and overt recorded playbacks. Typically embodied by phrases and attitudesstarting with 'how to', 'under no circumstances', 'always' and 'never forget','don't lie, cheat, steal', etc, etc. Our parent is formed by external events andinfluences upon us as we grow through early childhood. We can change it, butthis is easier said than done.
Our internal reaction and feelings to external events form the 'Child'. This isthe seeing, hearing, feeling, and emotional body of data within each of us.When anger or despair dominates reason, the Child is in control. Like ourParent we can change it, but it is no easier.
Our 'Adult' is our ability to think and determine action for ourselves, based onreceived data. The adult in us begins to form at around ten months old, and isthe means by which we keep our Parent and Child under control. If we are tochange our Parent or Child we must do so through our adult.In other words:
Parent is our 'Taught' concept of life
Adult is our 'Thought' concept of life
Child is our 'Felt' concept of lifeWhen we communicate we are doing so from one of our own alter ego states,our Parent, Adult or Child. Our feelings at the time determine which one weuse, and at any time something can trigger a shift from one state to another.When we respond, we are also doing this from one of the three states, and it isin the analysis of these stimuli and responses that the essence of TransactionalAnalysis lies. A wonderful analogy -'the person who had feelings' story-explains how experiences and conditioning in early life affect behaviour in laterlife.
The person who had feelings story (transactional analysis, conditioning andbehaviour) - attributed to barbara dunlap
Once there was a very small person who had feelings. They had many feelingsand felt them every day. Their family liked them when they showed theirfeelings, so the very small person started to wear their feelings on their sleeve.One day one of the small person's parents said that they didn't like to see theFEAR feeling any more, so the small person tried to pull it off. The parent saidthat they would give the small person some TOUGH to cover over their FEAR.The small person found it very difficult to cover the FEAR with the TOUGH, sothe other parent and the grandparents all helped. It took many days. "Now you