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Published by: elan sudjanamihardja on Jun 01, 2011
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ZAFAF by Elan for group muslimRasulullah (s.a) says: - that one should not stay up at night but for 3 reasons:-1.Reciting the Quran and in Prayers2.In seeking Knowledge3.For Zafaf He (s.a) also said that: -You must dress for your wife just as you would like her to dress for you. ImamMohammed ul Baqir (a.s) says that: - by Dressing up the reference is to cleanliness,meaning that both should be clean.On the night of the zafaf (Wedding night) when the bride and groom enter the room, both should be in the state of wudhu. The groom's supplication on the wedding nightWhen you marry a woman, you should say: O Allaah, I ask You for the goodnesswithin her and the goodness that you have made her inclined towards, and I takerefuge with You from the evil within her and the evil that you have made her inclinedtowards.Supplication before sexual intercourse: In the name of Allaah. O Allaah, keep thedevil away from us and keep the devil away form what you have blessed us with.The Prohibition of Sodomy It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. This is understood from the verse quoted above (i.e. since a "planting ground"can only refer to a place where something might grow), and from the narrations citedabove.There are also other hadith on the subject, among them: First: On the authority of Umm Salama who said: "When the Muhajireen came to Ansaar at al-Madeenah, someof them married women from the Ansaar. The women of the Muhajireen used to lieon their faces (during intercourse), while the women of the Ansaar never did it thatway. Then, one of the men of the Muhajireen wanted his wife to do that. She refuseduntil such time as she could ask the Prophet about it. She went to the Prophet but wasembarassed to ask the question, adn so Umm Salama asked him. Then the verse wasrevealed which says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth whenor how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said: "No! (not any way you wish)Except in one opening! (ie. the vagina)". [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhee and others : Saheeh]Second: On the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas who said: "'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab came tothe Prophet and said: 'O Messenger of Allaah, I am destroyed!' The Prophet asked:'And what has destroyed you, O 'Umar?' 'Umar said: `I turned my mount around lastnight.' (An expression which means he has sexual intercourse with his wife penetrating the vagina while mounting her from the rear.) The Prophet gave him noanswer and when the revelation came and the verse was revealed which says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223] and the Prophet said: "From the front and from the back, just bewareof her anus and her menses". [an-Nasaa'ee in "`Ishratun-Nisaa" with hasan isnaad, at-Tirmidhee and others]. Third: On the authority of Khuzaima ibn Thaabit who said: "Aman asked the Prophet about entering women in the rear, or the entering by a man of his wife in her rear, and the Prohet answered: `Halaal (ie. permissible).' When the manturned to leave, the Prophet called him or ordered for him to be called back and said :"What did you say? In which of the 2 openings did you mean? If what you meant wasfrom her rear and in her vagina, then yes. But if what you meant was from her rear and in her anus, then no. Verily Allaah is not ashamed of the truth - do not enter your wives in their anuses!" [as-Shaafi, al-Baihaqi and others: Saheeh] Fourth: "Allaahdoes not look at one who comes to his wife in her anus". [an-Nasaa'ee: Hasan isnaadand supported in "al-'Ishrah"; at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Hibbaan]. Fifth: "Cursed are those
who come to their wives in their anuses." [Aboo Dawood, Ahmad and others withhasan isnaad and is supported]. Sixth: "Whoever has sexual intercourse with amentruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believeswhat he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad ". [AbooDawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh]. Bathing is preferable Bathing, however,is preferable to merely making wudhuu' in such situations. Abu Raafi' narrates: "Thatthe Prophet made the rounds of all his wives one night, bathing in the house of eachone. He (i.e. the narrator) asked the Prophet : "Couldn't you have just bathed once (i.e.at the end)? The Prophet answered : "This way is purer, cleaner and better". [AbooDaawood, an-Nasaa'ee: Hasan in "al-'Ishrah", and others]. Making Wudhuu' between2 acts with one's wife When a Muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife inthe legal manner and then wishes to return another time, he should first performwudhuu', based on the statement of the Prophet : "When one of you comes to his wifeand then wishes to return another time, let him perform wudhuu' between the 2 times(In another version, the same wudhuu' which he performs for prayer) for verily, it willinvigorate his return."[Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaibah and others]. Making Tayammum in astate of Janaba instead of Wudhuu' It is also permissible to make Tayammumsometimes instead of wudhuu' before sleeping. This is based on a hadith of 'Aa'ishahin which she said: "When the Prophet was in a state of janaba and wished to sleep, heused to make wudhuu' or Tayammum." [Al-Baihaqi: Hasan] Bathing before Sleepingis Perferable Bathing however, is perferable to any of the above-mentioned possibilities as is clear in the hadith of `Abullaah ibn Qais who said: "I asked 'Ai'ishah: "What did the Prophet do when in a state of janaba? Did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?" She answered: "He did all of those things. Sometimes he batheand then slept. And sometimes he performed wudhuu' and then slept." I said: "Praise be to Allah who made things flexible.""