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The Merciad, April 4, 2001

The Merciad, April 4, 2001

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The Merciad, April 4, 2001
The Merciad, April 4, 2001

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THE
STUDENT NEWSPAPER
OF MERCYHURST
COLLEGE SINCE 1929
ENTERTAINMENT
"Cosi
Fan
Tutte,"
anopera Mercyhurst style
page 3
MSG executive board candidate debatesWednesday, April 48k).m.Student Union Great RoomRowingmakes strong
Showing page 8
Vol.
74
No. 18 Mercyhurst College
501
E. 38th
St.
Erie, Pa. 16546
Scarpo pledges
$25,000
to alma mater
By
Annie
DeMeo
Merciad writerBrent Scarpo,
'84
presented
more than one
giftto Mercyhurst College last night.In addition to presenting his documentary
"Journey
to a Hate Free Millennium," Scarposuprised
the
Mercyhurst community
by
unveil-ing a scholarship dedicated to the memoriesof slain University of
Wyoming
student Mat-thew Shepard and Scarpo's mother Betty, whodied of cancer four years ago. Scarpo pledge
$25,000 in
support of
the
scholarship.For the presentation, Scarpo brought JudyShepard, mother of
the
student brutally beatento death, and Randi Driscoll, who performeda song for the film.Scarpo, an independent
film
producer in
Hollywood,
Calif.,
is a Warren, Pa. native. AMercyhurst graduate, he began his presenta-tion by candidly speaking about his bygonedays at the college. He told a story about hisfirst day at Mercyhurst College
21
years ago.On that day he enthusiastically signed up fortheatre courses only
to
find that the major was
no
longer
being
offered.
He satin
Garvey Park,feeling thoroughly depressed about his futurewhen a man came along and listened to theScarpo's precocious complaining. This manbrought Scarpo into Old Main and introducedhimself
as
the president of
the
college.Dr. William P. Garvey told Scarpo that hepromised he would leave the college know-ing how to "read, write, think and philoso-phize."Toward the end of
his
presentation, Scarpoinvited
Dr.
Garvey on stage for a special pre-sentation,
f
I was given a lot here at Mercyhurst, it is
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
file photo
Scarpo (right) is pictured with Randi Driscoll who performed a song for
his
docu-mentary
"Journey
to a Hate Free Millennium."
«c
important for
me to give back because so much
of
who
I am came from my four years here,"said Scarpo. "I knew from the time I was incollege here at Mercyhurst that I wanted togive something back someday, and this wasthe time and the place to do that."
He
explained that
the
Shepard/Scarpo schol-
arship
fund would
be
for
students who are
cur-rently enrolled at Mercyhurst and
are
facing afinancial situation that
has the
potential
to
pre-vent them from graduating from the institu-tion. Scarpo lightly described himself
as a
stu-dent who struggled financially for every mo-ment of
his
college career.Garvey spoke briefly in acceptance of thegenerous gift. He said what was likely on theminds of
all
attendees."The gift you brought tonight was the giftof this
film
and this message," said Garvey.
"We are
extremely impressed with this gift, itis the gift that we will remember."
Qualified candidates vie for
secretary?
