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Dating Tip: Become Successful With Women by Modeling

Dating Tip: Become Successful With Women by Modeling

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Dating Advice
Dating Advice

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Published by: Braddock www.braddocksblog.com on Jun 21, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Dating Tip: Become Successful With Women by Modeling 
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 The most common way we learn our dating habits is through modeling the behavior of others. Itstarts with modeling our parents when we are children, then through watching our friends,movies, etc«When you hear someone say, ³That guy is a natural´ what they really mean is he had some greatmodeling as a child. When you think back to your childhood who did you accidentally model?Was your dad a smooth confident guy? Were you raised by a single mom who was overlyreligious and guarded? Were you raised by parents who had a healthy loving and caringrelationship? Were you raised by parents who fought all the time and were basicallyroommates?These models have a profound effect on you and will continue to play out in your own life if youare not aware of them and you don¶t change them. The apple doesn¶t fall far from the tree withmost people. If your dad was a wimp who got pushed around by your mom, you¶ll likely findyourself in similar relationships. If your dad was overbearing and dominated women in anunhealthy way, you¶ll likely find yourself dominating women in relationships.We tend to be identical to one or a combination of our parents belief systems in regards to loveand relationships. We must be careful about the lessons we internalize and hold as fact.
Modeling Family
 Just because someone we love and look up to did something a certain way, doesn¶t make it the best/right way. Sadly we learn these behaviors at such a young age, they are now autopilotresponses. We do them automatically and have a blind spot to how they might be holding us back. These blind spots could rear their head in multiple arenas depending on who you modeled.If your dad married the wrong woman or was cheated on he probably taught you to be impatientand bitter toward women in general. If your dad was a weak guy who was just happy to have µwife, then you were probably taught to put women on a pedestal and accept any and all behavior to please her. If your dad was a distant father who cheated on your mom but was loving andcharismatic to the rest of the family, you probably learned that deep meaningful relationshipswith women are unrealistic and you learned to stay distant and guarded. Maybe your dadcheated on your mom and you saw how hurt your mom was, so you went the polar opposite.You have vowed to never hurt a woman and you¶ve taken it so far that you feel guilty if youeven tease a woman or shoot her straight.
Maybe you had a father who you look up to as if he is a superhero and he is amazing in mostareas of life, but has a terrible relationship with your mother, but despite this you follow hisrelationship/dating advice dogmatically because you can¶t stand the idea of letting him down.You¶ll follow his advice even at the risk of marrying the wrong women and having anunsatisfying relationship for years just so you don¶t disappoint him. Then when you have a son,you do the same thing to him, because that¶s what you modeled and you don¶t even know youare doing it to him.
Modeling Friends
 I think picking a healthy peer group is one of the most important decisions of your life. We¶veall heard the saying, ³You are the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with.´ Icouldn¶t agree more. Just because a friend is a good friend, a good person, great at business, or even great at attracting women, doesn¶t mean you should model how he handles relationships.Some of the most charismatic friends I¶ve ever had who could attract the hottest women andsleep with any girl they wanted, were absolutely terrible at keeping an amazing woman or havinga healthy relationship.Some of those great tactics that cause deep levels of attraction can be taken to far and cause atoxic relationship where it¶s nothing but fights and jealousy. The relationship becomes aconstant power struggle where the primary tools of expressing love are jealousy, withdrawal, andunhealthy boundary function. It¶s not about connected and dating their equal, it¶s aboutdominating a woman and making sure she knows who has the power. Well, if you are modelingthis, you can expect to end up in the same relationship prison.We often assume success in one area of life must mean success in all areas of life. I havementors who are great at attracting beautiful women, but this in no way makes them qualified to be a mentor in relationship management unless I have seen them in a loving healthyrelationship. Be careful about modeling the behaviors, thought patterns, and actions of someoneyou consider successful.Even worse is modeling the unhealthy friend who is jaded by women. These are the guys whoare charismatic with guys and speak from such a place of authority it can be easy to get suckedinto their reality and believe what they say and think. Often times these guys are extremelysmart and interesting, but because they are either bad with women or were hurt by a woman theyspew their negative beliefs onto anyone who is willing to listen. I was one of these guys for awhile. I remember after one of my girlfriends dumped me there was about a year and a half where I hated women. I saw them all as trying to use men, manipulative, fake, not loyal, and justgenuinely despised them. I¶d spew my hate about women to all my friends and look for anyshred of evidence I could find to validate my dark world view. I¶d joke negative about women, jump on any opportunity to help my friends find reasons to dump their girlfriends and was on asearch and destroy mission to find, sleep with, and crush every women in the tri state area.Because I¶m a charismatic guy and I was still good enough to sleep with women despite being jaded, my friends couldn¶t help but model my behavior, but what a horribly unhealthy model for my friends to follow. I still feel guilty about the things I accidentally taught the guys around meand damage I probably caused in their lives and relationships.
Model specific behaviors, overall character, and overall proactive thought patterns. Don¶tnecessarily model their life.
Modeling Gurus
 One of the biggest mistakes you can make is modeling the wrongDating Coach. I did it«.we alldo this. Be very careful about this or you could find yourself running around a club wearing atop hat and 12 inch platform shoes. This industry is full of weird guys who hate women, havedeep issues, are not as good with women as they say they are, over hype how good they are withwomen, and write tons of blog posts and articles that are half truths at best.Be careful about accepting any dating advice as fact and be leery of modeling the thoughts andopinions just because a guy says he¶s aDating Coach. Take the time to read numerous postsfrom that particular Dating Coachand try to read between the lines and figure out where he¶scoming from. Does it sound like it¶s coming from a good place«.a healthy place? Is it comingfrom a confident guy who is sharing what works or is he constantly trying to prove himself to anunknown audience? Does it sound like a guy trying to get validation from men by bragging? Ishe writing to impress or teach? Does what he say sound WAY to good to be true? It probably is.Another big problem I have with the community is many of the guys who teach this are notqualified to teach and those that are often write about and teach things that happen 1 out 100times instead of teaching about what happens 99 out of 100 times. A lot of guys give no contextfor the things they teach or the things they tell you to say. Things like ³negging´ have causedhuge problems for guys all over the world. There are guys all over the world going up to girlsand saying rude comments like, ³You have shit in your teeth.´ The idea of negging is fine if itis explained properly, but it¶s not, so good guys end up getting blown out by girls and comingacross really creepy.Guys will over hype things like bathroom pulls and other things that sound exciting on paper.They don¶t tell you that they do those rarely and the girl usually is average looking at best. Theymake it sound like they are going out and pulling super models in the bathroom every night. If you read this and try to model it, you will find yourself frustrated and might even feel bad aboutyourself wondering why you can¶t get the same result.Worse than anything, if you are modeling the mind sets of some of these guys, you are modelinga really unhealthy guy and modeling 1/2 truths that aren¶t even real. Some of the guys I¶ve metthrough this don¶t need to be giving advice to anyone and could use a bump in the dosage of their psych meds. Make sure the guy you are modeling is healthy or you will ultimately pay the price.
Who should you model?
 Modeling the rightDating Coachor natural can be extremely helpful. Going to a bootcamp andwatching guys who are amazing with women is priceless. Hearing the mindsets and beliefs of guys who are fantastic with woman can really set a good course for your dating life especially if you don¶t have anyone who is good to model.

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