The Federal Bureau of In-vestigations is in the midst of amassive crackdown on themembers of the so called "Maid
! 1 f
This group has been connectedin the recent disappearance of theantique chair that has been miss-ing from the chapel foyer in Old
J ' '
Undercover investigator, John.Nee, former captain of the Pitt-sburgh police force, is currentlyworking on the investigation. Ac-cording to Dr. William P. Garvey,president of Mercyhurst, "John isdoing a very good job along withBarb Hanley senior criminaljustice and corrections major."One response for
ap-pointment is because she keeps alow profile hiding in the dishroomunder the
major suspects in thecase: and supposed leader of thegang and eight year member ofBertha'a broom and duster corpsis currently being sought out.
A federal grand jury has in-dicted two "maids" in the heist
were:Mary Collins,admissions counselor and RichLanzillo fellow counselor. WhenMary was asked why she replied"No Comment" and proceededto slam the door in the. reporter'sface. "I really
prospective freshmen to use thefurniture
it looks better inmy apartment," Lanzillo cried ashe was whisked away them by theErie PD.
f |As many as four more may besubjects of indictments in themonths to come
toSpecial Agent George
Garrelts hasbeen one of the conductors of theinvestigation because of thecloseness of the situation of thechapel. Garrelts
toreveal the name of the
hers eventhough "The Star" seems to thinkthey have been linked to the
and Interior Design departments.John (Joannie) Wolper,
knownfor his transexual "Tootsie" lookis one of
suspects.Although nothing has been con-firmed,
people in thedepartment are being investigated
Attire for the
Gang" in-cludes a black smock and pants,with a
to mask. Most can befound sneaking around old Mainwith the usual
rag in hand, and pulling abucket. Anyone
suspicious? maid I
should contactMarshall Lily, security
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone.
just needed the money," a tear-ful Laura Copney, former SACChairperson told "The Star" inan exclusive interview.
W -: s
don't know what came over
me. It was like a compulsion. Themoney screamed, 'Take; me!'Besides, all I could
of wasthe trip John, Christie and I weregoing to take to Grenada."
The money was discoveredmissing from the SAC budget dur-ing a recent
Delaney and her team discoveredmissing, more than
unaccounted for SAC funds,
for every pen-ny," said Christie Smith, SACtreasurer and
keeper. "I also bought a pair of
platform shoes," she added.Spotted recently in the. VirginIslands with unidentified SAC of-ficers, Smith said, "the three of usraised this money through carwashes and pencil and apple sales- it has nothing to do with SAC.""Laura's right," admitted J.Russell Jones, sporting a new
green pleasure suit
five inch black patentleather shoes (borrowed from JimInfantino). "We borrowed it. Wehad every intention of repaying itby selling the new union furniturethis summer. We already? havebids from several buyers.""I
realize we were
wrong, saida penitent Laura Copney. "I planto make up for every penny I have
, J u n i o
Mangold. "It's cases likethese that make the dealth penaltya must." he added.Continued on pg. 6
I just don't feel goodabout
even fitin the radio station anymore,"said Steve Curcio.
"I've been working out atNautilus for 6 months and lost
ounces. See my cute pecs!"
UPCOMING SAC EVENTS
Friday, March 30:
Back by populardemand,Bob Bens
MysticgNight, Aura -billetI readings, BPC, 50'
Saturday, March 31
Cleveland Trip, Sign
Glenmary HomeMissioners, a society of Catholicpriests and Brothers, are offeringopportunities for Catholic men toserve the poor of Appalachia.These volunteer programs willenhance your perception of thosein need. Come and learn withGlenmary. Your choice of week-long sessions is available asfollows: '1
2 buses will be going.Sign up details will
announcedat a later date.
Mr. Fingers is coming!
For more information,
please complete the coupon
Reverend Jerry Dorn, GlenmaryHome Missioners,