and treasurer
By Kate CywinskiMerciad
writer
With many highly qualified candidates run-ning for the positions of Mercyhurst StudentGovernment secretary and treasurer, the elec-tion is likely to be a close one. Elections forthese positions, as well as president and vicepresident, will be held Thursday, April 5 andFriday, April 6 from
11
a.m. to 4 p.m. in thestudent union.Juniors
Annie
DeMeo
and
Jennifer
Yope
arevieing for the position of secretary.DeMeo has served three terms as an MSGrepresentative. During her time as a repre-sentative, she was a residence life committeemember. According
to
DeMeo,
being on
MSGand the residence life committee
has
given hera
lot
of experience that
will
help her
as
secre-tary.As an English major, DeMeo said she hasbeen
able to enhance her written and oral
com-
munication
skills. She is also a MercyhurstAmbassador, another position
that requires
herto possess these skills."I think I would do a good job as secretary,"DeMeo said. "If students want me to repre-sent them, I'm willing to give my time andwork hard."Yope has served on MSG for three termsthis year
as well
as
a
term and a half last year.During her time as a representative, she hasdone work on the MSG Website, chaired thepublicity committee and was also actively in-volved in organizing Fall Fest and the seniordinner dance."I think I'm very organized and deal wellwith pressure and stress,*' Yope said. Sheadded that because of her job at Erie
Insur-
ance and her work
study position
in the
Dean'soffice, she has gained secretarial experience."I want
to be
secretary because I have alreadydone so much and think that it's time to move
up,"
said Yope.Freshmen Erin Cunningham and Dave DelVecchio are competing for the treasurer posi-tion.Cunningham has served three terms onMSG. She said that she has worked with thecurrent treasurer
over the
past
year,
giving herfirsthand experience with the position.Cunningham served as class treasurer allfour years of high school. She was also thetreasurer of her choir during her junior andsenior years. Cunningham
said,
"I really
wantto get student
voices
heard and make
sure
thatthings they
want
to happen get done."Like Cunningham, Del Vecchio has alsoserved three terms on MSG. As an
MSG
rep-
resentative, he has been part
of
the sexual ha-rassment
board,
college senate,
Middle
Statescommittee for technology, constitution revi-sion committee and
the college
services com-mittee,
i
Del Vecchio said, "I have had a lot of expe-rience
in MSG
and
in high
school.
I feel I
havethe leadership, experience and personality tofit the position." He was chief financial of-ficer in
high school and has
been working withthe current MSG treasurer on the pre-audit.
April
4,2001
Academic
Celebration|fbcuses
on environmentalissues
By Julia WanzcoMerciad
writer?
_
Mercyhurst's
longtime tradition of AcademicCelebration,
an
annual event that promotes thesharing of academic research, projects, ideasand discussions among Mercyhurst studentsand faculty,
is
just around the corner.The four-day event will run from Sunday,
Ap4t22
to Wednesday, April
25.
|j
The theme for
this year's Academic
Celebra-tion, Inspired
by
Mercyhurst's Greening of heCampus, is
'What
on earth are we doing?"
*vTo
remain
true to the
theme, all planning andorganization
of
the
event
was done
using
en-vironmentally friendly practices. The major-ity of correspondence between presenters andthe organizers was done through
e-mail.
Allprinting
and
reception supplies were selected
taking
economic
and
environmental ramifica-tions into consideration as
well$A
total of
20
events will be presented overthe four
days$all
of which are in some wayrelated to caring for the earth and its inhabit-ants.Three main events will serve as highlightsof Academic Celebration! Sister Mary Scul-lion
will
present a lecture titled "The Journeyfrom Homelessness to Home," in which shewill address the challenges society must faceto overcome the problem of homelessness.
|A
lecture encompassing the theme of the
event,^George Bandy:"Creating
the GreenCampus,
The
Promise and
the
Challenge," willprovide a chance for those in attendance tolearn more about the campus greening pro-gram
as
well
as
current environmental issues."Green Politics
M
Progressive
Dissent inNorthwesternPennsylvania,"will be a paneldiscussion
in which members
of Erie County'srecently formed Green Party will base theirdiscussion on how many of Mercyhurst's,Erie's and the surrounding region's environ-
mental issues
relate
to the 10
values that serveas a
basis
for the party.Other events include student presentationsof environmental research,
exhibits
of studentartwork, dance presentations and lectures ontoday's politics.Academic Celebration
2001 is an
affair spon-sored
by
the Mercyhurst
College
Honors Pro-gram,
Dr.
Karen
Christensen
serves as
the
fac-
ulty adviser, while sophomores
Jenn Kons
andDanielle Aloshen are
co-chairs
of the event.Junior Katie Krupka also
assisted
with theplanning.
A
complete schedule of events appears onpage 2
of this
issue of The
Merciad.
All Aca-demic Celebration events
are open to both
theMercyhurst and Erie communities. Fundingfor
Acadmeic
Celebration is provided by anAcademic Enrichment Grant.
 
PAGE
2
THEMERC1AD
APRIL 4. 2001
CAMPUS NEWS
News feature: Candidate Q & A
Candidates
agree that student
apathy
isone of
Mercyhurst's
biggest
problems!
