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040907 - The Secret in My Life

040907 - The Secret in My Life

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Published by: Saralise Antara Nada Azrael (SA NA) on Jun 01, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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The Secret in My Life4/9/07
Okay, so I decided to risk everything and go to see my dad and his wife on Easter! Beingin the vulnerable place that I am at this moment in time, I knew it might be risky. I waswilling to chance it, since my son hadn't seen his grandfather very much in the last year.A year and a few months ago I had to separate/divorce/disconnect (whatever you want tocall it) from my father. I had been wrapped up in reporting to him on a daily basis, thedetails of my life, and him saying things to me like, "What are you going to do?OOHHHH, you are in such a terrible spot!, How are you EVER going to get out of it?"What I finally realized after a couple of years of this, and a good look at what seemed to be the etchings of the remainders of my life, is that I had been giving my power away toseveral different people.I have proceeded in this past year to disconnect from everyone and anyone that was notsupportive of my path and was engaged in living in lack and limitation consciousness. (Anice way of putting it). It meant letting go of all of my long-time friends, some sobriety buddies, my father, the ex, anyone, who was pulling on my energy.I had nothing left.I then proceeded to reinvent my life. I made a decision that if I was going to live on this planet, that I was going to create my life, and not just exist for the sake of existing.So, then there's my dad's beef jerky, something that I missed terribly in the last year, notto mention his guacamole, his salsa, his sauteed mushrooms, his prime rib, with thatspecial horseradish sauce!!!! I had to be willing to give it all up, and risk not ever experiencing these delightful delectables ever again! A hard sacrifice to make. Now, 1 year later, I own my own house, I have an incredible relationship with a man thattotally and completely loves me, a happy son, a phenomenal life really.I was able to watch the relief come over my dad's face, as he was leaving myhousewarming party exactly 1 year and 2 days after I had disconnected from him.I no longer have to engage in worry about my life, because I truly understand that all myneeds are met, always.I chose to trust the Universe and all the Angels, and all the Ascended Masters that wereand continue to guide me. I decided to use the Law of Attraction and work on somethingso BIG that if it happened, it would blow me away!Well, folks here is the story of the Secret in My Life:I was homeless last year, I lost my beautiful apartment, that was entirely too expensive inone the shittiest neighborhoods in North Hollywood, where I could not seem to shake my
Bronchitis for about 3 1/2 months. I was literally dying! My lungs were tired and Icouldn't seem to get up in the morning.On January 8th, the Sheriff came knocking at my door, and I didn't answer.On January 9th, after speaking with the Property Mgmt office, and pleading with them tolet me remove my things myself, the Sheriffs once again arrived.At 37 years old, and a single mom with a 4 year old son, I could not manage to keep asteady flow of income, had the father of my child attacking my verbally every other dayit seemed, and my father telling me I was never going to survive this mess.Wow, what a wake up call that was!!!!When the Sheriff arrived, so did the owner of the building, begging the Sheriffs to bekind and gentle with me, and let me move my stuff, to give me 3 days.The owner of the building told me I had been his favorite tenant and that I had brought somuch light to the building. I couldn't believe it when I saw tears in his eyes. Iunderstood that he couldn't sustain me and I didn't expect him to, I told him that I wasgrateful for his interjection and that I would keep my promise to be out in 3 days. I leftthe place spotless!I then proceeded to stay with several people, until I landed at my friend Matthew's house,someone I knew really cared about me. I finally felt safe. It didn't matter that I was onehour away from all of my friends, my potential work, my son's school. I didn't care, Iwas safe. The thing is, I only had two weeks at his place, and then I had to move again.My storage bill was due, and I almost lost everything. Matthew came to the rescue andsaved the day, paid the bill and took care of it.I literally could not get out of bed on some days. I just needed to recover.Just prior to coming to Matthew's house, I had found the house that I am now living in.Finally I had something to live for, some hope.My best friend of 14 years and I had had a falling out, and there was literally no one leftexcept for Matthew. I didn't have any more friends, they were all gone. It was just meand Jared and Matthew, in a crusty old, roach infested one bedroom in a drug-infestedapartment complex in Buena Park, parked next to the 5 freeway!I had nothing to lose, literally!I decided to go to Agape one Sunday, and invited Matthew to go with me. Jared waswith his dad that weekend.

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