[Muslim, Ahmad and Abu `Auwaana]. TheProhibition of sex when She is Menstruating It is forbidden for a Muslim man to havesexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. This is clear in thefollowing verse of the Qur'an: "They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: Theyare a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do notapproach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye mayapproach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allahloves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pureand clean." [Al-Baqarah, 2:222] There are also hadith about this, among them: First:"Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in thatwhich was revealed to Muhammad ." Second: On the authority of Anas ibn Malik,who said: "When one of their women has their period, the Jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, drink, or sleep with her in the house. The Prophetwas asked about this, and Allaah revealed the verse: "They ask thee concerningwomen's courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women intheir courses, ... Then the Prophet said: "Be with them in the house, and do everythingexcept for intercourse itself." The Jews said: "This man wants to leave nothing whichwe do without doing something different." Then, Asyad ibn Hudair said: "OMessenger of Allah, verily the Jews says such-and-such, shoudl we not then havesexual intercourse during menstruation?" The Prophet's face changed such that theythought that he was enraged with them, so they left. As they were coming out, theysaw a gift of milk being brought to the Prophet . The Prophet then sent someone after them to give them a drink of milk, so they felt that he was not actually angry withthem." [Muslim, Abu 'Auwaana and Abu Daawood]. Question : islam teaches us
everthing..as to how to eat , dress, etc...is there also a Sunnah way of sleeping withone's wife.is any position Sunnah ..or is there nothing in Saheeh Hadith with regard tothis? Answer : Praise be to Allaah. Yes, you are right: Islam teaches us all things andhas brought all good teaching to mankind concerning their livelihood, religion, livingand dying, because it is the religion of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explainand to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam connects it to a righteous intention,supplications (adhkaar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessingsof Allaah be upon him) explains this. Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercyon him) says in his book Zaad al-Maaad: Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance,whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and itmay fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes: The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reachthe number of souls that Allaah has decreed should be created in this world.Expulsion of the water (semen) which may cause harm to the body if it is retained.Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying physical pleasure. This alone is the featurethat will be present in Paradise, because there will be no producing of offspring there,and no retention which needs to be relieved by ejaculation. The best doctors suggestthat sex is one of the means of maintaining good health. (al-Tibb al-Nabawi, p. 249).And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Among its benefits is that it helps tolower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haraam things, andachieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regardto this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too. Hence the Prophet (peaceand blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with hiswives, and he said, In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me.(Narrated by Ahmad, 3/128; al-Nasaai, 7/61; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim). Andthe Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/92; Muslim, 1400). (al-Tibb al- Nabawi, 251). Among the important matters which should be paid attention to whenengaging in intimate relations: Having the sincere intention of doing this thing onlyfor the sake of Allaah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one's wifefrom doing haraam things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as toraise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known thatone will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure andenjoyment in it. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allaah (peaceand blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: In the sexual intercourse of any one of youthere is reward (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, OMesenger of Allaah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Do you not see that if hewere to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in ahalaal manner, he will be rewarded. (Narrated by Muslim, 720). This is the great bounty of Allaah towards this Ummah; praise be to Allaah Who has made us amongthem. Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. TheProphet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to play with his wives andkiss them. When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: Bismillaah,

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