What
role do you
think student governmentshould play in
the
Mercyhurst community?Billy
&
Kate:
MSG is
a voice
for
the students.Students elect us to hear their issues,
elay
heir
message to
administration and
keep
them
up-
dated on what is happening. We are a closelink
to the
administration
and
although we areonly a recommending body, the people whomake the decisions respect student govern-ment.Rob & Kristen: MSG is the vessel for stu-dents to voice their concerns* It is our job tostray from the status quo and not act as pup-pets of the administration,
so students can getwhat
they want and deserve. MSG should alsotry to provide students with the best possible
home
away
from
home.
Do you
plan
to make
any major changes toexisting MSG programs
such
as student
fo-rums,
the lecture
series,
shuttle service...?Billy
&
Kate: The
shuttle
service schedule
needs
fixed, but that
will take
time.
We
mightchange the lecture series to bring in biggernames like Capitol
Steps,
which might mean
limiting
it
to
two lectures rather than three due
to
cost.
The Constitution
Revisions
Commit-tee has
 formed
 a Government Task Force tolook
at
other schools
to see how
their govern-ments are set up.Rob & Kristen: We want to make some in-
ternal
changes especially
with
representatives.The changes will help expand the opportuni-ties for
students to
get their
voices
heard.
We
also want
to implement a
eward
 program forMSG
 reps
 as an incentive to get them to re-main
epresentatives
hroughout
the
year.
Do
you have any
ideas
about how to main-tain or enhance
MSG's
relationship withadministration?Billy
&
Kate: Last year, the new executiveboard met
with
Dr.
Garvey
the week after theywere elected
and have
kept
up that open
com-munication, meeting with him once a monthor on
an
as-needed
basis,
but
we
might like tomeet with him every
.two
weeks.
We
have agood
elationship
 with other administrators,such as Dean
Gower
and Mr. Billingsley, as
well as others who are
concerned with the is-
sues.
Mercyhurst StudentGovernment Lecture Seriespresents
Joe Clark
Tuesday,
April
10
. 8 p.m.Mary
D'
AngeloPerforming ArtsCenter
This
event,
originally scheduledto take place on
Feb.
6 was re-scheduled because a snowstorm prevented Clark fromtraveling
 from
 his home in
NewJersey to Erie, Pa.
Rob
&
Kristen: There
needs to be more
open
and
consistent communication between
MSGcommittees
and the administrators they areconnected to. Sometimes the administration
finds
out about things the committees are
working on
through
the
grapevine rather thandirectly from
the
committee, which
can
causeproblems.What
do
you think
will be
your biggest chal-
lenge
as president and vice president of
MSG?
I
i ^
> "
Billy & Kate: Unity is our goal, but to unite
3,000
people and build tradition and spiritdoesn't happen
overnight.
We
might
not see it
next
year,
but
when we
come back
in 10
years
and we see the
tradition
and
spirit,
we'
11
knowwe've
done
our
job.
Rob & Kristen: Trying to satisfy the needsof
all
the students.
It's
not easy
to
always makeeverybody happy,
you
can't
always do
it Thegoal is to make the majority happy. Anotherchallenge will be to maintain a full body ofrepresentatives the entire year. Also, a lot ofadjustments
need to be
made
due to the
largerfreshman classes.
?
|What is the most valuable asset that youwill bring to the position, if elected?Billy: Experience.
This has been a goal
of minesince I entered Mercyhurst
my
freshman year.I see my position as vice president as a step-ping stone. I know what it takesto»be»presi^dent and will continue
my
dedication.
Kate:
I think I bring
a
freshness to the bosi-uon, another perspective. I have been as in-volved
as
possible
as a
freshman
as
well. These
will
be advantages for accomplishing
our
maingoal.
W
Rob & Kristen: Experience, diversity andleadership. We've learned a lot working with
SAC.
Through
SAC,
you meet so
many peopleand
get to know
them.
You have to learn
aboutthe students before you can govern them.What
is
the biggest problem facingMercyhurst?
f jj
Billy & Kate: Apathy and student involve-
ment.
