(s).
The said officer does not guarantee the length of time he will be ableto spend with the applicant during the aforementioned encounters.
 
The applicant understands that any spontaneous exclamations of love, caring and commitment during the sexual act do not hold theofficer liable to the applicant in any way or form.
 
First name onlyLess than 30 yoa?
(If no, do not completeapplication.)
Hair Color / Eye Color / ComplexionHeight:Weight
(If over 200lbs see specialinstructions. You may qualify for a drunkenbooty call ONLY.)
Bra size (ie. 36, 40, 44)Cup size (ie. C, D, DD)Have you had breast augmentation?Do you have all of your original teeth?
(If no, your case will be reviewed onaesthetics.)
Marital status
(If married, please includethe district/precinct in which your spouseworks.)
 
Sexual orientation (bi-sexual femaleswill receive priority.)Level of education:No more than 6
th
gradeHigh schoolCollege degree (2 or 4)PhD
(You may not qualify for side broadstatus.)
 Ethnicity:
Polish, Mexican, Puerto Rican orWhite?
 
(Please select only one.)
 Current job
: (select each one that applies)WaitressBar-tenderDomestic violence victimCoffee shop (barrista)Baby-mamaPolice officerCashierStudentAttorney
How did you meet said officer?
Domestic violence victimTraffic stopI'm the Waitress who served himI'm the Bar-tender who served him.He came to my house after I called 911.He works security at my high school.I was arrested by this officer.We are police officers in the same district/precinct.I'm an attorney and met this officer in court.
Please list medications that youcurrently take:Antipsychotics?
(If yes list all.)
Moodstabilizers?
(If yes list all.)
Anxiolytics?Have you ever been adjudgedincompetent, criminally insane or beenconvicted of a felony?
(List all that apply.)
Have you ever "stalked" an ex-
 
boyfriend or been charged withtelephone harassment?Have you ever had an STD?
(If so whichone?)
ChlamydiaGonorrheaGenital herpesAIDS
(If yes, the totality of your applicationwill be reviewed before a final determinationis reached.)
Genital crabsAre you looking for a committedrelationship?
(If yes, please note that youwill only be provided with the first name andcell phone number of the listed officer.)
Do you want to have children?
(If yes,please note that you will only be providedwith the first name and cell phone numberof the listed officer.)
Are you available late at night, or earlymornings?Do you live alone?If your room-mate is female, would yoube willing to engage in a
ménage-a-tois
with the officer and said female?
(Ananswer of No will not disqualify you.)
Are you comfortable wearing lingerieduring sex?Are you comfortable wearing high-heelsduring sex?Are you Spermophagic?
(Do you like thetaste of male sperm?)
Are you comfortable engaging in analintercourse if the proper precautionsare taken?
(An answer of No will noteliminate you from being selected.)
Do you have fantasies of engaging insexual acts inside a department squadcar?Do you own a firearm? If yes, is itsecured?Would you call yourself discrete?Have you, or anyone else, referred to

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