Rodriguez 1

Gabriel J. Rodriguez

Ms. Ascorbe

English Honors IV Gifted

16 May 2011

How to make a marriage last?

1. Two times a week go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and

companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, He go on Fridays.

2. Always sleep in separate beds. Her bed is in Ontario and mine is in B.C.

3. Take your wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. Ask your wife where she wants to go for your anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a

long time!" she said. So suggest the kitchen.

5. Always hold hands. If you let go then she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There

are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So go buy her an electric chair to match.

7. Your wife tells you that the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.

You ask where the car is and she tells you, "In the lake."

8. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, and “Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said,

"No, jump in!"

9. Remember...Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

10. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.

11. You married Miss Right. You just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. You haven't spoken to your wife for 18 months. You don't like to interrupt her.
 Rodriguez 2

13. The last fight was his fault. His wife asked, "What's on the TV?" He said, 'Dust!"

14. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God

created woman... Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

15. Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.