People
just don't go to things and getinvolved. There are so many great things go-
ing on
at Mercyhurst
such as
Fall
Fest,
Spring
Pest
and some of
the SAC
events that many
2001*
Academic
CelebrationiCalendar
of Events
April 22-25
All
timesAll timesApril 23-258
a.m.-5
p.m.All timesAll timesZurn Art Area
Shane
RRInspiration from NatureLogic PuzzledanceSpaceZurn FoyerZurn FoyerSunday
April
221 p.m.
I
Zurn 1143 p.m.5 p.m.Heritage Hall
Zurn
214Dance LivesSharing Psychological ResearchUpdate of
the 1999
Nourishment SandMovement on the Presque Isle PeninsulaApes to Humans: How Big is
the
Jumpand What
Does
it Mean
to You?
The Journey From Homelessness to HomeEvaluating the Benefits of Animal ExperimentationMonday April 23
11:45
p.m. Heritage
Hall
12:30 p.m. HeritageHall4:00p.m.MSG Chambers4:00 p.m.*
Zurn
314
,djfe
5:00 p.m.7:00 p.m.
Zurn
314
Heritage
Hall
What Do We Live
For?What
Do We live
For?The United Nations and International SanctionsCancer and
the
Discovery of Meaning in a
Traumatic
Experience *
I
Who Wants to Be Less Than a
Millionaire?
George Bandy, Creating the Green CampusTuesday April 24
$|
4:00 p.m.
^Sullivan
2
5:00
p.m. Zurn
314
7:00 p.m.Zurn 314Rediscovering America's Political PhilosophyGoing Green Scavenger Hunt Presents!
1
What
on
Earth
Are We
Doing?frj^
Green Politics
-
Progressive Dissent inNorthwestern Pa.Wednesday April 254 p.m. Shane RR5 p.m. Zurn 2148 p.m.
Zurn
214Logic Puzzle
Discussion/Closing
0
IChildren of Tibet: Caught in
the
Crossfireof
War
and PoliticsDiapers, Male Inferitlity, and Social Ramificationsstudents just don't go to, so they don't knowhow great they are. Some clubs are so
inac-
tive as well. In our platform, we suggest en-couraging a different
club to
sponsor
an
eventevery Wednesday night to get them more
ac~
Wet'
C
~
Rob & Kristen: Student apathy. MSG and
SAC,
as well as other
campus
clubs
and
orga-nizations need to work together to
bring out
the spirit of
the
student body.
We
need to in-crease student awareness and involvement notonly
in these
oragnizations
but when it
comesto opinions and problems as well.What is the most positive aspect of Mercy-
hurst?*;
^
|
1
\
Billy
&
Kate:
It's like a home. Expecially forthe two of us who came so far away fromhome* It feels welcoming and safe with sucha
rarmiy enviiUfHiiciw It's *malf*toof
Here,you actually
have
a name. Another positive isthe
administration's role with
the students. Theadministration does listen.Rob
&
Kristen; Definitely
the
students. A lotof people
here
are so friendly. So many peoplejust really
go out
of theirway.It builds such asense of
community.
.{
>}*N«Ai.V.-V-
Lakerilnnf
Nigth Owl" SpecialsAvailable
lOfp.m. toll
a.mSunday-Thursday
-..-.;--
As tuition increases,'
Hurst
students head toHarrisburg to lobby for more financial aid
By Zack VenableMerciad writerIn an effort
to raise both state
funding and fi-nancial aid awareness, Mercyhurst's financialaid department sent three students and an ad-viser
to the state
capital
March
20 to
lobby
formore state funding and assistance.
r
Freshman Abbie Brenoel
and seniors
ShawnBasile
and
Zachary Venable, accompanied
by
student loan coordinator
Julie
Hofmann, ven-tured to
Harrisburg on
behalf of the Associa-
tion
of Independent Colleges and Universitiesof Pennsylvania
(AICUP)
to make a case forincreasing Governor Tom Ridge's proposed2001-2002 higher education budget
S
The students' agenda, along with over 80other
private
schools and universities locatedin Pennsylvania, consisted of
meeting
with avariety of representatives and senators
to
dis-cuss the soaring costs of private education inPenny
si
vania
and
what could
be
done
to lessen
the burden
 for
hose wishing to attend a non-
state college
or university.
