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What Really Matters in Persuading Folks

What Really Matters in Persuading Folks

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Published by Hal Wechsler

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Published by: Hal Wechsler on May 20, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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1What Really Matters in Persuading Folks?If you want to save time and get to the next thing on your to-do-list, the answer is your Voice.How you use your voice-box makes folks listen intently or go blind to your pitch. This is not inan isolated area of your life; it covers sales (persuading), convincing your Significant-Other of anything in your relationship, and getting out the vote.Who Says SoJose Benki, lead researcher at the University of Michigan 5.16.2011. I believe him because histeam reviewed 1,380 presentations by 100 male and female interviewers. It came down to three(3) criteria whether folks said yes or blew-you-off: speech-rates (fast or slow), fluency (phasing),and pitch (high or low voice).The scientists expected to find that folks who are animated on the phone or in-person, lively,using variation in their voice pitch, would be the winners. Not so. They sound artificial, phony,like TV commercials. Listeners hated them.Men with high-pitched voices were not believed; their deep-voiced colleagues won all the prizesfor credibility. Get this, because it applies to all of us: speaking fast or talking too slow makesthe listener question your brain-power or if you are a con-man.What¶s the right speech-pace? Answer: 3.5 words per second. That makes people comfortable,and they give you the benefit of the doubt and agree with you.No, you are not going to count thewords falling out of your mouth, but you will keep track of too fast and too slow.PausesOrdinary folks pause (shut-up or slow-down) 4-5 times a minute. It is what we are used to, andexpect to hear. Frequent short pauses when you try to persuade, influence or convince, bringshome the bacon. Men or women who are fluent with perfect speech are just not trusted.Too many pauses in a conversation and you sound freaky; too few stops make you sound tooscripted and phony-baloney. Test yourself and you¶ll discover 4-5 stops per minute getyour listeners undivided attention. But what does Dr. Benkiknow, he¶s just the 800 pound gorillain the psychology of language.Is This ImportantMany people are always learning, and never acting. Changing your Attitude is controlling your life because changing your mind requires you to change your behaviors (acting).Strengthen your desire and you are motivated to change your actions. Any diet will help you lose20-pounds; but which diet program motivates you to start and continue? Success is takingresponsibility for your reaching your goals. The buck stops here - in your head.
2Tiger Mother EffectShort and sweet, it aint bias or prejudice when it is a researched fact. Asians students get higher grades and win more scholarships than their fellow students. How come? Answer: Asian studentsstudy twice as many hours weekly as their counterparts. It accounts for everything.My Mother Made Me Do ItThey call them Tiger Mothers, and they lay down the rules for their children. They don¶t want to be loved, but respected. Asian kids in the U.S. are disciplined for academic success, not for having fun. They are taught they must bring home ³A´ grades, and less is a sin.Their job is academic success and music lessons, and not sports, video-games or sleep-overs.When Western kids are not reading over the entire summer, Asian children are engaged in dailylessons. Guess which group wins the prizes in college and graduate school?Hard Numbers Non-Asians spend 5.5 hours a week on homework and studying, while Asian kids learn anaverage of 13 hours weekly. Does it really matter? They produce the grades and grab thescholarships, and are prepared for college and graduate school.What ElseThey are better prepared for successful careers, where they win promotions and raises way out of  proportion to their own numbers and the competition.Shanghai, China, Japan, and Korea produce the best learners on the planet. The only non-Asiancountry in the winner¶s circle is Finland. Now WhatWe need American Tiger Mothers who with fathers, will lay down the rules for academicsuccess. Will the U.S. be a second-rate power in the next twenty-five years because the nextgeneration is engaged in cheering their football team or playing video-games five-hours daily?Late StartersAmericans have always used the excuse they enjoyed childhood and their school years, andcaught up later to be world class scientists and academics. Bull.Americans are specialists in being entrepreneurs, not scholars. The best thinking in this area is byScott Adams, the writer of Dilbert cartoons. He called us ³B´ students, and recommendsAmericans be trained for business, and not take physics, math, and Shakespeare.Americans Should Specialize

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