Is Fake Really

Better?
June 2, 2011 By Tom Matlack 21 Comments

"Eternal Idol" by Rodin, Fogg Museum of Art

1
What does the rapid increase in
breast augmentation say
about all of us?

A few weeks ago we ran into a relative who had been

going through a difficult patch in her life. What I saw
made my heart sink. Our relative had gotten breast
augmentation surgery since the last time I had seen
her. For whatever reason it just smacked me in the
face because I had thought she was such an
attractive woman—she carried herself with the kind of
grace that makes a person look even more beautiful,
not less, with age. So it really upset me that she had
felt the need to change herself and, in my view, look
less real and frankly to my eye less attractive.

This set my mind off: What the hell is going on in our

country that women think they need fake breasts to
be okay with their bodies? What does that say about
women? What does that say about men? And what is
going on with gender when fake is so much more
adored than something real?

2
 ♦◊♦
While some experiments with breast augmentation
date back to the 19th century, the first widespread use
was during the 1940s, when Japanese prostitutes
began to have their breasts injected with substances
such as paraffin in the hope that American
servicemen stationed there after the war would favor
them with larger breasts.

Fast-forward to today. Over 300,000 women and

teenage girls underwent surgery last year to have
their breasts enlarged with silicone or saline implants,
and more than 80,000 more had reconstruction after
being treated for cancer. According to Diana
Zuckerman, president of the National Research
Center for Women & Families, the number of
cosmetic implants has tripled over the last decade.
And 40,000 with implants underwent removal last
year.

"Fire & Ice" by Pablo Solomon

3
 ♦◊♦
The CEO of a chain of strip clubs told me that 90
percent of his dancers have breast enhancements.
But, he said, “It is more about the stripper building her
self-confidence and feeling good about herself, and
less about the demand from the customer. Usually if
the girl is unhappy with the size or shape of her
breasts, she will opt to have implant surgery to be
better able to compete with the other entertainers in
the industry to make more money.”
I asked him about the women who get what appear to
be particularly grotesque large implants and the
motivation behind that. “Feature entertainers are
performers who have established themselves in the
industry by appearing in adult magazines and films,
therefore receiving credits. They are paid to travel to
gentlemen’s clubs to perform as a headline
entertainer on stage. Since they really need to stand
out from the ‘house dancers,’ they usually opt to go
larger than normal.”
♦◊♦
I asked a bunch of guys what they thought about
breast implants in order to get a random sampling of
what men really think.

John is a 46-year-old business owner who has lived in

Las Vegas for 21 years, and a self-admitted “breast
snob.” He has watched the dramatic increase of
breast implants in Vegas and, from talking to other
guys, believes he is in the minority—but he is a strong
proponent of natural breasts. “To me it’s all about the

4
way real breasts look, move, and especially how they
feel,” he told me. “I mean, with my girl on top, real
boobs swaying and bouncing, life is good! While fakes
may look great to fill out clothing, they just don’t look
right naked.”

Of the guys I talked to, in fact, a majority asserted that

they found natural breasts more attractive than
breasts that had been surgically augmented. Men
who spent a lot of time in strip clubs or watching porn
more often admitted to liking enhanced breasts. Like
a 26-year-old acquaintance in New York said of fake
breasts, “They look better, feel better, and you can
have more fun with ‘em!” His theory, beyond just
finding the larger, artificially enhanced breasts sexy, is
that a woman who has surgery actually
has more confidence in herself, opinions be damned.
In his mind, breast enhancement shows a woman
cares about her appearance.

Dave, 52 and from St. Louis, has spent plenty of time

in strip clubs. He disagrees; he has always looked for
women with natural breasts. “Even if they were
petite,” he tells me, “I sought their attention and gave
them mine over some gal with big, hard, stretched-out
fake tits. Those are the worst. Why did I go? I love
looking at women and enjoyed receiving their
attention. The feeling of a naked or near-naked
woman in your lap is never a bad thing in my book.
My taste in porn is the same as in a club—I am
consistent. I hate bad, big boob jobs. I also do not get

5
turned on by big, hanging, natural udders.”