-The students
dealt specifically
with six items
included in next
year's
higher education bud-get These six items included the increase ofPHEAA grants and matching
funds,
new
tech-nology scholarships, the higher educationgraduation incentive, higher education tech-nology grants, institutional assistance grantsand addressing
the governor's
proposed bondissue for
sprinkler
installation.The group had the opportunity to talk atlength with two legislators from
the Erie
dis-trict
Senator
Jane Earl 1
and RepresentativeLinda Bebko-Jones. Both discussed the im-portance of earning a higher education andwere very receptive
to the
students'
ideas
andsuggestions.Representative
Bebko-Jones
pointed
out
thatstudents must be attentive to both what tran-spires on their own campus and off.
She
com-mended the three students and
Mercyhurst's
financial aid department for choosing
to lobby
for better state
aid.
I
pp "By making
the effort
to
come
here
to Har-risburg you have shown that you have a
voice
and
that
you
must
be
heard.
Now, if only morewould take
the
ime
o
do
this the
better off allcolleges would all
be,"
said Bebko-Jones.In previous years Catherine Anderson, deanof student development was responsible fororganizing and choosing students for thisevent. This year it was decided that the finan-cial aid department would have theresponsibilty of
making the
students' concerns
heard.
Hofmann said she was delighted to see
students
taking
such an active role
in their edu-
cation and
hopes to
again
make a strong show-ing at next year's meeting.
 
APRIL4, 2001
THE
MERCIAD
PAGE
3
ARTS&
Cosi
Fan
Tutte
invades
'Hurst
By Kristin Elizabeth PurdyMerciad writerFor the opera fans on campus and
those
whoare not opera fans, Cosi Fan Tutte is a must-see this weekend. Mozart's opera has been
contemporized
to
modem
day,
set on
our cam-pus. If you are
worried
about understandingwhat the performers will be belting out, theopera is
in
English,
so we can all
understand.Cosi Fan Tutti (translated as Women are
Like That) revolves
around
a
comic plot basedon mistaken identity and trickery. Two menbet each other that their girlfriends will notremain faithful to them. Each woman pro-claims herself devoted to her fiancee wholeaves town (or campus) and returns with adisguised identity. The men try to persuadetheir lovers to fall in love with their alternate
identity,
in a test of true love (unbeknownstto the women).Characters
will be
dressed in casual clothesand the males dressed in various Mercy hurstathletic uniforms. The
two
leading
men,
Billyand Johnny, are disguised as
*
Hurst soccerplayers when they return to campus to fooltheir girlfriends.Things seem to go in threes for this perfor-mance
— there are three casts
performing
on
a revolving
stage
with
three
sets. The sets in-clude Garvey Park, a dorm room and
a
classroom. Sitting in your seat, the cast and set
Annie Sitter/Merciad photographer
will transport you to the campus outside,while watching Mozart's opera."Its modem setting will hopefully drawmore students
in
(not just
an
opera group) withits casual setting. I think Mozart would havewanted it (the contemporized setting) to bemodernized," said Diane
Kalinowski,
assis-tant director of the opera.The opera will be
on April
6 at 8 p.m. andApril 8 at 2:30 p.m. in the Mary D'AngeloPerforming
Arts
Center.
An
additional perfor-mance will
be
on Saturday, which is open tolocal groups, churches, investors and selectindividuals.
*
Under
the
direction of Louisa
Jonason,
theopera has been described by theater legend
Alfred
Luint as
"a
string of jewels.... Stu-dents
have
been rehearsing
since
January
and
have put long hours into practice these pastfew weeks.
Pianists-fromaround the world compete
The
talents
of
27
young
pianists
from
12
coun-tries on
five
continents will be showcased atMercy hurst this month at
the
25th D'AngeloYoung Artist Competition. The goal of theinternational
competition,
which rotates an-nually between strings,
voice-and
piano, is to
identify
musicians whose talent and poten-tial are likely to lead to major performancecareers.*The competition runs from
Thursday,
April
19
through Saturday, April
21
at the MaryD'Angelo Performing Arts Center.On Tuesday, April 17,
three'former
D'Angelo Competition first place winnerswill take the stage in a special anniversary
alumni
concert.
