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Parenting and Coaching Children, Part 1

Parenting and Coaching Children, Part 1

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Published by Reza Hossein Borr

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Published by: Reza Hossein Borr on Jun 13, 2011
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05/12/2014

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Parenting and coaching children,part 1Reza Hossein Borr 
 A criminal is the child of his parents who failed him.Coaching children is obviously the most difficult job in earth. Almost everybody in thisworld has been involved in rearing and coaching children. All of them tried to do their best to bring up a child of their dreams. But how many of them have succeeded? Justfew. That's why I say that parenting or coaching children is the most difficult job in theworld. Even though, nobody feels to go on a training course for rearing or coachingchildren. Every single teacher and every single parent and every single member of family think that they know how to coach a child. The absolute majority of them arewrong, have been wrong and will be wrong in future. My argument is very simple. If these people who are or have been in charge of children were able to coach themproperly to the level that they aspired for the children to become, then why our world isin a mess from point of view of morality, integrity, humanity, human rights, fairness andprogress? The parents and teachers fail children because they do not know parentingand teaching.Parents and teachers need more training or coaching on children than anybody else.When I look at my own children I know how much I have been wrong in many areas. Although I have been on several courses and although I have conducted extensiveresearches, I have come to a very clear conclusion: I could have been a much better father than I am now. Every father that I know, every teacher that I know, every coachthat I know feels like me. All of them have great wishes for children. And all of themhave failed by 90 per cent in achieving their goals of parenting and coaching children.Is this true that children are not coachable? Or is it true that the teachers are notproperly trained to coach children to become the kind of the children that the teacherswant or the parents want? While every parent and every teacher tries the best to bringthe best in the children, why the absolute majority of them fail in the absolute majority of cases?When some of the children become great people when they grow up, the parents andteachers just would not believe that. Neither the teachers nor the parents were able to
 
predict that the kind of child that they witnessed would have the potentials or thecommitment for success to become the person he is. None of the teachers of Churchill,neither his parents predicted what he could be. There is no way that the parents of BillClinton or Hillary Clinton ever thought that their children would be what they became.These are exceptional people that have gone through amazing conditions andsomehow have managed to become what they have become.Some of the parents are amazed why their children have failed to become what theparents aspired. Some of the teachers and parents are amazed why children or students became much better than what they predicted. The fact is that rearingchildren, training and teaching children are very difficult jobs. As I mentioned the mostdifficult job in the world is to train and teach a child and set a goal for him to becomewhat you decided for him.I have four children. All of them have graduated from university. This is a greataccomplishment. But they are not near to what I think that could have become. I amfully confident that they have great potentials and talents. I am also fully confident thatthey have not been able to nurture even 20 percent of their talents. I am also fullyconfident that they could have become much greater than what they are. Just I do notunderstand why they didn't become what I aspired for them. I don't understand whythey didn't become the kind of high achievers that I wanted them to become. I workedvery hard with them to coach them. This is my belief. But possibly my children do notagree with me. I blame them and they blame me. In fairness, I did not know what to do.They think that I have been wrong in most of cases. Even when I tried to set rules andregulations, they considered them very unfair. When I tried to stop them from eating toomany chocolates, they became very angry. Whenever I tried to persuade them to dotheir work, they concluded that I was a bad father. They thought that I should havebought them everything that they wanted. They think that I should have left them alone,allowing them to play all the time. They think that I could have been a good father if Iallowed them to play with their games when other children were in school. They thinkthat I should have allowed them to stay awake until late night to watch different filmswhich were not appropriate for their ages. They think that I should have allowed themto sleep without doing their home works. They think that I should have allowed them tohit each other. They think that I should always take the side of every one of them at thesame time.Just I do not know how to take the side of both of them at the same time. Every timethat they had a fight one of them expected me to hit the other and when I refused to doso one of them got angry. None of them expected me as a good father to expect themto brush their teeth in the morning. None of them expected me to expect them to stopplaying and start their home works. None of them expected me to expect him to do hiswashing-up. The list goes on and on.Now, after years of thinking, I conclude that if I knew HOW to do those things, I couldhave been a better parent and my children could have been more successful.

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