The True Story of the Three Little Pigs
itch.
CHARACTERS: (8) Narrator 1 Narrator 2
Pig 1
Pig 2 Pig 3 Wolf Puppy Cat
WOLF: Everybody knows the story of the Three
Little Pigs. Or at least they think they do. But I'll let
you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real
story, because nobody has ever heard my side of the
story. I'm the Wolf. Alexander Brian Percival
Wolfric John T. Wolf. But you can call me Al.
NARRATOR 1: No one knows just how this whole
Big Bad Wolf thing got started, but it's all wrong.
NARRATOR 2: Maybe it's because wolves eat cute
little animals like bunnies and sheep and pigs.
That's just the way they are. If cheeseburgers were
cute, folks would probably think people were Big
and Bad, too.
NARRATOR 1: But the whole Big Bad thing is all
wrong.
NARRATOR 2: The real story is about a sneeze
and a cup of sugar.
NARRATOR 1: Way back in Once Upon a Time
time, our friend, the wolf, was making a birthday
cake for his dear granny.
NARRATOR 2: He had a terrible sneezing cold.
NARRATOR 1: He had ran out of milk. So he
walked down the street to ask his neighbor for a cup
of milk.
NARRATOR 1: Now this neighbor was a pig.
NARRATOR 2: And she wasn't too bright, either.
NARRATOR 1: She had built her whole house out
of straw.
NARRATOR 2: Can you believe it? Who in his
right mind would build a house out of straw?
NARRATOR 1: So the Wolf called.
WOLF: Awooh! Little Pig ... Little Pig, are you
in?
1ST PIG: Go away wolf. You can't come in. I'm
busy chatting with my Pigsters.
WOLF: But all I need is a cup of milk..
1ST PIG: Ugh.. < music: Hello hello bad wolf you
called I can’t hear a thing. I have got no service in
the club you say say. What what what did you say
do you need a cup of milk? Sorry I cannot hear you
I’m kind of busy >
NARRATOR 1: The wolf was just about to head
back home without a cup of milk
NARRATOR 2: That's when his nose started to
NARRATOR 1: He felt a sneeze coming on.
NARRATOR 2: Well, he huffed. NARRATOR 1:
And he snuffed.
NARRATORS: And he sneezed a great sneeze.
NARRATOR 1: And you know what? That whole
darn straw house fell down. And right in the middle
of the pile of straw was the First Little Pig- dead as
a doornail.
NARRATOR 1: It seemed like a shame to leave a
perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw.
So the wolf ate it up.
NARRATOR 2: Just think of it as a big
cheeseburger just lying there.
NARRATOR 1: He was feeling a little better. But
he still didn't have his cup of sugar.
NARRATOR 2: So he went to the next neighbor's
house.
NARRATOR 1: This neighbor was the First Little
Pig's sister. She was a little smarter, but not much.
She had built his house of sticks.
NARRATOR 2: He rang the bell on the stick house.
NARRATOR 1: Nobody answered.
NARRATOR 2: So he called:
WOLF: Awooh! Hey Ms. Pig, ... Ms. Pig, are you
in?
NARRATOR 1: Scaredy Ms. Pig told herself:
2ND PIG: Oh My Pork, it’s the big bad wolf. If I
answer him, he might eat me.
NARRATOR 2: But the wolf called again:
WOLF: Hey Ms. Pig, do you have a cup of milk
there?
2ND PIG: < music: And I am telling you, I’m not
going.. You’re the bad wolf, I’ve always known.
There’s no way I could ever go. No no no no way,
no no no way I’m giving you this milk. I’m staying,
I’m staying. And you, and you, and you, you’re
gonna leave me.. >
NARRATOR 1: But the wolf had grabbed the
doorknob when he felt another sneeze coming on.
NARRATOR 2: He huffed. NARRATOR 1: And
he snuffed.
NARRATORs: And he tried to cover his mouth, but
he sneezed a great sneeze.
NARRATOR 1: And you're not going to believe it,
but this guy's house fell down just like his brother's.
NARRATOR 2: When the dust cleared, there was
the second Little Pig -- dead as a doornail.