Pianist Eduardus
Halim,
vio-linist Michael Ludwig and lyric sopranoTheresa Santiago
will
perform
at the
7:30
p.m,concert.
«?
This year's contestants were chosen from afield of 52 applicants who submitted record-ings of their
playing.
Some of the countriesrepresented are Japan, South Korea, South
Africa, Lithuania,
Uruguay and
Canada.
Theinternationally known pianists
on
the panel ofjudges
will be
Jacob Lateiner, Gyorgy Sandor,Abbey
Simon,
Susan Starr and Lorin Hol-lander.Any member of the Mercy hurst community
who
would like to
receive an
invitation to thecompetition should contact Mary
Daly at
Ext.2285.
£ |
Finals in piano will be
free
for President'sCard holders and students.
Movie starring singer
Bjork screens^at
PAC
By
Phil
Movie
criticNext Wednesday, April
11,
at
8 p.m.,
the
PACwill present writer/director
Lars
von Trier'saward winning drama,
"Dancer
in the
Dark.**
The
film
stars world renown singer Bjorkin her
big
screen
debut,
playing
Selma,
aCzech immigrant in
1964
America.Her salvation from working
in a
factory
is
her passion for music, specifically, the all-
singing,
all-dancing
numbers
found in clas-sic Hollywood musicals.
j,
Selma harbors a sad secret: she is losingher eyesight and her son, Gene (VladanKostic), stands
to
suffer
the same
fate
if
shecan't put
away
enough money
to
secure himan operation.
"Dancer in the
Dark,
also stars character
actors
David Morse ('The Green
Mile**) and
Peter Stormare ("Fargo'*). This year, at theCannes Film
Festival,
"Dancer** managed tostun the international
film
industry by win-ning the coveted Golden Palm award
for
bestpicture.Bjork also won the award for best actressand sang the film's Oscar nominated songat this
year *s
Academy Awards.The film is showing at the PAC
next
Wednesday and is free for students. Don'tmiss the award winning film Roger Ebertcalls "a brave throwback to the fundamen-tals of
cinema.**
Summary and other info contributed by
— ENTERTAINMENT
Dinner
and a
movie
Patti'sIPizza
Check, please
By Sara SeidleMerciad writerAs a college student with little more than $7in my checking account, going out to eat isnot something I do often.When I was assigned to write this restau-rant
review,
first
I
assessed my money
situa-
tion and then went straight to the cheapest
restaurant,
besides McDonald's, that
1
couldthink
of
Patti's Pizza.Parti's offers a wide variety of hot or coldsubs that cost between $2.50 and $2.75.If you'd rather have pizza, take your pickbetween a large, with
10
slices or a small with6 slices. A large with cheese is only $5.15.That certainly beats Pizza Outlet or PapaJohn's prices.Now you're probably thinking, with suchcheap prices the food has to be pretty bad.Well, it's not exactly gourmet, but it's good.Their pizza is pretty basic. The crust is kindof
dry,
not the fresh dough style typical ofmany of the chain pizza shops.The subs are good, though. I suggest thecombo with salami, ham and cheese. Theirveggie sub is also great. It's loaded withmushrooms, onions, green peppers, hot pep-pers, black olives and cheese.
In
all, the menuincludes a variety of 15 different hot or coldsubs to choose
rom.
 They all include lettuce,tomatoes and Italian dressing.If you're not in
the
mood
 for
 a
sub,
try
oneof their five salads, either the antipasto,
tur-
key club, turkey and cheese, chef or Patti'svegetable. For the less health-conscious,Patti's has
five
different kinds of
chicken
wings, including
hot, mild,
butter and garlic,
cajun,
honey mustard and buffalo,
as
well asthe
ever-popular
pepperoni balls and pizza
balls.
r
f I
Any Mercyhurst student who has not dis-covered Patti's yet is missing out on one
of
the best ways
to
save yourself
rom
 cafeteriafood or
an
overkill of bagel sandwiches fromthe Laker Inn.Not only does everything on Patti's menufit into a
ight
 budget,
the
restaurant is withinwalking distance from campus, located onPine Avenue across from Arby's and rightbehind the former Antonio's grocery store.