Then there are men like Bob in Buffalo, New York,

whose wife has one real breast; the other was taken
in a mastectomy due to breast cancer. His wife’s
breasts were small, and in order to get the unaffected
breast to match the breast that was removed she
would have had to have enhanced both breasts. The
surgery sounded so grueling to them that she opted
not to have it. “I think it’s very sad that so many
women are getting breast implants,” Bob told me.
“Regardless of what people think, it is a horrible
surgery. I think most women are mistaken in their
belief that it makes them more attractive and it
saddens me that they are wasting their time, money,
and risking their health for something that I don’t think
is true.”
♦◊♦
Jenna T. is a 25-year-old senior account executive at
a public relations firm. She has always had a tall and
lean body type which, she told me, “is wonderful, but I
unfortunately was not blessed with breasts, so I have
always felt disproportional and self-conscious about
having nothing there.”

After extensive consultation with her mom, who she

calls her best friend, and her sister-in-law, Jenna
decided to have sub-glandular silicone breast
augmentation last month. “I am unbelievably happy. I
feel more confident, and finally fit into my clothes,”
she reported afterwards.

6
Jenna spoke eloquently about how important it is to
feel good in your own skin and how she thinks that if
there is anything holding you back from being
confident and happy, there’s nothing wrong with
changing it—with or without plastic surgery. She
admitted that some male perceptions of the perfect
female body include big boobs, but she maintains that
she got her surgery for herself and only herself.
“I certainly do not believe in the ‘perfect body,’ nor do
I think it’s necessary for women to get a breast
augmentation solely for attention; however, if it is
something that will make you a happier person inside
and out, I don’t think women or men should be
judgmental about it.”
♦◊♦
Pablo Solomon is a 63-year-old sculptor of some note
who has been studying women’s bodies now for four
decades, in his studio just north of Austin, Texas. He
is internationally known for his drawings and
sculptures of dancers, many of whom are nude.

“I prefer available,” he jokes when I ask him about his

preference in breasts. But he goes on to tell me that
he is finding it harder and harder to find women with
real breasts who do figure work, which is his strong
preference.

“As an artist,” he says, “I look for models who exhibit

a variety of looks. Some of my favorite models have
small breasts. The look that I want is for the model to

7
be fit and balanced with that something special, which
is often hard to define.”

Pablo has been married to the same woman for 35

years, a model and then account executive for Diane
Von Furstenberg, Revlon, and Ralph Lauren. She did
a lot of swimwear and lingerie modeling and had
always had “great legs, an hourglass figure and
perfect butt” according to Pablo. Her breasts are real.
She not only has hired many models as an executive
but also has always gotten the models for Pablo. “She
will tell you that even the women who are born
absolutely beautiful often have poor self-images. I
have had art models who were virtually perfect but
ruined their balance by over doing the breast size,”
Pablo says.

Pablo does commissions for elite clientele, often men

with mistresses. Almost all of these women have fake
breasts. One major big shot for whom Pablo created
sculptures sent all his mistresses to the same plastic
surgeon to be molded into identical clones, with
outrageous breasts for their slim figures. This always
makes him sad.

“To me,” he says, “attractiveness stems from the

woman being fit, with poise, good posture, a balanced
look and yes—a fun personality.”

8
 "Nude Figure Study" by Pablo Solomon
♦◊♦
Grace Gold, 28, author of a book titled The Boob Job
Bible, is a journalist covering the beauty industry.
Jene’ Luciani, 33, is a well-known style correspondent
and author of The Bra Book. Both have had breast
augmentation. They are both experts in female beauty
and style in general but have faced the issue of breast
surgery in their own lives for different reasons.

Grace was a competitive figure skater throughout her

childhood and teenage years. She had a strong sense
of self and healthy relationships with boyfriends, but
from a young age she was inspired by the glamour
and femininity of old Hollywood. “I’ve always
surrounded myself with images of beauties from that

9
golden era, from Marilyn Monroe to Jane Russell to
Sophia Loren,” she told me.

Even though she felt like there was nothing wrong

with her 34B cup, she dreamed of something different
for ten years before she had 310 cc of volume added
when she was 25. “I said to myself, ‘You only have
one life to live. Why not just do it?’”

Jene’ always had a “dirty little secret” she hid below

her shirt. As a teen she developed tubular breast
syndrome, “something that you don’t often hear about
but that’s quite common in women,” she told me.
“One of my breasts was over a cup size smaller than
the other and took on a cone-like shape.” This
medical issue caused Jene’ to be insecure and have
profound body image problems.

