Disenchanted

Johnny
October 21, 2010
The curtains were drawn with the only source of light being the flashing images on the television. Although I hadnt cared to actually listen to it, a few lines from a song coming out of the television caught my ear: With this ring you will be mine. With this ring Ill multiply. With this ring surrendering to you. Whats a boy to do?

I sat on my unmade bed holding the ring between my thumb and index finger. My jaw clenched with anger just by looking at the engagement ring. How could she do something like this and still have the nerve to beg me for forgiveness? Like the ever doting, foolish boyfriend, I did everything I possibly could to make her happy. I even spent a ridiculous amount of money designing the engagement ring with her birth stone and it was all for nothing. The ring slipped into my white palm where I enclosed my fingers around it and raised my arm to through it across the room, butI couldnt bring myself to let it go. Lowering my arm so that my clenched hand rested over my heart, the tears I had been trying to hold behind my puffy blue eyes came rushing out. That one small ring was the stepping stone to being together with Romance; it held my promise to her to be forever loving and faithful. My body curled in on itself and began to shake with every gasp for air that I took between cries. All I could feel was an overwhelming anger, betrayal, and despair as her words kept ringing in my ears. It didnt matter how many times I tried to block it out the moments leading up to her confession were etched into my brain. October 18, 2010 Would you like a pillow or blanket, sir? The feminine voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up at the friendly brunette flight attendant who was leaning in towards me ready to take my requests. This was the third

time the same flight attendant had come to me and was doing her best to flirt. Im fine, thank you. I gave her a small smile and reached into my pocket to retrieve a small black box opening it to reveal the ruby ring inside, Im proposing to my girlfriend today. Although I was never one to share my personal life with complete strangers, perhaps letting her know that I was taken would stop all of her advances. She tried to hide her disappointment with a smile, My best wishes. Im sure shell say yes. Let me know if you need anything. With that, she walked away finally leaving me in peace for the rest of the flight from Dallas to Los Angeles. When the plane had finally landed and I had gathered my luggage, I only had to walk a few feet before I spotted Romance. Her back was slightly turned to me as she extended her neck looking from side to side trying to pick me out of the crowd. Taking this as my chance to sneak up and surprise her, I walked over to her and picked her up from behind. She let out a small gasp as I whispered in her ear, Im sorry, miss, but I just had to tell you that youre the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen, I set her back down on the ground and turned her around to face me. I towered over her a good seven inches, but I loved being able to see her look up at me with those soft brown eyes. Romance hit me lightly on the shoulder, Goodness, Johnny, you scared me! Instead of replying, I gave her a sly smile and pressed my lips against hers; it had been so long since I last felt their softness. Ive missed you, The longing in my tone was clear as I whispered it to her pulling only a couple inches away and running my fingers through her long brown hair. Oh god, Ive missed you too, Johnny. She wrapped her arms around me and raised her head. Embracing her thin figure, I leaned down to kiss her once more.

Romance
October 21, 2010 The phone had been irritatingly silent for the last three days. The only phone call I had gotten was from Dean, my ex-best friend, who was the last person I wanted to talk to. Did you tell him yet? he had asked too calmly for my taste. Yes, I did. I had been sitting on my bed tapping my fingers impatiently against the covers hoping desperately that Johnny wasnt trying to call me while on was on the phone with this jerk. Howd he take it? Still, he had no sound of remorse in his voice; it infuriated me more than anything. How do you think he took it?! Badly, okay?! Worse than that, he was destroyed. Now, if that was all you called to ask Im hanging up now. I hadnt even given him time to reply before ending the call. Now I couldnt even tolerate sitting down for only a moment. My whole body was constantly shaking, anxiously waiting for my cell phone to ring and for it to be Johnny. All I wanted was to hear his voice saying he forgave me and wed work everything out, but who was I kidding? If he had done the same to me I wouldnt be so quick to forgive him. I let out a deep, exhausted sigh as I collapsed on to the bed raising my hands to cover my face. How could I have been so stupid and selfish? I let my hands rise above me just to let my eyes rest on my left hand. There should have been a ruby ring resting on my ring finger. My lips let out a gasp as I tried to hold back a cry. I would have said yes in a heartbeat had I not had something so awful to confess. October 18, 2010 Johnny and I had immediately started taking off each others clothes the moment I closed my apartments door. We didnt even make it to the bedroom; he had thrown me on the couch never letting our lips separate. I missed the feel of his body against mine, of his gasping breaths murmuring