WOLF: Wolf's honor!
NARRATOR 1: Now you know food will spoil if
you leave it out in the open. So the wolf did the
only thing there was to do. He had dinner again.
NARRATOR 2: Just think of it as a second helping.
NARRATOR 1: He was getting awfully full. But
his cold was feeling a little better.
NARRATOR 2: And he still didn't have that cup of
milk for his dear old granny's birthday cake.
NARRATOR 1: So the wolf went to the next house.
This guy was the First and Second Little Pigs' oldest
sister.
NARRATOR 2: She must have been the brains of
the family. Because she had built her house of
bricks.
NARRATOR 1: The wolf knocked on the brick
house. No answer.
WOLF: Awooh! Lady Pig,. . . Lady Pig, are you
in?
NARRATOR 2: And do you know what that rude
little porker answered?
3RD PIG: Get out of here, Wolf. Don't
bother me. Don’t you know I’m rehearsing my
voice?
WOLF: But I only need---
3RD PIG: (goes out) WHAT-DO-YOU-WANT-
FROM-ME?
WOLF: I would just like to ask if you have---
3RD PIG: < music: Just shut your mouth, I’m
working my voice.. Just leave me now, I won’t back
you down.. You mess me up, need a second to
breath.. Just don’t come here around, yeah.
Whataya want from me? Whataya want from me?>
NARRATOR 1: Talk about impolite!
NARRATOR 2: He probably had a whole gallon of
milk!
NARRATOR 1: And he wouldn't give the wolf
even one little cup for his dear, sweet old granny's
birthday cake.
NARRATOR 2: What a pig!
NARRATOR 1: The wolf was just about to go
home and maybe make a nice birthday card instead
of a cake, when he felt his cold coming on.
N 2: He huffed. N 1: And he snuffed.
NARRATORS: And he sneezed once again!
NARRATOR 1: Then the Third Little Pig yelled:
3RD PIG: Haha, you think you could blow my
house down? Ha, think again. Oh, and tell your old
granny I would send her my casket gift tomorrow!
Haha!
NARRATOR 1: The wolf was usually a pretty calm
fellow. But when he heard somebody talk about his
dear, sweet old granny like that, he went a little
crazy.
NARRATOR 2: Or maybe, a little too crazy. Yikes!
NARRATOR 1: This time, the wolf was really full.
NARRATOR 2: And then his conscience hit him.
WOLF: < music: If I were a pig, I would give Bad
Wolf milk.. I would give him all he wanted, coz I
know that he’s a really good friend. If I were a Pig!
I would give bad wolf Milk! I would be too kind to
him, I swear I’d be a better pig.. But I’m just a wolf.
>
NARRATOR 1: But then suddenly he thought, why
should he cry? He’s the good guy. And it’s the pigs’
fault.
WOLF: < music: I’m not gonna cry now, for what I
did ain’t bad.. All these pigs have come and gone,
but I’m still standing.. Yeah, all these pigs have
come and gone, but I’m still standing.. Haha >
NARRATOR 2: Just then the cops drove up, with
Inspector Puppy and Officer Meow.
PUPPY: Is everything alright here Mr. Wolf? We
heard a loud noise.
WOLF: Ah, I’m sorry, but who are you guys?
PUPPY: Well, I’m just Inspector Puppy.. And I,
am, your, biggest FAN! < music: I’m your biggest
fan I’ll follow you until you love me, Puppy-
puppyrazzi. Bad wolf you’re so famous, chase me
down until you love me puppyrazzi.. Promise I’ll be
kind, but I won’t stop until this graph is signed. Bad
wolf you’re so famous, chase me down until you
love me, puppyrazzi. >
NARRATOR 1: The wolf was unaware that Officer
Meow already saw the crime scene and is
suspecting the wolf for the broken houses and
missing pigs.
MEOW: You, you, you. You’re a bad, bad, wolf.
And you can’t be tamed!
PUPPY: (shocked) I’m sorry sir, but you’ve left me
no choice

MEOW: Arrest him!
NARRATOR 2: The police officers struggled to
tame the wolf until he finally surrendered was
brought the to jail…
NARRATOR 1: They figured a sick guy going to
borrow a cup of milk didn't sound very exciting to
the public.
NARRATOR 2: So they jazzed up the story with all
that "huff and puff" and "blow your house down"
stuff.
NARRATOR 1: And they told the whole world
about the Big Bad Wolf who blew down three
innocent pigs’ houses.
NARRATOR 2: That's it.
NARRATOR 1: That’s the real story.
WOLF: BUT I WAS FRAMED!
NARRATORS: But maybe, you could lend him a
cup of sugar
WOLF: <music: Mama, I killed a pig.. Blew their
house down in the trash, now I’m guilty and I’m
locked. Mama, life has just begun! And now I’ve
ruined all your dreams for me. Mama, o-ooh-oh. I
don’t wanna die, I sometimes wish I’ve never been
born at all. Carry on, carry on! >
I'm just a poor wolf nobody loves me
He's just a poor wolf from a poor family tree
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let me go (Will not let you go)
Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never,
never, never)
Let me go, o, o, o, o
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me
go
Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for
me, for me!
So you think you can stone me and spit in my
eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to
die
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta
here
[Guitar Solo]
(Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah)

<all: Bohemian rhapsody chorus> Nothing really matters

Anyone can see
Mama I killed a pig Nothing really matters
Blew their houses down the thrash Nothing really matters to me
Now their bodies lie and dead
Mama, life has just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Mama, oooooooh (Anyway the wind blows)

I don't want to die
Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

[Guitar Solo]

I see a little silhouetto of a man

Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the
Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very
frightening me
(Galileo) Me (Galileo) Me, Galileo Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o