Finally, when she was 21 and working full-time for

NBC News, she decided to have surgery to lift one
breast and insert saline implants into both. “I don’t
think I could have lived my entire life feeling the way I
did as a teen—I always felt like a mutant because of
the way my breasts were. It was liberating to ‘fix’
them,” she says now.

Jene’ used to be embarrassed to show her breasts to

boys, but with a bit of science she is more
comfortable now. She ignores the snide remarks she
would hear made by men who didn’t understand the
emotional duress that caused her to go ahead with

10
the surgery. “Women as sexual beings,” she says,
“feel a lot of pressure to have perfect bodies and
perfect breasts. This unattainable idea of perfection is
dangerous, especially to young girls.”

Grace agrees. “Living in this society, aren’t we all

influenced by male perceptions of female beauty?
Look at ads, movies, magazines, television,
performers, etc.,” she says. “Women are exceedingly
presented through the male viewpoint. Even in
women’s magazines, you’ll see sexed-up ads and
photos that could easily slip right into a men’s
magazine like GQ or Maxim. So I definitely think the
male perception of female beauty pervades every
visual aspect of American society. But with that said, I
never had any trouble dating with a small cup, and I
don’t even think it’s a significant factor that men take
into consideration when feeling attracted to a woman.
I didn’t get a boob job to get more dates; I did it to feel
the glamour and sense of femininity that I had come
to associate with a full cup.”
♦◊♦
In all of this I had to re-evaluate my preconceived
notions of breast implants as the source of evil on
Planet Earth. I do find the acceleration of the
procedures alarming and get pretty sick to my
stomach when I see more and more women with
plastic surgery that, at least to my eyes, is grotesque.

My view on the aggregate level has not changed that

much. Kind of like with the prevalence of porn in our

11
country, I still firmly believe that we should all take the
obsession with fake over real when it comes to
gender relations as a red flag. It shows that we aren’t
really willing or able to deal with each other directly—
unfiltered, middle-aged body to middle-aged body.

We would prefer the fantasy, whether on the Web or

in the breast (or, when it comes to strippers, both at
the same time).

But when it comes to each individual woman’s

decision as to what to do with her own body, my
judgments really have no bearing whatsoever. Who
the hell am I to pass judgment on Jenna the 25-year-
old PR executive, or anyone else for that matter?

In the end, I think what scared me the most when I

saw our relative and her new breasts was the impact
of seeing so many women getting augmentation might
have on my daughter, my sister, my wife and the
other women who I hold dear. But having thought
about it more, I now realize that a woman’s body is
her own. No man can tell her what to do with it. Not
even her father or her husband or her brother.

12
 "The Prayer" by Pablo Solomon

About Tom Matlack

Tom Matlack is the co-founder of The Good Men
Project. He has a 17-year-old daughter and 15- and
6-year-old sons. His wife, Elena, is the love of his life.
Comments

1. Huh? says:

June 2, 2011 at 5:16 am

5 2
Men overwhelmingly prefer natural breasts. Men

13
don’t bear any responsibility for the plastic surgery
that women chose to have done because guess
what? Women are adults, just like men.

Reply

o Amber says:
June 2, 2011 at 9:53 am

0 2
I’m completely against augmentation, but whether
fake or natural, both men and women need to learn
how to accept women as they are. I’m not bothered
by men who have preferences, but men who press
natural breasts on women are just as bad as men
who press women to get augmentations. I also notice
that men who say they prefer natural breasts prefer it
for selfish reasons: they’re bouncy, soft, blah, blah,
blah. They don’t prefer them for any reasons that
have to do with women’s comfort.

Reply

 Go to says:

14
 June 2, 2011 at 2:28 pm

2 0
Amber, you just have a low opinion of men and an
over inflated opinion of women.
If they prefer natural, they are bad, if they for some
reason prefer fake they are bad, if they prefer natural
because they feel and look better, they are bad.
And in your book whats acceptable is men basing
their preferences on what evers more comfortable
for women, but in reality, I think you would find men
with no minds of their own and like or don’t like
things based on whats best for you pretty creepy and
unattractive,
For someone who claims to be a humanist and not a
feminist, you come out with some very feministy
things.

