Again I got that confused look. “You are not accused of being a homosexual, sir.Your behaviour is very erratic. This court will not be sympathetic if you plead insanity.”“I’m so very confused.”“Let me enlighten you. For most of your life you have been living in
. That is, you have been committing the sin for which the ancient city of Sodom was overthrown. You have enjoyed luxury and excess of food, and yet you haverefused to aid the needy.”“But... but... God killed them because they were gay.”“I doubt God has ever killed anyone for being happy.”“No! They were homos! Homosexuals. That’s why God killed them! That’s whatthe Bible says.”The judge sighed. “You may want to revisit that book, sir. It was the wealth mixedwith the greed of Sodom that overthrew it. That’s what the sin of Sodom is. That’s whatSodomy is. Therefore, you are charged with being a Sodomite.”“I gotta say,” I said. “Shouldn’t you be using language a little more analogically? Imean, everyone thinks that sodomy is butt-sex.”“Fine, you are charged with being a wealthy, blood-sucking brat who complainsthat he didn’t get enough drumsticks in his KFC bucket while most people in the world arenot getting enough calories in their diet to facilitate healthy bowel movements. You arecharged with throwing out food because you don’t like it while babies die because theirmothers cannot eat enough to nurse them. You are charged with defecating in tanks of clean water while children waste away and die of thirst. In brief, the sin of Sodom.”
There’s no subtlety in this story
, I thought.
That’s where the author is going wrong.I get his point, but he’s not going to reach anyone with this heavy-hammer approach.
The judge pick up his papers and put his glasses back on. “The defendant hascommitted the following offenses against the ﬁrstborn son of God: Pretended he waschecking his watch while the son of God was asking for change on the street. Ducked outof a conversation because he was turned off by the son of God’s poor social skills.Employed the son of God in a sweat shop-”“Say what?”