how much he loved me. Still, throughout the whole thing this lingering guilt was always in the back of my mind. I watched as Johnny walked to the bathroom. He was such a beautiful man it still astounded me that out of all the women who constantly were after him, he had picked and stayed with me for so long. He was everything I ever wanted, and I owed it to him to tell him the truth. Pulling the small cover that had been on the couch over me, I closed my eyes mentally preparing myself for what I had to do. Romance, Opening my eyes, I saw Johnny sitting next to the couch, Sit up, honey. I need to tell you something. Once I did, I realized he shifted to one knee as he revealed a small black box in his hand. I gasped, my eyes widen and I felt my chest caving in. All I could think was, Oh god, this cannot be happening. Romance, these past five years have been the best years of my life. Youre the woman I had always looked for: intelligent, passionate, sincere, caring, beautiful. Im still amazed that at only being twenty-five I have found you, He opened the small box to reveal a ring with a ruby as the center piece, I know youve been through a lot lately since youre cousin passed away only a few months ago, but Im here to promise that I will be here for you, through the good and the bad. Romance Marie Voltaire, will you marry me? All of me wanted to say yes, but instead I said, I-II slept with Dean.

Johnny
October 21, 2010 Romance had pleaded with me to let her explain, but I didnt want to hear any of it. Even as she went on saying it was the day she found out her cousin died in the war, she was very vulnerable because he was like a brother to her, and to add to it drunk and lonely without me that she found comfort in Deans arms, I had already gotten my clothes back on ready to

leave. As I was about to leave I took a deep breath trying to hold in my anger and not lash out at the woman I loved. She had still been rambling about me being able to forgive her or something like that; I had to cut her off, Romance, there are so many hateful things I want to say to you right now; its taking all I have not to utter them. I need time to think. Please dont call me. Im going to a hotel. Thus, here I was in my hotel room as I had been the past three days still racking my mind on what to do. I only had one more day left until I had to go back to Dallas, but just one more day wasnt enough to make a complete decision. With that in mind, I picked up the phone and dialed Romances number, my heart pounding with every ring. Romance, I didnt call to hear you explain more. Im just calling to ask you to meet me tomorrow at the park where we first met. Ill be waiting at the bench by the stream. I only waited for her to agree and then hung up the phone. October 22, 2010 Romance walked slowly up to me hugging the black pea coat she was wearing; her hair swaying as the cold wind blew against it. I tried my best to contain myself from jumping up and taking her into my arms. Hey. Her voice was rasped and her eyes were still puffy and red even though she had tried to cover it with make-up. I motioned for her to sit next to me. It was heart-wrenching feeling her only inches away from, but forcing myself not to scoot closer. I have to go back to Dallas tonight. I only got these past few days off work. She nodded acknowledging this, Yes, I know. I wish it hadnt ended up like this, she dropped her arms and turned to me, Johnny, please, Im so Romance, dont bother, I saw her whole body tighten, I want to say I forgive you, that I understand you being heart broken and depressed, and we can work through this, but II just cant,

But No, Romance, no buts. Five years, Romance. Five years we were together, two of which were long distance, and you pull this on me? How could you? I rubbed my temple trying to calm the anger that was rising inside me. Johnny, I turned to her only to see tears running down her cheeks, It was a stupid mistake. I regretted it immediately. I felt so disgusted with myself letting someone else have me when youre the only one I want. Tears began to sting my own eyes, but I wasnt about to let her see me cry, But you let yourself get taken. Is this going to happen every time something horrible happens, Romance? Because life is full of troubling times, but that doesnt give you the right to cheat on your boyfriend and then blame it on depression, She had nothing to say and nothing I wanted to hear. I let out a deep sigh, What I came here to tell you was that I need time. Time to think this over, time to forgive you, time to move on from this. Until then, I took out the engagement ring from my pocket and held it towards her, take this. No, it doesnt mean Im proposing again, I simply cant have it near me. I place it in her hand, her redden brown eyes still pouring out tears. Thenwhat does this mean? her lips wear quivering as she gasped for air to hold in her cries. It means: I love you, but Im heart broken right now. I dont know when or if Ill forgive you and Im not asking you to wait your whole life just to see if I will, but I am asking you to give me some time apart from you. Theres been so much good in this relationship, perhaps it will overshadow this badin time. I gazed upon her, upon the woman I loved. Pushing the hair which had fallen in front of her face behind her ear, I placed a light kiss on her forehead. I love you. And, with that, I walked away telling myself not to turn around so she wouldnt see the tears I had been holding back freely falling from my eyes.