Reply

2. Margaret says:

June 2, 2011 at 7:20 am

0 0

15
How
about http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2
011/06/perverse-incentives/8489/

Reply

3. TheBlended says:

June 2, 2011 at 9:55 am

0 0
Thank you for this balanced article…I truly enjoyed
reading it. Not everyone was born into the “ideal”
body, but it’s what you make of it, right? I’ve met the
kind of girls that have implants who sort of wear them
like a badge and it seems to be the ruling force in
their lives, and then I’ve met women who you
wouldn’t know have implants because they didn’t get
them for anyone else but themselves. I think that’s
the difference in the way I feel about it. One side of
the story makes me a little sick while the other side of
the story makes me respectful of their very personal
choice.

Reply

16
 4. Daddy Files says:

June 2, 2011 at 10:04 am

2 0
I love natural breasts. Fake boobs are terrible. But my
wife has always wanted breast augmentation surgery,
and very well may get it someday. I’m against it
because I think she looks perfect the way she is, but
if she wants to do it then ultimately I’ll accept it and I’d
never forbid her to do something just because I didn’t
like it.
But I don’t think men bear any responsibility for the
increase of fake boobs. These are adult women with
their own thoughts and opinions. They’re doing it, not
men. I think you can easily subtract men from this
whole equation.

Reply

5. Danny says:

June 2, 2011 at 10:59 am

2 0

17
Daddy Files:
But I don’t think men bear any responsibility for the
increase of fake boobs. These are adult women with
their own thoughts and opinions. They’re doing it, not
men. I think you can easily subtract men from this
whole equation.
Agreed. Trying to hold men responsible for that would
be like trying to hold women responsible for the
advent of penis elargement junk emails.
Personally I don’t care much about the size of a
person’s breasts in and of themselves. Although I
admit that I do notice their size in relation to the other
parts of the person’s body but even then its not like
its a deal breaker. Its a preference not a requirement.

Reply

6. Clark Kent says:

June 2, 2011 at 11:03 am

4 2
When the hell will women have to take full
responsibility for the choices they make? Seems like
every article on this site perpetuates this idea that the
“evils of patriarchy”, and the “Male Gaze”, and male
this and that etc. are the very least equally

18
responsible for decisions that women make. You
would think from reading this site that women had
absolutely no agency whatsoever.
Are women THAT insecure and easily influenced by
male opinions?
Are men THAT overbearing and hell bent on
controlling every aspect of female existence?
Hell no!
Bottom line women who get augmentation for
whatever reason CHOSE to do so. THAT person and
ONLY THAT person opted to go under the knife.
Also, where is this notion coming from that the
majority of men like large or enhanced breast?
Maybe, just maybe a large portion of the 300,000
women who opted to get augmentation last year
thought THEMSELVES that bigger/augmented breast
were better under their own volition.

Reply

7. Tom Matlack says:

June 2, 2011 at 11:23 am

I am just going to dip my toe in here because Clark

and other are making broad, untrue statements about

19
the site and what we are trying to do. I personally
have a pretty strong bias against breast
augmentation as a phenomenon not only because
fake over real isn’t something I find aesthetically
pleasing in pretty much anything, but because as a
father of a 17 year-old girl and wife of a 46 year-old
women I am sensitive to the pressure the women in
my life are under as they walk around a world that is
dominated by porn, swimming pools populated by
augmented breasts, and the like. I wrote the piece
because I saw a women I care a lot about who got
plastic surgery I really think out of a kind of despair
that made her look, in my personal view, worse not
better. It made me really sad. That’s why I decided to
write the piece. What I found in doing the research is
that like so many other things when it comes to
gender there is no easy overall conclusion to be
made about augmentation. And frankly in the end,
yes, these are adult women making decisions about
their own bodies for better or worse.
But I don’t think this discussion somehow leaves men
completely innocent nor do I think it is intended to
highlight the evils of patriarchy. It was intended to
present the issue in as balanced a way, from as
many perspectives as I possibly could, to promote a
thoughtful discussion.

