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Father's Day Story, June 2011

Father's Day Story, June 2011

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Published by Justin Halpern
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Published by: Justin Halpern on Jun 14, 2011
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06/15/2014

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YouTakeWhatYouNeedFromYourFather
Father’sDayhasneverbeenabigdealatmyhouse.Mydadhatescelebrations.HegoesthroughthemotionsforChristmasbecauseitmeansalottomymom.He’llputupwithEasterbecauseitmeanshegetstoeatham.“Youcanprettymuchgettodowhateveryouwantifyougivemeham,”he’ssaidmanytimesinmylife.ButFather’sDayistechnicallyhisholiday,andthereforehefeelshehastherighttosquashitinourhouse.“Anyonecanfuckingprocreate,andmosteventuallydo.Irefusetocelebrateastatisticalprobability,”heannouncedonFather’sDaywhenIwasseventeen.Iwasabouttograduatefromhighschool,andmyrelationshipwithmydadduringthelastyearhadbeenrocky.Everythingwedidseemedtoannoyoneanother.Idealtwiththefrictionbyavoidingbeinginthehousewhilehewasthere,andhedealtwithitbyrepeatingthephrase,“Youmind?I’mwatchingthefuckingNatureChannel.”SowhenhetoldmeonthemorningofFather’sDaythatyearthathewouldnotpartakeinacelebration,frankly,Iwasfinewithit.Butmymotherwasnot.ThatnightIsatonmybedreadingabrochurefromSanDiegoStateUniversity,whereIwasheadinginthefall,whenthedoortomyroomopenedandmyfatherentered.“Sorrytointerruptwhateveritisyou’redoing,”hesaid.“I’mjustlookingatsomeoftheclassestheyhaveatState,”Isaid.Ohyeah?Likewhat?Youwanttoknow?“Ah,fuckit,notreally.Listen,yourmotherthinksyou’regoingtogoofftocollegeandhatemeandthenwe’renotgoingtobefriendsagainuntilI’mdyingandIgotawadofshitinmypants.That’sbullshitright?”Ah“So,look,I’mnotaneasyguytogetalongwith.Iknowthat.ButyouknowIwouldmurderanotherhumanbeingforyouifitcamedowntoit.Murder.Fuckinghomicide.Ifitcamedowntoit.”“Whywouldyouneedtodothatforme?”Isaid.“Idon’tknow.Maybeyougetmixedupinsomegamblingshitoryouscrewsomeguy’swifeor–don’tmatter.Notmypoint.Mypointis:Imayseemlikeanasshole,butImeanwell.AndIwanttotellyouastory,”hesaid,takingaseatonthefootofmybedbeforequicklyjumpingup.
 
“Yourbedsmellslikeshit.WherecanIsitthatdoesn’tsmelllikeshit?”Ipointedtomydeskchair,whichwascoveredwithdirtyclothes.Hebrushedtheclothesontothegroundandcollapsedinthechair.“Justforyourinformation,thischairalsosmellslikeshit.Thisisn’tanon-shit-smellingoption.Incaseagirlcomesoverorsomething.”Whatsyourstory,Dad?Isnapped.“IevertellyouhowImangledmyarm?”heasked,pointingtothelarge,whitecrescent-shapedscarthatpracticallycircledhisentireelbow.“Yeah,lotsoftimes.Youwere,like,tenandyouwereonthefarmandyoufelloffatobaccowagon,thenthewagonrolledoverit.”“Right.ButIevertellyouwhathappenedafterthewagonrolledoverit?”Maybe.Heleanedbackinthechair.“Iwaslayingontheground,bonespokingthroughmyskin.YourAuntDebbieisjustgoingape-shit.Theypopmeinourcar,andwedriveforty-fiveminutestoLexingtontothedoctor’s.Thisis1946Kentucky,andmytownwasashitstainonamapsowehadtodrivetothecity.Sothedocseesme,dressesthewoundsbesthecan,andputsmeupinthehospitalbed.AtthispointI’mabouttopassoutonaccountofthepain.”“Ialmosthadthathappenonce,”Iinterrupted.“Noyoudidn’t.Soanyway,I’mlyinginmyhospitalbedwhenyourGrandpagetsthere.AndyourGrandpawasatoughsonofabitch.Hewasn’tlikehowyouknewhim;hesoftenedupinhisnineties.SoGrandpagrabsthedoc,andyourAuntDebbieandthetwoofthemgooutsidemyroom.Icanhearthemtalking,buttheydon’tknowthat.ThedoctellsyourGrandpathattheythinkthere’sagoodchancethataninfectionhasalreadytakenholdinmyarm.AndGrandpa,inthatscratchyvoicehe’sgot,askswhatthatmeans.Andthedoctellshimitmeanstheyhavesomemedicinetheycangivemethatmightkilltheinfection,butitmightnot,andifitdoesn’t,I’lldie.”Youheardthedoctorsaythat?Yep.Whatdyoudo?“Whatdoyoumean?Ihadfuckingbonescomingoutofmyelbow.Ididn’tdoshit.SothedoctellsGrandpathatthere’sa50/50chancethemedicineworks.Butthenhesaysthere’sanotheroption.Hetells

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LauraKester liked this
JudyWeismonger added this note
Age age 38, it was far, far too late to believe Ross loved me on any level. He used people. I can remember incident after incident where he tricked me from following my own course in life...and to return back to the ranch, so I could be his unpaid house ******. His idea of "love" was nothing more than a manipulation.
JudyWeismonger added this note
It took me years to unlearn and disconnect from a man who attempted to turn me into an 18th century female slave... And do I think he deserves my respect and love. Not for one second. He abused my mother, he abused me, and my brother. He deserves nothing from me.
JudyWeismonger added this note
Did Ross mean well? No, not exactly...in psychological terms, Ross was merely projecting on to me the feeling of vulnerability and weakness he felt in his own life...and compensating by trying to create a more "perfect" little Ross in me. To this day, Ross continues to be a study in bizarre psychopathology and emotional autism. I learned what I did not ever want to be like...Ross.
JudyWeismonger added this note
Yup, when I was 38 years of age, Ross told me that "he loved me"....then explained to Ron why he had treated me so badly growing up. Ross said "it was to make me tough." Well, I became tough alright.... I have experienced some of the conditions and life experiences most human beings never go through...because I was tough.
AngelaCallahan added this note
This is the first time that I have read one of your articles, and the only thing I can say is...I believe your father and my father must be related some where along the line....because this article sounds just like my father his language, gestures, and the same words that would come out of his mouth. Hard man to love, but love him anyway.
sandees29 liked this

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