There
is one catch, it's
carry-out
only.
Patti'sdoesn't deliver and there are no tables to eatthere. Now that the snow has almost meltedand the weather is getting
nicer,
it
gives you
an excuse to escape
 from
 your apartment ordorm room to take a
walk
and enjoy theweather.Patti's is open from
11
a.m. to midnightSun.-Thurs. and until 1 a.m. on Friday andSaturday.
Sara Seidle
is a junior
Political
Communi-
cations
major.'
'Tomcats'Ticket stub
By Phil Pirrello
Movie
critic"Tomcats should
be
put
to
sleep.
You
know
a
movie is
in
trouble when Ebert
gives
it zero stars out of four. "Tomcats" isn'tthat bad (at least an eighth of astar),but it isfar
 from
 good...
or funny.The plot: Using the word "plot" for thisbawdy comedy is being kind, for its story is
as
old
as the
lame
1980s
style animated open-ing credits.A group of
players
are terrified that mar-riage may end their bachelor ways. Mike(Jerry
O'Connell)
is the "hero" of the groupwho, with fellow Tomcats, makes a bet thatsays the last one to not get hitched will get$500,000 from a mutual fund they have set
up.
/^
Si
'
Mike's
$51,000
gambling debt forces him
to
trick buddy
Kyle (Jake
Busey) into
marry-
ing Shannon Elizabeth's cop character,Natalie. V
Mike
eventually falls for Natalie and
the
two
...
I've
gone
crossed-eyed.
Not because of he"plot's" wannabe
complexity,
but because ofits
IQ
deficiency.
?
j
I've read nutrition labels with more origi-nality.The
goodr^Director/writer
Gregory Poirierrapidly fires plenty of
gags at the
viewer, rang-ing from a testicular cancer operation with a
twist,
to a hilarious parody of
"Mission
Im-
possible-2," which is the movie's best bit.Poirier's aim
is
way
off
and he
is too
eager
to
please
the
"American Pie"
crowd,
as is
hisyouthful castJerry
O'Connell's
charm
is on
overdrive, buteven he can't escape the cruise control pac-ing and mindless execution of the jokes.
Busey's
raspy overacting makes Joan Riv-
ers
sound angelic.
Beautiful
Elizabeth,
and
the
Is'
other gals, serve as pleasing eye-candy. Acameo by
Bill
Maher
is the
only
funny
actorin the movie.The
bad:
Too many jokes are ripped offfrom funnier movies, like
"South
Park's"Winona Ryder
Ping-Pong
gag. The scene in-volving Mike retrieving half of Kyle's man-hood in a hospital is more disgusting than
funny.
L
Any college guy expecting gratuitous nu-dity can see more on Discovery's
AmazonTribe
specials. 'Tomcats"
teases
and never de-livers, but
thinks
it does.Tomcats'* is the definitive
gross-out
com-
edy.
It makes
us
nauseous
to
the fact
we
actu-ally paid to see it.'Tomcats** is Playing at Tinseltown
dairy
at1 p.m., 3:20 p.m.,
5:40
p.m.,
7:50
p.m. and10:10 p.m.-
:
Phil Pirrello
is a
sophomore English
major
who resides in
Erie.
TheStreet Beat!
MERCYWORLD
Cosi Fan
Tutte—Opera
in the PAC April 6 at 7:30 p.m. and April
8
at 2:30 p.m
1
Karoke: Say What? in the Union
April 6
at
10
p.m.Ballerina
AUegra
Kent — lecture in Mercy Heritage
Room
April
9 at 8
p.m
Joe Clark Lecture in the PAC April
10 at 8
p.m.
AROUND TOWN
College
ID
night at King's Rook
Club April
4 at
9
p.m.The
Sandman—hypnotist
at Jr's Comedy
Club
April 5
"Art"
play at the Roadhouse Theater April at
8
p.m
Tuff—playing
at Sherlock's April
11

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