Reply

20
o Clark Kent says:
June 2, 2011 at 12:34 pm

3 0
I’m basing this response on this ^^^ particular
response you’ve posted.
If you and I and (I believe the majority) of the
American male population find natural breast more
aesthetically pleasing, where then is this pressure
coming from for women to opt for augmentation?
Also where is this obsession coming from? And, why
is that obsession being insinuated as male-centric?
Also, from your statement: “I wrote the piece
because I saw a women I care a lot about who got
plastic surgery I really think out of a kind of despair
that made her look, in my personal view, worse not
better. It made me really sad. That’s why I decided to
write the piece.”
Do you believe women (or the majority of) who do
augment do so because of some sort of
esteem/insecurity issue? Why isn’t as much
credence given to the idea that women themselves
choose to augment because THEY find it more
attractive?
No one would dare blame women for the “male
enhancement” craze of the last decade or so. The

21
vast majority of people would agree that it is due to
male insecurities and not pressure from women
saying bigger is better. Why can’t that same
argument or logic be applied to breast
augmentation?
I think that’s where many people’s (or at least my)
frustration comes from this article.

Reply

 Tom Matlack says:

June 2, 2011 at 1:49 pm

“Do you believe women (or the majority of) who do

augment do so because of some sort of
esteem/insecurity issue? Why isn’t as much
credence given to the idea that women themselves
choose to augment because THEY find it more
attractive?”
Read the piece. I don’t think the women who got
augmentation would say they did it because of
insecurity in general. Many would say men had
nothing to do with it. But what I came to having
talked to a bunch of women who had implants and a
bunch of guys who have all kinds of proclivities, and
frequent strip clubs and porn and those who don’t,

22
etc…is that you really can’t generalize. Just like I
wouldn’t want to speak for all men on what it means
to be good I really can’t say why all women, or even
most women, get breast augmentation.
All I said was taken as a whole the trend is troubling
to me personally as I would like to believe that
natural beauty is better than something that is
artificial. That’s why I chose to use art for the piece
because artists in general try to get at what is the
essence of the human form, not some crazy cartoon
character version. I also do think that the prevalence
of porn and acceleration of breast augmentation are
related. There has been quite a bit of research done
which indicates that men who watch porn regularly,
in general, become inclined towards cartoon style
artificial breasts. Not everyone but more than the
average population.
Believe me I am not man bashing here. I am just
trying to lay out there that breast augmentation is
happening, it has a variety of reasons, and has real
consequences, and its worth talking about.

Reply

 Clark Kent says:

June 2, 2011 at 2:38 pm

23
 1 0
Well I definitely appreciate the fact that you take
time out to participate in discussions in the
commenting section. Whether or not we agree on a
certain issue it is refreshing that you make yourself
available in such a way.

Reply

 Daddy Files says:

June 2, 2011 at 2:56 pm

0 2
Tom: I’m curious about the porn angle.
Why are we so quick to blame adult movies for
society’s ills? What about actresses with boob jobs
in mainstream movies? Or how about the fact that
going under the knife for elective surgery is thought
of as commonplace now? I think those things have
much more to do with the prevalence of plastic
surgery than porn. And if I am gawking at fake tits in
porn, it’s probably not because I’m attracted to them.
To the contrary, I’m probably flabbergasted at how
huge, hard and nasty they look and I’m viewing it
like a carnival sideshow.
And lastly, I truly believe women are out to impress
other women far more than they’re out to impress

24
men. Just my two cents.

Reply

 Tom Matlack says:

June 2, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I do think women are out to impress each other but

have actually talked to a lot on this topic and pretty
consistently breasts are not something that goes
into that category. Breasts are a guy thing is what I
have been told by women who have had
augmentation and those that haven’t. Take that for
what its worth but that is what my unscientific
sample would say.
On porn I am actually talking about quite a bit of
research done around the topic that draws the
correlation. Unscientifically, of course, you can just
go on the fact that 90% of women in strip clubs
have breast augmentation and they are doing it
purely as an economic decision, to maximize how
much money men will spend on them. You and I
might not like the look, but guys going to a strip club
certainly do or the women wouldn’t be doing it.

Reply

25
 8. Amber says:

June 2, 2011 at 11:25 am

2 1
I will readily admit men are not at all at fault for this.
It’s mostly women who pressure each other to have
enhanced breasts. I have never once heard of a man
pressuring his wife or girlfriend or whatever to have
enhanced breasts. In fact, on an episode of True Life,
the women who wanted breast implants did so
because either their mothers or their friends were
pressuring them. Their boyfriends were just fine with
the way they are and tried to discourage them from
doing so, but they kept claiming it’s a confidence
thing–or even a bullying thing. Confidence doesn’t
come from such artificial remedies as breast
implants. Confidence comes from within and is the
ability to accept yourself. I mean, I try not to judge
women who choose to get breast implants, but it’s
very hard to not get upset at some of the reasons
they posit because there is no true rationality behind
their reasons. Sure, their choices don’t effect me, but
they only feed into this perfect body situation and
serve as another example of the supposed female
plight.

