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Dear Editor/Producer,What would you do if you realized that your own most fundamental assumptions aboutyourself were wrong? How would you reinvent yourself if in your forties you began to suspectthat much of your life had been built on a lie – or at least a critical misperception?These are the questions that Dr. Loren A. Olson, a prominent Midwestern psychiatrist, facedwhen he finally confronted the fact that despite almost two decades of marriage to a loving andemotionally compatible woman, he was sexually and romantically attracted to men.Between three and eight percent of the U.S. male population is gay. Given today’s freedoms,most young men can live as they choose. But for young men of the Baby Boomer generationwho grew up in a heterosexual world in which homosexuality was considered “deviant,” passingfor “straight” was the safest path.Now in mid-life or beyond, many of these men deny they’re gay while engaging in secret sexwith other men. Others are in the same situation as Olson: they hide their sexual orientation foryears, even to themselves.
 
What is it like for men who come out in middle-age to transition to gay life?
 
How does a wife left behind cope, believing her husband was never sexually attracted toher and may not have loved her?
 
How does a dad explain to his kids that the divorce isn’t about emotional compatibilitybut sexual identity?
 
What physical and emotional challenges are there for mature gay men, some of whomare exploring their same sex attractions for the first time?
 
What prejudices and inequalities do gay boomers have to confront as they enter theirgolden years?“Finally Out” answers these questions and many more. The book offers personal narrative,professional insight, and historical context that together may bring about a criticaltransformation in the way we understand gay identity and same-sex attraction, social stigma,and basic human rights.Sincerely,Leslie Wolfe Arista
 
 I’m just your average gay, close-to-retirement psychiatrist, living with my hus-band on a farm in rural Iowa
declares Loren A. Olson in his introduction.
Average … he’s not. Not only did Olson complete medical school, serve fouryears as a flight surgeon in the U.S. Navy, and embark upon a successfulcareer as a psychiatrist; he also had a compatible eighteen year marriageand raised two daughters with his attorney wife, Lynn, before facing up to adifficult truth about himself: he
is gay 
.There are approximately
7 million adult gay and bisexual men
in the UnitedStates. Although there are still hurdles to overcome regarding gay tolerance,for many young men today their sexual orientation is an accepted part oftheir identity. But in decades past, when Olson was growing up in the Mid-west in the 1950’s, it was a “sin” to be homosexual. The most dreadednames a boy could be called were “sissy,” “fairy,” and “queer.”Olson had a vague awareness that he was different from other boys. As hematured he attributed his sexual ambivalence to his dad’s death when hewas three; he was confused about his manhood, he reasoned, because helacked a male role model. Then came medical school, the navy, his psychiat-ric residency, marriage and raising a family. While meaningful and satisfy-ing life choices, they served to protect him from his intensifying feelings ofattraction towards men. If on occasion Olson questioned whether he might bebisexual, he pushed the thought from his consciousness. He was a“heterosexual, with a little quirk” he decided.But at 40, after decades of inner conflict, Olson was drawn to an affair witha married man. Although short-lived, it was the defining moment. Not longafter the relationship ended, he made a heart wrenching decision: he soughta divorce and began the complicated journey of “coming out” – to his wife,kids, mother, colleagues and friends. Facing down fears that the news wouldshatter his family and ruin his career, a lifetime of struggle began to resolveitself. Olson summoned the integrity to figure out who he really was andwhat it would mean to live as that person.With professional insight Olson examines his personal transformation from a“straight” man living in a heterosexual world to a gay man beginning hiseducation anew. He punctuates his story with revealing statistics from his in-terviews with gay men around the world and established studies on homo-sexuality, and with surprising historical facts that provide perspective onglobal cultural norms.Part personal memoirand part psychological treatise, “Finally Out” offers arigorous look at why some gay men live straight lives and never come toterms with their true sexual orientation; why some men believe they are “toostraight to be gay” even while engaging in secret sex with other men – andthe challenges faced by those who choose to “come out” after living half alifetime or more closeted.
www.FinallyOutBook.com
Contact: Leslie Wolfe Arista
Loren A. Olson
is a psychiatrist inprivate practice in Des Moines
Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight
inGroup Press/March 2011Paperback, 280 pagesISBN: 978-1-935-72503-9
 
Who’s the Audience?
♦
Men struggling with their sex-ual identity or who have justcome out
♦
Those who love them & areimpacted by it: parents, sib-lings, wives, children, friendsand colleagues
♦
People who enjoy memoir
♦
Psychology, sociology & his-tory buffs
♦
LGBT Community
♦
Mental health practitioners
♦
Educators, counselors & clergy
 Press Release
 
Loren A. Olson
 
MD, DLFAPA is a board certified psychiatrist who has beenengaged in the clinical practice of psychiatry for over 35 years. He hasbeen recognized for his achievements by his peers as a Distinguished LifeFellow of the American Psychiatric Association (APA), and by patients andtheir families as a recipient of the “Exemplary Psychiatrist Award” from theNational Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).While serving as Medical Director of Psychiatry Dr. Olson was responsiblefor developing and improving the psychiatric treatment programs at two ofthe largest hospitals in Iowa: Mercy Hospital Medical Center and MethodistHospital/Iowa Health System.Dr. Olson has been active in teaching psychiatry to residents in psychiatryand to medical and allied health students. He has also been an advocatefor the needs of the mentally ill on a national, state and local level and hehas held several offices in the Iowa Psychiatric Society, including president.Dr. Olson has conducted independent research on mature gay men, and hepresented the initial results of this research at the World Congress in Psy-chiatry in Prague in September 2008 and throughout the United States.A frequent resource for local print, radio and television journalists on topicsrelated to mental health, Dr. Olson was recently featured nationally onABC-TV’s Good Morning America. He writes for his own blog, Mag-neticFire.com, which has a strong following among mature gay men, and heis a regular featured blogger for HuffingtonPost.com and PsychologyTo-day.com.Dr. Olson and his life partner of over 20 years, Doug Mortimer, were le-gally married in Iowa in September 2009, six months after same-sex mar-riage was legalized in that state. He was previously married and is theproud father of two daughters and six grandchildren. He and Doug live ona farm south of Des Moines, where they raise Belted Galloway Cattle.Dr. Olson has been an active member and leader in Plymouth Church,United Church of Christ, in Des Moines. His experience as a gay man and aChristian was featured at the National Conference of the United Church ofChrist. He served for four years as a Flight Surgeon in the United StatesNavy.
www.FinallyOutBook.com
Contact: Leslie Wolfe Arista
Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight
“It was not until I was forty that Ifinally accepted that it is possibleto be both gay and good.”
Jon Stewart of “The Daily Show”about Reverend Ted Haggard:
“People like you make it reallyhard for, quite frankly,people like you.”According to a study of men inNYC, 10% who say they’re het-erosexual
only 
have sex with othermen and 10% of all married menhave had sex with another man inthe last year.
Loren A. Olson
is a psychiatrist inprivate practice in Des Moines
About the Author
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