26
Reply

9. Go to says:

June 2, 2011 at 2:34 pm

0 2
Tom Matlock
Are you serious, you don’t like the fact that men don’t
share collective responsibility and guilt for womens
vanity and their decisions to get breast
enhancements?
You are more than welcome to languish in the
feminist constructed, oppressive prison of collective
male guilt, but don’t expect the rest of us to join you.
Let me know when you get out, and I’ll buy you a pint.

Reply

10. Erin says:

June 2, 2011 at 4:58 pm

1 2

27
Instead of being so quick to respond defensively to
something that apparently is a big issue for women,
perhaps a better way to look at this issue is to take a
step back and as a man, not blame women for their
choices or automatically make the connection that
women are blaming men for their choices. I’d be
more encouraged to hear from men: “women do face
a lot of pressure and I can understand why they do or
don’t get breast implants.” Instead of some of the
defensive this-is-all-women’s-fault-and-women’s-own-
issue-to-deal-with attitude that doesn’t really help
men and women bridge body image gaps.
I’m small chested but my mom is quite busty. It never
bothered me until I started learning more about the
types of media that interested men, the types of
women that were represented in that media and the
comments that I heard in general from male friends
and boyfriends about my own chest size and other
girls. I am NOT blaming men. I am responsible for my
own self confidence. But men comment on breast
size. Breasts matter to men. This isn’t a secular
issue. Men have an impact here. There is a big focus
on breast size for women then there is for penis size
in men. Because quite simply, breasts are
everywhere in media and commercials on a level that
male penis size doesn’t reach.
And honestly, from my perspective, men send such
double messages here. You can’t say you like the
way fake breasts look but not feel and think that’s

28
suppose to make women feel good or be less
confused. So we are only suppose to look like the
fantasy but feel like the real thing. That’s an
impossible standard to meet. As a woman, it often
seems like you’re suppose to possess the super
human confidence to not worry about the way your
body looks, or not buy into the images that the media
sends about your body; but it’s okay for the men in
your life to buy into the exact images you try to fight
against. And I don’t think that’s fair. I am never going
to get breast implants, my size fits who I am. But I will
be damned that I’m told that I’m suppose to be so
uber confident to not let these images affect me while
men continually buy into them by staring, purchasing,
commenting or paying money to see them. This
needs to be a joint effort. If you are a man that likes
real breasts, saying things like fake breasts look good
but real ones feel good doesn’t help the case for real
breasts. If you are a man that likes real breasts,
spending money on strippers with fake ones because
it’s something new, doesn’t help the case for real
breasts.
Women might get breast implants to make
themselves more confident. But that’s only because
they previously bought into an idea that their bodies
aren’t good enough as they are. I don’t believe that
any woman gets breast implants just for themselves.
They get them because they believe their bodies are
not appropriate the way they are. That they are aren’t
proportionate. But what is proportionate? How has

29
that idea of changed through the years and why?
Look at women in old paintings and most of us would
probably think they aren’t proportionate. And yet, they
were painted because they were thought to be
beautiful. Our ideas of what “proportionate” is today is
the real question.
But of course, women naturally play a huge part too.
(However, this shouldn’t be used as an excuse for
men to obliterate any responsibility for the messages
they send about what they like in women’s bodies.) I
remember my one girlfriend being upset with a friend
of hers that got breast implants. This same girlfriend
had a baby a year ago and was talking about how
she might get her breasts lifted after she was done
having kids. I was a little flabbergasted with her at
first because she was critical of her friend that got
breast implants. And she was only critical of that
friend because she knew that the desire for the
implants was born out of insecurity and she felt sorry
for her friend. And I know that her desire to fix her
breasts after having kids is born out of her insecurity
as well.
We all know what men like. We all know what men
pay attention to. Women want men to like them, to
still be attracted to them. And if men show they are
attracted to a certain body type, women will strive to
be that body type. Women live in a world that reminds
them everyday how much they lack. Then they go
home to their partners who more then likely, are

30
downloading images of other girls with or without
implants. Women can’t get away from the message
about their bodies. I am not asking men to take the
blame for this. I am just asking that men try to
understand where women are coming from here.
Penis size isn’t as nearly represented in media like
boobs are. But women have a resonsibility to
themselves to learn real body confidence. Then
women need to reject ideals about what makes them
women, that bigger breasts make them more
womanly and men need to reject mediums that
support the most shallow parts about women and
send false ideas about what a real woman’s body is.
Until that happens, a lot of men are going to see their
daughters and wives struggle with the way their
bodies look.

Reply

o Makenzie says:
June 2, 2011 at 6:32 pm

1 0
AMEN. Thank you for such a thoughtful response.

Reply

31
 11. Go To says:

June 2, 2011 at 6:11 pm

0 1
I’m sorry Erin
But the crusade by privileged american feminists to
get men to believe that grown women should be
pampered , molly coddled and fathered by men as a
group is totally and utterly unreasonable.
You’d just like to “get men” to think this, understand
that, take responsibility for you, to control men and
manipulate them into the role of your father and
protector and whipping boy.
If women have a problem with the media, stop
worshiping it, celebrities and taking your cues from it,
disconnect.
If you have a problem with beauty standards, stop
competing with each other and driving them up.
If you have a problem with vanity, fall out of love with
your own reflections.
Date within your league instead of using fakery to aim
above it.
The first step for feminists in this regard, is to stop
blaming men and “patriarchy” for their neurosis and
weaknesses and every other little thing, because

32
otherwise its impossible to conceptualize talking
responsibility for yourselves.
Paternal men, like some of the ones writing for this
mag. are responsible too, for encouraging and
enabling it.
You’ve got to chose between equality or being
children, you cant expect to be treated like children
and expect equality, its one or the other.

Reply

12. Makenzie says:

June 2, 2011 at 6:28 pm

1 0
1) Just as the size of a man’s penis or muscles can
make him feel more/less masculine, so the size of a
woman’s breasts make her feel more or less
feminine. I have always been very small on top, and it
makes me feel less womanly. Working for a plastic
surgery review site, I have come across many women
who say the same thing. Having full breasts is one
thing that has always made women different from
men, so it seems only natural that we feel a desire to
enhance that distinction.

33
2) Regardless of who started it (men or women), a
woman’s breasts have long been put on display.
Even in historical clothing, corsets and dresses were
designed to push ‘em up and out. For whatever
reason, breasts are a focal point in our culture, and
probably always will be. Why should a woman feel
bad for wanting to enhance her focal point?
3) Regarding the “natural” vs “fake” debate. The
problem with asking men this question, is that many
men associate fake boobs with what they see in porn
and Hollywood. The reality is, a lot of women opt for
small (C or less) implants that the naked eye wouldn’t
notice if done by an expert surgeon. Of course one
might prefer a natural looking B-cup to say, Holly
Madison’s rocks. But the more important question is
would you prefer a barely-there, all natural AA, or a
slightly enhanced C that still had the slope and curve
of natural breasts? The latter is entirely achievable
with a good doc.
I do think it’s odd when women choose implants that
are too large for their body, ala Pam Anderson.
But just as women prefer bigger penises (it’s not a
deciding factor, but she’s lying if she says it’s not a
plus), so do most men prefer breasts that are full and
present. A too large penis uncomfortable, as too big
of breasts could be awkward and get in the way.
It’s not about porn star knockers, but just having
*something.* I’ve never had anything but
compliments on my breasts-that-disappear-in-a-bikini,

34
but I can’t imagine any of my exes being upset if they
were suddenly a little larger. These features are what
set our sexes apart, so why wouldn’t we be
genetically inclined to look for someone who has the
most to offer? Watch one episode of “Life” or “Planet
Earth” and it’s clear that many animals choose mates
in similar ways.

Reply

13. Henry Vandenburgh says:

June 2, 2011 at 7:40 pm

1 0
Natural is more beautiful. Surgery is okay by me if it
is to repair a problem. I had a friend in college with
mismatched boob sizes, and I thought she looked
great. (We went to a college with a lot of nude
sunbathing. We weren’t lovers.)

Reply

35